Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 3, Number 8, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 24 August 1872 — Page 1

Vol.

3-—J

{Written for The 8a tar day Evening Mall.]

MOBNINO IN THE CO UNTJl Y. BY KATHTE. A warmer tint tinges the Eastern gray— Then colors, deeper still, their blushes if

lend

And noon the heralds approaching day,— In barn of golden light a halo send, And rose and gold In richest lustre blend. The vunllgbt stream* In floods of crystal

And the chased shadows to the West now tend, And on the meadow grass the dew-drops Hparkle lft e'diamonds^ rare to the admirin

The mists yet hang upon the distant hills, And with an airy veil, their verdure clotlie The lucid water, in the little nils,

Heems drowsy still so dreamily it flows, Till a warm beam over its water glows, And it goes dancing on its winding way.

Till now no sound disturbed the stlil repose,— Birds have begun to sing their morning lay, And Joyously they greet the bright returning day.

The sun lias waked from sleep the charming flowers, And blushingly they meet his warm embrace And with fresh beauty gleaned from starry hours—

With pearly drops adding their dainty

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grace—

Each one now tribute pays, as to replace What they all owe the glorious King of Day: Vijjln cujjs of rarest make, they, each in

hirer him nectared sweets —then on his way The Day-King passes on, aud others homage pay. The spear-leafed corn that Alls the Summer fields,

Now gracefully rear high their tasseled head*, As If each felt with pride the wealth it ylrlflH

The toil-worn farmer, and tliejoy It sheds Upon the millions who must work for bread. The tiny Insects hum their quiet songs.

Hovering among the sweets of clover

And every voice in nature now prolongs The harmony, in which not one harsh note belongs. What sol repose! What moments now of

And, to the waiting soul, the breezes waft Sweet, holy peace on such a morn as this! Come, and from nature's fount her nectar quaff, .,

And life Inhale with each Inspiring draught! Must man still be the one discordant string

In all this harmony Can he not laugh For very Joy, and make the green woods ring? Till man and nature Join, and one grand chorus alng.

Husks and Nubbins.

i4 A WORD TO THE LADIES.

I h'ftve a few a words to say to the young ladies. And to begin with, I want It uudorstood, If It is not already, that I um not one of this class myself, nor even ft member of the sex. For a suspicion of this kind would destroy the effect of all I am about to say. I am in fact a young man, and as such, want to say a lew plain words to some of my lady friends and to a groat many others who would be my friends If we had ever mot.

Young ladles are, as a general thing, too timid and conservative in their social habits. They have no ideas, or if they have, are afraid to express them in the presenoe of men. The woman's rights movement, besides some good It has done, has exerted a pernicious Influenoe in this, that its opposers have eternally harped on the weakness, modesty, and unobtruslveness of woman—qualities which every one will admit belong in a peoullar manner to her sex and are its peculiar adornment —and painted her in the most alluring colors olothed in these feminine graces. They have oompared her to the sunbeam straying in through the branches and klifting into life the hidden flower to the flower Itself, fragile, delicate and beautlfol. They have contrasted the woman thill arrayed with the Dr. Walkers of her sex and the Dr. Walkers have come off seoond best. They have said, thtfce strong men, that they do not want any strength in woman, but grace, affection, love. And our young ladle®, shrinking from every approach towards Dr. Walkorism, have gone to the other extreme of softness and timidity. Casting off all independence and originality of thought, thoy liavo become absolute nonentities in the presence or men.

It so happens that a man of sense and "ideas finds combatively little injoyrnent iii their company. Conversation becomes a bore, because there is no vim, no substance about it. No matter what subject is approached his companion refuses to give any opinion on it. It is tossed off with an idle remark as if totally unworthy of any consideration another is touched upon' and thrown off in the same unceremonious inauner and so the whole evening goes, constant and constrained effort after an unnatural vivacity, a studied contempt for everything approaching thought or sentiment. A man of sense and fooling grows weary of such hearteas chatter. It will do for the foam of the glass, but one expects something

Bolider below the foam. In the desert of such cotumouplaoeness it is refreshing to come occasion Ally upon an oa*i* pleasant with Its own original greenness where there is life and growthstriking variety for dull monotony and Insipidity. It makes one's ears fairly eland up

with

expectation to hear some

naive remark from a quiet-looking girl which indicates thai she has an idea of bar own and ia not afraid to speak it. In the shifting of chair* one

naturally gravitates towards such a phenomenon. He is anxious to find out whether there is a second idoa behind the first or whether, perchance, the expression was only a sort of parrot-per-formance. Glad is he if he discovers in his new acquaintance a thought-bank which issues its own coin and stamps it with its own imprint. His stay by the side'of such a person is a matter of considerable surprise to the rest of the company. They wonder what the two can be talking about so soberly and laughing at so merrily betimes. The truth is they are not talking about anything In particular. They lay hands on whatever comes along that way and make it the scape-goat of their ideas. They find a real eBjoyment in comparing their opinions and seeing where they run parallel, diverge, cross, or come into plump opposition. It is a sort of mental abrasion which has a deal of pleasure in it. Each knows something the other does not and they unite their wisdom. Each feels something the other does not and the contact enlarges their sympathies. The rest of the company flit about, idle and rebtless—discontented and incompetent to content. The foam has become insipid. *S«-

Now, my dear lady friends, do not misunderstand me and misjudge me. I am no lean, long-faced old bachelor, with a chronic disposition to carp and criticise, my nose always thrust into a book or newspaper, and utterly invulnerable to a bright smile and a merry word of nonsense. Nothing of the sort. I love the ladies and their smiles aud nonsense. But I confess that I like a little honest sense and soberness, too, occasionally. In a former paper about laughing, I expressed my disapprobation of the all-laugh system,so nowl am in favor of mixing up some feminine sense with your feminine nonsense. I do not ask you to put aside a whit of grace or modesty. Heaven forbid it! I would not have you sacrifice a grain of true womanliness for all the sense and logio in the world. But it doesn't follow that beoause you "keep your hearts full of sweetness and innocence that you must smother your minds and pluck up every original thought. I have known ladles who are as modest and unostentatious as any of you, who would not for the world offend in any matter of feminine delicacy, who have as much sparkle and merry repartee, as much sympathy and tenderness as the best of their sex, with whom it is a rare delight to spend an evening. Their mind culture has kept pace with their heart culture, and while they have romped and laughed and cultivated the charms peculiar to their sex, have read and studied also, and have always at hand an Intelligent opinion or a brave word of encouragement. Who will oomplain that Shirley, and Lucy Snow and Jayne Eyre are wanting in any of the feminine graces? And yet when one reads Charlotte Bronte's works he cannot help feeling that her piquant and original characters would be very pleasant to meet In modern society.

Some will Curb Hp their noses at this and say: ••The Lord save me from any of your oratorical blue-stockings, your Platonlo Laura Daltons. Of all things on earth such women are the most disgusting." Right, my good fellows: I shake bands with you on that. And if I thought this article would aid in the least to make of one those unfeminine monstrosities I assure you I would now twist it up and hold it in the blase of my lamp and allow the "Husks and Nubbins" place to go this week unfilled. But I have no fear that my gentle' readers will so misunderstand me. I want merely to let them know that there are some men, and a good many more than they think, who are sorry they make such intellectual babies of themselves, plucking up with a careful hand every growth of independence and originality as if they were poisonous wocds, whereas they are the rarest and most beautiful plants. We do not ask them to open on us, as soon as we enter their presence, a battery ofliterary criticism, or go into a disquisition on the relative merits of Plato and

Emerson. If they did we should probably take an abrupt leave and be guilty of a very prolonged absence. But, if in the intervals of flash and sparkle, we drop a [word of *«nse, or give utteracne to a conviction cn some important subject, or refer to some literary or aesthetic principle, we do not want to be put off with a heartless laugh or answered with a commonplace platitude, or met with an indifferent innocence of all literary or aesthetic culture. We want an honest, sympathetic, intelligent reply, such as will do equal honor to our friend's head snd heart, and challenge our respect while It wins our admiration. We Insist on our lady friends being something more than artificial wax-figures, something thst can think and feel, as well as laugh and sparkle.

But txrbwm. tat sapientitm*. If I shall set my readers to a little thought on thesubfect it will be all 1 intended to

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do.

own-T alk.

tiff

SAFE

T. T. is profoundly happy to announce that the country is safe. The politicians of this municipality have it "all fixed up." In no possible contingency can things so miscarry that the perpetuity of the great Republic shall be endangered. It is already ascertained beyond doubt that Grant will be elected that he will carry Vigo county by three hundred majority, and the State by eight thousand one hundred and sixty-four votes. So say the wise men at the Republican headquarters. It is equally certain—so say the arithmetic men at the other headquarters—that Horace will come in with a rousing rush that the Democratic county ticket will sweep everything befoie it,and that Hendricks will have so many votes that he won't know what to do with them. So, all are happy and the future is big with splendid promise. ^And this being the case, why should there be such commotion, such wearing out of neat's leather, such rushing to and fro, and such a terrible kullaboo Why can't the confident politicians, when they know that their side is going to win,rest calmly in their sweet assurance? What's the need of hurrahing, and torchllghting, and hornblowing and speechmaking and all that sort of thing for candidates that can't possibly be beaten.

IMPERTINENT REALISTS.

Samples of all sorts of people are are found in Terre-Haute—good, bad and indifferent, and the ten thousand intermediate grades of these grand divisions. T. T. has given pen-pictures of many of these sorts and the discriminating publlo has recognised the truthfulness of his work. This week T. T. proposes to touch up a numerous and disagreeable class, those who pride themselves on seeing through all the illusions of life, and tearing away every veil of gauze which individual fondness or social propriety may throw over the ugly and painful. These run a muck through society, attacking all its cherished deoeits, however innocent and harmless. They would make a clean sweep of all the phantasms of of the imagination, put to flight the airy creatioa^^f .the fancy, and dispel the clotidless Visions of dreamland. They would not that man should ever forget his primitive constitution of dust and ashes. With the least tendency heavenward before his time they tug him to earth at once. These impertinent realists are the great destroyers of human happiness. They begin early, continue long, and never cease until the end of life. A mother's tenderness even cannot soften their hard hearted posltiveism. They will rudoly blur the maternal vision of her child's beauty with the unwelcome assertion that it is ugly. "All babies are ugly," Is a favorite proposition of these plsln spoken people. This may be a (Set In natural history bit It is something that was never dreamt of in the philosophy of the mother to whom the ugliest child Is most beautiful. In fact, as there sre no absolute laws of beauty, there is no reason why the maternal fondness should not be accepted as the test in regard to the looks of her own infant. No indifferent person has the right to sn opinion contrary to that of her who Is so deeply concerned. A polite concurrence is the duty of every civilised being. Politeness, however, is never recognized as an obligation by the plain-spoken people, of one of whom T. T. recollects an incident that occurred here not long ago, strikingly illustrative of this statement. A fond mother was displaying her firstborn to a circle of her husband's friends. Among these there chanced to bo a plain-spoken person of the plainest kind. Every one but he hastened to utter the compliment appropriate to the occasion. Ho kept what ho had to say until the mother had been warmed to the highest point of maternal vanity by the intense expressions of admiration of all but him, when ho deliberately dashed upon her his bucketful of cold water. "Your baby, Madam," said he, "reminds me of a flat-headed Indian." The comparison, it is true,.was not Inapproate. As for the suitableness of theremark to the occasion let all tender mothers decide. These plain spoken people hsve the audacity to declare in the face of every boy that there never was such a person as Robinson Crusoe or his man Friday, and that Jack the Giant-Killer Is a myth. Boys fortunately have a sturdy faith sustained by a young and vigorons Imagination and they are generally proof to the unwelcome and improbable verities of plain spoken people. It is, however, none the less cruel to torment the youthful credulity with the uncertainties of doubt. Never invite a plainsposen person to dinner, for he will be sure to detect the cider in your cbam pagne bottle, and announce the fact beforethe whole company. Don't trust in his presenoe to the de­

5TERRE-HAUTE, SATURDAY EVENING, AUGUST 24,1872.

lusion of a wig, oroonfide In the artifice of a hair-dye, for he will penetrate the deceit and expose you in all the baldness and grayncss of age. After death, let not your family invite him to your funeral, for he will tell all your failings to his companion as he goes to your grave. Plain spoken people perhaps have their good side also. They are quick to detect every sham, and may serve as correctors of false pretensions. If they would oonfine their detective propensities and their public denunciations to all the false shows of wealth, gentility, benevolence and religion,one might wish them Godspeed. While, however, they continue to run a muck at all tile innocent illusions of the imagination and the heart you should keep your doors closed and yourselves, if possible, secure from the shock of all "plain-spoken people."

People and Things.

Greeley says he will drink wine when it is made as harmless as milk. Offenbach's real name is Jacob Bier. The English of Meyerbier is more bier.

Henry Ward Beecher is not exactly in favor of total abstinence for himself.

CommodoreVanflerbilt.it is reported is going to join the Methodist Church.

A young Bible agent in Des Moines has become insane through excessive religious labors.

A Detroit man made quick work of dying by being carried 500 times around a shaft in a trioe. r.

Fred. Douglass, when referring to the pooi white people of the South, says, we poor white people."

Henry Wilson says he hasWade thirteen hundred speeches since he hss been upon "God's Green earth."

An old rat in Chicago caught a young one by the tail and dragged him |away just as he was stepping into a trap.

Stanley's real name is John Thomas. His mother says so. He picked up Stanley because bethought it had more style.

The Smiths had a dinner at Pittsburg a while ago. The first toast was Pocahontas—Heaven bless her for saving the Smiths to this country.

The St^ Louis Democrat's Indian-re-porter says: "The-One-That-Hunts-the-Tiger was up at Lem. Wakefleid's last night, and lost all his wampun on the ace."

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Vnnderbilt's daily income is 912,000, The old man must spend very freely to use'up tenth of it—and when he dies some other fellow'll get it all—Comforting, isn't it.

Mr. L. J. Wentworth, of Chicago, must be a rather tall man. The Times speaks of him as having "been seen striding, telegraph pole in hand, down Michigan avenue.

Robert J" Doe, a well-knowa temperance lecturer, is very frequently taken for President Grant, whom he strongly resembles. Gen. Grsnt is not a temperance lecturer. *•*.'.

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Mr. Barnnm is eminently sffable, but yesterday gave flat refusal to the lady who attacked him with a pencil and palm-leaf fan, snd ssked him for his autogirafie.—Missouri Democrat.

Since it has been decided in lows that the Sunday liquor law does not apply to persons whose religion entails the observance of a day other than the Cbrlstain Sabbath, they say that the number of Jews and Seventh-day Baptists discovered in a community ,would astonish a census-taker.

The celebrated "Beau Hickman," who formerly lived in luxury by assessments levied on verdant Congressmen, and who then constituted himself "the glass of fashion and mold of form," now has to find board with a negro family in aback alley in Washington city.

This is decidedly bitter "People who honor their fathers and their mothers have the Comforting promise that their days shall be long upon the land. They are not sufficiently numerous to make the insurance companies think it worth their while to offer them special rates"

I •t

A good story is told of a clergyman in a Massachusetts town who forgot bis notes on a Sabbath morning, and as it was too late to send for them he said to his audience, by way of apology, that this morning he would have to depend upon the Lord for what be might say, but in the afternoon he would come better prepared.

Bill Hudson," a renowned flj©-eat-er, has recently died near Kingston. One of his feats wss taking living coals from the Are, and one by one chewing them as if they were the choicest morsels, and swallowing them, while the smoko issued from his mouth and the horrid stench ot burning flesh wss perceptible. The man seemed to suffer no inconvenience, though his lips were parehsd and burned to a crisp.

Feminitems.

There are fourteen lady clerks in the Michigan Auditor's office, Miss Matilda Fletcher has taken the stump tor Grant in Nebraska.

A couple of girls have opened a'fashionable tailoring store in Boston. There are no less then Ave Yankee girls studying in Milan, Italy, for the lyric stage.

Tennie Claflin says that if the skins of her regiment are black their livers are as white as hers is.

Fashionable Grant young ladies of Terre Haute affect bull .pups instead of poodles.—[Ind. News., --ni

Pauline Lucca come of plebian stock, fust as Nilsson did. The "plehs" furnish all the great people now-a-days.

One of the best educated and most accomplished ladies in Newport is a daughter of Mr. Downing, the colored caterer.

Graoe Greenwood liked the sensation of feeling a stirrup under each foot so well that she will visit Colorado again this season.

Women will play the fool. One Is traveling with an eastern circus, wearing thn motley and being annouced as "the great lady jester." &

Mrs Carl Schurz and family are 'making a tour of the German watering places, and are everywhere the recipients of distinguished social courtesies.

The only thing that will revive a Tennessee girl, when she faints, it to chuck, a dip-stick with the "chawed" end well covered with snuff, into her off jaw.

No lady can call another a "roaring gimlet" with impunity in San Francisco. Miss Allen applied that term to Miss Mckenna, and pines in jail for it.

A young girl named Jamison, fell head foremost, five feet, from a swing, near St. Joseph,Missouri, a few days ago, and, breaking her neck, died instantly. 'It

The five young women who announced that they wonld ride astride in Central Park, New York, failed to appear and disappointed a yearning crowd of 5,000.

Women .have commenced parting their names in the middle. Miss A. De Etta Bloodgood* a young female artist in New York, is making marvelous wax flowers.

The Christian Union says: "Wheth er wot^en ought to preach depends upon whether they can preach. Experiment should be made, cautiously, and on a small scale."

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Miss Fannie Carson, of Iowa, played Maud Muller, one day last week, to some purpose. Instead of fooling around with a rheumatic old Judge, she raked up forty tons of hay. •n

A young lady named Klock has just been elected a County Superintendent of Public Instruction in Kansas. Won't somebody make a remark about being "wound up," or "set back," or ''run ningon tick?"

HERS AND THERE, lift-}

The Mik&o is coming. Everybody is expected to mik-a-do about it. The Hindoos only drink water. Oth er people would do well to do as ths Hindoo.

It is desirable that every barkeeper have a son to buoy up his spirits when his own steps are no longer buoyant.

A. T. Stewart and C. Vanderbllt should be invited to the Fat Men's Convention. They are both very pursy.

Since Capt. Hall started for the North Pole we have two poles—the pole there is there, and the Pol-'ar-is on the way there/

John Smith is dead again. This time be got drowned at Cleveland while bathing in the lake. It would have been money in John Smith's pocket if Pocahontas hadn't interfered.

Sotbem has postponed his engagement at Wallack's until after the election. So many speeches are being done dreary he is afraid there won't be any Bhow for his Dundreary speeches.

Said Miss Arabella Wood to a suitor who had just popped the question: "I am a woman, therefore to oe Wood. I am a woman, therefore to be one." This is no way for 'ary Bella to do.

The telegraph savs the revolution is over in Mexico. But there is always a revolution over in Mexico. Diax, the disturber, has accepted amnesty. He is setting old and wants to Diaz peacefully as possible.

Stanley ssys Livingstone hss demonstrated that there are three great drains in Africa. We have thought, some times, in view of the prevalence of eur colored brother here, that Africa must be pretty well drained by thia time.

An individual who styles himself "A poet of the Sierras" wants to furnish us original poetry. We edit the Poets corner with a pair of shears mostly. We might not inaptly be termed "Poet of ths aheareaa." But this is too sheareons ousinsss. «. til :y: U. •.

Horace Greeley wasn't the author of "Go West." When Beqjamin West, the great American painter, wanted to

Eisto

Italy and study the old masters, friends in Philadelphia took up a collection and gave it to him, with ths

ranark,

"Go, West !"-Fat Contributors

Saturday Night.]

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Price Five Cents.

Connubialities.

Kentucky girls refuse to marry un*s/i less they can be run away with. In Iowa, a man traded his wife for a shuck mattress and a bottle of mncil-fe age.

A little temper is such a good thing in wives that they never ought, to lose it.—[Judy.

A scolding wife in Milwaukee dislocated her jawbone while "giving" it to her husband.

A Dutch judge on conviction of a culprit for having four wives,*decided He has punishment plenty I life mit one."

The lid of a match box constituted the earthly effects of a couple recently married in Houghton. The match wasn made in heaven. "Talk about the jaws of death exclaimed a man who was living with his yiird scolding wife, "I tell you they're no touch to the jaws of life."

The word love In the Indiau language, is "Schemlendamourtchwager." How nicely it would sound whispered softly in a lady's ear: "I schemlendamourtschwager you!"

Milwaukee has had a wooden wedding. Henry Block was married to Amanda Board. It was a plain affair. It is hoped neither party got shaved, and that nobody was bored.

Hot starch is the latest thing whicli has suggested itself to the mind of gentie woman as a means of subduing a refectory husband. The St. Louis msn^ upon whom it was tried was so stiffened thst be had to be doneup by the city physicisn. ''n

An Indisns waman, just divorced,* has written a letter of ad vice to her sex In which she says "I would say to young girls not to marry young, and when you are married live at least fifty miles from your husband's relatives." W

A bride of fourteen Is on exhibition in Nisgara this sesson. She looks younger, and, ehlidlike wipes her eyes with her spron when she cries. She hsd her first row with her husbsnd last Wednesday—called him a nasty man, snd said she wanted to see htr ma.

The Northern Journal of Montreal' says: In the present institution of marriage there are three classes of wives, and only three: the slave wife* $ the dependent pet wife and companion. Gentlemen, which do you choose? I Shall it be the bing and his slave, the king and his canary bird, or the' king and queen? For the preser-.' gj vation of marriage there can be but one answer.

This Is a paragraph that deserves a wide circulation and careful reading.The lesson it conveys is beautiful audi valusble, and if it shsll be heeded lt#» author will doubtless feel himself am* ply remunerated:

A woman in Columbia, Pa., noted for her "Jawing propensities, dislooat.ed her jawbone recently, while makings a violent attack upon her husbandT She eoold neither spesk nor shut her mouth, but remsined with tongue' hsngiug out snd eyes nearly starting from their sockets till the arrival of the surgeon, who came, the husbsnd thought,sooner thsn was necessary."

A married lady, the possessor of a Greeley fan, committed ths Indisorttion of tsking it to bed with her. Upon her lord's coming home he beheld, by the dimly burning gas, and nestled close to his wifes head, the features of a bald-headed, gray-haired man. The consequences were dreadfuL Ho promptly put four pistol balls through the sleeping visage, and then proceed* ed to to execute a war dance about the bed, which, took the whole strength ot his innocent partner's lungs and a dozen bucketsful of cold water to get him out of.

A wife in Detroit seeing a paragraph in the papers to the effect that "inatriinonial couples in Illinois get divorced just in order to have the ploasure^f fresh courting and anew honeymoop," induced her husband after much per--' suasion to consent to a divorce "just ', for the fun of the thing." When the divorce was obtained the ex-husband was astonished to find that the "courting" and "honeymooning" of his wife were to be done with another fellow. He doesn't think divorcing for fun very funny after all. His wife sees where the laugh oomes in, but be never did have an appreciation of humor.

A belligerent youngster, aged eighty three,, applied to the County Clerk ef Evansville, Ind., for a marriage license. The clerk remonstrated, saying that a man of his sge should turn his thoughts toward the other world, instesd of matrimony. "I'm of age, ain't I asked the old follow. "Well, rather," answsrsd the clerk. Off came the old jnan's coat, and taking the attitude assumed by first class pugilists, he said: "I ken jest knock fits out of any man who doesn't approve of this here matrimonlal venture of mine. I want the license, or there'll be somebody licked quicker'n thunder?" He go thi# license. "t