Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 2, Number 35, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 24 February 1872 — Page 6

OUTGROWN.

JOT. IA C. *. DORK.

Way, you wrong her, my friend, she's not fickle her love she has eitnply out35 grown

One can read the whole matter, translating •d her heart by the light 01 one's own. Qan yon bear me to talk with you frankly

There is much that u»y heart would say, And you know we were children togeiner, have Quarreled and "made up In play. fii And so for the sake of old friendship, I venture to tell you the truth,

As plniuly, perhaps an'l as bluntly, as might In our earlier youth. Jflve summers aito when you woeed her, you HUKXI on the self-.saine plane, Face to face, heart to heart, never dreaming your souls could be parted again.

She loved you at that time entirely, in the bloom of her life's early May. find it is not hT fault, 1 repeat it. that she Fdoes not love you to-day.

Nature never ntand» still, nor souls either. Th^y ever go up or go down •And hew has men steadily soaring—but how lias Jt been with your owu

!ghe

has struggled, and yearned, and aspired —grown purer and Winer each year The st irs are not farther above you, in yon luminous atmosphere!

Por she whom you crowned with fresh roses, down yonder five summers ago. Has learned th-tthe first ot our duties to

Ood and ourselves is to grow.

Her eyes they are sweeter and calmer, but their vision is clearer as well Her voice has a tenderer cadence, but Is pure as a silver bell.

Her face has the look worn by those who with Ood and His angels have talked The white robes she wears are leas white than the spirits with whom the has walked And you Have you aimed at the highest?

Have yoa, tmo, aspired and prayed Have you looked upon evil unsullied hare you conquered it undismayed Have you, too, grown purer and wiser, as

the

months and the years have rolled on? Did roa meet her this morning rejoicing In the triumph of victory won May, hear me I The truth cannot harm you. whan to-day in her presence you stood, Was (toe hand that you gave her as white and cleat as that of her womanhood

measure yourself by her standard. Look back ma the years that have fled Then ask, If you need, why she t-lls yoc that the love of her girlhood is dead!

die cannot look down to her lover her love, like her soul, aspires He must stand by her side, or above her, who would kindle Its holy Urea.

•Mow, farewell I Por the sake of old friend ship I have ventured to tell you the truth. As plainly, perhapw, and as bluntly, as I might In our earlier youth.

The Man in the Oyster Boat.

•1 MATTHKW MIDDLKTOX.

"So I'm to understand jou won't have me, Miss Phelim?" Of course, I won't. It's like your Impudence to Mk ine—as though I Couldn't do better than marry an oysierinan I" "1 ain't an oysterman, Miss Phelim, *s you very well know. I'm hired by the owners of the Bold Harbor Beds, to •«tay In the oyster boat, and watch that •ao one steals. Besides, If I was, what ihen? Your own father was only a fisherman—you con't deny that,whichever way you're a mind to twiat it t"

I don't wish to deny it, Mr. Ankers —W6uldn't it I could but it's no use to talk to me—when I do marry, it'll be mme one a little higher up than the man in the oyster boat. You have my •newer—now go!"

I will, Miss Phelim—I'll go by all moans but let me tell you one thing— you aiu't rich. If your father did leave you this house, and tweuty-five acres Of the worst land around Cold Harbor —you ain't rich, not by a long chalk— And the day'll coine when you'll wish vou'd taken Bill Ankers at his word fir he ain't been in tbo oyster boat ibese twenty years for nothing, let me tell you. There's no chance to waste money thore."

What do I care for that laughed the haughty Miss Pheliin, scornfully. "My twenty-five acres are enough for one, bad and all as you try to make thom out, Mr. Ankers besides you're Over forty—an old man!"

And pray, what are you, Miss Phelim?" demanded the suitor, begining to lose his temper. "You're past the third corner, it you're a day—and let me tell you, you stand an amaeln good ohance of dying an old maid if you just thought ao.

Dying ftu old mftld, eh Get out of my liouso, or I'll take the broom to rout" orled Miss Phelim, with a .hmiteiilng gesture.

f.

Hor meaning was too plain to be niinlakon, ami Urmly bolloving in the old adage, "discretion is the better part of valor," the worthy Mr. Ankers beat a hasty retreat, muttering to himself as he went:

She'll live to repent it some of these days—see il she don't!" Time wote on. Miss Phelim certainly grew no younger—and if a wrinkle or tow on hor brow, a strong teudency toward erowsfeot in the corners of her eyos, and more than one gray hair oould be relied on, she was growing older.

Besides this, her mother, a very aged lady at the time of Mr. Ankers proposal had now departed this life—and Miss Phelim found herself not only •ole owner and proprietor ol the little oottaoe on Gunner Creek, but sole tenant as well, and a very lonely, uncomfortable life ahe led. "Oh, dear! sighed she, one raw, windy, March morning. the window, idly watching the Ms*"'

Hook of sea gulls across Cold Harbor Bay for Miss Phelim ooUage was but One mile up Gunner Creek, and the bav was distinctly visible over the flat •alt marshes that intervened, K)h, dear! what alow work this living all alone 4s!"

The more her thoughts dwelt opon 4b* iutyect, the 1110 rediscon tented ana unhappy she became. "I don't see why nobody ever comes to see me," she continued, drumming softly on the window pun ft, "I used to know lota of lolks up in Cold Harbor, onoe on a time 5 but when I aak any of 4bera to ootne and see me, 'It's too far Out of town,' or 'the salt air Is too fresh 4own here,' or some such excuse, No: .Aobody never comes here now—and besides that, the girls are all married Off but me—and the men, too, for that .matter, except one or two old bachelroom I wouldn't have if they

Ors. asked me. world!"

Heigh ho! this Is a queer

At that moment her her eye canght sight ot a man, unchaining a small boat, a short distance down ths creek. "Tbsrs goes Mr. Ankers," she thought to herself, ss she watched him ttush the boat out into the creek, npoor fellow! I treated him rather badly, I think. I might at least, have boon civil to him. He's going out to bis oyster boat," she continued, as h* began to pail down ths stream. Yes, he's Kolng out to his oyster boat. I Wish 1 hadn't refused him quits so

sharp. He wouldn't have made such a

Bum p# very bad husband, after all and anything would be better than the lonely life I've led since my mother's death,'' and she continued to watch the little boat until it disappeared around the bend in the stream. "They say he's worth money," she murmured, as she arose from the window, to prepare her solitary meal "and be don't stay in the oyster boat all the time, either. We might have lived here just the same, and twice as well as I live uow. Oh, hum I wish I'd told him yes, instead of no, I declare I do

A other year passed, and poor Miss Phelim found herself a more decided old maid than ever.

If there had been any doubt as to the third corner, at the time of Anker's pioposal, there was not a particle now for thirty-live woulo hardly have expressed the age of the only inhabitant ol the little cottago on Gunner Creek.

Besides all this, things were really in a bad state with Miss Phelim. Her father bad left her nothing but the cottage, which was a poor litlle concern, and sadly out of repair and the twenty-five acres of ground surrounding it, which were, as Mr. Ankers had said, tbo worst twenty-five acres to be found in the neighborhood of Cold Harbor.

Her father bad made a comfortable living by fishing, but poor Miss Phi lim could do nothing to gain her bre*d but to employ a man to cultivate her litlle fai on shares, and, as the past year had proved a most disastrous one, so far as the crops were concerned, she found herself in a fair way to starve, il something did not soon turn up to prevent.

It was now march again, and the third of a series of wild stormy days. Miss Phelim telt more gloomy and despondent than ever and well she might for dry bread and the weakest kind of weak tea were all she bad eaten that day.

What horrid weather J" she said to herself, looking out of the window. "It's getting dark ..1 ready—an hour too soon—snd not a candle in the house, Ob, dear! I ahall have to sell the place and move Into town, and take in sew ing, or something. I can't live ao much longer."

And, from force of habit, Miss Pbe lim seated herself close to the stove— surely not for warmth, for It had not known fire lor a week or more—and continued to brood over her many trials until long after ngbt bad fallen, and the room nad become too dark to distinguish one object from another.

In the meantime the storm hsd wax ed fiercer, and the wind howled with a spite fill force, unremembered even during Miss Phelim's long resldenoe on Gunner Creek, while the rain seemed to fall in perfect sheets ot water.

At length, weary and sick at hesrt, she arose from her seat, and stepped to the door, to fasten it, previous to retiring: for, without a fire and without a light, she might as well be in bed as in the lonely sitting room.

On reselling ths door, her ears were startled by peculiar' sound, which made Itself distinctly sudibls even above the roaring of the wind. I say startled tor Miss Phelim had heard this sound before, when, years ago, Gunner Creek had risen to the very door-step of the cottage, and its waters had spread far over the flats, toward ths bsv beyond.

Mercy on me!" she exclaimed ss she hastened to open the door: "I do believe the creek is rising! The old house won't stand it now as it did the last time, for even then, father said it was a perfect miracle we were not all washed away."

She peered out into the night, snd, difficult as it was to distinguish anything through the darkness, Miss Phelim could see, to her intense horror, that not only were the waters of Gunner Creek already cn a level with the threshold, but that the whole intervening marshy tract between her house and the bay, was one continuous sheet of water, which experience told her must be rising higher and higher every instant.

A wild cry of terror escaped the lips of the poor woman, as she comprehended the full peril of her situation.

Good Heavens! I shall be swept away, as sure as fate! What can I do Oh, God help me! this is too terrible!"

And she hastily shut the door, as though that could prevent the flood from finding entrance.

She hastened to her bed room,as well as the darkness would permit, and hurriedly put on her cloak.

I'll try the back door," she thought. "Perhaps I can still get off the flats that way, with nothing worse than wet feet,"

Hut Miss Phelim was mistaken the water had risen too high lor escape and after a few vain attempts to wade going deeper 1 nd deeper at every step—she gave it up, and returned to the kitchen, cold, wet and most thoroughly terrified.

The foundation of the cottage had long been unsafe as she very well knew. Escape seemed impossible, and with a irayer for help from above, Miss Pbe,lm seated herself grimly in her chair, and waited—waited for the waters to rise and overwhelm her, with a determination to remain firm, and brave it out, come what would

An hour passed the water stood one inch deep upon the floor. Miss Phelim put her feet upon a chair. A half hour was added to the first the water stood tour Inches deep!

I must go up stairs," said Miss Phelim. "If one is to be drowned, it may as well be above as below."

And she waded through the water, and asoended to the floor above. At length, Just as the little clock on (he mantel was striking eleven, she felt that dreadfnl motion she had so long been expecting, yet dreading to teel—the house began to move!

First it went slowly then It gave a lurch to the right, then to tho left grounded for an Instant, and then wheeled suddenly around and floated off, over the flats, toward Cold Harbor Bay.

Miss Phelim's fear snd terror were beyond all expression still she uttered no cry, but clung with convulsive grasp to the casement of the window, awaiting her fate with all the fortitude of some ancient heroine of the dark sawi which f»'• oould be but death!

Although tl ght was still of inky blackness, anu i&e rain continued to fkll in torrehta, Miss Phelim was sufficiently familiar with the locality over which she wss so strangely carried, to determine from time to time, her posl-

^"NOW I'm near Turtle Bend," she murmured as the house took a sudden turn to tie left: "the current always sets off this way at ths bend. Only quarter of a mile more to the bay. and—" but the sentence died from her lips she oould not pronounce the dr*adfui word.

On, on, drifted the Ill-fated house, when suddenly it seemed to settle deeper by several feet, in the water.

I'm in the bay," thought Miss Phelim. witK a shudder "now my time hss eome! Oh, God have pity!

But, contrary to her expeotaUons^she did not sink.

To

be surs,the house settled

to the level of the floor, on which she stood, and her feet were even under the water but that was all, and she soon realised thst she was being swept faster out to ses.

TKRKK-HA IJTE siftiRM¥ EVEN!## MlL. FEBRUAkY W^i87-3.

Now nothing oould be seen, snd Miss Phelim was just turning from the win* dow to throw herself upon the bed to die, she thought, when a faint light beca/ne visible over the dark waters, apparently at no great distance from her floating prison. She gazed eagerly upon it. Could it be some vessel at .anchor in the bay Miss Phelim thought not, for vessels seldom visited Cold Harbor at that seasou of the year. "What can it be?" she said as the light drew nearer and neater.

All at once she remembered there was but one thing in the harbor that would show a light in such a storm,and that was nothing more nor less than Mr. Ankers' oyster boat—yes, Mr. Ankers, whose love she had so scornfully spurned in the days gone by.

The honse swept on without sinking deeper in the water, and the light grew nearer and nearer, until at length Miss Phelim found herself coming abreast of the oyster boat

What should she do? Should she scream and call to her aid the man she had treated with such contempt? Perilous as her situation was, she could not quite make up her mind to that.

She opened the window—the boat was close upon her. Nearer and nearer and nearer the house approached until the space between scarce exceed ed a yard in width.

A broad ledge surrounded the oyster boat—which was a small sort of cabin or raft—on all sides, over which shone brightly the light in the window of the room where Mr. Ankers kept his lonely WStch. 'ffe'ii'" il-:

A sudden impulseseixed Miss Phelim To pass the boat was death—and, as the House glded by,she gave one wild leap and landed on the ledge, directly un der the window!

The violent rocking of the oyster boat in the storm, prevented her presence from being known to ths man within and Miss Phelim, ss soon ss she had recovered a little from her effort, peeped through the window to see whst her sfore-time lover might be doing.

There he sst, before a little stove in which biased cheerful fire of cosls smoking snd—doing whstt Why, mending bis stockings, to be sure! and doing it as swkwsrdly snd clumsily as would snv old bschelor who ever tried his hsnd'st darning, sinos the world began.

In spite of ths fearful death she hsd just escaped—in spite of the rain which was pouring down upon her with more violence than ever—Miss Phelim laugh ed outright she could not help it, she afterward ssld, lor it was so ridisulous to see that unhappy man,sested in that very cubby-hole of a worn, trying to darn his stocking!

Her Issgh disturbed Mr. Ankers,snd caused him to drop his mending and made a sudden dive—first for the win dow, then tor the door!

Their was no escape—no place to hide. Miss Phelim could not retreat, unless it was to the water—and the result was that Mr. Ankers found her cold, wet and shivering, croughed on the ledge beneath the window

As tor the rest: Miss Pheliin passed a comfortable night before the fire, chatting briskly with her old admirer.

What the subject of their conversation may have been, I cannot tell but this I do know: that, net a great while while after, Ankers drew a part of bis money from the savings bank, where it had so long been drawing Interest, and immediately following that operation purchased one of the prettiest little cottages in Cold Harbor, married Miss Phelim, and lived bappily ever after, to the best of my knowledge and belief.

And I feel free to state that to this day, Mrs. William Ankers secretly blesses that well-remembered flood, which drifted her little house to "the man in the oyster boat!" •.

PALACE APARTMENTS OF THE CZAR'S CHILDREN. Alexander, the present heir apparent, with his beautiful wife, Princess Maria Sophie, and their children, occupy a section considerably removed from the apartments of the Empress. They are fitted up with great taste and appropriateness, but among them all the nursery for the children was uiost interesting. It was a lofty, large, and handsome room with little furnitnre, but containing a good supply ol toys. There were carts, bol by-horses, sentryboxes, sledgeds, wheelbarrows, and soldiers there were also dolls, furnl ture, cradles, wardrobes, china, bowls and ewers, knives and forks—all of plavthings sixe and quality. It seemed pleasant in a palace, where selfishness and coldness are supposed to be at home, to find that the good-natured Czarewich and his womanly and wise wife had one sacred spot, wholly their own, in which holy feelings were nurtured and grew, and where these inheritors of greatness can forget lor a season, the artificial existence by which they are surrounded.

The room appropriated to tho Crown Prince and tne Grand Duke Alexis, and in which they grew up from hoyhood to manhood, is shown to strangers. It is large, is fitted as a study, and contains every thing which a Russian —or any other-prince could require, and some things which mairv princes make but little use of. There are swords, fire-arms, military accoutrements, models of every kind, and some books. These boys, like all their countrymen, were familiarised with war, and learned much of its theory here. Each had a high writing-desk, at which he either sat or stood. The stools in use have the seats made like saddles, so thst the student must mount snd sit with feet In stirrup. Thus, perhaps he gets on faster than if be used common stool, since it requires no great stretch of imsgination to make him, at least, believe that be writes cum*tU oalamo. There was huge model ot an iron-clad ship-of-war here, occupbing a whole side of the room, so completely snd beautifully rigged that the boys could sit at home ana become profound in the use of nsutioal phrases, and familiar with all a ship's gear. Altogether, this room was of paramount interest, because it only showed how the dukes had been educated, but the wisdom and pains that had been taken in doing it.—[From "The Palace and Tombs of the Csars," In Feb. No. of tbeOverlaod Monthly.

MARK TWAIN'S new book, "Roughing T» is nearly ready from the press or ths American Publishing Company of Hartford. It is dedicated to Calvin H. Higbie, of California, as "an honest man, in memory of the curioua time when we two were millionaires for ten days." Ths book is principally deseriptive of the silver minin« fever in Nevada. The sotbor says in hia preface: "There is *good desl of informstlon in the book. I regret this very much."

[From the Han Eranrtaeo Chronicle.] TELKORAPHIC TJUCKS.

An Amusing Episode at a Hotel Break' fast Table. Two young men, telegraph operators, board at one of our leading third-olass hotels, and being ot a somewhat hilarious disposition, find great amusement in carrying on conversation with each other at tne table by tickiug on their jlate with knife,fork or spoon. Por the .nformation ot those not acquainted with telegraphy, it may be well to state mat a combination of sounds or ticks constitute the telegraphic alphabet. And persons familiar with these sounds can converse thereby as intelligibly as with spoken words. The young lightning strikers, as already stated, were in the habit of indulging in tabletalk by this means when they desired to say anything private to each other.

A few days ago, while thes: fun loving youths were seated at breakfast, a stout bui.t young man entered the dining room with a handsome girl on his arm, whose blushing countenance showed her to be a bride. The couple had, in fact been married Dut a day or two previous, and had come to San Francisco from their home in Oakland or Mud Springs, or some other rural village, for the purpose of spending their honeymoon. The telegraph tickerscommenced as soon as the husband and wife had seated themselves.

No. 1. opened the discourse as fol10W9 What a lovely little pigeOtt this is alongside of me—ain't she

No. 2.—"Perfectly charming—looks as if butter wouldn' melt in her mouth. Just married, I guess don't you thiuk so?"

No. 1.—"Yes, I should judge she was. What luscious lips she's got. If that country bumpkin beside her was out of the road, I'd give her a hug and a kiss just for luck."

No. 2.—"Suppose you try it,anyhow Give her a little nuage under the table with your knee."

There is no telling to whst extent ths impudent rascals might bsve gone but tor sn smsxing and entirely unforseen event. The bridegroom's face had flushed, snd dark scowl wss on his brow during the progress of the ticking conversation out the operators were too much occupied with each other to pay any attention to him. The reader may form some idea ot the young fellows' consternation when the partner of the lady picked up bis knife and ticked off the following teres but rigorous message: "Ths lsdy is my wife, and as soon ss she gets through with her breakfast I propose to wring both ot your necks— you insolent whelps."

The countenances of the operators fell very suddenly when the messsge commenced. By the time it ended they had lost all appetite and appreciation of jokes, ana slipped out 01 the dining room In a very rapid and unceremonious msnner. It seems the bridegroom was a telegraph operator, and "knew how it was nimself.

WHEN DO MEN DIE

Medical sxperience proves that, in chronic dlsesses, the greater number of deaths occur just before dawn. This is eminently true of brain disease, snd ol all those related cases where death results from an exhaustion of the vital power through overwork, exoessive excitement or nervous prostration. It is at the hour of five o'clock in the morning that the life force is at its lowest ebb. and succumbs most readily to the assault of epilepsy, or paralysis, or of the fatal lethargy that comes in those besntiful picture-dreams, for which medical science has as yet found no name, and of which it has taken no sufficient cognisance. Nine-tenths of those who die in this way expire in their sleep. Jn many such cases, if a friend were at band to waken the sleeper when the at tack comes on, or if he weie to awaken by some accidental noise, be might, by the nee of a few simple precautions, prolong his life for many years for the shock which proves fatal to the man wrapped in deep sleep, when the system is passive ami relaxed, would be victoriously repelled were it armed with all its waking energies. Men who do brain work, and who are on the shady side of forty, should be on their guafd against this insidious enemy. They should beware of live o'clock A. M., for it is a perilous hour. Do you find yourself unable to sleep, when you retiro for the night, exhausted with your day's work? Do you, in vain turn from one side to the other? Does your brain persist in working when you would fain have it rest? Do old saws, and scraps of rhyme, repeal themselves in your memory with wearisome iteration, defying your utmost eftorts to silence them Then, I say to you, beware! You will be sure to sleep at last. It is only a question of time for, soon or late, nature will assert her rights.

A CHARITABLE WORLD. It is a temptation to a temperate man to become a sot, to hear what talent, what versatality, what genius is almost always attributed to a moderatelybright man who is habitually drunk. Such a mechanic, such a mathematician, such a poet he would be, if he were only sober and then he is sure to be the* most generotis, magnanimous, friendly soul, conscientiously honorable, If be were not so conscientiously drunk. I suppose It is now notorious that the most brilliant and promising men have been lost to the world in this way. It is sometimes almost painfu! to think what a surplus of talent snd genius there would be in the world If the habit of intoxication should suddenly cease snd what a slim chsnce

the observation that the reputation of a person for great talent sometimes oesses with his reformstlon.

It is believed by some that the maldsns who would make the best wives never marry, but remain free, to bless the world with their impartial sweetness snd make generally habitable. Tills is one of the mysteries of Providence, snd New England life. It seems pity, st first sight, that all those who become poor wives have the matrimonial chance, and that they are deprived ot the reputaion of those who would be good wives were they not set apart for ths high and perpetual office of priestesses of society. There is no beauty like that which was spoiled by ansoddent, no accomplishments and graces are so to be envied ss those that circumstances rudely hindered ths development of. All of which shows what a charitable and good-tempered world it is, notwithstanding Us reputation for cvnidsm and detraction.— [Charles Dudley Warner, in Scribners for March (from advanee sheets.)

A2* Indianapolis man took advantage of bis wife's having the small-pox to ssnd for bis mother-in-law. The result surpassed his utmost expectations, and hs hsdthe satisfactions of paying her funeral expenses few days alter her arrival.

THB DETECTIVE IN THE QRAND JURY ROOM. The detective officer shiues brilliantly before the Grand Jury. There was now snd then a man ot this profefsion who was quiet and unpretending, but he formed an exoeption to the rule. The detective bad generally done wonderful things in the discovery of crimes already committed, or in prevention of crimes contemplated or progressing. Some detectives told their stories with admirable directness, while others were evidently desirous of giving condensed histories of their professional careers. "Did you arrest Johu Jones?" asks the foreman when a detective is called in, "Yes, sir," is the reply. "Why did you arrest him?"—"Because I heard he had robbed Brown's store." —"Did you find anything in his possession?"—"Yes, sir." What did you flud?"—'"The articles named in the complaint."—"That will do, officer: you can go and the officer bows and departs.

This is all that the jury wan's to know from the officer in regard to the performance of John Jones, who is charged, on complaint of Brown, with burglary in the first degree. But the prubab.lities are two to one that when the foreman asks: "Did you arrest John Jones?" the officer will say "I was walking along Broadway aud saw Browni who looked as if he had beon robbed, I W9llt to his store, and saw tne mark of a chisel near the lock, and asked Brown if he had lost anything Brown told me he had, but did not know who had robbed him I looked at the the chisel-mark, and thought was Jones's work then I went down Canal atreet, and saw Jones standing talking with two men, one whom I remembered seeing seveit years ago at the California State Prison, when I took the great stage robber Smith up there for robbing the Petaluma mail, and frightening a lady passenger so that she died next week, snd left two girls, three boys, and one husband Jones looked so innosent that I kuew he was guilty, and so I followed him sit the afternoon, and arrested him when I saw him go into a house on the Bowery I sesrehed ths bouso and found Brown's goods concealed where it was not likely anybody oould find them snd thsrs was a lot of other goods that I recognised as coming from a store on Brosdway that was robbed six wseks before." And so be goes on, in a way calculated to impress his bearers with the belief that be is a man of genius and perfectly st home among thisvss. He knows sll the gentry that one does not like to be iutimats with, and when hs finishes his narrative, you eontemplste him (to use ths language of a certain selebrated orator about another) as tha East Indian contemplates his favorite idol: you know that he is ugly, but you feel that he is great. The story of a detective will frequently convey the idea that the movements and actions of profrsssional thieves oan be studied, liks thoss of tho robin or the beaver, and I have sometimes

reptiles that inhabit the earth and make things lively. One officer, who wss a witness in several esses, was a favorite with the jury, for the reason thst he slwsys gave his testimony in the clesrsst snd most direct manner. I doubt if he used dosen superfluous words in sny instsno*, snd I could almost say thst he did not uses dozen of them sltogetber. His statements were short sharp and decisive, and it is my impression that he is far more efficient in the service than some of his professional brethren who would occupy fifteen minutes to tell a story that he could tell in sixty seconds, and have time to spare.[—Col. T. W. Knox, in Scribner's lor March from advance sheets.

GIVK us an ecclesiastical court for the development of fun. There would be no difficulty in our having a flourishing American Punch if we could only get up an ecclesiastical trial every week. The recent proceedings in the case of Dr. Cuyler, who was under trial for the henious offence of having permitted Miss Smilie, the Quakeress, to preach in his pulpit, was enlivened with many capital jokes, some of whicb lost none of their point by the fact that tbey were uttered in sober earnest aud meant lor solemn truth. The good cider, who Uked the lady's preaching, and said there was no use in quoting Ftul, for he did not always spealc by inspiration, but some times expressed merely his own private opinion, was pounced upon by a Reverend of the Wnole-Flgure-or-rfotbing school, who was seriously shocked by such an expression in a Presbyterian conference. He wanted the whole of Paul or none of him. How are we to tell where the man ends and tne inspiration begins? shouted this excited defender or the Faith. Allow that Paul is sometimes not inspired, and men will pick out of Paul just what they please and throw the rest away, quoth he. Then they will impeach Paul's reasoning powers, they will. No, "the whole of the inspired Word of God or none." This is richness. Does Mr. McClellan consider everything recorded between the lids ot the Bible as alike inspired, and quote the corses of David as of equal value as bis pravers, and consider the words of the Devil as also the very words of God? We area little surprised that no one undertook to answer this worthy representative of the Whole-or-Notbing school. Was it for fear of precipitating a iaogh or provoking an indictment for bereay ?—[Golden Age.

W

BIBLE IN THE SCHOOLS i" The Superintendent of Public Schools in Missouri recently presented his annual report to the Legislature in which be takes substantially the ground taken by this paper in relation to the Bible in the publicscbools that the importance of the measure is not sufficient to justify a jeopardising of our public schools in its behslf. Commenting opon the report, the Central Christian Advooate says: "Our positions in brief sre: 1. That this is Christian nation, and that a majority have a right to maintain Chaistian institutions in the land, and to uphold public morality, and defend ths holy Bible. xhe

Bible is not sectarian book,

and the reading of it is not sectarian in any proper sense. Certainly this is Christian nation, snd we will maintain our Christian institutions and defend the Bible, but we do not propose to sttsch sny penalty to the not reading of that Bible.

Ths Bible a sectarian book from the stand point of a nation composed of Jew snd Gentile, Christians and Infidels.

Let us teseh sll the children hiw to read sod writs, and then let Christian tsacb them how to love the Bible, not forcing it upon them in the school, but by examplifying its teachings in every day life, and this is all wo ask.—[Ind. Christian Advocste.

THS report that Anns Dickinson will fooo make her debut on the stage in tragedy is sgain circulated.

THE CHESAPEAKE PKN1N8ULA. The reverence in which this old region is held by those who have wandered from it is exemplified by a late remark of William H. Hooper, delegate in Congress from Utah, and. a Mormon, though not a polyg.imist. .He was describing the virtues of Eastern Shore cooking, when one said:— "Captain Hooper, wheu were foh last on the old peninsula?" "Never, Madame, since I left it thirtyfive years ago." "Why, sir, from your frequent mention of the place, I should think you would want to slip over therb at least once every session of Congress." "Never, Madame! I never wish to see it again for I might be disappointed. I always want to remember it as it appeared to mo last in the days of my youth: tho most beautitul spot under the eyes of Providence."

Similar testimony was that of John Custis. father-in-law by her first marriage of Mrs. George Washington. The Custis family had descended, in America. from John Custis, a Hollander in name and origin, who received the appointment of Collector of Customs on the Eastesn Shore of Virginia in 1687, and whose great estate of Arlington there, and relative fortune in money, attested either the richnessof the Eastern Shore at that time, or tne antiquity of the Collector of the Customs as we know him, a Royal officer to this day. The estate of Arlington, near W «shington City, perpetuates the name of the elder manor of the Custis family near Cape Charles, and it is authentic history that the son of the Collectoi tnariteg the daughter of Daniel Parke, who carried the dispatches of Msrl borough to Queen Anne, announcing the victory of Blenheim. This second Custis, living unhappily with his wife, left this tribute to the Eastern Shore on his toombstone:— "Under this marble-tomb lies ths body of the Hon. John Custis, Esq., of the oity of Williamsburg and purish of Burton, formerly of Huugars parish on the Esstern Shore of Virginia and county of Northampton, aged seventy' one years, and yet lived but seven years. wMek mas the space 0/ time he kept a bachelor's home at Arlington, on the East* ern Shore 0/ Virginia."

These attestations, however, revive the widely known snneodote invented by Hon. Tom Corwln, who used to tell it on the "stump." A very old uisn, with long jsws snd high-cheek bones, came once upon a time to the witnessbox ot an Ohio court. "What is your age?" asked Corwln. "Twenty-two." "You probably mistake the question. The years of your life,—I wish to know the number of them." "Twenty-twol" ... "Have you spent all your life in Ohio?" "Oh! no. I did live forty years on the Esstsrn Sho' of Maryland, but I hope the Lord ain't counted them agin me!"

The queer phrases and pronunciation of this region sre of habit, and no longer of Ignorance. "I do'no but" is mild form of sfflrmation. "A danged sight good deal" Is sn ambiguous estimate of quantity. "Won't 'mung ye come to see me!" is a soinewhst querulous renewal of an invitation. "What for a sort ot man" is hardly Indigenious, but sounds suspiciously like an imitation of "Fidelty" or "Baltiner" business talk. Who can define an "ill-commenced day" except upon the theory of natural volpblllty unrelieved by dictionary "An else'' is of universal currency it applies to a man of sagacity, to quantity, and to distance occasionally the word "peart" takes the place of smart, to signify animation. "Cleverness" in Delaware weans hospitality and good-fellowship solely, never skill, and It Is the next diploma below tbo impassable grade of "a gentleman."

Cousinship is feature of good family life on the Peninsula, the remark being common of "So and 80 is my fourth cousin." Extraordinary cases of human longevity occur here, notwithstanding the prevalency at times of low fevers but the Eastern Shore is healthier Mian the opposite and hitiber coast. Crime is rare. 8odety was tranquil during the war northern immigration is welcomed, and observes no prejudice.

It Is to be remarked that from peninsulated regions of the Chesapeake, closely resembling the Eastern Shore, many ol oar strongest public men have come as, for example, Washington, the Lee family, Pinckney and Wirt, Taney and Reverdy Johnson in short, the whole line of Virginia statesmen. William and Mary, and St. John's Colleges are pitched in the lowlands ol the Chesapealce.—[George Alfred Townsend, In Scribner's for M-»rc^, (from advance Bheets.)

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A PERPLEXING QUESTION. A distinguished member of the bar tells the following queer story: Some years ago I was couusel for a respectable gentleman who was charged with being insane. He was possessed of considerable property, and his relatives were very desirous 10 have him tenderly cared for in an asylum for the insane. His hallucination was indeed remarkable. It simply amounted to this: He imagined himself a lunatic, protesting with the utmost earnestness that he was insane. On all other subjects he was perfectly rational.

He had actually been confined in an Institution for the insane, and had him brought before a certain Judge on a writ of habeas corpus, knowing that his trifling hallucination was perfectly harmless, and that hs wss ss competent to go sbout his business as any one. llie judge expressed a desire to bear from the prisoner directly, and pnt ths question to him: "Are you inssne, Mr. S 1"

I sm," be replied. This was clssr admission, snd I felt somewhat perplexed but in that moment a bright idea struck ins,and I immediately acted upon it. Addressing the bench. I said

Your honor, if my client is insane, he tells the truth in saying so, and therefore cannot be insane, because his premises are correct. A man is only inssne when his views are at tan It, so as to involvs an bslluclnatlon. On the other hand, if it beclslmsd that be is not correct when be pronounces himself Inssne—that It Is merely a fancy on his

Crt—thst,

contrary to his own belief,

is not inssne, then whst pretext can there be for oonflning him hi a mad-bous* I therefore respectfully pray for his discbarge."

This pussling proposition so confused both the Judge snd the opposing counsel, that no further objection was made to my client's release, and five minutes later I had ths satisfaction of wslking sut of the court-room with one who wss insane, and yet was not.

THB Chicago Post wsnts to know whether sll the lnhsbitants of Schomscki, lately destroyed by an earthquake, are Scbomackers. This is ths worst yet.