Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 9, Number 26, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 28 December 1878 — Page 1

Vol. 9.—No. 26.

THE MAIL

A

PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.

SECOND EDITION.

Town-Talk.

HOW MUCH?

How much? That is the question. Next Wednesday all hands will be scattering wishes for a "Happy New Year" as abundantly ss the trees, a few weeks sinoe, scattered their leaves, or as the clouds, a few days since, scattered the snow flake*. She leaves were beautiful, many of them, as tbey fell, bnt they made an awful litter, and the wind drove thetu into the corners, and, except the few that are laid about the 10 ts of some choice plants, or pat into the compost heap, they are all gone. The history of the snow flakes Is much the same. Beautiful, as thay-oooie down, but soon trodden into the mud, and ere long all gone. These good, wishes which will fall so abundantly in a day or two, will, in another day or two, la most instanoes, vanish like the leaves and the snow. They do not come to stay. They do not mean anything. Hence the question with which T. T. started. How much do you wish these people a Happy New Year? The value of a wish lies in what is behind It, what he wh? utters it is willing to do to make the wish to become a reality. Smith wakes bis wife in the

morning

to wish her a Happy New

Year. Possibly some

One

may hint that

timlth would have Aown the sincerity of bis wish by waiting tlLl she had finished her nap. But, Smith, what are you wllllug to do this year, to realize your own wishf Will you try to be more patient when things don't go exaotly to suit you Will you lend a helping hand with the children any oftener when she is siek and tired Will you quit drinkjngf Will you deny yourself for her comfort and pleasure as' maoh as you expect her to deny heraelf for your comfort? How muoh do you wish her, and the reet of the family, and the other people whose bands you will shake so cordially on Wednesday, a Happy New Year? How much? So muoh as will make them happy, If any effort or sacritlce on your part can doso, or onlv so muoh as will not, in the least Interfere with your own 00mfort? And vice versa Mrs. Smith

And my boy or girl—mine because you read what T. T. writes, for he, wr soul, cannot c.*ll boy or girl bis in a../ other sense, o*id bachelor that muoh do yop wish the oW people, and the brothers and sisters in the family, and other folk*, a Hf&py New Year Enough to try -hard to make them happy? Aye, Jim, you ate a young man, aud rather manly in you& appearanoe, and as yotfklss your rnotW New Years morning, and give her flie compliments of the season, yeuxlook and tone seem toladioate Utat you mean what you say. put, Jim, yoa know that mother would be ouedftftetooat wretched women in Torre Haute if she knew •where and how yoa spent th*night before New Years, or the night atte^«U, or some other, possibly many other Bights. Do yon simply oare enough fbr a happy new year for herk to prompt you to keep from ber.atl knowledge of your wrong courses, or do you oare enough for her happiness, to say nothing of yew own welfare, to quit these oourses, and, for her sake, be a man The devil must laugh at these insipid, sweet scented, good wishes which fall from the lips of thoee who are doing their very best, or worst, to make wretched thoee upon whom they showet their wishes. There was no more bitter saroaum on the part of the old inquisitor who said to his viotim, in blandest tones, "Allow me to lay you to Mil on this feed of spike#, and may yourfdreams be pleasant," than in the Happy^New Year whloh many of our Terrs Haute boys.wlirgive their mother*^ud fathers.

Mr. Smith bow atahb do you wiati Mrs. Smith aJiappy Sow Year? IHtto Mrs. Smith? Ho^r,mycJi, Jlqs,, J^ck, Molly and She, do you wish each other and the old folks a Happy New Year? How much, .you, 914 memhati^ a*4 young merchant, you Wnk officer and manufacturer, do you wish your clerks and laborers aJJttappy^NewjYear? 80 mot*) a* will not interfere with ypur

ll§

own oonvenlenoe or profits, or more? How much,* Mr. Clerk, Bookkeeper, "Workingman," do you wish the Boss a Happy New Year? Enough to get what you caa out of him, or enough to help him as faithfully as you'would like bim to help you? How much, ydu people in comfortable houses, and are well fed, do you wish a Happy New Year to thoee who are ill housed and ill fed How much do you who are leading virtuous and contented lives wish a Happy New Year to those who are fooled into thinking that they can be happy in vice, and are miserable? Enough to wish they were better and happier, or enough to lend a helping hand in making them so? When the New Year comes, T. T. would suggest that there be some honest effort, before lavishing the good wishes of the season, to settle the question, How much?

NEW RARS C4UA ?D

Were made last year with very little temptation to drink. There has been a very decided advance in publio sentiment witbin a few years in reference to offering liquor on New Years day. T. T. trusts there will be no backward step this year. It is a shame to any man or woman to offer intoxicating liquors to their callers on this day. The caller who drinks at one place must drink at all places, and though he sips but little at each place, the amount and the mixture will send bim home drunk. Time was when wcmen here mixed their liquors on purpose to make as many drunk as possible. And some of these have paid the penalty in seeing their own husbands become drunkards, and others their own sons. Happily these days are passed, and the day is coming when the offering of any sort of Intoxicating drink on New Years will disgraoe those who do so, as it ought. Let all decent people unite in denouncing this dying custom, and thus hasten its death.

MORE GRIT

Should be put into the good resolutions this year than heretofore. These are not to be avoided because those made in the past have failed. There certainly Is no hope of amendment unless there be resolutions to amend, and therefore the wise course is to renew the resolutions with more grit than ever. T. T. does not mean with more formality, or more loud assertion, but with a firmer purpose to keep the resolution. The fact that the good ones of years gone by have been broken is proof positive that the case is getting desperate. It is time to be up and at these bad habits with a will that they cannot conquer, else veiy »xn they'll have the complete victory. "SLUG SEVEN" 5^ "Pays his respects to T. T." on the temperance question, in a style quite common among a certain class of men who think misrepresentation and mean inainnations and bard names are arguments. It Is possible T. T. has not done so muoh for the muse of temperance as "Slug Seven." It is also barely posstble that T. T. was a veteran in the cause when "Slug Seven" was a puling infan^ He don't know what T. T. has done, except in this oolumn, and this entire community knows that this oolumn haf always been openly and strongly on ttiji side of temperance, every temperanqff movement, whether political, moral, a§ religious, which this clfy has seen sinoft The Mail came into being. '8tug Seven* Mouses T. T.of "casting a besetmgtit upon temperance people" by assuming that nine-tenths of those who have signed the pledge have broken it. If it were true that T. T. had insulted these people, "Slug ^evan" is not the man to resent the itisdlt, for He admits that he has broken the pledge which he took in his youth.. He uqt insulted. T. T. tolfl'ilfe trfetb so 6ar as "Slug Seven" Is concerned. He says, also, that "T. T. argues that because many break the pledge, therefore no ooe should take lit." T.T. argued no such thing, and this assertion of "Slug Seven" indicates either a very careless reading of T. T.'s article, or that breaking his temperance pledge is not the only violation of truth in which he indulges. The fling in the last sentence at Mr. Bacon's "aristocratic congregation" is characteristic of just such men as "Slug Seven," men who Jh temperance tolerate no difference of opinion or practice without assuming that those who differ from them are actuated by base motives, and In religion are so bigotted that all cburobes but their own, especially all that have members whom they want in their own, are "aristocratic," or bad In some other respect. Now these matters, which "Slug Seven" lugged Into his article, have nothing to do with the real Issue. He

I was much impressed with Town Talk's suggestion that we purchase presents for our friends during the year and thus avoid the rush and worry just at Christmas time, but it seems there might be this objection, if our friends very muoh desired certain articles tbey would probably find means to get them without waiting till Christmas, and thus make our gift superfluous and another is that during the Holidays we have the latest novelties, and an infinite variety from which to seleot, and we see things so muoh prettier than those bought six months ago that we cannot help feeling dissatisfied with onr purchase to say nothing of the delightful sensation one experiences, running around from store, meeting acquaintances with armsfull of presents, and all enveloped in such a delicious air of mystery and importance.

One of the sweetest pictures on earth is a child with .a doll not one of those children who punch out the doll's eyes and drag it around by the arm but one whose little heart is filled with motherly tenderness, and who loves her baby as well as her mamma loves her to see the good night kisses impressed upon its waxen lips to hear the pretty lullaby, "Lie down little dolly quite still in my lap," and then watch how tenderly the blankets are tucked about the tiny feet. It is funny to notioe how severely her dollBhip will be spanked and then how passionately kissed,—so like a real mamma does,—and if the little lady flies into a fit of anger and calls her refractory offspring some unbecoming name, pause, oh listening mother, and consider where she learned suoh language!

Another pretty sight is a cat with her kittens. I watched one for days, and it was surprising to observe the maternal solicitude. When the kittens cried, the mother hastened to their bed and soothed them to sleep with a soft, purring song, thatwould make anybody drowsy, and after her babies slept she would caress them with the utmost gentleness then going into the sunshine she would stretch herself out for awhile, and then Bteal softly back to see if her little ones were still asleep. When a well meaning but thoughtless urchin threw a potato into the box and killed one of the kittens, I expected to see the mother overwhelmed with grief, but, strange to say, she shoved it aside without any emotion Whatever, and continued her devotion toward those who remained. A philosophical proceeding, certainly, but not Just what one might anticipate. It has always seemed strange that not one animal of the male species ever manifests any affection for its young. Little boys rarely ever care for dolls, and when they do, their love is shown in the most awkward manner. Once in a great while a man is found who Bhares with his wife the care of the children, but generally the father Is willing to play with the baby a few moments while its face is wreathed in dimples and smiles, but at the first premonition of a cry, he exolaims to the mother, "Here, take this child. I have an engagement down town." The labor is her portion, but so is the love, for the first plaoe in the heart of every child is sacred to the mother's image.

The weather (a subject selected for its novelty) occupies a prominent place in our ideas of certain days.

I

"I sdinlt that many break the pledge. I admit that many have taken it without attaching due Importance to it, or even with a definite Intention of keeping it. I admit that many boys who take the pledge forget all about it."

T.T. thinks that these admitted facta demand that in behalf of truthfulness there should he greater cantion used in presenting andpflssslog the temporal pledge. "Slug Seven" does not think so, and insinuates that because T. T,sa thinks, he is no real friend of teaper-

TBT to be a little better the coming veer than last year.

1

"''"'I' "'J .3

W'

New Year'a ought to he oold and bracing, but bright and sunny. The first to give us energy and strength for good resolutions the seoond as a token that the coming year is to be unclouded and sunshiny. Decoration Day is pictured in our imagination as soft and balmy, filled with the perfume of roses and suggestive of hope, tinged with sadness. Fourth of July must be hot as patriotism, biasing like a bunch of mammoth fire-crackers. Thanksgiving Day brings visions of frost, and sighing winds and sunshine breaking through the clouds with a kindly smile. And who can think of Christmas except clothed in snowy robes and musical with jingling slefebbells and merry laughter.

Speaking of sleighing, what a diversity of opinion exists in regard to thtaexhilarating pastime. Some people are so fond of It that tbey will drive "through the streets In a dry goo&i box on runMrs, hut put this same box on wheels and nothing would induce them to enter it. Young folks w^U drjve.nround till midnight, with freezing feet, tingling ears and "haltering teeth, bnt stiU tbey enjoy it hugely, judging by the noiss ibey mak*. A jolly married lady was heard to remark a few days ago that she wouldn't go alsighriding iX the handsomes* fallow in town would promise to hug her all the 1 That lady, In

TERRE HAUTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, DECEMBER 28,1878.

A Woman's Opinions*

1

EXPIRING THOUGHTS ON CHRISTMAS. After all we do not really enjoy onr gifts till Christmas day, with its gayetles, and excitement, and bountiful refreshments and consequent headaches, has passed away then, every time we clasp the bracelet, or sink into the luxurious chair, or dieam over the pages of the long wished for book, sweet thoughts of the giver fill our hearts, and we grow more grateful with every passing day,

all probability, knew some of the attractions of sleighing, but it Is a peculiarity of married life that it destroys many of youth'a illusions, and subjects that used to be mentioned only with bewitchinglng blushes are now turned fnto jest and ridicule. On a cold winter night these married folks would prefers good bsse-burner to the most charming member of the other sex warm feet are more desirable than warm hearts, and a good turkey dinner discounts a bushel of kisses. They will relentlessly shot out the moonlight upon retiring at night lest the sunlight coming through that same window should disturb tbeir morning nap. Indeed there is danger leat the prosaic routine of dally cares and anxieties drive out from our lives all sentiment, rooting up the dewy flowers and leaving only a vegetable garden. But the youths and maidens still grow up around us, still hang over the gate and gaze at the stars, and then look unutterable .things into the eyes of the loved one still longer over the parting words, vows of constancy and pledges of eternal love still does the girl go up to her room, and kneeling in the moonlight, touoh her lips to the hands his lips have pressed, repeat softly his tender phrases, and at last fail asleep to dream she is in Heaven and he is her Qod. Still doe* the young man strike a match on the nearest lamp post, light his cigar and make a straight line for the first billiard room, and, when he goes to bed with a dreadful headaobe, it is to be hoped no thoughts of the pure girl he left at the gate, enter his clouded mind.

Speaking of married people brings to my mind an article which appeared a few weeks ago in defense of Married Flirts. Is there any class of people so low that they cannot^find some one to plead their cause? I do not know who F. E. M. is, but if she would add A. L. E. to her name I weuld be sure it was a woman. I agree with all she says about the naughty men, but there area few points I beg leave to notice, although, as she says, what she writes "is the actual lire-time experience of one wh'o knows why someparried ladies flirtperhaps I ought not take exceptions, for lessons which are the result of experience are generally pretty well learned. She clsims that when married women flirt it is beoause they are ^neglected by their husband#, who go off and leave the wife "weary and weak, tired and worn." Many men do that very same mean thing, but when a woman is "wesry and weak, tried and worn," depend upon it she will go to bed and not trouble herself about flirting. It is not the overworked, neglected women who flirt but it is those who are idle, fashionable, dressy and worldly-minded, generally women without children, proving the old adage tbat^ "Satan still some mischief finds, for idle hsnds to do." Because a woman has a heartless, neglectful husband is no reason why she should lavish her tenderness upon some other man just as mean. I don't like to hear a woman say, "My husband does not do right, therefore I will do wrong," for she always gets so muoh the worst of it. This is all 1 wished to ssy, thst if a woman makes that as an excuse, there will be no limit to the Married Lady Flirts.

P. S.—There was a young person who asked me to read this article to him. This young person was related to me, which gave him the privilege of saying whatever dissgreeable things he ohose. After I finished he said if anybody could stand it to meander through the first half of what I had written, the last half wasn't so bad. I told him that while I was writing the first twentyeight lines I had to stop ten times, to receive callers, order groceries, settle a children's quarrel, Interview a tramp and attend to several other matters. He said, "Yes, he thought so, and, every time, I forgot where I left off and begun on anew topic." He also asked ms if I didn't drink too much oggnog yesterday, and if my mind was a little wandering. I put this in to show the flippancy of the rising generation and how little respect they have for age. I hope some intelligent individuals will write this subject up ss I don't feel equal to the occasion myself, after being so snubbed, ss It were.

THE Champaign, Ills,, Queette oomes to us this week, twelve psges in stee, printed on rose tinted paper, profanely illustrated with holiday pictures, and filled with the advertising of the sessou Mr. Scroggs Is a wide-awake publisher and prints oneof the best countiy papers in Illinois.

A Totmo man giving Ms name as Bramblett, or a name sounding like that, is canvassing neighboring Illinois counties for subscription* to The MaiL He is an Impostor. We have no travel ing sgents.

THE Shoaff Brothers dressed their Paris Oasette this week in neat holiday atUre, with reading matter and illustrations appropriate to Christmas, showing commendable enterprise.

As neat a holiday paper sshssrsabbed

us

is that gem of a society journal "Every Saturday," of Buffalo. Its psges are filled with Christmas good thing*.

•*3.!

EDISON OUTDONE!

ORE AT LABOR-8AVINO INVENTION! upturn -*t AUTOMATIC URCHIN-CHASTISER, lei* A WITH BASE-BURNER, BREECH-LOADING

AND STERN-WHEEL MOVEMENTS

Jrivention of Oeo. W. Peck, of the Milwaukee Sim. jy

is an age of invention,^ and t^ere

is no knowing what a day may bring forth. Prominent educators have for years racked their brains, and consumed midnight oil to devise some method whereby the youthful student, the urchin with thick soled pantaloons, could be ohastised as the gravity of his offense might demand, without inflicting a more severe punishment upon the lady teacher's hand than upon the child. Previous to the invention of the machine, principals of sobools have wept to see their assistants go around with their arms in a sling from the effeots of punishing scholars. In many instanoes excellent teachers, who loved their calling, have been compelled to resign their positions, and get married, because they bad too muoh on their bands. The matter hss been discussed st the vsrious Institutes, and it had been almost decided to adopt capital punishment, instead of the time honored taking across the knee* when the inventor of this machine stepped in, and, by the simple device above illustrated, has saved the lives of many valuable young ones. The heart of the inventor was touched st seeing frail schoolma'am, with her right hand swelled up to the size of a canvas ham, from agitating a boy who had wickedly placed apieoe of clapboard inside of his trowserloons, when he knew that the teacher was on the war path after him. He was a bad boy, and will probably fetch up in Congress. The teacher was weeping, and saying the would be ouased if she didn't run that boy through a threshing 'machine before she got through with him. The idea at once struck the inventor that a machine could be constructed that would tan the jacket, as it were, of the young Modoc, and you see the result of careful thought and study in the machine before you.

AS A SPANKINO MACHINE

What a change. Instesd of dresding the task of punishing scholars, and shivering at the proepeot of blistered hsnds, the teacher can enjoy the performance, and look forward to the hour for doing up the day's spanking with a feeling of pleasure and gladness, and the frown formerly stereotyped on the face of the, average schoolma'am gives place to an angelic smile. She seats herself at the, instrument, With a dime novel In her hand, after pladng the condemned urchins in a row within reach of the hoisting apparatus, or Ice tongs, she Bmlles, touches the snatch-brake with her foot, and the doomed urchin is launched into—if not eternity, he will think so before that hand lets up on him. With a smile playing over her features she works her tiny hoof and the avenging band descends, the boy says his "now I lay me." and the old machine works as though endowed with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. (Care should be tsken not to work the mschine too rapidly at first, as it may make it hot—for the boy. Or It might telescope his spinal meningitis, with fatal results. Any teacher can work it all right after perchance kUllngafew scholars of the cheaper kind.) It will only tske a moment of treading to make any ordinary boy sorry be enlisted, when ho can be dropped *nd the next can be snatched. A whole school can be spanked in fifteen minutes if the speaker is anything of a treader. We make different aised machines, suitable for the primary department, the Intermediate, the High School, the Normal School ana the State University.

AS A SBUMIAKKR.

The ease .with which thiamsehioecan be changed from one thing to another will convince the reader that it is almost human. Jt will remind one of a politician every time it changes. To change it from a spanking machine to aeeif-raker, all you have to do is to unscrew the "hand," remove ik and screw oa a Hue comb, change ends with the boy, and proceed to search for ttyraU»t Use*

Ninth Year

team

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exterminate the exchange fiend, the* man who steals exobanges when- youare busy writing. Theeaitox can have a maobfne sitting in bis office. In place of the hand of Providence, we screw on acast iron fist, weighing 700 pounds. If you desire to simply malm ,tfre fiend forlife, yoc work the treadle qaildly. and^ merely mash his eye out, and italicize/ bis nose and break his jaw bone. Butt' if he Is an old offender, and you want to' make an example of him, you keep' treading, and the pile driver will come down on him like a President on a Postmaster, and break every bone in hIs?* bodv, and flatten him as Uiin eft one of Colfax's vindications. qin 1 .4 AS A HASH COTTER.

1

To transform the maobfne into a hash1 cutter, it is only necessity to unjelntthe hsnd, and put in Its place an ordinary chopping knife, and set the machine to rannlng. (Of course it 'fs understood that the boy should be removed and a piece of beef hoisted in'its pliote, unless you are fond of bey basb.) We have testimonials from some of the best hotels in the State, where ofit mabhlne has been used as a bash cutter, and they all1 unite in pronouncing the most successful aid to the dissemination of meat' that hss lost its ebsrm for boarders that' they every saw. Only one accident has occurred thus for. At a Madison hotel,:, the proprietor had beed-chastising onek of the dining room girls with the ma-' chine, and stepped out to see a man, leaving the girl noistad dn the loe tongs, fv The cook took theroaeblne to cot some^ meat for hash, and1 forgtit tb take the girl down, and she was'-etft finer than mustard seed. One of the boarders was" the first to disooVet the tragedy. He got a piece of eanfatyon his plate, end immediately gave the alarm, but it was* too late. Toe funeral was' largely at-t tended. These accidents need not oocur if the manipulator of the machine usee* ordlnsry caution.

There is no end to the. differed uses to whioh the mschine can be put. Anything that requires a 'stitfflg horizontal motion,- can be done-better by machinery, and this mschine will fill ajwitf long felt. But it is ss an urohfn ches-. ttser thst Its princtpfc! merit lies, and in which its owner expects to smSsi a for-' tuna. It is not only in tbesohool room that the machine oan be utilised, but-ki. the family. Any fismily that,hss thirty-f five or forty ohlldvenoen makeajma-' obine pay for itsetf ins year,.and: thef work can be done muoh more saUefae-t torily. Where families are smaller, several oan club together and ownone.ins partnership, ana some one oan lie ap-t

Kod.

in ted to ohsstlse a whole neigh bo*-r The Invention of this maohlna opens afield for the unemployed by which tbey can make a geod living* Thoee female book agente can buy a ma-t chine and mount it on a wheelbarrow,* aud go about from bouse to bouse* doing? jobs that any mother would .B MI TOR pay a quarter to get oft bet jiaftds.-* George W. Peck, in MJUwaufcee (It was the intentloh of the publisher' of The Mail to oflfer fchefibove ddbdrlffedj very useful machlpe

anduwve, aod have aJw&gTaad Mto take all Wert* Ute It through, thef bova' heat&k This will tend to salleee ProblWh of IJfe »roeespd traptfcftd out% of tlfo toom, keeping "hi* «|ce wrfl before1 bim, and fooking SeitW s* tile right! nor to tbfe left. Tbettt^tamtof board eni folded'their' najAflnsifld silently* stole sway. I* waf noticed that the

boys' mothers of much searching iavesttattkm» ss ths school teacher, can,

tgr

sfm-

using her foot, keep the heads of all children free from the festive bug, that At times makss Ills a bunisn.

AS AN EDITORIAL PROT*DTOREvery editor In thelfctHI WIll thank us, on his beaded kneee, for this invention, as it solves a problem that hae disturbed the minds of the knights of tbesetseors for many generation*, via.-: How to

$9

a ci#uv if^

mium to this paper, but a lettsefrom th% inventor informs us thit' H'is

1

1

utterlyi

impossible fbi'MAi to fill exlAttiig oott-| tracts, and thus we arp deprived, fox ih*r present of the benefit^ whieh. might bet!

only temporary.)—EDM^iiy,)n

THE "PRQBLEM OF THE BAND HOTEL, W 9-

••Ind. Herald,

Tbefi'wfe* krest excftemefil lid "the. Grand hotel dining room oh Tuesdayf evening. Thepdore, Tllton WMcalmly-, eating nirf supper at one end of the dfn-a ing room, when a rumor floated about' that Bessie Turner, whq is here playing in "A Celebrated Case," sat ItuUng bim a» few tables awayl' T»e waiters Tiardly knew whetherJbeywwerem footoroflf horseback, so great was tbeir interest* The regular boarders gave tbeir enure#' attention to the sltdtfifon. and the tran-r stents were iBWt time tia# attention. ExdMrfierft rose to its high-? est pitch when tb**gfent dt the "Ctole-* brated Case" teeMhfMI flow* the difilrt* room, and pfoefeUttAl Mir *rtlton wttFL tickets to the eVetifftg'r performance.? Every aofcl lingered see the two ceT#-| brities out. WnUt would they dot* Would tbey speak fo 6a4h other* TTIUm, would beconmelled Wpesfc Beerfef tk-, ble if be left tbe room first. How would .J it end, anyway* Fthaliy It parent that eviry tme In the dhftngr room intended to Bngenin« one or* both the celebrities departed. The w«t-' ers who were-ebllged go to the kitchen from time to time foirlj» flew. They were scarcely absent a seoond. At last, When a!V (h* boarders bed aboutp made* up their foinds that it would?

Problem sAt lb "ledfefifttf gfifldetfr in a box at the p*ay tBat evening.

It Is no longer regarded ss «p absolute nee.oasity of fashion, that gloves should match the costumes.