Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 2, Number 33, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 10 February 1872 — Page 2

for

rom the Qolden Age.] NXtAY READING. a book for Sunday reading,"

said a Wiv to the polite attendant at Appletoqrs tho other day. He betbotigli} uim of a half dozen volumes with pious labels on tne backs, such as Holy Living and Dying, Augustine's Confessions, Heech'-r's Meditations, Vaughan's Sermons, and Somebody's Comments on the Pr»yer Book.^ But she looked them all over, and finally took Lamb's Eliu and the Pickwick Papers. "Queer reading for Sunday," said the astonished

clerk,

ublic

when her

ladyship hud gone "'but then I admire her t.taie." Well, it was a queer selection, according to the old idea ot Sunday and the reading propter for the day. It used to bo thought that :he day was so sacred tiiat it was a sin to do the least unnecessary work, to engage in the leant conversation about matters of everyday interest and account, or to uut*end 'from the stiff and frigid propriety prescribed by the Puritan Fathers while to laugh, and walk out into the fields, and really enjoy the exemption from care and toil which the day affords, and be merry and make merry with one's friends upon it, as was the custom with the old Jews on the Sabbath, was positively wicked. Indeed it used to be thought that it was a sin to do anything really pleasant on Sunday and the more uncomfortable and unnatural one could be, the more he crucified the spirit and put the stomach and the limbs on the rack, the more meritorious he was. And so it was i'liinagined that the only books fit to bo read on that day were those which no one thought of reading at any other time, books that it WHS something of a punishment to read, but which were read from a pious sense ol duty, just as a dvspeptic makes a meal of Graham bread and oat-meal pudding and cold waier out of deference to his impaired digestion, trying to persuade his rebellious palate that after all such food is very good, yet longing all the while for canvass-back and English plum pudding.

But the old idea of Sunday has lost something of its hold on the public mind, and the day has already parted with much of its sombre sternness. Even Orthodox Christians begin to think that there is no sin in a good Sunday dinner, and if they cannot cut up ipers in the yard there is no harm in cutting up a minister's sermon, and the shocking bad taste of the bonnet worn by the lady in the next pew. And while human nature asserts itself in the middle-aged, the young folks come home from the Sunday school with little novels full of fun and frolic and some other things, and the old folks are so glad to have a little quiet to themselves tiiat they do not trouble themselves to observe that Tom is up to iiis ryes in the "Young Dodge Club," and Susan has lost herself in "Hanti ih." If tlio talk lags, as it is apt to ilo rientl.v after dinner, and they take up the Observer or Reflector or some other strictly religious paper for Sunday reading, ami they find theins lvei skipping'the rather dry and vapid articles on theology and sectarian atlairs, and reading the latest Experiment in Top-dressing, Ilow to Reclaim Swamp Lands, or a New Recipe for Making Butter. Of course, they feel a slight twingo of conscience but then the papers are strictly orthodox, and made on purpose for saints to read on tl\e "Sabbath day."

A LITERARY PAIR. ., a

Mr. Parton and his wile "Fanny Fern," I met latoly on Broadway. The home ol the literary pair is a most attractive place, thoroughly expressive or comfort, adorned with books and other

groofs

of taste. A collossal bust of lytic stands by the window on a pedestal, and peeps through the'curtalns at the visitor coming up the steps, as if it were living. Chromos and engravings, encircled by living ivy, hang on the walls. On an etagere filled with well-bound books stand busts of Boeoher and Butler, moral antipodes as

men, but both warmly admired lliolr personal qualities, by the ocupalit of the house.

Mr. Partou's working room is up stairs, and is a veritable literary den, simply furnished, and rich with the odor of Russia leather bindings. The general appearance of the house is like that of any other cultivated family, •nd it has nothing peculiar or bizarre about it. An evening spent in the society of Mr, Parton and his wife is a treat indeed. Both are good taikers, but Fanny Fern is the superior. Her powers ot description are excellent, and she talks with areat energy and dramatic power, telling stories, In particular, wtth striking effect. She has had a varied experience, and her reuiiniacenses of the past and anecdotes of the literary ana other celebrities whom she has known, are most interesting. There is a heartiness, also, in her manner which warms one ta her, and the visitor soon feels quite at home in her com pan v.

Parton talks quietly and deliberately, but it at all interested, he rises into enthusiasm, and at Intervals has flashes of tine seutlment expressed in his happiest way. I have met few persons whose talk was more suggestive, or who commented more keenly on the events of the day. Mrs. Parton is bound bv her engagement with Bonner not to write for any other paper than the Ledger, and of necessity there are many topics which could not well be discussed in the columns ot that paper, vet about which she feels very deeply, ller wish is to make a book about souie of these, and possibly before long she may enlighten and perhaps astonish the world with an expression of her views on oorUiin subjects now befor® the world. The labor ot writing a whole book, however, is too great to be done in a short time, especially bv one with her household cares,—[Cof, Louisville Courier-Journal.

IT

was with some regret that we heard or the attempt of our esteemed friend and fellow-laborer Mrp. Isabella Reeclur Hooker to go before the Judiciary Committee of the Senate for the purpose of getting from it a report on the right of women to vote under the new amendments. The only avowed woman suffragist on the Judiciary Committee was Sengtor Carpenter, and he had already, in a letter to the Golden declared himself of the counter option. The Committee's report, therelore, was a foreordained conclusion. We knew it would be adverse. For that reason, we would nave preferred not to have it at all. But the committee's attempt to tread ou» a great Idea is like putting one's foot on a sunbeam the shining tiling come* UP as bright and beautiful as ever.-[Gotden Age.

FOKD mother, "John, do took at that 4*1%iid it has your watch in Ita monin, £d .'m S&-ut» bachelor brother-in-law, and very food •f babies): "Oh! don't be theJ*** alarmed. Ffe got a bold of the chain. It cant so Har." (I*Mes«»)_.

ON A SIMPLE REMED YFOR DANDRUFF. There are doubtless few persons, especially among gentlemen, who do not suffer irom the inconvenience of dandruff. Physicians seem to consider it not of sufficient importance to engage their attention, anil the poor victims are left either to*practice their virtue of endurance, or for a cure, to try some of the many nostrums advertised in the public prints.

The intolerable itching which frequently accompanies the troublesome complaint, is not the only unpleasant foature,, as to persons of any pretensions to neatness,

the

appearance ot the

white scales on the coat collar and shoulders is very objectionable. The writer, during a number of years tried the alcoholic solutions of castor oil and many other preparations without permanent benefit, and as a last resort, was led to adopt the plan of cleansing tho scalp with borax and carbonate of potassa. This proved effectual, but after a persistent treatment of some mouths the hair became sensibly thinner, and perhaps would have soon disappeared altogether. Ihe belief that dandruff arises from a disease of the skin, although physicians do not seem to agree on this poiut, and the knowledge that the use of sulphur is frequently attended with very happy results in such diseases, induced me to try it in my'own case. A preparation of one ounce flowers of sulphur and one of water was made. The blear liquid was poured off, after the mixture had been repeatedly agitated during intervals of a lew hours, and the head was saturated with this every inorniug.

In a few weeks every trace of dandruff had disappeared, the hair became soft and glossy, and now,after a discontinuance of the treatment for eighteen months, there is no indication of the return ot the disease. I do not pretend to explain the modus operandi of the treatment, for it is well known that sublimed sulphur is almost or wholly insoluble, and the liquor used was destitute of taste, color or smell. The efeffect speaks for itself. Other persons to whom it has been recommended have had the same results, and I communicate the result of my^experiments in the belief that it may be valuable and acceptable to many who have suffered in tne same manner as myself.—[John L.

Davis, in the American Journal of Pharmacy.

MENTAL ARCHITECTJJRE. No,—I continued,—I don't want to have the territory of a man's mind ten (ted in. I don't want to shut out the mystery of the stars and the awful hollow that holds them. We have done with those liyptethral temples, that were open above to the heavens, but we can have attics and skylights to them. Minds with skylights,—yes,—stop, let us see if we can't get something out of that.

One-story intellects, two-story intellects, three-story intellects with skylights. All fact-collectors, who have no aim beyond their facts, are onestorv men. Two-story men compare, reason, generalize, using the labors of the fact-collectors as well as their own. Three-story men idealize, imagine, predict their best illuuiinatiou comes from above, through the skylight. There are minds with large ground floors, that can store an infinite amount of knowledge some librarians, for instance, who know enough of books t& help other people, without being able to make much other use of their knowledge, have intellects of this class. Your great working lawyer has two spacious stories his mind is clear, because his mental floors are large, and he has rootn to arrange his thoughts so he can got at them.—facts below, principles above, and all in ordered series poets are often narrow below, incapable of clear statement, and with small power of consecutive reasoning, but full of light, if sometimes rather bare ol furniture in tho attics.—[Atlantic Monthly,

A WORD FOR NOVELS. Novels familiarize men's minds with societies not confined to any age, country, or class. The poorest student treads palace rooms the seamstress in her garret penetrates into the most exclusive boudoirs the pauper without a vote takes part in the highest politics of past times. Suggestions of philosophy, of wisdom, clothed with personality, are gradually drnnk in and the reader rises bettered not taught the most approved kind of drainage, workhouse or lunatic asylwm, but so lifted above the meanor thouuhts of dally life that on all subjects presented to him he is inspired to take a broad and generous view. Man does not live by read alone, nor by facts alone. We are not all of us statesmen, statlcians, or students, careful to read everything on both sides of the question, and to test every assertion. The world is moved by feeling more than by interest or argumentative power an able novelist may enlist on the side of iustice that large force of public feeling which is called the opinion of the day, without which the legislative machine could not be made to move. To lift men up, to make them superior to daily needs, to make them forget animal wants and habitual littleness, is in itself of the greatest and purest us»e.

THR Pall Mall Gazette conveys to its readers two delightful little experiments in vivisection. We reproduce them, as tending to afford both amusement and occupation fer leisure moments.

No. 1. Insert in the back of a rat the end of ita own tail, having first pared it raw with a bistoury it will heal and take root. As soon as the graft is complete, amputate the tail about one-third of an inch from the old root. The rat's tail will thenceforward grow the reverse way and out of the back. During the first three months the rat will evinoe verv feeble signs of feeling when the tail*is pinched. At the end of six or nine months, the sensitiveness of the part will have much increased, but the animal will not yet be able to guess where it is pinched. After a year, ho will, however, be completely up to the trick and will turn to bite the pincher.

No! 2. If you amputate the paw of a voug rat, partially skin it, and introduce it through the skin of another rat's side, it will engraft, take nutriment, grow and acquire all the ordinary parts of its structure, as if it had remained with ita former proprietor.

The latter experiment is decidedly ingenious, reflecting great^credit on'he inventor tor his originality. Possibly, the rats may object.

BOWDOIN COLLKOB has abandoned tbe old custom of compelling students to attend prayers at six o'clock in tbe morning when they ought to be in wd or tbe bathing-tub. Tbeee enforced prayers," which more than half the time were unspoken evfaes. wefe quite enough to destroy what little piety tbe poor student had. We have always looked upon really religions graduate of a college where the religion was nade a port of the drill, and enforced by pains and penalties, as a marvel of

TERRE-HAUTE SATURDAY EVENING MAIL,

SELLING HIS BUYERS. Old John or "Stuttering a a a a well remembered in one ot the northern counties of this State. His prominent peculiarities were a genuine Yankee shrewdness at driving a bargain, and an inveterate habit of stuttering, especially when warmed up in a business transaction. A well-known lawyer from a neighboring town once purchased a cow of old John, being prompted to give a good round price for the animal upon the repeated assurance of the seller that she gave a "devilish fine littlo mess of milk." What was the buyer's mortification, next day, to find that his cow was almost worthless as a milker! In high dudgeon he posted off to obtain satisfaction of the "old stuttering CHSS." In reply to his angry salutation, old John innocently exclaimed: "I t-told you the c-cow gave a d-d-devilish fine l-l-little mess, and y-you've found I told you the t-t-truth—what in-thunder are you g-g-grumbling for The luckless buyer saw that in biding a cow ho was himself sold, and wisely conoluded to say no more about it but somehow the affair "leaked aut," and is always sure to create a hearty laugh when releated by those who were acquainted with old John, and can render it in his irresitible style.

On another occasion old John sold a horse to a stranger. The animal's fine points were enlaiged upon in the vigorous style of the seller, and among them was the horse's- "peculiar faculty" ot going up a hill. "I tell you, f-triend," said old Sohn, with a significant nod ot the head, "he'll s-snake a load j-1ust like n-n-nothing, and w-when he comes to a h-h-hill, you'd 1-laugh to see him go u-iip it J" And so a trial proved, for the very first opportunity the buyer had of testing his new purchase's merit in up-grade travel was a total failure! Arrived at the foot of the hill, the animal positively refused to budge another foot, and no effort of tongue or whip could change his resolution. The buyer was not long in realizing the truth of old John's assertion he would, indeed, have been willing to laugh to see his load going up the hill, and himself relieved of his vexatious situation. But herein consisted the joke, and despite his efforts to "get damages," he never succeeded, save when he made the unfortunate trade, as was generally the case with all of old John's customers. iv

GETTING INSURED.—A

thin, cadaver

ous-looking German, about fifty years of age, entered the office of a health insurance company in Philadelphia, the other day, and inquiredI: "Ish de man in what inshures de people's helts?"

Tne agent politely answered: I attend to that business, sir." "Veil, I vants my helts inshured vot you charge?"

Different prices," answered the agant "from three to ten dollars a year. Pay ten dollars a year, and you gel ten dollars a week in case of sickness."

Veil," said mynheer, "I vants ten dollars' vort." The agent inquired his state of health. "Veil, I ish sick all de time. I'm shust out de bed two, tree hours a day, and de doctor says he can't do noting more goot for me."

If that's the state of your health," returned the agent, "we can't insure it. We only insure persons who are in good health."

At this Mynheer bristled up in great anger. You must tink I'se a pig fool! Vot! you tink I pay you ten dollars for inshure my helt ven I vas veil?"

THE

Tribune says that "he who polls

an illegal vote, or incites another to poll one, is a more flagrant and dangerous felon than a mere burglar and forger." This remark has a basis of truth, and yet is somewhat extravagant. We quote it only to show the value in which the Tribune holds tbe ballot. That journal opposes any attempt to deny to one honest citizen the legitimate influence which should follcw the exercise of an honest ballot. Whosoever interferes with such a citizen's ballot is, according to the Tribune, one of the worst of bad characters. But tbe Tribue itself interferes with the right of one-half the citizens of the Republic to tbe ballot. According to the Tribune's philosophy, what ought to be thought of the Tribune itself [Golden Age. 7

LITTLE JOHNNY was rejoicing in the possession ot his first knife. He sat on the doorstep cutting tho end of an old broomstick that bad once been used to poke tbe fire with, snd was consequently charred black on the outside.

Each shaving removed revealed the whiteness of tho wood beneath. His mother stood in the doorway watching the colored "help" wheeling garbage from the yard into the street.

Just as Sam passed with a load, Johnny looked up and said "Mamma, did God make Sam

Yes, my son why do you ask T" Very diligently pursuing his whittling, Johnny replied, "Well, mamma, he didn't whittle him enough, you

THE

police ot this city made a descent

upon some of the concert-saloons one evening last week, and marched a large number of unfortunate girls to the lock-up. But with that peculiar disregard of all the claims of justice and honor they allowed the "gentlemen" customers of the saloons to depart in peace, without even charging them to "go, sin no more." If this is manly, it is anything but fair and humane, and is another illustration of tbe one-sidedness of our masculine laws, which clutch a woman with a giant's grip, and let a man who is equally guilty slip through his fingers.—[Golden Age. »,t.

THERE is sometimes a rre|i deal of significance in a simple flag, and nobody can deny that it has a great influence over men's minds. The city physician at Omaha the other day placed a red flag before a house used for tbe reception of small-pox patients. At first quite a crowd gathered at that point and began to get impatlect for the auction to begin, but when they learned the real significance of the "silken emblem" they scattered on the double quick.

TWAS

while the refulgent rays of

the last moon shed a soft, pale light over tbe sand-hills of Jackson county, and in tbe season that tbe frozen ground was crimsoned over with the file's blood ot hundreds ol porkers which fell beneath the well-directed blows of tbe relentless executor, that Miss Maggie felt her heart pierced by Cupid's darts." The above is an extract from the last effort of the romandat of tbe Brownstown Banner.

Tn reason why so few marriage# are happy because young ladles spend their time in making nets, not in making

Old Emery wan, at one period of his career, celebrated for his personification of lb* incorruptible but tenderhearted sentinel in "Pizarro." One evening "Pizarro" was advertised, and the audience, having waited beyond the usual time for the curtain to rise, became impatient, when at length an actor came forward and informed the audience, that, in consequence of the absence ol a principal performer, they were obliged to request a few minutes' longer indulgence. Tho actor was scarcely off' the stage, when Mr. John Kemble, dressed Rolla, walked on and said "Ladies and gentlemen, at the request of the principal performers in the play this evening, I tun to inform you, that the person alluded to is Mr.

Emery The house received this explanation without any expression of disHppoiutment. Scarcely had Mr. Kemble quilted the stage, when, dressed in a greatcoat and dirty boots, his face red with haste and wet with perspiration, on rushed the culprit. Emery stayed some moments before the audience, apparently much agitated, and at length delivered himself to this effect: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the nrst time I have ever had occasion to appear before you as an apologist. As I have been the sole cause of the delay in your entertainment, allow me shortly to offer my excuse when I am sure I shall obtain an acquittal, especially from the fair part of this brilliant assemblage. Ladies (for you I most particularly address,) my wife"—and here the poor fellow's feelings almost overcame him—"my wife was but an hour since brought to bed, and I"— thunders of applause interrupted the apology—"I ran for tho doctor—" "You've said enough!'' exclaimed a hundred tongues. "I could not leave her, ladies, until I knew she was safe—" "Brave, Emery, you've said enough!" was re-echoed from all parts of the house. Emery was completly overpowered, and after another attempt to proceed, retired, having first placed his hand upon his heart, and bowed gratefully to all parts of the house. The play proceeded without interrution, but it appeared Emery had not forgotten his obligation to Kemble for, in the scene before the prison, in which Rolla tries to corrupt the sentinel by money, the following strange interruption occurred in the dialogue: —"Rolla: "Have you a wife?" Sentinel: "I have." Rolla: "Children?" Sentinel: "I had two this morning, I have got three now." Loud applause followed this retaliation, which continued so long, that the entire effect of the scene was lost and Mr. Kemble, after waiting some time in awkward confusion, terminated it by abruptly rushing into the prison.

A GREAT WHALER.

Mv friend, the major, was the teller of tough stories, aud always made himself the hero ot them.

I was aware that he had at one time been stationed at Portsmouth, New Hampshire and as I had been told that a whale was once killed in that vivicinity, I incidentally asked him if he ever heard ol the circumstance.

Why, my dear fellow," said he, "I was the very man that killed him." I was not a little surprised at this, and requested him to give me an account of the affair, which he did in the following words:

It was reported to me one day that a large sperm whale had been spouting about two miles below Portsmouth,ana there had been every indication to induce the belief that he was coming up to the town, whereupon I called out my boat's crew, manned my barge, and seizing a harpoon that

At length however, he turned down stream for a few miles, then coming about again he wfent up the river, and in this mtfnner he Continued carrying us up and down stream tor three successive days snd nights. Wiring all of #hlch time I stood si the t»w of the tost, axe In hsnd, resdy tocit the har-

Kes.

n-rope in oaaehe should take us out This contingency

I inquired of

FEBRUARY 10, 187*.

A NOVEL APOLOGY. MEN

I

happened to

have, set off in pursuit, and soon came alongside him, and I fortunately succeeded at the very first cast in fastening the harpoon in him. "The monster made some terrific struggles to extricate himself but not succeeding, set off furiously up the river with a barge in tow.

did not occur

however, and st tbe expiration of tbe time specified the vfuris tfecame so exbsostoffttiat he wasesdijr killed and landed, and he sflforded-sn enormous amount of oil."

the

Major if he did not

suffer from hunger during those three days and nights. He replied: "No our friends threw provisions into the boat as we swiftly passed bsck and forth under the bridge at Portsmouth."

.."•J A RUINED FARMER. A Chicago paper tells about another farmer who has been ruined by Mr. Greeley's insane theories. Horac, it appears, went out to inspect this man's farm, and daring the visit he advised his host to publish some kind of a new-fangled, duplex-elliptic, burglarproof steam plow, belonging to a misguided miscreant who advertises in the Tribune.

The confiding sgriculturist bought one of those plows and paid six hundred dollars for it. The first time he took it out in the field the throttle valve got out of order and the machine started off with a spurt.

It ran over the farmer's oldest boy, killing bim on the spot it tore down two dozen pannels of fence swooped into the stack-yard set fire to three thousand bushels of grain cut the leggs off of a short-born cow ripped forty peach trees up by the roots burst into the bouse, upsetting the stove and crushing the cook to death dashed through the parlor, gouging a furrow in the Brussels carpet, and devastating the piano snorted out through tbe wall, leaving the edifice a crumbling ruin went cahooting down the road, whistling and puffing and carrying on generally like mad, until it reached the school-house.

Into that seat of learning it swooped with a wild and awful yell, and, jamming up against tbe blsckboard, it burst its boiler, scalding eighteen scholars to death, and distributing tbe schoolmaster in microscopic fragments around over the four adjoining counties.

And now, if you wish to cause that former to act insanely—if you desire to see that deluded agriculturist lie down on tbe floor and tear bis bair and groan and roll over and bowl—Just ask birn if he intends to vote for Horace Greeley for President.

A WOMAN in Marysville, California, whose canary had left her, hung the empty cage outside tbe window and soon bad tbe satisfaction of seeing it occupied by a beautiful brown stranger about tbe size of her lost pet. A own Francisco woman, whose husband bad abandoned her, took the hint and rendered her parlor so attractive that soon she had, safe in her arms, better, bigger, browner fellow than be who

UEKN ANNE? 8

Thrice had England risen on the wave of advaneing thought to singular eminence. Tbe Protestant reform of tbe reign of Elizabeth had given birth to a throng of stately intellects, original, vigorous, creative. A second movement of the popular mind toward honesty and austerity bad produced a Milton and a Hampden. And now by a third impulse, the narrow realm of the good Queen Anne was raised to the first rank among European powers. Scarcely, indeed, had the dull prejudices o' feudalism passed away, and it is still the fashion with tbe eminent and the wise to trace their descent trom Norman Robbers or Saxon thanes, to indulge iu the ostentation of rank, and lay claim to a fancied superiority. It was still held more honorable to have come from a knightly race, whose mailclad hands had been stained with Moslem blood, who had shown in the guilty revelries of barbarous courts, and had abandoned learning to clerks and priests, than to possess the wit of

Addison or the genius of Bacon. The people were still contemned yet from the rising vigor of the people had sprung almost every one of the wits, the courtiers, and the statesmen who had made the dull Anne tbe arbitress of Europe.

Anne had herself inherited her sober virtues from the honest yeomanry of her mother's family the corrupt influences of the Stuarts were tempered by the regular habits of the riydes. Marlborough, tbe savior of Germany, had risen from comparative obscurity by every unworthy artifice, as well as by his successful sword Halifax, the orator and wit, had come up to London with an ingenious fable and fifty pounds a year, and had been pampered into unhappy satiety, like the city mouse of his own tale Somers rose from poverty and insignificance St. John was married to the descendant of a wealthy clothier Harley covered his obscure origin by a fancied genealogy and the ruling caste of England, in this gifted age, was formed in great part of men who were prepaired to recognize personal merit, since they had found it the source of their own success.

Tbe clouded fame of Marlborough has sensibly decayed few now care to pursue the devious intrigues ot Bolingbroke and Oxford but from tbe successful reign of Queen Anne still gaze down upon us a cluster of thoughtful faces whose lineaments the world will never cease to trace with interest, and to whom mankind must ever turn with grateful regard. One fair, soft countenance alone is always serene. No lines of fierce struggles or of bitter discontent, of brooding madness or of envious rage, disturb that gentle aspect. A delicate taste, a tranquil disposition, a clear sense ot the vanity of human passions and.of all earthly aims, have softened and subdued tfie mental supremHcyof Addison. To some he has seemed feeble for many he wants the tire of genius. But 'multitudes in every age have been held willing captives by the lively play of his unwearied fancy, his melodious periods, his tenderness and truth have yielded to a power that is never asserted, and to an art that is hidden in the simplicity of a master. By his side gleams out from the mists of centuries the severe and intellectual countenance ot Alexander Pope. Bitter, treacherous, and cruel, magnanimous and full of moral vigor, the teacher ot honesty and independence, the poet of Queen Anne's age still holds his high place in the temple of fame. His versification, so novel and so perfect to his contemporaries, has long sunk into monotony under countless imitators his satiric vigor is no longer felt the splendor of his artifice and the glitter ot bis rhetoric amaze rather than delight yet while literature endures, the wise sentences and the keen insight ot the philosophic poet will instruct and guide his race.

Gentle Parnell and penBive Gay, the vigorous thought and powerful diction of tbe corrupt St. John, tbe honest aspirations of a dissipated Sfteele toward ideal virtue, the melody of Tickell, tbe inventive genius of Defoe, the rude criticism of Dennis, the wit of Arbuthnot, and some few lines ot Prior, survive from tbe faded glories of the age and memorable above his contemporaries by bis griefs, his brooding madness, his fierce and unsparing pride, the dark and troubled aspect of Swift looks down over the waste of time. There was never any thing of trust or joy in his solemn eyes. There is neither faith nor hope in the "Tale of a Tub" or "Gulliver's Travels." He came into life already weary of existence, and left it in tbe gloom of madness.—[From "The Days of Queen Anne," by Eugene Lawrence, in Harper's Magazine tor February.

HOW TO INCREASE WEALTH. The Chicago Times is responsible for the following disquisition:

Mr. Smith, of Ogle County, who is a philosopher as well as a statesman, tells the public that "a promissory note for a horse enriches a State as much as a horse." Mr. Smith has, further, discovered that "promissory notes are constantly and silently enriching the owners thereof, and are as tangible and as much property as a section of land.

Tbe advantages of Mr. Smith's discovery will be obvious to people who have been wishing that somebody would find a way by which Jhey can increase their wealth indefinitely, without any more laborious effort than is involved in tne process of arithmetical multiplication. Mr. Smith has discovered the long-desired method of getting rich without work. It consists simply in multiplying wealth by issuing promissory notes, after the manner of the now nearly extinct race of wild-cat and stumptail bankers.

Mr. Smith and bis friend Mr. Cunningnam (who certifies to the excellence of Mr. Smith's discovery), own, each of them, a horse. In other respects they are as poor as Job. Each of them, "by the use of his horse, is able to earn a living, and no more. But each of them drsires very much to be a rich man, and the owner of two horses. Mr. 8mith had Just made his wonderfbl discovery that a promissory note is capital, and that tbe easiest way to increase capital is to make promissory notes. He goes to bis friend Mr. Cunningham ana explains bis discovery, which Mr. Cunningham admirers very much. "Now," says Mr. Smith, "give me your horse and I will give you my promissory note for its •due. You will be as rich as you are now, and I, having two horses instead of one, will be twice as rich ss I am now. Between ns. you see, we shall nave added one-third to tbe amount of our capital." Thua, Mr. Cunningham and Mr. Smith strike a bargain, and then Mr. Cunningham, who wants to grow rich as feat as Mr. Smith, proposes bargain. "Give me your two horses." aays Mr. Cunningnsm, "and I will give yon my promissory note for their value, Yon will be as rich as yon are now, because yon will have capital (promissory notes, yon know, are capital,) of the Talne of two horses, while I shsU hare two horses snd note of the

value of a third horse therefore, I shall be three times as rich as I am now, and our united health will be the| value of five horses instead of two, asp it was at the commencement of our rapid increase in wealth under the operation of your valuable discovery." And so, Messrs. Street and Cunninghain kept on trading horses and promissory notes with each other until each, from being as poor as Job, gets to be ast rich as Cropsus! iv

Tho only thing which tends to quali-^ fy one's admiration of Mr. Smith's^ merits as a discoverer, is the fact that his plan for increasing the wealth of State is not quite original. It is identical with that of the four-and-twenty, Connecticut Yankees, who, being im-: prisoned together in an apartment with which there was no possible means o£. external communication, made, iu the course of twelve hours, two and-six-pence apiece swapping jack-knives.

THE LAZIEST MAN.

A long time ago, when we used to, haye our general militia musters for Westchester county, at White Plains,^ when the Hon. Gen. Aaaron Ward wass the Colonel, there lived at that time all. over the county, three of the laziest

1

men the sun ever shone on, and known as Crazy Lawrence, Possum Joel, and&f Stuttering D,ave. It so happened tbat» at one of our grand local training days the said three layy men—I presume by sympathy—got together and sat sunning themselves, like snakes in the spring of the year, when our Colonel aud several of his officers chanced top pass that way. As soon as the Colonel., saw the men he remarked to those witb him "There sit the three laziest men in the county, and I would give a dollar to know which is the laziest man of tue three!"

Suiting the action t© the word, hec.. took from his pocket a silver dollar and threw it on the ground, a few yards iu front of the men, and said,*

There is a dollar for the laziest man^ and now decide who he is." Crazy Lawrence commenced crawling on his hands and knees, toward the

F'm

rize, saying, "It's mine I'm lazy— laziest." Not so fast," says the Colonel "let us see what the other two say to that."

Possum Joel then put up his claim?® by rolling over toward the dollar, saying, "It is mine. I am too lazy to creep for it." f:

Wait a moment," says the Colonel»wait a momont, and let HS hear frotnDave."

Dave bad safcthe whole time perfectly unmoved, and smoking a short pipe. The Colonel said, "Dave, what have1 you got to say about the dollar?"

Dave deliberately took the pipe out of his mouth and coolly drawled out. We-we-well, Cur-cur-Curnel, I'm' to h-h-have the do-do-dolar, y-y you ma-ma-mmt put it in ma ina-tny pocket!" He then put the pipe in his mouth, and the "Curnel" put the dollar in Dave's pocket.

VOLTAIRE'S DYSPEPSIA CURE. A correspondent of the Hartford Times safs: In the Memoirs of the-' Count Segur, vql. ii, page 108, there isthe following anecdote:

My mother (the Countess de Segur, being asked by Voltaire respecting her health, told him that the most painful feeling she had arose from tho decay of her stomach, and the difficulty of finding any aliment it could bear. VoK taire, by way of consolation, assured® her that he was once for nearly a yoar in the same state, and believed to bo incurable, but that a very simple remedy had cured him. It consisted in taking no other nourishment than the yolk ot eggs, beaten up with flour of potatoes ana water.

Mode of preparation as recommended: by Sir John Sinclair: Beat up an eggs in a bowl then add six tablespoonsftil of cold water mix the whole wells together then add two tablespoonsfuls ot the farina of potatoes, to be mixed,? thoroughly with the liquor in the bowl then pour in as much boiling water aa will convert tbe whole into a jelly, andj. mix it well. It may be taken either alone or with a little milk and sugar. Not only tor breakfast, but in cases of great stomach debility, or consumptive disorders, at other meals. The dish is light, easily digested, extremely, wnolesome and nourishing. Bread or biscuit may be taken with it as the stomach gets stronger.

ANBCDOTK OF WIOFALIJ.—A Texas**

secessionists of Texas and the Sontb, felt, after Lee's surrender, somewhat embarrassed as to bis corporeal safety in a land then in possession of his enemies. He left Richmond in disguise, and traveled on mulebaek, alone, for Texas. Dick Taylor bad also surrendered, and all the ferries and crossings were in the hands of the Federal forces. Wigfall could pursue no other course but to risk himself to be put across the Mississippi by a detachment of Union soldiers. He was well disguised. Observing that no allusion was made to himself, and wishing to know, if posBible, bow the wind blew, he began ar

Sederates,

general tirade against the leading Conwinding up by inquiring what would be done witb that scamp Wigfall if they should catch him. Tbe soldiers replied, they supposed they, would bang him. Yes, they would** do exactly right, and I would^uM ai

one end of ihe rope replied Wigfall, mounting his mule and trotting off westward.—^Editor's Drawer, in Bar-

mountin

•ol

per's Magazine for February,

A WIFE having lost her husband, was inconsolable for bis death. "Leave me to mv grief," she said, sobbing, "yon know tbe extreme sensibility of my nerves—a mere nothing upsets them.'

A WYANDOTTE(Ills.) journalist saves time and ink by dating his letters "Y A."

03

THB Bulky Attachment allow* a plowman to ride, aad to good work, either in *od or old iKraund, and so reduces the draft -that the horses do no more work.

It can be used with any plow.

It can be UM

GOO Hamilton Plow* tor the sea«ea»on ot 1872. Hamilton Plows are Just a shade lower than any rither, and very much better. Inquire of any one who is using

(1SAYH YYESlli

them or of JOHKS 6C JOWES.

BUT dots der vay, nnd der more yoa llf der longer you find It oat,

I'm bappey mlt my Hamilton Plow, It makes me laugh and sboud, You know yourself, how Is It and bow II an na'sder matter mlt das. It eost me no more as noting now high op dat was?

A BOY or a gir). an old man, a man with one )fij can work with a fhtlky Al-

Any plow, sod or old can ne used with t?

8M itat Joxos Jonas'.

ought to sell tbe%nUOB Plow Icwar" tasn any oaa.