Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 2, Number 42, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 13 April 1872 — Page 2

(For the Saturday Evening Mall.] JKrWK

ONLY

KNEW

W BTJM.%1 If we only knew. If #e only knsm. Whsre evSry p4t& wOuld le*d untS Tbatthe flowersbf hofe which beckon US

Would Cade before fruition1* daWBL. T* If we only knew, If we only knew An the noon-day ran dissolve* the dew /*S« the Joys we seek In an earthly form

Would melt as the harrying yean go on

if we only knew, If we only knew As the waning moon brings Oi^the new ^Bo the vanishing powers of youth and strength

Will bring us to oar rest at length. If we only knew, if we only knew The trials we are passing through Would give as a brighter entrance tbferii

Increase oar strength" would b« our prayer.

itmi

NEWS AND NOTINOS.

TboCalifornia earthquake is becoming a trifle chronic. Eight inches of snow at Wenon», '^Michigan, last Sunday. ^1 There are three hundred religions papars in the United States.

Some of the lakes of Switzerland are ''-over one thousand feet deep. The papers represent that laborers are "*very scarce at present in Canada.

An Indianapolis machine makes flower-pots at the rate of nine every 'minute.

The students of Ann Arbor expend *^in that city annually not less than $300,000.

Henry Ward Becoher, the San Prancisco papers say, will visit California this spring,

i-(

Boston ians are gorging themselves with strawberries, which they can get for 50 cents a piece.

A Mexican volano, which has been grumbling for two years, has broken ^broken ont in violent eruption.

Israel Day, wholesale merchant in Chicago, blew out bis brains on account of losses in the great Are.

Most Russiuns do not know anything about carpets, and prunella gaiters are never seen outside of the large cities.

Mrs. Woodhull failed to lecture in Lvnn lust week, on account of sickness. We congratulate the citizens on their •escape.

The New York Mail states as one of "the advantages of being intoxicated," & the ability to jnmp from railroad trains ^without being killed.

When the Boston schools were reorganized in 1790, girls were only admit'f^ted in the summer months, when there .were not boys enough .to All them.

Our science reformers compute that, were it not for diseases, wars and famines, there would not be standing room for our people on this continent for the -year 3000.

Eight young women of New York were licensed by the State Medioal SoHcioty, last week, to go forth and look-at people's tongues and "Ha! indeed!" at visit. if

Woodhull and Claflin are going te •Europe. If the ship tbey sail in ever intends tosink in the middle of the Atlantic, that'll be the time for her to do

The Sioux City Times is full of notices of partios g*ing to the Blaok Hills look for gold. The Times asserts "'jniost positively the reliability of the reports of gold In that locality.

A trapaze performer fell from his ele- *.

tJ*vated

position while exhibiting a dar-

t- ing feat, in Momphis, the other night, and was precipitated bead foremost to tho floor below. He was severely injured.

Tho Chicago Are is not all quenched yot. The other day some workmen "'-were surprised by the bursting out ot a

sj!l«me

after th^r had gone down several feet through a mass of frozen brick and 4 -jWt*r.

tm }t

Philadelphia^ are dyiugat the rate of live hundred a weok. As that city '''-'contains but eight hundred thousand ^Inhabitants, it is easy to see that a certain nuiubor of week|i,he.r population will become extinct.

Mrs. Grant and Miss Nellie are going to Europe. The General would probably go too but can not leave very well 'Just now. He may find It easy to arrange the matter after tho 4th of next

March. A Kentucky entomologist has kept two vigorous musketoes under an inverted tumbler for six months without food, and they remain In a healthy condition. Thin clearly proves that their annoyance of mankind is entirely uncalled for and not at all necessary to their sustenance.

Owing to an accident in a Maysvllle, Kentucky, distillery the other day, a quantltv of partially made whisky waa turned Into a pond near the building. A number of cows drank of It freely and became intoxicated, from the effects of which a number of them -have since died.

A citizen of Lexington, Kentucky, was slightly bitten by a dog, and soon after feinted on seeing his shadow in gthe water. There was no hydrophobia in the case, but be had beard that the shadow was a sure sign, and several '"physicians had to be nailed in to soothe •his nervous perturbation.

Tho Rev." George W. Vlele, of Fort ^Miller, who wrote an article some time since for the Glens Palls Messenger, and expressed tho opinion that it was .wicked fbr a clergyman to play croquet, was arrested about two months ago in

Massachusetts fbr forgery, and has just had his trial and Is sentenced to one year's service tor the State.

A Milwaukee woman got mad arid had some boys arrested because she could not have a quiet, sociable funeml at her house, without the boys would sit on the fbnce In front of the house and sing and whistle, "When Johnny Comes Marching Home," and "Put Me in My LittleBtd." She said it hurt her feelings, as well as being unpleasant for the deceased. The boys were reprimanded. *.•• $##*.

Manufacturers all over the eotntiy are putting up their prices in spite of the nsavy protective tariff. What is the cause of it The paper manufacturers have raised their prices materially, nail manuftKturers have advanced fifty cents per spikes ditto, §nd the other day a meeting of iron manufacturers of Pittsburg ordered an ail ranee. Why Is it? There B»f some reason for paper makers, as

STSl. k.T^ To. S-book, y. k°«. ot mm tor UK, Uon

ITEMS ABOUT WOMEN. Women are naturally prejudiced against mice,

%ith

Nellie Grant* Is gdljng to Btfij* Mrs. Borie.

Mrs. Bland lias removed htrself and the Ladles' Own to Chicago. A brawny fhmale Teuton does duty as constable in atorestern village.

Four-fifths of the ten thousand school teachers in Massachusetts are women.

Miss Charlotte E. Ray is the first woman admitted tu the bar in the District oi Columbia.

The Illinois Industrial University has 339 students, of whom 44 are young women.

There is a woman in Washington territory who has shot and killed eight Indians with her own hands.

The two leaders of Parte fashion recently had the temerity to_ appear at a ball without chignons.

In Russia women are permitted to act as druggists, and modern Borglas flourish proportionately. "Come where my love lies dreaming" and see how she looks without any paint on her face.

Catharine Donovan, of Springfield, Massachusetts, has lived for the last seven months on water alone.

The heavy weights of the woman's rights movement have established a paper in Chicago called the Balance.

Twenty-five young ladies of St. John's Michigan, have resolved to prosecute all persons engaged in the liquor traffic.

A Jewess in Cleveland gave birth to six children last week and soon after expired. The children all died immediately after birth. ,»

A Philadelphia house will soon publish "A Diary of a Pickpocket," written by a lady in the trade during her incarceration for plying it.

The Autocrat of the Breakfast-table says that "the brain women never interest us like the heart women—white roses please less than red."

An observing woman says I never dress much for the play, because every one Is looking at the stage, but no one is more particular at church than I."

A woman in the Lenawee, Michigan poor house has been almost constantly on ber knees for sixteep years, being engaged in perpetual prayer.

A Presbyterian pastor in Muncie, Ind., through the columns of the Cincinnati Herald and Presbyter, gives Miss Smiley a standing invitation to occupy bis pulpit morning and evening.

One Madam Moore of Cincinnati challenges Weston or any other man to walk for $1,000 a side. She claims to have walked 100 miles in 23 hours, 28 minutes and 60 miles in9 hours, 50 minutes.

Mrs. Hoss, of California not only brought down a 220 pound buck while out hunting rec« ntly, but carried the hindquarters home herself, which gives point to the old comparison— 'Strong as a hoss."

An Iowa woman lost ber thimble last November, and on Palm.Sunday found it in her stocking She would not have foun it then had she not mistaken the day, and, under the impression it was Easter, made her annual change of hose.^.- |'t

A lady ot Richmond, Va., intending to be married, recently telegraphed to Paris for silk stockings, to be madexto to order, with her name worked in tbem and she got them—the price being, in greenbacks, $42 per p%lr.

A western woman, aged 26, has been sued for seducing a boy ot 16. The parents of the unhappy youth brought the suit and claimed $1,000 damages, but, as the lady offered to repair the wrong bv marrying the seduced one, they were non suited

A patriotic matron of Maine has done her utmost to remove the reproach of New England by giving birth to three bouncing boys, and the admiring residents in her vicinity have made up a purse to reward her herculean labor.

A ChibaKO widow has contrived to acquire no less than fl,700 of the relief funds by dint of disguising herself adroitly aud possessing several places of abode. The sacred number of seven stoves claim bor as mistress in one locality and as many as half a thousand blankets in another.

The Supreme Court of the United States having decided that a husband can recover damages for the loss of his wite proportioned to her usefulness and capacity to earn money, a Boston man whose spouse perished in a recent railway accident was allowed by the discriminating jury exactly six cents.

The resson there are so many of old maids in the world Is that women are too fastidious, and are always looking out for their beau Ideal, who is of course perfection. They should remember what the poet says:

She who think* a ftraltlessman to see. Thinks what ne'er was. nor te, nor e'er shall be," and should therofore take one who is moderately gifted.

Mise Van Lew the Richmond postmistress, having dlsharged for some feminine reason the superintendent of the letter mrriera, the latter espoused the cause ot their chief and deserted in a body, so that the F. F. V.'s residing in the State capital were for some days deprived ol the feast of reaston furnished by their epistolary correspondence.

The Mormon women are taught to believe that eternal felicity in the paradise proml««d by Brivham is not theirs unless they are the helpmate of some saint. Accordingly when a virgin daughter of Israel falls sick and hears the flap of the wings of the sngel of death she straightway senda to the nearest male and gets herself "sealed" or married to him with the utmost dispatch!

Guileless males should beware of Memphis. Unwary travellers who slight there often near a sweet voice exclaim, "Darling, I'm so glad you've come," while a soft arm clasps Itself around the willing victim's neck, a warm, palpitating form is pressed agioast hlajups linger on his. Then follows a little scrwrm of dismay, a summering apology, and a hasty retreat. Tbe delighted recipient of these caresess immedisfely begins to weave a little romance, with the fair unknown for its heroine, and dreams or spending an eternity in the "counterfeit presentment" of the above performance hat In the discovery that his watch, pockruddy

TFWRF-HATTTF SATPR'»*Y KWN1NH MAr. APRIL 13. 1879.

Hero is soineiuiug ih*t salve for those women, the sex's rights and tbe women. jA Book ot Legeoi Testament has juat been )»U— England, awl one of thesi legod# to the wflect that Adsnl, when crtated^rss like a beast, coars% rude, InAmpate, but that irom Eve ne reowved pia upright position, his polish a&d spirituality. Now you have it. gentlemen there is no gainsaying this.

advocate

A very interesting story is being published by our exchanges to the effect that a St. Louis woman, hearing that tbe boarding honse of ber lover wss in flames, and that he wss in an upper story unable to escape, rushed frsntically to the spot, seized a ladder and mounted it, despite the entreaties of ber friends. Rushing into the burning building she soon reappeared with her beloved in her arms. As she descended, tbe Ud-Jerbent *nd swayed beneath tbe double burden, and the increasing flames caught in her long "crinls" and and crinoline, but the steamer played on her unceasingly, and amid shouts wLich rent the skies, preserver snd preserved reached the earth in safety. That is a very thrilling little story, and it is a pity that It lacks the element of truih. We imagine we see ». young woman ru*h into a burning house pick up a man and carry bim down along ladder, and the chanees are that if a steamer "played on her unceasingly," the heroic youn womon and her spoony and helpless lover would have been knocked from tbe ladder In a jiffy, and the drenching ot her chignon and crinoline would have taken all the romance out of the affair and then, another thing, St. Louis young women have more sense than to go plunging into a burning building in order to "tote" out an addle pated youth who hasn't vim enough to help himself.

ODDS A SD ENDS.

close line—"The End." In debtedness—a hotel bill.' The best place for the blind—the sea side.

Is it possible for a great window to suffer roem-atic panes? $ Admiration is tbe daughter of ignorance.

Motto forsewing-machines—"As you sew, so shall you rip So slowly does laziness trayel that poverty soon overtakes it.

When is a bow not a bow When it is a bow-knot. Cheerfulness is the best hymn to the Divinity.

Dies are engraved now in Caesar' time the die was cast. What is better than a promising young man? A paying one.

Men, like books, have at each end blank leaf—childhood and old age. The man who never made a mistake never made a discovery.

When is butter like Irish children' When it is made into little Pats. T-i be dextrous in danger is a virtue but to court dauger is a wenkness.

Is it a mistake to suppose that the sun is t-upported in the heavens by its beams? "A tree is known by its fruit." We presume that the boot-tree may be judged by the corn it produces.

Note for Darwiu: In time the mulberry tree becomes a silk gown—and a silk gown becomes a woman

Shakspeare would never have asked "What's in an aim?" if he had been hit on the head with a brick.

A Wisconsin man reported that he oouldn't find a word in the dictionary, because "the blasted book hadn't got an index."

What's in a name? There is a town in Iowa with tbe delightful name of Cascade, the people of which have to go five miles for water.

CO URTINQ IN SIBERIA. When once the young beau among the Koraks becomes infatuated, be makes known his passion to the father of his "affinity," and expresses his desire to strive for her hand. A kind of contract is immediately entered into, by which the young man binds himself to the father as a servant lor a term of years, at the expiration of which time he can have the pleasure of learning whether the daughter will have him or not. In the manner, if the father be the happy possessor of a beautiful daughter, he uiay have half a dozen men ready to do his bidding at one time. When then the term of servitude expires, one of the larger ybuths is selected, and all the old women of the place, armed with sticks and pieces of seal-thongs, are stationed in the pologs suspended around the room. The daughter then appears, thickly clad in skin garments, followed by ber lover, when a race ensues around the inclosure, the contestants dodging about among the pologs. To win bis bride, he must overtake her, snd leave the print ol bis nail upon her person before she can be rescued by I he old women, who, during the race, Impede thb lover as much as possible by beating him with sticks, and tripping hitn by seizing his legs as he ruabes by tbem. The advantage is all with the girl, and if she does not wish te became the wife of her pursuer, she can avoid him without difficulty. Ou the contrary, if she likes him, she manages to stumble, or makes known her wishes to ti old women, who then only make a show of impeding her pursuer. Sometimes the lover is so despt ralely smitten, that, just after being toiled, he returned to tl father, and binds himself for another period of years for tbe privilege of making another trial.

THE DOLLY VARDEN HORRORS. Tbe calico ones came at $15 and f2J. I saw a fat woman getting into one that was seal lopped ail round very deeply, and then a strip of the stuff stitched on serosa tbe bottom of all tbe scallops, making a sort ot lattice woik, s\ich ae you seeon fttney chicken coops. This particularly lovely Varden was of cretonne, turkey red ground. The figare (extremely neat) represented a temple In grey and white with irreen foliage round about. Sitting on a bans was a Grecian matron teaching a young man without any trowsershis A. B. C, from a boolf on her knee. This infant

school showed up In full strength between the shoulders. The aide seams st the back took oQ tt»e scholar's hind leg and trimmings and most all the temple. Awful mutilation waa the result of a sleeve, tout the landsoape entire oame out all over the skirt.

Then,oh. Moees! the Vardeo hat that's a wide-brimmed Lsghorn "fiat." A pile of pink rnaee adorn the tep and front, sad the left side and the back ot the brim are caught up with a broad iHr#" bow of blue ribbon.—[N. Y. Correspondence St, Lonia SefmbUoan.

I CONN VBIAL1 TIES.

License to marry oosts ibc dollars in Quebec^

A viftociMM 'THfas wo»arf%as jtf vorced and cfi-mairied witbin live mgj|Utes.

Dr.

W. H:

Alton skipped oat firom

Blootnington. Illinois, a few nights sinee with an

another man's wife.

Utah may have its plural wives, observes Mr. Quilp, but other parts of the country have very singular ones.

A well-known comic writer says he would rather be a widower every two years regularly, than to be a lonely, miserable old bachelor for uinety days.

A New York wedding cake weighed forty pounds. It wss in the form of a three-story house, with a sugar bride and groom coming out of tne front door.

A girl at Council Bluffs persianiig'in permitting the attentions of a man against tbe wishes of ber mother, was tarred and feathered by that lady for her unfllial conduct.

The woman who is "worth her weight in gold" isn't such a great match after all. The average feminine avoirdupois would only balance ab«||t$80,000 in the precious metal.

It is said that tbe more married men there are in the world the fewer crimes there will be. An unmarried man is but halt of a perfect being, and it requires the other half to make things riMht and even.

In Easex county, Virginia, the two sons of a man's second wife married tbe two daughters ot the same individual's third wile, and thus spared the trouble of writing two unnecessary names in tbe step-tather's will.

A matron, under cross-examination as a witness, turned up her nose at the insinuation that her daughter was inclined to wed a widower. "Very likeiy, indeed," said she, with a toss of her heitd, "that my daughter should marry a second-hand man

An English writer advises yo ung ladies io look favorably upon those engaged In agricultural pursuit, giving as a reason that their mother Eve married a gardener. He forgot to add, however, that the gardener lost bis situation in consequence of the match.

A certain bachelor, well-known in Pottsville circles, was heard to say the other night, when trying vainly to make his own bed, that by tbe "greathomed spoon" he'd accept the first girl that made him an offer. All this during leap year. Girls, go for him.— [Miners' Journal.

A Brooklyn lady, whose husband has an unpleasant habit of railing at her, has bit upon tbe plan of calling in her servants when he begins to let out his temper, and then turning to him and saying sweetly, "Now., my dear, please go on with your remarks.' He doesn't go on, at least not as he began.

It frequently happens that tbe wife who most tries her husband's temper in days of prosperity, is extremely cunning in the art of consolation when affliction overtakes him. In the buoyant atmosphere ot bright days, all her whims and caprices bnd room to ex-

Ker

and. It. takes the dull ones to bring perfections»to the surtace.

One who assumes to know, says that womanly despair for the loss of a lover endures three months in the winter and two in the summer tbe second month, a lady becomes interested in tbe new stvle of hair dressing the third, she burns her love-letters. Twelve months afterward she hears of her former lover's marriage, and wonders *how she could have loved a man with a red mustache."

Jones wid his wite were always quarrelling about their comparative talent tor keeping a fire. She insisted that just so surely as he attempted to re-ar-range the sticks with the tongs, he put tbe fire out. One night tbe church bell sounded an alarm, and Jones sprang for bis fire-bucket, eager to rush to the conflagration. "Mr. Jones," cried his wite as he reached the door. "Mr. Jones, take the tongs tit sS S

A wretch broke off an engagement for the following cogent reasons: "You know a easels a fearful nuisance, and I always carrv my cigars looselin my vest pocket, 'the necessary amount of affection toward Molly was awful rough on 'em. Never came away from that* bouse but every one of 'em was smashed. Couldn't expect a fellow to waste good tobacco that way, could you

Delaware lassies take their lovers to see a tombstone in a country ebnehyard in that wee state, which, according to inscription, was erected by thg orders of Izates Anderson, who 'diea a bachelor," in order to "warn all young men from imitating an example of celibacy which had yielded to himself n6 other eventual fruits but disappointment and remorse."

Miss Lizzie Martin and Mr. Walter Craig of Kansas City, Mo., were engaged to be married, out tbe wedding was unavoidably postponed by the sudden and alarming illness of the lady. It becoming apparent that she could not reaover, the marriage was celebrated at the bedside, and in an hour thereafter tbe bride expired in ber husband's arms.

A law of England enforced in the seventeenth century: "All wonren, of whatever age, rank, profession or degree, whether virgins, wives, or widows, that shall, from and after this act, impose upon, seduce and betray Into matrimony any of bis majesty's male subject*, by scents, paints, cosmetics, wasbea, artificial teeth, false hair, Spanish wool, iron stays, hoops, bighheeled sboes or bolstered bipe, shall incur the penalty of the laws in force against witchcraft, sorcery, and tbe like, and that tbe marriage upon conviction, shall stand null and void."

Francisco pair recevtly elopiboat

A San

ing obartered a tugtx man, intending to be made one flesh on the bosom of the Pacific. Unfortunately tbat body of water belied it* name, and when tbe would-be groom was aak-

?lewhether

1 his intentions were honoraconcerning the loving and cherishing of his female companion, his answer for sundry reasons wss delivered over tbe ship's side. The a bout-to be bride meantime had ftilnted, and tbe clergyman felt constrained to follow the example of tbe groom. Tbe consummation of the osremony wss finally made, when all tbe parties from very weakness were forced to go through tbe servioe on their knees.

A kind bearted but illiterate liverystable keeper who oould not bear to see hoes* ilUrsated, used to say with perfect sincerity an*% as he believed, with accuracy My bostibillty to them as abuses bosses was born unto me, snd comes as natural as brssthinV

WIT AND

Dandy (twshoemaker cure slsfeet in my mlkefe" I uron'l

rlngHji

ere?'

a cure,

to heel

Christopher Ootumhon fras a man. laid a negro orat**». Snocrossed him one day, 4nd den he crossed an ocean. •We ascertain the qualities of a bell by ringing it. A young man had better ascertain the qualities of a bells before ringing her.

A little girl asked ber sister what was chaos, that her papa read about The other replied tbat it was a great

f»ile

of nothing, and no place to put it n. There are two reasons why some people don't mind their own business. One is that they haven't any business, and tbe other is that they hsve no mind.

*f..

Naturalists are free to doubt that bears sustain themselves in winter quarters by sucking their paws but we know for a fact that unllcked young cubs, when tbey lure W Jleed their pas. •.*

A chAnge of bed linen is an event of such rare occurrence in the domestic economy of a certain hotel in a neighboring city, that it is triumphantly heralded on the bill of fare: Clean sheets to-day."

An Indiana schoolmaster Istely received the following note Cur, ass you area man of no legs, I wish to intur my sun in your skull." Which being interpreted, is: Sir, as you are a man of knowledge, I wish to enter my son in your school."-

Here, waiter," said a gentleman, as he was about leaving a hotel, here's a dollar for you. I give it to you because you have attended to my fire so well." ^Thank jour honor may von live long, and may I have the making of your fires hereafter.

A seedy and unhappy-lookiug man, entering a revival meeting in Mississippi, took a seat near the pulpit. The clergyman, noticing his forlorn appearance, stepped up tonim and asked it he was a Christian. No," said he, I am the editor of the village paper."

A little bov inquired at the Augusta (Mainfe) postoffice recently if there was a letter for Chester Pillsbury, and while the clerk was lookihg for the letter, the little fellow, thinking to help him in his search, said, "He's married now, and I s'pose they put mister onto his name!"

There is a man in Buffalo who has registered a vow never to make a "humane society" of himself again. He took off his coat and leaped into the canal to save a lady from drowning, when a pickpocket stole ten dollars from his coat, and the rescued woman was mad because he pulled her chigoon off in getting her out.

A negro preacher at a Georgia campmeeting told bis hearers that they could never enter heaven with whisky bottles in their pockets, and urged them to bring 'em right up to the pulpit, and he would offer 'em a sacrifice to de Lord." Tbe consequence was tbat tbe good shepherd was in the evening so overcome by the spirit as to be unable to preach.

A close-fisted old fellow, in treating a friend to some liquor, poured out a verv small drink. The fatter, taking the'glass and holding it above his head, remarked very skeptically: "You say this is forty years old "Yes," replied the host.

Then," replied our friend, all I have to say is, it is verysm»Jl for its age."

Jones was traveling with his wife, and for a freak was so gallant in bis behavior to his cara sposa tbat madauie grew uneasy, and remonstrated against bis attentions as too marked for public observation. "The d—I!" said Jones "we're married, I suppose?" "Yes," said the lady, "but, judging from your deportment, folks will think we ain't." "Well, what of it?" said Jones. "Why, not much, certainly, for you," said the careful dame—"you-are a man but we women have our characters to take care of." Jones was shocked into propriety for the rest of tbe journey.

Several years ago there was such a tremendous freshet on tbe Illinois river that it was for a long time referred to as "the flood!" During a lawsuit in Peoria, an old man named Adam, living in a l.ttle hamlet on the river known as Paradise, was exa'nined as a witness. "What is your name?" was the first question asked him. "Adam, sir," said he. "Your name is Adam, is it? Well, where do you live?" "In Paradise, sir." "Oh, you name is Adam, and you live in Paradise, doyou Well, bow long bave you lived there "Ever since tbe flood, sir," replied the simple old man, whose words were drowned in a roar of laughter, in which the court, jury, counsel and spectators all joined. •*j) DAM YOUR EXPENSES.

Mr. Bones, of the firm of Fossil, Bones A Co., was one of those remarkable money-making men, wnose uninterrupted success in trade bad been tbe wonier, and afforded the material for the gossip of the town for seven years. Being or a familiar turn of mitfd, he was frequently interrogated vn tbe subject, and invariably gave as the secret ot success, that he "minded bis own business."

A gentleman met Mr. Bones on the Assanplnk bridge. He was gazing Intently on tbe dashing and looming water as It fell over the dam. He was evidently In a brown study. Our friend ventured to disturb bis cogitations.

Mr. Bones, tell me bow to make a thousand dollars Mr. Bones'continued looking intently at the water. At length be replied

Certainly. Here you may learn tbe secret of making money. That water would waste away and be no practical use ot anybody, but for the dam. Tbat dam turns It to good account, makes It perform some useful purposes, snd then suffers it to pass slong. Tbat large paper mill Is kept in constant motion by this simple economy. Many mouths ire fed in tbe manufacture of tbs article of paper, and Intelligence is scattered broadcast over tbs land on the sheets that are daily turned out aud in the different processes through which it passes, money is made. So it in the living of hundreds ot people. Tbey make money enough. It. through their bands every day, and at tbe year's end tbey are no better of!. What's the resson Tbey want a dam. Their expenditures am increasing, and no practical good Is attained. Tbey want tbem dammed up, so that nothing will

PMSS

THE LITTLE PEOPLE.

A baby girl knelt dotMi to pTSV One mora. The mother salii^ "My love, why As wi ever say," "i

Givensour (Jwy bread 1 Why not ask farjt week or more?" The bate beiyaier head Io thoagHrui «SOod toward thefloos? "We whit it ficeeh she said. "If you do not give me a dime," said!?? a young hopeful to bis mother, "I know a ooy who's got the measles, and I'll go and oatch tbem."

A youthful novice in smoking turned deadly pale and threw his cigar away. "Oh, dear ho said, "there's some'in' in tbat cigar that's makin* mo sick." "I know what it is," said his companion, pulling away.........44What?"' "Tobacksr."

The candor of childhood is beautiful. Tbe other evening a voung fellow,much in love with an uptown beauty, called upon her. but was told by the servant tbat the young lady was not in. "Yes she is said allttle fivo-year old, running out, "but she hates that ugly ," Tbe young man retired permanently.

Here is some of Charley's poetry: "Dood-for-nossin 'ittle son, Papa tells me jes for fun, I duess—tor, ma, oo say

I dood for sumsinall ee day." 4t And so you are, my precious one, Full of mischief, love aud fun Good to fill our hearts with joy, Our darling little blue-eyed loy! A schoolmaster tells the following good one: I was once teaching in a quiet oountry village. The second morning of the session I had time to survey my surroundings, and among the seanty furniture I espied a threelegged stool. "Is this the dunce block?" I asked a little girl of five. Tho dark eyes sparkled, the curls nodded assent, and the lips rippled out: "I guess so, the teacher always sits on it."'

Young Capias, who is in the law school, gave his little sister an orange the other day, but took the poor child's appetite entirely away by remarking as he did so—"I give you all and singular my estate and interest, right, title and claim, and advantage of and in that orange, with all its rind, skin, juice, pulp and pips, and all rights and advantages therein with full power to bit^ cut, suck or otherwise eat the said orange or give the same away, with or without its rind, or skin, juice, pulp and pips, anything heretofore or hereinafter, or in any other deed or deeds, or instruments of what kiud or nature soever, to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding."

INTEMPERANCE IN DRESS. A lady named Webber—whether "Miss or Mrs." does not appear—informs a London neswspaper that the objects of the "London Woman's Dress Association," to which we briefly retered a tews days since, are to be carried out in a similar manner to those of the temperance movement. The mention of the mode of action," saya the Graphic. suggests a name fsr the society which seeks to establish nothing less than a temperance movement in dress. There is no doubt that ladlea'attire is at present intoxicating to a terrible extent, not only to the wearers but to all who behold them. The possession ef a pretty 'costume,' for instance, bus been known to get into a young lady's head as completely to turn it and the mere sight of the article may haare tho same effect upon her admirer*. 'I'll in its details the presentstj leof drest-la ftill of danger there can be no moro Injurious stimulants th.m a 'p inlers,' 'basques,' and 'tournureti and the evil consequences of Wiqioring up' with such things as 'ruuhingaT and 'frillings' have been experienced by viotlms without number. In Franco thi alcoholic element In dresa was very strong during the days of the Empire, when the 'fortifying' process was performed to an extraordinary extent upon tbe purest growths of millinery, and few heads were strong enough to withstand the effects. But under tho Republic the dangerous ingredients havo beenconsiderasly diluted,and a healthy taste has for the present obtained the ascendancy. American drinks of all kinds have long been celebrated and trans-atluntic toilettes are notorious for their inebriating qualities wherever Atnurio ti ladies congiegae I, indeed, you are sure to see an awrlul number of 'eye-openers,' 'knock-me-downs,' •pick-ine-ups,'and other frenzied concoetion* of the couturiere and the result Is equally deleterious whether the robe be 'something short' in tbe way of a tunic, or'something long' in the way of a train. Less in France, but remarkably in England and America, tbe coiffure has the effervescing qualities of champagne, and evidently g«ts Into the beads it is supposed to adorn. Lft us welcome, therefore, the temperance movement in this country. It may be tbat we drink to fashionable toilettes only with our eyes but our beads are., are'not always able to st tnd the stimulant, and something In the way of sodawater is sadly wanted to calm the intoxication of the ptr lie taste,"

AFFLICTION

G5SQ

price list.

through their hands with

out bringing something back—or|seeompllsluag a useful purpdse. nam up you expenses, and vou will soon have enough to occasionally spare a little, just like that dam. Look at It my friend,"

OLIVE LOOAK.—Speak

ing of bim remind me of Ids connection with one of the heavy clouds tbat havo gathered tbid year about poor Olive Logan. By all odds the handsomest of the Logan Hisntrs, wan beautiful, golden-haired Alice. Through somebody's engineering, a m-irriage was brought about between Alice and tbis Mr. Albert Aiken. The poor girl went crazed the day of the ceremony, and has been under treatment for that dire malady, insanity, ever since. Close upon tbis diaaster followed the death or Eliza—Mrs. Wood—the lovely woman to whose fond care the sUters owed so much. And last week another of the golden-haired band was taken. Kate Lgan, the youngest but one, ot tbia noted family, died at the residence of h»-r adopted parent, Gen. Logan.— [N. Y. Cor. St. Louis Republican.

JONKS A JONKH have a lame took of oti horse 1'lows and c«n furnish th#*m In any quantltv to dealer* at tan** far la-.kiw any in the market. Uend for

THE low hitch, the patent evener, the square frame, *hap« of th«« handlw*, make the WBIRthe

wiperior to any other walk

ing two-home corn Plow. See it at Jouea A June*. TilR W*IR Walking Two-horse Corn Plow Is the easteat machine in tbe business to sell, because a farmer can st-e for himself tbat he saves the price of It In a month, In money actually paid out for labor.

JOHSS A JOVKK have fall authority from tbe factory to warrant tbe WKIB Cultivator to work as well as a double-shovel, and to, suit the purchaser.

THSbest plowing at our County Fair was done with an old plow and a Holky Atra» hment, such a* Jones A Jone*. Terre-Haute, are selling. The lam*, the old, a woman anybody, can ride and plow with It.

WITH tbe WKIK ctfLlrvATort

one

man will do tbe work or two, and so save the wages and land board of a htred man, which will pay for tbe machine in a