Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 7, Number 4, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 22 July 1876 — Page 6

fe- SIS#

THE MAIL

JA PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.

about husbands—to thjp »OIRLS

d, better plowed when his than

A. BULB )&| In J»e bM good a Inner upon ..... _—----- when his wife peaks Greek,—J Sam. John non sta-

•Johnson was right. I don't afir-e to all Che Solemn dogmas of the rough old ger Hut very mueh approve wb*t one may call

The minor morals of the "Ursa Major.

Johnson was right. Although somo men adore Wisdom In women, and with wisdom oram her, There Isn't one in ten but thinks tor more

Of hit own grub than of his spouses grammar. VI know that tt Is the greatest shame In llfo

Hut who among the in (save, perhaps, myself,) 1£»turning noma, bat a*ks his wife, ~?W hat beef—not books—she has 1 shelf

Though Greek and Latin

upon the

1Jthe lad

boast,

They're little valued by her loving mate The kind of tongue that husbands relish most

J* modern, boiled, and served upon a plate. 'Or if as fond ambition may command.

Borne home-made verse the happy maiden show him, What mortal spouse but from her dainty hand

Would sooner seen pudding than a poem Voung ladr—d(H-p In love with Tom or Harry— *Tls gad to u-ll yo-.i nueh a tale as this But here is tin- moral of It. Do not mairy,

Or, marrying. tuk* your lover as he is— A very Mars—with something of the brute, Unless he pfovo* a sentimental With passions strong

UIK'appetitenoddy.

to boot,

A thirsty soul within a hungry body. 'A wrv man—not on* of UatiuvU clods— With human failings, whether saint or slnn.-r. JBndow^l, perhaps, with goto'.us from the "*B\it apUo take his temper from hlsdlu-

I(.R,

—{JOHN

U. SANK.

A Bit of Lacc.

us-j

"It's a ierfe«ly oxTii,itc picee of lace, papa." "I daresay, Flor."

But I want you to 1-IJK at it.

411shouldn't

know 8113* more about it

ifi did." Well, then, I want you to buy it. "Buy it! What for?"

Why, for me." Pay five hundred dollars for a bandkerchief for you?"

Yes, indeed. Why, papa, I should think it was something atrocious. All the'other girls have them, although certainly this is a little, the least little, I nicer than theirs. I don't know wlvy

Lucy should have a handsomer handkerchief than I, just because fche's married. Anybody els^ would say it was enough to bo" married, and so let ine itave the handkerchief. Married women have every thing—love and lace and diamonds. Now, papa, just take out

your pocket book." It was a coaxing voice. Do you suppose I carry five-hun-dred cfbllar bills in my pocket book

It makes no odds. Your checkbook, thon. I've set my heart on it, it's »ueh a beautv. If you only look at itlook at that wreath of flowers, all so delicately shaded here the close work

In the light, you see, there the opon work in the shade, so perfect you can «ttite fancy the colors and all done in this one thread. See, papa, there's a «Iew drop, that round hole in the mesh/' "Jtonst'tisf, Klor I can't see any thing of the kind there." •'That's becnusayour eye isn't educated, Sir. Mine is for I have Btudied other people's laces till I could almost work them. That's a good man! I linew you would. You always do. One, two, three!" And thon there was a shower of kisses and tinkling laughter. And that was the conversation of a millionaire and his daughter that Lucian Malvin heard over tlie open transom ot the next room to his in tlie hotel where lie staid overnight a year or twb ago, neeing neither people nor handkerchief, and aghast at the thought of a handkerchief costing the awful price of five hundred dollars, which was one-third of the mortgage ou his little place that he was trying to pay off, heart and soul—a conversation that now recurred to him «'*ln a moment of real agony, as the housemaid stood before him holding a little limp rag in her band that sbehadjust •uatchedout of the wash-tub, and that ^Ust night was a bit of dainty lace that

Miss Rosa Mereier had called her handfkerchief, and bad given him to hold during the galop. Good heavens, how was he ever going to restore it 1

He was a young lawyer, just entering *jWpon what in time would probably be -fine practice, but which was now rather 'empirical. He had started in the race •»for wealth and honor with a good legal ability, good name and good morals, and with no other Impediments than a •little patrimony in the shape of a modest dwelling In the suburb#, which he bad sbeen obliged to mortgage tor the means to get a part of his education and his profession, which mortgage he was striving to pay off, that he might begin f&athe future clear of the world. He was a iiandsome fellow, this Lacian Malvin, '"aan ambitious one too. in aome degree, tend verv nearly as proud as Lucifer. 'lie used to fe*l many a pang In tb« association with those so much weathier than himself to which certain circum«tances had subjected him. He had had •a important case accidentally thrown

Sato his hands, and bad aoquitUnl btm«*lf so well that the wealthy client took fctm up and would not lot Wnj down and \vhenLnci*n remonstrated that it was out of his power to keep up such association, anl wa» mortifying to his pride besides, the client had assured it was not pride, but vanity, that waa mortified, and that the way so be «s wealth* as those he met was to keep tb«4r company and get their oases aim fee had thought, on the whole, tbaUperifcaps his friend was right, and if he begin to yield with an Ignoble motive, bad nevertheless become very fond of the ways of people to whom wealth had grivftn every opportunity of culture and, grraoe, and who knew how to treat life" Kite a work of art. Moreover, it was a little ttat he was petted by various ef these good people. Urtain motherly ladies made mm at home with them, and won his confident* and his aflfeetlon, notably Mrs. Bsrnetta. Parents with good rent-rolls of their own as Mrs, Barnetta used to tell him, were riot so insistent in the matter of renUrolls of virtue and talent In their daughters' lMa*ban}ft and he was invited here and Caffiled there, and given to understand Hgimt deal more than he chose to unSjShmd. Proud as Lucifer, as it was previously stated, he was |fin&Jt® °"r* ry no heirees of them all and be the of her money he would not marry a rich woman, he could not marry a Mor one. When he married, be was Ming to give, not take, and at preeent nothing to fire. Perhaps he

would have been a nobler person if he had not been quite ao strenuous in this matter of obligation bnt then, aa Mn» Barnetta said, he would not have been Lndan Malvin, and Lucian Malvin was a very good fellow, after all, and there are few of us but have our faulta.

It was among these people that he happened to uaeet ROM Mercier. She had come from a distant plaoe, and waa visiting his pleasantest acquaintance and oertalnly the house was pleasanter still after her sunshiny little presence dawned on It. It seemed as if, for instance, tbere never had been any flowers in the house before, although it had always been overflowing it seemed as if there had been no mnsio there, no light or color, or oheer and now the plaoe was too dangerously delightful for a young man who did not want to marry to frequent. She waa such a lovely little thing not exactly beautiful, that is, she would not have been beautiful in a picture, but in flesh and blood, and iu Lucian Malvin'a eyes she was exceedingly beautiful, with her sell color, har clear dark gaze, and her bright hair that broke into a cloud of sunny rings about her sweet face such a gentle gayety went with her whenever she did, such a tender grace of manner, too, in the intervals of her buoyant spirits, her voice was such a warbling voice, her ways were such winsome ways. Lucian Malvin felt that he must forswear her presence unless he wanted to make life a burden to himself and he ceased going to Mrs. Barnetta's, where she was staying, almost as suddenly as day forsakes the horizon in that dreary season when twilights are not.

But if he could shut himself out from the Barnettas', ho eould not shut Miss Rosa out from general society and go where he would, he met her almost nightly, laughing gayly, singing sweetly, dancing lkhtly, tiil he declared to himself that if this was going to last, he must indeed cease going out at all, But that was a little too much I10 did not know positively how to deny himself the mere sight of her. Yet thine?) w*re growing very precarious when Mpf nl«i not take a book but ho saw tlm: bin-'t-ing go.d enrinsr"

CHI—sliiio

111 between

the pages when could nut makeou: writ without beimr in danger of sVjj ping her nam'1 into the blanks when lie heard the delictus voice murmuring in his ear4 \vli«*n ne waked, aut-1 walked all ni^i.i iiu 1 no liulo spirit when he slept. He made compromise with, himself— it was nil ho could—and declared that atany rate he would not dance with her again.

It was an idle eflort. He might al most as well have danced with her as have stood looking at her, quite unconscious of his general air, and all the lov er in his glancp. Mrs. Barnetta beck oned him to her side he stood there just as Rosa caino up from her promenade and left the arm of one cavalier to be carried off by another, "liou are not dancing, Mr. Malvin?" sho said. "Oh would vou hold my tan and handker chief?"" He followed them with his eye again as the music crashed into a dashing galop.

What right had that other man with his clasp about this darling? why did she suffer it? what decency was there in the society that commanded such sac ritice? In his embrace—whirling wild ly to his wild music! "You do hate him, don't you?", said Mrs. Barnetta,

could slay—" He started. Was he car rvinghis heart upon his sleeve for duw to peck at? "O, I don't pity you a bit, laughod Mr?. Barnetta, lo ..-toned. And putting out her hand, she took Rosa's fan and opened it as she talked. "Any body," said she, "with such a power of making misery, ought to enjoy it." "I—1 beg your pardon Mrs. Barnetta, but if you read me riddles, I must ask vou also to be their Sphinx." "Ohno it was the function of the Sphinx to propound the riddles, not to solve them." And Mrs. Barnetta laughed her low, pleasant laugh. "You do not come to us any more," she said "And as I used to be in your confidence before you deserted me, I can imagine the reason. I do not like to say that it is very shabby treatment of an old friend. Of course I cannot say that it is rude. But if you do not dance with Miss Mercier this evening, I shall be fearfully offended. I am not going to have my little treasure made unhappy for the sake of the safety of the prince of rfll good fellows himself."

Lucian changed color so suddenly that Mrs. Barnetta put out her hand in affright, hall expecting to see him fall but fn a moment he was himself again.

Lo you— Is Miss Mercier—" he be gan, and paused half-way. As if I should say another word, and had not already said altogether too much!" said Mrs. Barnetta. "There, she has left dancing and gone for an ice. What do j'ou think of round dances, on the whole?" And they were, to all appearances, deep in a discussion of the subject when Rosa returned and swept her late partner a courtesy, and took shelter on tbe other side of Mrs. Barnetta. Perhaps she had seen the way Luclan's eye nad followed her, and it bad given her a certain illumination that made her shrink.

Just then the band began one the Hungarian waltzes, a sweet and rapturous measure that set the blood itself to dancing in one's veins. Why not One last dance, one last moment of ecstasy, ere he went out forever into loneliness. Directly he had crumpled the bit of lace into his pocket, and was bending before the little Rosa, who seemed suddenly to have lost ali her light gayety, and who pnt out her band to Dim with a conscious burning blush upon her face that his heart reflected in a melting glow. And then tbere waa no thought of pride, or of negation, or forgetting the music was swinging them at its will they circled in each other's arms to its delicious and delirious movement—eternity would Hardly have any bliss for lover* beyond the bliss of this moment. Yet only a moment was it. a few moments, a brief sweet space of half-conscious time and then a ndnt recognition crept through Its spell and warned Lndan of the poison in this honey. He was in the act of surrender be was about to seal his fate and that of this dear girl to take her away from ber father's wealth and her luxurious ease, and oondemn her to the carking cares of poverty. All his nature rebelled: he cboMnot to be swayed by this melody of horns and strings he would have no passion, neither music nor love, ao master his soul as to become

IlOr lOTOf lliwnyi nw mma ww ftrtlllL tbe element in which it swam, an exclu-

sion of thought and fear, of sight and

TERRE TT VfrHfr h^TUftD^T Igtnsto

rive his Oflde: TVjblm Cbat pride m^ant COMMON CRIMES OF COXTMM&A-self-renieet io -witarrt Ji«r, theebUdOl' ,TlOJf. opulenoe, meant either to sell himself There are car®!®* for a price, or to reduce her to trouble and weariness in which her love might soon wear out. He did not doubt that

cursed his fcte that foraej him to hope haust the superlatlves of the snoh a thine that presently the love on the most ordinary

would pass, and some one who would

handkerchief that he remembered to have taken from his pocket and to have tossed upon the table tbere. It was not on tbe table it was nowhere in the room. In a panic, be rang the bell and whon it was answered, instituted an in-

3eed,

uiry concerning the thing. Yes, inSusan had seen it, and thought it was so yellow and soiled she would take it down and wash it. "Lore, Sir, it was the dirtiest little rag." she said. "Just straw-color. And I thought I'd give it a run through tbe tub and the bluing and make it fit to be seen."

Good hoavens!"he cried, with a horrified flash of remembrance of having somewhere heurd that the yellower lace was, the more precious was it, and that it never wax w.mbed on any account except bv pen|'H who did nothing else. ••Let ino hiivo.it nt once." And in five •••.in :ti*s aiterw.ud Susan stood before him up the little limp rag, and with a pan if as from the blow of something unknown and dreadful, the conversation that he had heard over the transom of the hotel door, a year or two ago, swept back upon his recollection.

Five hundred dollars! And gone to grief in a moment! And he could no more replace it than he could ily, without what was the some to him as absolute rnin. Of course he must replace it he could not be indebted, through the stupidity of bis servant, or through any pother means, to Miss Mercier in that sum. Without any doubt she valued such a bit of lace: and if any thing uere needed to demonstrate to him the wisdom of the course he had decided on, and the utter absurdity of having dared for a single moment to look with love 011 one of tnese darlings of fortune, it was the fact that her handkerchiefs alone were items of five hundred dollars. What a shame! what a wickedness! what a preposterous folly How could a youngj man marry Ho burned with indignation then.

But to replace it: one-third of the sum he was saving to redeem his little property from mortgage—all the money he

I1i.11 don't ron?" uun really had in the world beyond that for in his ^ar If looks his daily expenses! It was the ruin of 111 hiS .ar. it iOOKS

1,K,a

omliiMnna

11 ouu

lhey

When he awoke it waa late io the day. orninary performc®j?,J hMutv is All hta trouble ru.l.el over him, but fo jpw«it iTmomwit".!! bi«"wiTrto repel It ri«a too. "«.! pretty and tbelr He dressed himself leisurely* bo meant admiration is

to call that night on Miss Mercier, re- abused epithets, store her handkerchief that he had for- magnificent, gotten to give back after the dance, and natlng, charming,

^some indirect way let he. know that etc. Any

he intended never to marrry, and so their code is sibatneful a rem seal his doom beyond hope. He went conform to their wl"he" *tApr^h.".„ into the next rooin when he bad com- a iCommon (»ld n,j,,rnncn'M pie ted his toilet, and. alter attending to and a headache is „„e or two other .Ifcir., looked for the JXiSd"tMrTSn1l .re beautlitai with every virtue and their enemies are the ottscourings of the race. They so completely exhaust the language on common occasions that n« words are left to give expression to their deeper feelings.

HID NRI^A T.LIAT

his hopes, his ambitions, his pride, that scorned so to be any body'»« debtor it threw him back in the race, how long! But it must be done. He had a trine over live hundred dollars in the National Solvency Bank. He drew his check for the necessary sum, and folded it away in his pocket-book, and then went about his business till night-fall, when lie came back to his dreary rooms, and made himself ready for a call at Mrs. Barnetta's.

The night had never seemed so beautiful, the stars so large and keen and far above the earth, so remote aud cold— they typified all the dear and happy things of life forever removed from him. His heart was chilled and his face was white when he stood at last in Mrs. Barnetta's drawing-room, and she floated forward to meet him. He had not asked for Miss Mercier.

I believe these little trifles are rather costly, and if you will procure one"— and he laid the chock he had drawn that morning and the little limp rag in Mrs. Barnetta's band—"as like the original a: possible, I—" "My doar Mr. world are you talking of?" cried Mrs. Barnetta^ "Have you monoy to throw about in this way Five hundred dollars—what is it for?"

To replace Miss Mercler's handkerchief, If you will be so good as to make tbe purchase."

Like this said Mrs. Barnetta, hold ing up the little limp rag by one corner. Like that."said Lucia

ke that," said Lucian. "Oh, that is too good Barnetta, with a peal of laughter. "It is too good, it is too absurd! What creatures men are! Did you imagine that this bit of finery was worth all that?—this little serid of grass-cloth and German lace? No wonder the young men don't marry, then 1 My dear Mr. Malvin, this miserable handkerchief cost exactly two dollars and a half, and was nearly worn out at that. Did you imagine, too, that my poor little Rosa coula wear five hundred-dollar handkerchiefs, without a cent to her name?"

Without a cent to her name?" cried Lucian, springing to his feet. "Exactly. Aha! Is that Jhetrouble? Now why didn't you come and talk it all over with me in tbe way you used to do, and save younelf all this vexation, and save my little Roea too? What an absurd boy you are I Another would have waited to hear that she was an heiress you wait to bear that she is pennllem. Well, she Is, if that satisfies you, except for what I shall leave my little god-daughter when I die—which will not be al present, D. V. And there she Is in the next room now. But, bless me—"

Lndan had not waited for the rest of tbe invocation. He was already in the next room, and Roea was already in his

a,,ua*

ru°m™!fimd^ra"nM"o0„',i,,Shoito We loot. «t do*tb throMh U» break the enchantment the real world ^M^h'the fllwed crept back upon his sen»es, he heard the Jim tune, beyond this cloud that wrapped represent# him. them, breaking again into itadisilnctive [Lowell. measure, and exerting his will, he con- jt were better to have no opinion of trolled tbelr slope and paused at lam be- Qod *tall than such an opinion as Is unside Mrs. Barnetta, ana with a low bow, ^riby of him for one la unbelief and and without a word, gave Rosa back jj,- «n«»i»ni Mrtainl* into that lady's caie, and passed Into the

le other is. contumely and certainly iperstltion is the reproach of the Deity. [Bacon. The nice, calm, cold thought, which In woman shapes itself ao rapidly that they »ught, should al-

crowd and out of the place and home to his lonely room*. It was daybreak before be sought re- The nice, calm, cold thou pose, walking the floor till then, hardly woman shapes itaelf ao rap! knowing what he did or what he hardly know it as thought, thought, but intent upon conquering ways travel to the lips via the heart. It hftaself? He would give the world for does in the women whom all love Roea Mender's love, but be would not and admire.—[Holmes.

Another class includes those who vio-

late Tlie laws of etymology. They have been thoroughly trained in the grammar of the language, and yet refuse to be regulated by its precepts. This class li a large one, and includes among its au dacious sinners: 1. Those who use the objective case for the nominative one as, "It is me for "It is I"It is herfor "It is she "It is us," for "It is we." 2. Those who use tlfe nominative case for the objective as, "Between you and I" for "Between you and me "Like you and I," for "Like you and me know who you mean," for "I know whom you mean." 3. Those whose subjects and verbs do not agree in number and person as, "Says I," for "Say I," "You was," for "You were"My feet's cold," for "My feet are cold "There's thirty," "There are thirty." 4. Those wno use the indicative mood for the subjunctive If was you," for "If I were you." 5 Those who use the present tense for the past "I see you yesterday," for "T saw you yesterday." 6. Those who use the intransitive verb for the transitivj "If he is a mind to," for "If be has a mind to." 7. Those who u3e incorrectly the much abused verbs sit and lie as, "I am going to lay dowm," for "I am going to lie down "I laid down this morning." for "I lay down this morning "I shall set there," for "I shall sit thero." 5. Those who use the adverb for tbe adjective as, "Sho looks beautifully,'" for "She looks beautiful or its oppo site, "She walks graceful," tor "She walks gracefully." 9. Those who uso a plural adjectivt with a singular noun as, "Thoso kind,' for "That kind "Six pair" for "Six pairs." 10. Those who use the compound relative for the conjunction as, "I do not know but what I will," for "I do not know but that I will." 11. Those who use the objective case after the conjunction "than as, "He knows more than me," for "He knows more than I." 12. Those who use double negatives as, "No you don't, neither," for "No you don't either." 13. Those who use the wron proposition 'as, "Different to," for "Different from "In regard of," for "With re gard to." 14. Those who use the superlative degree for the comparative as, "Tbe oldest of the two," for "The older of the two." 7IIE CRUEL MOTHER AND THE

MODEL BOY.

It is a delicate errand, Mrs. Barnet r" rr—0 r—Z ta," said he, with a dreary attempt at and this very good boy may have been a smiling. "But the truth is that my little too smart and saucy. maid, in hor officious kindness, has done Little Mary was prettily dressed, and such damage to a bit of Miss Mercier's standing in front of the house waiting property that I must rtplaco it. And I for her mother to go out to ride. A have come to beg you, out of your tidy boy, dressed in coarse clothes, was friendship for me, to transact the affair, passing, when the little girl said. Come if such an article can be replaced here, here, boy, and sake hands wi me. I

The two didn't belong to each other

A /Ine) IrA r*r\ nanioH Jr»*

dotaboy dus' like 00, named Joey." The boy'laughed, shook bands with her, and said, "I've got a little girl just like you, only she hasn't any little cloak with pussy-fur on it!"

Here a lady came out of the door and

Malvin, what in tne said: "Mary, you must not talk with bad boys ou the street. I hope you haven't taken anything from her? Qe right along, and never stop here again, boy J"

That evening the lady was called down to speak with a boy in the hall. He was very neatly dressed, and stood with his hat in his hand. It was tbe enemy of the morning. "I came to tell you that I am not a bad boy," he said, "I go to Sunday school, and help my mother all I' can. I never tell lies, or

quarrel, norsay bad words and I don't like a lady to call me names, and ask me if I've stolen her little girl's clothes off her!"

I am very glad you're so good," said the lady, laughing at tbe boy's earnestness. "Here's a quarter of a dollar for you." "I don't want that/' said Ben, holding his bead up very high. "My father works in a foundry, ana has lots of money. You got a boy bigger than I, haven't you?" "Yes why?" "Does he know the commandments?" "I'm afraid not very well." "Can be say the Sermon on the Mount, and the twentythird pealm, and the golden rule?" "I'm very much afraid be cannot," said the lady, laughing at the boy's bravery. "Doesn't he ride on his pony on Sunday, instead of going to church "I'm afraid he does, but ne ought not," said tbe lady blushing a little.

Mother don't know 1 came here," said the little fellow, "but I thought I would just come round and see what kind of folks you were, and—and—I guess mother would rather your boy wouldn't oome rourd our doors, because she don't like little Sosan to talk to bad boys izrthe street. Good evening." And tbe boy was gone.

9VATI0NS.

People who have done things which have made them fiunous often have what are called "ovations." Hundreds make a procession, or go Into a great hall and make speeches all toebow that they recognise what the great man has done. After be Is dead tbey build a stone monument to bis memory, and perhaps celebrate his birthday for a few vean. Men work very hard sometimes for a whole lifetime to earn a few such honors. But how much better it would be for a man to have every person In his own town know and love his face because it was full of kindly cheer! Such

,'fi

occasions.

who preface

make her happier would claim her. At on trivia}!®,?~rLrt» "^eiousT length, with maledictions in the act, hs «wrger "By*»Plt*£ ®^0,0^0!u emptied hla pockets of thegloves, hand- "Thunder!" "You hM! «o, you kercbiefc, and trifles there, and went to don't! I" uw-m" "And an 1 «*d, ,l.h,l».« ourtaina, and, worn out in body and mind, slepi to the blessed and thorough obiivion oir all the world. "jolly," a

It Is

a funeral is

exP"^A,V

h-niitirul

delicious^xquisi

v\0l^r»^lnr.'^

™(uS5 to

MOTayOJJM y^arin he walks on the enters his own

house or the house of another.

ORIGIN OF FASHIONS*

Traoe a fcahion to its origin, and you will nearly always And that It springe from the consciousness of a defect and awiah to maak it. The fktberland of crinoline is Spain, and a Spanish queen firrt wore hoops to dissimulate unequal hipe.

An actress of tbe Boulevards, who committed suicide by throwing herself over a balcony a few years ago, revived the high-heeled shoes, which Louis Quatorse originally brought into fashion to appear taller than the King of Spain at tbe meeting In the Isle of Pheasants.

A French lady who derives a prestige from rank, fortune and striklng beauty, scalded her arm three winters back. An ugly mark bore witness to the accident. She thought of wearing, to conceal it, tboae long-armed gloves, which, out of mercy to the plebean wivea of Napoleon's marsnala and generals, the Empress Josephine adopted.

Tbe bats slanting down over the eyebrows were tbe result of a lady of rank losing her front hair.

Sueen

Elizabeth's neck was yellow thin hence tbe ''stiff muslin mane."

Tbe double veil of black aha white tulle was contrived by a lady of bad complexion. She used pearl powder to hide her red skin, and the white- and black veil to dissimulate the pearl powder, which would have shown on the black net.

An old Parisian beau, with an experience of more than half a century of fashionable society there and at tbe Continental gambling and watering places, maintains that when a fashion is not traceable to a deformity, it must have originated in the desire of .a reigning or rising belle to crush a rival.

ii SUDDEN A TTACHMEN [Frem the Literature of Kissing.] It is related of Curran,the famous Irish orator and wit, that he was one evening sitting in a box at the French opera between an Irish noblewoman whom he had accompanied there and a very young French woman. The ladies soon manifested a strong desire to converse, but neither of them knew a word of the other's language. Curran, of course, volunteered to interpret, or in his own words, "to be the carrier of their thoughts, and accountable for their safe deliverance." They went at it at once, with all the ardor and zest of the Irish and French nature combined but the interpreter took the liberty of substituting his own thoughts for theirs, and instead of remarks upon the dresses and the play, ho introduced so many finely turned compliments that the two ladies soon became completely infatuated with e-icli other. At last, their enthusiasm becoming sufficiently .great, the wily interpreter, in convey nig some very innocent questions from his countrywoman, asked the French lady "if sho wouid favor her with a kiss." Instantly springing across the orator, she im printed a kiss on oaeh cheek of the Irish lady, who was amazed at her sudden attack. and often afterward asked Mr. Curran, "what in the world could thai Frerch girl have meant by such conduct in such a place He never revealed the seciet, and the Irish lady always thought French girls were veryardent and sudden in their attachments.

FItESCH 8TRA TE G1 [From Stin Antouio Hcrald.J When the French were in aiexico me stage robberies in the vicinity of Monterey became almost as frequent as they are getting to bo between here and Kingsbury. With tbe practical common sense for which the French are distinguished when they go about killing people the French General at Monterey devised a plan that worked like a charm. He picked out half a dozen of his smallest Zouaves and dressed them up as females and put them in the stage. Ea?h unprotected female had a short breechloading carbine conoealed under bis pettipants, and they covered their demure faces by veils. Of course the robbers surrounded the stage, and the ladies, with, an excess of feminine modesty climbed out of the vehicle and fell in line with the rest of the passengers, when of a sudden an epidemic broke out among those Mexican patriots, for each lady, on an average, destroyed about three of them, and the rest lost all taste for female society and went away disgusted. The ladies returned to town in high glee, but for a long time tbe Mexican bandits entertained such a lofty veneration for the gentler sex that an old bonnet and a shawl di«layed conspicuously in a stage secured it immunity from interruption.

A BLIND phrenologist lectured at the Christian Church at Paris, Texas. There was a large crowd of ladies and gentlemen present. At the close of the lecture a committee was appointed to select candidates for examination. The lucky man was the Presbyterian pastor. The uinu nao wuw m. blind man of science proceeded to say that the doctor was very fond of tbe fair sex—in fact, as Joaepbus said of Solomon, "immoderately fond of women:" that if his wife were to die he would lose no time in looking out for another that he had a splendid appetite, loved good eating ana liked to "dine out," and was sure to make it understood when he did that Dr. Johnson was tbere, etc. Some one in the audience wanted to know about his religion. The sightless scientist resumed: "Publicly be is very religious, but privately be Is not troubled with piety he lias a fine mechanical head, and while he would make a fine blacksmith, he would not make much of a preacher."

Here the doctor turned very red in the face, and said: "Sir, I have been a preaober of the gospel for forty years!

The blind man shook his head, as much as to say, "That's too thin."

Piety Is not an end, but a means of attaining the highest degree of culture by perfect peace of mind. Hence it is to be observed that those who make piety an end and aim in Itself for tbe most part become hypocrites.

Had I a docen sons each in my love alike—I had rather have eleven die nobly for their country, than one voluptuously surfeit out of action.—[Shak"P*"®'

T.mm while we Inform you that an advertisement Inserted in Thursday's and Saturday's Mail will fell Into the hands of 20,000 persons. Tbe Mail is sold on Saturday by more than ISO newsboys. Tbe Thursday paper goes to almost every postofflce within fifty miles ot thfo city. It Is sold by newsboys on the streets of all the surrounding towns. AU advertisements go Into both papers for one price. The Mail Is the people'a paper—everybody takes it. 'Ten cents a line la ail that Is charge for local or personal advertisements—five cents a line for each paper. Cheapest and best advertising afforded by any paper in the city.

Saturday JSyenmg.

MATT,,

FOR THE YEAR

1876. 'J

A MODEL WEEKLY PAPER FOR THE HOME.

TERMS: ..

One year, (with chremo) 12 00 8lx months, (without etaremo) 91 00 Three months, (without chromo) ....50 ots.

Mall and office Subscriptions will, Invariably, be discontinued at expiration ef time paid for.

Enoouraged by the extraordinary success which has attended the publication of THE SATURDAY EVENING MAIL, the publisher has perfected arrangements by which it will henceforth be one of the most, popular papers in the jiVest. J1 7

.' THE CHOICE OP

Two Beautiful Chromos

Presented to each yearly subscriber, from and after tills date. These beautiful pictures Just from the hands of the French ohrom artists, are faithful copies of oil paintings by the artist W. H. Baker, of Brooklyn. On$, entitled I

"Cherry Time"

Represents a bright faced boy, comiag^rom the orchard, bountifully laden with the redripe fruit. The other, entitled

"Lily of the Field" I

Is a beautiful little girl, with eue of the sweetest of faces, gathering lilies in the field. One Is a wood scene, the other has an open meadow in the back ground. They are of striding beauty.

For one dollar e^tra (83.00 ill all,) wo will send The Mall one year and both chromos mounted ready for framing. Those pictures are catalogued and sold IM the art storos at FOUR DOLLARS EACH.

FRAMES.

We ha\^^fi!ide arrangements vrith an extensive manufactory of frames by which we can furnlRh for One Dollar a frame ufeually sold for $1.50 and 81.75. These frames are of the best polished wain ut and gi 11. Here Is the

BILL OF PRICES.

The Mall one year and choice of Chrr mo 83 00 The Mail one year aad Both Chromes mounted 3 00 The Mail one year and Both Chromos

FRAMED 5 00

THE SATURDAY EVENING MAIL is an Independent Weekly Newspaper, elegantly printed on eight pages of book paper, nnd aims to be, In every sense, a Family Paper. With this aim In view, nothing will appear in Its columns that cannot be read aloud in the most refined fireside circle.

CLUBBING WITH OTHER PERIODICALS. We are enabled to offer extraordinary inducements In the way of dubbing with other periodicals. We will furnish TI1E SATURDAY EVENING MAIL, l'HICE S2.00 PER YEAR, and either

ti1P above Chro

mos with any of the periodicals enumerated below at greatly reduced rates. These periodicals will be sent direct from the offices of publication. Here is tlio list:

SEMI-WEEKLY.4 -vhili

Semi-Weekly New York Tribune, prlco $3.00, The Mall and .Chromo 94 60

WEEKLY PAPERS.

Indianapolis Journal, price 82.00, The^ Mall and Chrwmo 18 60 Indianapolis Sentinel, price 82.00, The

Mail and Chromo 8 60 IT. Y. Tribune, price $2.00, The Mall and Chromo 8 80 Toledo Blade, price $2.00, The Mail and

Chromo 3 80 JV. Y. Sun, Tbe Mail and Chromo 3 00 frairie Farmer, price $2.00, The Mall and Chromo 8 68 Western Rural, price $2.50, The Mall and

Chromo 8 60 fViicago Advance, price $3.00, The Mall and Chromo 4 80 Chicago Interior, price $2.60, The Mail and Chromo 4 00 Chicago Inter-Ocean, price $1.60, The

Mall and Chromo 8 26 Appleton't Journal, price $4.00, The Mall and Chromo...... 3 28 Rural New Yorker, price $8.00, The Mall and Chromo.. "v

4 26

Hearth and Home, price $34)0, The Mail and Chromo 4 80 MHhoditt, price *2.50, The Mall and

Chromo 8 SO Harper't W*Mv, price $L00, The Mall and Chromo 8 60 Harper'1 Batar, price $4.00, The Mail and Chromo 6 00 Prank Le»U*$ JUvMrated ffewtpaper, price $4.00, The Mail and Chromo.—.. 6

The Mail and Chremo

LetHeM Chimney Corner, price $4.00, Tlio Moll and Chremo 6 00 Rout' and OirU' Weekly, price $2.50, the

Mall and Chromo 8 78

MONTHLIES.

Arthur's Heme Magazine, price 12.60, The Mall and Chromo.... $4 00 Petersen's Magaeine, price $2,00, The

Mail and Chromo 8 00 Amerioan Agriculturist, price $1JSO. The Mall and Chromo 8 00 9emorest's Monthly, price $3,00, 1 year,

uidey's Lady's Book, price $3.00, The Mall and Chromo 4 00 Ltttle Corporal, price $1^0,

The Mall and

Chromo. 8 0i 8cr0mer,s Monthly, price $4.00, The Mall and Chromo 6 20

Monthly, price $4J0, The Mall

and Chromo —.. 6 20 Old and New, pries H00, ThetMall and Chremo. 8 00 Overland Monthly, price $100, The Mall and Chromo..- 5 00 Harper's Mapatimt, price HM, The Mall ami Chromo 6 10 Gardener's JfonitAfy, price $2J», The Mall and Chromo. 08 Young Folks Rural, The Mall and Chromo—..... The Nursery, prloe $1.60, The Mail and

Chromo. 8 10 •St. NloMas, price f&OO, The Mail and Chromo «o

All (he premiums offered by the above pub lieetions are included la this clubbing arrangement.

CLUBBING WITH COUNTY PAPERS. We have made arrangements to furnbrt^ TUB MAIL, with Chrome, and any one of the Newspapers in the neighborhood of Terrs Haute all for 18X0.

JUST LOOK AT IT!

The Mall, price $2 00 Your County paper, price. 2 00 Tbe Chromo, wortiu.™^. 4 00

Totals.. $8 00

All these—($8X0)—for $3X0. Address P. ft. WSSTPALL, Publisher Saturday Evening Mail,

TERREHAUTE, IND