Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 4, Number 6, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 9 August 1873 — Page 1

Vol. 4.—No. 6.

THE MAIL.

Office, South th Street.

TowrwTalk.

HASH!

Town Talk read in Tbo Mall last week a

paragraph

mated

weeks

in which it wa* esti­

that ono-third of the whole pop­

ulation or the United States live in boarding houses and hotels. T. T. is a member of that much suffering estimated one-third. Although the probability of that estimate being correct, is painful to think upon, yet an estimate an to what that ono-third of the human family have to eat, and how it is cooked, would be still moro painful. Of course such an estimate could not be made, yet the experience of every person who has been so unfortunate as to have passed a few years in different cities and in various .boarding houses, renders him able to form a pretty fair Idea as to how that oue-tbird or the population lives.

T. T, thinks he has had the necessary experience, nnd if askod, would answer that "Hash" is the diot of a very largo majority of that unfortunate fraction of tl»e United States. By "hash," T.T. does not refer to that very palatable dlah made of nlco fresh beef and potatoes, such as made by his mother, chopIed to a proper fineness, with or without

onions—the

A

hash, not his mothcr-

but ho rotors to cheap over-cooked moat,

under-done

potatoes, vellow-

streaked biscuit, muddy coffee, and the most outrageous, sickening, detestable of all—strong butter, the very concentration of all filthy, most nasty Hastiness. Tho above bill of fare is a very good.sample of "hash," in the general acceptance of tho term, and that's what tho very large majority of the unfortunato one-third lives upon.

while speaking of butter, T. T.

must tell what happened a couple of

since at a boarding-house of no

lowly pretensions. The houso, so far as the building is concernod, is a very comfortable one, with cbeorful rooms, —something not to be bad in every house—but tho enjoyment of the victuals was marred by the continual pres­

ence

of a dish of butter that looked so streaked, and tasted so strong that one might easily havo believed it to have been churned from the milk of the cow that cftino out of Noah's ark. The boarders solomuly rosolved that of that sort of butter they would havo no more, and organised themselves into a society called the "A. 8. B.C.,"which Is supposed to be

an

abbreviation of An.

tl-Strong Ilutter Club." At first they tried Joking—saying

tl,Rt

lh®

In

Suitor

was "naturalized," "old enough to vote ot\, but "It would not down," As often us one dish full was forced down, another of the same sort took its place. So another plan of attack was determined upon. At each meal, the respective mombors would place an enormous chunk of tho composition on their plates, and accidentally upsot molasses over it, or somo other coloring, that wouldn't wash out, so that It would spoil Its appearauee for the table thereafter.

this way such a quanti­

ty of It was got away with that the landlady found !t cheaper and more satisfactory to her guests to furnish good butter, and the happiness of tho "A. 8. H. CV knows no bounds. There is a certain hotel In this city whose boanlort may find a usoful hint in the above.

Hut to return to '•bash" in general. Two sorts of peoplo keep the same sort of hotels and boarding-houses. That Is, tho people *»o different, but the "hash" Is the same. To llluslrsto There is Mrs. Feedemcheap, who solicit® genteel gentlemen to accept genteel board at her house, for a reasonable remuneration, where all the comforts of homo will be tound. T.T. was tired of his boarding-house— be usually changes with the moon—be is fond cf change, particularly "small change"— Indeed change Is written in everything earthly, and T.T. is of tho earth earthly he delight* to ring the changes it affords him as much pleasure as it doe«

Frank

Whltaker, the equestrian direc­

tor of Barnum*#, to pull the cord attached lo the bell which rings the changes of the ring. But to return to bis muttou. T. T. went to Mr*. F«KIomcheap''*, rang the bell, and Mr*. P. conducted him to a very nicely furnished sitting-room, where she scraped and smiled, and smirked and bowed. It waa plain that she Haltered herself that she kept a

finrt-clasa

place, all the

time eyeing T. T. as If measuring his pocketbook aud capacity for poor "grub." Five minute* at her dinner table, however, convinced T. T. that Mm. F*s flatteries regarding her firstclass house, are very much oat of place, ar* the longer he stayed there the firmer he became convinced thai Mr*. F. buys the cheapeet and the poor* est quality of meat* and veg*uble*.and that she Is mistaken in regard to dried apple saucs dried apple pie*, and dried apple podding, day in aad day oat, being absolute luxuries. And yet, strange as It appear*, Mr*. boarders

stay with her. It must bo remembered that Mrs. F. keeps a genteel house and to board there is genteel, and there are plenty of people who would prefer eating dried apples all the days of their lives and bo genteel, than to be common and eujoy "square meals."

Mrs. Feedemcheap is a sample of one sort of people who keep boarders, and she makes money at it. Having tired of her table, with the change of the moon, T. T. sought to better himself by cbango of baso of gastronomical operations to Mrs. Nocook's. An interview with this iady convinced him that she is very different from his former landlady. A few meals at her table, however, satisfied him that she was no better than he had lately been accustomed to, and if anything not so neat. Mrs. N. goes to market, or sends buys tho highest priced meats and the choicest vegetables. Not being a practical housekeeper, she turns tho eatables over to a greasy cook—a veritable appotito demoralizer and taste organizer—who goes through a few motions more mysterious than neat, and there is good reason for thinking puts them all into the same oven or pot, when they are scrambled on the tablo, completely spoiled, and the boarders rung in for their allowance. Mrs. Nocook is a true sample of the other class of people who keep boarders but uulilco Mrs. Feedemcheap, she doesn't make money at it.

T. T. pitlos the latter as he despises the former lor she does the best sho can, and is eternally "ou nettles" for fear somo one will say something not flattering of her table. She cares more for the reputation of her table than for gentility. She is kind-hearted, honest and accommodating, yet receives the same blame as Mrs. F., who is a graspping, miserly old skinflint, whose god is money and she can't keep boarders so regular, because It is not generally understood that she keeps a genteel bouse. If Mrs. Feedemcheap bad a better heart, and Mrs. Nocook had a better cook then we should have better boarding-houses.

It must not be taken that these are the only sort of people who keep boardlng-honses. No indeed. There are many glorious exceptions to this class of landladies—but they are exceptions, not the rule—who are good cooks themselves, and are never chided by their consciences when meal time comes. But they never get rich at the business. T. T. always thinks of these sort of landladies, whon fortunate enough to find them, that whether they get up especially good dinners or go to church on Sunday, they will sometime find their way across tho river Jordan, there to live forever upon tho milk and honey and fruit and green things from the Garden of Eden, while their cotemporaries of the Feedemcl^pap stamp will bo frittering and frying away over brimstone fires until they aro tortured into tho crispness of their oarthly beefsteaks.

T. T. made another change last week and Is now comfortably settled. Of the poor boarding-bouseshesays "Peace to their Hashea/'^^^^^^^^

Husks and Nubbins.

ol'ft LANOUAOB.

We havo seen that the first language consisted or monosyllabic root* and that these were of two kinds, namely, those of a demonstrative, or pointingout character, and those combining the qualities of verbs and adjective*. From these first formativo elements was gradually evolved a polysyllabic system of speech, by a union of tho two classes of roots. For example, to the verbal root, trid, seeing, was Joined a pronominal root, mi,

*it

ture by

f», I, thou, he

and the compound 1'id-mi, fid-si, vid-ti, signified I see, tbbu seest, he sees. A aim liar synthetic procoas joined two pronominal elements together and the resulting compounds were matt (I, thou, that is, we) (bo. thou, that is, ye) etc.

Thus simple wa* the beginning of a linguistic evolution which continued In similar manner to build up a system of polysyllable* from a union of primitive monosyllabic forms. Then followed the expansion of verbal root* by prefixes, reduplications and increment*. Addition after addition, modification after modification, wa* made, until a system of verbal conjugation wa* reached more cumbersome and comprehensive even than that of the Greek. In a language destitute of connective*, ftuxilliaries and particles, the natural tendency was to elaborate out of a single root, by such mean* a* wo have noted, a complex synthetical polysyllable, equivalent in moaning to a phrase consisting of several detached word*. Students of the ancient language* are familiar with tkta conjugation*! system which boUt up a complex verbal strut?-

me*n* of augment*, reduplica­

tion*. person and tease reding*, increment* and vowel changes, so confusing to the learner and yet

*0

regular and

systematic In It* formation. For example, take the Greek verb which begins with tee, I loose, and runs through the long gamut of changes from

tnctha eimen. While the verbal idea of action was thus being evolved, the notion of abstract quality was gradually conceived and separated from it. Thus com* me need the genesis of noons. New words were formed from the verbal root* which were used to denote kind or quality, in the abstract, as controdiattnguished from the same entity in a state of action. Here then were the formativo elements of anew structural system. As the verbal root was modified in various ways to express different conditions of the idoa, so on the noun roots was built up a system of declension to express the different conditions and relations in which they might be found. These were inflectional endings, or changes in the terminating syllable, to denote the distinctions of person, gonder and case. This elaborate system of noon declonsion is found nearly perfect in the Latin and Greek tongues. In the former language, from a single root vox (voice)are formed, by means of case-endings, the words, vocis, voci, vocem, voce, voccs, vocum, voeibus, and somo nouns undergo oven more changes than this. In the modern languages the introduction of prepositions has almost wholly dope away with this inflectional system. The English has saved only one of these case distinctions in nouns, that of the old genitive, which appears in our possessive case aud in pronouns, the old accusative which answers to our objective, as, me, us, whojn, etc. So much for the verb and noun which constituted the bone and sinew of grammatical structure.

Adverbs, it appears, were at first only certain cases of nouns, principally the ablative. Thus in French the adverb bonnemtnt, "kindly," grew out of the Latin bonamcnte, "with a kind intent." The significance of tho two forms is the same and they could bo used interchangeably indeed it appears that every adverbial idea is susceptible of being translated into a phrase consisting of a noun and preposition or, what was equivalent in the older languages, a noun with the proper case ending.

Conjunctives, or connectives, wore an after-thought in the process of lan-guage-making. The first speech was of too simple and sententious a character to need their aid. Each expression was doubtless complete in itself and detached from that which proceeded or followed it. By and by, as the constructive propensity of the race developed a moro complex and involved method cf expression, it was found convenient to join independent sentences together, by this means avoiding an unpleasant repetition of certain parts of speech and abreviating the formula of expression. It is questionable, however, whether much of modern composition would not be improved, in point both of perspicuity and elegance, by tlie banishment of illegitimate connectives and consequent expansion of dependent clauses.

The interjection, as It was probably among the first born of the part* of speech, has continuod in its primitive simplicity down to the present time. It is, in fact, but ft sort of linguistic parasite which, however indispensable to tho needs of speech, can, for all grammatical considerations, be cut from the sentence without in any manner marring the structure of the same. They have indeed, in many cases, come to possess the significance of a whole phrase or sentence alas /, from tnc lasso, "oil weary me 1," sound* "I swear by God's wounds," etc.

The adjective was doubtless at first only an extension of the signification of the noun, s* Indeed many nouns are still used *djectively without *ny change of form, *s a gold ring, a silver spoon, etc.

How loug a time wa* required for the evolution of all these elements of speech, it is impossible to tell, though unquestionably the period was of vast extent. The growth of language is slow. We see In our own age how difficult It is to break over any

TERRE-HAUTE, SATURDAY EVENING, AUGUST 9, 1873.

establish­

ed custom or usage, bow hard to correct error* *nd ln*ocuracle* of speech even when they are admitted to be such. We have no reason to believe that the genesis of language wa* different in this respect in the earliest sgos. Says Prof. Whitney, in his admirable work on the Study of lMngnag«: ••There most have been a period of tome duration—and,for aught we know, it may have been of very long duration —when the first speaker* of our language talked together in their *o*nty dialect of formless monosyllables. The first forwut, developed word* containing formal as well as a radical element, etnnot have come into existence otherwise than by slow degree*, worked out by the unconscious exercise of that ingenuity lo the adaptation of moans to end*, of thai sense for symmetry, for finished, even artistic, production, whieh have ever been qualities especially characterizing our division of the human race. Every form thu* elaborated led the way to ether*: it helped to determine a tendency, to establish an

J..'

production. Word* and forma were multiplied until even a maximum of synthetic complexity offollnessof inflective wealth, bad been reached, from which there has been in later times, upon the whole, a gradual descent and impoverishment." jt

Thus, it seems, language "had its origin and growth. It will appear hereafter whether all the various and widely divergent systems of speech now extant in the globe bad probably one common origin, or were the production of differentraces occupying farseparated portions of the world

People and Things.,

4"

$

Still passes from poll unto poll: .. The brick-maker, blood-thirsty elf, "M To kiln's been addicted of old: The weather-cock makers are vain

Of the vanes they expose to the blast The bellows man ne'er will refrain From "blowing" his wares to the last A lawyer's existence Is brief

A' printer against vice should be proof A bnllder will sure come to grief Who commences to build nt the roof The miller makes millions from mills

In all trades can money be made, But newspapers suffer from bills Which seldom or never are paid. The Shah scratches his head with the corner of a salt-collar.

Photographing groups at the seaside is enriching tho artists of the camera. Barnum is at Saratoga, while his greatest show on earth" is revolving around.

A man in Galesburg, 111., has b66n fined $3 for "publicly spanking his daughter."

Somebody says there are no Baptists in Newfoundland, and suggests that the water is too cold. '"V. 7

There is nothing so effective infringing ainan up to the scratch as a healthy, high-spirited flea.

Cottage life among the Southern families at White Sulphur Springs is very simple and pleasant.

Capt. Robbins, of Stamford, Ct., has been engaged as navigator for the Wise trans-atlantic balloon voyage, in case the party shoold have to take to water.

Heated streetdlscosslon—"1 don't believe in Spiritoalisra. I think this: If a man goes to hell he can't come back here if he goes to heaven he don't want to."—[Cin. Times.

A commercial drummer attempted to commit suicide in St. Louis recently by holding a pistol against his face and firing. His cheek was too much for the ball, which fell to the floor flattened.

If a man who has got to the top of the hill by honesty Is ashamed to turn about and look at the lowly road he has traveled, ho dosorvosto betaken by the back of tho neck and hurled to the bottom again.

The Rev Harding's latest newspaper experiment in Indianapolis appears to have resulted profitably. It is possible that the Rev. Harding will some day cease to allay the cutaneous Irritation of a poor man.—[Louisville CourierJournal,

A report of a camp meeting sermon says: "Just at thin point he stopped speaking a few moments, wiped his forehead, turned back his wristbands, ran his finger* through his hair, spit and rubbed his boot in it, drank a little water, commenced c.n a lower key, and proceeded as follows."

A correspondent of the Sandusky Register, writing from Kelly's Island, gays: "When I see clergymen and ladies of respectability at watering plaaes, who have left all their decency at home, drinking and carooalng after *11 honest folks shoold be In bed, I wish snd hope, if I have to live here, that there will never be accommodations for a fashionable resort."

Judge William H. Cooley, killed by R. Barnwell Rhett, Jr., in the late New Orleans doel, was considered one of the best story-tollers in Louisiana and he exercised his talent to a wide circle of admiring friends. On his way to the fatal ground, the morning of the meeting, be kept those with him in the railway train in continual roars of laughter—a merry preamble, Indeed, to a shocking tragedy.

The New York Wortd, in an article on the extravagance of the times, says: The difficulty abont this and so many other matter* in thi* free country 1* that we all want to be equal nowaday*, although we are dreadfully unequal id purse. *Wh«n I dine with a man with 90,000 a year,' said millionaire, 'he gives me juat the same dinner as when I dine with ons who has #60,000 year, though how be manage* it I don't know.'"

Quite different from the style at Voe de L'Eau is the surf bathing at Beaufort. Tbey have no squeamish "Lacy" there to cry the alarm at the approach of breeches. On the contrary, the men take partner* for surf bathing aa for a dano*. A handsome young fellow plant* himself in the water and opens his arm* as the breaker is coming. A young lady tie* to hi* clasp and there remains safe until all danger i* over. The widows are sai. to cling so tight it is Impossible to dvuk them.—[Richmond Enquirer. id Enquire!

I®!®

Feminitems.

At a picnic with the girls, Ely a reedy brook that purls, My hair in horror curls, When In the bushes I hear something rustie!

Quick! save youmlves!a snake 1"

In a church's solemn aisle, Walking softly through a file Of dames who blandly smile, As I step confused along, one I jostle

Then, stammering red, I say: Excuse me, madam, pray. Tis my awkward, clumsy way." "You're excused, sir, nothing's wrong— 'twas ray bustle!" ^Slippered neat and cosily,

Of an evening after tea, *-"^lAll ihe papers on my knee "through the flies for The Mall I hustle

A,

A carpenter's duty la plane: I A cobbler for food sells his sole jt£l A barber who's ne'er crossed the main

Search again—all in vain! tSays my wife, "Don't be profane!"43 .?» Where is The Mall I explain, Says she, with her smiles seraphic, "in my bustle!"

Milwaukee ladies get up at 4 o'clock in the morning and go a fishing. Oregon equestriennes are said to

DO

addicted to saddley masculine habits. It is said that more women are arrested in San Franciseo than in any other city in the Union.

Anna Dickinsou is actually studying for the stage, under direction of Fanny Morant, tho well-known actress

Miss Neilson, the pretty English actress, is the best woman swimmer that ever tried the surf at Long Braucb.

A lady writer says that the present is the ago of sonslble dress for women. What will they wear when tho foolish age comes round again.

An ignorant old lady waa asked by a minister visiting her if she had religion. She replied: "I have slight touches of it occasionally."

Mrs. Rebecca Lancy, af Cambridge, Mass., has become hopelessly insane from excitement consequent upon her forced attendance In court as a witness in a murder trial.

That female lawyer in Chicago startledtho country by pleading one case and winning it, and now she has lost four cases in accession. She don't seem to be a success.

The club-handled parasols are vindicating their usefulness. A young lady recently, at Morristown, "laid out" savage dog with one of these airy trifles in tbo most effectual manner

A Dos Moines merchant offered Mrs. Barrett a pair of shoes if she would kiss him, and she went out, borrowed a revolver, and lodged a bullet in his nose. He hasn't any more shoes to give away.

A certain Flora McFllmsey bathed at Narragansett a dav or two ago, in a suit of blue silk trimmed profusely with white laco. The sensation sho created must have been anything but flattering.

At tho Caledonian club games in Scranton, Pa., tbo feature of the day was a fat women's race for a now bonnot. Tbo leanest contestant weighed 180 pounds. Three othci weighed 200, 242 and 251 pounds.

Since Miss Maggie Elphlcb, tho Connecticut oysterman's daughter, palled yeung Sims out of the bay at Greenwich, she has received a dozen offers of marriage, and the Connecticut girls aro now asking, "Mother, may I go out to swim?" S'

A Milwaukee woman wno had only fifty cents, hesitated a moment whether to take a dog out of the pound or get some medicine for a sick child, but when she saw the jovial gambols of the dog she wondered why she hesitated so long as she did.^

Sarah DeCamp was laughfif ifad giggling in church at Grand Banks, Nob., when the preacher said, "The devil has his oyes on Sarah DeCamp." The next day Sarah DeCamp's body was hauled from the river, her sensitive nature having impelled her to suicide.

The story thst Harriet Fenimore Cooper, daughter of Fenimore Cooper, the novelist, is writing a history of the Oneida Indians is entirely true, with two slight exceptions. No such history is being written, and there is no such person as Harriet Fenimore Cooper, and there nevsr was.

How many women return from church feeling as Mrs. Jenkins did when she remsrked that "when she saw tife shawls of those Smiths, and then thought of the things her own poor girls had to wear, if It wasn't for the oonsolstion of religion she did not know what she shoold do."

Urace Greenwood says: "The fact is, there are too many of us women. And there seems no relief for coming generations except through the heroic remedy of quietly putting *11 female Infants out of the way. Nothing could be so good for us except a long snd glorious succession of Herods."

A Saratoga correspondent writes: "A few person*, I can not call them ladles, wear their hair parted on one tkjte and brought low on tbo forehead in the renter. The effect is disgusting, snd few persons could stand the remarks audibly made and the marked atar*s of all beholders ss do tbo few who have adopted this strange fashion. a

Price Five Cents.

Connubialities,

Lucy alone at the window '"s Softly and cosily rocks, Busily plying the needle, tng her husband's nr*lr«.

Darning her husband's socks ovine and sweet little woman, Fondly of each housewifery care, No queen in her royal palace

5

I snout in tones that wake Wild echoes through the brake. Says a nymph, as she blushes, "O dear! is£ I 'twas my bustle!"

With Lucy in wealtli can compare. White the floor of the kitchen, 80ft sings the kettle for ten, And out in tho bright summer garden

Children are sporting in glee. Down In the clover clad meadows Loud rings the blithe mower's steel, Musical sounds of dear home lite

As sweet, artless Lucy can feel. Skillfully plying the needle Over and under the yarn. Filling sad rents with a patience,^.

Known to tboseonly whodarn, Lucy hems in 1th or stitches Thoughts bright with love as a gem, Happy toiling for Richard, le dearest and noblest of men. Swift, and more swift flies the needle, v*

The meshes are filled one bv one At last the holes are all mended, Tho week's task of mending is done. But will Dick—ah, the dear careless fellow!

Know when Ills wife sings and rocks She fastens her heart In the stitches W She weaves in his old, worn-out socks.)

A circuit court—Tho longest way home from the singing school. Cleveland grants moro marriage licenses Monday than on any other day. ,'i

A Savannah man stoals his wife's false teeth when he wauts to keep hor from "gadding

A precept of tho Hindoo law says "Strike not, eveu witii a biussuiii, a wife, though she be guilty of a hundred faults."

A lady wanted aer impecunious husband to give her some money to buy bed-ticking, and ho told her to go where she could get the tick.

An Ohio minister who had his choice between marrying a writer for the magazines and a girl who could bake bread, wisely chose the latter.

1

Two business partners in Cincinnati liked each other's wives so well that they both divorced and remarried, and now livo as happily as can be.

An Iowa farmer locked up bis daughter's clothing so that sho coold not elope, but she put ou one of bis suits and slipped out and was married

When a Philadelphia husband comeB home late bis wife makes him say, "Claxton, ltemsen A Haffelfinger," which is a book publishing firm In that city.

The dying words of a Delaware woman were: "Henry, if you marry again remember it only takes a cupful of sugar to sweeten a quart of gooseberries."

Thirty-three widows belong to one sowing society In Watertown, N. Y., and the sound of a pair of boots going by the house where they meet is enough to stop all tho maclfincB and neodlOB.

A lonely fellow advertisos in a Chicago paper for a wifo, and intimates that he prefers a poor girl. Tho Louisville Courier-Journal tells him to take tho first one who responds, and he will be almost certain to get a poor ono.

A Cincinnati young man who had road in his city papers that Cleveland girls always replied "you bet," when tendered an offer of marriage, tried the experiment with one of them, and the only reply he got was "you get!"

Dio Lewis convulsed a Utica audience last Tuesday night, by somo advice ho gave to married men. Ho was talking about the eye. To the nnfortunato benedict* he said: "Gaso into your wife's eyo closely, and you will see yoorself looking exceedingly small."

A young woman of Fond do Lac, Wisconsin, played her lover a game of chess the other dsy to decide whether the wedding shoold be fixed for this year or the next. If she won it was to be postponed, bot though she is the stronger player, she lost by a glaring oversight.

The following may serve as a usoful bint to husbands whose wives have extravagant tastes An experienced busbund in Lafayette sent two switches home to his wife, from which sho was to make a selection, but before doing so he changed the tags, potting tbo |25 one on tbo $10 switch, and vice versa. After a critical examination by herself and lady friends, tbo choice fell upon that labeled $25, and she decided to keep it, notwithstanding her husband's plaintive protest that ha ooold not afford to pay out more than |10 for such so srticle.

tj

An Enoch Arden appeared in Connecticut the other day. As soon as he mad* himself known the latest husband walked up to him, shook his band cordially, and *a!d: "I'm mighty* glad you've got back old fellow. Wo thought you were dead. But I resiga the lovely partner of your youthful love without a murmur. Take her to your arms again and be happy witb her." "No you don't," said Enoch. "I wouldn't have come back If I hadn't beard that the old gal was dead, I wouldn't be the man to interfere with, your connubial happiness. I'm off* for where I came from." And ho went away, leaving a disconsolate Philip R*y In that town. 9?? 3^4 wm-1- art"*-