Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 4, Number 49, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 6 June 1874 — Page 4

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THE MAIL

A PAPER

FOR THE

PEOPLE.

P. S. WESTFALL, EDITOR AK» PROPRIKTOR.

TERRE HAUTE, JUKE«, 1874.

TWO EDITIONS *.

Of this f*ap*r »r* pabiUlned. Ill* riBST KniTION, on Friday Evwdnf, H—a»lA!i.Ht ttttb«MtrP(NUMlln« towns, wl»6f* it to noW by «»aw*|w3w and

Th« HBCOND EDITION, Satard*&Kvmln«, focatnto the band* erf wan «*iv rwllnf r.-rsTk I® the ctt* and feuu«g*afTII .'^MDIALEVIAI'NY.

Erar W«*k*» Issue te, TWO NEWSPAPERS, In which all Advertisement* appear ftw

ONE CHARGE.

ANON YMO US SLA NDERERS. Boring the recent absence of the editor of The Midi, tf* city press have had not a littleto say about "anonymous alanderera," called oat by an article from Mrs. John Smith. While we admit that it is the doty of the publisher of a paper to »:xerrise all dn© cautien to protect the character of citisens against irresponsible persons who may seek the columns of his paper to vent malice or spleen, we claim that the publisher of The Mail has done this. The correspondent of Tho Mail who writes spicy letters under the worn de plume Mrs. John Smith, is not an irresponsible person, venting spleen or malice but an intelligent, honorable, and high-minded lady, who says plainly what die thinks, and holds herself responsible for what she say?.

But this communication of hers has been made the occasion of renewing the attacij, upon our Town Talk column. For this oolumn the editor of the paper holds himself responsible. Whether he writes it himself or employs somebody else to do it, is nobody's business. It Is not known who writes all the editorials of any paper of this city, and it is nobody's business. If an editor employs some one to write for him—and many do—or if he accepts what some one offers—and this is often done—only so that he accepts the responsibility for the sentiments expressed or the statements contained in it, a® he does by admitting it to the editorial column, it is his. The same is true of any other dolumn of h« paper fir whi^h he accepts the responsibility.

The charge that the Town Talk column has oontained slanders we deny most emphatically., While soml abuses have Ween dealtwitlr sharply fa this department, and some foibles have been unveiled, yet it is not true that any one fin« been slandered and, with the exception of the ogj-Iiost article?—for -which? -we have formerly expressed our regret —eyen the foibleB and disagreeable peculiarities of individuals |ave not been improperly delineated. We have the endorsement of many of our best citizens that this column has been the source of much harmless amusement

our readers, and has exercised a great and good influence upon political, business, moral, andretigious opinions and actions. The aiin Iras been Ibr good—if evil has been done, the error has been of the h™"4 and not of the heart. But our only aim in this article is to put in a denial of the anonymous character of the Townlfelk articles, not to disclaim theif slanderous nature. In this respeect they show for themselves.

We may add that Tewn Talk is a feature of The Mall, started with the first issue under the present proprietorship, and will probably continue so long as it remains under the present control*

OVKBWORK is made the pack-horse to bear many burdens which do not belong to it. It is altogether more flattering to one's pride to he thought, or to think one's self, as suffering from excessive labor, than from intemperance in eating or drinking, or from tashlonable dressing, or from too great indolence to take necessary exercise, or from other like cause*. Yet when the exact truth come out, if it ever does, a great many people who complacently consider themselves martyi* to hard work, will find themselves criminals punished for the violation of physical and moral laws. Emily Faithful say* that both Dr. Avery the physician of Vassar College, and frfoi Mitchell the professor of Astronomy in that institution, declare that the rirla who study the hardest are the healthiest. These same persons attributed the bad health of American women generally to the terrible severity and extremes of climate, oomMned with the unwholesome habit of heating houses by furnaces, to the exclusion of all proper ventilation, and the wide spread disinclination to physical exercise of any description, "I venture to add that the delicacy complained of is also due to the fearful rapidity with which our

Anerieu oousina appiv the rule of doing «smartH* w!..w-\or they have in hand, to th«r mi-uN. nn.t t- the Internparateoseofk •••. j^. ^liou^Finter and summer

What Is true of wom is true of tnea. No doubt overwork inj snany, bot over-eating and drink, .*, irregularity ineettag and sleepin*. rki* food, and a-' like, ©cession a umiH. tajwr amount of ilt coming to the form of dyspept paralyse, •pcttf**?, and oth erdisea—

*fte» said of borees

that they urtil do -mostany amount of work iftheyatrr w. cared Ibr* This la true of hoi sea, and His also trn^ofmen and wo

IKDIAKA is exosedinf^y well officered at present, and RspaWiean eonvenUotw ue recommei og ttu«t thaae renominated.

Slfl8B8

"Jir *019 8TJ***" iha world's progress is not so much by steady growth, as by fitftal start*. We talk of the "marah of progress." There la no machinery about it, but rather a sertea bf 1e^a, fiw* ft* one direetion and then In another, and often in Unos most unexpected.

As an example of this take illuroinati m, *n»e streets, the halls and the ft»lies of those living a» long befere the begging of the christian era as we live altar It, were just as brilliantly illuminated as were those of any part of the world seventy-Aye years slnee. Then all at once the discovery of gas was made, and this was followed by the discovery of electrical light. Oil, pinewood, and wax have been known as 11 laminatom almost as fiur back as history goes, and it is within the memory of many now living that the leap has been made to gas, and to the Drammond light In which a ball of time, %of an inch in diameter, gives alight equal 12) to wax candles, and is so intense that it will cast a shadow 10 miles distant.

Then take traveling. Probably Jehu, whose name has come down the centuries as the last driver, was able, in his day, nearly a thousand years B. C. to travel just as fast as any man could travel fifty or seventy -five years since. And on the sea, until the same period, none could go faster than the minds would drive them. Steam came, and the World leaped from horses, and coaches, and sailing vessels, to cars and steamships, and the journeys of days were reduced to journeys of houreJ L^'

Alid in means of coinmUnTcatlon It is the same. We who are yet young have witnessed the leap from pony expresses no swifter than might have existed four or five thousand years since, to the telegraph which bears its messages around the world with the rapidity of thought.

In mechanical instruments it is the same. Our mothers may have had. a little better needle than Abraham's Sarah, but it Js doubtful whether they could sew any faster or better. But the ruffles, and tucks and quilting, and embroidery which are got through in a day on the sewing machine, would have taxed Sarah and our mothers for a month. The change has come in a day as it were. The scythe and the sickle and the flail, were well known ages since, and nothing better was known thirty years since. But from these the granger has leaped to the mowing machine and reaper and thresher. In other directions it is the same story.

In politics, morals, religion, science, %nd

philosophy,

there is.the same meth

od of advancing by leaps. Monarchssat easy on their thrbues fro in time immemorial, or, if they were unseated, it was only to give place to other monarchs. A throne has all at once, or within a very short period, come to be a mighty uncertain place, to sit. From one-man power to universal suffrage is a big leap, and yet it has beeft made in a very few years. The dark ages hung long and heavy oyer the world, but all at once the Reformation came, and a mighty leap forward was taken. The church and all other good causes have always grown by a kind of "revivals." Slavery existed almost unquestioned from the beginning of history till within a century, and the world, the civilized world, has leaped out of it. In science the mind of man leaped up among the stars, and the science of astronomy was the result, and in a century or two this science advanced more than it had for thousands of years. Next there was a dive into the earth, and the scienco of Geology was the result^ The earth had always been under men's feet, but they had never thought about studying it, except upon the surface. So is it, tarn whichever way we will, that the world is seen to move fitfully, first jumping in this direction and then in that.

There is encouragement in this. Wonderfully great changes are wrought in wonderfully short periods. If one sees a glimmer of light before him, he may push for It, in the hope that that which Is but a dim star in his eye, he may live to see ft sun lighting and warming nations. No reformation is too great to be undertaken, no science too little known to be studied, no troth too much unkrirtfcrn or despised to he asserted, defended and taught.

Then we are not to be frightened beinse people say, as for example, of the temperance movement, that it will not last. It may not, but every such movement, whether In morals, science, politics, or what not, is a leap forward. The world may jump in another direction next, but again has been made in this. We are not to be frightened because we sea things moving oil this side now, Mid on that ride then, and on another ride afterwards. The old world may seem to us like a heavily loaded wagon on a steep hill, or a heavy road, with the horses giving a jerk first this way and then that, and hardly ever straight forward all together. It la somewhat so. But etary jerk works the load along a little, and we are getting nearer the top of the hill or the further tide of the slough. If we all whip up the horses, and shout encouraging, and lay a shoul der to the wheel when we can, progress will be

JtrrxHjeo from the tone of party papers throughout the SUte, both Republican a»d Democratic the Indianapolis Journal fa ot oplnlbn that the «M*d party movements not relatively as strong as it was a month ago. There will be Independent tickets In a number of countk*, and the convention on the 10th of Jane will probably nominate a State tif&et, but both patttea aeem to be mak log tbdrarrangementa for a square ftgbt, without regard to the feraier*' move-

THE SANK AMONG THE INSANE. Ia la dlflkwlt to ©oneeiveof more horrible late for a sane person, than to be adjudged inaaue and confined In a lunatic asylum. Yet the eaae with which this can be done, and the frequency with which it welly Is done, If known, would startle the oommnnity. Even now there is a case in Connecticut in point. A Mr. Morgan wanted to get his wifo out of the way, and as it appear*, though her neighbors regarded her a» perfectly sane, yet he has kept her for yeara in an asy luui. In this city, a flew years since, a man, now dead, who was as sane as any man who drinks whisky to exqeas, was adjudged insane, and would have been confined in the asylum at Indianapolis, but for the fhet that there wsa not room for him. The man deserved to go there, or almost anywhere else out af the way of decent people, but there was no insanity in his case, or, as we have said, no more than in tfie ease of any person who has an overwhelming appetite for whisky. Hundreds of people on the streets of this city might with equal justice, or with no greater injustice, be sent to the asylum. An investigation of this subject would, without doubt, reveal the fhet that there are hundreds of persons incarcerated in insane asylums unjustly. Once there it

Is almost Impossible to get out. Proteats are of no avail. In fhet strong protests are very likely to be regarded as evidences of insanity rather than of sanity. This is a subject which demands more attentiou than it has yet received. While it should be made no more dfllcult to place the really insane where they will be safe, and the best cared for, and where the community will be protected against them, yet there should be absolute certainty that all who are sent to the asylums are insane. This is not the case now.

WEDDING TRIP.

The wedding day and the funeral day, may he said to be the most eventful and expeusivo periods of life. At the marriage, money is lavished because a fellow can't help it and at the burial, monoy is lavished for the purpose of making a grand display. Both customs are wrong. The modest, unostentatious wedding betokens good sense on the part of the contracting parties and an inexpensive funeral denotes more reverence for the departed, on the part of the survivors, than grandjdisplay does. There is a deal of truth in the following, from the Fort Wayne Gazette:

It would be an excellent idea if soinc of the newly-married youths and maidens in this marrying month of May would institute the economical reform of abolishing the traditional wedding trip, and go quietly into their new heme like birds to their nest. The "wedding trip" is prodigiously expensive the bride is embarrassed and uncomfortable she really would rather g6 to- the 'cottage' from" the paternal mansion, and then, when the novelty of the n.arried state has a little' tvorn off, she can take her trip with some degree of enjoyment. This whole business of rushing pell ipeD aboard a train of thundering cars sojourning in diminutive rooms in alien hotels Keeping in a fervid state of excitement and weariness is enough to break down any young girl at the very threshold fc^rrtatt-fcd existence. The expense of the thing, too, is to be considered. Her loving husband is sure to spend money recklessly, just to let her see that he has got it, and she, believing him thereupon to be a Midas, discovers that she has a million necessities to be satisfied, and the unfortunate youth comes home with a sadly depleted purse. It is a strange tendency, this thing of running away from home and friends because one gets married. Hundreds of worthy young fellows would marry, if the stay-at-home practice were the rule."

IT appears that quite a system of abuses has grown up In the various departments at Washington in reference to the matter of "contingencies." From allowing certain officers to have horses and carriages necessary for the transaction of official business, it has come to be no uncommon thing for these officers to have family turnouts, the expense of which is cliarged and allowed as contingencies. In nearly all departmental Christmas and New Years presents of gold pens, knives, Ac., are made to subordinates and others, and charged as contingencies. It seems to bo very difficult for people to get down to strict honesty in their doalings with the public treasury.^

TERRi) HAUTE SATUKDAY jfivENDTG MAIL.

THK Golden Age, commenting tlpon omftn right in tho pulpit, say*: "\t Jenny lind had aright to sing, if Anna Dickinson has aright to lecture, if George Eliot has aright to write, if Mrs. Scott Siddons has aright to play, when Miss Smiley has right to preach. Any woman who can do any one of these things well is divinely ordained to do it,"

TIIK Washington correspondent of tho Indianapolis Journal says the impression is quite general that Vice President Wilson will never again be able to occu py the chair and preside over the deliberations of the Senate. Mr. Wilson it nearly blind In his left eye, and the duties of presiding officer are such as to aggravate his ailment.

A THouoamx writer observe* that we iaever wee an advertisement forbid ding the world to "haHwr or trust my wife," etc., the same having "l«ft nay bed and board without just oauae or provocation," etc., without wishing to read the wife's statement of the case. There are generally two sides to a story,

TUB students at HowdoiO College have got their backs up because the authorities have introduced the military drill system, and about 100, nearly all but the Settle**, have been sent home for refbaai to comply with the requirement. This appeara to be a good year for College rebellion*.

ew^gsS!5S@99Ri

NOT UNDERSTOOD.

Ttie fkvorite complaint of ninety-nine men and women out ofa hundred Is that they are »ot understood.

Every married woman with fondnimi frtf irttnlf COBfiu69 tO her Intimate friend that ber bosband, kind and well-meaning as he to, doea not understand her.

Every married man who ia injhe slightest degree addicted to the morbid habit nf lilsenrtinir hia own emotions firmly believes that hia wift totally &il» to understand him.

As for the unmarried of cither sex, they accept as a matter of course the conscious insolation that springs from being understood by all their kind.

At the same time that we are all complaining because we are misunderstood we are making it the aim of our lives to conceal our true selves from anyone

It*la like the tall dross paradox. The leaa a lady clothes her shoulders and arms the near, she approaches to the state of "full dress." The more'we wish to be understood the more we pose ourselves in assumed characters.

You, my dear sir, who sadly say to yourself over your solitary evening elgar, "No one understands me," really mean that no one accept* ou as the person of unique merit which you wish to convince tne world that you are.

You, my dear madame, who say to your intimate lady friend, or the sympathetic young man with whom you are carrying on a perfectly unexceptionable flirtation, "Nobody understands me," simply mean tliat no one concedes that you have succeeded in perfectly disguising yourself as a woman of exceptional strength of mind, dell6acy of feeling, and capacity for everything that is noole and excellent in your sex.

Now, tho truth Is that we are all of us understood by our friends quite as thoroughly as we desire to be.

A man Is nearly always accurately gauged by the world, so four as his merits are concerned. A woman is nearly always understood by her feminine friends as thoroughly as she wishes them to understand her.

Which of us would be willing that the secret thought and emotions that we keep carefully hidden should be surprised even by our truest and best friend? Yet that is what must precede the process of being thoroughly understood.

Still there is a degree ef knowledge of a man or woman which is something less than this intolerable exposure, and something more than the knowledge which the world attains. And it is a curious fiict that the person admitted to this knowledge is always of the opposite sex to the one making the revelation.

No woman ever thoroughly understands another woman and no man perfectly comprehends another man.

A woman lias an instinctive fear of being unwomanly by every other woman. A man is never free from the dread of doing something that his best friend, even il he loves him as a brother, may think unmanly. And so, whether we are men or women, we always keep up a barrier of conventiality between ourselves and those of our own sex.

It is only to a man that a woman reveals herself. It is only in the presence ofa woman that a man lays aside the reserve that ho maintains among his fellows. No woman knows her own sister as well as does the young man with whom she has had a six months' friendship. No man understands tha friend of twenty years of masculine intimacy half so well as the woman whom the latter has oourted for six weeks understands him.

Does it follow, then, that married people know each other perfectly,? By no means.

The doors of intimacy that were open during the days of courtship grow rusty on their hinges after marriage.

By and by, in tho confidence of mutual affection, a free criticism of one another's faults becomes frequent, the atmosphere crows a little chilly, and the doors are shut forever.

A woman does not like to whisper. "You may look into my inmost heart" to the man who feels so much with her that he is quite capable Of saying, "Thanksbut just wait till I find my pipe. I can't sec why it is that you women always will put things where a man can't find them."

There is precisely one relation in which men and Women aro known perfectly through and through, in their inmost grain and fibre, by one another. It is that of unlawful love.

It is partly the recklessness that follows a step once taken that can never be retraced, and partly the isolation that a shameful secret carries with it, that lead to this absolute unveiling of good and bad alike which marks the relation of the faithless wife with her passionate lover.

And this unveiling is perhaps the reason why it is that the man and his mistress must ultimately quarrel, and bitterly despise one another.

It was never meant that we should stand mentally and morally naked before our fellows. If we really long to do

so,

It is a morbid longing that ought to be promptly suppressed. And so let me say to the wife who wails that she is not understood, and the husband who would make a similar plaint if he did not fear ridicule, you are longing for that which can never bo reached uy open and peaceful paths.

Individualism was not made the condition of humanity without a purpose. The separate soul Is not segregated In its separate body by an expensive error. It is worse than folly for us to long for a "Pan-Humanity," in which one vast and identical soul shall inform the myriad bodies of the race. MATADOR.

IAMQUT WOMJSN.

Was Barbara Freltchio a mvth?" Inquires several papers. "Certainly not die waa a married woman," replies the Kingston JVtwman.

Olive Logan returns to America in July and to the stage in the fell, bringing to it Home new pieces and some splendid cestumea~-Paris built, both,

When asked by a friend at the Fifth Avenue how she liked her new name alio waa able to pucker up her pretty mouth enough to say that "It Is SartorisIkotofv," and her friends feel a calm eonfttfeneo that after that she cannot be ocurichit waa the Detroit Free Presa that gave publicity to the feet that Maria IJOveiny, of Fond du Iwsu\ Is now push* Innr her fourth breach Of promise suit, and the railroad has had to put an extra train on for the benefit of young men who want to get out of that town.

Th« Benefit of the Doubt,—Ethel—

Br aaaatof Congress, all congressional elections, beginning with the year 1876, will be held on the same day.

And Ob 1 mamma, do yon know, as we were coming along, we saw a horrid, horrid woman, with a red striped ahawL drink something out of a bottle, and then hand It to some men. sure sne waa tipsy." Beatrice (who always looks ou the best side of things*-" Perhaps it was only castor oil, after all.'

TSSB%1!I one comfort In warm weath

er.

it hastens the adjournment of Con* gresa.

SINGING PRAISES.

OmOtd Bemmd Who Dotm't Wmtll Dime i» Operate Style.

In the report of the proceedings of the Southern afetbodiat Conference, in session at Louisville, occurs the following in relation to church music:

The following resolution was then oftared and read 2 Resolved, That our Btshopa be, and they are hereby requested, in their historical address, to (mil attention to and express their disapprobation of operatic

Srown

erformances in our Churches, which the sense of our hymns and utterly destroy congregational singing."

Dr. Green said lama kind of singing man myself—have sung whole campmeetings through—but we have to manage this thing the best wav we can. We wont accomplish much by legislating or by the pastoral address. I have found that a church la made up of different characters first, you find one man that is happy when he gets something to do with the monoy matters he secattnat the preacher gets his pay, and don't believe tM anybody's got religion that don pay. Next, you have a man that goes for prayer-meetings. He prays a good prayer nimaelf, and he gets happy, and the meetin' is always better fer his being there. Another says class-uieetln'a, by all means. He's got an extra experience, and he wants to tell It. Another goes for the preacher when he oomes, takes him to ma house, treats him kindly, and gets him to tell stories for him. Another doesn't care much for the meetings, or for anything else but the preaching he always thinks the last sermon the best. Another doesn't have anything to do with the praver-meetings doesn't care much about tne sermon ne doesn't ring, and we don't know what to do witli him but he keeps the candles snuffed, puts water on the pulpit, and keeps out the dogs, ana makes the boys behave, and savs when you come out, "Did you ever see better order than that And another comes up to you and asks you for the hymns. He says they ain't much

on singin,' but he's got a few of'em together and tryin' to learn 'em how. Now my plan is to cultivate 'em all, each in his own way, so as not to get one opposed to another. I recollect an old darkey named Abram. He used to raise the "AINU*." They got a choir in his church, and one day he came over to me and said he wished I would go down there, that they had all got into confusion tho niggers liad Drought them books with long ends in thar, and were tryin' to sing two or three tunes to the same words, at the same time—they were singing bass, you know. The fact is, they had supplanted Abram. I have had a great deal of trouble about singing. I have given out a hymn, and Snooks over there started a tune too short for it and then he tries it again and gets it too long, and after two or three times his son Job holloas out, "Stop dad, I think I've got it." There ain't many of them who can start a tune right—they either get so low as to drown or so iiign they can't get over. Now, there's two ways ta remedy this— first, bv dispensing with the hymnbooks altogether and give out the hymn, line upon line, or give them all hymnbooks, and give out the hymn—not the number of tne hymn and the page too, because they'll get confused, out give out one or t'other. Tell them they've all got to sing. GO to the loader, and tell him: Brother, start a plain tune that the old folks all know. Let the preacher take charge of it kindly, and not captiously. They won't read the pastoral address the pastors should manage it themselves.

SOCIETY AND FASHION.

The old Louis XV. steel buckles (which frequently cost, in Paris, a hundred francs per pair) are again to bo seen on walking shoes.

Little capote bonnets with gray silk crowns and chip fronts, either white or black, are much worn.

A mania for seed pearls has broken out among the fashionables, and jewellers say the demand was never greater.

Women of intelligence are beginning to share the preference for a coarse ana perfect diet to which the upper classes of England owe their fine development.

Borders are now used with carpets, and the expense is no greater than without them. Japanese designs In quaint small figures and intricate tracery are tho new fancy for carpets of the better quality.

The novelty in black suite is the long apron made of lengthwise rows of black

ing sash ends skirts. For neglige wear, striped silk stock ings are considered in good taste. So are tho richer white and flesh colors for full dress. But the drawback to their popular use Is their expense, which deters many* who would oe glad to ei\joy them. "They are beading those lace scarfe worn around the neck for some reason or another, and the great aim and ambition of each and every lady appears to be to get the bead* as large as possible.

The most stylish black hate, if of straw or chip, are trimmed with white in the shape of a twilled soft silk scarf. This scarf should be simply arranged in loose, easy folds around the crown, the ends being knotted together.

The ladies now have a fashion—said to be French—of holding up their skirts with the right ban*! on tne promenade. They take a handful of the back breadth and bring It around to the side, deluding unsophisticated people Into the belief that Innumerable yards of material have been used In tho construction of the dress. ^mBas^sssss^se!

DECADENCE OF POLITENESS. [New York HeraM.J Spanish women thank every passing admirer for a word of compliment to their beauty but American women demand an Introduction before they can lie grateful for a fevor. When they are offered a

seat

in the street car they fell

Into it wHh the dullness

a wooden

image, and they need not wonder if, after a time, men grow tired of being kind to such Ill-mannered goddesses. Politeness to ladies in public conveyances has gone out of fesnion, and high atraiis, or low st raps, Is not likely to oome in again till tin ladies themselves learn better manners.

RECKLESS EXTRAVAGANCE {tJourter-JooroalJ A Boston millionaire offered a man two dollars and a half the other day for stopping a runaway team and saving the life of his daughter. He cant hope to be a millionaire long if he Is going to squander his money in that way.

ABOUT MSN.

A Lehigh (Pa.) man trails a beard 4 feet three incbea along. I am dyeing for love," said a meli cboly young man. as he put the 00% blade fluid upon hia moustache.

A suicide left a note recently, sayi that as be had no clothes to hang on rack he had concluded to suspend hi» self from it.

A colored man in Kentucky said 1 blushed for his brethren, and they akh& ned him to find out whether he spoil the truth or not.

Gentlemen who haven't the neoeasaii means for visiting afeshionable rose this summer, can purchase a SaraU trunk In which to recreate themselves!

A man in San Francisco has star® the novel theory that It hurts a Chiil| man to be stoned to death. Thisisacu rious idea, and there ia some talk of vestlgatlng the subject.

Some effeminate New York swells aafflicted with the "Grecian Bend" a meander the avenue as if they had pi taken of green fruit. They hold their bows dose to their sides and allow the hands to fell in front like a puppy sitting up for cake. A good blow wi a club, or. better Mill, an old-feshion^' kick, would be highly beneficial to ihes I masculine Nancys.

At Evansville, recently, a man fer into a ditch on the outskirts of the town A pedestrian helped him to his feet. an. after the thing had been accomplish* our hero said: "All right—hio—I'1 vote for you." The stranger looked him doubtfully, and wished to knov what for. "Wna* office you runnin for I None at all." was tho an swer. "Not a candidate?'' "No, why? ••Why—hie—why? "Cause I don know as any rnan'd—hio—help 'noth as you did 'thout beln' a candidate!"

Ms CONNUBIALITIES.

sav-#

Linen oollars are worn much wider a Many of the black bonnets are. composed altogether of bugle Brussels net and French lace.

Feathers are by rttTmeiitfS discarded for the summer. They are, however, short and light and generally of a bright or white color.

Gone goose—Mr. Gosling who marrieT a St. Louis duck last week.—[Bostoi Post.

A maldon lady says that if single IIK Is bad it stands to reason that double life is twice as bad. jf

A Wyoming paper delicately annouiu es thatlts charge for marriage notices i*| "just what the eestacy of the bridegroon may prompt.

In Vermont last year there was one di voree to every nineteen marriages, an. some curious individual is laying awakv., nights to discover why that nineteenth couple got married.

A generous husband permitted hi: wife to carry a large baby from one do pot to the other yesterday, while he bowed beneath the weight of a little willow basket. "Joe, my Joe John, you might liavo been in that row had you possessed a $ little more courage," was the pathetic remark of a Portland widow to a gentle-J man friend wnile visiting the three mounds of her respective late lamented*.

Mrs. Foster has climed to the summit of Popocatapetl, the greatest altitude ever attained by "woman. Her first e\ clamation, when she got up there, waa, "Gracious me I what a high old spot to pitch Mr. Foster from!"

Considerate—This man knew what he was about. He lived In tho coantrv, and in buying an axe the other day he was particular to select the smallest one he could find. An acquaintance asked him why be did so, and he replied: 1 "Well, my wife isn't enjoying very good health this winter, and if I get a heavier one I'm afraid she won't be able to cut the wood."

Already the brides and bridegrooms^ have put in an appearance at Niagara, much to tho gratification of hotel-keep-ers and servants. Niagara has a peculiar fascination for newly-married people, for, sitting on the balcony at tho Clifton house, they can say all manner of sweet things to one another and not be overheard by reason of the incessant roar of the fells.

To a handsome girl who feSfktotdod to an advertisement for a plain cook—"You won't do. You're too pretty aver to be a good plain cook

When a husband returns home after a long absence, and hears theparrot shouting, "Kiss me, darling," as soon as his wife enters the room, his interest in "Enoch Arden" naturally begins to deepen.

There are at least sixteen good natured husbands in Boston. Their wives, constituting a club devoted to tho art of cooking, meet once a week at each other's houses, where they discuss the lat- 1 est improvements in the culinary art.

And says she: "Well, if you haven't any time and must go over to the store, you nocdn't beat the carpet. I suppose we can live like pigs a month longer aa well as not."

According to the Green Bay (Wis.)"Ad- 1 vocate, they have an improved method of making responses in the marriago ceremony at Oconto. On a recent occasion a man whose mind was somewhat obfhsticated by an Injury he had received, was married, and in reply to the lm-4 portant question, "Will you take this* woman to be your lawfully wedde wife replied, "Yes, and tne cow a" the heifer, and they ought to bo fo lliis answer was regarded as sati tory.

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GOING TO EUROPE. [New York Letter.]

It seems as if every third iew Yorker was talking about going to Europe this season. Some are going to take advantage of the dull times to run over tho continent with their families. Others are tempted to visit the old world by the great reduction being made in feres owing to the competition of the steamship companies. "THEORETICALLY [Cincinnati Commercial.]

Theoretically, at least, there is no class 4 of men in the community who aro offidaily supposed to know less of what goes on In a saloon than the policemen.

Ceataar Liniment. The gmtt dincoveiy of the age. There I* no pai 0 which the Centaur Liniment will not relieve, no swelling which tt will not wiWue. and no lamenew whfeh it will not care. This i* strong language, bat it in tru®. it la nonomboa Jhe re irntarME printed around each botfem. A cSnilar c.nlaitvl n« ^lflc«te« of won-

liiwI«SitSM«oB» blte«, frown feet, goat,

rot aui&^nW

r«h

hundred dollar* for spavined, stiainedor ratted home* and males, and for acrew-worm SNGFTEEIFC No fiunlly or «took-o*mor can afford to i» without Centaur Liniment. Price, mcent» large bottle, IM», J. B. Rom AC©., S3 Broadway, New York. "Cwitoria i* more than a snbsUtute for Castor on. It is the only safe article in existence which is sure to regulate the bowels, cure twind-colic a*d produce natural ideep. It is pleasant to take. Children need net cry and mother! may sleep.