Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 2, Number 48, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 25 May 1872 — Page 2

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that falte er step, an Mt«ep stair

tii

mi»rr|gn nabwr

nan

'ijnoone cou at this fee man than she

s?««of

r!,,

anted

ybsn^-v kPP 7

aln*0*t t»ee

'Tlie face I loved look oat to nur With all It* happy, old time 'There on the door that once swung free golden hoar to welcome mefflSi,''

Some grief or gladnw* bringing, .."J ii dusty shreds, that float and fall

jLtiWrm (town lixmti+Ui jrwnl not, can not enter there The dusty floating eotowebs chide me SThelr curtain drawn before the door *Tliat checks my entrance as before

The shadows, stillness, all aerlde me.

iMv blinded eyes my feet are stayed,

•:iM heart Is once more unafraid, My tears the shadows banUlu "The cobwebs gathered on my heart IBy sorrow's rain are swept apart,

\A "Mr foolish fears will vanlsl Jm

jK&fh- Dear heart," I murmnr tlier with !*sari,

•fn all the busy coming years "Ph Is r6om shnlt b* nrrpfto*ei •iForevermore Its door hhull tH' NSf^ft open wide to welcome me

iets

will

open wide the long-shut door. step across the ecbolngfloor,

And swinging back the shutter, !The mellow summer moon IooXhIu, .A If my lonely heart to win

From thought* 1 cannot utter.

Wh»?n up th«e stain my feet shall falter.'

Mia&t v-tt

Miss Higgins' Man,

0 mk 0 l#i»

oi ft JjV TAnOMNiF.

,1'or thirty years Miss Higgins had 4i©oked under her bod every nigbt, and had never found a man there yet, still **ho looked. Whether it was fear that INM^impelled that deathless research, or a '^fatality that was beckoning her to her late, I "know not. It would seem, how+«evor, to be the former, for she had often *.* beeu heard to observe: "That ef all the abominations on earth, a man is the dTiiost abominable." indeed, at th» informal tea drinking ^mat the allied forces of Chesterviile, the :ihree Misses Wheeler and the two Mis^sos Jones, she had often excelled them in the withering _tone with which epeat: "Man! man!" and la breathe greater defiance

It was at one

these tea parties that they bad entered into a solemn compact that, in ,«eyent of Woman's Rights giving either .of these allies sovereign power over tbe -.nation, an Eastern law was to be by *&hem Inipiortod and Improved, and bus ••'^bands buried with the dead bodies of heir wives.

As Eunice Higgins well remarked -vT'iat would put an end to widowers pretty lively." And with this remark .the ltyson flowed, and tbe wassail went •fn—with such spirit, that Aurelia Wilder, tbe most radical, added another "Silausft: "That the children of widowers should be throwed in too, and not be a botherln' other women." This *vas also well received.

Now if any one thinks Miss Eunice iliggins was a woman devoid of virtues traces, I pity them—

igglns was a woi a th«y are so utterly mistaken. She had assisted a drunken father through the world, till he made his exit—sustained and supported a feeble mother—and three or four children older but more helpless than she, till the mother went home to her reward, and the ohildren had found flourishing homes for themselves, with the exception of the eldest son, who had followed his father's footsteps, litorally. Indeed, when one contemplates tho specimens of manhood she iiftd been most familiar with her averson to tho sex does not seem so wonderful. She was now shrewd eyed, hut good and kindly looking. No home was brighter than hers. No farm i)'tter managed.

Tho night on which commences my humble history, Miss Higgins went to her room in unusual goodhumor. She had had a toa party. Tbe allies bad long been presont, and pdmlttod unanimously that such fragrant tea, such snowy biscuits and honey, such golden butter, such cakes and sweetmeats had not beon partaken of that season. The scono of her benign victory rose before her as she took oil the little switch of hair at the back side of her head, and pensively rolled it up ere she put it in the top buroau drawer.

She saw again tho sinking sun shining in, through her house plants in the window, upon tho crimson drugget of the dinihg-room the snowy tea-table with its silver and pink sprigged china the admiring faces of her friends as they partook of her delicious food. Hut one memory disquieted her: "She almost mistrusted her lemon extract was losing Its strength—the frosting on the fruit-cake didn't seem to be flavored quite high enough." But this haunting manner was softened by the thought that "she could got a new bottle tojaienow."

By this tiino she was arrayed in her long white night-dress and night-cap. !be foldod up every article of clothing, ««d laid it down *»t right angles she looked up her breast-pin and then imji*lled by fste. she calmly advanced to the side of the bed, and raised the snowy valances—g»ve one shriek, and Ml backward on the carpet, hitting her head b*dly as she did so on a chairrocker. There was her man under the bed

Miss Higgins had often fancied how "Hhe would awe such a robber, such a burglar, with her feajlews and seareting glances bow she would defend her property with her life, I/Ot us not be loo nard with her—she is not the only one of us who has found that it is more easy to dream of great achievements than to accomplish them. She Is not the only one who, at the first shock, has shrieked and tumbled down before adverse fate."

But Kuniee Higgins was not one to •w ither away before a calamity. Not long did she lie there but as short a time as it was when she lifted her head her man confronted her. He was a very little man, indeed, not more than seven years old, and small at that very (rood-looking, and well-clothed, although exceedingly dishcvoled and uncomfortable in appearance. "How cam® vou here, under my toed?"

This was the fin»t question, but it was repeated before he answered, with drooping head and glances. "rVe runned away." v* "Run away flrom where?" •'From our folk's bouse,"

"Who is par folks *}««Father. the dialogue terminated tod

Eunloe Higgins becoming snd-

L' deulyoonacious that a night-gowa and •hi-oaD w«re not the proper ralmant 4hlohtoentartain eVen amail a tlM i_ ik 1 rit

Out la the pleasant aittiag-room the warm light of keroaeoe

ipt Im/I Johnny kit bMi

tried with bis father, because he wouldn't let him go to a circus, 4frat he had run away.

iright

two hen's feathers. Miss Higgins was very neat, but where Is the feather-bed thai will riot "occasionally shed a feW

ber good heart, taught her that what Jber uian needed now was a good supper and a bed. But in the morning the Question again vexed her. What was she to do with her mwa—should she advertise him Again she questioned him in the sunlighted «dining-roojn as he ate his excelleut-breaklust.

Whereabouts do your lolks live—in what place?" He looked up mildly at "her, with a largo piece of peach-pie midway between his plate and mouth, and answered, obediently:

over every

lhu#

Siie asked these questions with some relenting of heart, for already had the childish charms of her man won upon her, and it was with great relief that she heard the decision of Aurelia the most radical of the allies. "No! keep him here." Suchachanee was seldom vouchsaved to the allies to teach one of these

men—widowers—a

lesson they would not soon forget. "Punish that wretch, that unnatural widower, by saying nothing about the child. Let him think he is lost let him hunt him up the best way he can."

The youngest Miss Jones—she was only forty, and naturally timidana an-

rehensive—suggested that "it would just like one ot' these men to eome right here to Miss Higgins' after him. There wasn't anything that they hadn't the face to do. It would be jest like one of 'em to walk into her sittin'room."

Here Miss Higgins remarked "She would like to see him walk into her house. He wouldn't stir a step beyond the hall, and as for that stair carpet she was going to take it up and cleanse it anyway."

This remark, which warmly applauded, terminated! the conference. Johnny did not seem averse to the arrangement. He was at the age when bodily comfort overshadows the mental. He appeared to have a great deal of affection for his father, but there was a Bridget,at the very mention of whose name he almost gnashed his teeth.

She was awful—she had shaken him, pinched him, pulled bis hair." Eunice Higgins' warm heart almost melted within her at tho recital of his sufferings.

A week passed away, and dally had Miss Higgins' man gained upon her affections. She was the youngest child of her parents, and had never known the delights of childish society. She had dwelt so long alone, that to have that bright m-uily little face opposite hers at the breakfast table looking out of the window, hailing her return from her short absence, his merry innocent prattle and ringing laugh, was all the more agreeable to her than she would be willing to acknowledge. •She grew lenient to the boyish nerve of her man for tho best of boys have unregulated moments looked benlgnantly upon him as he capered in the garden paths in startling proximity to her marrow-fats and cluster cucumbers. She ravelled out along stocking, and out of one of hor second best Morocco shoes made a ball for him and when he lost it in her best meadow she herself boldly breasted the clover waves side by side with him, in pursuit ot it.

So that beantifhl week passed away and one morning Eunice Higgins was called from her snowy dairy room by.a ring at the frent door.

Opening it she confronted a pleasantlooking man of about her own age, Woman's unerring intuition lold her "this is he." Here was the opportunity to wither him with hor glances. But how could she when he looked so much like Johnny, Just such a pleasant manly look to his face. Eunice did not wither him. "I have been Informed, Madam, that there has been a boy, a runaway boy here—is it so

Instead of the prnssie add and vinegar that she bad designed to have in her ton* the likeness of her man so softened h** voice, that it was only pleasantly asddtrious, like a ripe lemon, and she replied

Yes,«r, it is." Is he h*re now?" Yes, sir, he Is." His anxious eyes so brightened at this, that she entirely forgot her carpet and her enmity, and actually invited him In.

No sooner was he seated that Johnny rsn with eager eyes. "Father! "father!"

He threw his arms aroand his father's neck, and kissed his bearded lips, and then, in his delight, be turned and threw his arms around Kuaice Higgins' neck and klased ber with the same pair of lips,and still Miss Biggins could say, in tne dying words of the^reai statesman: 'r

I still live!" Mr. Dale waa a man of means and leisure. He thoaght tbe *ir of the little town exceedingly good. He obtained board fbr the summer for himself and Km at the little hotel. Bat in all Chesterviile, no air waa so pare and salubrioua, he thought* aa the air of Miss Eunloe Hlggine* parlor, ooneeqnently he sought that bealthfm retreat often, Johnny going before like an olive bvaaoh.

Day after day did Mr. Dale tread over ifc»

Iiiii—ijiiIH

parity

and they

cleansed." Hoar sit upon her parlor pnrined with soa

«T

he said

It was early in the morning, and he hs(i git a ride and had ho he mm Alter tbe walked on the twilig for some in Miss with her stood there^Cden with good things, he bad helped himself generously, and then, as he heard ber step suddenly outside, guilt which asakfs cow»rds ©f us all, drove him fnlo tme ijed-room/ and as the step came nearer and near«r, Buier the bed. His nmial Mgm had overpowered him, and he b§d fallen asleep and was awakened oijly by her screams as she discovered him.-

ere was no one

had gone "a piece" i. But the tea-table

Miss Higgins bad found the man she had been looking for for thirty years, bntnowthe question urose. was she to do with him? As he had no designs oi»n her property or her Uffe, she could not lecture him therefor. And as

«,.u

"Our folk's house." "Who is your folks?" „•.

uif

"Father." The allies were called in the stifflystarched inquest sat on Miss Higgins' man. The additional result of their that there was the father of Miss Higgins' man belonged to that corropt sbau

questioning being 7 evidence that the

anu shameless sect—widowers! Miss Higgins trembled. "Had she not better dispose of ber man at once Was it not in away encouraging widowers in tbeir nefarious doings, to harbor these small men

hkr ear-

TKRRE-H\TJTE SATURDAY. EVENING MAIL MAY 25,1872.

When I say that she did not immediately burn out the spot with lunar caustic, you may be prepared for the result.

Tbe next week Eunice Dale, late Higgins, was ignomlnlonsly ex from the allied ftoce4ro" har^natne washed on tin son,and still more burning_indigna-

for her man and his father, and rejoicing: in tfei* .JO»tent,: and wr own, st^e cared not for the "allied" proceedings. And jthus endeth the story of Miss Higgins? Man.

for har man and his father, and

[From the New York 8un0

PL TMOXJTTTXTH URCH STARTLED.

A MA.KJAC WOJIAK'S STBUOOfeH WITH AS U8TJEB—AN CNU8DAL SUNDAY

MOKXTNQ EXCITEMENT ON BROOKLYN

HEIGHTS#* As the Rev Henry Ward 'Beecher gave the last JUyuui in the morning service yesterday, a woman about ,,lorty years of age wearing spectacles, and attired in a faded dress, a well worn brown Bh&Kl, and a bonnet of the last century, over which was thrown a green gauze vail, mounted a bench in the vestibule near the main entrance, and flourishing and old cotten umbrella, began haranguing the immense gathering. "Oh, you old free lover," said she. "here you are in your flue silks and satins, You came here to worship the god of free love, ftnd yon care nothing for the Saviour of mankind That will do, Mr. Beecher. [The great preacher had just resumed hlsse^t.] "You can't fool me—you're a free lover and so am 1. Free-love is the—."

Here the venerable usher approached the now frantic woman and requested her to keep quiet and depart. The woman refused to move, and flourished her umbrella more wildly than before. "Don't put a hand on me, old man. Git, git," said she, poking her umbrella at tbe usher. "Come down, will you? Ifyou don,t I'll call the police," said he, nervously twitching his fingeri.

The would be preacher twirled the umbrella about her head, and with a shrill scream swooped down on tbe nervous usher, and throwing her arms around his neck, gave him a hearty smack on the cheek, exclaiming, "Thank the Lord the old general kissed me."

By this time a vast multitude had gathered in the vestibule and street, and the scene provoked loud laughter. The usher could not disengage himself from the womans grasp. She forced him to the ehurch entrance, the blushing official using all his strength to free himself from her. "Do let me go," cried he as the ladies and gentleman began pouring from the church. "Please let me go or I'll call the police."

With one vigorous effort he freed himself from her, and shouted, "Away with you begone." "Oh, ho, General that's it, it is?" and she made another dive for him, but the venerable gentleman escaped her clutches, and was lost in the crowd.

USELESS MEMBERS OF THE BODY. It is one of the favorite notions of the new school of evolutionists—those who believe the highest form of animal development had a beginning as low down as life ever was when vitality first anneared. in ascendinetbe upward d, in ascending tbe upward scale, Vave gi adually lost some or their organs, while new ones have appeared, according to their demands in the sphere they are to act.

On this theory, as soon as man became a biped a tail was of no further use, and being neglected, it received less aad less nutrition through the circulation, and tiually disappeared entirely. This is the way our ancestors got rid of their tails, on the Darwinian explanation.

By the same law, if birds were to cease to fly, they will loose their wings by degentracy. No doubt tbe penguins, becoming indolent and prefering an easy life without exertion on the rolling waves, thus lost their once broad pinions, on which the first penguins floated in the air as their degenerate pr~geny sail on the sea.

The moral, therefore, is this—keep all our members actively employed. If we relax, we may lose our hands, our feet, or both, and to our surprise find ourselves" turned into seals or an ourang outang with a tail.

HOW GREAT SALT LAKE WAS DISCO VERED. A party of beaver trappers who had ascended the Missouri with Henry and Ashly found themselves In pursuit of their occupation on Bear River, in Cache, (or willow) Valley, where they wintered in tbe winter of 1824-25, and in discussing the course which Bear River ran, a net was made between two of the party, and James Bridger (who is still alive) was selected to follow the course of the river and determine tbe

This took him to where the river passes through tbe mountains, and he discovered the Great Salt Lake. He went to the margin and tasted the water, and on bis return reported tbe discove.y, the fact of the water being salt induced the belief that it was an arm of the Pacific Ocean. In the Spring of 1826'our men went in skin boats around it to discover if any streams containing beaver were to be found emptying Into it, but returned with indifferent success.

The Tenacity of Trcth .—When a nation as clear-headed as-the Americans once become convinced, from long experience and observation, that an article possesses superior excellence as a medicine, not all the preposterous clamor of all the worthless nostrum venders in the universe can shake their belief in its efficiency. Truth is a very tenacious thing, as these worthies are beginning to discover. Plantation Bitters has too firm a hold upon the popular eateem to be in the slightest degree effected by the cold water diatribes which tbe advertisers of fermented slops, "without a particle of alcohol," are so fond of launching against alcoholic preparations. The public knows very well that this peerless renovant and tonk does contain splrlta.lHit It does contain spirits, but it Is also known that they are of the purest and most wholesome description, vis fine old St. CroU, the most active and beneficial dlfioser of its remedial and invigorating propertiea throughout the system which could possibly be adopted.

omut nature reveals itself leas by Ita rieki oaaalUation.— 1

BT MARK

r, at both

sound Hig-

saloon. He had been the ing helpmeet, whom he rded without the formof a divorce. He had held a high the fire department, and

ality or a a position in

nic, shot himself through the bod] his throat, and jumped out of a foarstory window and. Dr6klh his neck .and after due deliberation the jury, sad and tearful, but with intelligence unblinded by its sorrow, brought in a verdict ofdeato "by the visitation of God."

What could the world do without juries? Prodigidus preparations were made for tbe funeral. All the vehicles in town were hired, and all tbe saloons were put in mourning, alL the municipal ana "fire company flags were bang at half-mast, and all the firemen orders ed to muster in uniform? and bring tji^ir maqhines duly draped in black.

RegretYbl resolutions were passed and various committees were appointed among others* a committee of one was appointed to call on a minister—a fragile, gentle, spiritual new fledgling from an Eastern theological seminary, and as yet unacquainted with the ways of the mines. The committeeman, "Scotty" Briggs, made his visit.

Being admitted to his presence, he sat down before the clergyman, placed his fire-bat on an uqfinisbed manuscript sermon under the minister's nose took from it a red silk handkerchief, wiped his brow and hea'ved a sigh ol dismal impressiveness explanatory of his business. He choked and even shed tears, but with an effort he mastered his voice, and said, in lugubrious tones: "Are you the duck that runs the gospel mill next door "Am I the—pardon me, I believe I do not understand."

With another sigh and a half sob Scottv rejoined: "Why, you see. we are in a bit of troublq, and. the boys thought may be you'd give us a lift, if we'd tackle you, tbat is, if I've got the Tights of it and you are the head clerk of the doxology works next door." "I am the shepherd in charge of the flock Whose fold is next door." "The which "The spiritual adviser of the little company of believers whose sanctuary adjoins these premises." scotty scratched his head, reflected a moment and then said "You rather hold over me, pard. I reckon I can't call that hand. Ante and pass the buck." "How? I beg pardon. What did I understand you to say "Well, you've rather got the bulge on me. Or maybe we've both got tne bulge, somehow. You don't smoke me and I don't smoke you. You see, one of the boys has passed in his checks, and we want to give him a good send oft, and the thing I'm on now is to rout out somebody to jerk out a little chin music for us, and waltz him through handsome." "My friend, I seem to grow more and more bewildered. Your observations are wholly incomprehensible to me. Can not you simplify them some way At first I thought perhaps I understood you, but now I grope, would it not expedite matters if you restricted yourself to categorical statementsof fact unincumbered with obstructing accumulations of metaphor anji allegory

Another pause and more reflection, Then Scotty said: "I'll have to pass, I judge." "How?" "You've raised me out pard." "I still fail to catch your meaning." '•Why, that last lead of yourn is too many tpr me—that's the idea, I can neither trump nor follow suit."

The clergyman sank back into his chair perplexed. Scotty leaned his head on his band, and gave himself up to reflection. Presently his face came up, sorrowful but confident. ••I've got i,t now, so's yon can savvy," said he. "What we want it a gospel sharp. See "A what!" "Gospel-sharp, parson."

,pee than by ita recoveries, as getting aroand that, I don't reckon, a ahows the native vigor of tho -*ow,ti we oant fat jwo to help plant ilion.—fly. 1* Clarke. hlm~"

"Ob! why did you not say so before? I am a clergyman—a parson." "Now you talk! "Vou see my blind, and straddle it like a man. Put it there !"—extending a brawny paw. which closed over tne ministers small hand and gave it a shake indicative of fraternal sympathy and fervent gratification. "Now we're all right, pard. Let's start fresh. Don't you mind me snuffing a little, becoz we're in a power of trouble. You see one of tbe boys baa gone up tbe flume"— "Gone where

Up tbe flume—throw'd up thp

sponge, you know." "Thr "Thrown up the sponge?" "Yes—kicked the bucket—" "Ah—has departed to tbat mysterious country from whose bourne no traveller returns." "Return Well* I reckon not. Why pard, he's dead." "Yes, I understand." "Oh, jou do? Well, I thought may be you "might be getting tangled once more. Yes, you see he's dead again." "Again! *Why, has he ever been head lefore?" "Dead before? No. Do you reckon a man has got as many lives as a cat? But you be% he's awful doad just now, poor old boy, and I wish I'd never seen this day. I don't know no better friend than Buck Fanshaw. I know'd him by tbe back and when I know a mm like bim I freese to him—you bear me. Take him all around, pard, there never was a bullier man in the mines. No man ever know'd Buck Fanshaw, to back on a friend. But it's all up. ain't no use. They've scooped him "Scooped bim "Yes—death has. Well, well, well, we've got togive him up. Yes, indeed. It's a kind of hard world, after all, ain't it? But, pard, be was a rustler. You ought to see him get started once. He was a bully boy with a glass eye! Just spit in his face and give bim room according to his strength, and it waa just beautiful to see him peel and go in. He was tbe worst son ol a theif tbat ever draw'd breath. Pard, he was on it. He was on it bigger than an Injun.!" "On it? On what?" "On the aboot. On the shoulder. On the fight. Understand? He dldnt give a continental—for anybody. Beg your pardon, friend for coming so near saying a cuss word—bat yon see I'm on an awful strain in this palaver, on •ooonnt of having to cram down and draw every thing so slid. But we've got to give him up. There aint any

the funeral baequies is 1

Pre#

lilt at "Oba*

with a bilei shirt and a plug hat—how's that for high And we'll take care of you, pard. We'll fix you all right. There will be a kerridge fbr you aad whatever you want yon just 'scape out Mi4we'll tend to it. We've got a shelitatg fixed up for you to stand behind "in No. l's house, and don't you be

you

More reflection. "I reckon you have stumped me again, pard. Could you say it over once more, and say it slow "Well, to simplify, it somewhat, was be, or rather had he been connected with any organisation sequestered from seoular concerns and devoted to selfsacrifice in the interests of morality?" "All down but nine—set 'em up on the other alley, pard." "What did I understand you to say?" "Why, you're most too many for me, you know. When you get in with your left, I hunt grass every Every time you draw you fill don't seem to have any luck. have anew deal, "How? Begin anew." ••That's it." *i "Very well. Was he a good man, and—" "There—I see that don't put np another chip 'till I look at my hand. A good man, says you Pard, it ain't no uame for it. He was tbe .best man that ever—pard, you would have doted on that man. He could lam any galoot of his inches in America. It was him that put down the riot last election before it got a start, and everybody said that he was the only man that could have done it. He waltsed in with a trumpet in one hand and a spanner in tbe other. He sent fourteen men home on a shutter in less than three minutes. He had that riot all broke up and prevented nice before anybody ever got a chance to strike a blow. He was always for peace, an? he would have peace—be could not stand disturbances. Pard, be waa a great loss to the town. It would please the boys if you could chip In something that would do him justice. Hereonce, like when the Micks got to throwing stones through the Methodists' Sunday School windows, Buck Fanshaw, all of his own notion, shut up bis saloon and tooK a couple six shooters and mounted guard over the Sunday School. Says he, "No Irish need apply!" And they didn't. He was the bulliest man in the mountains, pard he could run faster,Jump higher, hit harder and bold more tangle-foot whisky without spilling than any man in seventeen counties. Put that in, pard, it'll please the boys more than anything you could say. And you can say, pard, that he /lever shook his mother. "Never shook his mother?" "That's it—any of the boys will tell you so." "Well, but why should he shake her?" "That's what I say—but some people does." "Not people of any repute? "Well, some that averages pretty soso." "In my opinion, a man tbat would offer personal violence to his mother ought to—" "Cheese it, pard, youve banked your ball clean outside tbe siring. What I was a drivin' at was that he never throwed off on his mother—don't you see? No, indeedy. He gave ber house to live in, and town lots and plenty of money and he looked after her and took care of her all the time and when she was down with tbe small-pox, I'm damned if he didn't sit up nights and nuss her himself. Beg you pardon for saying it, but it hopped out too quick for yours truly. You've treated me like a gentleman, and I ain't tbe man to hurt your feelings intentional. I think you're white. I think you're a square man, pard. I like you, and I'll lick any man that don't. I'll lick him till he can't tell himself from a last year's corpse! Put it there!" [Another fraternal band-sbake—and exit.]

WIT AN

bat's it going ess, you himself, 1 ain't ilver on the box

Eliza

for sh Th a bill taught schoo

Put .Buck

on't sell a clam..

was St4r in the mines. You ca draw it too strong.' He never could stand it too see tbtngs-gbing wtong. He's done more to ittake this, towtf in it..--I've in eleven wanted regulating, he wasn't man to go to do

t4Oh,

fain"

regu-

Catholie,

but it didn't make no dlflfercrnoe'When it came down to what a man's rights was and ao, when some roughs jutfiped the Catholic boneyard aad started in to stake out. town lefts in it, he went for 'em And heeleaned 'em, too! I was there and seen it myself." "That was yery well, indeed—at least the impulse was—whether the act was strictly defensible or hot. Had deceased any religious convictions? That is to say, did he feel a dependence upon or acknowledge allegiance to a higher power?" #rtf v*

time, but I Let's stt

The obs'quies were all tbat "the boys" could desire. Such a marvel of funeral pomp bad never been seen in Virginia. The plumed hearse, the dirge-breathing brass bands, tbe closed marts of business, tbe flags drooping at half-rnaat, the long, plodding procession of uniformed secret societies, military battalions and fire companies, draped engines, carriages of officials, ana citizens In vehicles and on foot, attracted multitudes of spectators to the sidewalks, roofs and windows and for years afterward the degree of grand eur attained by any civic display in Virginia was determined by comparison with Buck Fansbaw's funeral.

A Man anu his Daughter Killed bt an Elwjtric Ball.—During tbe rain tbat fell hereon last evening from a cloud from the southeast, fell an electric ball, striking the north side and west ena of Mr. David Thomas's house, killing hi31 and a grown daughter. All the family, oonsisting of nine persons, were in the room at tbe time, oat none except the lather and daughter were even stunned by tbe sbock. The young lady was sitting near the end of tbe boose when tbe lightning came through and killed her instantly. Mr. Thomas waa sitting, leaning against the north side near a window. The particles ot electric fluid passed in above the window, to bis bead and eat his hsir on fire ao shocking him that he died In a short time, though the fire waa extinguished by his son and water applied to him freely to effect his recovery.

Wos to falsehood! it affords no relief to the breast, like troth it gives us no oomtort, pains him who forgea like aa arrow directed back aai voooda the

Yount

ublio

A fond wife encourages her husband when he comes home early in the morning by calling him the "latest and best thing out." "If yoar wife does abuse you, vou have the pleasant consciousness off "knowing that shla will not permit apy pilQ we to do8o.' "-r

your

A curate having been overhauled by the bishop for att$*ding a b»Jl, the former" replied "Mv ford, I wore a mask."-"

well,** returned the

hishop, "that puts a^aaw Jaipq on the af-

A good deal of sport has been made of-the old Woman who kissed her cow, bat what should be said of th6 thoupagds of young woinqii wlip have k}ssea great calves t). "She wore a Dotly Varilen, the night when first w»met her chip hat, like a garden, with posies gay as sell A! thumping big blonde waterfall, when next we* met she wore her skirts spread out from wall to yrall, and dusted off the floor.",

An old fisherman was oaught in his dugbut on the Potomac by a,furious gale. He paddled to the shore'as fast as he could, soared to death, paddled and prayed for mercy—-prayed xor mercy and paddled until his canoe struck the beach. Then he turned to the gale, shook his fist, and cried "Blow, and de d—d! Who's afraid of you

-sS

The Portage Lake Mining Gaaette records the following society conversation Yeung Gentleman—"The assembly here this evening, Miss far exceeds Mr. Van Anden's anticipation.^' Young Lady—"Hay, w'at ver say Young Gentleman—(voioe a key higher)—"The assembly here this evening far exoeeds Mr. "Van Anden's anticipation." Young Lady (looking in wonderment)—"Wat yer say Young Gentleman (slightly rufiled)—"There is a'd—d big crowd ht lere to-nigbt, Miss ng Lady (brlghtenihg up}— •Yas-sir-ree-bob, there is." tr

BILLINGS ON "OATS" area singular grain, perhaps 1

should say plural, because there is more than one of them. They grow on the top of a straw about 4 feet 9 and one quarter inches hi, and the straw ia holier.

The straw ia interesting for its sackshun. Short pieces of it, about ^inches or so, dipt in the buswotn of sherry cobbler will sucshun up the entire cobbler in four minutes by the watch.

I have never tried this, but I kno lots ov young and reliable men, who stand around ready to prove this, if sumbody will fetch on the cobbler.

This sucshun is said to be a dead sure thing. Oats is sharp at both ends. Tha resemble shu pegs in looke, and build, and it is said are often mistaken for them bi near-sighted horses and shumakers.

I don't intend this remark as any derogativeness to shutnakers in the lump, for I have olten sed in my inspirited moments, if 1 could not be a shnmaker I would like to be a good lawyer.

Oats area phunny grain, 8 quarts of them will malte even a stage borse laff, and when a stage horse laffs you may kno he is tickled sumwhare.

This is the nature of oats as a beveridge, they amusse the stummick of the hoss with their sharp ends, and then tbe horse laffs.

Oats are worth from 40 to 76 cents a bushel, akording to their price, and ain't good for much except to tickle a hoss.

They will choke a goose to deth quicker than a paper ov pins, and onnything that will choke a goose to deth (I mean on the internal side ov tho thrut) is, to say the least ov it, very skarse.

All you have to do to raise tbe oats is to plough tho land deep, then manure it well, then sprinkle tiie oats all over the ground, one in a place, then worry up the ground with a drag all over, then set up nltes to keep chickens and woodchucks out of them, then kradle them together with a kradle, then rake them together with a rake, then bind them together with a band, then Btack them up with a stack, then thrash them out with a flail, then clean them up with a mill, then sharpen both ends of tbem with a knife, then stow them away in a granary, then spend wot days and Sundays trapping for rats and mice.

It ain't nothing but phun to raise oats —try it. One ov the best ways to raise sure crop ov oats and tew get a good price for the crop is tew feed four quarts of them tew a Shanghi rooster suddenly, and then sell the rooster for 25 cents a pound, crop and all.

A Nicb Spirit to Have AnotJND.—A California boy died, and his mother, who is a spiritualist, tells people that since the death of her son she has had several Interviews with him. While she was preparing the corpse for burial he appeared and said that "he did not think ho would make such an ugly looking corpse," adding other jocular remarks. She continued that during the whole process of dressing him after death he was present in the room and cut an antics, such as Jumping around and standing on his bands. When ailve he was always in good spirits and very Jovial.

iu ii give* as no rho fonea it, and ed by a godfllea arahar.—fGoetbe.

Tub Canton Keapci and Mower. Don't buy till you see It. It Is the rimplept In conntructlon. It the llgliteKt and strongest. Warranted te silt or no sale.

Jowkh &. JOKES.

Tiik Canton Reaper and Mower. It can't on any account be beat. It can be bought on easy terras. A cg

repair* free the first year. All wheels In the centre.

KiiVATHiCinton Reaper and Mower. SAT 11

I'lraft

Cower Is all In the cent"

Power Is all In the centre. Side Iraft Is Impossible. The dropper is new and simple. No machine is equal to It. Call at

Is Impossible.

yPxfUper Is new and simple.

Jones Jones. Jo

DIVAThi Canton Reaper and Mower. SAYllltlssom

ia something new. It has only wheel*. It is a Dropper Mower. Sold only by Jones

YESife

g|^||TH« Canton Reaper and Mower.

It has high wheels. Highest cutting machine In use. it la not high In prioe. See it at

^^^*^Jonas Jones.'

CANTON!

CANTON! CANTON!

is thenameof tha aewBeaporand Mowar. at Jonas A.Juuss.