Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 3, Number 50, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 14 June 1873 — Page 1

Vol. 3.—No. 50.

THE MAIL.

Office, 3 South 5th Street.

Town-Talk.

THE PRESS.

Since tho production by T.ie Mill an

editorial,

long, learned and heavy,

on "Tone a3 an Element of the Power of the Press," which probably nobody but T. T. ever read through, T. T. has been listening to the talk of the town, in crier to learn what is the "tone" of Terre Haute press. lie has not found it »o difficult a task an he expected.

It

tt true that—(T. T, quotes from the edl torial alluded to)—"each of the three excellent dallies"—whew 1 and Tbe Mail baa a "tone" clear and easily re cognized. T. T. has bad more difficulty in distinguishing and defining the tone of

TUB MAIL

Than any other. It WHS a long time before he could fully settle the question whether this difficulty arose lrom the fact that Tha Mall was an exception to the rule, and had no tone, or because it was so mixed. He is not quite certain yet, but is strongly Inclined to think that the proper designation of the tone of The Mail, is mixed. In fuct a more thorough hodge-podge in paperdom than The Mall seldom has been seen on this mundane sphere. [The editor of The Mail refused to publish that sentence —said everybody took the paper, and he tried to please everybody. lie was compolled, though, to permit the truth to be told, by T. T's threat not to write another article for him. Knowing tliat that would kill his paper "deader than a door nail," he consented. T. must tell the truth or burst.] Botwoen "Husks and Nubbins," who is orthodox and infidel in religion by turns, and has turns pretty often, and Mm. John Snulth—(by the way what has become of her since It was an nounoed that she would write regularly for Tho Mall? Anothor case of "mysterious disappearance ?")—who is a woman suffragist, and said most all women were, only they lied about It, and the editorials which"are not worth mentioning," and tho comet, shooting star or an infant a span long, called "Philosopher," and tho "Femlnitems," "ConnubiallUes," etc., is it any wonder T' T. found it difficult to name tbe tone of The Mall? Now, gentle reader, do not be deceived. The editor-in-chief of tho CJaxotto did not write that long winded sentence, T. T. did it all alone after long asid constant reading of the Uazotte and many efforts. But, as T. T. was saying, the tone of The Mail is mixed, m4 the only reason why a majority of the readers may doubt t"hls is bocauso bhey only, read the column of Town Talk. Just as tho skin is thrown away, when tho orange Is sucked dry, or only eaten by foolish children, so Tho Mall is laid by after Town Talk has boon road, exeept by a few simple ones who try to digest the rest of it. The cholera season approaches and T. T. affect Innately bogs that no more rash experiments of this kind bo made T. T. gives a healthy tone to the paper, but cannot promlso during the hot weather to counteract the mixture contained in the other columns. But as mention has been made of

TJKK OAXKTTH,

Let this come next in order. The tone of tho evening star Is without doubt intensely Intellectual. If it ever dies It will be of brain fever. Both its editorial and local columns aro fi»lrly running over with brains. This Is tbe case daily, and yet the supply only seems to Increase. Its style is of the highly Intellectual order. It reminds ouoofChoate, who is said to have tittered single sentenoes which occupied a half hour in delivery. The Gasette frequently has entire articles of a single sentence, and tbe sentence does not seem to b« completed then, but to be choked off, lost tbe artlcU should be too long. As a sample of one of tbe shortest sontences to be found, take the following from tbetarae of Jane 5th

The gentle read ox will observe tiat this is the expression of an universal truth, upon the broad expanse of the placid surface of whiok such little discussion as whether physicians or Commissioners are most given to obtussnesa, In the matter of their own incompetence, float "like Isght barges safe raoorw on the boson of toe ocean."

This was the entire article, headed by two lines of poetry. Bat if passible, the iocs! department exhibits greater intellectual power than tbeedltorlol. In the announcementso( marriages and doaths there Is a combination of intellectual vigor, and beauty of diction, which it is difficult to equal, and which never has been surpassed. There is a touch of beauty and pathos In this clause taken from an obituary notice: "where ho was married to the mourning widow of the present.** And then that was a most happy use of language in which wsa snnounoed that Smith was married to the late Miss Brown. To some minds this might suggest that In the one csss man married his own "mourning wid-Ot^'V-of course be didn't—and In the

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TUB EXPRESS.

The political tono of the Express is one of lofty independence. Though Republican paper, sometimes called an "organ," it is not partisan in any sense of the term. It is always ready, candidly to admit the faults of its own candidates and tho virtues of its oppo nonts—after olection is over. It is death on any "ring" which does not include at least one of its editors, or the party friends of one or tho other. Of course, tbe presence of either is a guarantee of perfect honesty. It has forreted out dishonest officials, commissioners, printer and physician, all of whom are Democrats. There cannot be a doubt that they would have been even more zealous had these same officials been elected by their influence and ballots. In fact there ia little doubt that these conscientious editors have wept scalding tears because an inscru table Providence haa decreed that all dishonest officials in this county were of tho opposite party. On this account not only wore they prevented from any share in the spoils, but their independence of party wsa brought nnder suspicion, for people would think, and do falsly think that their great coal for honesty In office comes from the fact thst they are out iu the cold. So high are those men above party or party influence that neither! of them would on any account accept an office If freely given. Ono has made almost herculesn efforts to keep out of tbe Mayor's chair, even begging his colored friends not to •ote for him. He succeeded sdmirsbly. The other only waits for the assembling of Congress to lay down an office which grateful administration thrust upon him. Hence the Independent political tone of tho Express hence the denunciation of all political and official dishonesty, even If it Is in tbe opposite party. For a deeply religious tone —almost a doable bam—for a purs tone —almost prudery—for an Independent political tone, the Express Is tbe paper par exixiimet of Terre Haute. At last

THK JOCRNAt,

Demands sttsnlion. This has not been placed last on the list because in, any sense least among the papers. It is well known that tbe Intelligence of its editors and tbe enterprise manifested in securing tbe latest news from all parts of tbe world, snd the besuty of Its typographical dress have given tbe Journal, both In respect to patronage and influence, tbe leading position among the city papers. It ismostfortunstc tbat the tone of tbe paper so extensively circulated and of such commanding, almost universal Influence, hi such as is possessed by tbe Journal. Its tone may be said to be sweetly kind and squarely orthodox. It has all tins religion of tbe Express snd all the intellectual power of tbe Gssette, but these era so overshadowed by Its

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other case that Smith was so anxious for wedded llfo as to marry a dead woman—of course he was not—"the late Miss And then the other day in announcing the marriage of Mr. B. and Mi*s T., It was added of the bride, that "many warm friends unite in wishing her a lsug, a prosperous, and a happy maritnl life." This master intellect, bv one bold dash of his pen, takes a word which heretofore has relatod only to the husband, and makes it apply to tbe wife as well. But samples multiply. Intellect and learning shine brightly In every column of tho Gazette, and the doubt is whether the editorials outshine the locals or the locals outshine tho editorials. In reference to

It may be said that its tone ia pure religious and independent. Of course a paper edited by men so thoroughly determined to keep the Sabbath themselves, and so anxious that all the employes of their establishment, from the devil down—(the devil stays in the upper story)—should attend church and Sunday school, that they were not only willing to brave the opposition of the entire community, and makes great pecuniary sacrifices in order to avoid Sunday work, could but have a deeply religious tone. (Another sentence a la tbe Gazette.) At groat expense also it employed clergymen, ono, moro or less, probably loss, to write for its Sunday issue. (By the by again, he too, has disappeared as mysteriously as Mrs. John Smith of The Mail. Is it an elopement?) But the marked characteristic jf the tone of the Express is Its purity. If any family in town is without a good family paper and wants one that can bo read without harm by boy or girl, man or woman, saiut or sinner, married or single, before subscribing for*ind other it would be well to examine as a specimen copy, tho Express of last Saturday, tho issue that had the Dr. Stone business There is not a sentenco in it that need offend the most fastidious. It could be taken np and read aloud in tho family clrclo or in any mixed company without onco causing a quaver in the voice or blush upon the cheek. Lovers could read it to their sweethearts. It was fit to bo plaeed in all our Sunday schools, and could without offense be distributed at tho "moral circus." And this copy was no purer than in its tone than any other.

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sweot, kind spirit, and by its intense orthodoxy, that they do not appear. Even in dealing with such an incorrigible sinuer as T. T. tho Journrl never loses its temper—and if not with T. T. then never—but speaks of his faults so gently and with so much of loving grief in it* language that time and again T. T. haa been upon the vory point of going to the Journal office and confessing his eins, and asking for an interest in the prayers of the editor. T. T. was affected in this way during tbe present week. Ilow could he help it when ho read in the Journal the following:

The anonymous sctundrel who writes the T. T. articles for The Mall talks about "Kings" in connection with the Dr. Stone matter. Why doesn't the T. :i\ scamp and coward tell tbe people what persons In this community compose that "Ring?''

None but a heart of stone could withstand such kindness and sweetness of temper. Evidently this is said more in sorrow than in anger. T.T. is surprised at tho hardness of bis own heart, when he romombers how frequently ho has had similar language applied to him by the Journal. The same sweet temper, almost too sweet to continue long on earth, almost ripe and mellow for the other world has been manifested towards tho Express since it charged the Journal with swindling the county, and was so outrageously mean as to prove it. Only the other day, having occasion to speak of tho editor of the Express, it spoke sweetly of "iiitu and the other prostitutes engaged in the Dr. Stono affair." And it added in the sweetest of all tempers, "wo are too orthodox to have any other than a feeling of charity for such lost lambs." So it is soon that the Journal is conscious of its orthodoxy. This is its stong hold. How boldly, and with what overmastering logic it came to the front during that long continued controversy concerning Darwinianism. How toucbiuglv did it speak of itself and the others "who believe and have hopes." And only this last week has it called one of tbe most prominent clergymen to task for calling the Bible account of creation "a story." And when a dictionary was thrown at the editor in reply, with what exalted orthodoxy did he put the bible before the dictionary. He never would look in the dictionary to find the yeaning of language applied to the bible. "We are too orthodox for that." lie had been taken across the maternal knee too often in early years for telling "a sto ry" to have any doubt as to its meaning. He knew that Moses never told a story." And he would not tolerate the slightest intimation of such a thing, not even from the pulpit. The other defences of the orthodox faith may be broken down in this city, but so long as the Journal lives, orthodoxy will have a powerful exponent and ally. No monkey ancestor wanted here. "We are too orthodox for that." No "story" told in the bible, not even the "old, old story," "We are too orthodox for thst." Sweetness of temper and square orthodoxy give tone, rather they are personified in the Journal.

Husks and Nubbins.

XLVIII.

SCIENCE AND TBE CHURCH. Inquirer snd Mr. Howe have been inquiring in the columns of the Express how the church stands in regard to science. Mr. Howe thinks the ministry is the right bower of tbe scientific trump. (Of course be would not express it so, being minister and will probably not know what the expression means, but some of his friends can explain it to him—the young gen tleman who blacks his boots, for Instsnce.) Inquirer, on the other hand, thinks the churoh is rsther a low card in the game. We should like to reoon die tbeee two exoellent people, If we could it is so delightful to bsve a hand in making op difficulties—only second to making two young people who really hate each other, believe tbey are in love.

Of course the first step Is to sty tbst both are wrong. This never foils to haves soothing effect. To tell Inquirer that he la wrong, would make bis blood boll. But to say that be snd bis reverend opponent are both a little out of the way, la bound to bring an Incredulous smile to bis face. Thst Is tbe grand secret of settling quarrels. Admit that you sre just ss oad ss I am and yon may tell me I'm as bad as tbe old Nick himself, with perfect Impunity, so much does the little first person, tcf, differ from tbe little second person, yon,

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TERRE-HAUTE, SATURDAY EVENING, JUNE 14, 1873. Price Five Cents.

llevlng that he Is a true friend of Science and that he rejoices in evory stop of progress it makes. Inquirer is willing to admit this, but fails to fiud many ministers of tbe same sort. Inquirer believes that the tendency of the Church, taken RS a whole, is opposed to science. Perhaps this is not true to-day, but it was true a hall dozen years ago. A very marked change has taken place within the church in that short time. It is a common thing now to hear sermons in favor of science, but which easily reconcile the developments of the latter with the true interpretation of the Bible a few years ago the sermons on this subject were uniformly in opposition to tho later discoveries of scientific men. The change has been wrought by a few able and liberal-minded men, who could see something beyond thoir creed and who were eager to

Seize truth where ere it could be found, On Christian or on heathen ground." These men began preaching a new dispensation. They were ready to receive everything that Science could satisfactorily demonstrate, no matter how much at variance with preconceived ideas. This done they set about inquiring whether the newly-discover-ed facts could not be reasonably reconciled with tho old record.

It thus happons that the church of today is little, if any, in the way of Science. There are some earnest, independent ministers who are in active sympathy with scientific progress and and are ready to do all in their power to aid it. There are many feeble, timid and conservative spirits, who live in a poor passiveism, not greatly concerned one way or the other, and waiting to catch their cue from the idolized spirits they worship. But there are a few, I am sorry to say, who are indissolubly wedded to the old-time incredulity and opposition and go on in the good old way of thrusting the Bible into the face of every new discovery of science with an infinite and absurd dogmatism which says: "There, that sottles it!"

There is such a minister living iu Terre-Haute, a gentleman, too, of profound study and moro than ordinary culture. But his faith holds his reason under its thumb. Sometime ago he lectured on the subject of Darwinism and completely squelched the theory of the eminent savant by such a line of argument as the following:

Tho Bible states emphatically that man was created from tho dust of tho ground Darwin says that he was developed from a germ. Therefore, Darwin's theory is foolish. It is evident from the Bible that man's creation was completed at a single act Darwin says that he was millions of years in coming to his present state of perfection. Therefore Darwin is not worth listening to. The Bible tells of a fall and consequent deterioration of the race this theory holds that there has been a constant progression. Therefore etc.

In such summary wise this minister settles the question of man's creation, resting satisfied in his blind faith and not caring so much as to ask whether he understands "Moses and the prophets," or not. What should he do? Why, he should let tbe question alone until Darwinism has had time to prove itself. If it cannot do that it will not trouble him any way, for it will fall of itself. When it can do that it will be time for him to search the record and see whether he cannot read it another and better way. But tbe idea of abolishing Darwin in aAnttnee by simply stating that his theory does not agree witfa the Mosaic account! So they did long ago when Galllleo found that the sun did not rise and set. And if Galllleo had allowed himself to be abolished we mlgtat bsve been believing that tbe sun gets up out of tbe sea snd goes down into the ees, to this day. A oomfortable ides, thatl

It Is this element of tbe church which stands in tbe wsy of Science, but this element is fast becoming obsolete.

.People and Things.

Henry Ward Beecher bat* publicly announced bis belief in universal salvation.

An inflexible Brutus at Peoria, Illinois, hsd bis own son arrested snd caiabooesd for stealing ten cents' worth of tobacoo. if

Pieaas call rou or words to thst effect, wrote young Walworth to bis father tbe other day In New York. He was insane.

Well then you will Inquire bow both can be wrong. Easily enough. Mr. Howe Is a liberal-minded, progressive gentleman wbo doesn't think it necessary to wrap bis reason all up closely ins nspkln snd lay It away, simply because be happens to be a minister. Aod being liberal snd generous, be easily comes to beliere that tbe major- ed to stand up l« meeting and pray. My of bis fraternity ore gotten up after but that the princ j»il duty would be tbe same style. Nobody wbo knows! tomske up defldeii.-ies la tbe running anything about Mr. Howe can ip be-' expenses of tbe eboxch.

and be murdered,

Psrton will endeavor to pile "Our Scandalous Politics" upon tbe lecture platform. Of course bell not think of getting tbe whole theme under roof.

Theodore Tilton has sent bis photograph to Queen Victoria and asked for an exchange, niton has cbeek enough without appeslisg to Victoria tor more.

A Wail street broker, on being elected trustee in one of tbe New York city churches, accepted tbe position with tbe assurance that be was not expect-

In New Albany a man who is sober once or twice in two weeks is not considered a habitual drunkard. That decision saves one of the prominent judges down that way.

It is claimed that the Howe Sewing Machine originally costs but nine dollars. It is not one of the Seven Wonders that Ellas Howe became a rich man before he died.

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Joaquin Miller, speaking of his contemplated marriage, wrote to a friend that his future was all "sunlight." The Albany printer made it "sunburnt"—only the difference of a sylla-

A murderer was hung In Washington Friday of last week, the brother of tho myrdered man being a dissatisfied spectator. His dissatisfaction arose from the refusal of his petition to be the hangman.

A man who had his new bat exchanged for an old one in a barber's shop, advertises that unless it is returned he will forward to the wife of the person who took it tho letter found concealed in the lining of theold one.

Chicago jewelers sell country patrons a fine stem-winding watch for $1,60, with four jewels around each bole, and boles punched for more. They are hunting-case, hand-made, and only need good entrails to keep time.

The Telegraph is death on verbosity. At Texas they simmer it down thus A man in a certain neighborhood who bad lost a valuable mare, received per wire the following dispatch: "Mare here. Come get her. Thiofhung

We pity our descendants. A hundred years from now there will be no young ladies who strewed flowers before Washington no young men who saw him review the army and oh, dreadful thought' no colored woman who was once bis servant.

Tbe Louisville man who placed his nose to a turtle's mouth, to see if its breath smelt like onions is out again looking well, except that he carries a prodigious piece of court plaster as a frontispiece and a proboscis as useless as the fabric of a dream.

Florida manners.—"We suggest that our churches employ some ono to carry water to the thirsty congregation. It is very interesting to see one of the brethren during service go the pulpit, take the water pitcher placed there for the convenience of the minister, in bsth hands, fill his mouth to its utmost capacity with water, and then turn and squirt it upon tbe floor—[Live Oak Times.

A hop in your walk is a halt, but a dance upon nothing is a halter. A deal of gold may be a plum, but a dealer of lead is plumber. You may sometimes put sauce into a cup, but you should always put a cup into a saucer. You're a fool if you're a walker in a pond you're a philosopher if you ponder in your walk. A cough makes you wheezy in the chest, but of the chest you can easily make a coffer. A Bteel is what makes a blade sharp, but a blade that makes a sharper is a stealer.

Feminitems.

Those ladicf who are all sunshine take us by storm. A Massachusetts girl walked miles to attend a circus.

forty

Why is a lovely young lady like a hinge? Bocause she is something to a-dore.

A Cincinnati school-girl wears a call co dress with 9100 worth of trimming to show her less wealthy schoolmates thst she isn't proud.

Miss Nellie Thurston is engaged to make a balloon ascension this fell st tbe Antwerp (N. Y.) Union Agricultur al society's grounds.

A young lady speaking of one of her aversions said the severest thing en record: "He's almost a perfect brutehe only lacks instinct."

Tbe papers speak of a lady of Quincy wbo is a Spartan mother, if there ever was one. Sbe haa presented Mr. Spartan, at different times, sixteen pledges.

There Is a young girl In Brooklyn wbo for a long time has supposed herself to be dying of love, but a council of eminent physicians pronounce it to be dyspepsia. ***V^lN,

An "eastern clergyman" has been preaching a sermon on "old maids." This shows tbst all Biblical subjects bate been exhausted by sn "eastern clergyman."

Mrs. Lottie Palmer, a pretty widow wbo kept a photograph gsllery at Racine, Wisconsin, has been mobbed by a' battalion of jealous women, whose husbands bad too many pictures taken.

The News tells a wonderful story about a young lady who was thrown from her bone, "stood on her bead and waa Insensible for forty-eight hours." That was along time to stand on her bead, and tbe Intelligent compositor might bare bad mercy enough to use a comma In tbe proper place, and thus put a stop to tbst part of tbe sffkir.— [lad. Herald.

Some one calls "the »ce of American women indolent," whereupon one of them retorts, "I wonder if that man ever reflected upon the amount of shopping we'do, and tho willingness with which we do it?"

A young couple in Osage City, Missouri, eloped tho other day. Tho bride before leaving the tternal roof, interviewed her father's bureau drawer, and voted herself an incroase of back pay to the extont of f1,000.

The rage for expensive funerals is strong even in death. "Aro jou prepared for the great change?" asked a friend of a lady whose days wero numbered. "I am afraid not," said the dying woman sadly "the means for the occasion are insufficient."

A youth and a maiden were dancing the Landers. In tho course of the inane conversation which the dance necessitates, he took to questioning her as to her accomplishments. "Do you paint?" he asked. He wouders what on earth she got mad about 'While Leo Hudson was lying ill at St. Louis she called a favorite pet dog to her. It attempted to jump upon the bed, as usual, but fell back upon the floor and broke its neck. This, in connection with the death of her beautiful horse, "Black Bess," was believed by her to be an omen of fatality.

Sentimental young ladies can find warrant for a copious flow of tears in this from the Utlca Observer of rrcent date: "A sudden death occurred at Openheim, Fulton conuty, last night. Wlthiu the past year Johanna Davis, a step daughter of Solomon Cnirner, was engaged to be married to a tnan named Startwout, wbo married another woman during the winter. Miss Davis' grief at this disappointment caused serious mental and physical »miction. Last evening her mother and herself saw tho jilting lover and his wifo pass by the window. The sight seemed to affect Miss D.tvls, aud bor appoaranco attracted her mother's attention. The young lady, in responso to questions and fears, said: "Don't cry for me, mother I shall dlo to-night." At 10 o'clock P. M. tho girl was a corpse. Her death was caused by a broken heart.

Connubialities,

No postal cards" appoare.1 afior the announcement of a Monroe wedding. A cynio describes marriage HI an altar on which man lays his wallet and woman her affections.

A young husband calls his wifo "Birdie," bocause, ho says, sho is always associated in his mind with a bill.

A Detroit bridegroom was so affected by tho marriage ccrumony that be burst into a violent fit of noso-bleed-ing.

Rev. Olympia Brown, a Universalist clergyman, recently led to tho altar a blushing young gentleman of the namo of Willis.

Two curious »suicides have taken place at Paris, both occasioncd by the remorse of tho victims at having scolded their wives.

A Peoria man says that his wife's tongue wears out so many sets of false teeth that tbe dentist's bills have nearly broken him up.

A friend of ours Is in a dilemma he says bh fiancee objects to his being "loose," and yet threatens to discard him if sbe ever sees him "tight,"

A Cairo man warns people not to trust his wife, and she retorts by saying that he'll go without clothes all summer before she'll take in washing to rig bitu out again.

Russia insists on "civil marriage," and our hen-pecked only wishes be were a Russian, or that we bad a strongenough government to make marriage a little more civil here.

A Peoria girl, on her marriage, sold her piano and bought a sewing-ma-chine and material enough to make full suits for her husband and horseif4 snd straightway wont to work maklsg them up.

A Fort Wayne lady namod Lowsay wants a divorce from her husband on account of bissuggestiye family name. Tbe court rafuses to gr.*nt ht-r petition, and h«*r only relief from a life of misery ia a fine tooth comb.

A married man in Connecticut, wbo was told that a woman bad been made dumb by being bit with a snow-ball, promptly sold It appeared to him that tbe winter bad gone remarkably quickly.

Tbe audience at a Chicago theater were disposed to be hilarious, the other night, wben tbe wife of a man who had risen from his seat between acts snd started for tbe door, cried out, "Where are you going, John?" John was disgusted, but kept on.

A man wbo marrieti a widow has inrented a device to cure her of "eternally" praising ber former husband. Whenever sbe begins to decant on bis noble qualities, this ingenious No. 2 merely says: "Poor, dear man! how I wish be bad not died!" aud the lady immediately begins to think of something else to talk about.