Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 5, Number 16, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 17 October 1874 — Page 1

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fM Vol. 5.—No. 16.

THE MAIL

Paper

for the

w«

People.

•Town-Talk.-

TffKOBKAT 17J*WASH1H WASHED AT IiAWl A »I»aCLAK COMFMHIOS !!—iSCfOKTAST IF TOOK!!!

The Journal of hint Monday morning contained the following Important pergonal announcement in the editorial columns

have last come from Mr. Dell-

no's Artesian Bath Rooms, andaever felt better or more exhilarated in our jfa

Jt it our flret bath,

but It shall no*

be our last." At first T. T. wtt Inclined to think this a mere electioneering dodge te seeare for the party of the editor the sympathy and the support of the"unwaahed" voters. But the article contained intern al evldencesof artless _' rut^fulncsa. The enthusiasm vrliieh ooew'out sl^ through the article Indicates that the writer has indeed experienced a new HensaUeu* Remember that it is a leading BemoeHI who says we "never felt better or .more exhilerated In onr life." He seem* to pot bathing before old Bourbon in its exhilerating effects, fWl not to mark Che unqualified pledge, "It shall not be our last" bath. Further on in the article it ia said, "It is moat delicious bathing." Aad yet onoe more, "We propose to say more about the luxury of a bath, but have no further room this morning." This enthusiastic and extravagaut language applied to a sensation which many people enjoy daily, and most people at least weekly, may occasion a ttjuiie upoa the public countenance, but it ia evidence unquestioned that the author is telling of as experience entirely new to him. This maybe set down aa one of tho strangest phenomena of the 19th century. Has Mr. Delano ever had another case like It? -,

t.......*jj||,•

KVXcmos KOTBS. mm

1- This la the off year. ^Democrats are happy as JoUv Dutchmen ami vico versa. •, personal Liberty ia safe. No more arrMtafor drunkenness, and any man of good moral character can keep a saloon when and where and as late as he pleases. ..

Mariin~HHo lBn'ger la happy. He fe elected. Nothing like the motto, "If at first you don't succeed, Try, try again."

West side of Printing House Square echoes with "D-- Dutch," and the Hast side and Wall street, with "Intelligent (Hermans." Old citisens remember when It was viee-versa. Circumstances alter cases.

v,^ 1:

Gilbert and Havens art sobering oft Grsiner has taken to drinking again. It is a base lie that he never stopped. lie did for more than aa hour, but wishbe hsdnt. It didn't do any good.

r}Iunter

came through the race after

the manner of Tarn 0*Shanter In the race with the witches, and his political steed ought to be named Maggie, become, wi» Tarn's esse,

Ae snriac breach* off Iw tnaa^rlutTe, But left behind h«r aln war tall The eartln eiai«ht her by the rump, And left poor HaggU* scare* a ntnmp." -^Hunter rtdee ht t'ed-t«fled man*.

u'*ISeebobbedher.

Burnett assures T. T. that the State Central Committee do not care for the defeat of the Republican party, bat are much 6a*tdown on ac-ount of the cause of Temperance.

Fllbeek is a stronger temperance man tfew* twr.' iHuU has begun to take fete "mips* again. He Is so discouraged hy the tack of appreciation shown hh temperJ2f, Mtee prindples that ittedottbtftilwhetitk* efjMsverattenk|^toi«forni«palii.

The oAelal eo«nt wttl dscMe wh^her Ltrogis sleeted. ^niMHt dole* on the Oatwtte, a«"H» RppobU«f» do on the Dut4.

Tti* I a elephant to the Democrst*. TheDemoesa- m* U«, imtf t»y Uaey «»a*t trade fcfek. Ttir RepobUcaris nev they an jWtW "-!,

at,

they——«mr«rapes.

,4^ glvlag wiry the brlffeis^iwSilne l»«aks In upon r.v. ..,..1 1 "ewvall lMv«ylM9 ?y, th«t laany **ry »:wl all

eivsi

Mtere B«l e»e««Mu

iajf Urn Iht^

**had iitr o»rws t"t »s fVirv

Who l*V» In oBm* **l

mimfp

of !5 wiMei* im T"

ftjtrt,

meets her he gets af toad as a March hare. The last time be saw ber was at the Opera House "Wednesday night, whither he had gone to witncee Rip tor only the twenty-first time. She came In looking this way and that, as if seeking whom she might smile upon, and sailed Into her seat. She saw a victim soon, and she said—to herself—now I am

to smile «ne of my sweetest

going

smiles upon him, and smiles are so sweet, so overpovrerUig, so oomriflolng, as mine. Down went her head gracefully and low, and the smile, the accursed amile, the 'wooden smile, the hypocritical smil^ the exasperating smile, lighted u$~-no, darkened her whole Acq. Her ears smiled, and even the end of hernosCTffis^tnouth stretched from ear to ear, and was festooned with smileu the entire length and both rides. That woman Is not to be trusted. Her smlleiaJust as expwwriiv^of affliotionate Interest as are the kissae which the candidate fbr offloo is supposed to be»U)WJW genej^usly upon the babies, before election. His kisses, and her smiles are a part of the capital stock with1 which they expect to make something handsome far themselves. She. Is married, and her husband Is one of the meekest of men, an improved edition of Moses. Of course he .is meek. A woman with such a smile as that dont waste any at home, —unless there is company,—but she has other means by which to produce the grace of meekness In a husband. He soon learns what will come if he isct submissive. These manufactured smiles, put on to suit occasions, and excessively sweet, are proof positive of a bitter, selfish and hypocritical spirit. As the best plaoe for a boil is on somebody else, the best plaoe for these smilers to bestow their friendship is on somebody else. If any of the readers of The Mall are ever threatened with the friendship of one of these put on something scattering at once.

Husks and Nubbins. KoJOB.

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XKB RATIOS ALB OF PAH ICH. Just about a year ago there was one subject of absorbing interest and that was "the panic." Everybody felt it, everybody was talking about it but nobody seemed to know exactly what it was or why it was, what was the of it or what the cure for it. Many opinions

expressed touching the

m&ter and many explanations of it offered but they all seemed to darken counsel by words without wisdom. The general impression was that the fault was in the currency and, particularly In the West, that the whole trouble was owing to a deficiency of the circulating medium. Congress hammered away on that question all winter without accomplishing much, business hobbled along as well as it could and even before all the effects of the panic have away we are in danger of forgetting to find out what was the real cause of it Professor Bonamy Price, the English political economist addressed the Now York Chamber of Commerce recently on the subject of commercial panics and threw some new light on the subject, Pfoll Priee defines these crises as disturbances in the money market, high rates of discount and uncertainty as to who is safe and who unsafe. It to a time when those who are the strongest sre exposed to th* greatest danger, as during the London crisis of lftW the great London and Westminster &mk, the strongest in Sagtand, was most ex posed to peril. cause ef the crisis is irfraply alarm, ftetlag of fright, un certaimy and insecurity on the part of depositors. 8«t what alarms? To explain thte Profc Pries gees Into an examination of the character and purpose of hanlw. He says the only man he ever met with who could tell Mm what a bank is and what It deals Is was Mr. Patter, the fbunder of the London Joint Stock Company. A bank deee not deal la marnetj. Actual examination la* shown that not Mote than S pOT*«t.«fits transaction* are conducted in cumnoy of any kind. lledefltHW a ba*k aa an testtttttion Ibr the transferring of debt*. A banker ts easimttal|y a broker. He deals In debts and eredfcbk

cotton naan give* him

M&ti

worth of cottott Mite to cftlieot. Heun- ••**, n-^nira *liriiisia

MpttkuK mm mo mmnrm wr

iaew tlwt retapwi wlU Mt lie expected within a Tbls gives the banker a p**» & MJtm ter «M» m««th. He do« aot waet to b«y anything fciii»« self bat soeae other caaa deea. lleknds this man his febyiag power of M&0** the 'iEMMillt The hanker hae tm detit Inmiwxsy. He hsa slm^y got in debt to the x*bMi man and put some nan fiUWln debt tohiu. If the hiitear man, th» bnrrowar, «o«bm out all t^i tffW be aMe to iMel his rMfmnaibiUty to the HrilCNM im». XT the tank** (wyfindhtnwelf sdltrauna.

Panics arise fNUa a greater eum l» laa 1 li, «Ji* tMi.'i hi

ik4

•g, 'i

tie 1 u,«i ,|Wlv»fSi

fit

rimft

I'r .J

man with slaige eetate borrows £80.000 of jth® banker to lay out In improvements upon his landa. What takes place? He pnts laborers to work. They eat, drink, wear out their clothes, A great destruction of property goeo on which la not Immediately reproduced. Suppose the same thing Is done by many men, by the nation taken In the segregate a commercial disturbance is inevitable. The balance has bee* destroyed between the surplus wealth of the nation and the amount invested in improvements which make no immediate returns in Increased production. Where improvements of this eharacter do ncft consume more than tho snrplus of the nation's earnings over its expenditures theee commercial crisea aro avoided.

Now eonsider the period just proceeding the panic of last September. It Was an era of vast speculation. Such a time for railroad building was never before known. Hundreds of thousands of men were withdrawn from productive pursuits to build railroads through the wilderness. A great demand for Iron was caused and furnaces and mills sprang up as If by maglo. Hire was a tremen dou* draft on the surplus capital of the country. Millions of dollars were thus Invested which brought no immediate returns. It was not foreseen that this state of things could not go on, but it could not. The collapse was sudden and wide-spread. The nation felt It from border to border and feels it yet. What was tho cause of the panic Prof. Price would say that more than the surplus of the nation's earnings was invested in railroads and similar speculations and the balance between production and expenditure destroyed. The explanation looks mofe reasonable than any heretofore advanced. •.,

FAYETTK, Mo., can boast a guardian of remarkable tact and honesty. Such people are rare, and we are bound to give the name of this gentleman, Mr. Hendrix. Eighteen years ago a Mr. Harrison died, leavlngtohis two daughters, Cora and Josephine, a little fortune of$12,000 each, and appointed Mr. Hendrix their guardian. This gentleman carefully educated them, paying for the two the sum of $18,900, and in taxes on their property |5,O0O. A few davs since, thev having come of age, Mr. Hendrix made his settlement with them in the County Court. The elder sister found that, in addition to the money spent upon her education, she was the possessor of 921,258.05, and her sister the still larger sum of $24,047,53, showing how honestly and judiciously their, guardian had watched their interests. In the present day. when money transactions are only spoken of in connection with foul swindles and thefts, such a case as this is like a ray of sunshine on a stormy day. We hope that Howard County, Mo., possesses a few more such guardians as Mr. Hendrix. If he has attended to the moral welfare of his lair wards as wetaily as to their material prosperity,they must offer extraordinary Inducements to the eligible young men of that part of the country.

A dismal tragedy comes from New England, as sad and melancholy as any we have lieanl. Miss Cross, a girl 19 years of age, was teaching school in Stark, N. H. tter classes fell into con fusion and disorder, and the teacher was snmmoned by the Committee, who gave her the alternative of improving the discipline or resigning. The girl committed suicide by drowning. She left a note to her sister merely stating that the corse was being fulfilled. A careful Inquiry into her history was made Mid the riddle was solved. Her Atther, Amos K. Cross, of Water ford, Me., was separated from his first wife and mauled again. His own mother was greatly Incensed against him, and, in am of rage, cursed his children, saying that "his sons should die in infknev, and his daughters In sorrow, if not in shame, before they were 20." The curse had been fulfilled wo far as the sons were concerned, and hi* coincidence confirmed the belief of the unfortunate girl in the curse. As she neared her aoth birth day the gloom of approaching death tin fitted her for her work, and tho clrcum stances which fbllowed urged her to the dread fa! ste® which developed the mystery. She leaves one younger sister, wbose future will be watched with care and Internet by an awc-etricken commnnltv. With snch ft history to look back upon it wenld require a mind of no strength to combat the melancholy ami superstition which caused her sitter's death* Bat what could be the retawree of the w*efc?hed woman who bad wrought the min l*t us hope she la dead and beyond the knowledge of the verification of her ffaarfttl curse,

nmtUK 8TB KKT WIQ UMTT&

InOermawy no gentleman

thlhkn

turning o«l !br a lady whom 1M on ttoe sidewalk. She might be crowded into the gutter A»r all he would tape, mi less he happeafed to be acquainted with her, whelk his politeness weald fee pro* the etoty is told ef an girl to

Beetle,

who

belled aipta*

at last

the

indignity

yield

being

eeixiMlMdi le make w*y for every man «lie met. She determined that she would

longer. She had

-^^egjw® her prosnoyaiih^ a^kee an— nomine her resolution when she found hetMif to ah astonished gentlei4 running over ber. fl# evklmtiy exacted her to taeni *m fer him but she MA her jplaee. At 1mA, with a hewlt* dcred l^ froorhis grnit W«eeyes, he simke: sin waiting. Iiv ^ead of an*wcrinir ofwi"—So am I -the )igtR5l rt'" II a kly •, «ve •pttfTH? t»«l«eaa*vi}ni ewkfb •!•...si.

TERRE HAUTR IND., SATURDAY1VENING. QCTQBER17,1874. Price Five Cents*

People and Things, nCmg! Tom"*lt«imb is reported to be short.— Phils. Hepalfl.

Onee they were drunkards now they a^e dipsomaniacs. A thousand suletdee in sir months Is the latest Amhlonahle Item from Paris.

General Spinner says the females bother blm. It's a common complaint, A man who halts between two opinions is lame onbeth aides of the question.

Bfcshlegfiljtle society,:.is one pollfjjgBd horde, formed of two tuighty triheS— the borea and the bored.

The crack-shcts of Tfew Yofk are hearly all rich men. They have struck the bull's eye In Fortunals tsrgct.

A Tennessee man offered Audy Johnson one hundred dollars to make him a suit and Andy has Just finished it.

Parson Brownlow used to frank1about |3,000 worth of mall matter in a year, and now he doesn't ,u3o over two postage stamps per weekt

Dumas, the younger, has completely flattened out as an author, and Is now writing third-rate plays. It was the old man who had the brains.

They have now invented shot-guns which can be carried in the pocket, and a fellow can slide out and go hunting on Sunday and no one know it.

Brigham Youtig's physician feels of itho old man's pulse, tells him to run out his tongue, and then shakes his head and remarks: "I dunno—I dunno."

A Missouri doctor couldn't tell arsenic. from dhalk until one of his patients died and new be doesn't doctor any more. Tho crowd left him in a placid pond. ..

It is getting the business down pretty fine when aNew York locomotive cuts a man into forty-five pieces and turns bis boots wrong side out.—Detroit Free Press,

A man having a bill against a distant merchant sent a letter of inquiry to a banker in that locality. The reply was, lie is dead but ho pays now as well as he ever did."

Tho only excuse a Tennessee man had for shooting a stranger was that the stranger's name was Moses Bogardus Smith. He said nobody could bring that name Into Tennessee and live.

Rev. W. H. Cudworth, of Boston, receives a salary of $2,500, and has been offered 96,000 by aNew York church. He declines it. The poor fellow dont see that "tho Lord calls him" to the metropolis.

Will you please Insert this obituary notice?" asked an old gentleman of an editor. "I make bold to ask It, because I know the deceased bad a great many friends around here who'd be glad to hear of his death."

If you dont know a waiter's name coin one fbr him. It is innocent counterfeiting 4 and he prefers to be called somebody rather than have your fingers snapped at him. One seems a kindly, the other a contemptous act.

Among financial foilures throughout the country, we somehow dont hear of many formers becoming Insolvent. They continue to oarry on business at the old stand, and don't seetft to know much about panics In Wail street.

We are profoundly shocked to bear of the death of Prince John Anthony Lascarls Patoolefrus, of Italy. Not that We ever before heard of Prince John Anthouy lASoariM Paiacologu*. but oh, the loss of that brief, hat brilliant name of his I—Courier-Journal

Brigham Young informed an Bsa&rn farnlture dealer, who called upon him to get tho contract for furnishing the new harem, that he proposed having it peiJ&tly gorgeous. "No bouse," said he, "to New Yark oar Saa f'randaco shaO cotitpars with It* I want the best, regardlea* ofeoet»w

!sU t,

Colonel Fred Gfant tm granted six months' leave, and will take his bride to Europe to visit his sister, Mrs. Sartoria. Mm. Grant receives letters every week from her dsught&r. She enjoys her English home and life. In January abe and her husband are ex peeted

tar

six months' vMt.

ashington etiwy Is that Mrs.

t^eelcer Bialiie had a difficulty with MHu Beitator S^trague about a cook* Meeting at a dinner table, with only Hon. Zeeli Chandler between them, Mr*. Bptofpi, leaning fonwurdsald:

am sorry, Mrs. Blaine, that we have anything disagreeable between «s.w Ti» lion. SSaeh ws« otmslderably embamw»ed, aever having heard the interesting -^g story of the cook.

Several citizens of Columbus, BOsa., among them tho postmaster, applied for admission to a negro ball-room aeveral nights since, but wer« refused on the ground that thsy were whiteu

A young man has been arrested In New York for sleeping in a standing position. He would ^tand on the street for hoars at a stretch, with his eyes closed, and not move a muscle. It Is hereditary. His father was a policeman.

Recently In a CWunsbia county (Georgia) church, when the congregation arose to sing, a pistol fell from the pocket of one of the worshippers, and wounded a Mr. Peeler, who remarked as he was being carried out, "Take care you dont make mc drop mine."

Femtnitems.

Hit- I /nrs'l Ckig?}ons are no longer fashionable. All garmente are vary highin the neck. Kcv. Olympla Brown's last sermon was a boy.-—jlJoston Post.

A cane nowadays is about as much a sign of rheumatism as ahead of masculine hair parted, in tho oentro is a aign of genius.

Braoebridge Hemyng is paid |10,000 a year for writing the highly improbable and demoralising yarns published by Frank Leslie.

It is along time since we have seen the item about the lazy man who marked "Smithw on one of his shirts, and "ditto" on the others,^,

Chemiloon" is what the dress refojfmors call the garment pf the future,

Who made your teeth is always the query when two Buffalo ladles moot. When a young lady gives herself away, she naturally low* her self-pos-session.

,1i4

The fhvortte song with the young ladies of Michigan is, ^Mother, may I go out to vote?*

The Vsssar College girls write 2,000 letters a Sunday to their fathers, mother^, brothers and.beaux.

Dr. Ayer of Lowell will leave his handsome daughter $2,000,000 in greenback!?, and there's a sugar-coated pill worth taking.

An Illinois woman who wanted to ge to a masquerade party as Mary, Queen of Soots, looked through the Bible to ascertain how the character was dressed.

Lillie Devereaux Blake doesn't ask so much for woman's suffrage, but she does pray for the time when politics, instead of being the study of corner loafers, would engross the attention of the noblest minds in the nation,

Miss 'Faithfali is a tiptop editress. One of her compositors sued her for bis wages, but upon her showing that he was in the habit of getting intoxicated, and so delaying the publication of the paper, the Court nonsuited him, and complimented Mias Faithfull.

Miss Carrie Ballard, of Avoca, Iowa, while on her way to school in Cincinnati, was frightened by some men on the railroad train trying to flirt with her to such an extent that she looked herself in tho water-cloeet and would not oome out. When the train reached Peoria the door was forced open and the yoanglady found to be insane. ,i

All the girls, says Jennie June, now wear their hair combed back plain and tied in a Chinese pig-tail, orold-fitshlon-ed queue at the back. This is a revolu tion so complete, after the puffs, and braids, and chignons, and Waterfalls, that it detracts much from their appearance en masse, and makes ail women appear suddenly to have grown smaller and plainer.'

Belle De Forest is the name of a pretty orphan girl who flung herself from a fourth story Window In Baltimore, re oently, because of want and disappointment She said, whon her severe iqju rfes would permit her to speak, "I have never yet meta woman who would pity or help me, nor have I found one man who acted towards me with honor,"

A Paris letter says: "Fans have shrunk back to moderate dimensions once more, and it is new said that tfco class a ftiir dame belongs to can be told by her fan. If ah^ carries a huge article, behind which a dosen flirtations may be carried tm, she belongs to the

dcmi-mond«.

Connubialities. A Troy weman got all ready to elope with a young man, but finding that he had been eating onioas fur supper she went back to her husband.

It has been decided In Kentucky that a man can murder his mother-in-law and receive only a five-year sentence to prison as punishment. The price wasn't any cheaper than this before the war.

An Ohio woman worked at odd times for nine years to piece a bed quilt containing every so many thousand pieces, and then her husband seized it to blanket his mule, and said It saved him paying one dollar for an army blanket.

Somebody recently ran away with somebody else's wile in Baden-Baden, and for a time there was a great excitement. When It turned out that the erring wife was an American everybody laughed and went about their business again.

In a^ ra«!ri8Rorir a breach of premist pf rdftirisge, defendant's counsel asked the plaintiff, "Did my client enter Into a positive agreement to marry you?" "Not exactly," she replied "but he courted me a good deal, and he told my sister that he intended to m.H7 into «r tolly."

Minnie Bedell advertises her husband In this manner: Whereas my charming husband, Daniel C. Bedell, has left me for tho twelfth time, without just cause or provocation, this Is to warn all persons from trusting him on any account, as I am done paying his debts and supporting, him. Hereafter he,must, "cut his own feed" or starve. ~n»

A woman at New London, Conn., saw bar husband carrying a lady's satchel, and she tore the lady's dress off before discovering that it was her mother, who had dropped down on the evening traia to surprise her. Every husband In the land who Is out evenings should read this little item to bis wife and hold up tee dangers of her becoming suqdciotis without the best of cause.

she has a very small one die may be set down as one of the

bouryeoise.

But If

ber fan be of moderate dimensions, neither too large nor too small, die la evidently a well-bred lady.'*

It's (Ytnny, sey* Grace Greenwood, to see how few women who go to Colorado know how to dress foe such rough expeditions. She has teen mere than one dainty dame set forth for the canons clad in silk, with lace and diamonds. She notloed the other day In a party starting for Pike's Peak, a pretty young girl, most cogueUahly attired,, and carrying in her soft-gloved hand the last new novel. "Such fHmsy preparations and alight provisions for ascending that awful trail and daring the wlndsand tempest* of the dreary summit, make one sad. ...

Now is the time when the -romantic maiden gatbers the felling leaves and begins to axtfcdm: **Lo! this is the Insummer and when the exact young lady promptly replies: "No it ooam later, I'm sure "I think you are mistaken," says Miss Bomantic. "No, Indeed I'm not," says Mini Exact. «I know yov in*/" says MissBomantie. "Nothing of the sort," says Miss Exact. •Then I suppose you maaa to say I fib?"

my*

Miss itotnsntte. "If the cap fits yea, wear it," says Miss Exact. "InBalting wretch," says Miss Romantic. £jiitefti1 hnssv

says Miss Exact.

oas may com* and season* ma? go, /omen wag 00 forever.

No doubt the real enjoyment of life comes from our inability to look into the future. Who. when he sits with his "sweetest," with his arm around her waist, her head reclining on his bosom, and his heart palpitating with bliss unspeakable, could enjoy the situation If he knew ere a year had fled that his head would be aching from the blows of a poker delivered by the loving hand which he clasped so closely.

A Genesee county man, says the Detroit Free Press, who wanted to go out on the train yesterday, but missed it, walked up and down the depot in a high state of excitement, berating himself and every one else. "I know just what my wife will say 1" he exolaimod, as he walked up and down. "When that train gits thar and she don't see me, she'll git right up and jump over chairs and smash crockery and swear that I'm off on another drunk!"

Some person at Frank town, Washoe valley, says the Virginia City Enterprise, has sent us a poetical effaslon, of which we give below twelve lines, just to show to what a condition love may reduce a man when green corn Is In sea-, son: Thw i* a girl in Waahoe valley.

giving name ta Bailee,

HOT

1 wood I wes the tlUng-nm-bob Inside of com, what they call Jb« kob$ And I could come steemlu' hot Kite of the old Iron pot, Ho her robby lip® mite And her Ivory Daring which

ps mitecorrell me, teeth mite nhell ine, her prlttjr nose could smell

IUD,

While tier tung,ao fair and yimg, Wiutaround about me clung.

«*£,_

And she was a-calling ofme sw«e&' From Surprise valley, California, comes the story of an old fellow who got very Jealous' because his wife went to a ball with a good-looking Allow, and stayed out until broad daylight* The old fellow went to a Jostioe of the peace and told his Utory, winding up with: "I want you to help me, for that ar thing has been going on a boat long enough." "Wen^eigra the justice, ^you can write down to Yreka and see if some of the lawyers can't get you a divorce.": "Divorce roared the angry man, "wha the deuce wants a divorce f' The Justice began to get wmthy. "If you dont want a divaree, what the deuee brought you here?" "Why, I want an injunction to stop further proceedings."

A certain school superintendent makes out examination papers for teachers in a manner peculiar to himself, winding: upevery sentence, "If so, why," er, "If not why notf" One of the teachers tells this story of him: She said she board* ed onoe where his "girl" boarded. One nkht he came, tang the bell, and asked the servant, "Is Mis* In, and if so, why? Is she engaged, and how?" Then he wentln, and the little tatfcletale listening at the keyhole, heard him say, **My darling, do you love me? If not, why not?" And after a while—"Give me a synopsis of your employment duthe week. Analyse thoroughly and completely the state of your sentiments towards me." When he left, after kisfl£ iag ber, he remarked. "Be prepared on, next Sunday at feSO p. m. to state aecurately and conciw ?y when, where, by whom, and under what circumstances our marriage ceremony shall bo performed."