Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 3, Number 32, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 8 February 1873 — Page 3

Wit and Humor.

If there is one habit in man more detestable than another, it is that of practical joking, and it is always pleasant to see the would-be jokist himself made the victim. In the following instance we folly approve of the mode adopted of

CARRYING OUT THE JOKB.

While we were lying in camp at RosSville, Georgia, writes a correspondent, the Sixtieth Illinois returned Irom their furlough with a number of recruits. One of these having exhausted his supply of clean shirts, and not having learned to be his own laundress, asked a veteran where he could get some washing done.

Do you see those tents there by the church? Well, go there, and asK for Mr, Morgan he does washing. He's a crusty old cuss, but if you talk pretty nice to him, he'll do it tor you.'

The recruit went as-directed, and found General Morgan walking in front of his tent, dressed, as was his custom, in the uniform of a high private. •Where will I find Mr. Morgan?' asked the recruit.

My name is Morgan. What will you have?'

came to see if I could get some clothes washed.' •H-m-m. Who sent you here to get your clothes washed?'

John Smith, over here in the Sixth.'

Corporal of the guard!' (The corporal approached ana saluted.) 'Young man, go with the corporarl, aBd show him John Smith, so that he can bring over here. And you come back with him, and bring all the dirty clothes you have.'

They departed, and soon returned with the guilty veteran and a huge armful of dirty shirts, socks, etc.

The general to Smith

Did you send this young man here to havo his clothes washed •Yes, sir, for a joke.' 'For a joke! Well, we'll have the joke carried out. We do have clothes washed here »ometimes. Corporal, take this man. -inith, and that bundle oi clothes down to the creek, and have him wash itiem, fold them up neatly, and return them to the owner. See that he does the job up handsomely."

The veteran went away to his work sorrowfully, and the general resumed his walk.

When a man undertakes to make any arrangement, particularly of his property, in opposition to the will of his wile, he generally finds that the cunning of the latter is more than equal to either his own resolution or his far-seeing powers. A telling proof of this fact has lately been reported from Now Orleans.

A CUNNING DEVICE.

I A farmer on the eve of 'pegging out,' said to his wife: My dear, I am going to die therefore wish to make my will. All my fortuno in this world is a horse and a dog. You will sell the horse and give the proceeds to iny relations. As to the dog you can keep him for yourself.'

And the old tnan died. Her mourning over, the widow wishing to oboy the last instructions of her dead husband, took the horse and dog to market and offered them for sale. She was offered two hundred dollars for the horse, but no one would buy the dog. 'I will not sell ono without the other,' said the woman, 'give me two hundred dollars for the dog and I will let you havo the horse for five dollars.'

The purchaser accepted, though he thought it a queer bargain. The next day, obeying her husband's instructions, she sent the five dollars, price of the horse, to her husband's relatives, and kept the two hundred, price of the dog, for herself.,

Wo would imagine that tho last sentenoo in the following narrative would soarcely be necessary, but merely insert it as a matter ol record. We think tho ep/7«-ample (original and patented) afforded sufficient caws for Buch a result

SHE WOULDN'T LAY.

An awkward country youth had been ad|udged at a party to make a 'crow's nest' with a blooming young widow who n\oved among the "fashionables She demurred when the kissing was to come In, dodging her head from side to side to avoid the lips of the youth, whoreupon the following conversation took place:

Conductor of the Game—"Why don't you muko the crow's nest, sir Youth—'We have.'

Conductor—'Then why don't you put the eggs in it Youth, shaking his head in a sorrowful manner—•That's it, sir. We made the nest, but the old crow won't lay.'

The widow was insulted. Lawyers are a very useful, and the sruno time a very badly treated class of men. Some people even go so far as to assert that there is no admittance for them to Heaven, and many attribute to that fact tho joy and happiness with which all our ideas of the place above are associated. Such at all events was tho opinion of an intelligent Irishman who rather confounded the ideas of a certain member of the press.

PAT ON LAWYERS.

Emeralder—'You're a lawyer, beent you?" (Reporter does not know what is coming, and thinks he'll say yes at a venture.)

Reporter—'Yes.' Emertfder—'Well, did you iver hear of lawyers (pronounced like bar) getlln'to Heaven? Come now, spake the truth and shame the divil.'

Reporter—'Well, I don't know as I ever did. Dkl you ever hear ot an Irish man getting there?'

Emeralder-—5Yes I heard of one once.' Reporter (briskly)—'How was that?' Emeralder—'Why. there was a fellow once who lived In Ireland. He was a noble kind-hearted man as ever you saw, and whon he died everybody had a good word to sav tor him," the pralst absolved him, and he went straight to hlvin, and

yeoj? I know by wnat nappeneu aner he got thero. When the people that live In hivin found that an Irishman was there it raised a fine rumpus, and thoy determined to pat him out. Jim Ilooanan, for that was his name, wouldn't go, he said, unless he was put out through the due course of law. So they went to work and searched all over hivln to find a lawyer, but there wasn't none there, and Jim is there yet.'

A LADY said to her laxy house-maid: "Now, Mary, you know I am going to giro a ball to-morrow night, and Iahall expect you to bestir yourself and make yourself generally useful." "Ye®, m'm but I'm sorry to say, m'm I can't danoe."

New Advertisements. Agents! ARareChance!

Wewillpaj who will

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Charlotte, Miota.

Agents Wanted for Banyan's

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Legal.

THE

STATE OF INDIANA, VIGOOOUNty. In the Vigo Circuit Court. James Stewart, D. G. Eschleman, E. H. Yundt, B. F. Eschleman, Executors last will and testament of Isaac C. Heister, deceased, and Wilson T. Moss vs. Theodore Fulfeerson, George Balding and the unknown heirs of John H. Watson, deceased. Petition to quit title. No. 3936. Be it known that on the 80th day of January, 1873, said Plaintifls filed and Affidavit in due form, showing that said Defendants are non-residents of the State of Indiana, and that the heirs of John H. Watson, deceased. are unknown to this affiant of plaintiffs herein.

Said non-iesident defendants are hereby riotlfied of the pendency or said action against them, and that the same will stand for trial at the Maroh Term of said Court in the year 1873.

Attest: MARTIN HOLLINGER,Clerk. BLAKE A BOUDINOT, Att'ysfor Pl'ffs.[febl-3t

riiHE STATE OF INDIANA, VIGOCOUNty, in the Vigo Circuit Court. Mary M. Jewett, Merlck A. Jewett vs. Jamss A.

Loyed. In Foreclosure. Be it known that on the 1st day of February, 1873, said Plaintiffs filed an Affidavit in due form, shewing that said James A. Loyed Is a non-resident of the State of Indluna. 8ald non-resident defendant is hereby notified of the pendency of said action again&t him, and that the same will stand for trial at the March Term of said Court in the year 1873.

*11

MARTIN HOLLINGER, Clerk.

C. E. HOSFORD, p. p. lebl-3t

1HE STATE OF INDIANA.VIGO COUNty, In the Vigo Circuit

Court,

Mary M.

Jewett, Merrick A. Jewett, vs. Charles A Frew. In foreclosure. Be it known, that on the 1st day of February, 1873, said Plaintiffs filed an Affidavit indue form showing that said Charles A. Frew is a non-resident of the State of Indiana. Said non-resident defendant is hereby notified of the pendeney of said action against him, and that the same will stand for trial at the March Term of said Court, In the year 1873.

MARTIN HOLLINGEB, Clerk.

C. E. HOSFORD, p. p.

I^HESTATEVigoINDIANA,VIGOCOUN-

ty, in the Circuit Court. William H. alentine, Abram Eaton and Major C. Craft vs. Andrew Walker, David E. Chandler and John H. King, In Civil Aotlon. No. 3,734. Be it known that on the 24th day of January, 1873, Bald Plaintiffs filed an Affidavit in due form, showing that said Andrew Walker and John li. King are non-resi-dents of the State of Indiana.

Said non resident defendants are hereby notified of the pendenccy of said action against them, and that the same will stand for trial at the March Term of said Court In the year 1873.

IH.

Said non-resluent defendants are hereby notified of tho pendency of said action against them, and that the saiue will stand tor trial at the Match term ol said Court lu the year 1878.

Janl$-4t Admr. of John Mllner's Estate.

ADMINISTRATOR'S SALE.

I will offfer at Public Auction at the late residence of James Ed. Ryman,deceased, In Honey Creek township, on Tuesday, February 18th, 1873, the oersonal property belonging to tne estate of said decedent, consisting of horses, cattle, hogs, corn, wheat, hay, farming utensils, household lurnlture, Ac. Sale to commence at 10 o'clock. Terms—all sums under S3, cash tS and over, nine months credit, purchasers giving note with interest and approved security.

1 4*

MARTIN HOLLINGER, Clerk.

HBNDRICII A WILLIAMS, p. p. Jan25-3t

^HE STATE OF INDIANA, VIGOCOUNty. In the Vigo Circuit Court. James Turner, Toulssant C. Buntin vs. Oliver Bannd, Edwin Gartrell and Indiana Gartrell, In Attachment. No. 8,924. Beit known thaton the 23d day of January 1873, said Plaintiff filed nn Affidavit in due form,showing that said Edwin Gartrell and Indiana Gartrell are nou-residents of the State of Indiana.

MARTIN HOLLINGER, Clerk.

HEXDRICII A WILLIAMS, p. p. Jan25-3t.

ADMINISTRATOR'S SALE.

On the 22nd day of February, 1873, at the Court House door, in Vigo county, at two o'clock p.m., I will offer for sale lot No. eight, (8) of Mllner'a subdivision of the north westquarter of section No. twenty-six. (26) town 12, north range, nine west, said lot contains five acres. Terms of sale onethird In hand, one-third in six months and one-third In twelve months from the day of sale. Purchaser giving note with freehold security together with mortgage on the property waiving valuation and appraisement with interest from date.

M. M. H1CKCOX,

JOHN WK1R. Adm'r., James Ed. Ryman's Estate.

SCOTT A Dtrr, Att'ys. febi-3u

DMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE.

county, In the State of Indiana, deceased. The estate Is probably solvent. JO. B. CHEADLE,

Jan35-St Adm'r.

OTICE OP APPOINTMENT.

The undersigned has been appointed Administrator or the estate of James Edward Ryman, late of Vigo county, Indiana, deceased. Bald estate Is supposed to be solvent. JOHN WEIR,

SCOTT A BUY. Att'ys. febl-*

TERRE-HAUTE SATURDAY EVENING MAIL. FEBRUARY 8, 1873.

Simmons & Clongh Organ Co's

5* 1

IMPROVED

on. 1C O O :C 0

iii

IHtflUnmnrnmik. unuii

FITTED WITH THE NEWLY INVENTED

SCRIBNER'S PATENT QUALIFYING TUBES,

An invention having a most important bearing^bn the future reputation of Reed Instruments, by means of which the quantity or Volume of tone is very largely increased, and the quality of tone rendered

Equal to that of the Best Pipe Organs of the Same Capacity.

TO BE HAD FOB THE NEXT THIRTY DAlgj

I AM OFFERING MY ENTIRE STOCK OF

Glassware, China, Queensware,

Table Cutlery, Lamps, etc.,

AT ASTONISHING LOW FIGURES FOR THE NEXT THIRTY DAYS. TO MAKE ROOM FOR MV IMPORTATION ORDEBS, WHICH WILL RE IN SOON.

it,«

Watchmaker & Optician.

GIVES SPECIAL ATTENTION TO MAKIKG AND REPAIRING FIHE WATCHES FOR OTHER WATCHMAKERS.

THE OXLY OPTICIAN IX TERRE-HAIJTE.

MAKES SPECTACLES TO SUIT AL.L EYES—OLD PEBBLES RE-GROUND AND

RE^CASED—MANUFACTURES SOLID JEWELRY.

McKENZ IEDtNSMOOR,M.D.

TREATS ALL

Acnte and Chronic Diseases,

According to the most approved methods.

Catarrh, Bronchitis, Asthama, Concha. Hoarseness,

174 Main street, Fire Doors East of Sixth street,

Sore Throat,

Specially- treated by an ISHALATT, which. In most oases, will afford Immediate relief and in connection with other mild remedies. effect a speedy core. ..

Ofllee asd Resilience :-North tide of Eagle street, between 6th and 7th, Terreiiaute, Ind.

Orrics IIOTTBS:—From 8 to 10 a. m., and from 3 to 9 p. m. P. a-Dr. D. has on hand a fnll line of HOMEOPATHIC MSDICICTH, and can accommodate all who mar desire to procure Cases of Remedies and Books for Domestic or Traveling purposes, at any time, or on short notice. dJB-u.

Terre-Haute Bank,

MO. 144

MAIM

Our celebrated "Vox^Ceieste," "Louis Patent," "Vox Humana ^Wilcox Patent" "Octave Coupler," the charming "Cello" or "Clarionet" Stops, and

ALL THE LATE IMPROVEMENTS

Us*

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Thirly-five Different Styles, For the Parlor and the Clmrch, The Best Material and Workmanship.

Quality and Volume of tone Unequalled.

Prices $50 to $500,

FACTORY A WABEROOHS, COB. 0th A CONGRESSSTS., DETROIT, MICH. n.• vj inj&'f -_ '1

(Established in 1860.)

AG ENTSJWANTED IN EVERY COUNTY.

Address Simmons & Clongh Organ Co., Detroit, Michigan.

Great Bargains!!

,(4

I'**

THEO. STAHL,

15 Sonth Fourth St., Terre-Haute, Ind.

CAL. THOMAS,

TERRE-HAUTE, INDIANA.

^TITTIG&CO.,

Wholesale Dealers and

Commission merchants

NOTIONS,

Fancy Goods,

WHITE GOODS

HOSIERY, CIGARS, CUTLERY

FARLY

STREET,

TJI7Y8 and Sells Exchange, makes Oolleelions and tranaots a General Banking Boslnesa. Accoants solicited.

laaMf.

& MAOILL,

Oashlw.

SPOOL-COTTON, Ac.,

148 Main Street bet. 5th and 6th,

Jant-tf TERRE-HAUTE, IND.

& ROACH,

KAXXrrACTUUB8 or

Saddles and Harness,

Dealer$ in (hilars, Whips, Trunks, NO. 8B MAIN STREET, North side, between 3rd and 4th, TerrsElaato, Indiana. Agent* lor Uncle Sam* OarnessOlL 50-ly

VINEGAR BITTERS ••nirtmM'iiBBiira

No Person CAM take these Rltters according to directions, and remain long unwell, provided their bones are not destroyed by mineral poison or other means, and vital organs wasted beyond the point of repaid

Dyspepsia or Indlgeiliou, Headache, Pain In the Shoulders, Coughs, Tightness of the Chest, Dizziness, Sour Eructations of the Stomach, Bad Taste in the Mouth, Bilious Attacks, Palpitation of the Heart, Inflammation of the Lungs, Pain in the regions of the Kidneys, and a hundred other painml symptoms, are the offsprings of Dyspepsia. One bottle will prove a better guarantee of its merits than a lengthy advertisement.

For FcmnleComplaints, in young or old, married or single, at the dawn of womanhood, or the turn of life, these Tonic Bitters display so decided an influence that improvement is soon perceptible.

For Inflammatory and Chronic Rheumatism and Qout, Bilious, Remittent and Intermittent Fevers, Diseases of the Blood, Liver, Kidneys and Bladder, these Bitters have no eqnal. Such Diseases are caused by Vitiated Blood.

They area gentle Purgative as well as a Tonic, possessing the merit of acting as a powerful agent In relieving Congestion or Inflammation of the Liver and Visceral Organs, and in Bilious Diseases.

For Skin Diseases, Eruptions, Tetter, Salt Rheum, Blotches, Spots, Pimples, Pustules, Bolls, Carbuncles, Ring-worms, Scald-Head, Sore Eyes, Erysipelas, Itch, Scurfs, Dlscoloratlons of the Skin, Humors and Diseases of the Skin of whatever name or nature, are literally dug up and carried out of the system in a short time by the use of these Bitters.

Grateftil Thousands proclaim VINKOAK BITTERS the most wonderful Invigorant that ever sustained the sinking system.

It. H. ncDONAJLO CO.

Druggists and Gen. Agts., Saa Francisco, Cal., A cor. of Washington and Charlton eta., N.Y. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS A DEALERS..

IHE OLD ESTABLISHED

IBON WORKS,

TERRE-HAUTE, IND.

Owing to Its Increase of business In the past year, and flattering prospects for vet [reater in the future, have been compelled enlarge upon its already capacious facilities for doing business enabling It, thereby, to do

ITS WORK CHEAPER AND WITH GREATER DESPATCH,

In additon also it has established in conneoUon with It, a first-class

Boiler and Sheet Iron Works,

of sufficient capacity to accommodate all who are pleased to give their patronage. None but first-class workmen in either department. I respectfully Invite the public to call and examine my •annffecture of Stationary 4k Portable EuisM,§sw A Flonring Mills, and Coal Shaft Machinery, supply of which I keep constantly on hand, of the most approved Patterns. Also Cora Shelters, Cane Mllls,Shln sle Machines, both Hand St row* er. Ball's Celebrated Steel Dot* torn R. R. Scraper, also Cast

A Wrought Iron Scrapers,

For farm nse. Alse a great variety of School Seats and Desks, which for beauty and durability cannot be excelled.

Together with castings of all descriptions for general use in this country, all of which I warrant to be as good as the best, both in material and workmanship, and as cheap as the cheapest, quality taken into consideration. (ee-tf) J. A. PARKER

rriHE BEST ROUTEl4 EAST AND WEST.

IJfDZAMAPOUS. €IM€I?r!f ATI AND LAFAYETTE

BAIL BO AD.

Cincinnati and Eastern Divisions.

Four Passenger trains leave the Union Depot, Indianapolis, daily for Cincinnati, Chill lcothe, Marietta, Washington, ano Circleville, Ohio Pans, Nichohuvllle, Kentucky. Also for Parkersbnrg, Baltimore, Washington City, Philadelphia and New York.

By this route East a ticket can be purchased at the Union Depot to New York at the same price as by any other route, on which the holder can pass through or stop ever at all the above named Eastern cities.

Lshyette, Qnlne^r and Chicago Dl»

Three through Trains leave the Union epot dally, for Lafayette, Chicago, Springeld, Qulncy, St. Joseph, Kansas City and Omaha without change of cars.

Time and distance less and fare as low as by any other route, to all the principal towns and cities in the West and Northwest.

Baggage checked through to all principal olnU, and sleeping cars on all night trains, oth East and west.

For further information and tickets, aply to the Ticket Agent In the Union Depot O. L. BARRINOER,

Master ol Transportation.

C. K. LORD, Chief Ticket Clerk. 84-tf.

TSAAC BALL,

UNDERTAKER,

Aai Embalmer of the Dead,

Is prepared to execute all orders In his line with neatness and dispatch, corner of Third and Cherry streets, Terre-Haute. W-tl

AMES R. BAKER,

Attorney and Coamelor at Law. jtnevtUe, Parke Of., Indk Will make col lections, and attend to all kinds of Legal Business In Parke A Vigo Co.

RarsBBsrcBs:—Allen A Mack, Terreftante. Wm. Patrick, Terre-Haute. James EL Mahan, J. P., Roseville, Ind. mld-Iy.

AT RIPPETOE'S,

1S5 Main St.

You will always find THE BEST Stiffart, Coffee*, Teas, Ham, Breakfast Bacon, Wleur, Cam Meal, Spices, English Pickles, Table Sauces, Flavoring Extracts, Best Syrup and Molasses,Crackers* Canned uoods, Sardines, Corn Starch, Baking Powder, Malzone, Soap, Candles, Silver Gloss Starch, Salt, Wood ana Willow Wares Stone Ware, Coal Oil, Ac., fec.

Goods delivered to any part of the dty| ee-6m.

3000

GET THE BEST.

Webster's Unabridged Dictionary.,

10,000

Ti ords and Meaningn not in ether Dictionaries.

8000 Engravings

1840 Paces Qnarto. Price §13. TX/lion ever I wish to obtain exact deflni-

,~f

tlous, I consult it. Ocliuyler Colfax.l«: "C* very Scholar knows Its value. [W. H. Prescott, the Historian.]

Been[John

one of my dally companions. L. Motley, the Historian, Ac.] Qo far as I know, best defining Dictionary.

Remarkable

Horace Mann.]

rphe best guide of students of our LanA gaage. John G. Whittler.] T^xcels all others in defining scientific terms. [President Hitchcock.]

compendium of human

knowledge. [W.S. Clark, Pres't Ag. Col. A necessity tor every Intelligent family,

student, tescher and professional man What Library Is complete without the best English Dictionary. Also

WIBSTER'S

National Pictorial Dictionary.

1040 Pages Octavo. •OO Engravings. Price |B. The work is really a gem of a Dictionary, Just the thing for the million.—[American Educational Monthly.

Published by O. A C. MERRIAM, Springfield, Mass. Sold by all Booksellers.

A Repository of Fashion.Pleasure,.5*

and Instruction." Harper's Bazar.

Notice* 0/ the Prets.

The Bazar Is edited with a contribution ot tact and talent that we Beldom find In any Journal and the Journal Itself Is the organ of the great world of fashion.—Boston Traveller.

The Bazar commends Itself to every member of the household—to the children ly droll and pretty pictures, to the young ladles by its fashion-plates in endless variety, to the provident matron by Its patterns for the children's clothes, to paterfamilias by Its tasteful designs for embroidered slippers* and luxurious dressing-gowns. But tho reading matter of the Bazar is uniformly at great excellence. The paDer has acqulredof wide popularity for the fireside enjoyment It affords.—iV. Y. Evening Post.

SUBSCRIPTIONS.—1873. Terms: HAKPBIR'S BAZAR, one year ^-1 00. An Extra Copy of either the Magazine, Weekly, or Bazar will be supplied gratis for every Club of Five Subscribers atJl.OO each, in one remittance or, Six Copies for $20.00, without extra copy.

Subscriptions to Harper's Magazine, Weekly, and Bazar, to one address tor ono year, $10.00 or, two of Harper's Periodicals,!^ to one address for one year, $7.00.

Back Numbers can be supplied at any time. The five volumes of Harper's Bnznr, for the years 1868, '60, 71, 72, elegantly bound in green morocco cloth, will be sent by ex-,, press, freight prepaid, for $7.00 each.

The postage on Harper's Bazar Is 20 cents. a year, which must be paid at the subscriber's postofflce.

Address HARPER & BROS., New York.

"ATWOOD'Sf

Quinine Tonic BITTERS.

The best Tonic and Stomachic ever offered the public.

W$eraons

It will Improve your Appetite* Facilitate Digestion, give tone to the Nervous System, Vigor to every Organ of the Body, thereby imparting Health and Strength. There Is no remedy tp good tor Languor and Deblllly, whether general or following acute disease. The Medical Faculty In

dorse it, for Dyspepsia, Jaundice, Nervool Debility, and all diseases arising from a Disordered Liver or Stomach, Constipation, Flatulence, Rash of Blood to the Head, Loss of Appetite, Nausea, Heartburn, FWness in the Stomach, Sinking or Flattening at the Pit of the Stomach, Dimness Of Vision, Yellowness of tho Eyes and Pain In Head, Side, Back, or Chest, all which indicate a derangement of the Liver er

lllSigta or visiting sections where Ma

laria. Fever and Ague, Bilious Fever, &c.. are tho a£ractortUo diseases, should be provided wfth them. They are a sure preventive for all ailments arising from malarious causes.

It is a preparation of

QUININE,

one of the best Remedial Agents which the science of Chemistry has placed at tho disposal of the physician, combined with other valuable vegetable tonics, delicately flavored with Choice Aromatic# to please the palate.

fold by all Srngglstfc $1 per Bottle. PBSPABED BT LITTLEFIELD, HURO & CO/,

BOSTON, MASS.

For sale byGULlCKABERRY, Terre Hauta

FRED,

GEIGER,

LOCKSMITH,

BelMunfer 4 dtencU Cotter, Locks and tranks repaired, keys fitted, iron safes opened and repaired, speaking tubes put op, etc. Bells, fixtures and key* of all kinds kept on hand. North th St Basement Room in Cooks new building wiyti of the golden key ee-8m

•i" si* v'} ai ,, .v

:'v4