Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 8, Number 26, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 22 December 1877 — Page 12

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There is a hendu not give milk.

Do hens give milk? No bena r» Y~ Hens lay e»ja. ,, ,|

Ol., HH—T

I'm going to school ,•. Hee my new slatel I mai-t harry along.

Don't waul to bo late.

I've'got anew cap. TTi*t big, warm and nice I*, The girl

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'UJ am growing quite fast. Will i«H)n be a man. Muxt now Ntody my lessons

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Can the boy suck the hen's e#g»? Oh. no, tb«^ boy can not Huck the hen's egg it is a bad egg

GOING TO SCHOOL*.

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my l"'at#

In called Jenny Crysls. Slf &£%$* I like little Jenny,

And Jenny like* me. 'W#}' Course we're as happy.,, A we ever can Iw. •c «.t 1J'» **5Cgi«» W

I ntndr my lessons. »4ifan read, write i-ni "peTI, The tcaclwr fold fsther

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I wao doing quite well ,•

'stf- 1

A* hard a* 1 can. ,t 4 w.

Don't want to grow up'1 ,, A dunoe or a fool, 80 IM1 learn all my lessons „,,}

While going to school. -«i

A Word on E*rty Rising.

A* we are writing this article before breakfast, at an earlier hour than usnal, we are inclined to become grand and intolerant on the strength of onr virtue, and to look around us, and nay: "Why is not evcrylxxl.Y »p? How am people lie in bed at an hour like this—'the oool, the fraav,- .-:k mntj *-,««* grant ,, Wfr* ... uJW

VPnlwly 1nxnr^oa^ will not man awakvf Thus esclnimed good nakared. enjoying Thomson, and lay in bed till twelve after which he strolled into bis garden at Uivbtnond, aitd ate peaches off a lire with his bands in his waistcoat pockets! Browsing 11 A perfect specimen of a pooticai elephant 01 rhinoceros! Thomson, however, loft an, immotal book behind him. which excused' his trespasses. What ex ruse, »ha!l mortality bring for hastening its end by ly»»lt bed, and anticipating the grave? for, of aH apparent!? innocenl habits, lying in bed is perhaps the worst while, on the other hand, amidst all the different habits tbrou^b which people have attained to along life, it is itaid that in this one wspect, and this only, they have all agreed—up very lowlived man has been a late riser I Jodge Holt is said to have been carious reapect-j Ing longevity, and to have questioned every! vttrv old man that came before him, a» Uv his modes of living and in the aukthf of early rising there was no variation every

's Tbere is a nice dog. 'Ilia* llie uog ^harp teeVh? Oh, yea. the dog has sharp teeth.

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one of them got up betimes. One lived chiefly upon meat, another upon vegetable* one drank no fermented liquor^ another did drink them a fifth took, care not to expose himwlf to ihe we»ther, another took no: such can- but evwy mouth of Kancho Panza. one of 1 them was an early riser. All the ruin of soine of them, made their appearance at Nature's earliest levee and she wm pleased that they hailed her as soon as she awnked, and that they valued her fresh air, and valued her skies, and her birds, and fiei* balmy quiet or, if they thought little of this, she was pleased that they took the first step in life, every day. calculated to make them happiest and most healthy and so she laid her hands upon their heads, and pronounced ihem good old boys, and enabled them to run abont at wonderful sites, while their-poor senior juniors were tumbling in down and gout.

A most pleasant hour it is certainly— when you are once up. The birds are singing in the trees everything else is noiseless, except the air, which comes sweeping every now and then through the sunshine, hindering the coming day from being hot. We feel it on o«r face as we writa At a distance far of, a dog occasionally harks and some huge fly is loud upon Ihe windowpane. It i| sweet to drink in at oneji ears these innocent soands, and this veryjfense of silence, ind tcr say to one'ft Self *'^We are up, we are up, and are doing well the beautiful creation is not unseen and up heard for want of us." Oh! it's a prodigotis moment when the vanity and the virtue can go together. We shall not say how early we write this article, l*t we should appear immodest, and excite envy and despair. Neither shall we mention how often we thus get up, or the bonr at which we gener-i ally rise—leaving our readers to hope the best of us in return for which, wj will try to be as little exalted this morning as the sense of advantage over our neighbor will permit, and not (fcapise them—a great stretch tor an uncommon sense of merit. There, for instance, is C., hard at it, we would swear as fast asleep as a church. Of what value are his books now, and his subtleties, ana his speculations? as dead, poor man! as if they never existed. What proof is there of an immortal soul in that face with its eyes shut, and its mouth open, nnd not a word to say for itself, any more than the dog's? And W. there—what signifies his love for his children and his garden, neither of which he is now alive to, though the child-like birds are calling hirr, bopping amidst their songs and his breakfast would have twice the relish? And the L's with their garden and music?—the orchard has all the music to itself they will not arise to join it, though Nature manifestly intends concerts to be of a morning as well a« evening, and the animal spirits are the first that are up in the universa

Then streets and squares- Very much do we fear, that, for want vf a proper educa.. tion in these thoughts, the milkman, instead of ditrpising all these shut ap windows and the sleeping incapables inside, envies them for the riches that keep injuring that diaphragms and digestions, and that will render their breakfast not half so good as his. "Call you these gentlefolks?" said a new-maid servant, in a family of our acquaintance "why they get up early the morning! Only make me a lady, and see

if I wouldn't Ke abwi.,w" '1

ottRd 'Ux.—Ah. ha? Oh, hoi Tktr* yoa are mamimm wgteta that experience eh 7 Ulad of it! Yer oaed ter c»ll ma "acraway." paasea isto tht «lmpe of pmverbe. and "leany." and said my skeleton wouldn't make Mm4» thMw who make um* of th#»i are a shadder. Now see where you are, old proady— apt to have no other kmmWdfe. and tiUv'i where vour pride and fat has brought yer., thus procure for them a wordty

Wipe off yer chin, won't yer! I character of «he loweat order.

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Seriously speaking, we brieve thai there is not a wholesomer thing than early rising, drone which. ifpen«ervered in for a very little wM&, wonkl make a greater different* in the sensations of thoee who suffer from most caused of iTl-heaith. particular hr thetawtting disease mf thf«e sedentary times—indigestion We be lieve it wottW supercede the supposed necessity of a great deal of nauseous and pernicious medicine—that pretended friend, and ultimate cer tatn foe, of all impatient stomachs-

It* utility In other respects everyb-*ty acknowledge*, though fe* profit it as they micht- Nothiag readers a man so completely master of the 4ay beforehim aogetsridofarreare, anticipate the necessity of kawfar, aod imnrca Iwisare- Walter 8oott t» «aid tu fc*ve witkw all km grwai St works belore breakfast he thaa ahn prnmred being one of the mot socsal of friewfcfc aadlrind and *-i att«ntive of wr*asp«Ktdeata 0ae

I S A E I I JU S A

uU~? *ns," i:

Franklin did them no good, in this respect, by crowding them together In "Poor Richard's Almanack and O^rvant&i intimated the commonplace abuse into Which they were turning, by pulling t.hem into the

by mingling them with the slip-slop of his 'Polite Conversation"—a Tory libel on the talk of the upper ranks, to which nothing comparable is to be found in the Whig or Radical objections of modern limes. Yet, for the most part, proverbs are equally true and generous and there is as much profit for others as for a man's self in believing that "early to bed and early to riBe will make a man healthy wealthy and wise for the voluntary early riser is seldom one who is insensible to the beauty as well as the uses of the spring of day, and in becoming healthy and wise, as well as rich, he becomes good-humored and considerate, and is disposed to make a handsome use of the wealth he acquires- Mere saving and sparing (which is the ugliest way to wealth) per-

ftMHTION

TEftTTE HAUTE SATURDAY EVEisTNG tMAIL.

^L.tfcliPP mA ±1 l_!

nin.Ti rucinoN.

mite man to lie in bed as long as most other people, especially in wintw, when he saves fire by it but a gftlblM' acquisition should be as stirring in this r*p£ct a« it is in others, and thus rendfflf its' rrbbes a comfort to it instead of a means of unhealthy care aad a preparation for disappointment, How many rieh men do we not see jaundiced and worn, not with necessary, care, but superfluous and secretly cursing their riches, as it were the fault of the money itself, and not of the bad management of their health? These poor, unhappy* rich people come at length to hug their money out of a sort of spleen and envy at the kckier andless miserable poverty that wants it, and thus lead the fivea of dogs ia the manger, aad am almost tempted to hang thenwelvea wheceaa. if they could parify the current of thwr blood a litUe. which, perhapa, they might do by early rising alone, without a peony for physic, they might fiad themselvwi growing more patieaL moce cbeerfuU. Ji9ore Kbcral. aad he astonished and delighted at receiving the praisea ofthe community for their public spirit and their patraaafle i^f nobis iastituttona. Ohl if we could bat ,p half Loadoa ap aMtaeacfier hoar. how they, aad oar eoliegea aad aaiverai-^ ties aad rayal aeademi«a, ete, would aH take a Mart together, and hoar tfceu quack admtmuwatoia the aawspapcrs woahJ dianniahi

Bat "taefMt'^aot preteod, iieanwhile, to he mdre Tirtaous oan^res than frail* teadbehi are apt to he. The truth ia. that lying to bed is so iq|nrioa« to1 oar parties bu- health, tlat we are earfy in sWfde fense and we wer«^ ahraya sadb so that jrc are

ijGiife^tbtf hoj Hoirie piea, and'Home figs, nnd ,, aomenut*. Did the boy eat the pies, And the figs, *J»nd the nuts? Oh. yes, the boy ate the pies, and figs^ and the nuts. ^r ,,

Swift completed in this country,

HATHEIATICS, ILLUSTRATED.

-•ivorce^

—ONLY—

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qualified to speak to que8tiouf "S| And as to c1e, it is oVh to a relapse! and we fear is a very dull one lii consequence for we are obliged to begin it earlier than usual, iq consequence o?"being late. We shall conclude^ with the 8prighlliest testimony we can call to mind in favor of early rising whieh is that of James the First, the royal poet of Scotland, a worthy diciple of (.'ha^cer, who, when he was kept in unjust captivity during his youth by Henry the, Fourth, fell in love with bis future excellent queen, in consequence of seeing her through his prison-windows walking in a garden at break of day, as Palatnon and Arcite did Emilia which caused him to exclaim, in words that, might be often quoted by others out of gratitude to the same hour, though on a different occasion—

"My custom wan to rl*e

Early aa day. Oh happy exercise. By then I cane to Joy out of torment I'

See the "King's Quair," the poem he wrote

BOUAftS

about it. We quote from memory, but we believe with correctness.

When It was tttttooanctd In Colorado, the morning after the recdnt etoctloft,that female suffrage had been defeated/ every married man in the State stood up before his wife and sWote ah awftil Ohtfa, as foand and strong as a limburger cheese, that he had wted for the amendment bat as their protestations aid the votes In the affirmative dont ag^ee, their wires are aa yet undecided whether to keep them udder the bed a few days longer, or bring 'em out and contest the election.

"This Oomrnooriense Broom Handle^ advertteed, and fe hoped women will have common senae enough not to hit their httriiaeds on tlM head with It. A good broom-handle to often wrecked for lire by devoting to »oeh a parpoae/

"New burglar alana What we need, though, to so«Bathla« that will alatrn the SlAhUBhAm, -44

'flits -I !.«• £ootj ifov l«w new hoe. lie.is fond of bis hoe. Ho loves to work in the flower beds among the nice flowers.

Be is careful not to cut the flowers. •-4JE12 both sides of the our present arti-

"Peucestas," said Leonatas, one day, when the all-conquering army of Alexander was on Its ma.ch to Malli. "Peuces tas, why is the crupper of Bucephlus like a ship's anchor?"

Peucestas was hurried in deep thought for a moment: "Because it has no pockd to put it in?" he xentured timidly.'

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"Naw!" roared the son of Pella." "Man behind the counter?" pursued Peucestas. "Nbr* -v **.. "To cover his head?" "Shades of my father, no!" ^. "Because it's inflnn?M|.

Leonatus only made a despairing gesture. "Because it's a slope up?"

Leonatus made a motion to strike him, and Peucestas said he wouldn't guess any more, and he couldn't see why a horse's crupper was like a ship's anchor.

Well, it is," replied lieonatus, "because it's at the end of the hawser." "Which end?" presently Peucestas inquired, with a show ot interest.

And then Leonatus looked along way off and said that the peculiar appearance of the clouds and the humidity of the atmosphere indicated considerable areas ot disturbance, with a right smart mean temperature at local pointa.

AN ABORIGINAL CHANT.

What time the glittering mya of mora O'er htll-and valley steal, a Chief Joseph's sqnaw, with dog and corn. prepares the Indian meal.

Aad If, with wild, rebellious shout, The pappoose shall appear, Tbe chleftan leads the bad child oat.

Clinched by the Iagiae oar.

Tha Ittuakfast o'er, the daughter strolls Dowa glen and shady dell 3 ^hlle gay young braves frem wao^ed knolls, "Lookout for the Injin belle!" Bach

strfekem brave she turns aad leaves Her eoyaeM to bewail Her dragging blanket stira the leaves

The well-known Indiaa traU.

A Black mil miner, scalped aad dead', Upoathe ground Is found Grim opeaka the chief, "There's beea, I'm afraid.

An Indian summer's aronnd."

Whit time he rideth fortti to Shoot. His favorite horse the dapple Is And, when he wants a little fruit,

Ooes where the Indianapolis.

When finished are his warlike tasks, With braaon incongruity For overcoats and food he asks,

With charming Indlanulty. -y

At night, heforn his bed he'll seek,

s.

With countenance forlorn lie takes his seal pi ug-knife. and eke He trims tile Inditfb corn. "1

"Ya'a.c, vent by try-goot's sdorw und usk der pai tm-r vos I vants for a kinbaiu, silk, velvet, muslin bair of bants und 8dockfng, Und vm she say, 'flve-und-swonsey cents,' 1 dold her she vas a leedle dear, aind id? Und a man make oud for eomedlngs nod. Vot 1 can do of dose dings?" Tlbe judge told him to get an indictment for himself, and he said he would.

A recent advertisement contains the following: "If the gentleman who kee|»s the shoe shop with the ml head will re* turn the umbrella of a young lady with whalebone ribs and an ivory handle t» the slate-roofed gnocer's shop, he wtll hear of something to bis advantage, as the same is the gift of a deceased mother now no more with the name engraved upon it

The

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Mr tJheeryblea propped hia nix monthsold boy up in a high chair, and then look ing admiringly at ihe crowing yona# iter, asked hia wife what waa the ,7 difference between the Indian chief now in Canada aod their yottngeat ?f-» offspring Of course Mrs Cheerybles "gave it up," and the proud father exclaimed, "One Is Sitting Ball and the other Is stttng bully.'' Mrs. CbeerybtMM fainted.

of Stephensoa agaftifet

Bar. for a foke of oxen, has, after Ave trials, with as many divided joilea, been a^ last decided. The jury had evidently gotten tired of the case aa the following verdict shows: "We, of tbe jury find for plaintiff ooe ofthe steera

In the controversy, or Ita value,. fifty doltarsi the coats be equ»l. ly divided aaM«og the parties, aad the joke to to the lawyers.

The lawini omjUo— "Never

Gimme a bite ol that candy, or Til sick hint on d° what yoa can put off dresses jar.

till demurrer."

LAVOU, BABY, LAUGH.

ffYdu

Umstf*. luu^hi.

We love to see. The habjr'fCfoctt no foil of glee. Ri« eye* a^fl bright—a bonnCiag boy He'a.p&paV pet and mama's Joy!,

CRY, BABY

Cry, baby, cry 1 A

ff I was yon, Mid yon wstfl, 1 do not thluk so much I'd cry. It

spoils your looks, uiy little lad, A uaughty boy makes mamma sad

I J'

What is the dilference between a posthole and a speaking trumpet One is hollowed out and the other hollered in.

The young mau who took bis girl out to see the moons of Mars in a looking-glass has been decorated with the order of the Grand Bounce by her indignant father. "Don't show my letters," wrote young man to a young lady whom he adored. "Don't be afraid," was the reply 'Tin just as much ashamed of them as you are.''

This world is not well arranged. For instance, who ever saw a rabbit chasing three men and a oar load of boys around, for three hours for the sake of fifteen cents'worth of pot-pie.

Thousands more Frenchmen would commit suicide, but just as they »re making ready for it they happen to hear of anew style of hat,or anew way to cook a horse steak, and so they live on.

As the acrobatic mosquito shoulders his valise and goes into winter quarters in the stove oven, the festive bed-bug laughs himself almost crazy over the thought that he'll have it all to himself till spring

The experienced editor can always tell at sight the man who comes in with his first attempt at original poetry. He walks on tiptoe, and looks as though he had passed a counterfeit bill or strangled a baby.

A cotempoary says "Saur kraut is healthy." And this is the truth. You never hear saur kraut complain of feeling weak. On the contrary, it never loses its strength—and the older it gets the stronger it becomes. "The Sweet Singer of Michigan" observes with her usucl sweetneis: The Philadelphia Labor party didn't elect Benjamin Harris Brewster Bat tbf/ polled Kwpubltatn votes enough to per mlt the Democrats, who are I heir greatest enemies, to pat out their little rooster. (Poetry-long meter )fess

An exchange remarks that a great many people find amusement in studying billboards. And. it may be added, that tbeii number Is greatly in excess of tboae who find any aiaunement in studying board bills.

How she dresaed 90 years ago,

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About the latest thing out is a borrowed book. t.i 4 iA hand-to-hand fight—Four aces aguinst four kings.

Are young lovers wbu can lopee ne*1essarily melon-choly? The man who has heretofore collided with a plate of soft butter when feeling around in the cupboard in search of something to eat after dark, now experiences a relief from the monotony by sticking his fingers in the pumpkin pie.

A man in Louisiana married five times in eleven months, apd swapped hisJust wife for a shot gun.

The best way to interest the Indian in agriculture inio show him that whisky is made out. of corn.

A handkerchief flirtation is a Very sim pie thing. It ouly requires two fools and two handkerchiefs.

The poorest coal oil may be rendered non-explosive by tying a brick to the can and sinking it in ten feet of water.

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