Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 5, Number 37, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 13 March 1875 — Page 1

Vol 5.—No. 37.

THE MAIL

A PAPER FOR THE PEOPLE.

ANTON AND CLEOPA TRA. [A.fler witnessing the drama at the Opera House, this evening, there will be additional interest in reading the following poem, the grand composition of General Lytic.)

I am dying. B»ypt, drin«. Ebb* tbe crimson life tide f»»t. And the dark Plutonian shadows

Gatheroi tbe eveninr Mast: Let thme arms, oh. queen support me, Uush thy »obi and lend thine ear: LI*ten to the great heart s8er*ts,

Tbou.and thou alone, must hear,

Though my scarred and veteran legion* B*u-their ea*les bl«h no more. And H17 wrecked andsesttered galley*

Strew dark Actium's fatal shore: Thoufh no flittering guard* surround me, Prompt to do their masters will— I must perish like a Roman,

Die, the great Triumvir still.

£*t not Cesar's servile minions Mock the lion thus laid low. 'Twas no foeman shand that slew him, 'Twashls own that struok the blow. Here then! pillowed on thyboeom.

Ere his star fades quite away— Him, whe drunk with thy caresses, Madly flung his Ufe away.

Should the base plebian rabble Dare assall'my fam-*in Rome, Where noble spouse Octavia

Weeps within her widowed home! Seek her—say the god have told me— Altars— Annus—circling wings— Th»t her blood, with mine comminried,

Yet shall meant the throne of kings.

And for thoe, star-ejrea Egyptian, Glorious sorceress of the Nile! Light the p«th to 8tygUn horrors

With the splendors of thy smile. Olve this Csssar crowns and arches, Let hi* brow the laurel twine I can «corn the senate's triumph,

Triumphicg in love like thine,

Jam djrinjj— Egypt—dying

»inii

Hark I

thing

insulting foeman's err, Quick, my falonion!

Tber are coming I

Let me front them ere I die.

Ahl

no more amid the battle Will my heart exulting swell Ists

and

Osiris guard th»e,

OtEQfATEA—Rom*—farewell.

Night-Hawk.

sphllin' settle.

N. U. bad thought of saying something encouraging about spelling matches this week, but the thing has broke out ail over the city and bids fair so became still more contagious, and the less about the epidemio the better it will be for the people. N. H., however, must say that he was astonished and mortified at seeing the editor of The Ma" fall at tho first flro, at the first match, and oti such a word as "aggrandizement." A lawyer, who fell shortly afterwards remarked that: "Westfall misspelled that word just for notoriety —tho notoriety of boing the first one out." Satisfied that this was a base rflandor, N, H. interviewed the editor, and baa his 'pon honor that the lawyer is mistaken—the schoolmaster, in giving out tho word, pronounced it "a-gran-dlzo-mont"—-one of the silent—and thinking more of gotting his class into a straight line facing tho audience, instead of a semi-circle as it was bent on doing, ho spoiled it sort of phonetically —discovered the slip—the lap*ua linguae —when it was too late—wanted to go back for that other twin "g," but that wouldn't "gee," and, with a muttered g-whlllikins, sat down amid "storms of applause." His sorest regret seems to b« In the loss of much anticipated pleasure, during the epidemic, as leaders of tho spelling matches will hesitate to chooso him on their sides. With tkb», N. II. will "pass" en •his subject and pay his respects to another "game," in which a "full hand" la required to make a "point," namely:

WKDtINO PRKMCNTR.

A kingdom for a present, was the wish of N. It. the other evening when he found himself at a first-class wedding without a suitable present for the bride. N. H. ploada ignorance tor having been oaught at such a place under such embarrassing circumstances. If the Invitation N. II. received had been as luktructivo as it should have been, and specified that "no guest's presence would bo desired unless accompanied with a oostly present." N. H. would have been saved the humiliation of being snubbed by the young bride's mother. But since N. H. was not advised of the necessity of taking a present for the bride in order to be a welcome guest and was made the subject of all the Jokes on account of his ignorance he now proposes to speak his convictions on the subject tor the special comfort of his ignorant Mends. And in the fihrt place, X. H. wishes to be understood correctly on this subject, and will just say that first, last, and all the time, he If in favor of this new-fangled arrangement and tor once at least in his life-tiine stands hand and heart with the aristocracy. It is perfectly simple, when one understands it correctly to see the great advantage that grows out of this manner of wishing the bride and groom much happiness over the old fogy style that was the custom when N. H. was married, of shaking hands and kissing the bride without ever giving the couple anything to remember you by. Every girl that gets married does not happen to have wealthy parents, and it costs the old man an immense amount of cash and stuff get his daughter in proper shape for fhshionable wedding. And then again if they have a supper—they call it reception at the

-x ... *1 j*a-»'•»* iftt.il iif Itl** 3$

house now—that adds largely to the expense—as It Is popular among fashionable people to get all the work done —such as cooking—at the bake-shops, So you can see at a glance, it's mighty expensive business to the parent, this

of trimming a girl out according to the fashionable dictation of society, to get married and of course there must be some remuneration oytside the son-in-law for all this trouble and expense. And where is it expected to come from? From the invited guests of course. Now there is but one genteel way of getting round this thing of paying to see the couple joined in the bonds of holy wedlock. It would be but a species of barbarism to give money and consequently there is but one manner of contributing, namely: the thing called "Wedding presents." N. H. noticed one peculiarity in tho distribution of presents the other evening, which struck him as not being strictly in keeping with the financial ability of the several givers the poor—In the estimation of the world in almost every instanoe giving the most valuable presents. In fact N. H, was not a little surprised to see one of his friends who has owed him a small amount for years, which he considers lost, and who is scarcely able to obtain what nature requires to feed and clothe his family, toss over a present to the bride, which eclipsed in elegance and value that of the wealthiest gentleman's present there. This Is not right, and N. H. enters his solemn protest against such unfairness. Let a price be established and the amount based on a financial equality and let each class receive on the card of invitation the value of the present he or she is to bring. By this, or similar means, the existing iifficulty which new embarrasses a great many can be obviated and great assist* ance rendered to very many in making their purchases. N. H. would not throw a straw in the way of this mode of getting all one can for the girl and only offers these suggestions in the way of popularizing the custom. By the way N. H. will now give notice that he seriously contemplates getting a divorce from his present wife, and marrying her over again, simply to make a big wedding, and get "stuff" enough to go to housekeeping. He is hard up, and don't know how else to raise the funds. He solicits a full attendance both of church members and non-professors, as no preference will be shown on account of creed, so they are well accompanied with the needful.

Husks and Nubbins.

No. 149.

AFFECTED MODE8TY.

Modesty is a virtue which the poets from time immemorial have loved to honor and extol. It would be an act of presumption on our part to contradict so great an array of testimonials, even if we felt conscientiously moved to do so, but so far from that we are disposed to Indorse the judgment of the poets and assent to their unanimous verdict. True modesty, by which we mean that which la real and genuine, when not excessive, Is a rare virtus and is becoming consistantly rarer. Such a modesty does not permit one to over-rate his abilities or to think of himself more highly than he ought to think. It leads to a just estimation of his powers and discourages him from undertaking tasks which are dlsproportioned to his abilities. But there is a kind of modesty—false modesty, or sin affectation of modesty rather, which is not a virtue but a blemish. This spedos of modesty is lrequently paraded by public speakers before an audience. The attendants on the Brooklyn city court had an excellent specimen of it a few days ago when General Tracy opened by his speech for the defence. Staggered by the magnitude of the task he had essayed the learned counsellor delivered himself of the following bit of buncombe: "I am oppressed by the burden of responsibility which the overkindness of my associates has laid upon me, and would gladly surrender it to other and abler hands. Nothing, indeed prevents me from sinking beneath the tssk I have undertaken, but a clear conviction of the absolute innocence of my client, and the assurance of my eminent associates that his case is too strong to be Injured by my unskillful advocacy." What, now, we submit to any sane person, la the force of such a piece of arrant affectation as that? Gen. Tracy, in his heart, believes that he is ss a ble*r lawyer as any of his colleagues and is certainly satisfied that bo is not so unskillskllirul an advocate as to Injure anycause. Why this self-depreciation, tikis voluntary utterance of what, were anyone else to otter it, would make an incurable wound in the lawyer's vanity? There is but one explanation for it, via: |t was an ingenious method of drawing admiration upon the very ability* he affected to despise. This kind of modesty ws havent much use for*

BSCBXW AniHcmnw.

A newspaper critic, in reviewing a recently published work, speaks of the author's style ss bring ••strong without redundancy of adjectives," as if a style cothd be strong viU redundancy of sd-

jectives. It is as true as it is paradoxical that the fower words used for the aake of giving strength the stronger die language will be. Young and inexperienced writers abound in qualifying words, in adjectives and superlatives. Their sentences become weak under the very weight of them. By-and-by tbey study to omit words, instead of to multiply them, anxious to chasten and simplify their style. The strongest sentences in the language are those wl.ich have less than half a dozen plain words in them, as anyone can see by turning to Emerson, Thoreau or Carlyle. Some of Hugo's incisive little sentences, made up of a noun and verb, are models of concentrated eloquence. Noiuing is a surer indication of weaknessjn a writer or speaker than the use of many words, for it shows that be has not at his command the right words of which he would need but few. It is when we are uncertain what we mean to convey, or else lack the fitting words to phrase It, that we flounder about In loose and superfluous paraphrases. Grace, strength, precision, eloquence, everything beautiful and persuasive In language, Is to be sought in meagreness rather than In superfluity, We cannot use too few or too simple words if only they be the words which best convey our meaning. Young writers, beware of the adjectives and superlatives. They will keep you from rising more than any other weight. Think to the point and write to the point, as plainly, as simply, as directly as the one-syllabled Saxon words of the language will permit and when these fail you (as they rarely will) take refuge In the smallest polysyllable you can find. It will be a hard exercise but it will be a profitable one.

PARTYISM.

Those were noble words which Senator Andrew Johnson is reported to have said a few days ago, when, interrogated as to the course he intended to pursue in the new career to which he has been called in the United States Senate, be replied that he would not be a partisan, that we havd too much of party and that he proposed to support such measures as appeared to him to be best for the country and not place himself in a position where he must do a thing because it was a party measure or oppose it at a party's dictation. If the new senator from Tennessee will live up to this line of conduct his will be one of the most useful if not the most popular records that bave been made in tho Senate for a long while. The senator has diagnosed our political disease correctly. Too much party—that is what ails us. Not that political parties are essentially or inherently bad on the contrary they are beneficial and necessary. But there is some mysterious influence pervading all things earthly which struggles to make the good evil, and spurs us mortals to ceaseless effort to prevent it. When we eat to surfeit our food turns to pbison In our blood when we work too hard we mako of our chlefest blessing a curse when we prolong our enjoyments beyond the limits which relentless nature has set they cease to afford us pleasure and become stale and unprofitable. And this strange principle runs through everything, struggling to destroy the delicate balance upon tho existence of which all our good depends. Political parties may be food or poison to the body politic, according to circumstances. When a party is free from corruption and is animated by a pure purpose to accomplish worthy and patriotic ends, it is a proper and necessary thing and desorves the support of all wellmeaning citizens. When, on the other hand, it is degraded into a mere machine for grinding out personal favors and advancing personal ambitions at the expense of the country's welfare and prosperity, it becomes a curse and should be trampled to pieces beneath the feet of the people. As a general thing political parties is this country are neither so pure nor so foul as the cases here cited but are of mixed good and evil, the one principle or the other predominating, as the case may be. Sometimes the good is sensibly in the ascendant while at others the bad is in lamentable excess. Hence there is a splendid field for the exercise of an unpartlsan spirit in choosing the good from among the evil measures presented and supporting the one while condemning the other. It is this volsntary choosing by the people of the party and the policy which, Iqr tho time being, contains the most good, that saves the nation from destruction. A few senators like Andrew Johnson, if he pursues the course he has indicated, will haves sensible influence in maintaining the national political balance.

The Jewish Messenger thus fixes the supreme period of man's life: "From forty to sixty, a nam who has properly regulated himself may be considered ss in the prime of life. His natural strength of constitution renders him almost Impervious to the attack of disease, and experience has given his jadgment the soundness of almost infallibility. His mind is resolute, firm and equal: all his functions ira in the highest order he assumes the mastery over business build? up competence on the foundation he has laid in early manhood, and through a period of life attended many gratifications.

TERRE HAUTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, MARCH 13, 1875. Price Five Cents*

People and Things.

Hell hath no fury like an Irishman corned. It is odd that nobody appears to have kissed Bo wen.

Of the reporters at the Beecher trial, 17 are Irishmen.

Young man, there's no room in this world for loafers.

The world is as we take It, and life Is what we make it. Moulton says be don't mind boing compared to Judas.

The word "cacophony" gaggod the best speller ia Xenia. ^3 JijJ If an Iowan embezzles he is more gently said to have "smouged."

A ridiculous editor regrets that Washington had no middle name. The Georgia legislature lias facetiously put a 925 tax en bachelors.

Singularly enough there is a sausagemaker in St. Louis named Link. Human beings belong to others as much as to themselves—[Golden Age.

Some men have a Sunday soul, which they screw on in due time, and take off again every Monday morning,

It must be unpleasant for a stuttering man in Berlin to hail a street car, because there they call a street car a pferdestrasseneisenbahnwages, lor short wi

The Lexington, Ky., Dispatch gives idleness, whisky and women" as the general causes which have led to the many shootings and killings of late in that State. "s

When they find a man in St. Louis who has not a plan of his own for the solution of the "social evil problem," they take him down to the river and pitch him in.

A rural New England moralist says: Give your son a good education and a settled purpose in life, and when he is a man he will not be content to sit back of a grocery stove and crack his finger ioints." "^'1 '.»'*• -pa

When a fellow comes to think that there are 14,223 locomotives climbing around this country, it doesn't seem strange that some of us occasionally get drunk and fall under them and get chewed up.

A Dnbuque boy was rather troubled for fear that be would not know his father when they both reached Heaven, but his mother eased bim, remarking:

All you have to do is to look for an angei with a red nose on him."

Now, there's a finished gentleman for you," said a fireman as he gazed upon the pieces of the engineer that had been scraped up and gathered to his fathers, after the last attempt to run a train on nothing.—[St. Joseph Herald.

Only a woman's hair! Who has not, some time in his life, picked such a golden thread from his best coat collar, and felt his heart beat the quicker for it? or gazed upon a tress laid away in some nook, and not felt the influence of tender memories! Only a woman's hair! and yet we don't like it in a biscuit.

A conductor in Burlington, Iowa, was recently made happy by having voted to him a badge at a public fair. Being called upon for a speech, be was hustled upon the platform. Looking ronnd for a moment, he ejaculated "Tickets," and retired. It was so effective that a boy yelled out, "Oh, go knock yourself down, old top."

A surgeon had just cut off a patient's leg. A Mend of the victim inquired anxiously whether the doctor thought he would soon get well. "He?" replied the doctor—"he nover had a chance." "Why, then, put him to the needless pain?" "Oh, you cannot tell a patient the truth all at once you must first of all amuse him a little."

A Vermont schoolmaster says be never felt unequal to any demand in the line of his profession, excepting on one occasion, when a farmer brought his bouncing fifteen-year-old daughter to the schooL, and, walking up to the master's desk, said: "That's my youngest gal, and if ever you catch her slidln' down hill with the boys I just want you to trounce her."

Senator Morton still has to be carried up and down the capitol steps. Tho same service was performed for Thad. Stevens during the last days be sored in the House. Stevens was borne in a chair by two young and stalwart Irishmen. "Ah, boys," said the great Commoner feebly one day, as they wen taking him up the capitol stops, "I sometimes wonder who will carry me when you are gone."

Forty-nine waiters at the Palmar House, In Chicago, bare struck against hash. Tbey used to got to eat whatever was left on the tables by the guests. Later anew steward restricted them to hash, made, so aver ths waiters, of pieces of old meat with siloes of Lemon in it to overcome the stale flavor. 80 tbey struck in a body, and their {daces have been filled by men whose stomachs can stand "lrmonade hash."

Good news to Carpet Buyers! Carpets Down! We only sell for Cash-FOSTER BROTHERS.

Feminitems.

Women are like adversity they try men's souls. Mrs. Abraham Lincoln is sojourning at St. Augustine, Fla.

Sweeping carpets in a room containing plants injures the latter. A Boston belle has her pet dog dyed a beautiful Magenta color.

A slice of the day of judgment," Beecher's name for Mrs. Moulton, sticks to her.

The bonnet of 1875 will have more spaco for trimming than there's been since '61.

Nine out of ten fashionable wbmen now wear the black veivot throat band for complexion purposes.

Miss Eastman, ia her woman suffrage argument at Boston, used the simile, "Eyes as bright as buttons on angels' coats."

The St. Louis Democrat reports that a new petticoat, made of roan leather, simple and light, has been Invented. Good gracious!

Mrs. Greenshaw of Alabama has eight grown-up daughters, and every one of them can shoot a squirrel's head off or play the piano.

The last way of enameling ladies is by hypodermic injections of arsenic dissolved in rose-water. It causes paralysis in time but, no matter, it does the business. &>• *4 •.? jgJ- \Jrf\-

A Boston woman who suspends from the shoulders says she often stands in the streets and weeps when she sees how much pain and anguish fashionable women suffer from overloaded hips.

Olive Logan says the extravagance of American women, so often the theme of masculine remark, is not so much displayed at routs and parties^—the proper scene of gorgeous apparel—as in the street, where extravagance is not merely extravagance, but vulgarity and folly.

A Brazilian lady is creating a great sensation in Paris. Sho has a yellow carriage, and the wheel hubs are of solid gold. The servants connected with the turnout number four—two in the box and two in the rumble. The harness Is gold-tipped, and the horses arc thoroughbreds.

An Iowa woman went to church one Sunday and "experienced religion." Arriving home, she called her children about her and said: "I am pious now, and I am going to give you two days to get religion. If you don't do it in that time I'll whale your hides off. I have learned my duty. Do you hear me

Mrs. Hontvet, who came very near being one of Wagner's victims in the Isle of Shoals tragedy, was one of the twelve who secured a pass to witness his execution. Wagner's threats to kill her in case he 'got clear, lor testifying against him, made her, as she says, "anxious to see with her own eyes the villain hung." -.j ,?

Tho girl at tEe age of tbree who is bored by grimacing aunts and uncles with the stereotyped query: "Tell me whom you love best?" probably hasn't the dimmest prescience that the question will be repeated to her by the light of the moon, or in a oozy sitting-room, in a far more impassioned manner, a dozen years or so later.

Phenia Epps, of Hamilton, Ohio, aaked her mother to take a note for her to a friend of the family living in a near street. The note when opened wss found to read, "This is a little ruse of mine to get mother out of the house, Before she can get back I will be on the cars with dear Lorenzo, and before night will be married."

To be deprived of the ballot is something which woman's consciousness of superiority may enable her to hear with patience but, In view of the legal fiction which asserts that man and wife are one, to be told, as a Brooklyn court has told a feir defendant, that woman has no right to open her husband's letters, is too much for feminine endurance.

Under the head of "Dying Words of Pious Women," a religious Journal gives the following: "Oh, those rays of glory!" said Mrs. Clarkson, when dying. "My God, I come flying to thee!" said Lady Alice Lucy. Lady Hastings said: "Oh, the greatness of the glory that is revealed to me 1" Beautiful the expression of the dying poetess, Mrs. Hemans: "I feel ss if I were sitting with Mary at the feet of my Redeemer, bearing the music of his voioe, and learning of him to be meek and lowly." Han* nah More's last words were, "Welcome joy!" "Oh, sweet, swsst dying!" said Mis. Talbot, of Reading. "If this be dying," said Lady Glenorchy, "it is the pleasantest thing imaginable.'* "Victory, victory through the blood of the Lamb" ssid Graoe Bennst, one ef the early Methodists. "I shall go to my Father this night," said Lady Huntingdon. The dying injunction of the mother of Wesley was, "Children, when I am gone, sing a song of prsiae to God!" To the above may be added the last words of Mrs. Manchester, who died recently in Pittsburg, sged one hundred and five years. She said, while dying: "I wss afiraid God bad forgotten me, he has left me in this world of sorrow so long."

Connubialities.

An economical farmer's daughter in Massachusetts put off her wedding day because eggs were forty cents a dosen and it would take two dozen for the wedding cakes and puddings.

A prominent Detroit Universalist some months ago, married a red headed widow with four children, and last week he remarked to a friend, "I was blind when I bolieved there is no hell. I see now!"

A man in Cincinnati attempted to commit suicide on account of family troubles, brought about he says by his mother-in-law, and now they are trying to make out that he is insane—probably because he didn't shoot his mother-in-law instead of himself. Some people are too critical.

A clergyman in Fond du Lac, W'is., publicly prayed: "Oh, Lord, Thou knowest that my hated wife is the one great.obstacle In the way of a revival in my church. Wilt Thou, irt tby goodness, remove her The next day the wife removed herself to her father's house, and now the petitioner is likely to be removod by his oongregation.

An Illinois man has sued for divorop on the ground that his wife has hit him on one spot on his head with the rolling pin for nineteen years, and his physician tells him that ho will certainly have softening of the brain unless the woman selects some other point. She declares that she is too old to change htr habits, hence the suit.

Punch calls matrimony the "common chord of two flats." Marry your son when you will, your daughter when you oan. 1*^

An Indianapolis mother, whose daughter was soon to marry, told that female that she might select from a lot of furniture stored in the garret such articles as she desired for housekeeping. Tho old family cradle was found in the oentre of the pile, and set aside 1 accordance with this permission.

A woman in Aurora, Ills., insists on going to prison with her husband, he having been sent there for one year. How refreshing this is when one recollects that history is full of instances where the wife gets divorced, married, and has a baby or two before the old man gets out.—[Milwaukee News.

A Brooklyn young lady writes to say that she lias discovered how kissing may be utilized as an adjunct to the kitchen. She called upon a young married couple recently, who were about to boil some eggs for lunch, and who having no timepiece at hand, calculated that one kiss took two seconds, making thirty to the minute, so that ninety kisses (three minutes) just turned out the eggs to their taste.

Most men when they "pop" by writing are more straightforward and uiat-ter-of-fact. Richard Steele wrote to the lady of his heart: "Dear Mrs. Sourlock (there were no misses in those days), I am tired of calling you by that name therefore say a day when you will take that of madam, your devoted, humble servant, Riohard Steele." She fixed the day, accordingly, and Steeled her name instesd of her heart to the suitor.

No man, says Danbury, shows his insigniflcanoe and utter uselessness about the bouse to such a degree as when his wife is mopping up. He feels this, and so does she, and he knows she feels it, which is worse still. To offer an adverse remark on such an occasion, is about as insane an enterprise as an individual can embark upon. But a Patch street man did it, Saturday. His wife was mopping the kitchen floor, and he was moving about the room to keep out, of the way of the wet mop, when he unhappily observed that that wasn't the way his mother did it. It was done in a flash. There wss a sharp report as if three pounds of very wet and very dirty cloths had settle across a human face, and in the same instant a maa went. over a chair, and half way under a table, looking very much as if a mud volcano had kioked him in the head.

Tbey came near having a domestic tragedy in Cotmcil Bluffs, lows, a few jj nights ago. A citizen of that, place, being called out of town by urgent business, bid a tearful and tender ferewell to his wife and babes and started out. His mission wss accomplished sooner than he anticipated, and taking the evening train he reached home about midnight. Going to bis house he quietly 1st himself In with a latch key and silently went up stake. The gas wss burning low, but there wss light enough for him to distinguish two forms in bed, where sccording to his logic, bat one should be. Though half oraaed by the sight, some remnant of ooolness remained, and $ he withdrew to secure a witness to substantiate tbe statement be would be compelled to make. After a weary search he found a policeman, and returning to his bouse, stationed him at the foot of tbe bed. A motion of his finger snd the gss burned at frill head, and there, in the place he only of all men had aright to he, the agonised husband ssw his mother-in-law.