Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 8, Number 15, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 29 September 1877 — Page 1

Vol. 8.—No. 15.

THE MAIL

A PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.

SECOND EDITION.

t£

Town-Talk.

The new oow ordinance has been published in tbe papers this week. Tbe Mayor gave notice that from and after last Monday it would be strictly enforced, but it hasn't been, for only night before last T. T. was called on to assist in driving out of tbe yard a voracious cow. Probably some cows have been kept up this week at night, but many are still running at large, and not a single arrest has been reported. T. T. will beta copy of bis picture at the head of this column agaiqst the reputation of tbe city police—and call it an even bet— that by the leaving out of next spring's shrubbery, tbe oow ordinance will be a dead letter. Whether this be

or not

T. T. would suggest tbe propriety of enacting and enforcing an ordlnauce to prevent the running at large beyond the city limits of

THS FOOLS

with which our city is afflicted. Tbey do not do any harm bore where everybody knows who and what they are, but when tbey get outside the city limits and especially at a distance, and proclaim their importance, standing, fcc., people get a wroug impression of us.

Are you from Terre Haute?" asked a gentleman of T. T. when be was traveling not long since. (If anybody suggests that a fool ordinance would have prevented T. T. from traveling, T. T. hereby gives powor of attorney to any one of bis many friends to smite that man with the jawbone of an ass.) ''Yes," said T. T. "Well," said the gentleman, smiling a sarcastlo smile, "I met one of your

LEAPING LAWYERS

a few woeks since and was with him soveral days." T. T. Inquired bis name, but it had escaped the memory or the gentleman. T. T. ran over the list, Voorhees, Scott, Cruffc, Mack, Gooklns, and so on with the name of every lawyer T. T. could call to mind, but the man shook his head at every name. T. T. was puzzled. A leading lawyer! Certainly he had included the loading lawyers in his list, and some who do not do much at leading. Tbe man began to describe him, and Immediately T. T. aaked if his name was no matter what. "That's It," said the mar. "Leading lawyer, indeed!" exclaimed T. T.

4»

Why he 1s the leading fool of the Terre Haute bar, and of the whole city. Seldom has he a case of any kind, unless he is assigned to defend some poor devil who cannot employ, and ought not to have a decent man to defend him. He is a consummate ass, who manages now and then to get somebody who does not know him to bring a suit and employ him, and occasionally gets assigned as before said." "Well," said tbe man, "I thought you must have a queer bar oat there, If he was a leading member of it, and yet he so proclaimed himself, and wherever he went he left the impression that at home be waa the top-lofUest man of tbe whole region. He talked, long, load and big. Yet

I couldn't

think he stood

wry high in his profession, or bad much practice." So here was this fool, at whose pretensions everybody have laughs, disgracing ai fine a bar as there is in the country, by palming himself off as a leading member of it. No doubt he waa conceited enough to think that is or ought to be his position. He ia honest in his opinion, but be is a fool, and don't know it. There ought to be a law against allowing auch a||ma|» to run at large outside the city.

Not long slnoe the pastor of one of the prominent churches or this city met an old acquaintance, who said that in travelling, he had kllen in with ot» of Uw

PRINCIPAL XKMBS1S

of his church, a man who, from his own aooount, was one of hla main supporters and chief advisers. In feet," said the man," I should imagine, from what he said, that he run tbe entire machine, you Included." Tbe name of thiaself proclaimed leading christian had been forgotten, also, but when his persona) appearance waa described, and it waa stated that he soundly abused and miarepresented one of the leading public men of the city, the pastor recognized tbe sheep of his fold. Yea," be said,

•*.

that man is a member of my church, and I am ashamed to admit it, for be is the stingiest and the meanest man that ever walked. No man sees him go up the aisle on Sunday who does not think of his meanness. He is wealthy, and is always making the most generous offers of assistance, bat is sure to accompany every offer with a condition which cannot be complied with. Aa for the man whom he abused, he was bis neighbor and was treated by him most shamefully, and according to the principle of human nature which makes men hate the most those whom they have abused the worst, he bates this man and takes every occasion to malign him. If the devil don't catch him, though he is in the church, there doesn't seem to be much use in having any devil." That is the character which the. minister gave this man, and if T. T. should set down his name here, every citizen of Terre Haute who knows the man would say thst the minister was right, as far as he went, but failed to do tull justiee to the subject. He is a meaner man than tbe most eloquent divine of our citv could describe. Yet he was running at large and disgracing tbe city by holding himself up as an illustrious representative of its christian citizens.

These are no fancy pictures drawn by T. T., but are taken from actual life. Now we have a oow ordinance, let us give tbe city fathers no rest, night or day, till we have a fool ordinance. Will tbe Gazette join in tbe bowl? A proviso can be put in exempting editors.

tiusks and Nubbins.

J*.' No. 273.

4 SATURDAY NIGHT.

Saturday night! Who does not welcome it? Who does not Bhut his ledger or bis shop with a quicker and cbeeriei impulse as he reflects that one morning at least will go by without seeing them opened There is something in the approach of Sunday that calls up pleasing thoughts alike in Christian and Infidel. To the latter it means at least rest and a day with wife and children, and that is a good deal to tbe former it means, or ought to mean all that and something more. "A day of rest," it is called in the Scriptures. Some people think they don't need this day of rest that they can run on, week in and week out, for yejrs, for a lifetime, and never rest. So they may, but it will likely be a short lifetime. If a man can stand that he is the only thing in the world that can. Iron and steel maohinery needs rest. It is said that if a worn out razor be laid away for awhile it will become good again. Nothing mellows and enriches the soil like lying idle for a season or two. Fallow ground tbey call it. The Earth sleeps in winter. "The Spring and Summer are given to the fulfillment of winter dreams." All things need rest.

What is this day of rest, what does it mean? It means cessation from work but it means more than tbat. It does not mean downright idleness—a vacant folding of tbe hands. It means a change of occupation and thought—an exercise of new faculties. We drive on through the week with our business like mad men. No one takes thought for the things of another but for the things of himself alone. All his energies rush like a river in one direction. He is absorbed in, or rather by, his business. It hurries him along so that he has no time for thought. He needs a day to stop and think, to observe his work, to look at it leisurely from a little distance. He can get abetter idea of what he is doing and where he is going. He needs at least one day out of seven to spend with his family—so that he may not beoome an entire stranger to them. Durthe week he eats and sleeps at home that's about all. He has uo time and no thought for wife and children. A man only think of one thing at a time if hla head is (till of business there is no room for anything else. But wife and babies are to be thought of too. Home is to be thought of. A man would better not have them than to forget and neglect them. That is a touching picture of old Dombey forgetting bow much he loved little Paul until it was too late to love him. Before, he bad no thought save for his money afterwards if only all bis boarded gold could have brought back his boy again!

What ia the good cf wealth if it brings no enjoyment with it—nothing but care and anxiety increased and forever increasing? The less of it tbe better. There ought to be a day for enjoyment aa well as six days for toil. It seems reasonable that a man should spend fif-ty-two days in enjoying what he has worked three hundred and thirteen days to earn. One year out of every seven— ten years out of a lifetime—that isn't extravagant.

Bad as the hard times have been, I think they have been a blessing ia one respect: they put a sudden and terrible check to the mad race for wealth which had taken possession of our people. We were driving along at a break-neck speed. Men wanted to get rich in a year and sotae did. We went like a railroad train on a down grade without

brakes. That which came waa a natural and necessary consequence: there waa a smash-up. Fortunes went to pieces in a day. Men who thought they were rich soon knew that they were poor. There was a grand wreck. Well, it pat a check to tbe money lunacy. It turned men's minds to other things. Some Of them discovered that there waa something else to live for besides money. Foiled in the pursuit of wealth tbey began to give their attention more to home and children and books. The years of stagnation and slow trade have constituted a sort of universal Sunday on a large scale wherein tbe overtaxed brain ef the business world has rested and recuperated. Monday is just dawning now and we are about to start upon new week of toil and prosperity. I think we will be better for the rest we hsve had. I think we will feel fresher and freer—more elastic and light hearted. Perhaps, too, we will not forget our Sunday experiences for awhile and will not go quite so crazy over business. Perhaps tbe sermons we jhave heard, the bo^ks we have read, the associations we have enjoyed during this period will exert a wholesome influence on us for a little time to come. Bye and bye doubtlees we will forget all about it, get as crazy as bed bugs again, and go plunging headlong on the down grade just as we did before. Then it will be Saturday night, there will be another smash-up, and Sunday will come again.

MY COUNTRY COVSIN.

TO MR. SOLOMON CORNSNAPFER, ESQ. DEAR SOL Your letter inquiring as to tbe fashions which now prevail in metropolitan circles, and asking what preparation you should make before coming to the city, Is duly at hand.

I think you are right in arguing that it would be well to dress in tbe highest style of art before making your.debut among the "fellows." My experience has been such as to corroborate that supposition. A well dressed man is politely received by the hotel clerk, respected by tbe bootblacks, esteemed by tbe girls and trusted by bis landlady and washwoman. A poorly dressed man is equally respected and esteemed, if he be of good character, but the danger with him is that be is apt to imagine the contrary and suppose he is being snubbed when such is hot the case.

The style of pants is of the large and roomy variety, falling straight down like a Doric column or a Turk's leggings, and which crease into a thousand ruffles at every step.

The architecture of the prevailing coat is of the composite order, owing to a sudden change in fashions, so that you may see long tailed coats, bob tailed ooata, sack coats, frock coats, cutaway coats, button-up coats and dusters of all shades, all at the same time on the streets ki comfortable variety. Woutd aavise you to bring a long tailed coat when you come to the city, so that if the fashion changes again you may have it cutoff

The newest build Of hats is on the plan of the inverted soup pot, with a belt around its waist, and of tbe original sooty black hue. Some poetic minds liken it to a warrior's helmet, but said warrior would seem to be a Hottentot bushman.

The necktie is white, necessitating change every time you return from the dusty street.

Collars are of the ear-sawing style, cut biss. Pocket handkerchiefs are blue, mottled with atreakings of tbe morning light.

Socks are gotten up In rainbow order. Barbara' pole aooks are going out of style, owing to ths feet that the washerwomen so frequently get them mixed with articles of the same general description but longer in the shank!

Underclothing must be of silk. No young man may hope to attain social standing, respect and sympathy unless he wears silk underclothing

Moustaches are no longer waxea in the Spanish hacienda style, but trained in loose luxurianoe, English feahion.

Thua attired, my dear cousin, you may freely venture into the society of the b'boys, and if you carry a cane will be in style. Respects,

Fkaxk Faxfltkr.

DEC1DBDLY ENCOURAGING. (New York Son.] However the esse may stand with other commercial centres, there ia no longer any room for doubt or question as to the revival of trade here In tbe metropolis. The feet is patent to everybody who has eyes. Westers and Southern feces, lomg missed and mourned, are reappearing daily in the hotel corridors and on the down town sldewalka the wholesale merchants an rubbing their hands with satisfaction: the railroads are carrying more freight they have had the handling offer years nw. In tbe harbor, too, and an •long the water front, there ia anew life and bustle very good to look at. Shippara and skippers alike are busv and hopeful. Tbe five steamers that cleared for Europe on Saturday took with them over a quarter of a million bushels of grain, besides beef, baoon, sad ail provisions. Altogether, the outlook for the fell's bus!new is decidedly encouraging.

TERRE HAUTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, SEPTEMBER 29,1877. Price Five Cents

People and Things.

A coroner's jury in Arkanaaa found thata corpse came to its death "by holding five aces."

A western doctor makes dyspepsia just" get up snd dust" by exercise at the sawbuek.

A Memphis negro bought a ooat for five dollars on credit, and sold it for fifty cents in cssb, so as to go to a circus.

Rev. Mr. Gottbell is the name of a New York clergyman. He should give it to the sinners in his oongregstion.

A Baltimore man pours a quart of champagne into bis watermelon and keeps it on ice over night. Eat unbuttered.

After a successful cremation a rfan doean't weigh as much as a six-months' old bsby. But he is great deal easier to take care of. "Lecture on *Fcols'— Admit one," was tbe inscription ons csrd of admission to a discourse by a Western clergyman tbe other evening.

A Kentucky man poisoned several watermelons for thieves, and then by mistake sold to customers. Lacking the nerve of a druggist be has fled.

It requires several days' practice for tbe schoolboy to become as proficient in the UBO of the paper wad as he was at the close .of last, session.—Salem Demoa

Joseph Fontin, a real* estate broker in San Francisco, put some carbolic acid on a painfsl corn, and, shortly afterwards, had to have his leg, near the knee, amputated to save bis life.

The Detroit Free Press has a musical critic who notes tbat every first-class pianist bobs his or her head right and left and forward and back like an old sock banging on a olotbes line."

"Darling, kiss my eyelids down," is the latest moonshine song, and he kisses them down, and up, and crosswise, and all around, then settles on her mouth as a steady thing.—Philadelphia Press.

A joking idiot in Boston reached from the car window as a train was in motion and caught a boy by the band. When released the boy fell under the car, the trucks passing over afoot and ankle.

It is stated that Mrs. Kate Chase Sprague paid $2,000 a yard for some lace a few years ago, and now her.husband's business paper sells for 2K ceuts on the dollar. A fitting finale of the drama of

Splurge." It's a tremendous wear on a man's moral faculties to admit that a blotchy, red, hairless, toothless, sour, squalling "mama's darling" is "the sweetest, prettiest baby that overlived," but it is often required to preserve neighborly relations intact.

A Mr. Steele recently married aMiss Lemon. We have our opinion of any man who would Steele «r Lemon, but we suppose it was well squeezsd before he took it, which lightens the offense. Or maybe he wanted some lemon aid.

Straw's Point, N. H., has a hotel keeper who is too sharp to let guests get ahead of him by any auch dodge as dying. A than who engaged board until a oertain'Monday died Saturday, and the landlord has compelled the executors to pay tall board over Sunday.

In private Mark Twain is fall of jests, keeping them up even at his domestie hearth. His wife asked him one day, when he was fondling bis first born. "You do love tbe little thing, do you not, Samuel?' "I can't ssy I love It, but I respect it sincerely for its noble fathers sake."

A Carml, Ills., man dug his own grave beside his first wife, lay down in it and shot himself through the head. Still the work wss incomplete. He lay there intheailent night, with the throbbing stars and cold white moon looking down upon his cold white face, and none to cover him with gravel, none to lay turf above his head. It is tone bing think how eagerly and glsdly the grave would have been filled bad his second wife been thece to do it.

While the wife of Mr. C. J. Langdon, and brother-in-law of Mark Twain, waa riding nearElmira, New York, with her child and nurse, a few days ago, the horses ran away, and were stopped by a colored nana nsnaad John F. Lewis, who was rewarded by a pteaent of 91,0*0 from Mr. Langdon, fifty dollars and a set of hia books from Mark, and twentyfive from another petson, bssides quitclaim far a mortgage of 9400 on his term, due to a gentleman who thought the deed worthy of a farther reward.

Philadelphia Press: Tbe most rapid warts of a fortune en rseotd is thst sooompHshed by John Taylor Johnston. His lather, In Use oouneofa long life, accumulated a million for hia son, and the latter sank the whole of it in two years. He had beoome president of tbe New Jeney Osntral road, in which he embarked hia entire fortune. The failure of thia reed ruined him in a couplet* and hopeless manner. Never before hasptmlllk» been so rapidly thrown away by a man who'hed no bad habits, and was tasking every booeSt effort to luuiessa his wealth.

Feminitems.

Only the female moequito bites. Bat few women's arms are beautiful above tbe elbow.

Tbe beat application for the countenance Is serenity. The scotch tunes are like a scoldldg, nagging woman.—George Eliot.

Mrs. Anne Wittenmeyer Is writing a history of the Crusade movement. "How Women Love" waa followed by Divorce at the Boston Theatre.

Moths are waiting to aee the housewife's face when ahe gets out her furs. Miss Llllie Robinson is Grand Secretary of the Good Templars In Wisconsin.

Mile. Sarah Bernhardt, when she works as a sculptor, wears the dress of a man.

Tbe latest discovery of the anthropologists is thst a woman'a lower jaw always weighs leas than a man's.

In Paris, when they want to say that a woman is charmingly plump, they observe that her corsets are well filled.

The feet that a city belle smells of new mown hay is not a certain indication that she hss been in the country all Summer.

A female it eighteen wants five trunks when she travels. At fifty she can get along with a bottle of cold tea.— Detroit Free Press,

Only a few weeks more, and then there will be a ahower of Autumn leaves and a gust of feminine Indignation every time a fellow picks up tbe Bible to read bis evening chapter.

Josh Billings ssys tbat two women are never together ten minutes st a time tbat they don't begin to talk about their backs or their stomscbs. Remember, it is Josh" that says it.

A newspaper writer says: American women take much better care of them selves than formerly." He might have added that many of them take care of their huabandaand brothers also.

No artist, however skillfhl, has ever yet been able to catch the expression of a mother's face while oarrying her infent borne from a baby show atwhioh the little darling did not get the prize.

Vassar college Is to have a thousand dollar elevator. The girls have almost worn the banisters out sliding down, so tbe Faculty think it will be cheaper to provide an elevator.—Boston Globe.

They have a female doetor in Ann Arbor, Michigan, who "means business." On tbe slate at her door, the other day, appeared these words "Gone to my husband'a funeral back in thirty minutes."

Mrs. General Wallace, of Crawfordsville, thinks the women of America are called to the work of banishing fermented wine from the communion table at least, ahe believes it to be within their power and to be their solemn duty.

She stepped out of tbe cars few minutes, leaving a book in tbe aeat, but on returning, went to the wrong pew, and inquired of a placid old lady: "Are you sitting on Tbat Husbsnd ef Mine "Good Gracious! No," exclaimed the old lady, jumping up, and scanning the seat with rigid scrutiny.

A scboolma'am In Merlden, Conn., Is so unpopular that tbe school oommittee was requested by the heeds of families to dismiss her. The oommittee refused, and all the children have been withdrawn from the school, lhe teacher goes to the school room every day, stays there alone, ami draws her wsges regu larly.

Mrs. Briggs, of Allegheny, when her house took fire last week, didn't wait to scream, didn't stop to be burned up, nor did she csst her offrpringfrom the seoond story window. Finding escape impossible, she threw a featherbed oat on tbe ground and grasping her two children lesped from the second story out upon it, did Mrs. Briggs. AJl threeeecsped unhurt.

A young woman is ssid by the London World to have argued, In the midst of a dinner party discussion of Brigbam Young's death, that the principles of Mormonism ought to bo reversed. "Times," ahe ssid,

dare

eobad, and

feahkma ao expensive, that it la absurd for one man to have fear or five wives whereas, if ssch woman had four or five husbands, see how much cheapei it would be for each husband, and how much better wives eould dress."

Afermsr's daughter in Mexico, Mo^ committed suicide after writing a very tender letter to her accepted lover. *1 cant keep up this ghost of uonteaimenf any longer. I ahall ge mad if I am not already. I tell you this, darling, because I know you will forgive me when I tell you that I could not think of dragging yon down to mieery with mysslf. I could not marry you without bringing yon trouble, ao I have made up my mind to free myself front this world of ear*. I love you too dearly to cause you a minute of pain." There sre fewpasssgss in the. literature of suicide mors palbetle than this.,

Scraps of Style. .,

Putty color is the newest shade for kid glovee. ... Written visiting cards are the moet recherche.

The revival of a moderate hoop-skirt ia predicted. Polonaises will not lose fevor so long ss money is scarce.

The shades in milllnerys good are gorgeous this season. Wearing real flowers Is becoming" more and more the rage. ,•

Silk tbat will not cling or drape la nolonger in favor for dreeses. No material wears well when it is out the wrong way of the weaving.

A looking glass heel for lsdiee' shoesj la the latest feshionable folly. All wool dress goods sre more suitable for the street than ailk or velvet.

Bonnets and bats hsve undergone no very striking change, but the variety of sbspes are wonderful.

Anew glove festens at tbe side seam, has no opening in the palm of the hand, andia said to improve its sbspe.

Twenty-one shsdes of toad color snd eighty shades of mouse gray are among tbe newly imported dress fabrics.

Tbe Autumn buntings are quite an improvement on the Summer buntings. This fashion of goods will be much worn.

Yelvet and satin flowers lesd tbe fashions this season, and are shown In exquisite richness of design and coloring.

Fancy hairpins are again coming into fevor. Those with long turquoise or coral tassels are particularly effective.

The old fashioned reticule is in stylflf again, made of silk or velvet to match the costume, and hung on the wrist by handsome cords. ...

Tn hair dressing it is conceded that the most beooming arrangement is predicated rather on the contour of the face than the latest fashion.

Tbe latest in tbe hosiery line is declared to be "conspicuous and vulgar." This is deplorable—vulgar hosiery abonld be omitted. Why won't folks darn up the holes

There is just one tbihg about it. The lady who insists on carrying a good share of her dress in her hand has got to keep her shoes tied up, or let everybody know that ahe left home In a hurry.

2 1

Endless sre the varieties |ofJ frills, fraizes and collarettes, so that all can have one that is beooming.

Tbe trains of new walking dresses are at least ten inches shorter than those now worn, snd some of the more useful autumn materials are made up with so short a skirt as to require no holding up.

It is conceded now by all feshionable modistes that a well fitting corset csn be worn so loosely as not to be oppressive, snd yet add much to the style of tbe corsages, which should always set smoothly, but never press tightly upon the heart and lungs.

Length of gloves now Is being carried to an extreme, and will probably reach its limit during tbe coming season. Twenty-four buttons on each glove, for-ty-eight to be buttoned and unbuttoned every time the gloves are taken on or off, will exhaust tbe endurance of a devotee of feshlon.

Loosened Leaves.

Gathered for The Mail.

FROM LORD CHE8TKRFRLD.

THE VALUE OF TIME.

I, who have been behind the scenes, both of pleasure and business, and have seen all tbe springs and pulleys of those decorations which astonish snd dazzle tbe audienoe, retire, not only without regret, but with oontentment and satisfaction. But what I do, and ever ahall regret, is tbe time which I have lost in mere idleness, and In doing nothing*

Few people do know tbe true use and value of time. But admonitions am useless, when there is not a fund of good senee and reason to suggest them, rather than receive them.

Very few people are good economists of their fortune, and still fewer of their time snd yet. of the two, thelatter is the moat precious.

Do not imagine that, by the employment of time, I mean an uninterrupted application. No pleasures sre,at proper timee, both as neoesssry and ss useful: tbey feahion and form you for the world.

The valneof momenta, when cast up, is Immense. Tbey all may be pot to use, and tbat with much more pleasure than if unemployed.

I recommend to you to take care of minutes for bonis Will take care of themselves.

Never think any portion of time, whatsoever, toosltort to be employed. There Is hardly any place, or any compuiy.wbsceyoumay ne| gain knowledge, If you pleass. 'tf

Remember then tbat whatever knowledge you do not solidly lsy the foundation of before you are eighteen you will never be master of while you breathe.

Knowledge is a comfortable and neeeaaary retreat and shelter for us In an advanced age and If we do not plant it while young, it will give us no shade when we groif old. ..