Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 8, Number 18, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 20 October 1877 — Page 1

Vol. 8.—Nof

THE MAIL

A PAPER FOR THF. PEOPLE.

SECOND EDITION.

Town-Talk.

Now wbat docs "making you one of them" mean with these families? In nine cases out of ten it means just this: A gradual doing away with all the little courtesies and politenesses which society demands, and which—T. T. is sorry to say—very few families show to tbeir own member* a letting loose of all the daily weakness**, faults and failings which, before stranger*, are curbed and concealed, and a throwing open of closet doors, and a display of skeletons therein —which are carefully locked and hidden away from you as Jong as you, area guest.

While you are "company," the family machinery seems to go on oiled whoels. The table appointmonts are perfect. If anything is forgotten, the servant is gently requested to supply it. If Johnnie spills his milk, he is told simply "to bo more careful next time," and the muss is cleared up with no further discussion. Tbe husband smiles across the table at tbe wife, and she in return, laughs sweetly at all his little jokes. The family remain at the table until excused, and all are at their best. Tbe daughters are tidy in the morning about their hair and collars, and tbe sons abstain from bywords and irrltability.^f 4%

But lot what a change, as soon as you tare made "one of tbe family." They are delighted to see you—all of them— you know that, and you feel a nice, in* dependent sensation in being left to do as you pleaso, and a pleasant consciousness of not making any trouble. But it jars upon you somewhat when the servant is told in no angelic tone that "there Is no excuse for her negligence in leaving the castor off the table, and unless she is more thoughtful she will lose her situation and you feel uncomfortable when Johnnie gets bis ears boxed for spilling his sauoe, And he is told he is a "careless, miserable little scamp, and fought to be sent to bed supperless for soiling the clean table linen so and you begin to wish for tbe old days of being "company" when the wife tells her husband "not to make a fool of himself' if he attempts any little stale Jesting or tbe husband takes that time to soundly rate his wife for the bills that have come in. The girls come down in the morning in soiled wrappers and toweled hair, and tbe boys are rude, and noisy, and impudent and they quarrel with each other, and bang the doors, at

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which the husband declares they are just like their mother in disposition, and she says if they bad had abetter example before them in tbe father they might have been better children.

Now to all fetnllies let T. T. offcr a word of advice. Dou't make anybody "one of the family." No matter bow often some friend may visit you—to matter how long he or she stays, try and keep them a guest in some way. If you are always exerting yourselves to be your most agreeable before your guest, it will become second nature to you after a time, perhaps, and render you pieasauter lu your iatully* Ii the girls get used to looking tidy mornings, they will find it easier to be neat when no "company" Is about if the boys restrain their speech and rude ways always when guests sre about, it will sorely be no detriment to them at other times and above all things, keep your flunlly secrets locked away from tbe knowledge of the most trusted friend you hare. Of oourse there are emergencies when you wast counsel or ad vice--thattaa different thing. A valued friend Is a great help at such timee—one to whom you can speak freely. But T. T. means, don't, simply because yon know a ft*end intimately, and are sure of his know of your

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ONE OP THK FAMTLY."

One of T. T.'s lady friend* wants T. T. to say a word under this bead. T. T. bas observed, as his lady friend suggests, tbat many people think they can $how no greater proof of their genuine liking and regard for you than by promising to make you "one of tbe family." "Come and visit us," they say. Come often and stay long—and we will not make a visitor of you—you shall be treated like one of tbe family we mske our guests "one of us."

virtues, reveal t« him your daily weaknesses. It cannot do him any good, and will surely lessen you in bis estimation. Keep a guard over your faults and fallings in bis presence, just as much as you would in tbe presence ,oX a, atra.nger„ and it will pay you.

Don't spend your time and money, dear housewives, in cooking up expensive dishes, and furnishing an elaborate room *r toilet to please your company. Don't make "cowpany" of your ft lends in that way. It wearies and wears upon you, and does tbem but little good. Let them share the family accommodations snd food let them feel easy and free to roam about at will, but dont reveal to tbem yout* faults of tempor and disposition because they are "old friends and all tbe restraints you put upon yomself, all the forbearance and self control you manifest before "company" will pay you immediately in the consciousness that ypur friends and family are happy and, in future, in tbe ability to be agreeable with more ease. In this way jou guard yourselves from tbe possibility of any neighborhood gossip about tbe domestio workings of your family while, on the other hand, people who are made "one of the family," if quizzed are very liable to relate scenes to which they have been silent and uncomfortable spectators. If you cannot get along with tbe members of your own family and be always courteous, always polite, always agreeable— and who does?—T. T. begs of you to keep on your good behavior before people, for their sakes and your own

CONCERNING MATRIMONY.

Tbe following charmingly written communication, from the pen of an earnest mother, will be read with interest and appreciation. It has all a woman's peculiar grace of style, and is pregnant with truths. We cheerfully throw our columns open to lady readers in the discussion of themes such as this, which our correspondent bardies so ably and delicately I

Editor Saturday Evening Mail: '*2? There is not,and I fear never will be, attention enough givon to the all-import-ant question, "Who shall our girls marry It is something they look forward to from childhood, and if unhappily married it is something they look back to with regret as long as life lssts. I say all-important, because it net only makes tbe unfortunate oouple miserable, but it is constant trouble to their friends and, tbe worst of all, tbe nnhapplness it causes tbe little ones. Many a little child lays Its *veary head on the pillow with its heart sching because ma or pa Is sad. But it should not be so where there are little ones there should be cheerfulness. Girls, be careful you cannot be too cautious it is nothing to be trilled over. You are girls now, but yon will not be girls always. I tbink I bear some one say, "Well, if I don't make a good choice no one shall know it I will keep it to myself." That is what you think now, and undoubtedly you will keep a great deal to yourself, for in such rases there are troubles one cannot mention to one's dearest friend. But there is no one that will detect sorrow in a mother's countenance quieter than a little child. Oiten when my little- ones aro busy at their play, one of them will run to mesnd say," What lathe matter, mamma Are we naughty Did any one talk back to yon Alter a little cheerful talk they will go back to their play, but now and then watching my fate very closely.

I have a friend, the victim of an illsuited match, I see her to-night as I used to see her, the daughter of a well to do fanner, surrounded by all the comforts of life her father, a frugal, industrious man, who thought nearly everything was right that she did. Two daughters were already away from home, but this one remained at home, to all appearance happy in knowing she was both a help and comfort .to her younger brothers as well as her parents. I said "happy well, she was happy except in one thing, and that was she did not have much society. She yearned for mora it was a country place, and but few people lived there, so, of course, she could not have company Just when she wished. Her parents, being settled down and satisfled, could'not understand ker feelings. After awhile there moved a family into the neighborhood containing a number of yonng people they having an extensive acquaintance, and also being fond of music, made them very agreeable companion*. At first she did not think of the male members of the family, until she dfecuvsrtd tbat cne of tbem was of a melancholy disposition. This aroused her sympathies. She saw also that her sallies amused and interested him. This flattered her. Of course tbe result was Just what might be expected. Some one might say I dont see any wrong in that but it was wrong, and her own judgment told ber be was net the one to marry by any means. A man without any fixed principles is never to be trusted* especially if his only otgeot In life is to pleass himself. Her parents la a kind manner gave ber to understand that they thought she was making a mistake. All to no purpose she needed no advice. She wss sure she was

wrong, but could not mske up ber mind to go back to the sld, lonely way of Living. So they were married.

For a little while they were all In all to each other but she soon found out he had taken tbe position of a married man without having taken Its responsibility. He expected to sit down to a well filled table without troubling bimanlf where tbe ^applies were to come from, lie expected to find, on coming home, his wife with her work all put aside, freshly dressed to entertain him, whether sick or well. When siok in bed she might lie there alone, becauso he never could endure a sick room, but he must have some one cheerful around tbe bouse to keep him from getting nervous. The truth gradually dawned on her mind. She tried not to see, but facts are facts. Ho was not a dissipated man, but in everything so unsuitable for her, so much sa that llfo often seemed unendurable. Why did not she go home? She wanted to badly enough, but would not bring the disgrace of parting with a husband on those dear ones at home, doubly dear to her now. No, she nays to herself, I will bear It alone. But as one after another little one is added to her circle she finds she is not bearing it alone. Others dearer than her own life aro bearing ber burden with her. Does not her husband see he makes them all unhappy? The old saying is

,4None

are so

blind as those tbat won't see." He sees that she is careworn and wrinkled but thinks she frets too much thinks she gives the children too much attention and himself too little. He "does not see why she does not dres9 better," but bq never thinks to provide ber with dresses. He does not like to see her sober, when such and such a man's wife is always so lively. He forgets they have different kinds of homes. He forgets that while they are making nioe new garments, she is darning and turning some cast off garment given her by some friend. But, she thinks, I don't mind this If I could only be understood snd appreciated and she thinks of that home of plenty, of her brothers and sisters all situated so nicely, she alone in poverty and neglect she feels tbat it is a hard but just punishment for not using the judgment God gave her to use In starting out in life. She thinks, I could boar it better if I was not dragging those little darlings with me. Girls, don't be in a hurry. If you have never prayed iiefore pray earnestly before deciding on your companion for life lovo by all means, but listen to the voice of reason before it is too Iste. And mothers, let us make home attractive for tbe daughters as well as for the sons let tbem feel we want tbem and that we need them. I think many a girl gets married simply because she does not know what elso to do. Sbo has not been taught anything to support herself with and feels herself a burden to her parents and she knows they expect it of her. But I must close, and it seems as if I had not said the half of wbat I wanted to, for I think it is time every mother took the subject in band. K. J. C.

1 3 A N O S O S

WHISKY DRINKERS*

I will deiy anybody to point to the town or county throughout our broad snd growing republic In which a whisky drinker can not be found.

Tblnk one moment, gentle reader and you will agree with me thst it is impossible to go abroad without meeting or coming in contact with the above named person. You can not go a mile on the railroad without seeing him you can not buy dry goods without trading with him you can not buy groceries without coming in contact with him. If you attend church you are sure to see him (I don't say that he is In the pulpit, but you'll see him If you want to bring a suit in court you may employ him. He is always in tbe court house, and, furthermore, he Is often found in ths editor's sanctum. He is in the army he is in the navy he is in all hotels he is In the Senate he to in Congress, and it is a settled proposition tbat he is never missing in the State legislatures. He la foreign ambassador he is minister plenipotentiary he sits in the governor* chair, and has been known to occupy the White House.

Talk of local option, temperanoe societies, temperance advocates and lecturers. Does anybody believe In their beast that a Urns will ever eome when there will he no whisky drinkers? Tbe very people that rant the most about putting down tbe whisky traffic, and preach temperance, A&, kc., know, while they bluster and talk, that they can never obliterate the whisky drinkers.

I wish there ceuld be some method adopted or something done to prevent own front drinking whisky for when I Udnk of tbe tearful eyes, pale faces and squalid homes this awful cone baa made my heart bleeds, and if I could I would sink every drop of tbe infernal st off into tbe sea so low tbat even tbe fishes could not smell It.

Tbe idea of ma*, tbe noblest work of

TEKRE HAUTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, OCTOBER 20,1877. Price Five Cents

creation, steeping not only his stomach but bis soul in whisky! There is one oonsolstion—thank God for it, There is a besven—snd one, too where the whisky-drinker csn't be received for wbat angel could or would affilliate with a drunkard. If I am unfortunate and miserable enough to go to pordition when I leave this world I hope and pray it will not be In the part of old Sntan'a dominions assigned to whisky drinkers. Lady Gay.

People and Things.

The Hutchinson Family snd Father Time are still on tbe road. .. Tbe tbief with a conscience goes insano wken his crimes are discovered.

Lucy Stone says she despises tbe custom certain men have of raising tbeir hats to ladies.

Out in the Black Hills the three degrees of comparison are said to be 'mine, miner, minus.'

A msn in Freeport, Illinois, hss joined eight different churches in order to avoid all risks.

Postmaster General Key plays whist. Now let no one he so uqk^ud as^to mention whist-Key..'

One of the greatest wonders in this world is what becomes of all tbe smart children after they grow up.

Tweed Is mentioned as being "at tbe front" again. Certain legislators of New York remember him as being generally at their ear.

A. L. Sawtelle, manager of a traveling dramatic company, was put under arrest in Nevada for beating a little girl because she did not act her part to suit him.

Cheer up times will be easier when the professional base ball players quit for tbe season and begin to put their boarded wealth into circulation.—[Worcester Press.

A man is thirty years old before he has settled thoughts of his fortune it is not .completed before fifty. He falls to building in his old age and dies before his house is in condition to be painted and glazed.

The Hon. W. E. Forster ssid to Harriet Martineau: "I would rather be damned than annihilated." A lady says tbat tbe handsome Dr. Bradford, of Cincinnati, puts it better than that: "I would rather go to hell than to go nowhere." ,,

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Robinson went up to his room the other afternoon and noticed tbat there was only one match remalulng in tbe box. "Now, If tbat shouldn't burn tonight when I come in," soliloquized he, "what a fix should be in." So he tried it, to see if it was a good one. It was.

Tony Psstor says there is no showman who would,thin* of letting a lady be first to pass through the doors when opening tbem for a performance, as it is regarded as bringing ill luck. They dislike cross eyed people, and are averse to employing a musician with a yellow olarinet.

The New York Mall reports thst gentlemen's fell snits run heavily on plaids, some so large as to be mistaken for a plan of building lots in a suburban vlllsge. The trousers are superfluotfsly loose, aad the hat worn in connection with the costume only suitable for a boy ten years old.

Albert Needing'shst was found beside a pond inWarehstnNsrrews, Mass, a year ago, and in it a card on which was written: "Mary, you have driven me to suicide. Farewell." Mary was his wife. She wore mourning until she learned, recently, that he was living in Boston with a new wife.

A Louisville preacher was sketablng with vivid imagery the scene in the garden of Eden, and in his earnest progress came to this sentence: "Andy the recognised the fact of their nakedness, and went and made themselves aprons of fig leaves—miserable shift!" The congregation laughed aloud at the unintentional pun.

The Rev. Dr. Talmage told some remarkable stories at the late Sunday school convention in New York. Among them: "Some men never learn how to phrase a prayer, A hone was running away with* man. He grabbed bold of the aides of the wsgon, and he said 'O, Lord, make us thankful for the mercies we are about to receive.'"

McYicker, of Chicago, after

an interval of many years, fdt that he would like to repeat an early attempt at playing "Falntaff." About bslf a down people came to see it. With characteristic pertinacity, he put on the posters next day tbe following announcement: "In copssqusnss of tbe feet tbat nobody came to tbe tbeatre last evening to witness the above performsncs, the manager takes pitssure In informing the publlc that It win be repeated to-night," And play It be did until he conquered an

Ben DeBarVspirit kss appeared In St. Louis. A. kf. Herring, a spiritualist, snd an old friend of the comedian, declares that tbe ghost pulled his cost In tbe street Mrs. DeBar Is said to have re a "slate" message from her de­

parted husband concerning the administration of some business affairs, snd to have recognized his writing: and at a seance his spirit appeared, and, with the laugh peculiar to the old msn, said tbat the life beyond wss perfectly delightful, snd it hsd been unable to find any signs of hell. V.V'

Feminitems.

Dame Fashion sticks her hat well back on her head. Clara Morris, the actress, is said to be a strict church member.

All the ornamentation on new stockings is on the front of the shin. ANew York exohange ssys the Amorican women are commencing to use more cotton.

Jennie June says thst Lydia Thompson is a charming and happy wife and a thoroughly practical, conscientious mother. ...

Augustln Daly makes his actresses practice laughing, so as produce a silvery, rippling laugh to order at the right moment. -v

The masculine element predominstes In the fashions for ladies' street costumes. Ladies now wesr white vests and flat folded ecarfs precisely like those worn by gentlemen.

Twenty-four button gloves are in. A bashful young man requested to fasten one will have time to express himself, to say nothing of the valuable practice for the future stove pipe.

The female treasurer of a Sunday school in Jefferson, Telxas, absconded last week with three hundred dollars belonging to tbe school. There must have been a man in the case.

Unless more employments sfiall be opened to women, polygsmy will presently be staring us in the face.—CourierJournal. Suppose some of them learn how to do housework.—Detroit Free Press.

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A clergyman says, "I once'married a handsome young couple, and as I took tbe bride by the band, at the close of the ceremony, and gave her my warmest congratulations, she tossed her pretty face, and pointing to the bridegroom, replied "I think he Is the one to be congratulated.'

The poorest girls in the world are those who have never been taught how to work. There are thousands of them. They have been taught to despise labor, and depend upon others for a living, and aro perfectly helplees. Tbe most forlorn and miserable woman on earth belongs to this class.

Months ago we read of the Parisian who only wore the glove-fitting garments of chamois skin under her robe. Some of our New York ladles now wear under garments of raw silk, glove-fit-ting corsets, a scant, short skirt, and tbe trained suit, the bottom of the dress being trimmed underneath to simulate a short petticoat.—New York Letter.

Dr. Dodds Is a female physician in regular practice in St. Louis. She wears trousers confined^ at tbe bottom rather closely, a garment in place of a coat, which is neither coat nor closk, and a hat which is neither male or female In character, but a compromise between the two. She takes sun bsths, and has immensely high fences surrounding ber house.

Miss Minnie E. Hodges, a lady who has just resigned tbe poeition of cashier apd money-order olerk in the Dee Moines (lows) postofflce, hsndled and paid out during six years 14,000,000, and never made a mistake of a cent. At times she had charge of the whole office, with twenty-flve or thirty clerks under ber direction, snd there never wss the slightest trouble.

A Southern lady, writing to the Woman's Journal, gives us this picture of Northern women, "as others see us." "We here In the South never heard a woman speak In public, and when we read of suuh and audi an one standing up, cool, calm and unabashed before large audiences, delivering addresses, lecturing on temperance and other sub* Jects, we feel, and perhaps act, like little children, who, with mouths agape and eyes wide-staring, bear for the first time, some marvelous story we hold up our hands in holy honor, and wonder wbat will come next. Sometimes we try to imagine bow a woman looks and sets on tbe rostrum. We fancy ourselves sitting In nervous trepidation before one, expecting every moment for ber to break down, drop down, bun* into tears, go off into hysterics, or something of tbe kind so much like a woman to do under such trying drcumi1rv We remember being in one of ourchurcbee here and seeing a young lady burst into tears whitest tbe organ In tbe middle of a etanaa. She had yielded to solicitations to lead tbe music, and started pretty welt, but timidity overcame her, confidence fled, and wo-man-like (orchilklike, aome might term It), she forgot all propriety, aud, dropping ber heed in ber bands, gsve vent to ber feelings In one fitful gush of tesm. Your women must be made of firmer material than ours."

Written for The Mall*

THE HOOSIER'S SOLILOQUY.

PUTNAM COUNTY BALLAD. KDWINBARtLB.

&•

I've sot here an' watched tbe boys.reapin', Out there in the heat, An' seen the bright blades go a creepin',

Along through the wheat.

Till one of the lads went a swlngin', Right into a clump, O' weeds, an'h soytke went a ringlet', il* An' all to myself 1 've kept sayln*

I've done had my day.

An' like that old stump I keep stay In' In somebody's way I'm old an' I can't help a moplr,'

Around like astray

With them whatl've caxetLfor a hopinV I'd die any day. ir An' I've been a slttln* here thinking

With suin'atof pain,

How them as 1 loved went a sinkin'

Like cradleso' grain,

An' one when I thought of cm goin* An' slippin' away Like shadders at dusk an* me knowln'

Myself in the way,

I found I was 'boot half

Just ever so low,

An'

a

wlshin' me dead or a dyin' Bo's I too night go

To join them tbat never was sorry When I was around, An' never seemed wantln' to hurry

Me under the gronnd. III

1 reckon I'm treated with kindness, As old people are, Butold eyes can see in their blludntss,

As most people do.

But all the wbile I've been a creepln' On closer to God. An' by and by I'll be a sleepln*

Dowa under tbe sod,

Where's lots o' room I keep a hopln' While I want to stay, An' nobody'll say I'm a mopin'

"Sif

1

•isU

a

cryin'

4m

Ef love lsnt there, -j I spbse I've got plenty of ailln's, At seventy two. a s. An' grandchildren have their own fallln s,

In somebody's way. •5

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Golden Words,

%£e^est

tfirow of ftie dice—throw'"

them sway. Aristotle said a gamester wss no better than a thief.

The greatest trutns sre the simplest, so are the grestest msn. Eminent stations mske greet men more great, and little ones less.

Man is sometimes the slave of tea thoussnd imaginary necessities. Strong minds are like the firm grained wood, which kindles slowly bqt burns brightly.

There is always room for a man of foice, and he makes room formsny.— Emerson.

Be thou as Chaste as ice, as pure sa snow, thou sbalt not escape oalumny.— Shakespesrs.

Happiness is like a pig with a greasy tall, which overybody runs after, but nobody can hold.

None are so tiresome ss those who always agree with us we might as well tslk with echoes.

Character is like cloth If white it can be dyed black bntonOe blackened It cannot be dyed white.

Talents sre best nurtured in solitude character is best formed in the stormy billows of the world.

Charity, which begins st home, is often too wesk to be trusted faraway from the doorstep.—N. Y. Express.

Society is the atmo«phere ef souls, and we necessarily inhale from it something either besltbfnl or infectious.

A fixed ides it like tbe Iron rod Which the sculptors put in the ststues. It impales and sustains.—M. Taine.

Love, if you would be beloved serve, if you would be served and humble yourself if you would be exalted.

The first ingredient in conversation la truth the next is {rood sense the third, good humor, and the fourth, wit.

The voice of conscience is so delicate thst it is easy to stifle it. but It is also so clesr thst it Is impossible to mistake it:

A teacher who is sttempting to tench without inspiring the pupil with the detire to learn is hammering on oold iron.

of others. TO receive we must give. Those who give the warmth of tbeir Qwn hearts to oomfort others, sbsll themselves be comforted.—March.

I think it must somewhero be wrltterf thst the virtues of mothers sbsll, occssionally, be visited upon their children ss well as tbe sins or Cathera^-Dlck-ens.

Disappointments are like those clouds which look black, and eclipse tbe sun, but when they fell, refresh and beautify wbat they seemed to threatOT.—Charnock.

Some people's religion is Just.llkeJa wooden leg. There is neither warmth nor life In ft, and, although It helps you to hobble along, it never becomee apart of you, but has tube strapped on every morning.

Love is like a banter, who cares not for tbe game when once caught, which be may have pursued with tbe most intense and bieathlesseagemess. Love la strongest in pursuit friendship In possession.—Emerson.

There are souls which fell from besven like flowers but ere the pure and fresh buds csnooen they are trodden in the dust of tbe «nth and lis soilsd and crushed under the foul tread of some brutal boot—Richtsr.

The charms of nature, the majesty of man, the infinite loveliness of truth and virtue, axe net bidden from tbe eye of Cbe poor, but Aom the eye of tbe vain, the corruntsd ana selfieeking, be he rich or poor,—Csrlyle, pserionsle temper rsndes nounfit for eonvsissllon^estrpys friendships, transforms Jnstlos Into cruelty, and turns all order intoeonfasion.

O, If the dseds of human crestures could be trsesd to tbeir sowee, how beautiful would even death appear, for eta purifi how much chsrity. mercy snd purified affection woald be seen to have their growth in dusty graves.—Dickena.