Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 3, Number 13, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 28 September 1872 — Page 4

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THE FORTUNE TELLER.

Jk fortune-teller passed one day A school where pretty misses Owned learned books, ate candy sweet,

And dreamed of love and kisses.

Bald she to one, a pretty girl, My lovely, blue-eyed maiden, Jtolet me fill the fortune true

With which for you I'm laden. «B*e fctrl said "Yesand as she drew

Some

money from her pocket.

There fell unnoticed down her dress A open golden locket.

The Gypsy saw It as It fell. And noted well the features gure we all know the tfypsies are

Hacli very awful creatures.

Th^n she began the tale to tell, Tl»e fortune she unfolded, Erewbile the pattern of his face 't m*e by the picture moulded.

His auburn curl* and hazel eyes, And form so tall and slender, Of loving heart, of courage brave—

Bueh is the good defender. ,• «Hc loves you true, will ne'er prove false, Kacli d-«y love more than ever And, if he leaves thl* vlllajre given yorget you he will never."

"••Who he? and what Is his name KJIOW you by this good token O'er mxider bridge, across the brook,

Ho Vuiueth. I nave spoken."

Cw maiden turned and snw him come Her laugh grew loud an«t clean r, Ah o-'er Hie brook and 'ero-«H the ticld

Iler destined fate grew nearer. Gypsy," said she, "whene'er you tell Another tale no fnnn\, .s He sure before you tell il that

VJU get vour well-earned money.

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Var sure I am tins time you may Uo try to fool another," And why 1" HkeU she. Replied the girl,

You've lold meof my brother."

Martha Phillips.

She WMS dead. An old woman with silvery h*ir, brushed smoothly away from her wrinkled forehead, and snowy replied under lwr ciiin a and, quiet face a paient mouth. with lines about it that lold of sorrow borne with gentle firmness and two withered, tired hands crossed with a restless look. Tout \v«i» ail.

WTio, looking at the sleeping form, would think ol love and romance, of a heart only just healed of a wound received long, long year* ago

Fifty years she had lived under that roof, a farmer's wite. Il you look on that little pl.ito on lior coffin lid you will se "Aged 70'' there, and fho was only twenty when John Phillips-, brought, her homo a bride.

A half eentuiy she had kept her careful watch over dairy and larder, had made butter and cheese and looked after the innumerable duties that (all to the share ol a farmer's wile. And John had never pone with hultonless shirts or undarned soeks had not come borne to an untidy house and scolding wile. XIis trim, tidy Martha had been pride and though not a demonstrative husband, he had boasted sometimes of the model housewife who kept Lis home in order.

But underneath her quiet exterior thero was a story thai John never dreamed of, and would have believed it hnposs-iblo had ho been told. She did not marry lor love. When slio was nineteen, a rosy, happy j»irl, a stranger «uioo on a visit to their villago, and that Summer was the briuhtest and Happiest she ever knew. Paul Gardner was the stranger^ name ho was an artist, and fell in love with the simple village girl and won her heart and when ho went away in the autumn they •were botrothed. "I'll como ng.iin in the spring," he said. "Trust me, and wait for me, Mattin, dear.

She promised to love nnd wait (or hun till the end oft ime, if need be and with a kiss on her quivering lips he went away.

Mattio Gray did not tell her father and mother ol her love, for they had no likimr lor London folks, and had treatin! Paul nono too hospitably when he huff ventured Inside their home.

Hpring-timo eame. and true to his word, Paul returned he stayed only a day two this time. "I am going away in a few weeks to Italy to study," lie said. "1 shall bo gone two years, nnd then I shall eotne andt'Laim you lor my bride."

TTirv renewed their vows and parted with tears and tender loving words ho put a tiny ring upon her linger and «ut a little curly tress from her brown hair and telling her to always bo true and wait for hi in. lie went away.

The months went by, and Mattie was trying to make the time seem short by studying to improve herself so that she •sight bo worthy of her lover when ho should como back to make her his wife. "It must bo about the time ho is to start," she said to herself, one day.

Amd by-and-by, as she glanced over ft newspaper, her "evos wore attracted by his Mime, and with white lips and dilated eyes, she rend of his marriage to Knot he r. "Married Taken another bride, instead of coming back to marry me! (MI, Paul! Paul! I loved and trusted you for this!"

Nho covered her face with her hands and wept bitterly. An hour afterward, as nhe sat there in the twilight, with •he fatal newspaper Ij'ing in her lap, aho hoard a step on the crave) walk sit# tooking up, she saw John Phillips {•mniff tip the steps. He had been to her olten befbte, but hAd nover yet spoken of love, and bad of course rewired no encouragement to do so. lie van a plain, hard-working farmer, with *xw romsneo about him, but matter-of-taei to the oore. His wife would get twr carcases or tender words. He would kind enough—give her plenty to eat MM) wear.

How he seemed to have come for the express purpose of asking her to be his wile for ho took a chair and seated himself beside her, nnd. after the usual greeting, reserving scarcely a moment lr» take breath, began, in his businesslike war, to converse. There was no ronfesslon of love, no pleading, no hand-clasping, no tender glances he *iiaply wanted her would she be bis wi/eT His manner was hearty enough Ihfrf was no doubt he really wanted her—-would rather marry her than any •ther woman bo know but that watt all.

Iler Hps moved to tell him she did «»ot loyp blm but as she let fall her #yrs fron«t he crimson-hearted rose that swung from the vine over tbo window. g«be caught sight of those few lines

"^Married she said to herself. "What can I do? He doesn't ask metoi store him. If I inarry him I can be a true wife to him, and nobody will know thai Paul has jilted me."

The decision was made. Her checks' wejreasbv psle as sho looked up straight, o*tg ht» eves and tutawerod quietly:, "Ye*, I will bo your wife."

Her parents* were pleased that sb* waa chosen by so well-to-do a young' man so it was all. settled, ana ther' wtre married the same summer. Peo 1* though: six- snN-rtd down wonderfully mm-o uj i.-.u,nothingwassai! that dd I--d any one to suppes

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ivaj tuu. UIUJ WY* »*»»M»I

that any change had taken place. Yes, she had sobered down. She dared not think of Panl. There was no hope ahead. Life was a time to be filled with something so that she tnlght not think of herself. John was always kind, but she got so wearied of bis talk of stock and crops, and said to herself: "I must work harder, plan and fuss and bustle about as other women do, so that I may forget and grow like John."

Two veara went swiftly by. A baby slept in the cradle and Martha—nobody called her Mattie but Panl—sat rocking with her foot as she knitted a blue woolen stocking for the baby's father. There was a knock at the halfopen door. "I have got into the wrong road will yon be kind enough to direct me the nearest way to the village?" said a voice, and a stranger stepped in.

She rose to give him the required direction, but stopped short, while be came quickly forward. "Paul!" "Mattie!"

His face lighted up. and he reached out his arms to draw uer io him. With jf surprised, pained look shedrewback. "Mr. Gardner, this is a most unexpected mooting." "Mr. Gardner!" he repeated "Mattie, what do yon mean "Don't calf me Mattie, if you please," she replied with dignity. "My name Phillips." "Phillips!" he echoed. "Are you married?" "These are strange words from you, Paul Gardner did yon think I was waiting all this time for another woman's husband?—that I was keeping my faith with one who played false so soon "Played yon false! I have not. I am come as I promised you. The two years are but just passed, and I am here to claim yon. Why do you greet me thus? Are you indeed "married, Mattie Gray?"

She was trembling like an aspen leaf. For an answer.she pointed to the cradle. He camo and stood before her with white face and folded arms. "Tell me why you did this! Didn't you love tno well enough to wait for me?"

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She w'eiit and unlocked a drawer and took out a newspaper. Unfolding it and finding the place, she pointed to it with her finger, and he read his marriage notice, "What of this?" ho asVed, as he met her questioning, reproachful look. "Oh, Mattie, you thought it meant me. It is my cousin. I am not married, nor in love with any one but you." "Are you tellingthe truth ?"sbe asked. in an eager, husky voice.

And then, as he replied "It is true," she gave a low moan and sank down into a chair. "Oh, Paul, forgive me! I didn't know you had a cousin by the same name. I ought not to have doubted you, but 'twas there in black and white —and this man, my husband, came, and I married him

With bitter tears, she told him how all happened. With clenched hands, he walked to and fro, then stopped beside the cradle and bent over the sleepingchild. Lower he bent, till his lips touched its wee forehead, while he murmured to himself, "Mattie's baby."

Then ho turned, and kneeling before her, said in a low voice, "I forgive you, Mattie bo as happy as you can." He took both her hands in his and looked steadily, lovingly into her face. His lips twitched convulsively as ho rose to his feet. "I have no light here—you are another man's wife. Good-bye-God bless you!"

Pie turned as he went out of the door and saw her standing there in the middle of the room, with arms outstretched. He went back, and putting his arms around her, pressed one kiss to her cheek, then left the house, never looking back.

And she went down on fier knees beside her sleeping baby and prayed for strength to bear her great trial. They never saw one another again.

Seventy years old! Her stalwart sons and "bright-eyed daughters remember her as a loving, devoted mother, her grey-headed husband as a most faithful wife. "Never was a woman more patient and kind, and as good a housewife as ever was," he said, as he brushed the back of his old brown hand across his eyes while looking down on the peaceful face.

Arid not one of them ever knew of the weary heart and broken hope that had died in her breast, nor ever dreamed of the sad load she had borne through life.

GET A HOME AND KEEP IT. A large proportion of the American people are restless, roving, scattering, driven about from placo to place by every spring freshet of popular excitement. Their desire for quick gains and tlieir perpetual motion wears them out prematurely. They build houses for lifetime residences, and are ready to sell out their newly built homestead a week after it is finished—for perhaps less than it cost—and off they go, perpetually swinging around the circle of chronic change. To the pleasures of homo and neighborhood attachment, to repose of feeling and content of mind, and love of objeot^ around them, they are strangers. The fruition of trees thev plant they rarely witness. Of all their posesslons, thet have nothing home-like to gladden tnelr hearts. The gardens they lay out, the furniture they buy, and the houses they build, afford no home-loving memories. After wearing out half a life time in perpetual change of habitation, with little gain and great loss, they see in their past career nothing but failure! Habits wayward, the purpose cowed, their energies baffled and disappointed, they surrender to fate, and accept in moody despair their abject situation and often, with conscience seared and morals wrecked, without friends or home, they settle down too late, and die among strangers. A good home, and the queen of the homestead, a good wife, are essential to the happiness of every man, and nothing wilt as surely attach children to parents and to home virtues as a life-long homestead, the memories of which grow in delight with every increasing year.

SOMKTHIXO THK BOYS WIL1, LlKB.—A curious invention has just been patented for cutting wood without a saw. A galvanic currency of sufficient quantity, when passed over fino platinnm wire, raises its temperature to a white beat. The inventor discovered that wood, a comparatively dry substance, even when green could be cut in the same way. By arranging the wire with handles or other means, so as to guide it readily, trees, logs, or planks may be cui as ttsslred. There is hero, therefore, a simple and easily applied force, which may be employed to fell trees, divide them into logs,'and perform all tho operations of the saw and ax. The -urfaco of the wood is slightly charred, but tho black layer is very thin. Tho iltcry employed need only be of tho simplest character.

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UAMINO THE BABY

Mrs. F. A. Moore, in her book, "A Lost Life," published by O. W. Carleton of New York, gives us the following chapter on the advent of a baby into the house:

A child to a wedded pair is either a bond or a barrier between them. Happily it is usually a bond. To Eleanor ana Austin Wavne it was a barrier. They regarded the little waif stranded upon the shore of life at their feet with as different eyes as if one were looking upon it from Heaven the other from Hades. To one it was a poor,helpless, loveable mite, very sweet and blessed to the heart so sadly disappointed in its own grand dream of love. To the other it was a troublesome, unimportant girl-baby, who created vast expense and had no business to be anything but a boy.

A boy, to be named Austin Wayne, Jr., and to be brought up after his own correct ideal—this bad been Austin's great expectation. And here was the little good-for-nothing, the perfect image of her mother—and inheriting all her mother's foibles, no doubt— come to scatter bis plan to the four winds! It wa» a disappointment which even his philosophy could hardly soothe.

At least ho would make ber reception prosaic enough. He had no rhapsodies to pronounce. He had no thrills in his heart over the mere fact ot his being a father. He would regard the bttby in the strongest practical light. He would see, from the very first, she should have no flummery about her. To this effect he announced next morn ing, as nurse was warming the young lady's feet, and Eleanor was eagerly watching her from among her pillows, that she should be called "Mehit able." "Law! don't hamper the child with a name like that!" Irankly exclaimed Mrs. Griffin •'I have selected another name!" said Eleanor, with that sweet calmness so irritating to natures like Mr. Wayne's. This opposition but gave new zest to his admiration for the name ot Mehitable. He was seized with sudden affection and reverence for a long dead aunt—passed into those realms where I trust such ugly names are forgiven and forgotten—and Mehitable had been the name of that unfortunate relative.

After a brief discussion, ending in a silence on Eleanor's side, that might or might not have been acquiescence, the name was considered settled upon the little voyager for life. "You caucall her Hittie, you know. Hittie is not such a bad name," said the nurse, consolingly, after Mr. Wayne had gone out, and the sun-light seem ed to come back again.

I wished to call her Genie, for the doctor's wife but it makes no great difference. She is the same baby, you know, whatever the name may be,"— turning a fond glance upon the little Mehitable, who continued to rub her rose-red feet together and square off at the air witb her microscopic fists in superb indifference to these personalities regarding her.

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And I am sure I wish to have Mr, Wayne pleased," Eleanor added, bravely trying to hide away this new bitterness from the nurse.

Mrs. Griffin gave a snort of disdain which she instantly turned to a chuck ling caress for the babv, and said with jocular asperity that she should like to see her husband undertake to name a baby ot hers igainst her inclination! Who, pray tell, did a baby belong to, body and soul, if not to the moUier? the mother who had dreamed night and day of it.—and then not to be allowed to name it! Goodness, why didn't Mrs. Wayne stand up for her rights?

Why, since baby is all mine, I can afford to let the name be Mr. Wayne's," Eleanor answered.

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ought to be

enerous enough for that," with a little augb Here tho baby received more caresses between which nurse muttered she had always believed there was such a thing as boing too good, and that she would just like to hear of a baby named Mehitable Griffin.

ABOUT BEARS.

The provisions of nature are strange. Climate forces upon animals different habits. Towards the end of December the female white bear braces herself in a position where the snow will drift over ber. Lying still upon a rock, the snow falls thickly upon her, and a cell is formed for winter habitation. In this cell the animal resides during the period of accouchment. The cubs are produced, and the mother remains secluded with them until the month ol March. The young are very small at first, but as they grow the heat ot their bodies melts the snow and thus enlarges the cell. The warm breath ascends upward, and makes an aperture for the admission of pure air. Before hibernating the bear eats enormously of nutritious food, and becomes very fat, on which fat she exists ^during her winter retiremont. Tho phenomenon is all the more singular, as the female bear is compelled to give sustenance to her young as well as to live herself, and the surplus fat in her own body is her only store of food. Pertinent to this Dr. Wood remarks:

,4It

is worthy of notice

that in the bears of the Ola as well as the New World is found the curious n,' a hard con-

retain ing the animal in condition. In Scandinavia, where the bears of both sexes retire to winter quarters, and remain in their hidden recesses for five full months, the tappen is very seldom cast until the animal leaves its den. In the rare instances where such an event has happened, the bear is said to have become miserably thin and weak." The snow packs closely and makes a warm bed. The caloric exhaled from the body is not swept awav by the wind, but is conserved arouna tho animal, and sensation is preserved.—[Turf, Field and Farm.

IN every quarter of the globe where it is known, and there are few indeed where it is not, the Mexican Mustang Liniment takes precedence of all similar preparations. Its transcendant merits have obtained for it a popularity seldom reached by any proprietary medicine. In its infancy the fiat of its suecess was pronounced in the widespread endorsement which it received from physicians, veterinary surgsons, horsemen and the public generally. No one now thinks of questioning its claim to be considered the Standard Liniment of America, -wf rv

An attendant at Mount Vernon not long ago observed a lady weeping most bitterly, ber handkerchief to her eyes. Going up to her, be said: "Are you in tiouble, madam "No, sir," she sobbed.

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saw you weeping."

Sketches of Men.

STEALING JOHN VAN BURENS THUNDER. The author of "Desultory Sketch es,' in the September Oalaxy, tells the following story of John Van Buren

In the campaign of 1856 he took an active part in support of Mr. Buchannan, the"great moral question" having ceased to interest him. I accompanied bim on an electioneering tour througb a part of Ohio, and in some of the Southern counties. He had prepared a strong political speech, and, as reporting in those days was net as general or

Eor

erfect as it is now, the intellectual laof the expedition was not exhausting. He was to speak in a town on the Western Reserve, and as considerable preparation had been made to get a largo number of people together the services of several local oratorer bad been engaged, but, of course, Mr. Van Buren's speech was expected to be the principal feature of the entertainment. Unfortunately, John was taken ill the night before, and although be was able to take a seat on tbo platform, he was too much indisposed to address tho audience. In this exigency Van Buren insisted that I should make a speech. I had previously spoken briefly, when there was adearth of competent oratora. but speech making was not in ray line. Still, as he was so pressing,! concluded to make an effort. As it was an unusual occasion, the reporters were present in lorce. I had heard Van Buren's speech so often that I knew every word of it, anecdotes and all and to requite bis ill offices in getting me into the scrape, I determined to mako bis speech. He saw the ti ick I was practicing upon bim before I had uttered three sentences, and he began to swear and scold at me in an undertone with so much vehemence and affected indignation as to horrify several pious -old Democrats who were on the platform with us. "Curse your impudence!" he exclaimed, solto voce, "who the devil expected you would take the words out of my mouth?" I proceeded, not paying not the slightest attention to his objurations, and he quieted down after a while. But when I recited one of bis most piquant anecdotes, which he never told without a general burst of applause, and which was received with the most uproarious manifestations ol delight, he broke out again: "The meanest thing ever done. You might just as well pick my pocket. Catch me taking you along as a foil again. I'd rather have a dummy for a companion. You shall have my hat and clothes when the meeting breaks up." By this time the gentlemen on the platform saw through the thing, and evidently enjoyed the joke and speech a great deai more than John did.

ANECDOTE OF DANIEL WEBSTER. Here is one of the "Old Stager's" stories in Harper's:

Evening sessions were sometimes held as the pressure of business be came more urgent and sometimes dis order and confusion prevailed, as was always the case in the House on similar occasions. In the Senate, however, it took the shape of exuberant festivity and fun. Grave and aged Senators be came jocose and comical, and sometimes the mirth grew fast and furious, the proceedings more resembling a town meetingor a farce than the orderly conduct of a deliberative assembly. I remember one night in particular. It was near the close of the session, and the Senate was engaged in the reading of bills preparatory to their final passage. Col. King was in the chair, a solemn and dignified presiding officer, but with no sense of the ludicrous, or any idea of a joke. The Secretary of the Senate, Ashbury Dickens, was reading bills rapidly by their titles, and business was going on finely. Half of the Senators were asleep with their heads on their desks. The presiding officer had a formula of words which ne never varied: "Senators in the affirmative say aye negative no. The ayes have it Not a voice would be heard, aye or no. and Dickens went on with his reading. For nearly an hour nothing was heard in the chamber but the monotonous reading of the Secretary, and the President putting the vote and announcing the result. At length Mr. Webster, who had been sound nsleep for a long time, lifted up his head and gazed about the chamber with a puzzled look and when Col. King said "negative no," he cried out "No-o-o!" in a prolonged sound, and with a sepulchral voice. The President looked steadily at him, as if doubting the evidence of his own sense, and exclaimed, "The ayes evidently have it." "Let them take it, and go along with it then," said Mr. Webster, and droppine his head upon his desk, was soon fast asleep again.

EDOARA.rOE.

A writer in the Missouri Republican,' in an article concerning Poe, says: The neatness bt the man was displayed in his manuscript. He wrote with ink on strips of letter paper about four inches wide, and his completed copy was always carefully rolled up. His penmanship was delicate and elaborate, each letter clearly formed, each punctuation mark in its proper place, and no blots or erasures sullied the

He had a habit of crooning, as the cotch call it, fragments of verse. This one, from Dongfellow, was a favorite:

The day is done, and darkness Falls from the wings of Night, As a feather wafted downward

From an eagle in his flight. He was also especially fond of the lines in the fourth canto of Tennyson's Princess, commencing: Tears, Idle tears, I know not what they mean,

He thought

When unto dying eyes

The tenement slowly grows a glimmering squareone of the finest expression in the whole range of poetry. The memoirs of Poe say that, believing himself foreordained to everlasting wretchedness, he never offered a prayer in bis own bohalf, but on wild and stormy nights would walk the silent streets praying for his friends—the dead as well as the living. He seldom smiled, and in his later years, at least, was never known to laugh.

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44Ah,"

she said, "bow can one help weeping at the grave of the Fatherot the Country?" "oh, indeed, madam," said he, ''that's it." "Well, the tomb's over yonder. This the ice house."

.)« iit,

RIPBSINO PEAKS.—As we are in the season of pears, a knowledge of how to ripen them is all important, for the looks and flavor of a pear are essential to a good price. The requisites are a cool room and woolen blankets, Spread a blanket upon the floor, then thinly and evenlv spread the fruit, covering with the second blanket. Pears treated in this way will ripen finely. They will color well, remain crisp and {nicy, and rarely nave the mealiness which is a deterioration. The Bartletts will come out of a golden color, and the Sickles rich and ruddy looking. This is a simple mode, and well worth trying, for a majority of o«r pears are spoiled in ripening.

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Fun, Fact, Fancy.

EXTENSIVE OWNERSHIP.—Hans Vanderspiocken bought a piece of land in the city, and upon it he proposed to erect a building that should serve bim as a store, a manufactory and a dwelling. When he came to strike out for the cellar be directed the mason to dig several feet deeper than had been planned. "But," expostulated the architect, 4you are going deeper than I ever heard of."

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Very goot," replied Hans

4,I

shall

go shoost asb deep ash I bleeze. I owns te grount all de vay t'hrough?" His answer to the builder was equally pat and rnady. The building had cone up four stories, and Hans ordered another story. "But, my dear man," said the builder, "do you realize how high you are going? Your building is already a full story above those around it." "Never you mint de oder house, mine frient. I builds ash I bleeze mitout caring for dem. I vants on dat oder sthory—land us very scheep oop dare!"

Mrs. Boffin, an ignorant parvenue, having "come in for a heap of money," is enabled to keep a footman. She has recently been to the theatre, and has seen that in the stage drawing room scenes footmen never bring notes in their hands. Her servant Thomas has just been guilty of so doing. Immediately she draws herself up, and tries to look with Belgravian hauteur on the menial as she observes. "Thomas, I'm surprised at your btinging in a note like that. In 'future, always bring it in Qn a saliva."

A mechanic employed in a carriage shop at Grand Rapids, Michigan, telegraphed to a friend a few days since as follows: "Come right away good job which, under the skillful manipulation ol the operator, read, when delivered "Couie right away gc*d God," The receiver of the dispatch, fearing that his friend had met with some terrible accident, hastened to that city as soon as possible, in no enviable state ot mind, and was very agreeably disappointed on learning tL.e mistake.

A couple, on their way home from a

Kicnic,

were deposited on the earth by reaking of the carriage. The young man went to a neighbor's house lor help, and in moving about for the door, fell down an open hatchway into the cellar. When h^ got on his feet he found a huge dog barking at the entrance, and in the brief intervals ot the dog's bark could distinctly hear the man of the house heavily ^charging a double-barrel gun. ».

It is related of a certain minister, who was noted for his long sermons, with many divisions, that one day when he was advancing among the teens, he reached at length a kind of resting place in his discourse, wheu, pausing to take breath, he asked the question: "And what shall I say more?"

A voice from tho congregation earnestly responded, "Say amen The Boston Sunday Courier says:

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A thriftv citizen who effected insurance on 'the life ol his wite to the amount of $10 000, tho other day took home a box of little red Maryland plums, and enjoyed a whole evening in watching his wife eat them. His enterprise had its reward. Deducting #298 for funeral expenses, he is now $9,702 richer than he was a week ago."

The father of Dorabella recently found that little girl's chubby little hands full of the blossoms of a beautiful rose treo on which he had bestowed great care.

44My

dear said he, "did

n't I tell you not to pick one of these flowers without leave?" "Yes, papa," said Dorabella, "but all theso had leaves."

A Dolly Varden pie Take four yards of light dough, gather it up in flounces, crimp the edges, and fill up with fruit,

with outtons of dough, connected with frills of the same, and you will have a tasteful and elegant pie, only you must eat it, not wear it.—[Petersburg Index.

Said a friend to a merchant who was trying to collect some outstanding bills, "you have a good deal of money coming to you, haven't you?"

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Yes," replied the merchant, and I can't help wondering why I have to run so often after wbat is coming to me."

An ofd colored washerwoman, who used to groan over her tubs, found consolation in the hope that she "would soon be where robes won't need washing, and a poor creature can upset her tub and dance on the bottom of it, singing glory, hullaballo, forever aud forever

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Why, Ichabod, I thought you got married more'n a year ago?"- "Well, aunt Jerusha, it was talked of but I found out that the firl and all of her folks were opposed to it, so I jest give 'em all the mitten, and let the thing drop."

MIRTHFUL MORSELS.

Hop merchants—Dancing-masters.

"Weight for the wagon," as tbo fat lady sang. Miss construction—whalebone, wadding and paint.

Tom—What ails your eye, Joe? Joe— I told a man he lieu. Room for improvement is probably the lagest room in the world.

Wbat is the first thing a young lady looks for in church? The hims. "News ot the weak" is the head-line given by a city editor to a hospital report.

A thief running away is Mcamp, but the policeman's,chase after him is a scamper.

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Why do white sheep eat more than black onos Because there are more of them. "Allers to court and never to marry makes the happiest heart a fellow can carry.

A country newspaper, speaking of a blind flddler, says: "Although he can't see be can saw." "Molly, my darlin,' wbat o'clock is it? and where's the pudding?" "It's eight" (ate) said Molly.

Why is a washerwoman the most cruel person in the world Because she daily wrings men's bosoms. "Don't tronb1®! yourself to stietcb your mouth any wider." said a dentist to a man who was extending bis jaw frightfully, "as I intend to stand outside during the performance."

The man who has never told an editor bow he con Id better his paper has gone out West to marry tho woman who never looked into a looking-glass.

Tfie T)octor.

SPRINGING OUT OF BED. Dr. Hall does not approve of the old doctrine which was formally instilled into the minds of children—that tbey should spring out of bed the instant they awake in the morning. He says that "up to eighteen years every child should be allowed ten hours' sleep, but' time should be allpwed to rest in bed, after the sleep is over, until they feel as if they bad rather get up than not. It is a very great mistake for persons, old or young—especially children and feeble or sedentary persons—to bounce out of bed the moment they wake up all our instincts shrink from it, and fiercely kick against it. Fifteen or twenty minutes spent in gradually waking up, after tho eyes are opened, and in turning over and stretching tho limbs, do as mnch good as sound sleep, because the operations set the blood in motion by degrees, tending to equalize the circulation tor during sleep the blood tends to stagnation, the heart beats feebly and slow, and to shock the system by bouncing up in an instant and sending the blood in overwhelming quantities to the heait, causing it to assume a gallop, where the instant before it was in a creep, is the greatest absurdity. This instantaneous bouncing out of bed as soon as the eyes are open will be followed by weariness long before noon."

TEN COMMANDMENTS. 1. Secure, if possible, a vigorous constitution. 2. Eat a good supply of the best food'. 3. Take a proper amount of physical exercise daily. 4. Use pure water to drink. 5. Secure abundance ol pure air for the lungs. 6. Take eight hours of good sleep out every of twenty-four. 7* Observe cleanliness. 8. Observe regularity in all your habits. 9. Take wise but not excessive recreation. 10. Work at some useful and congonial employment.—Herald of Health.

GRAHAM IlliFA D.

44

Keep it before the people," and on the table, till dyspeptics are no more. One quart of new milk, half a cup ot new yeast, and a cup of molasses. Stir in Graham meal until stiff let rise, and bake throe quarters of an hour never mould as for fine flour bread. When the meal is coarse, as is best for pndding, stirring in a cup of shorts, or lino flour, will make it less harsh. i-"t 3«

DIET FOR DIARRHAOEA Roast some rice as you would coffeo then grind it in a coffee mill then dissolve two ounces of gum arable in one

flint

of hot water when dissolved put a teacup of rice, and let it boil twenty minutes, or until it is the consistency of mush. If too thick, as you use it, thin it with hot water. Dosperate cases havo boen cured by this remedy.

E A IT E S

Tbo stomach should havo rest al night, as well as tho other organs of the body. Heavy suppcr9 distend tho stomach, impedo the respiration, op-

Eorrldthebrain,nightmare,

ress cause disturbed sleep, dreams, and in many cases sudden death. Shun heavy suppors.

Turpentine, in doses of twenty or thirty minims, given at intorvals of an hour or two, will not only removo the nervous and hysterical headache, to which many ladies are subject, but produce a wonderful soothing influenco.

Half a lemon oaten every morning on rising, and on retiring, is often efficacious in removing a billions condition of the system, giving a good appetite and greater general health. ^,

A LADY VISITS 1 FKAVION AND RKTUBN8 TO EAIITIT.—On \lio 7th Mrs. Gardner, wife of a farmer living near Eastmanville, Ottowa county, died under circumstances most extraordinary. Two of her sisters were dead, ono. recently, only a few weeks ago. Tho cause of Mrs. Gardner's death was a congestive chill, and after sho had been considered dead for six hours and was being prepared lor tho grave. Hho returned to consciousness and talked freely with her attendants. Sho stated to those around her that sho h-td been to the better land and had seen both her departed sisters and othor friends that it was a most beautiful land—beyond all description. Sho said that she had permission to return to toll living friends of what she had seen, but sho was anxious to return. Sho passed away soon after making her statement and seemingly overflowing with joy and happiness. There can bo no question as to the circumstances above related.—[Detroit Tribune.

ONE-HALF the people cannot take Castor Oil from its terrible nauseating taste, and recoil in tho throat. Tho Castoria prepared by Dr. Pitcher, Is purely vegetable, perfectly harmless, pleasant to take, and more effective than Castor Oil. It does not distress or gripe, but regulates the system, and operates when all other remedies have failed. It acts like magic for Stomach Ache, Constipation, Flatulency, Croup and Worms. It contains nolther Minerals, Morphlno nor Alcohol. Its soothing, quieting effect, produces natural sleep, and particulaily adapts it to crying and teething children. No article has ever met such unqualified endorsement by the Physicians. Take no more Bitter Pills, Narcotic Syrups, Griping Purgatives or Sickening Oils. The Castoria costs but 35 ceuts, and when once tried you will never be with.-t out it.

rrt IJYESLU

THE man has never been found who can choke down the Tornado Thresher. It rfin't be choked, and it won't be choked. It has hundreds of friends in this

neigh borhcx

neighborhood who have tried it thoroughly

nsAYn UYESIIIhesitateparties

Ot-R object beliff to sell machines we won't miss a sale. Where are good, or furnlnh ample security, we don't to prlve long time. Koine

money Is great ways

money Is necessary ,ibut a little will go a great Ways toward a Tot na^o.

nSAYfl-AT

a trial of Cider Mills, each claiming to be the beat. No. 1 produced 6J4 pounds of Cider with 75 r'-vohilinns. No. 2, 1% pound* with 00 revolution*, No.

IjYESlU

3. 7 pounds with 60 revolutions, while the American Mill produced 9J4 pounds with 10 evolutions. See It at Jones A Jones'.

^THKTOII?*A DOHKPAHATOK luthfl tiislied, work east Ing* are ddedly

USD

TUB TOHKAOO WKPAHATOR inch in cylinder, .'W inrli carrier. "HieTornadoZu Inch cylinder, 41 Inch carrier. The Carey Power jp horae. The Carey

Power mounted ordownv Warranted every

8 horse or

one of them, at Jones & Jone*, Tu -Haute, Indiana.

FA

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