Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 5, Number 2, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 11 July 1874 — Page 2

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Vol. 5.—No. 2.

THEMAIL

A PAPR* FOR THE PEO» UE.

Town-Talk.'

Eati«lv toot** to goto church. And though the devil-#n*t vmc t!"'» T, T. rr-^t Insist a ont u' fcwSu—ays. Fo«ui Jf he gather up strength and resolution enough to try one service to-morrow, He cannot promise j- ^'tlvt to do so. it ~~ms hsi 1 iy fiki criticise ettiw- xuj»or cui^pi^ tton when the th» mometer la frisking around among the niitthw, a»d now and then liking res* of* day or two sewewhwe up "^v«* hundred. But th® &»«" tbing 11 done «oom/ or laWr. T. T. has set out to do the churches *wi ho I* back on his promise, T*« «h*"'"** •toll be gone tjbtfoogh jf ft tak«* all summer. This ojijpljem*tion»e©BitM3 ttooemarv in oirder to WWM*» MO" lurking tmx that any cbareh*# or *nlntet«T» wtre to be alighiedU x$ aoats who long for day of glory, vi*m the beattllea and tb« bktnlaliea of your pet minister, and of tka church (oar own church" la always tht\ cburcb) shall be impatiently portrayed lo thin column. Be a tittle easy on a fellow whoilnds that It gooa actum the grain to sit regularly under the dropping# of the sanctuary, and Ln doe time ail shall hare their portions. If it is han!f to curb your impat' icetoget a gllu^pee of yourselves as t-4iien see you, remember that, if mK-h a thing la poesiblpjt is harder fat T. T. to go to church. By the way, having alluded to that oft quoted prayer of Burns, "Oh wad now pewter us.

To MeoarwU ethers mm T. T. can bat suggest wttat an

SAOE TTMKXA*.

Hethinks he knowsU all, and, if there rixmld Ohaac& to he soa» «»w tldnga whia be does not Itnow, th4 thwe are of ti. surest consequence. Upon Religion, whether anelost or modern, poi^aa or christian, upon Government^ rtvil, ocoleataatiaU and domestie upon l»lory, past, praaonl and future} upon Pinanoe, BaUroads and Gnutgera, in abort upon all sul^ecta under the son, he is, as he thinks, Sir Otacle, Hedi elwres his opinions wUh aothortly as much as to say, Here is tte«fiiofaB controversy. He is happy, supremely haiw tat the oonsciouanoss erf hisiown superior wisdom. A ftw peoplo accept hl iw« e^imatton of himself, but the general expreaslon coi rnlng him to, What mi ass. H« m»v«a about the street* with an air of lofty aopaiiArlty. He genaraOy mdks aIom». Th^rr arr tworamonaforibts. lie prefer* the seleei aoototyofhimaeli, and other people earn very little for hta ermvpanlonshlp. He thinks hlmaelf loo fi*r superior to otbem to oani muoh for tha^r aadaly, and others conatdwr Mm togreatafeol to be with hbn. So th«y tbefcr war. and^

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An answer to that petition would eamn to the comfott of large daaefn the community. If, howWer, happiness la a proper objoet of pornult then it would be too bad to destroy the bliss of those .who* in their own tgrw, are models of ekrrartMMa, »ad in the «y«a «f others are stupid asses. Take lor example that man—no myth, but flesh and bones, and probably a few tpuna—wbo, If permitted to name himself, would have been christened

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of wisdom an.1 ^kill Every body thinks tViii, ndtJ of rilly Cupidity. Wha, -hail urUhas aboal fcs|» I.v In his artf*«mt«npistk»n, othei* ffty hii|k .-au«.) I»f n»:.Tir* ««ch M|«f iu and dwt»'4 It. He newr ut ,.n»w it. And to try to make him see hui- iJf aa others see him would l»e the unkindeat cut of all. Tha spirit of Bar/ *, and of aH I.la anti-ert. ^y4o^uil--a»nV-w-.|*, .»4-bid any torturrex'.ldL^ 1 tm* wrr I \mea next. He Is a fanny f«4low. He fat the most entertaining companion to be He can tell a story with bettar than any othor living man. Ho gets off the wittiest sayings of any humorist living, dead, or unborn. He sparkle* with amusing thing*. He ^uinot help it. He was born so. He hardly daras to be as droit as he can. Ho only lets off the wit which he cannot hold in. It wouldn't be safe to give loose reins to his jolly steed. This Is the w«y he sece himself. Others look upon a as an unmitigated bore. One of his •tocfe* Is tao^D dreaded than tha seven year ttdh. It lasts about the same length of tinic, and is wort© while it lasts. His jokes are of about the same age as himsetC All who listen to his sparkling conversation «oiudder themselves deserving a plaoe 5n Fox's Book of Msrtyrs. Who would be so cruel as to give that man the power to see himself as others see him He Is happy now, very happy. What misery would fasten upon him if he knew what a bore he realty is.

Burns meant well. But It was an awful prayer whioh 1m uttered as he sat there in church and saw that louse on

The very topmost, towering: height O'MtssV bonnet." Why disturb her by revealing that which was hidden from her eyes but in sight of all others Why cry out, "OUenrajvdlnnatoss yow head

And **t your b«auU««a' atnwad YeUttleken what ca^ni ppet-d ends, dread, Tt»e

The blastte"h niaklu'! winks and tlncer Are notice taklu'!

What of It? Let happy Jennie alone. She dont know any thing about the tooM or the Anger *nda either. She enjoys totting her head, and let her toes. It may do for people who set a high value upon wisdom to utter the prayer,

Ah wad some power the gifUe. gie us To see oorsels sa others we «I iti^cuvi -™1 What airs in drw» snd gnU wsrt les us,

And even devoflon.

But there would be a gTeat cruelty in aeenrlng such a vhdon for those who ate supremely contented with themselves.

Husks and Nubbins.

under hU negl^A. Hi» ftteada, mean- not right In the grwt pwwbei-s life, while, think he wonid beavorydewnt JirttOT* went on for a couple of years uMrif be wwnot much aconoett* at on like a bolt Jfmms puppy. And ]de*BMBtle«ae*o«^ vm- e^odiM sky, came ft l«ng letter ftim •0* soaaehew lolive wtthowt the ear.- om of the two men invetved^ li«rging shine of hlslkvor, %«t glad nottol^ im|De«tSMi the wom! UbA Mrs. ir jb^niyhim. Jfow to glre that &: Woodhull bad evwr said of Mr* Beechwr. low tthe pewt aeehiaaeeilf welheeeinrn itww Mt fSrom «ae #nd of the': w» him wq«mI to take hiflttOtttet land the other that the Uiisihed oon» ptMrtlaeand tn lx Mm npon the rod- forsd-*HDf n|. tbe grtst ecandal fork with wli dov-li jrftch tl» \ek* the p««ii'.WMHl npina nu.«iti«'&f ^tn the i«i .T ,? innigd that h.- pnwtorH PlyI O plee? .Miiv Ihc thar««. But tftUl Mr. h. -f aidpOt r. Hy, ?oa.l f«r tsm«» T'Tfalm «cn«i.1cr «titn *'f u»- K.iV-f-t ami «ap41^tsBoewo«ll 1 ii. b-v i.A^ «L.4^ Mil' '^v.trv •». ««*r"'•I Kili-noe tiad:iSF !ft dreadAii »-}ja*| .'

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„s :»r4 run acAKPAJU t« y-im One of tbe most m3rsterious and stubborn scandals thst we have known for along time is the Beeoher-Tilton scandaL It involvea the moat eloquent and powerful preacher this country has over heard and, as Is supposed, but not certainly known, tbe wife of a man who, aa the editor of several prominent journals and as a popnlar lecturer hss exerted aa Immense influence on the religious thought ofthetime. Stwonldseean that tbe prominenee of those involved would have led to a full exposure of the mysterious affair long ago, bat It has not. Notwithstanding the tat that a woman of great ability and bofdn«ss,1oth In her piper and on the platform, protended to give a full account of the mystory, her story w*s net generally beli«Y*d becat»e she was b3fl to be a woman of no-

torious and dlanqwtabie character and

his way. Upon thoae whom: ptemcbm of Flymoath chunA toregMdaaftknda^ehfiitowsj^^yi^^pj, ppply to ber sweepthe patromge of Ms attention, a llttJ. ,tQg And, considering the of it, *nd thow who mfirnm him he character of Mr. Beeeher UKtow* *»d wither* by xeftutag att

reoognftico, leaving the iinwrtimtlat rmviervatlTcmind*thron^ontthe counheisuttefty nixonacioaa of their exi*-

Mm. Woodfanll, the man

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UdMW. He Is luypiqr, eo happy,In the co^ thoogbt thai he haa laid hte ««»ds ami, wld^eie larked in the air and dero^giM^Meeim^ieeiMtti^ «t- to *Kog»tll8r^bushed and tentto», and mtO» W* enemlca MMit

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Miu htwe vi-nu *,it -x.. «imi¥ mn&* Mtetm,: onl, iwcottttfertfed•» |S tl ... ^,:5 .^n, y«tf- riou«ilv

Mr. t,

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I Mr. Bneeber «ghti«lfiib* -r^hc* catd tjponndh'» «Hlltv

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Mr.

#arr

S&K JERRE HAUTE, IND., SATURDAY EVENING, JULY li, 1874.

wrtt«r wa* esfen mrry that he had been ootnpelled to allude to It. He would net rl*e by Mr. Jieeeber'a rain.^ "would ot lsy «n mud} a* a linger that aad and aomiwlng head." With the seandal he had nothh^t to do. If ttMve wi» skeleton In the eK^set of Plymouth cburdi Its members wxn^ld probably hasten to open th3 door and let daylight shlQ« throtigh the dark place« In such a strain of mingled regirt st vrhat he h«d done and of Indecision a* to what a|*buld do, does Mr. TUton's en»| ruffon, lb that if we wete In doabt before, we at« douldy so now, and out only be certain of one thing, namely, that there iaaome mystery in Plymouth church vrnum ougnt In some manner to be cleared ugt.

There is one point In Mr, Tilton's second card which calls forspsaring notice. Heftsys:

But one thing in the whole matter so conipli'uoiii nml gmuJ that It dem-rvf* notice it has not reoelvwd. We refer tb« toleration, thesytnpsthv. and the solicitude of the American ptsopt* for a great and useful u»an under a cloud of suspicion, thick and heavy enough to crush an ordlnnry character beyond recovery. Had tlitij thing happened tweaty-flve yean ago Mr. Beech, er would liave been dragged berore an ecclesiastical tribunal for trial in lens than ft month after the accnwtlons assumed a definite shape, and had he tried to preach befereatrtaihe might have been niobiKtl.

of circumstantial evidence, conftruuMl by lits own course, his name Is a precious household word, lis has the sympathy of &j»0,ouO people, who bend forward tosave oul bless him. There Is something almost sublime in the spirit and attitude of the American people, who refuse to condemn a great and useful man, even If lnsome moment of temptation or undue heat of an Impulse only tho strongest natures understand, lie dm what he Ought not. At least until compelled to do so by tbe neeentlttes ofthe case, they »ee the terrible Injustice of weighing a whole life ofunequoled servlceahleness against a momentary Infatuation, and throwing thirty-five years of consecrated etmrt for the highest ends utterly away for what may have been done to a lit of frenxy and If they condemn him at all it will be for hU effort# to evade and conceal what should have been frankly acknowledged to his own people st least, and his willingness to shield himself by allowing the Innocent to suffer for his offense.

There ie something true and much tbet is ftdse in the above. The forbearance ofthe people has been great in this matter. They have not been willing to condemn Mr. Beeeher unheard, have waited patiently, but so far in vain, for hia defence. But wo apprehend that this forbearance will not last much longer. Mr. Beecher'a prominence, his great abilities and his vast influence in siuping the religious thought of the age, ean not plead extenuation for a great crime. If be has Sinned the people must know it. They may forgive, but they eannot excuse liim. Because Mr. Beeeher Is a great man, because he has devoted along and laborious life to the elevation of society and tho good of his race, hia grave offense# and scarlet sins are not to bo overlooked. Of a man who has preached purity for thirty-five years the people have aright to demand parity in his private life. Let ns not inculcate the idea that because a man Is great and useful, towering fer above his fellows Ln mental superiority, that he is less bound by the minor morals of Mfo. Not so. On the contrary have a bettor right to demand purity in the lives of such men because of their greater strength to resist temptation.

One thing may be set down as certain in this matter and that Is that tbe whole nation unitedly demands an explanation of Mr. Beeeher. This mystery haa slept too long already. It ought to be cleared up. Mr. Beeeher has certainly done something. It may not be so bad bdl it can hardly be worse than tho people will imagine It to be li left in the present state of uncertainty. Mr. Beeeher should be strong enough and brave frtymgh to meet the matter, not with the poor defenoe of silence but with an open declaration ofthe truth. |,

Fashions' Fancies.

Rubber jewelry Is again fidahlonable. Beaded waist belts are new and fashionable.

The Alpine hat is becoming iashionab!e for ladle*.

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A return to positive colors is shown In the new Importations. feather fiuis are In Vbtfae. Tb*y Sbok well but give ilttk air.

While llrten*mtit* are trimmed with open-work embroidery. Biack silk skirt* are corded with velvelby the altra-ftaWonablee, |g rtreakfcst Jacket* are«f white French cambric covered with emiirohlery Mi the

Whit* kid tbtm felled with black and with blfieit heels are worn by the Flora MeFlitasey'l kt the HMwid*.

AH dresses eonttnttB to he made gored, *?k.h to tornt and Jn«l iwfflc^ntty tot«| lo touch tbe ground. in tM huAtor of hair, modified and braid Is worn, ahdLit. the

lor tK**« «?'iewMtoMmttrnt wiu» na St ivet li diw a* It I* ttfli affiwM *»y the «Ut air

The newest tlrtrig In glove lsoite* Is a mlnUture tinnk, divided into compartment* tor morning, nftemeoa ««d cwntHg glove*. It t* of Btwrti faetlwr, bound with m\wSH'-%o to,

ciuntiy a rtwwt^ omamwit.

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the boxes aosi fifty dollars fill ths whole sgMbr will demoralise a hundred dollar hOL

Ho fcahtonable woman Ihlnkaof wearing a oollar now-a^ajrs. Hurtles are all the go t|i|d liable to t# for some tlipe|o .0#n«4 ...

Them hi one feod thlng about thoee white gause vefis a woman who powdei| looks as respectable behind them as A woman who doesn't.

The long apron fronts now In vogue admit of very little trimming on the underskirt. Inmost cases two ruffles arc only seen on the bottom.

People and Thing®.

The sjteol boys of Boston have a regiment 800 strong. In England there are three hundred differont religious sects.

It is denied thst niton will lecture on the Beeeher and Byron scandals. Fish, Bass and Mill lot are now prominent officials under the government.

It takes sixty fortune-tellers'to keep the Chicago folks comfortably,swindled. When man parts his hair In the middle the crease Is very apt to strike Into the brain,

What shall lw dono with the weaker Vessel—Seuttlo her, or Beocher?"— [Graphic. ,! ». ill a ,vt *--1

Mayor Havermej'or, of New York, the reform Maj'or, Is now abused Jjy all tlie reformers.

People rise early at Saratoga and go to the lako to see the college lxys take their morning swim.

For gossiping, gadding and gambling, Long Branch comes first, Cape May second, and Saratoga next.

And John Champlaln was lying cold aad dead, writhing in his mortal agony," says fc New Jersey paper. 17h

It's astonlsliing with what nrauiimity English short story writers lay their sooftes in tjie tailway carriages.

The C60 Chinese students in this land must go home, being of too much expense to the paternal Government.iYi "Satan may vent his sharpest splte and sill his legion roar" was what they sung at Beecher's church, on Sundaj*. •Nine drcssmalcers and six milliners in Paris are men. They all drive in their own coaches, though many of their customers -walki1 Silt

Mr, Jewell, the new Vostmastsr General, learned the tanner's trade in his father's tannery and subsequently studied telegraphy.

Donalds ra is projecting a trip to the skies on an Indian pony which is to be bung insiings attached to the coneentrio ring of his balloon.

Two theological asses of "V^ffiiomWe about to discuss in public the momentous question whether

not a back

ward immersion is tho Bible modo of baptism.it: -"The young lady "gt^ucles are beginning to part thelr names in the middle. The valedictory at the commencement of the Loulsvlllfe High School was deliveris E aD a

Robert Collyer don't have a very high opinion of the Patriarch Isaac. He recently chanojterisod him as "a poor, feeble young man, who didn't have grit enough to court Ms own wife."

/A MrglnLa sheriff asked a murderer If he wanted to make a speech on the gallows, and the man replied "Guess not It looks like rain, and I don't want to get wet. Go on with the hanging."

A drunken Chinamen, fooling rich and elated at his progress In Amerioan civilisation, went through the street* of San Francisco crying, "Hoop-la, hoopla! Mo all the same as Melltmn man. Hair cut short and drunk like hell!"

A Brooklyn writer on street-car oourteaies holds this opinion "T6 vacate your plaee for every young thing who enters—who has been on a visit or shopping, and who will doubtless danoe a half dOMNk sets alter she get* home—Is not gallantry, but the sir of an affected fop or downright fool, and will never b® performed by a sensible man who has done a hard day's work." "Have you dwi^p sheets In your hotel f" Inquired a flwadlous old party atthe —Mouse, the otlier evening, sftef lie had written his name and handed his carpet bag to tho hall boy preparatory to ascending to the room assigned to hint. **l don$ think we liave any on hand just now," answered the bald-head-ed eterk, "but I»tt ordwafsdrputnndwr

Ibr yott, sir, directly."

The editor of the Worthlngton Hmes has mteitfi btmeij of flowefs. He nays "Tlie kind ladies of Worthlngttm have shed a halo of aweetnem thraigh the Time* oRlce sinoe oue last Issue, eiuslUg it to bear a striking resemblance to a modem Eden, In 4 floral point of vkrw Thlslsa verygraoeA^ackaowtedgement but to go fhnu sttch ft plaoe l&*%o6ia4i&d,**lr squarter «facord of rpughoak knots, and tbeia.pU, in the ktteiMMk fttul hold the tmtof while his wifti stews th* dried a|ipl«s for sapper, takes sll the romance out of it.^Loganepon Pharab

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Ifce opprasnd tobacco-chewem of Waater, Ohio, cant have any peace, even in church. A preacher then ha* now begun a war upon them. "Sunday week he diseottmod on tbe *hogg&hnem of chewt||g tn church, and after painting the oUtaee in all ita enormity, proving conclusively thai every man who chewed the weed In church was a hog, a vllllau, a rascal, and a knave^he paused in his sermon, looked his bearers steadfastly In the lace, and said: 'Now I want no more such dirty practices here. If any min chews tobacco In the house of the Lord next Sunday I shall call am in

A Chleagoan, whoae heart hi with Beedwr, |irrites: "I want to see seme oominent on that businean enterprise which caused an advertbentent to be inserted in ^nany newspapers to the effect thst The Golden Age, containing a full account of Its owner's domestic wrongs at tbe hands of Henry Ward Beeeher, would be mailed from tbe publication office to any address on the receipt of -Tit? ten oentsl' eWUe-r *W

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The women preachers number thirtyeight now,

A romantic boarding school g^rl spells jelly with the'Me." Female social clubs are bepoming numerous In this country.

Seventy-six Michigan journals arc in favor of woman vaffngo^miki ,*»ti Texas women, it Is reported, ride on both sides of their horses,

Eleven counties of IlHtwfil have ladles aa superintendents schools. Three young ladies are runnings large stock form near Dallas, Texas.

Colorado is out of girls, and asks for a fresh invoice (assorted) from the East. Detroit Free Press By the way—but never mind. Doctor Mary Walker has as much right to a tftnd pocket as any of us.

Between her ruff and the white frill Inside her hat, the f&shlonable belle peeps out like a chicken coming out of the shell.

Sarah Ward, ft Wtft&i ^irl erf1 Burlingtonr, Iown, jumped tke, rope 180 times, and then was barely able to drag herself home to die,.

A girl in this city visits all Sunday evening with her beau and at midnight makes him bring In the water for the Monday washing.

Lot's wife wouldn't have looked back, but a woman with a new dress passed her, and she wanted to see if the back breadth was ruffled.

A Mrs. Chase pays three hundred dollars a week for fehe privilege of living in the rooms onee occupied by Boss Tweed, at Greenwich, Cfyn,

Who was the' meekest man?" asked a Sunday school teacher. "Moses."

Very well, whb was tho meekest woman?" "Novqr was any." A Baltimore bride, according to a reporter, wore carta lilies in her hair. Seven ntHt lilies in a neat cluster on the top of a lady's head vfonld look well.

A Cincinnati boarding school girl, while indulging with her companions in the amusemwft Of kicking at a mark the other day, dislocated her thigh joint.

Ladles who take no particular pleasure in the looking glass are easily recognised by thq fact of their wearing a gause veil owr their faces, even ln the hottestsnramfer day. 'J

The bells of Dnbuque won a silk dm** by carrying a hod of brick to the top of a forty foot Itt^der, white a great crowd stood and cheered at the sight* And yet people conkplain of lard times.

If ladles want to loolt beautiful, l.ere is a sure rftcciptt Bat meat once a day, pickles on^ a reek, and sweetmeats once a yeslr, aooid bath ev«y day, walk five mllos every day, and then yon will have no n^sd ^pstot or powder.

F*«ttcfr!li»c*«»Wr fbldtli^f summer dresses to ffMking. Th«y are rolled In wrapping paper, and thus their freah and stiff aitpsftrftMce Is always retained. There is no reason why American ladles should w&jtafce thehlnt and do likewise.

An old lkdy in Mssaacusctu being Informed th* ft dam above the village where she lived was likely to give Way, immedlstely wished for a palrofcliMm stocking^'frying In explanation that site ones nliw a woman struggling to the water ftnftl that she fluted ahmg ftettip- -•?. v~ :-v

The "^11 dres*" of society latfiw ttowanlays is bftd enough, bu^ls wmp gmftt ^0al ww*f», tn. the Darronlo age. The story fat U)l4 th*t the poet onoe called ftt^the house of some sap^fiMh* lonftbW frtchds who h*d Just lnstalled an untied raslic *s ooachmaa. Hie latter answered the poet's knock, tmA, nonplusiied at the lafcettogatloft Whether the bw]Ue« Wcrc ftt hCmc, when the question wss *»p«*tod finally stepped forward snd eoaftdecrtly replied In a supprmiicd toiwi ^they told me to say they were out, but they'ro lo. They've goneuptttftlntostripfor^nner."

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beminitems.

Price Five Cents.

Multitudes ef women loae health, and even Ufe every year by busying themselves until warm and weary, and then throwing themselves on a bed or aofo without covering, or In a room without a fire, or by removing their outer garments after along wa}k, and changing tVeirdress while in estate of perspiration. If you have to walk and ride both, do the riding first, and on returning go to a yrarm room, and keep on all your wraps nntll your forehead Is dry.

Stupid things coming from the lips of pretty women arc laughed at and considered bright, when an ugly woman's witty sayings fall fiat. This Is not always the case. There are women whose faces are almost plain enough to ache, who have suah agreeable manners, sparkling wit and lovable dispositions thst they are general favorites and bellse wherever they are. It is by no means necessary that a woman shall be beautiful to attract gentlemen. However, men never frown on beauty, as women know.

California pea-pods are far superior to orange peel for throwing the unwaj^' pedestrian off his equilibrium* Here Is what happened to a lady In San Francisco, as described by a paper of that city: "She kicked witfc both feet as high as a ballet star, gave the peculiar, shrill, femlnines cream, sat down, said, •Oh my,' smoothed down her disordered attire, looked around wildly, rose quickly, shook herself to see if anything was loose, gave a withering glance at the place where she had fallen, and, with all the spare blood she had in her face, went on with her shopping."

Connubialities.

MENTAL RESERVATIONS. MS. For better, for worn?"

*!%.» (And th« sate of her puree «1:. »fi," Por richer, for poorer" (Of course 111 endure her "ft! aperish)_cherish" ... fall death us do part" (Then at her aim his dart I)

sickness and health" (Why notT with her wealth 1) To love and to i'd otherwise "Till

SHB.

For better, for worse"

iwt*- 4m, (TO old maids I'm averse Mi

Qr richer

for poorer"

(And age has no ctirrr rt In sickness and health" (Time creeps on by stealthl To love, cherish, obey" (Bo I marry this day.) Till death do us paTtw (Then

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trj- widow's art.)

Ufart and wife are one, but which oiie, IS tho question. Twenty brides were at & Niagara hotel In one day last week.

If a pretty girl cannot see any joke in a kiss, repeat it and oak Iter to solve the re-buss. "T»

Brigham Young's favorite wife has an outfit In tbe way of horses, harnoss and carriage valued at $2,000.

Mem. for young ladles: An Iowa oeurt holds that a promise to marry must be in writing In Order to bind.

Down in Kentucky the traveler hears fond husbands say: "Come, darling, come in and get dinner, or I'll mash your old red head with a club!"

A couple recently married at Taunton had been courting thirty years, having been affianced before the birth of the clergyman who united them.

A Brooklyn husband comforts his wife for the less of their dear little eight-montha-otd, by reminding her that there will be more room on the clothes-line now.

An lotto"charivari party that pulled the clothce off the bed were each fined twenty-five dollars the next day. They haven't such a keen sense of humor now.

The warden of the I'tah prison is said to have five wives, with children by four of them. He has a written oontrsct with two of those wives binding them to support themselves and their children*

Ah, ladies," said an old epicure, as ne opened a bottlo of wine, "what is more delightful than the popping of a champ*ign» cork 7" Tho popping of tbe question," unanimously cried the ladle*. frhe Schenectady Star I* responsible for the statement thst a June-bug, buxw»ng atonnd In a dark Watertown parlor, flew against a young lady's face with such force as to become hopelessly entangled In her beau's mohstacheF1

An, elderly clergyman of Chicago when asked the other day why he had never married, replied that he had spent bis life In looking for a woman who ah««ld refrain from working him a pair of slippers, and he had never found her.

In Prescott, Wis., an ambitious widow married "a wealthy planter from the Bermudss in search of health.,if He afterwards stepped out & oonrert!l,2QO 6t her money into United States bonds, and tt Is supposed tlisft he tuwgone bftck to "the Bermudas." 2fot many yea** a^e ft Hartfortl nadi* as drowned, and friends brought home the dead body to Ids afflicted wife. As ttasy came to tbe front door with the corpse the new-made widow appeared attd sadly remarked: "I guess you had better take him around to the back doer, soihe won't drip on the carpets.

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