Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 2, Number 35, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 24 February 1872 — Page 1
Vol. 2.—No. 35
THE MAIL
Office, 142 Main Street.
TKURE-HA UTE PRINTING HOUSE.
O.J.SMITH & Co.,
Steam Job Printers,
%ul-nan Block, 141 Main Street, tg TKRRE-HAUTK, IMD
Railroad ft Commercial Printing a Specialty.
Hail road Tlror Table.
VANDALIA SHORT LINE.
Indianapolis Division.
Leave. Arrive. 12:50 a. New York Express 5:50 a. m. 7:06 a. in Day Express 11:55 a. in. p. ui Lightning Exprca«...„ll:00 p. m. 2:20 p. in....Ind'l Local 4:10 p. m. tit. Louis Division.
Leave. «.:» Arrive. 5:55 a. .... Pacific Ex press..::.. ».~12:40 a. 111. 12:ou Noon Day Express .'J:.'0 p. 111. li:lo in Hi. L. A Cairo Ex 10:10a.m.
EVANRTVILI.E ACKAWRORLWYXLLK K. R.
Leave. Arrive. :S0a. Express...............10:05 p.m. 4 10 p. Mall p.
KOCKVILLE EXTENSION.
Leave, la p. m. Mall.
4:10 A.
1 I
I'.VKIrt .•
OR AIN— '0111. Wc. O.ils, Mc. Ryi ,70 fit75c.
Arrive.
lu:.'lou. m.
K.TT. II. A CHICAGO RAILWAY.
Ijeav*. Ills H.
Arrive
ANAI'OLIM FT ST. LOPI8 R. K.
Arvive/'om West. Depart/or East. :t:!0 p. Day Express 8:45 p. m. 1»:10 a. rn Lightning Express... 12:-W 11.m«:.j0 a. 111 Night Express 1:55 a. m.
DKCATUH TRAIN.
j\ rriv/rovt M'nrf. In-part/or Went. 11:30 IM5 P- n».
Markets.
TERRE-HAUTK MAKKK'I. TKKKK-IIAUTK,
Feb. 23.
The following figures are pakl to farmers aud others by dealers In tills city: BEESWAX—Yellow,
Bl! ITKR-Hest. 15(c*20c. CORN MKAIz-'itX'. ftGGs-Fresh. lHg)20c. FEA I'll ERS—Llv« Geese, .V(ijiil0c. =r
Old I0««l0c.
.''jFIA.HlIt—Fancy brands. «8 00 50. FRUIT -Gree.. Apples, $1(10 tl 10 Dried Apples, 4(fl5c. •••.ww
Dried Poaches, 9vjl0c.
White W'hi'flt, 1 (X). Al ibamn, il ,Y ~i Mediterranean, 91 50.
-GINSENG —Aue. tiHK.VSE—lirown, Sjilk!. 'HIDlirJ—Green Trimmed. 8}jo.
Halted, »'jo.
Dry H@16c. Flint. Ktc. Sheep klns 15(Li$i 75,
TALLOW-7V-. PROVISIONS—Hams I0ad:2c. Hides .\ivSo1
Shoulders (i(ij7c.
LARD—Countly. 7(«*8c. iPOT A TOES—8ti(i100c. POL! LTRY—Tui keys, alive per ft *(|10c
!is,-v
Dl'OrtScd 10C* I io
Ducks per doneii, 92 00(3 00. Goose W 50. t'Ulokons, old, porilo/.en.J:00. young, 1150(92 00.
HKEDH—Flax. II l». Clover 9
I*10O.
RAGS—Cotton, WOOL-TutHWoshed, ftMJKe. •. Fleico
B0(I(.YH\ I
Unwashed, 40t"«i42e.
IlOOS-l'rlco, $ i.'i0 to $1.00 gross M.2j to H.ra not
AI.KMSAS A 11 KK(T.—'Tho
Emperor's
third win, Alexis In In tho naval servle®. S nit what more than a your ajio, when holding tin' uik of inidHhipman, tho iK-shlp In whioh ho was serving was wrecked on tho eoaul of Denmark. Tho admiral ordered tho lilohonts to bo lowered.and directed Alexis to tako oharne ol the first boat. The royal midshipman declined to olnty tho oriier. It was peremptorily repeated: "I, vonr ocmmandinn nflloer, orderyou into the iMvit." "AdmirHl, I cannot oboy vou," tho youn« prlnoe. "It would not become the son of tho emi»er*ir to bo the ttrwt to loave theship. I shall remain wiih von to tho last." "But I shall put you under arrest for disobedience ol order* as noon circumstances will allow me to do «o."
I mean no disobedience, but I cannot obey," replied the youthful heio. In due tltno almmt the entire crew reached tho shore In *«let v, only some four or five having perished In the transit from the ship. Among the laet to land were the Admiral nd theOranl Duko Alexis. Tents were bast 11 erected from the sails and spars snved from the wreck, and the rl«l«1 dlsclnlme of shiplife wa« promptly resumed. Hie young prince
WMS
placed under arrest for his
previous disolxNllenec of onlecs. As liOoti as |osHiblw the Kusiao miulater at Cojenhiigen ir.fbrau^i of .the facts, and tol»nraphed tboui totheetuiH»nr, fr»»m whom he rocolv.x2l iuo following reply "I approve of ttio act of the Admir-il in placing tlio tuuUiu^uuitv* under arrest f«r di«»l»eIieno«of orders, and I bless and kiss m/ son fair diao* iMjylug them.—[liipplncrVvV.
••Now.
MY TOY,"
said committee
luau, "if 1 had mliH^e pie and should* «ive two-twelfths to Isaac, two-twelttht to llarrv and two twelftha to John, and ihould iake h«lf the pie mtt»if. what would there l»e left S|eak up loudloud, ao th»t the tMMiple can beac," "The plate!" sh nied the boy.
IT is affirmed that the e«aUru shore of the Uuited Suites is sinking into the ocean «t the rate of sixteen inches every hundred years. Iluyers of seashore leta should bear this in mind.
a
-___
aH a ai
MM
'Til*Gertusn students drawn off by tbo war are flockitm to the uuiversitiea, which are nearly all over-crowded thi* Winter.
How toll 01 bri*r» is this day world.
TRK FNVOHTT
8ulMiia of his Maieaty
oC Turkey la only eleven
ymm
The News.
{4^.
1
itt'A
DOMESTIC.
St. Louis is moving in the matter of receiving foreixn cupltttl for iuvostmeul. there in manufactures,
The damages at Cincinnati by the recent break up of the ice in the river, Is estimated at about three hundred thousand dollars.
The suit of Fred. Beritzrnan against the St. Louis Packet ompany for 25,000 for false Imprisonment and malicious prosecution in 18S0, wiis decided in the First Circuit Tuesday, by awarding Bcritzman $5,000.
A special to the Cincinnati Chronicle says a hoirible tragedy came to light early Tuesday morniug iu Clark ceuuty, two miles above New Albany, Indiana. A log bouse, In which a German and his wile, namKl -titly.lived was found burne.l to the mound, tiie debris having fallen into the cellar. The m«-n makliiK the dKcovery hecured hooks and limbed out of the cellar the arms of BeiUly and his wile, inso the skull of Hently. It is supposed they were inurdered for money,
FTS
Bently
HOIU
large lot of luicon Monday, and then burned the place to cover the crime. The County Coroner, and a large numberof people irom New Mbnny and Jeffersonville, went to the scene to-day, and the case is now being investigated.
The workingmen of Kansas, fn convention at Toprka, elwied delegates a day 01 two ago to I lie National Labor Convt 11tlon to lie held at Columbus, Ohio, on the 22d. Resolutions were Unanimously adopt ed Instructing tlieir delegates to use their Influence to |*»*tpone the nomination of cainlldatos Ur Pre»id»-nt and Vice Pr sident by the Columbus Convention until Ma\ 11.
\!KO
Express Mall 0:-f-r A. M. Local Freight 3:W 1
IN
FreightandAcc'dn...l0*o0a. m.
Arrive from Knst. Depart/or West. i-m p. Ht Louis Acc'dn 4:10 p. m. Hfc80 a. 111 Day Express Ii)::i5 a. in. W:to p. in Night Express lu:o0 p. in.
to secure, if possible, the rea.^semoliiig of the National Convention of Labor Reform In time lor harmonious action in the next Presidential campaign, and further, in the event 01 the roa-seinbllng of the Labor Convention, they will do tlieir be*.t to form an alliance with the Republicans who wilt assemble at Cincinnati on the 12tli of May, if the same cuii be done without sacrifice of principle.
Articles of association of the Detroit, Fort Wayne A Si. Louis Railroad Company were filed in the office ol the Secretary 01 State yesterday. The capital stock 01 the company Is placed at $1,000,000, divided.into S50 shares. The southern terminus of the proponed roftd will be nl Kokomo» Howuid eountv. thence be:, ring northeasterly tliroiivh tho counties of How: I and Allen, terminating at a point near the northeast corner of the latter county, in the direction of Adrian. Michigan. Tlie n-ad will pasthrough Hum iuxton and Fort Wayne, and be about ninety five miles in length In Indiana. The Hoard of Directors, seven in number, for the first term, consists or the following gentlemen A. P. Edgerton, John Hough, Win. Fleming, S. Carey Evan. Charles McCullo.'li. John Roche and Geo. J. Bippus, ,3
FOREIGN.
Throe bf the assassins of (Jenerals Leeomte and Thomas were executed at live o'clock Wednesday morning at Satory, Frunco.
Preparations for the reception ol Vloxls are ra, idly going 011 at Havana. The guns of the Spanish frigate Gerona l.av'e -en unshipped to clear tho decks loi tko naval ball.
Eight thousand revolutionists attacked the city ol San Louis Potosl on the Kith, driving the governmeut forces wit Inn their barricades and cutting off r* Inforcemenls and supplies. A conducta with a million and a half of dollars, reached the frontier near Camargo yesterday, unaided by 5,000 revolutionists. This is the first specie which is arrival out slnco the commencement ol the re\olution.
The Opinion Nationale asserts that the 0011s iraey has been discovered in which three Generals, ut-der the late limp.-ror ar« leaders. Their plan was to disperse the assembly by force and take possession of the Government, when they were to be supported by a large number 01 ex-offlcers ami «ildlers or ie Empire, from the North. Th Oplnlou Bays that in ns» que ice ot this revelation tlie Belgian frontier is carefully guarded and 110 one is permitted to crossinto France without a passport.
The new Ministry are tho following: Sonor Siigisia, I'l'i'slueu1 ot the Council and Minister of the Interior Admiral MalcamIXIV,
Minister or Marine Sonor Do Bins Minister of Foreign Affairs Sonor IV macho, Minister of Finance General Del Rev. Allnistorof War Senoi Robledo. Minister ol Public Works Honor lima, Minister of Colonies Sonor Colinenares, Minister of Justice. The last five mentioned or the Ministry belong to the Unionist parly. Admiral Tofete, who, It was expecle.1, woulr be one or the members of the new government, declined to aeoept a posltlou, owing to the Illness of hi" nmhtor.
I IE A LTll ItVL b.S FOR MARRIED LADIES. Clot up at 3 o'clock in the morning, clean out the stove, take up the ashes, swoop the front si lowalk, and scrub tho Iront steps, nurso the baby, put the mackerel to soak, build the lires, grind the cofTee, get out your husband's things to warm,see the shirt ai^ed, boil the mackerel, settle tho coffee, set the table, rouao tho house, w»rry up some hot water for shaving to that brute ol a lasy husband, and dry the morning pujK-r. By this time you will have an app -lite for breakfast. Hold the baby during the uieal, as you like your breakfast cold.
After breakfast, wash the dishes, nurse the baby, dust everything, wash the wiudews,aud druasthe baby—(that
Cing)—uurse
anlry needs cleaning out and scrubthe baby, draw bab.v five or bix miles iti igoii for his health, nurso Uim when you return put on tho potatoes and the cabbage—nurse tho baby—aud the corned beef—don't forget to nurse the baby—and the turniiv»—nurse the baby—sweep everything, take up dinner, set the table, fill tho castors, change the table cloththere, that baby want* nursing. KU vour dinner cold again and nurse the baby. ..
Alter dinner wash dishes, gather up all the dirty clothes, and put them to soak nurse the b*by every hal hour, receive ado*en (Sails, Interspersed with nursing the baby drag the babv a mile or two hurry home make bis cuiia, pick up some codftih, cut np some dried be*f. Catnip tea for baby's internal disarrangement hold the bsby an hour or two to quiet him pot ».me alcohol In the meter bsby a specimen of perpetual motion tea rjady take yours cold, as usual.
After tea, wash up dishes put some fish to soak chop soine haah »end for some more sugar —good gracious! how that sugar doos go, Iftd thirteen cents a pound
HN
old.
down the stockings and
dam them—keep on vursing the baby till husbuid comes home with a double tboffle On the front steps, a difficulty In finding the stairway, and a determination to sleep in the ba« k-yard. Drag him up stairs to bed then nurae the baby and go to sleep.
Women In delicate health will And that the shore practice will either kill or curt then*.
TERRE-HAUTE, SATURDAY EVENING, FEBRUARY 24, 1872.
MISS SMILEY, THE PRETTY QUAKERESS. You know what was said about putting new wine into old bottles, or you ought, if you don't. But in those days bottles were made o! leather, and were not as safe as the jugs and things which we use.
Brooklyn, representing theold leather bottles, has had the new wine symbolized by a pretty, silver-tongued, dead-iu-earriest Quakeress, poured into it, and the consequence is just what the biblical assertion led to expect.
It has burst. She came from Maine, with a pretty cap of filmy lace, which, doubtless, is the expression of some mystical religious sentiment, and this cap shows the outlines of a classic head and a great coil of magnificent black hair. She wears a gown of the richest fabric, and of as warm a color as her pious sentiments will permit. Over her bosom is folded soft, white meshes of gossamer, which lend a sentiment of purity to that region in which romantic people, wiih a delightful vagueness, and physiologists, with a painlul prevision, locate the human heart. The fair Quakeress may intend to express a quality of mind or a scrap of creed by this bit ot saintly decoration, and she may not I'm sure I cannot tell, but I do assure you that it is marvelously becoming to her style of beauty.
What wonderful great dark eyes she has! How seraphic she looks when about to pray How tender her voice when she reproaches sinful raau How comely her complexion when inspiration fetches eloquence to her tongue, all along with a sweet rosiness to her cheeks To sum up the very worst of her sins, she is a beautiful woman, and to tell vou why she really ought not to speak fn tho churches, is to admit that she is not stupid. She talks to the unregenerate, and not only means what she says, but slio is grandly persuasive, and tenderly logical. fhe makes every man wish to go to Heaven, and show-s her method of getting her sins forgiven.
Witn her pretty little hands folded ov her heart she tells her hoarers i.ow desperately wicked that same little palpitator is, and her mail listeners don't look as if they believed one single word Lhat she said against it. Tho leminine hearers, true to the instincts, or rather habits of their sex, appear to have more faith in her assertions than do their husbands and brothers.
For the life of 1110 I can't understand why society is not so organized that women may fill the churches which shall bo set apart for ministering to men, and the young Heicules wrestling against sin, be set over the houses where only women worship.
It has already been pr sed (whether seriously or not, I uo not kto.v,) that the clergy lorm themselves iiuo a sell protecting association for keeping handsome women, women with brains, and women with sweet voices, and, indeed, all sorts of good and clever women, out of tho pulpit, or their vocation will be utterly gone.
It is very pitiiul to listen to their discussions upon this subject, as they i^athor in little, sorrowful groups for mutual sympathy. Miss Smiley is drawing crowds and crowds of people, while our most attractive men have 111 Miy a vacant seat staring at tliein with eloquent emptiness. Miss Smiley is infused with a genuine sympathy with humanity, and rousesj people to think and feel, and there is none of that humdrum monotony about her sentiments which so stupify thought, in the ordinary sermons which we hoar. Not but what Miss Smiley would bo far more attractive to the writer if she were a Mrs. Madonna, with a babv in her arms, than with a public bible in her pretty hands, but we prefer to have her remain a solitary vestal and preach to us if we for one moment imagined that we were forever doomed to listening to most of the sermons as are given to ,us at the rate of
10.000
a year. It is a species of tor
ture and swindling combined, which is positively demoralizing to reflective man.—[N. Y. Cor. Chicago Times.
B!' 17? A no US BL UNDERER. Kev. DoWitt Tallmage of Brooklyn, is said to be tho orignal toller of the following tale about a less ready-witled clergyman
Job Hooper was a schoolmate of mine inv vis-a-vis at table my chum in Divinity College. He wae born a blunderer. Ho never opened his capa cious mouth without landing therein his sizable foot. Job was pious—overwhelming pious. His piety sometimes seemed to devour his syntax. He was more reverential than grammatical. He was a Methodist, Job was and ho wasalwaV" getting into*verbal scrapes. —One day he went out into the country to preach, and 1 went with him. He stood up and faced the audience for the first time, reiving on impromptu inspirition. He "took his text, he said, "from the twenty-fifth chapter of Genesis, which relates how Ksau sold his birtblight fora pot of message." At thi» announcement a smile rippled around the congregation, and I in the vulpit behind, warded him with aloud h_m
4,I
ob.-»erve," he slowly contin
ued, "from th* manner in which the text is received, that I must have made wmr mistake in quoting the holy record, but I will repeat it, in order"— here he spoke very deliberately and thoughtfully—"in order that if there be any heedless and profligate young man In "this congregation, he may not do as did the unworthy son spoken of in the sacred book, ana go atia sell his birthright—tor—a—pot—of—message!" At this point a blunt old deacon Jumped up. and waving his hand depreoatingly. "that'll do! that's enough meaaage!" There was a broad and general laugh and little more preaching, and the dull Job didn't dtaoover hia blunder until it was explained to him in the sleigh.
8OXR of the Indians who visited ib'e party of Alexis, the other day, upon entering a tent perceived a camp stove, and, being ignorant of its use, sat down upon it. The result elicited an involuntary war-whoop, and cooked their rouna steaks In short order.
A max died suddenly from intemperance, and a Western jury found that "deceased oatne to bis deeth-by drink* ing between drinks."
MINISTERING SPIRITS. Why come not spirit* from the realms Qf glory, !&*•. 'To visit earth as in the days of old, The times of sacred writ and ancient story
Is heaven more distant? or has earth grown cold
To Bethlehem's air was their last anthem given, When other stars before The One grew dim? Was their last presence known In Peter's prison,
Or where exulting martyrs raised their hymn?
Are tliev all within the vale departed There gleams no wmgalong the empyrean now And many a tear from human eyes have started,
Since angel touch has calmed a mortal brow. No: earth lias angels, though their forms are moulded
But of such clay as fashions all below Though harps are wanting and bright pinions folded,
We know them by the love light on their blow.
I have seen angels by the sick one's pillow Uheir' was the soft tone and the soundless tread Where smitten hearts were drooping like the willow,
Tliey stood "between tlie weeping and the dead."
And if my sight, by earthly dimness hindered. Beheld 110 hovering cherubim in air, I doubted not, for spirits know their kindied.
They smiled upon the wingless watchers tliere.
There have been angels In the gloomy prison, In crowded hall, by the lone widow's he rlli And where they passed, the fallen have uprisen,
The giddy paused, the mourner's hope had birth.
O, many a spirit walks the world unheeded, That, when its veil of sadness is laid down, Shall soar aloft with pinions unimpeded,
And we'Hi- Its t»lor.v like star crown.
[From the #t. lxmls D. moiirat.] 1811—1S72.
A LIVELY ARTICLE ON GREELEY'S BIRTH-DA Y. Sixty-ono years ago to-day the rumbling echo of an infantile caterwaul was heard among the granite hills of New Hampshire. The doctor said it was a boy, the nurse pronounced it a darling and the world has since learned to be thankful that it was Horace Greelev. Born as he was, at a very tender age, and subjected to the rigors of a cheerless climate, this poor but honest babe had scarce been ushered into this world of sin and woe ere his voice was lifted for "Protection" t' that little product of home industry embodied in his mewing self. It, was not until the regis of a bed quilt was thrown around his tender limbs and a spoonful of sleepcompellirig soothing syrup was poured into his sweet mouth, that he yielded 10 the importunities of surrounding friends, aud so far acquiesced in the 'passive policy" as to cease calling the doctor a liar for saving he was remarkable child, or to denunciation of the nurse as a slave for attempting to fondle his toes. Awakiug from his first nap, he heard his fond and jo\ ful parents discussing the best means wherewith to meet the new and additional responsibility which his advent hid cast upon them. He listened attentively to his father's hopes and his moibeV's fears, and then rising bolt upright in his cradle—"d you," said he, "(Jo West and buy a farm." A week later he showed tho first symptoms of of devotion to tho "one-term" princi pie by upsetting the baptismal lout when they tried to give him a middle name.
Not having material at hand for a complete biography of ftlr. Greeley we are obliged 10 omit any detailed reference to the important events of his early history. IIis child-life and his school-lite aro alike buried lieneath an impenetrable haze. We only know that tho child was father to the man. and that his earnest development tended in the direction for which he bassinoe been remarkable. Before he bad attained his sixth year he had become noted among the children of his native village for his punctual attendance at Sabbath School, his intellectual procooity, and his deep and abidiug proiauiiv and now lhat he has almost reached the grand climacteric, he can point with pride to the fact that if age has withered or custom staled the infinite variety of the first two of thes attributes he has at least been loft in the unimpaired possession of the last.
The reasons which induced young Horace to adopt the printing business in preference to all others do not appear with In any degree of satisfactory amplification. It has, however become almost an axiom that when a boy is good for nothing else—wjen he is not lit for the physical requirements of the woodyard on the one hand, and does not possess the intellectual necessities for the peanu stand on the other, be is invariably thrust into a printing office, in the hope that he will either break hi* neck by falling through a hatchway at an early stage of his awkwardness, or survive to graduate into usefulness in that best of all schools
01
knowledge
and advancement. The urchinal hero whose natal day we celebrate did not tall through a hatchway, but stumbled through bis apprenticeship, and emerged from it.a perfect example of typographical virtue, uneontamiuated by the use of tobacco and rum.
From the printer to the editor was an easy step for the juvenile Greeley. He had already fully imbibed tboee principles which have since marked his public career, and purchased the coat and hat which hard since been as unchangeable as his politics. It is said but upon what basis of historical truth we know not, that when after two hourae of unmitigated abuse of an uootfending Israelite in Chatham street, be cloaed the bargain for his existing outer garment, he took a solemn oath never to buy another article of the kind until Henry *lay was elected President, and every man, woman and child In New York bad gone West to cultivate the virgin soil and graft the eUk-bearing sheep upon the abort-ho rued mule, to the end that the fineat specimen of Morgan clothes-horse might be Indigenous to this country. The reader can now understand the force ot the opprobrium which hurls at the Missouri Democrat when be alludes to this Journal aa
having "changed its coat sinoe 1870." Mr. Greeley has not changed his coat since 1830.
But we celebrate Mr. Oreoley more as an author than as a journalist. Much as we owe bun tor his devotion to home Industry, human freedom, bran bread, Fouri»-rism, table-tapping and all the modern improvements upon religion and politics, we still maintain that hia strongest hold upon the American heart comos from his contributions to the permanent and book-bound literature of the country. His best known works are three in number and may be classed under the respective heads ol romance, autibiography and humor. By the first we allude to his "American Conflict," in which he lays rightful claim to be the Gilmore Simmsof the North, and weaves the incidents into the most rollickingof fiction's fantasies treating them in that spirit of solemn truth,commingled with inelo-dramatic ineid Mils drawn from the alembic of bis own imagination, which so endears the revolutionary novelsot Mr. Sinuns to every American reader. His "Recollections of a Busybody's Life" is the most charming piece of garrulity it has ever been our good fortune to come across. It it so delightlully filled with what nobody wants to know, as conspicuously wanting in what would interest the ordinary reader, that one is tempted from its initial to its closing chapter, in the hope, constantly deferred, that the author will tire of himself and tell ofsomeihing that concerns the world in which we live. But "Times' noblest offspring is the last" and Mr. Greeley certainly reserved the cream of his intellect for his latest achievement. Dickens was dead the Pickwick Papers had become a thricelold tale in England and in America, and there was a great demand, as he soon perceived, for a volume of short essays written in the Pickwickian vein vet so unlike in ni'inner as to be free from plagiarism. It was to meet this demand that he first conceived the idea of bis mirth-provoking work on Farming. ot which be is at otice the Dickens the Pickwick, the Weller, the spinster aunt, the fat boy, and all the
FCSI
of the
characters that :ke up the most interesting dramatis personae. It is not too much to claim lor this great book the very highest order of humoristic excellence. Its drolleries are so well concealed that they sometimes pass for realities its finest touches ot humor ure imbedded in gravity of diction which often puzzles the keenest sense ot the ludicrous to detect and the entire burlesque is so well uianaued that in some sections its precepts have been literally followed, and a lively famine has been the st of a praciic tljoke.
In addition to all this Mr. Greeley has run for Congress and for everything else as often as be eoul(i get an opportunity. His popularity is such hat he has but to consent to be a candidate in any district where tho assured majority is twenty thousand against him, and he is certain to receive the nomination. Ho has perhaps received more nominations and fewer elections than any living American. And now in his sixty-second year, he is still bale md vigorous, with intellect and ambition unimpaired, and, and his breast still bared tor otlicial lightning. May he live long and prosper.
THE PATEN 1' OFFICE REPORT IN THE FUTURE.
BY MAX A DICKER.
My idea is this: The Government is compelled to p.iy, every year, enormous sums of money for the publication of quantities of Patent Office Reports which are a mere curse to the country after they are distributed. Nobody reads them. Nobody ever did read one dear through. Any man who would rise up and s.iy that ho had perused one ot those volumes from beginning to end would be regarded by the community as a person who ought not to be at large. Now I propose to lake out a contract lor writing up those reports, and to perform the work in an original manner in a manner, I may say, which will make thein, perhaps, the most painfully interesting volumes
Bublishea
unrVr tho authority of the
nited Slates Government. My plan is to take the material that comes to hand every year and work it up into a continuous story, which could be filled in with tragedy aud sentiment and humor.
ForHnstanoe, if a man came prowling around the Patent Office with an improvement in hay rakes. I should name that man Alphonso and start him off in the story as the abandoned villain. Alphonso lying in wait, as it were, behind a dark corner for the purpose of stabbing his rival to the heart with that improved hay-rake. And then the hero could bo a in, suppose we s-iy, who desired an extension of a patent on acrordeons. I should call such a person Lucullus, and plant him with a working model of that accordeon, under the window of the boardinghouse where the heroine Amelia, who would be a woman who had applied for a patent on a new kind of red flannel frills, lay sleeping under the soothing influence of the tunes squeezed from tbe accord'-on of Lucullus.
Iu tbe midst of the serenade, let us suppose, in comes a man who has just
Sot
some extraordinary kind of a tooth rush about which he wants to interview the head of the department. I should make this being Amelia's heavy father and call him Smith because that name is Tull of poetry and sweetness and wild, unearthly music, and it sounds well in a novel. How would it do then, while Lucullus was mashing out his moat delit-ious strains to make Alphonso rush on Smith, with bis hay-rake, thinking be was Lucullus, and in the fight which would perhape ensue to blow out Alphonso's brains somehow ou the spot by a single discbarge, we might assume, of Smith's extraordinary tooth brush, while Lucullus could be arrested upon the suit of the composer who has a copy right on the tune with which he solaced Amelia?—[The Capital.
BAA09 ADOLTHCS ROTHSCHILD has founded at Nice a rvfuge for one hundred children.
Price Five Cents.
[For the Saturdaj^JPveiilng Mail.]
BEA UTIFCL SNOW. .r, Every one has seen, or read, or heard of "Beautiful Snow," as there is scarcely a paper In the country that has not since its first appearance, some ten years ago, published it at least onoe, if not oflener.
Considering its merits, perhaps, no piece of versification has been so popular, and certainly none has had so many claimants for authorship. Faxon, Watson, Sigourney, Venables, R»«d, Dora Shaw, and several others, whose names we cannot now recall, have all, at different times, asserted it to be the coinage of their indivi iual brains, nnd to this day its paternity, or, maternity, as the case may be, remains disputed and uncertain. 7s:
5
The Cincinnati Enquirer has an amusing article in a late number iu regard to the above named poem. It says that while It lias always admired it, considering the number of persons who claim to have been engaged in its construction, it is not such a remarkable production after all—that in deferenoe to to public opinion that paper has religiously published these verses every winter for the last ten years, expending, in so doing, in hard cash, not less than one hundred dollars, a sum much greator than it cost to compose it originally— that having done this much for the public, thereby supplying every household with at least a half dosen copies of this intensely popular versification it had concluded to "lay off''this winter, especially as aii3' deficiency in the supply could easily bo made up by the country pipers, many of which keep the poem in question "standing at the head ot the tirst column on the title page." As Spring hid almost put in an appearance, the Enquirer man began to congratulate himself that for this winter, at least, ho would escape the usual inflictions of sweet-scented notes from sentimental school misses and love sick swains, requesting the publication of "lhat sweetest of all poetry, 'Beautiful Snow.'" But as it is always "darkest just before day," so it proved in this instance, as on opening his mail a few days since what should the editor's eves behold but tho same old request couched in the very same language of bygone years. Under such circumstances what was he to do? Eyery one would say at once, comply with the request and publish as before. Strange to say, instead ot doing this, the editor inserted a paragraph in his paper tho next morning in which he staled lhat be didn't believe there was any such bundle of rhyme us the "Beautiful Snow" In existence. Now mark his punishment. We lotblm tell It in his own words. "Early yesterday morning copies of "Beautiful Snow" began arriving at the counting-rooin. A number ot young ladies called and left their scrapbooks. The first mall brought a basketful of letters, all inclosing copies of tbe old favorite. Some were discolored by age others were worn and thumbed with usage others were fresh copies in manuscript—all accompanied with a request to return if not used. "I am astonished," says one gentleman, "that you never came across this beautiful poem." "I did not hirik," says another, "that there was an editor living so stupid as to not know of 'Beautiful Snow.' At first we thought it a good joke, and were highly delighted, but tne "Beautiful Snow"'kept falling and the refrain of the letters began to be burdensome. When business men began to drop in last night, bringing copies of old magazines among whose dusky pages lurked the fugitive poem, and began to express their lack of confidence in a news paper lhat had never heard of "Beautilul Snow," ii become apparent lhat we hid inflicted a great injury upon the "Enquirer. It was no use trying to ui ike jest of the thing, and so we apologized lo ail who called. "The fallot "Beautiful snow continued late into the evening. It filled our waste-basket, drifted upon our table, insuated itself into the
ttnd
KATUBK TOO MAKB.—A
4
Kirow bow svbUm» a thine It to suffer and be ctron^—[Long^Uow,
tbe
piled
up ill our private drawer until we began to despair ever being able to get out of the room. At 11 o'clock last night we had enough to blockade the Pacific Railroad, and at 12 o'clock the office-1oy appeared with another armful of the generous contributions, and we incontinently kicked him down stairs, "This wftH'the conditloo of things at one o'clock this morniug, and notinore than half the wards in the city bad been heard from. Then there's the entire State to hear from yet, and we know what we will have to endure for the next forty-eight hours. Wo ^acknowledge that we nave the worst'of it and are anxious to compromise. Sunday next w« will publish "Beautiful Snow'' in all its pristine fullness. We are determined that this craving for "tbe poem so dear to the popular heart" shall be stopped. We wiltprlnt a large extra edition and orders for extra copies may be left at our place of business up to three o'clock Sunday morning."
fUr
San Francis
co paper speaks of a safe constructed by an ingenious mechanic of that citv. To illustrate its burglar proof qualities be bad biitiMelf looked up in it, with an ample supply of provisions,and offered to give 91000 to tne man wbo con Id unlock tho door. That* was about two weeks ago. Since then all the blacksmiths and burglars and carpenters in tbe State have been busily boring and blasting and beating at tbe safe, and tbe man is there yet. He has whispered through tbe keyhole that be will make the reward fio.ooo
but fears are
entertained th*t tbe only way to release the prisoner will be to melt him up with
safe
In a
blast furnace.