Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 9, Number 42, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 19 April 1879 — Page 1

Vol. 9.—No. 42

THE MAIL

A PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.

SECOND EDITION.

Town-Talk.

A SLIOHT MISTAKE.

"They used to hare mighty good coffee at the social gatherings in the parlors of the old Congregational Church, and I have heard sotno rather "spicy" sermons In the pulpit there. But 1 was greatly surprised, and not altogether pleased, to learn from my Isst Mail that the old landmark was to be turned into a "coflee and spice mill." When did the Congregatienalists leave their old ohurch, and where have they built a new one? Jo Strong must be doing a big business to waht such a big store as that."

The above is an extract from a letter from an old Terre Hautean, who moved away from here some eight or ten years ago, and who is ignorant of the fact that a big brick block has been built on the open Space south of the Congregational Church, and that the latter is not the only "Ijjlck building opposite Dowling Hall."

By the vray, it strikes T. T. that every man or woman who goes away from Terre Hauto ought to have The Mail sent after them to keep them posted as to the improvements, the changes, the deaths, the marriages, the movements of people and goings on generally.

Here at home T. T. is quite sure that everybody takes it, or at least reads it. At T, T.'s boarding house what The Mail has to say usually forms the topic of conversation for two or three meals after its appearance, and many of the oomments are both instructive and amusing. For instance, last Saturday evening, after sapper, some one pulled out his copy of The Mail. First he struck the item in regard to the verdiot in the case of

CRAPO VS. DOWLING.

It is true the news had appeared In the daily papers nearly a week before, bat this item renewed the subject, and one of the boarders remarked "That ia the incocvenionce of being rich. A fellow with money mast be mighty careful how he soattera about his promises to marry. If he'd been a poor devil he might have promised a dozen girls he'd have them, and had no lawsuit, and no s!x thousand dollars to pay."

Said another: "Perhaps so. But then If he'd been a poor devil bo might have found it rather difficult to find any girl to take his promise. Rather convenient to be able to make a promise that will be discounted, eh "No," chimed in some one else

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"the

moat inconvoulent thing in the world. Sends many a fellow to the dogs, haying nothing of the other sex. Monoy is at the bottom of no eud of inUchief this sort. It's a temptation to the fellow, a temptation to the girl, a temptation to the lawyers, and a 'terrible temptation' all round."

Then catno the case of HKADK VS. MCUR.AY. "Pshaw!" said a lady boarder, "That just corner from Tom Murray's politeness. Why, he Is the politest man to ladles that ever was. He treats them all as if lie thought they were angels. We Terre Haute ladies have got used to it, aud know he don't mean anything by it—that is, nothing serious. It's his polite way. This young woman probably wasn't used to such polite men, and thought he wanted to marry her. A natural mistake, very, but a mistake nevertheless. We all knew long ago that be never intended to marry anybody, no matter what he said. It was only politeness, that was all. It's a pity be should get into trouble so innocently." ••woman's oriNiexs." "Did you read what that woman said in The Mail this week about lawyers?" "Of course I dic^, I always read what she says." "Didn't she give it to them She'd evidently been there herself and knew all about it. And so have I, and it isn't a very oomfortable place to be. That fellow called me everything mean under heaven, and 1 wanted to lick him on the spot. Aud he saased me, asked me

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If I hadn't been tried for licking my wife, and when I left Jeffirsonvllle, and so on. Why, didn't know anybody ever thought I was suoh a mean old cuss. And then when it was all over, he oame to shake hands with me. I'm glsd tbero is somebody that dares to write just such an article as that."

A young lawyer, who bad been quietly reading The Mail over in the corner, looked up and said "Now this thing ought to stop. Why, that is a worse article than even old sneaking T. T. ever wrote about us. It is a disgrace that such things should be published. It is holding the profession up to contempt. She says: 'A witness mu9t expect to be brow-beaten and ridiculed,' "and 'scarcely a place where a modest vvotnau dreads to go more than the I'onrt room,' and 'it's only in their profession that they become insolent, abusive and bullying.' It's a shame. Who Is this womau, anyway? I'd like "True 'tis, 'tis pltv, and pity 'tis, 'tis trne," interrupted a young newspaper reporter.

A respectable lawyer—one of much experience, who until now had been silent, remarked with some warmth: "It is a shame that the profession mast be disgraced by such abuses. Such an article as that outs me to the quick, but it is deserved, and the only way to core the abuse is to bring public opinion to bear upon It. This woman has done the profession good service. The bummers and petifoggers will abuse her for it, but the better class of lawyers would write as sharply of these abuses as she or any other can, and will most heartily thank her if she r- help to bring about a reform, and rid the profession of a disgrace." ____________

A Woman's Opinions,

OLD MAIDS.

Those who attended the performance of "Hobbies," on last Saturday evening, are laughing yet at the recollection of Miss Euphemia Bangs. There certainly never was a more ridiculous caricature put upon the stage. In her role as a "fairy" we were mercifully permitted only a few brief glances, but it was as the love-sick damsel that she shone most conspicuously. She was, indeed, the typical old maid, the kind we read about, the sort that are held up as a warning to all young girls who show a tendency to coquetry and do not rush into matrimony at the first opportunity. The long neck, the sharp nose and chin, the corkscrew curls, the flat chest, the angular elbows, all corresponded with the popular notion of an old iid's physical appearance, while her anxiety to marry, her eager love-making and her silly conversation were strictly in accordance with the prevalent idea of an old maid's conduct upon all similar occasions. Everybody laughed, of course who could help it? But the question continually occurred to me,— from whence arose this oonoeption of a maiden lady's character? Did such creatures exist in those days when a woman's life was considered a failure unless she prefixed "Mrs." to her name Did they nsed to grieve over their forlorn condition till their plumpness changed into acute angles did they forget all the pretty graces of dress, and did their natural modesty and delicacy of character develop with the growing years into unwomanly boldness ?—for surely we do not find suoh beings nowadays. But wt)at has wrought the change in these so called old maids?

It has been my happy fortune to know many sweet and noble women and to form associations whoso tender memory will outlive estrangement, separation, even the grave, which buries in its depths all enmities and resentments, but leaves above It the delicate flowers of love and divine forgiveness. In re calling these friends to mind and remembering the lovable qualities which endeared them, among the dearest aud loveliest of all are those whom the world called "old maids." There was one, a graduate of several different colleges, and whose whole life had been spent in the companionship of literature. It was my delight to be permitted to paas an hour each day in her society, and after awhile to look over the contents of her portfolio, whose gems of poetry and proee she persistently refused to give to the public. She said she had such an absorbing love for study that she forgot all about marrying till she found herself in the thirties, and, although she had thought seriously upon the subject since then, she had never yet seen a man whoa she oould, for an instant, regard in the light of a husband and she was perfectly sincere in what aht said. Another, a thorough business woman, the guardian of several nephews and neioes, and owning a large amount of property herself, said, with a merry laugh, "Marry Well, yes, if I can ever find time, perhaps, I may, but I have never bad a moment's leisure to think about it." 1 never see the sun shining through the leave* of a silver maple, making fantastic shadows on the ground, without a vivid recollection of ^ie sick chamber o* one of the most interesting women I

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ever knew. She had refused several offers of marriage on account of ber health, which she always thought would improve until, at last, she was foroed to abandon hope. "And yet," she would say, "I might have married and been so happy for a little while." It was one of the delights of her fine, poetic nature to watch the wavering shadows of the silver maples as they fall upon the floor, but in a very short time she Lade them farewell and entered into the deeper shadow of death. When I remember all these, and many others, aud think of their lives,—some busy and active, others studious aud retiring, but each beautiful In its owu way—I feel that I cannot offer any tribute of praise and admiratlou which would be worthy of tholr acceptance.

What a contrast between their peaceful and serene existence and that of many married women who to escape the reproach of old-maidhood have burdened themselves with a worthless husband and a family of helpless children. During au intimate acquaintance with many women, who have outlived the freshness of youth, I have always noticed a singular innocenoe of heart and purity of mind. The majority of girls start out young in life to dress, to walk the streets, to flirt, to attract attention and, as a result of all this, they accomplish their object, which is to catoh a husband while a few shrink from publicity aud remain in the seclusion of home, waiting to be sought, and these, in many instances wait, like Tennyson's Mariana, for a man that "cometh not." It would be absurd to claim that all old maids are. happy, but there are just as many happy old maids, in proportion to their numbers, as there are married women. I believe most of these sonamed old maids would love to preside over a home, and enjoy the sweet privileges of motherhood, but unless they are sure of a good home and a kind husband they prefer to remain as they are, or, as one of them remarked to a pert young married sister who was referring rather sarcastically to the other's lonely condition, "If I bad not been any more particular in my choice than you have, I might have been married long ago."

The opprobrium attached to the name of "old maid" is fast dying out. She is yet spoken of ironically by married gentlemen, especially if she happened to have jilted them in the days gone by, and she is still the subject of malicious remarks by married ladies whose rival she was when both were young and oharming she will continue to be looked upon as a kind of a bug bear by silly young school girls, who cannot imagine an existence unless shared by a nice, young man, but she will not henceforth be expected, as she has been in the past, to be a sort of "convenience" for all the rest of the family, younger sisters, nephews and nieces, as a penance for not fulfilling her destiny by getting married. Why is it that this change is gradually taking place Is it because marriage is going out of fashion Not at all, but simply because an unmarried woman is no longer, of necessity, a burden upon her male relatives. If she is able to take care of herself it is nobody's business whether she marries or not. Now that an enlightened civilization has said to woman. The field Is open before you, go forth, toil and reap the harvest, the question of What shall we do with our surplus girls 1b solving itself. If an editor wants an assistant, if a merchant wants a book-keeper, if the schools want a teacher, they do not ask is she young, is she pretty, Is she married but on the contrary they say, Send us one who is competent, one who has reached years of discretion, and one who is not tied down to husband

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TERRE HAUTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, APRIL 19, 1879.

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family. I would not wish to be understood as advocating celibacy, for if a good man marries a good woman and their natures prove sympathetic it is the hsppiest state of exlstonoe in the world, but everybody is not fit to marry. We see this exemplified in the llvoa of so many of our eminent men and women whose married lives were so unhappy. They were wedded to art or literature or science and not to the individuals they married. Hypochondriacs should not marry, nor should those having a hereditary taint of the blood. I doubt If confirmed dyspeptics should enter into matrimony for they are miserable themselves and render everybody else so.

Persons with an uncontrollable temper should not ask the law to give them somebody to vent it upon. If marriage was decreed by Heaven, men must set aside the decreejor practice polygamy, for even if we include all the bad as well as the good, there are not enough men to give every woman a whole husband, and for this reason, if for no other, many women cannot marry. But for whatever cause, whether from cboioe or necessity, a woman remains unmarried, it is nothing to her discredit, and I rejoioe that there is no longer any obstacle to prevent her making out of her life just what she chooses, and she will find, as we all do sooner or later, that the surest way to be happy and contented is to have abundant and congenial occupation for hands, heart and brains.

KITCHEN SMITH.

Our former townsman Jerome Burnett, now In the Washington Treasury Department, does up in rhyme for the Indianapolis Herald an inoldent in the life of a noted Terre Haute tianerman. He says: -T".',-***'

He was a famous fl Jheiman, Onu or the undent wort, "s Baptized by name John Kitchen Smith,

But "Kltoheu" called fomhuri.

This Smith, Ilk* others of his kind, ^r: To marvels did aspire, Ha had a talented kind of way

Of playing on the lyre.

That la. sometimes he was inclined,

When trllldg what he'd eaughl,

To magnify hi* homely skill By adding oa a uaugnt.

Some very worthy men I 'v« known, Hellglousfrom their youth, a? Who, when the told ilielr fish exploits,

Wonld seldom tell the truth.

Once on a time Smith sallied out, A day In early spring. And in a run of splen-.id luck

He caught a nnmeious string.

So many that his twine gave oat And ero Ills luok did cease, Ho had a hundred strong and two

That weighed Ave pounds apleoe.

These last he fastened on a string He wok rrow out his shoe, Then went around a bend below

To gut his old canoe.

While thns engaged two men came by (WhenSmlthwasoutof sight), Whose fancy rig had not availed—

They hadn't had a bite.

They saw the two that Smith had placed With iutlous care aside, But failed to note the other string

That further up was tied. By lines and poles, and by a coat "j And flask that lay therewith, These man conoluded that the flsh

Belonged to Kitchen Smith. "This Smith, you know's a famous liar." Said one, his friend to warn, "And when you quiz him properly, ml

Will spin a wondrous yarn." When Smith returned and angler .said, "The ba8don't seem to bite But 1 suppose you've had good luck"—

Said .smith, you're mignty right!

I came down here before 'twas day To try for three or four, Aud snaked a hundred 'fore I quit

And might have caught some more.

The anglers smiled to hear him brag,, As he was wont to do To hear him claim a hundred fish,

When there were onlj two. *.T'

"Well, now,?ee here," saiaone, "wc want T« carry home a lot, We'll give you fifty ce its apiece

For every one you've got."

"I hardly know," said Smith, surprised "Your offer's pretty nice—" We mean It though, bring out your flsh,

We'll pay you down the price."

Smith slowly passed the string of two, As if engrossed In doubt, Then twined a bending bush aside

And pulled the hundred out 1

When Kitchen came *0 tea that night, In pride that wealth secures, He told his patient wife bis luck,^

And added, "naif Is your's." t?

Then Said the wife of Kitchen Smith, In words somewhat uncouth, "I always «aid 'twould fetch the most

To up and tell the truth

People and Things.

Out of 362 members of the present oongress, 241 are lawyers. The world is full of happiness for industrious people.—P. T. Barnum.

Hint to agricultural societies—'The early fair catches the President.—Ex. An Iowa paper tells of a boy who "don't know enough to pound sand."

The negroes are exodusting. The New York Herald coins the latter word. Have you thought that the Talmage church trial is the most curious on record? There is not a woman in the case.—Ex

It remains to be seen whether the game laws of Kentuoky prohibit the shooting of judges during any portion of the year.

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It is sometimes pretty hard to decide which gives us more pleasure, to bear ourselves praised or to bear our neighbor run down.

Wheeling Lodger: The boy who can look you square in the face and lie without flinching, is sure to^ make bis mark as a politician.

The parent who Beads his son into the world uneducated, defrauds the community of a lawful citisen, and bequeaths to it a nuisanoe.

A man's curiosity never reaches the female standard until some one tells him his name appeared in yesterday's paper.—Naw York San.

Bob Ingersoll exercises his pagan virtues by giving 91,000 to the negroes who are leaving the South. Tet he doesn't believe in a hell.

A sociable man Is described as one who, when he has ten minutes to spare, goes and bothers somebody who hasn't. Suoh sociability is simply robbery. "I have got so in the habit of being married by an Episcopal clergyman that I really dont feel satisfied with any other kind," said a Chicago widower.

With all the boasted ingenuity of the Yankee nation showmen have to send at a great expense all the material for their tents to France to be made waterproof.

Six candidates for the Methodist ministry were last week asked in the Conference, at Hartford, whether they used tobacco. They all replied that they did not. Thereupon the Bishop ejaculated, "Thank God." A hearty amen resounded from the Conference.

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11Andrew Jones, of Chester, Pa., argued with Lizzie W«lsh from 6 p. m. until midnight in a vain endeavor to convince her that it would be well for her to marry blm. Then he committed suicide, and the girl says that if she had known be was so deelpy in earnest she would have accepted bim.

At a loan exhibition last week in Albany, N. Y., a bundreO-year-old umbrella was one of the curiosities jibown. And, strange to say, for filty years it had been the property of one owner. This is bard to believe of the umbrella, but that so muni) honesty should bo found in Albany beats everything

Comfort, Silence and Patience were the names of a brotaer and twomswrs in a New England village. A gentleman called to see Comfort. His sire said "He is not at home, but if you will sit down with Patience and wait with Silence, Comfort will come soon." Silonce died the other day at the age of 80.

The Rev. Dr. David Swing has a telephone leading from his study, with various branches to the houses of intimate friends and parishioners. He does much of his pastoral visiting with the aid of this apparatus. The only care required is in arranging the switch board so as to send his message to the party for whom it is intended.

The Greeks characterized human follies and absurdities by such phrases as "he plows the air "he is making clothes for fishes "he catches the wind with a net "he roasts snow in a furnace "he holds a looking glass to a mole

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"he Is teaching iron to swim

"he seeks wool on the ass "he washes the Ethiopian." 1 & it English newspapers very rarely contain in the obituary column a notice of a funeral, because, except in the case of eminent public person, it is not desired that any but near relatives or very intimate friends should attend, and men worth a million to go to their graves with less pomp and parade than a New York car driver.

A Delaware county lawyer employed by a lady to collect an account, wrote to the debtor and secured the amount. But he made no report, and when a demand was made upon bim, replied that the whole amount was fid less than bis usual charge in such cases, but as bis client wan a woman he would call it square.—N. Y. Times.

The National Baptist says of a faithful deacon: "Aroused by the cry of fire, be dressed himself in order to render assistance but, in the act of putting on his boots, be died. Few Christian men have been more consecrated." In Leadville, one of the highest compliments that can be paid to the memory of a deceased person is to say that "he died with his boots on."

A Nevada surgeon is in trouble through trying to improve a woman's nose. She had broken it when a child, and the mishap had left it in a slightly crooked condition. The surgeon bargained to straighten it, and attempted to do so, by breaking it anew. The operation left the nose in a worse shape than it was before.. The woman sues for 110,000 damages. 7/*^*

Hand out your well filled case with the remark, "have a cigar?" and every man present will tumble to it with alacrity rivaling the celerity of Captain Crockett's coon. And produce a pickle in a roomful of young ladies and tbeir hearts will go out to it in one tumultuous throb, their rosy mouths will moisten, aud with hand extended, each will pronounce the shibboleth, "Ob, my!" Thev always do.

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Feminitems

Little Mrs. Tom Thumb remains in deepest mourning for her sister, Minnie Warren.

Anthony Trollope says that he never knew a nice woman who did not,think it proper to look up to her husband and be governed by him.

Always add a line or two on the margin of a letter to a lady. You can't imsgine how much satisfaction a woman obtains in turning a letter upside down to read a postscript.

It has been stated by one who pretends to be a reliable source, that at the present moment, in Europe, 300 pianists and 509 vocalists, all American girls, are being prepared for an early debut in their own country.

An impromptu mock auction sale of women was amusing and profitable, at first, in a Bacine, Wisconsin, churob fair. The young men bid liberally for the attractive girls, and it was all very funny indeed until the ugly but influential sister was put up. The auctioneer was compelled to knock ber down at 23 cents, and she was so angry that she put on her things and went home*

The fashion of blending or mixing two, and sometimes three, materials in one eostume has proved so convenient that ladies hesitate to abandon it. The style is invaluable in the case of half-

Ninth Year

worn dresses, and a perpetual novelty of arrangement is one of its compensations. This season the colors used in conjunction with each other are unlike those previously selected olive blends with pale ecru, robin's-egg blue with maroon, gendarm blue with lighter blue, and also figured black, and white, old gold with rush and grayish green, and tan color with black, or dark seal brown. Very few plain black silks are made this spring, the style being to combine tbem wi|£ brocaded or striped silk.

WHAT FOPS WILL WEAR. ^ndianapolis Herald. Swells will affect checks as much as usual.

Colored hosiery will supercede all other styles. The* "only correct "blue" tor nw^wea" Is very pale.

Gray diagonals for coats and pants* loons will be worn by very drefcsy men. Very fashionable fellahs, ah, will wear their vests gut very long and "awfully high..

The "slowcoaches," the conservatives, you know," will not go to either extreme.

Large plaids and stripes will be relegated to out and out gamblers and confessed sports.

The "splendid swells" will wear colored shirts for business and "spotless white" for evening.

Scarf pins and cuff buttons will run to desiges in archery as well as piscatorial models. Arrows, hooks, fishing reels, etc., will prevail.

We rejoice to learn that pantaloons aro "cut to trace the form of the leg." That is muoh better than to have tbem trace the form of the arms or ears.

Single breasted sacks are made to button high, with slightly rouuded skirts and corners. Youths who like to be spoken of as "nobby" will affect them.

The single breasted cutaway coat, with lappels rolling low, is said to have tbe effect of reducing the size of men hence we may expect to see them much worn by the thin and shadowy.

The A. A. G. (Assistant Adjutant General) is the latest thing in standing collars. It buttons close at tbe throat and is of medium height. An anxious coontry will be relieved to learn that the tide has at last turned in faver of turn down collars.

Rough Scotoh cheviots will be greatly in favor for traveling suits, and traveling, especially toward the west, will be Immensely popular. The four button cutaway coat will be the correct thing in cheviot, It must be very short, and will give to even a superannuated clergyman the air of a rising horse jockey.

A cutaway coat, with one button over tbe breast, showing tbe vest almost entirelv, will be in high favor with some gentlemen, particularly with those who are beautifully rotund. They show off tbe slopes of tbe abdomen to great advantage. Tbe vests which accompany these will be cut high and without cellars, convenient to pull down.

For street wear tbe correct thing in gloves is a two buttoned kid or dog skin, with stitched back in self colors. One button gloves are entirely discarded by fellows who have any "style" about tbem. Yellow, tbe fool's own color, will be in high favor for very fashionable nails. For full dress, tints as well as wbite may be worn, while the backs must always be plain.

TWO WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS. Two boys went to hnnt grapes. One was happy because tbey found grapes. Tbe other was unhappy because the grapes had seeds in them.

Two men, being convalescent, were asked bow they were. One said "I am better to-day." Tbe other said: "I was worse yesterday."

When it rains one man says: "This will make mud." Another: "This will lay tbe dust."

Two boys examining a bush, one observed that that it had a thorn. The other that it bad a rose.

Two children looking through colored glasses, one said "The world Is blue." And the other said "It Is bright."

Two boys eating tbeir dinner, one said "1 would rather have something better than this." The other said "This is better than nothing."

Two men went to see New York. One visited the saloons, and thought New York wicked. The other visited the homes, and thought New York good.

Two boys looking at some skaters, one said "See how they glide." Tbe other said "See bow tbey fall."

Two strangers to our world were offered refreshments. One took beer, and the other mead. The first said the world is bitter. The other that it is sweet.

A servant thinks a man's bouse is principally kitchen. A guest that it is principally parlor.

Two boys having a bee, one got honey aud the other got stung Tbe first called it a honey bee and tbe other, a stinging bee. "I am glad," says one. "that it is so worse." "I am sorry," says another, "that It is no better."

One man counts everything that hg has again. Another oounts everything else that he conceives a loss.

One man spoils a good repast by thinking of a better repast of another. Another enjoys a poor repast by contrasting it with none at all.

Sitting down to tbe same table, ene man can make bis mfeal off pickles and another off sweetmeats.

In drinking lemonade, you may detect only tbe sweet or only the sour. One man is thankful for his blessings. Another is morose for bis misfortunes.

One man thinks he is entitled to a better world, and is dissatisfied because he hasn't got it. Another thinks he is not justly entitled to any, and is satisfied with this.

One man enjoys what be has. Another suffers what he has not. One man makes uo bis aocounts from bis wants. Another from bis assets.

One man complains that there is evil in tbe world. Another rejoices that there is good in the'world. f-

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