Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 5, Number 12, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 19 September 1874 — Page 1

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uVol.wi-*"No. 12

TH EMAIL

A PAPER TOR THE PEOPLE.

Town-Talk. /.

rOPPISO

THB

QCESrnOX

T, T. double If any man ever yet proposed to a women that be did not first reJbearse and commit his address to memory, and alter aad amend it to nit his fancy, and thou lie forgot all about it just at the critical juncture. The malt it, a good many fellow* have been rejected, because ladles have an Ideal of ^bow the thing should be done, and In '2%helr disappointment decline him who does not reach that ideal. This one «rror has been prolific In the making of ancient maids and bachelors. T. T. Is a "bachelor. Now that tbe wedding market needs all the encouragement in the world, T. T. would offer a few hints upon the subject, and suggest a few

Ibrms of proposition. Do net propone to a girl after a hearty meal, for then the blood is needed to injure sucoenafUl digestion, and the imagination is not warm nor just before a meal, for the longings of the importunate system conduce to anxiety and irritability, and the weakness of the system will not support the shock. The evening is beet, or ju«t after returning from some entertainment For at those times the nerves are pleasantly strong and the mind belter prepared for the proposition. Never propose on or after the return from the theater, for she will have the style of soma actor better-look-ing than yourself in ber mind, and will unpleasantly contrast you with him, to your disadvantage mar daring a oold walk, for a numbness of the extremltlee militates against warmth of affection. About the best way to do la the wintertime la to discover some entertainment on which she has set her heart, Invite her, and then propose the evening it

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comes off. That gives you a great purchase, for die will readily reflect that a •Rejection will be extremely likely to upset the next evening's amusement, which will have a great influence upon ber decision.

In the spring ef the jear you should pursue a different plan. Avoid the house as much as prectieable, for she has a yearning to get away from home, and the further off yon get her, the more magnified your chanoea. At that time her system is undergoing a change, which must be considered, and new scenery should be introduced to awa-«-ken her torpid imagination. T. T. would suggest a drive, over as bad a road as ^jjroa can find, if you are a good driver, for your manipulations of the reins will excite her admiration, and your safe arrival at your destination will find her exhllerated by the fresh air and the ride.

The summer time has advantages over all others, if the natural advantages are judiciously 'applied. As in the spring avoid the house, bat do not trust to a 'walk. Nor is* picnic entirely safe, for she will not bind herself to one while others are around, and you are in constant danger of interruption, which Is awkward. A erocptot party does not afnt eligible opportunities

The autumn is preferable over all, for need not excretoeeo much care. Do Hot avoid the bouse, and talk a food deal about going away for the winter. Never propoeethe day or evening yon take dinner or supper st the bouse. A brief absenee will introduce the subject better than 1/ you have been around frequently.

Always ge well bat not elegantly drewed for soeh a purpose, but be particularly caiafulof yo*ir shirt front and eufibandJiaiidkerQfel* and careless ss te your necktie. Have a clean shave beforehand, but don't let the barber pat any offensively perfbmeti ell on your hair.

It is never «ate to propose wbenehe is animated. Select a time when silsaoe follows the exhausting of eech topic, and stttaot ber attention to what yon are about to do,by a alight modalatten of your vokne. Never ait beside her you eecntnewee. Arise from your aeat and stand bdtive he*, for when yoa notlor idle waver* or 'hesitates, you can alt down and drop year ana behind her liwith the same motion, which fcsa vs*t

Improvement upon the old style of allayIng your fist over her head, as ffahoat to cheer a pohlle speaker. Speak quiotiy «»d earnestly, aad avoid the kneeboet ttess. Don't he too sudden abowt It, for many a girl hasmti& **90** when she meant "y^s" tor Qm reason -that the Jctw was too tojaw»i» tad did not choose the aifbiUme. Be dignified and straightforward, and then you are not by a refusal. If she lowers her he careful, tor that is the turning xiolitt. Whan ah« dtefa her head, wait moweat, and if she d«* not spank, drop is her aad throw 1» the *»**y iburi»e« your arm half aroami her pad vour hand aUgfctly touching .lfsi:»* at** v,'!»dniw her hand,gl*'1

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bat they will he forgotten. You mi be guided by elwamstanoea. If she is fresh from sohool, T. T. would reoomauad a tinge of poetry in the declaration, the style to be aocomiaodated to the season of the year. As for lntfanoe, in the fall, to a young lady of romance temperament, say, just as she droops her eyes: "Oh! my darting, yon came to me when the leaves were feding, and I wish that you will be near me, with me, when I watch them felling for the last time.*' This has been found very aifee* live, as It arouses ber sympathy by hinting that you may die. In November, the word "dreary" cannot he teo frequently introduced, and delicate comparisons of yourself to all Hi* Novembers coming, in the event of her refrutal, will help you. If you are a church member, generally dwell upon your follies and frailties" and speak of yourself as a "worm," to which you might add a desire to feed upon the damask of her cheek. In the spring, all this must he altered. The tone shook! be light and showery, with a few allusions to flowers. T. T. does not wish to be understood that these poetic symptoms should be very manifest. They should on the contrary, be glossed over with heavier talk, and only used to relieve the sombre cast of th» occasion. A summer declaration should be fresh and crisp, like good celery, with Just the fointest tinge of the rose leaf.

To the more mature Miss, a little change will be necessary. T. T. .would not recommend any poetry at all. The more quiet the better it will be appreciated, and the three words, "I love you," will be enough for any sensible girl, though it is often better to sling in a little more, where there is likely to be a disappointment. That sort of thing does no harm and may be prolific of good.

If tbeee hints are heeded, no amount of panic will hereafter affect the wedding season, and there will be fewer old bachelors like Town Talk,,. j??l

Husks and Nubbins.

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TH* CMCNRSATI KX POSITION. Is everything here What of human handiwork is not to be found in these glass cases, on these groaning counters, in these towering shelves? See if you can think of anything that Is not here. Earth, ooean, sky have contributed to the collection. From the four quarters of the globe articles of use or ornament have been gathered. It is the world in miniature—a marvelous and beautiful spectacle. It is Aladdin's palace realised —wrought out in actual form and color before the eye. Look at this bewildering, infinite variety of manufactured things and consider that they were evoked from nothing. From nothing? Yea not by the enchanter's wand and of Arabian tales hut by human skill and industry. Was not all this fairywork created by men? Once the earth was bleak and tare of all tills beauty. The jewel was in the mine, the beaten gold buried away in the rocks. The iron was only a dull brown stone not better than any other stone apparently nor so good as many. There was not even an axe to out d»wn a tree. Into a vast, toitamed wilderness man was put with no helpers hut his brain and his hands. Everything was to learn, nothing known everything to make, nothing made. What could we do now in the world without our wonderfal system of machinery ranging from the mammoth puncher, capable of cutting a hole through a half-Inch plate of cold iron, down to the delicate, diamond-pointed instrument of the watch maker? Yet theaa toola and machines, and systems of machines combined into mills and foctoriea, had all to he made and the materials for them hunted up from one end of the world to tbe other. So I say this bewildering array of products had virtually to he made out of nothing.

la it not one of tbe most wonderful things this ingenious finding out of the qualities of ao many aubatanoea and patting them to just that particular use tor which they seem to have been specially created? And we might keep on thinking so but that some keen wlUed fellow every now and then puts an substance to anew use and makes an article so much better than tbe old one waa

It iannedta«eiy supplants It, and the fellow pockets a fortune for his trouble—or,whet happens toner, somebody elae poeketa the fortune and he who made ligoeaoa his way poorer than before.

One aeee a great msny different kinds of people at an exposition and the beat ptaee to atody them lain tbe art gallery. The hall la fall of busy people wbe go about with tbelr catalogue in one band aad the index

finger

of their other point-

log t» the nufabers of the pidtarea aa they pass !Tuad tbe room. Generally eaeglasMie at the book and on* at the picture are aafllelent aad they prnm to the next, 3f«w and then, however, they linger a little while before one which is put down in the beok as worth fSytXM «r and am "(ta«ndned to. aStm! Mint It "my fine, sir, very fear. *H.t l" 3t,r*r parpen--mturnm U= i--r- fea «-J .jMintltlu ari'l tH'V gflf hi ",!,rh

them in regular rotation, aa the child does the alphabet, and would not odea oa* far anything, SoaiaBmaa, II la true, tbe buatnaaa begins to get a little tedious and they turn over the leavea of their catalogue to aee how muahknf«r the llst ia, but the only of tklala to quicken their aleps a Uttle and shorten their painea, aad at length they ooaoe boravely outat the doer where they weat in, having seen every picture in the hall aa numbered and set down in the book. Thaaoneclaas whidb indi»las the majority of expoaitien-goera. It iaunneoeaaary to kay that they do not know muidi about art and era not likely to learn much. The few who knew some of tbe rules of painting, who have made unpretentious easaya themaelvee in that field, perhapa, are seen standing long before a single piece of oanvaa. Wot them a glance is not sufficient. They see many things there and the longer they look the more they aee. Instead of giving a hasty glance at the whole two or three hundred pictures on the wall they find themaelvee better repaid by spending an hour or two before each of a few master-pie:,ea. It is "The Smoker" perhaps that they study longest. It is not larger than a man's hand and is reputed te be worth anywhere between ten aad twenty thousand dollars, though why It should be worth so much is one of the mysteries insoluble to one whoso art- education has been somewhat negleetod. What is i»? An Irishman in rod cost and pants, sitting iu a chair, a pipe in his mouth and a mug partially filled with beer on a table beside him. That is "The 8moker" painted by the groat French painter Meissonnier. To be suro tbo man is very life-like, the oolors very pure and bright, the workmanship very fine and delicate, but after all how can the Philistine help asking how the picture of an Irishman in red coat and pants sitting in a chair with a pipe in his mouth and a mug of beer on the table beside him, be worth ten or twenty thousand dollars, or any thousands at all for that matter? The art-critic will smile a wise sad smile and wish the smoker were his own and some shoddy aristocrat will come along and plank down the ten or twenty thousand dollars,not because the picture will give him any more pleasure than a common photograph, but .because Meissonnier painted it, and the art-critio Bald it was a priceless jewel which no doubt it is, but it will happen you know that sometimes the swine get the jewels, maugre the feet that corn would be better for them.

At last you are satisfied that you are tired. You were tired hours ago but stifled the consciousness of it by feeding your eyes on the kaleidoscopic spectacle around yeu. A dozen times you were going to sit down and rest but like the bee wooed by another and another flower just ahead, you kept moving along with the shifting crowd forgetting your weariness almost as soon as you had recalled it. But at last you can hold out no longer and do sit down in the gallery above. How dazzling the panorama with its moving crowd below. But don't look at it. Shut your eyes once and open your ears. Quit looking and listen. What a strange noise comes up from the restless multitude 1 You can fancy a heavy, slumbrous rain is falling on tbe roof. It sounds like it for all the world. Again It Is the low rumbling of a distant water-fell never erasing, never growing louder or softer, the same sullen, half-smothered monotone. Now it suggests a vaat hive of bees at swarming time. Very like it is to that restless, wearyful, complaining sound which the homeless hive set up at such times. Again fancy carries you ta a berth In a sleeping ear and yon hear just tbe same sound aa that dull, heavy rumbling of tbe wheels filling your drowsy eats. Did you ever sit thus listening to the noise of a crowd? Try it and aee whether all these sounds are not In it.

A good exposition is the cheapest show over yet devised and the most instructive,

THE*

Prairie Farmer puts this fues-

tiom If the objoct of Custer's expedition to the Black Hills waa to find out if gold and aiiver were there and they being discovered, It Was necessary to give notice to all persons to keep away, what good eaii result from the expeditioa Plainly, it ean only aerve to make mischief, Why should a matt find at great trouble and coat a water melon patch, advertise It to all the boys In town, aad then tell them to keep away or they will be shot? The truth seems to ha that Custer and Sheridan were tbe real tree* passers on tbe land of the Stents. The Indiana were at home minding their own business, aad all woold have been well tot for the Invasion of their territory, Men will go where gold U, if they rush through showers of Indian arrows and Federal bullets, and the men who plsnned this expedition should have known ft.

Tats** is conrtdeiaMe backwardness reported In fine furniture sale* throughout the oountiy, the tendency being to cheaper atyies. Benalbte.

LAWHKSTK BARHitrr plays Richelieu *h+ op&ra How*© fiCAt Saturday eve--'4E*

TERRE HAtJTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, SEPT JER 19,1874. Price Five Cents.

People and Things.

Death to baay on the stage. fbm is not a ofean-ahaved Governor in the Uokm.

ThePiineeof Walea rather aympatblsea with Baedbar. General Great hae attended tea or twelve oamp-naeotlnga.

Joha a Gongh will vkU his old borne in England, next spring. Charles Sumner has been arrested in Michigan for forging postoflloe orders I

Ulton baa been offered 76^00 for fifty teotuiea. So aays the Brooklyn Argus. Time ia money, and eome people sewn to have an idea they can pay their debts with it.

The .best way for a manto acquire a fine flow of language la to tfub bie toe against a raiaed briek.

Harper's Weekly makes Its first reference to the scandal in order to pronounce Mr. Beeoher not guilty.

And now they want Barnum to run for President in 1876, because he would nmke such a good "canvas."

A man advertises in a New York paper for a bar-keeper, "who must be recommended by his pastor."

Daniel Pratt has only one superstition, and that is that you must spit on your bait or the fish won't bite. ,'

Joaquin Miller Is getting quite a reputation abroad as the talented American TV ho Is too mean to liavo Ids hair cut.

The Congregationalist explains what it means by "lightning-bug piety"— bright \yhile it lasts, but cold and soon out. 1

The Now York Sun intimates that Senator Jones, of Nevada, never hires the 8ame man to write a second speech for him.

A Georgia paper makes the proud boast that the "Empire State of the South" has turned out five minstrel troupes. -5

This whole Beocher scandal comes from busy-bodies meddling with other people's affairs. "Mind your own business," is a good rule.

George Frauds Train was onoe imprisoned in the Tombs for publishing hints of the great scandal. Now but little else Is published.

A weary New York journalist ventures to suggest to the parties in the Brooklyn scandal that the fare to liverpool has been reduced to 15.

The supreme court of New Hampshire served Louis Lamireaux right by fining him |100 and oosts and giving him a year in jail for pulling a horse's tongue OUt.

S -'Jr-f ti ,«! S'i.Sothern has played Dundreary 4,962 times. If he averaged 500 for each performance, he has received tbe enormous sum of 12,026,000 for his efforts in this one character. '1

In its "personal" column, recently, the New York Herald advertised "For adoption, a child to be horn in September." Don't say anything now about "counting chickens before they are hatched."''

When a young lady notices your shirt button hanging by a single thread on the "rtfggod edge" of the button-hole, and calls your attention to it, don't wait for another hint like that, as you may never get It.

To be a good dunkard you must cut off your moustache, have nothing to do with the "ungodly piano," and affectionately kias your brother when you meet him. It lint likely that everybody will Join the dunkards.

Said a Pennsylvania political orator, warming up aa ha approached the climax of his speeoh: "Let us conduct this campaign, feUow citiaens, upon the principle enunciated by the immortal Lincoln, 'With malice toward all, and charity to none.'"

Courier-Journal: Mr. Beeoher la receiving great numbem of letters from all parts of the country. He geta sixty or aeventy every day. Thank goodnese, though, he basnt any mutual friend now, and thia correspondence la not likely to be published.

One of the Methodist clergy, meeting Mr. Beecher in New Hampshire, lately, said to him: "We have not lost faith in you, up here, yet, Mr. Beecher." Stretching himself up to his full height, Mr. Beecher replied "I have not tout faith In myaeif, my brother."

Brief colloquy la Tsxas between a tourist and a native: "My friend, why Is it everybody In thia country thinks it neeeaaaty to ca»y o»* or two revolvers?4* "Well, stranger," said the Texan, "vou might travel around here a long time aad not want a weppon, but when you do want a pistol la this oouatry you want it like hlell."

Thurlow Weed may bo aeen every morning walking from Ida house, oa Went Twelfth atreet, ne«r fifth avenue, New York, with hla pockets full of fruit, which he deals out with a generous hand to crowds of little urchin* who hehis residence. Mr. Weed count* »hoim of htegteai^ pleasure.

Boys sometimes surprise their parents la taking a very unexpected turn. A St. Joe father, who undertook te frighten his son by assuming the role of highwayman, was somewhat disoonoerted when his oflbpring pulled a pistol from hla pocket and bland away at the author of hla being. The old man rolled over into the ditch, and does not believe ia the tiwjitUty of bi« seam much aa he did.

A person who olalma to know the faote, says that when Senator Jones, of Nevada, was married, twenty-five years ago, he had to apologise to the clergyman for the smsllnaas of tbe fee, intimating that he might afterward be able to do eomething handsomer. Now thai the Senator is worth a few million}, this person with the memory calls upon him to do the handeome thing for some California charity.

Many Dartmouth College students have replenished their purses this season by serving as waiters In the WhAte Mountain hotels, getting twenty dollars a month. "When we consider," said President Smith, "the feet that nearly one-third of the students at Dartmouth teach sohool during winter and work at harvesting in the summer, we need not fear about tbe dignity of labor becoming an obsolete expression." "Now, then, jump right in," exclaims the surly omnibus driver at Long Branch upon tbe arrival of the evening train, and be quick about it, too!" "I'd like to know who you are addressing," ssys young Smithkina, of London, as he is about to enter. Bang! goes the door, up jumps the driver, and Smithkina puts a bit of plain glass in his right eye to see how feat the stage rells away and leaves htm standing on the depot platform.

At Fair Oaks while standing in a very tempest of death, with his sword uplifted In command, General O. O. Howard had his right arm carried away. That night, after Howard had suffered amputation, and was lying spent and racked with pain in a box ear that was to take him to Washington, Kearney drew near, and looking into the car, said, "Howard, eld boy, I am sorry for you—sorry with all my heart but, Howard, I have just thought of something. When you get to Washington buy a pair of gloves send me the right and keep the left for yourself, and I will divide the oost with you, and hereafter we will get along more economically." And, turning away, Kearney muttered,

,4That

is bet­

ter for him thao,praying, and then Howard can beat me praying anyway."

Feminitems.

The Detroit "hired-girl ring" now demands three beau-nights a week. Grace Greenwood writes that she has lamed her wrist while chopping wood on her Colorada estate.

It is said that four women out of five stick tbe postage stamp on the left hand corner of the envelope.

Soft, '^slouch" felt hats, whlch are quite as huge and not unlike those worn by gentlemen, are tbe fashion.

An up-town New York jeweler has 1100,000 worth of diamonds left with him for sale by "ladies of position."

The Siecle announces the arrival in Paris of Mme. Woodbull, "ex-candi-date for the Presidency of tbe United States."

A young lady in Dee Moines put vitriol on her scalp to take dandruff off and what scalp die has left doeaat bother her any.

In England they have an Inn called "The Silent Woman Inn." The Silent Woman is represented on the aign without a head. Sensible people in England.

Antoinette Sterling, the American songstress, recently appeared before Victoria dad in independence, a black silk drees—high nook and long sleevesand the Image of the national bird. And the queen didnt appear to dislike It, either.

Speaking of ten-pins a correspondent •ayst You aae while a man ehooaee a boll he can handle with a graceful swing of the right arm, the girla are bound to select the biggest one they can find. "Toting" It to the starting plaoe they go oa a

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addling run half way down the alley and then let go their burden with a spiteful shoves give a sigh of relief, straighten up and walk back with a dignified and unconcerned air as if they didn't care where tbe ball weat or whether It knocked down any pin* or not.

The Smith sisters of Glastenbury are again to the front. The rraaorarieaa tax collector having sold some of their beat meadow land for a song, instead of first taking movable property, as the law directs fer unpaid taxes, the sisters brought suit against him for damages, aiki the ease came on for trial tbe ether

day

in a quaint rural fashion. The Asters won their caae, and are given back their land, the collector ta obliged to pay fiOand eottta tor hla mistake, and the neighbor who ao gteedlly bought in the land obliged to surrender it with a dead low of whatever he may have expended. Served *em right*

Connubialities,

Woodhull was married at fifteen. Strained sweetnoaa—Kiwing through a veil.

Dont trust your love letters to a mutual friend. Brigham Young's last wife is a good* looking Irish woman.

No young man Is proof against gamdrop when she holda it between her teeth and invitee him to take a bite. "She died for me," said the young husband when he beheld her dark locks gradually returning to theiroriginal red.

A young lady being asked by a rich bacbelcr, "If not yourself who would you rather be?" replied, sweetly and modestly, "youra, truly."

When a young man calls twice at a farm-house in Central New York, the neigh bora all speoalate on tbe probable match, and tailors and millinere took •at for a job.

They believe in fashion in Topeka,and when Mr. Williams wouldn't put on a mourning band for the death of his wife, they dragged him through a creek and shaved his head.

Death Is a sad thing," remarked a Schenectady woman, aa aha atood beaide an open grave. "Yes, poor thing," replied another, "how he did like to sit down to a good biled dinner wher^Uie pork was just right." nnSmt '$«

Performances of Miss Gray, of Independence, Mo., when they tried to marry ber against her will: 1. She kicked the minister's hat off. 2. She knocked the young man down. 8. She rode off on a mule with one foot on each ride of him.

A lady undertook to chase the flies out of her room the other day with a towel-pin, when her husband, darting carelessly in, received a whack on the head which could be beard all over the bouse. Upon recovering his senses he gaaed on her with a look of mingledr pain and melancholy, only to remark: "I even wish that you were dead."

A very pretty girl asked a young man on the Maine railroad, If the vacant seat by his ride was engaged. After saying, "No, miss," he, highly appreciating her beauty, unconsciously said, "Are you?" She so pleasantly and promptly replied, "No, sir," that the agreeable conversation which followed for ten miles leads him te hope fin: a better acquaintance before his season tickets expires.*4 ',

A pensive youag man in Wisconsin, while ringing "Come, love, come," beneath his dulcinea'a window, the other night, had love, music, wind and everything else knocked out of him by a something in a long, white garment that fell out of a chamber window. It proved to be nobody but his girl, who, in her anxiety to know who was serenading her, leaned too far over the window rill hence the result. He says when he sings "Come, love, come,"

again,

he will

keep away from under the window, as his system cant stand many such shocks. Mary Kyle Dallas says love-making is always awkward. "A stolen kiss, if seen, creates a laugh, a squeese of the hsnd, if detected, is a great joy. I myself, who claim to be romantic, did grin at a shadow picture cast upon the wall of the white garden fenoe, next door, by unenvtous gas light, when I saw the shadow of the young lady with much waterfall feed the shadow of the young gentleman with no whiskers with sugar plums and then kiss it, but the shadows were very black and took odd orinks in their noaea as they moved to and fro, and that may have been the cause of my mirth."

A correspondent of the Courier-Jour-nal says of the Kentucky women: There 1a nothing they dont know, and what they dont know they divine. A man cannot creep in a little late at night without a disturbance and an explanation, which comes of their training. Even Slybuok, the smartest of "smart Alecks," has learned also of the futility of bis best trick*. The sick friend dodge, the lateHweakm-of-the-eooiety dodge, the all night in the oountry dodge the meetlng-of-conndl dodge the ootalng home trom market with a-braoe-of ohiokens dodge—all the old shifts aad expedients have piayed out. The other night he slipped In about one o'clock very softly, denuded himself gently, and bo* gait rocking the cradle by the bedside, as if he had boenawakeaed out of sound sleep by Infantile eriea. He had rocked away about five minutes, when Mary Jane, who had silently observed the whole maneuver says: "Come to bed, you old fool you! tbe baby aint therei"

GOOI) OORN. (lad Herald.}

That Husks and Nubbins man baa writteu one hundred and twenty-three columna of The Ttorre Haute Mail. Gracious goodness! That's almost an bad aa tbe idea of having all the food a man had ever eaten stacked np for him to look at* There la aoete very good corn, however, among Isaac's "Husks andkubWn%M

MIL

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TitoBaACKrax, of Iceland, la tip

In Wisconsin, looking for a riteupeu which to (bund a colony of ode theosand emigrants from that boreal Isle.