Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 3, Number 2, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 13 July 1872 — Page 2

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[From the Paeblo (ColAPeo •THE LEGEND OF Ejfr&P.

BY feEIfBEJtT.

[A packof modern/ools, origin of the natoet&Falrplay, them town in Bark county^ have attempted to rechrlsten it "Sontli Park Cityj"—Ex.] I dun know as tliey was fieros, felllf But I tell yon they was game,

He paid his way

An' I can bust V. That feller's crust What wants to change the name 01 the place where them fellers fit that day An' give each other sich good"Fair play." Maybe yer never heart the tale, An maybe as yfcr don't know

How it came By its cur'us name', 8o I'll tell it to you an'Joe— I ain't much'count at chinJn'yer see. But I'll tell it accordin' to my Itlie. You's both of you worked in that old gulch, An'sweated in that same sun,

A re 8 1 That feller "Tex" *.» As laid over us shootin' a gun He'd the steadiest hand an the clearest eye, An' what he shot at was like to die. But a civiler feller ^ever were, He never drinked nor blowed '1:

An' how to vex Tbat critter "Tex" There's none of us never knowed, An' mighty few would have liked to try To stand up square to that steady eye. ,f 1%Ile wer'n't no hand at minin', Bill, An' he never seemed much to cure,

From day to day,

A stranger ride

But his heart wer'n never there, rt*^ For he seemed to be alwus a-watcliin' the trail That them fellers had made as fetched the mail. 7! He 'peared to be kinder waitin', see^^ ,? For somethin'as never was done,

An'all the day, ,, I Not far away, He'd keep his favorite gun. An' he didn't keep it for none of us, 'Caus the camp boys kinder took to the cuss.

One day, I mind it were awful hot, Ho the gulch wer'nt over full, Tex" he spied ?.* **t*r

Up over the blulf on'limille, An' he Jumped so quick an' gathered his gun That none of us see'd how the tiling was done.

He met that stranger full and fair I An' he leveled his rifle true 'tj'I* )tf I ia Thar wasn't a breath ,,

T'wixt him an' death As the stranger must have knew,' 'But he never flinched nor turned away

As he sung out a single word "Fairplay."

Fair play," says "Tex," "you don't de sarve,^ For the dirt you've done to me

A sister's shame, Jul A ruined name ria-/ An'fair play don't agree. But I'll give you a chance for your dirty life With pistol or gun or bowie-knife.

I hain't got nothin'," the stranger said, To shoot or stab or cut, .. I left my traps *«, r,,

A mile perhaps, •. ,," Back yonder at that 'ere hut." I promised to give fairplay," says "Tex," ou'd better go after your rifle, I 'spects."

So the stranger he rode away on his mule, An' "Tex" cum back an' stood To see 'em pace 11

A forty yard space In a clearln' out in the wood, An' he told the boys in his uuiet way 'How he'd 'greed to give anrtake lair play

Do you think that stranger sloped Not he He cum to time all right He were to good «rlt fold i*t*

To git up and git In the face of a fair square fight. .s '"giftf There wer'nt no parson nor doctor there, Tlioy meant Business, not pills uov prayer.

Just forty yards apart they stpod, Each forty yards from Death Both as cool •miii'vf-i t!

As a government mule, An' both as steady of breath, -iini Neither 'uu flickered in nary no eye Though a moment an' oYie or both 'ud die.

Then one of the boys he counted "Two," Then came "Fire l'r By G-d A single shot J*J

The reply he got,

An'both men down on the Sod "a The stranger bored plumb tliro' the heart An' "Tex's" skull leaded 'longside the part.

They dug a hole for the stranger tliar, Exactly whar he fell. "Tex" went away ua it

That very day,

Which way there on el But as he went he was hoard to sny,,. That sou of a gun has got 'Fairplay.'

It may be, Bill, them Eastern chaps Would like to change that name—preliaps

A DARING A E RON A UT. The Chicapo Inter-Oceau has au Account ot a balloon ascension on the Fourth of July, and a daring performance on the flying trapeae at a height of one and three-quarters of a mile in the air:

At 11:30 a. m. tho aeronaut was ready for his journey. Tho balloon had neither boat nor basket, bu't simply a trapeze bar suspended from the ^ihg* The daring porformer laid hold of his bar, and with a coolness and nervo that was more in koeping with a parlor performance thau with the prospect of a iourney thraugh the air, he gave the word "let go," and up went tho gas bag Waving his right arm in an adieu to the crowd, he cried "good bye boys." The balloon kept on ascending and the aeronaut began his performance on thetrapezo. He laid himself flat acrpss tho bar, and extending his feet and hands remainod for some little time in this dangerous position. Then bending backward and his head down, 1»9 hung, held to the bar only by his feet, with his hands sending down greetings to tho speechless crowd below that watched every movement of this daring man with a broathless interest. As long as tho balloon wsts in sight of the sauare, the performer was seeji executing the most difficult evolutions with as much ease as if ho hrfd been on a stationary bar aiid on tarajftnritt. The balloon rose to a height of about one and three-quarter miles, taking a southwesterly direction, and was then seen to turn directl}' south. Tho man on tho "llying trapexe" seemed as littlo concorned as ever, and appeared to thoso who saw him pass on his course toward tho lake liko a little boy's kite driven rapkjjy before the wind.

The oyes of tho citizens wero directed upward to tho speck in the sky, •which, alter it had reached a certain Altitude, chanced its course, and then made toward Uio JaJto. Theu tho balloon was lost sight of. The dar|»g traveler, it was afterward founl, had descended about two miles out on the lake, nearly opposite Twenty-second street, and after trying one race with a propeller and another with a locomotive, he was dragged ashore by his balloon near Kendall station, where a great excitement prevailed. A boat had been sent out to his rescue, bat he eluded all pursuit aud came safely to shore, with a few scratches, having l)eeu dragged over the piers by the remorseless balloon. He was tenderly cared for at tho residence-of Mr. Barker near Hyde Park, and was ribbed Hr'^and clothed bv the members ot the

and

0 $t'

neighbor*. The athlete

flocked about him,

,ho

rner of Madison and Elizabeth streets. I found that I was getticralp into a higher strata of the air where the wind waakbMtoing a^dHfere4t tion from the^MCTeBmwlwe^

TOM THUMB'S TRIP AROUND THE WORLD. The Tom Thumb party, consisting of Gen. Tom Thumb and wife, Com. Nutt and Minnie Warren, accompanied by their manager, Mr. Sylvester Bleeeker and wife, their treasurer Mr. B. S. Kellogg, aria a retinue, making in all 13 persons and a pair of ponies and carriage arrived a.t New York, in steamer Egypt, on the 23d ult., having been absent three years, and completed a voyage around the world. They went overland to California, thence t« Japan, China, Australia, the East Indies, re turning via the Suez Canal to Egypt, the Continent.and Great Britain. They have traveled 55,000 miles (31,000 by sea), given 1,111 entertainments in different cities and towns in all climates of tho world, without losing a single day or missing a single performance through illness or accident. The little General long since accumulated a fortune, and has just completed afino residence at Middleburgh, Mass., the birthplace of his wife.

The "little people" have been received with "the most distinguished consideration" by the potentates,magnates and'hichest dignitaries of all the countries they visited. Presents and honors were showered on them wherever they went, amjl they returned to the land of their birth loaded with "spoils," and with mihcls extended and stordd with information and pleasant recollections which will afford them happiness during a life-time.

Mr..Bleecker has kept a diary during these travels, and having taken time to see all that was to be sgen, is preparing for publication a book entitled "General Tom Thumb's Voyage Around the World." Notwithstanding the General's alliuencei he and his party are so fond of excitement, which has become s6cond nature to them, that they have concluded to take one more tour of the UnitedStates, commencing in September next.

ANECDOTE OF ETHAft ALLEN. Ethan Allen once passed through the Iloosac Valley and spent the Sabbath with a friend in Williamstown, attending church Vvith him and his family. The lirst aud second presidents of Williams College were square-toed in their orthodoxy, having lar more faith in Divine wrath and justice than in his love and mercy—and their sermons gave evidence ol' their obedience to this belief. On this sabbath tho text of the worthy President Fitch was, "And if the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall tho ungodly and the sitinor appear?"

Firstly—Ho laid down a fact beyond question that not more than one in one thousand would be saved.

Secondlj*, thirdly and twelftlily—he said that not one in fitly thousand could be saved.

Ethan Allen took bis hat and cane and prepared to leave. His friend said Don't leave now."

Seventeenthly dropped from the lips of the president, who said that he had come to the conclusion that out of the countless millions of men, not more than one in a hundred thousand would be saved. Tho old soldier had been growing uneasy under this rapidly slidng scale, in which the blanks so multiplied and tho prizes faded from view. He grasped his hat and cane, when his ta itim "Don't go out. Ho

friend said to him, "Don't gc will be through shortly. He's now up to seventeenthly." "Oh, no matter," said Ethan Allen, any of you i*re welcome to mjT chanco, if 'tis ^is slim as he tells ofl" and left tho church.—[Hopsao Valley News.

Here Is a wild tale from tho Memphis Appeal: "A strong man falleth. He visiteth a faro bank, he loosoth all. As tho grav dawn approached he walked sad and dejected down one of our principal streets. He waxeth wroth, and the more lie thought of his loolishness the more wroth he becamd. He approached the unsuspecting man, who, with his foot proppea up on a doorstep, stooping over, was quietly tying his shoe. The victim of faro saw the breach. Here was an object on which to vent his spleen, regardless of the consequences. He loosened his femur aud its attachments, and the whole of the meta carpels of his right foot went thundering into tho shoe tyer's Tear. A pause s. t. recovered himself and gazed upon his opponent. 'What are you kicking me lor, sir I was only tying my shoe.' 'D—n you, you are always tying your shoe,' and on went the irate loser "at faro while the assailed gazed after him in mute amazement. •I suppose I do Wrong some people by tying that shae so much.' Philosophers are not all dead."

A MICH WAN constable, from whose custody a prisouor had escaped with only a shirt on. while in search of the convict, was told by one of his neighbors that there had appeared at the house of the latter, during the night, an individual who was stark naked, and who refused to glvo anv account of himself. The neighbor farther said that the stranger was still in his house, and might yet be taken. The constable flew around, got his hand-caffs, «ND rode UP to the residence of his inforiivmt to find that the lad/0f the hot^ had given birth during t£e night to a very fine baby.

THE MYSTERY

i#a.s.

TgjSfe

egging of the«illofi| gtttartMed JcTI could not st|§§ghG^|i lfSouta^J I soon rose to the heiip^t o/jaboH a "mlle and a half, and gfdlng easfc' Very rapidly. Fir pulled the* valve clear ppen and tie^it to.the ring. It was twenty minings jlftor I opened the valve before theUalloon began to descend. Tf 'I had known the lake was so narrow as it is I would have gone across it. I understand It is but sixty miles wide hero, but-the elands below me interferred with my seeing that distafice. I can see one bmidved mti«8'in clear weather. I could seo tho southern sho/e bending elf, toward the east. I could see by tlin smoke of the steamers passing under me that the lawer current of air was blowing to shore, and I came down as rapidly as.I could, I struck the water about two miles out. nearly opposite Twenty-second street, and was driven rapidly in shore by the wind. I had no boat or basket in the balloon, nothing but the trapeze rope in which I had been performing, and this I loosened and threw into, the lake some time before I struck. The bal loon held me about breast deep in the water, and I was compelled to cling tightly as it would havo risen had I let go. A bag that I had containing a suit of citizens' clothes and §20 in money was lost in the lake. This is my twen ty-third ascension. I have met with many such results before. Last January, while making an ascension at Norfolk, Va., I came near being driven out to the Atlantic and was only saved by the balloon catching upon a tree at the very edge of the water. My name is Washington M. Donaldson. I am 31 years of age, and reside at Philadelphia, ff

TERRE-HAUTE SATURDAY. EVENING MAIL. JULY 13, 1872.

Where is Our Little Pefo

~ta»tu$al%re ]the follbwin^ |-eatud^qAestibnipgs^ by a parreferepce to .# ^eceksed child,

vrhi|£ w6-|popy Ijgpm thp J^tyhtnson (Kan.) Champion: Where are you, our little pet? Do you lie all unconscious where we weeping let vou down a few days ago Or have you gone to the spirit world? Aud what is a spirit world? How can you live, feel, see, kudw, "without that little caiket 'the body? Ami if your spirit has flown, wbiiher has it flown? How f&ir 'away*Tiave ytrii gdtie, little pet? Do v«tu know anything that is going on bore below And if so, how much are you permitted to -know, and how do you know it? Do you see it yourself, or do the angels tell you? Do you know how much we grieve for you, how many sad tears we shed, how we try to sing some of those home songs, in which your little voice used to mingle and how we suddenly cease and all weep aloud Do you see us when we go to visit your little grave, and do you hear us when we talk of planting theflowers, and placing the green sod, and erecting the little marble block there? "Are you happy, little Pet? You used to say that you 'would like to go to heaven, but that you would iump down agbin and coute back.' Do you feel liko jumping down now You used to say you 'wanted to go to h6aven, but you did not want wings.' Hare you got wings now. little Pet? but oh, .how we miss you, little Pet?, you were the light and joy of our household, and we all feel very lonely without you! Yet ir you are only cared for tenderly ancj are happy, we can wait. But we should like to more than believe. We should like to know. If we 'could only hear from you one clear, distmct Yea! to these various queries so often made, so there could be no mistake about, it would be very consoling. But we know you cannot answer. The curtain between this and the future world is down, never to be lilted until each one makes his exit.

The gates are not ajar,' and if we are faithful here it will be well with us there, and we shall go and meet the good and the innocent—the dear ones gone belore. Adieu, then, little Pet! Ah! yes, we have said it many times before, but it comes back again upon us, and so we alternate

Between the calming andtheweepiugi Farewell, little. Pet, for this side of heaven. And how many like us havo been afflicted! How many little coffins have been made how many little graves have been dug, and how many sweet, pleasant homes have been darkened But they have gone in sweet, beautiful and heavenly innocepcy. It must bo well with them. Is it well with us! 'They|will not return to us shall we go with them ?f""

A FALLltN CLERO YMAN.t £. A city correspondent of the Albany Argus writes

A few years ago a prepossessing young man appeared among the candidates for the vacant pulpit of a prominent pulpit of this city. His previous history was somewhat mysterious, and very little was known of him by other pastors of the denomination. About all the facts that could be obtained were that ho came from the South, and more recently from extensive .travels abroad. His high-toned personal address, and skillful conversational powers, repelled inquisitive persons from obtaining much insight into his history and antecedents. His pulpit exercises w£re of a very high order. He was an oratbr of the pathetic school, and chose his themes from the most pathetic incidents of the Bible. So skilfully did he draw those pen pictures that whenever he preached many of the congregation were moved to tears. His sermons were made up of striking contrasts, good and evil, rewards and punishments, which were thought by the younger part of the congregation to be very profound and eloquent, but the older ones ruled otherwise, and ho went away without a call.' A few weeks after, this congregation jnet to docide upou a pastor, ana it was found that this young man was the choice of the people by a large ihajority. An eflort was made to lind him, but ho had disappeared. Letters of inquiry were written to several persons, but no trace could bs had of him and so the matter ended. To-day this youug man lies in the Albany county jail awaiting trial. He is changed in personal appearance and would not probable be recognized. Whatever his history might be, certain it is that at one timo he might have been pastor of one of our wealthiest churches. 1 ift!

WHA TISIN THE BEDROOM A If two persons are to occupy a bedroom during a night, let them step on a weighing scale as they retire, ana then again in the morning,and they will find their actual weight is at least a pound less in the morning. Frequently there will be a loss of two or more pounds, aud the average loss through the year will be a pound of matter, which has one off from their bodies, partly rom the lungs, partly through the pores of the skin. Theescaped matter is carbonic acid and decayed animal mattor or poisonous exhalation. This is diffused through the air, in part, and part absorbed by the bed-clothes. If a siugle ounce of wood cotton bo burned in a room it will so completely saturate the air with smoke that one can hardly breathe, though there can be only one ounce of foreign matter in the air. If an ounce of cotton be burned everv half hour during the night, the air will be kept continually saturated with smoke, unless thero can bo an open window for it to escape.. Now the sixteen ounces of smoke thus formed is far less poisonous than the sixteen of exhalation from the lungs and bodies of two persons nfbo have lost a pound in weight during the eight hours in sleeping for while the dry smoke is mainly taken into tho lungs, the damp odors from the body are absorbed both into the lungs and into the pores of the whole body. Need more be said to show the importance of having bedrooms well ventilated, and of thoroughly airing the sheeUs, coverlids, and mattresses in tho morning, before packing them ifp in the form of a neatly made befl?

A MAN in Massachusetts had an unreasonable grudge, against his minister, that lasted twenty-five years. But at last the hand ot death knocked at the door of the parishioner, and he sent for his pastor. The good man hastily obeyed the summons, with a| solemn delight, ashis being thus called showed a mellowing of the heart of the dying man which promised reconciliation both with heaven and himself.

You sent for me?" hosaid as be approached the bed side. "Yes," answered the dying mab, whose breath was now short and difficult—"I have but a few—a few hours to live, and I sent—sent for you to say that—that this is your last—your last chance to apologize!"

lAlhflWiirti'fr'l

A PERILOUS POSITION.

A Man in the Jaws

Lengeijth notoriety, by has suf] and tee at Port exhibi in a ci three pitt esses and

ie?, has achieved iber of times bt

Jnmls. was! a/dVdafrs ago, timing" abilities

je of his cages contained lamed brutes, two lionHe had found, con

trary to usual experience, that, the male lion was the most crafty of the three, and on two-occasions before the 06e at Pprtage Cit^-, he had detected this huge fellow in the act of sneaking up to seise, hi? leg, During the afternoon exhibition at Portage City the tamer was going through the usual performance in this cage, with two men stationed outside with irons rods between the bars of the cage to assist, if necessary, in warding oft attack. The lion had somewhat puczled him, as manifesting a different nature from that of any with which he had dealt, and for that reason he kept his eye upon him bat at one point he was obliged to turn and face the two lionesses as they passed him^leav.nc the.lion to be watched bv the attendants. But the attendants" failed to see* the monster sneaK along the floor. The audieuce were watching more closely, the danger was seen, and a cry of alarm was raised, but it was too late, the monster's jaws had closed on the calf of Lengel's right leg, the teeth met, and Lengel fell to tho floor of the caee. His club flew from his hand as he fell, and was beyond his reach the moment wias one of terrible suspense the spectators were terrified, and the two attendants paralyzed at the result of their carelessness. But Lengel's presence of mind did not desert him. The lion, even in his rage, eould not forget the power of his fallen antagonist, and loosened his hold for a moment, and before the Hons could gather for an attack, the tamer was on his feet, seized his tvbipand attacked his foo, lashing him into tho corner. Leaving the cage Lengel walked to his dressing box, across the ring, where he sank faint from the loss of blood. It was fo.und no bones were broken, but the wounds were so large and deep that the surgeon who dressed them probed theui with his finger and tailed to touch the end.

Lengel has been live times before bitten by his pets, and shows a scarred body, but in every case before his wounds have been from lionesses. This he thinks, is the second case in which he has been intentionally bitten,the other four being accidents, when in their snarls among themselves, they have seized him by mistake.

THE PEOPLE WE LIVE WITH. From the "Back-log Studies," in Scribner, we tract: f, ,,*».

The lasting regret that we cannot know more of the bright, sincere and

genuine

people of the world is increased the fact that all are different from each other. Was it not Madame de Sevigne who said that she had loved several women for several qualities Every real person—for there are persons as there are fruits that havo no distinguishing flavor, mere gooseberries—has a distinct quality, ftlid the finding it is always like the discovery of a new island to the voyager.. The physical world we shall exhaust some day, having written a description of every foot of it to which we caft turn but we shall never get tho different qualities of people into a biographical dictionary, aud the making acquaintance vyith a human being will' never Cease 'to be an exciting experiment. We cannot even classify men as to aid us much in our classification of them. The efforts in this direction art ingenious but unsatisfactory. If I hear that a man is lymphatic or nervoussanguine, I cannot tell therefrom whether I shall like and trust him. He may produco a phrenological chart showing that his knobby head is the home of all virtues, ana tl^at the vicious tendencies are represented by holes in his cranium, and yet I cannot te sure that hb will not be as disagreeable as if -phenologyt had. not been invented I feel sometimes that phrenology is the refuge of mediocrity. iLs charts as misleading concerning characters as photographs, and photography may be described as the art which enables commonplace mediocrity to look like genius. The heavy-jowled qjan with shallow cerebrum has only to incline his head so tbat the lying instrument can select a favorable locus, to appear in the picture with the brow of a sage .and the chin of a poet. Of all tho arts for ministering to human vanity the photographic is the most useful, but it is a poor aid in the revelation of character. You shall learn more of man's real nature by seeing him walk once up tho broad aisle of his church to his pew on Sunday, than by studying his photograph for a month."

ti« ,i PAPER CLOTHING. 1 It isn't a great many years since the American neck was first encircled ov a paper collar, and yet a vast industry has grown out of the manufacture of

Paper

came in, and now we learu that an enterprising dealer, without the least consideration of the rights of washerwomen, has introduced to tho American market whole suits of paper clothing. What may come of this innovation it is impossible to say btitlf the new-spapers, after they become stale, could be used lor purposes of costume it might be a good thing, as by the print lie wore a man's political stripe could be at once known. Liberal Republicans would deck themselves in Tribune cloaks, which could be worn either side out Democrats wouldwrap themselves in World cloaks, as now-a-days a good many el them do in worldly ones Freetliiugers might be happy in Golden Age waistcoats and no end of people could cover themselves with New Vork Herald triple sheets the only trouble toeing that they are too thiu and won't wash. Joking aside, the days of paper clothing are not far off, and when they come—bevfare of showers. 4

FOOD MEDICINE.—Dr. Hail advances a theory that food can be used as a curative remedy equally well with medicine. He relates a case where a man was cured of bllliousness by going without his supper, and free uso of lemonade. This patient rose, he says, after he began the use of this drink, refreshed, and with a feeling us though his blood had literally been cleansed. He*further says that he cures cases oi spitting blood by using salt: epiiepsv and yellow fever hy watermelon ney affections by e«leryj P® fp,i caranOir^eetoil erysipelastpoundedcaran berries applied to the part affected ,n^

in thS markS, and

f„nd„rars

world would thus become healthier and happier/

WIT AND HUMgRr^

The greaten curiosity-in the vtbrld— A woman\PA Why Is a oak oi*a high chimney like an drai^e? yBecfiue it round.

To betStomdBfhe U6n of a partyitJs not nec|ssa% tolttiake a beast of one's self. A brass-fcAnd-cma^s the people of Vincennes, Ind., wouldst they were dead.

In the new postal cards is realized the expression "a penny for your thoughts."

Why is a cow like a locomotive? Because a locomotive has a boiler and a cow has an udder.

Why is an English diplomacy like a wet match Because thffre is more smoke than fira.

When should a dairvmnn use'the letter in place of .* \Vhen he wants to make butter better.

foUn-

An Alabama parent didn't favor his daughter's lover, and bet him five hundred jdollars he wouldn't .marry her. The parentlost/

W: .'4 Wv ».

The only prisoner in tho jail at South Bend, Ind., is indignant at the circumstance. He says he wasn't condemned to solitary confinement.

An Irishman, just landed, was asked what party he belonged to. "Party is it?" he said "I suppose you've, got a government?"'Thin I am again it?'

Never miud the obituary, Judge," said a Montana culprit when the court became pathetic in pronouncing the sentence "let's fix the the Iiuae foi the funeral." v*, o.

In Iowa thero blooms a newspaper which describes a fire thus: John Baldwin, of (Grundy county, owned a defective flue. He doesn't own it now. Loss §600.

How many men are thero ov ye's down there shouted an Irish overseer to sorno men in a coal pit, "Five," was the answer. "Well, then, the_lialf oy ye's come up here."

After the close Pf

wedding ceremo

ny recently solemnized at Lebanon, Ind., the bride took her seat at the piano, and Vras requested to sing "Put Me in my "Little lied/'

I don't care much aboftt the bugs," said Warmley to the head of a genteel boarding house ."but tho fact is, madam, I havn't the bloqd t$ sparg you see that yourself."

A "medium" in London was caught up by spirits, carried half a' mile, and taken through a wall into a dining rbom.- She says she otfn hardly credit what happened. Neither can the public.

What are you digging there for asked a loiterer of three men 'who were digging a trench in the street. "Money, zur," the answer came. The man wfetched the operation until the joke got through the roots of.hi^^ajr^ and then moved on.

Your honor," said a lawyer to a judge, "every man who knows me "knows that I am incapable of lending my aid to a mean 'cause." "That is so," said -his opponent, "tfye learned, gentlomen never lends himself to a mean cause, he always gets ca^h down."

Rye looks good. Ameuia Times. Ana it tastes good, too.—Danbnry Tifties. In a horn.—Be*kshire Courier. Whereupon the Tildes remarks We meant ryo bread, bujt is evident that the uiind of the Courier man is wandering toward the stuff that blteth like a serpent and stingeth liko, & bookkeeper. hi &V&4 itrj-al & .»J.

Mark Twain says ''speaking of Iowa, reminds me of the way I got the money to pay for liiy ticket and pay for tli&t fellow's supper. I bet a fellow a dollar that I could tell htm how much water to a quart went under the railroad bridge over the Mississippi at Dubuque in a year. He bet, and I said two pints to a quart. woh the bet, but after all that supper Xtas au awful swindle. If the city aidn't.settle faster than its coffee did, its old settlers' club would be a failure, and city too."

A KENTUCKY PHYSICIAN FRIGHTENED FROM His PROFESSION.—A young Kentucky physician, wh© had been regularly "Educated for Ills profession, was called to the bedside ol a patient tbat. he had been attending with his best care for some time, buj, who obstinately grew wOrse and worse, until now th'fe end seemed very near. "Doctor," ssiid the sick man, "I am dying— I am certain I am dying, and I believe you have killed me." The doctor seemed to think very earnestly for a moment or two, and then quite gravely "Y( and seriously replied: "Yes, I see that you are dying, and on reflection, I believe that you are right—I believe-that I have killed you but, I have taken my oath that, if God will forgive me for having unintentionally murdered you, I wul never murder another—I will never give another dose of physic

rofessionally so long as I live." And kept his oath he at once quit mcdicine" entirely, turned his attention to the stuay of the law, obtained license in due courtse, and," after a few years' successful practice, became one of the most eminent Circuit Judges of that day in Kentucky—now nearly forty years ago.—[Frankfort (Ky.) Yeoman.

WHAT WAS IN A FREIGHT TRAIN.— Some idea of the consents of a train of freight cars may be obtained from the following description of a recent smashup on the Pennsylyania Central: The mass ot material in the wreck presented the greatest possible mixture. There were a piano and a coffin, seventy-five sewing machines, hundreds of coats torn and mussed cases of ready made clothing, socks, hosiery, neckties, hats cases of silks and other materials, kegs silks and other ipaterials, kegs of car* bonate of soda, two tons ot plaster of Paris, boots and shoes, lemons and oranges, an immense quantity of shoe pegs, a car load of paper and envelopes paint and varnish, mackerel, pickles, canned fruit, needles, molasses, soda fountains, sugar, smoked herring, cocoanuts,nutmegs and household furniture—in fact almost everything foi stocking a store or for general uso in housekeeping. -a

NEVER SATISFIED. "Nice weather for corn!" said a minister up the valley to one of his parishoners, the other day. "Yes," said the old farmer, but bad for grain and grass." A few days later they met again. "A fine rain we had yesterday," said tfie minister good for grass and grain." "Yea," waa the reply, but awful bad, for corn.

A California editor thus eases hi«kself: "Dolly Vardenism, viewed from a philosophical standpoint, is the rea zation in material form of all tbat & most loud, glaring. odd.gAody, gl^r lag and outlandish. It is the ©*P£ sion of along concealed yearning at barbaric display a spasmodic exhu» tion of an hitherto unexpected instinc* of savagery and anti-civilization.

THE LITTTE PJDOPLE. Jt.i little girl who waspisked to define leading, said, "It^s hearing with tho eyes instead of the-earsi' a

The greatest 'toain snnihilalor,''in existence is Sftid jro beta boy who has smashed l^WO wjmoifa^this year,

Charle^," saldf a foiid mother to her son, "you are into that jam agaii\." "No," replied the pet, "you are wrong* ma the jam is into me."

Papa—I'm sorry to hear, though, my dear boy, you have failed again in obtaining a prize this quarter. "You must be very wooden headed. Dear BoyYes, pa, I'm afraid I'm a chip of the old

block*.—[JUdyp..-^I„^W,MW

At? juvenile party, one little fellow, rejoidinjg In the splendor of his new clothes, sidled up to another with the triumphant remark, "You ain't dressed as I am." "Well," retorted the otbet, "I can lick you, anyhow."

A youth stepped into a bookstore and asked: "What kind of pens do you sell here, mister?" "All kinds you young rascal,'? answered one of tho clerks. "Do you?" said the little chap: "then give me teti cents worth of pigpens." -Jh

A minister made an interminable call upon a lady of his acquaintance. Her little daughter who was present, grew very weary of his conversation, and at last whispered in audible key "Didn't he bring^is amen with hiiu, mamma "What is that children?" asked a young pastor, exhibiting to his Sunday School a magic lantern picture of a poor sinner, clinging to the cross towering out of stormy waves in mid-ocean. "Robinson Crusoe!" was tho instant reply.

A little boy the other Jday was put into long trowsers for the lirst time. Some one asked him why he had changed. "Well," he replied, thoj boys made fun of me, and I wasn't] going to wear my pants at half mastl any longer."

A Detroit woman took down the paj rental rod the other day to punish hej son for telling a falsehood. He read! the newspapers, however, and knouj that corporal punishment will break his spirit, so he checked her by stabbing her in the shoulder with a butcr er knife, and then ran away.

Can you tefll me tho road to reon-. ville?" asked a Yankee traveler ofal boy whom he met on thq road. "Yes,I sir," said the boy. "Do you seo ourj barn down there?" "Yes," said be.| "Go to that. About throe hundred^ yards beyond the barn you Will lind lane. Take that lane, and follow, along about a mile and a half. Then you will come to slippei'y elm log. You b6 mighty keerful, stinger, about going on that log—you may get into the branoh—and then you go on up until you get to the brow of the hilL there the roads prevaricate andy°u take the left hand road,

until vou get into a big plum thicket and when yob get there, why th«i~ thefi—then-—" "What then ?h "Tber, stranger, I'll be hanged if you aiti lost!«'

THOUSANDS

and keep

that?

LOVELINESS ON THE INCREXSB.—A marked increase of female lovelinesst is tho eye-delighting- result of the immense popularity which Hagau's Magnolia Balm has obtained among the ladies of America. Complexions radiant with snowy purity and tinged with the roseate hueof health are commonly "met with whenever it is usea. For tlio sallow and unwholesome appearance of the ftico and neck, which utterly counterbalances the effect of any personal attraction the oWner may possess, it substitutes tliAt clear, pearl-like complexion which is such a transcendant cbarnl in woman, and renders tiio roughest skifi as soft as Genoa velvet.

No one is moro astonished than tho person vising it at the marvelous transforination wnich it effects in these particulars.

CASTORIA—is a scientific'vegetable preparation a perfect substitute for, and more effective than Castor Oil, and is pleasant to take. It cleanses the system in a most remarkable manner does not distress or gripe^ ibut operates when all other remedies have failed. It is certain to supersede Pills, Castor Oil, Narcotic Syrups, and all other purgative and exciting medi«inos. TheCastoria contains neither Minerals, Morphino nor Alcohol. By its eiuolient, soothing effect, it assimilates the loou and produces natural sleep particularly adapting it to crying and toething children. It cures Stomach Ache, Wind Colic, Constipation, Flatulencv, Croup and kills Worms. Make your DrngRist send for it he will always keep it, as every family must have it. It costs but thirty-five cents a bottle. ^,6-4t.

HAPPY SHIFTLESSNESS.—A traveller over tho line of the Alabama & Chattanooga Railroad say* that in all the I nitea States there can hardly bo fouim a more shiftless, worthless and unreliable population than that through central Alabama on the line of ^e.ne,^ road. Even hay and corn Iiayo to brought from north of the Ohio all the way here to feed stock.

The

SPEAK

.-Vegetino13 ac

know led ged and recommended ^y physicians and apothecaries hit purifier and' cloaiw"'1 £5 ret discovered, and

3, 7 POU* ffWWJg&UoM•

ifinifwBML^i'iiiir„, ii^-raSaPifeii

1* !i

counti}

produces hardly anything. J'

has a week's corn ineal and ahead he is happy, aiid/an aftor hunt the week outOrdonoflii"Si is about as bad. -,rr .x*—————_

its praise who have Ieen rest health.

ssmea&k

I4-

great way* toward a Tornado.

lUil tfnh

'75

revolutions,

ho. 2,

vr.raec.3«ai

iwnootiiest,

anu IV

tfcf best In every waj.

-8 horse or 10 horse. Theoare Of fitted °rdow"- Warranted «ey at Jones Jones, Terre-Haute,