Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 2, Number 26, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 23 December 1871 — Page 2

l* fe.

KENTUCKY JOKERS.

i, during the Presidential canbich rnnlled In tiM election of that the writer of the apetch, in company with three from Pad oca to

£&

other pcilHeUns, rode Baflloit, Ky., in a hack. They were bound for one of the old-fashioned barbacoes, and he tells what happened on the way thus:

The joking Judge M. was one of the party, and the bottle that peeped oat frsm the banket under the seat seemed to Improve the sparkle of his wit, the flavor of his jokes, and the music of bis laugh, until the happy contagion even reached the driver.

Onr fun sat its highest, when, on turning a carve in the road, we saw, down iui hoi. dusty si retch, a solitary ox-c»rt, with its owner perched upon wh it proved to be bags of corn. As a kind of advance guard, a great ugly brindie do e»ne trotting along in advance,

HWI,

attracted by our noise, he

threw himself into an attitude of aeft anoe, determined to dispute our advanoe. With bis savage growl, red eyes, and er»*ct bristles, he indeed presented a formidable appearance. Judge M. could not let such an opporti-nity for a practical joke pass. Haiti be:

I'll liet the drinks for the day that I oan ran that dog off the road." 1" Done," aaid we.

Stopping our hack, be got out, and threw the skirts of his "swallow-tail-ed" eoat over bis shoulders, stuck his ,'t old sloueh bat on the back of bis head, and going down on "all fours," he -4, scampered toward the dog with the moat rrightful yells, reminding one of the fable of the aas In the lion skin.

This was too much tor the dog, and, bowling with fright, be took to the bfash. The oxen also saw the fearful monster coming down the road, and with one wild bellow they took to the brash, with their tails standing straight out behind. Away they went, with wheels bouncing high in the air, bags of corn bursting open, and spilling their contents in a continuous drill.

Wh«a. Blase! Whoa, Ball! O, Lordy! wi at hbali 1 do?" cam* from the frightened man on the cart, as he was bounding fr side to side, now grabbing a curt-pole, then catching at a bag of corn as it went over the side.

Thia kind of performance couldn't last long without a change for better or worse, and so it came for worse, as the osen went tearing down the steep bank of a little creek and overturned everything in the water, about waist deep. One ni, getting loose, went up the op posite bunk and soon disappeared, while the other cowered down in pite oos bellowing as we catne up to the aoene of disaster. There stood the poor man in water to hia waist, his wagon overturned, and half hia corn soaking In the water, while the other half was

scattered in the woods. He looked '•cared and pitiful, and aiid "O, Lordy, stranger, don't never do that ar any more. I'm ruined

WHS

a splendid success, that joke,

and there stood tbe Judge holding on to a sapling and laughing till tho tears ran down on his check**.

We took up a sulmcrlptinn tor the poor fellow. The Judge headed the list with an amount nearly covering the damages, and wo added to it until we led the man in thankfulness that he had sold hi* corn

S•oni

compared with those of a

ri vale family, are by law debarred It-el ing* common to humanity, jand froin all froe action. They cannot fill in love Without the consent of the Crown tliey may be over head and ears in that paaa'ion, nut It must remain a dead letter to them utiles.* the sovereign in council permits its indulgence. "The King fr a wife must choose some ^ProtcMianl princess he lias never seen but this he must do lor the sake of his J»i*o|lt\ mid to smut re a Protestant sueo»t*or mid his heir comes into ihe -world, not in the privacy of the domestic household, but in the presence of a crowd ot the great officer* ot State.

All the tender feeling* engendered In Ihe private family, all the closest relations of parent and child, must be disregarded as if they had no existence. Much is tlic penalty of the exalted rank, and the sacrifice royaltv mint make In •.return for the very Inadequatecotnp»»nttion ot power and dignity. The Sovereign. ttie Executive liranch of tit* «livertiui ut, is also intrusted by the itistitutioit 1th large discretionary

riHiiind

wt rs In governing his imnily but be to exercise such powers not aeeonllngto his own ncy, or for the

fratIHeation

of his private feeling* or

idividu caprices, but in such a man ner as *h dl most conduce to the coin »on weal. All the power h» has, and every act he perform*. Is as sovereign, and not as a private person.—[Lord Brougham's Lite and Times, vol. 2.

DKAFNKHSOFTHI A«K».—Nothing is more common than to hear old people a l»r querulous complaints with regard to their increasing deafness but those wln»do«o

Hre

this Infirmity Is the result of an ex-

Sence

reMt nd wise arrangement of froviin constructing the humin bud v. The gradii' I loss of hearing Is effected Par the best of purposes it being to give esse snd quietude to the decline ot lift1, when *nv noises or sound"* from without would out disrwtnpoee the enfoebled mind, and prevent peaceful meditstlon. Indeed, the gradual withdrawn! of sll the senses, and the perceptible decay of the flrame. in old age, have been wisely ordained in order to wean the human mind from the eon ecm« md pleasures of the world, snd to induce a longing for a more perfect •tale of existence.

RDWARP Rmm UAH if not exactly prophet, is cer alnlv one of tbe Vise Men of the East. He has purehssed an endowment Insurance policy on Ms linn, payable ten years hence. In order ttout he'tnavbesble to send his K»\s to college. "Vat. strange to say, he'ha* mede no provision for sending hie girls to college. Is It b«wose he Uinks that the latter are so mnch smarter than the former, that they will go while the boys must he sent The Of might Is certainly remarkshle. Surely ihe author of a "Man without a Country." would not think of leaving daughter without so education.— [Golden Age.

LOOK

Young Folks

lOUBLE ACROSTIC.

The finals belong to tbe initials. 1. An obeisance. 2. A monster. S. A stamp. 4, Fit. 8KI.

CHARADE.

My second is tbe name of a fisherman, My whole is the name of the fish he caught. My first was ever his condition in life, Though early and late the fisherman wrought. TEMPI,

CHANGES

Change the center letter of one fiver and leave another. ADOLPH M. NAOEI*

Change the center of a kind of coin and leave wbat it is made of. Change the center of a kitchen uten sil and leave a toilet article.

Change the center letter of a relative and leave what he is sure to do. ... DOT.

A MATHEMATICAL CATCH. My first is one fifth of a franc. My second one fourth of four gills. My third is one tenth of five quarts. My fourth is one fifth of sixteen drachms. My fifth is one fifth of sixteen ounces My sixth is one seventh ot a furlong. My seventh is one fourth cf eight fur-

My eiglitb is one sixth of a gallon. My ninth 4s one fourth ot four roods. My tenth is one eighth of a cord foot. My last is one sixth of a bushel.

Mv whole is that lor which the editors offer a bound copy of Hearth and Home.

HIDDEN CITIES.'

1. Do you remember Lina Morton? 2. My brother, while iu tbe war, saw much suffering. 3. The rat ran under tbe cellar steps. 4. They say that Charles is the beat boy in school. LOTTIK.

ANAGRAMS. (Names of cities.)

1. Axe or bud. 2. Sea sod. 3. Clean etew.

well. At the bar

becue the Judge bet all nis money on a little horse racet and lost, and from ^that, and the eflects ot his drinks at our expanse, we bad to carry him to onr ick on a barn door. On his way bo me he insisted upotj HMiui^g^u. his

I .Which fTaa the rained man JlTIHLKK JBNKS.

LORD BROUGHAM ON ROYAL CHILDREN. Between the family of a sovereign ami the children of a -uhject there is nothing In common. The momlters of a royal

4. Grub to Linn. 6. KateC. Tunn. %, Chore, rest.

Is THBRK

not perhaps aware that

E.L.K.

ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS, CHARADES Ac. IN LAST WEEK'S PAPER.

Double Acrostic.—1. Charles. 2. Anna. 3. Lilac. 4. Indian-rubber. 5. Florida, tt. Oakum, 7. R-ire. 8. Noon. 9. Islet. 10. Alto, California, Sacramento.

Cross-word Enigma.—Aunt Sue. Numerical Enigma.—Always speak the truth.

Aritbiuorem.—Hollow, embryo, nov el» rascal, yoke, whereof, loving, omen. Henry W. Longfellow.

Drop-letter puzxle.—A bird in the hand fa worih two in tho bush. Hidden Rivers.—1. Indus. 2. Thames.

Don. 4. Nile, 6. Jordan. 6. Tagus. Anagrams.—1. Euioiuiueuts. 2. Legitimate. 3. Transparency. 4. Beneficent. 5. Lineaments. 6. Elalwration.

Paramount. 8. Physiological. 9. Accredited. H). Communities. Pi.—Greatness of uiiud i9 always compassionate.

PITTING FROM SMALL-POX. The terribhV seaming and pitUng nt i, uecio' and other exposed parts body, consequent upon the s«»vere attacks ot the small pox, are well known. It Is noticeable, however, that tho 8«jalp is always ex mpted from marks, even after the severest form of the disease, tbe covering afforded by he hair preserving it from pitting. Kctnemliering this fact it recently ocurred to an En lish physician, while watching a photographer using cottonwool to shut out light in the process of vignetting" photographs, th it the material, if applied to the twee and neck of small |Hx patterns, might give a protecting influence tnewhat similar that afforded to the scalp by the hair, ami thereby prevent or modify the subsequent pitting. Having under treatment a couple ot cases of conva lescetu small-pox, he therefore applied cotton-wool to protect the face. The disease in each case was of the distinct form. One of the two, a girl, aged titteen vear-, had an abundant eruption, which, in the unprotected parts of the body, went through the usual consecutive'ehanges. In both cases the parts covered by the wool were left without a vestige of irks. The mode ol application was as follows: On the first appearance of the eruption, pitches of skin about an Inch square re washed over with collodion, and immediately covered with a thin uniform layer of fine wool the wool readily adheres if applied before the ether of the collodion evaporates. When the whole ot the face, etc.. was thus covered, the wool was brushed over with a solution ot starch or gum. The starch or gum was occasionally reapplied to the ••dgBS of the wool to prevent any shifting by the movements tbe face. This covering was kept on until the dry crusts fell off the other parts of the body. In view of the results of the experiment, the mode of treatment woula seem worthy of further trial. at

ANY

Her

p«)e and Interesting Is ma-

•Meivd by many to be the first qualltl est ton for appearing (feminine sod ia-

a»(•'

llks, and with this end in view thev diet of chalk, slate pMdli and ytehtan.

MOTBM Hnwtf-A

little girl once followed tbe workmen from her father's grounds, when they went home to their dinner, because she was very fond of a kind old man, who was one of them. When he looked from bis door, be saw her sitting ou a log. waiting for hiin snd invited her to go into tbe cottage. She looked In, aaw the strange faces around tbe table, and bsaitated. When he urged her, she rai»nd her sweet little fece and inquired:

Is there any mother In there?" Yea, mv dear, there is a mother la here." he answered. •40h! then 1*11 go In for Pin not afraid if there's a mother there."

child's experience td told her she could place confidence in mother's svmpathiea. A borne may be smsll "and mean, but |r it is the shrine of a mother's love, it Is a «ppier pl*o» than a palace would be without this Messed pmence.

Rjrv. DsWrrr TALMAMK, who preaches to a congrwrstion of weuty five hundred at the Brooklyn Tabernacle. sddrewws eeveral congregations of readers through tbe rellsious papers IHsHondav niornlngaeruions are print ed In the aletbcslist of this city, and the Cnristian Age and the Christian World of London and now tbe Age but up. plied tor the exclusive privilege of printing his Snnday evening s^ruiooa. The Interior, of Chlca***, announces bis Friday evening leeturea. A man who oan preach r^fulariy to five difhmii rongrecrftiooeeertalnty has the opportunity of exerting vast Inline not* for good and if Mr. TslmadM satlefien the Intermi he baa swskeimi. be will do better th »n say popular preacher in tbe •rorld.—[Golden A|«.

Kremer retorted ns follows

ft DOUBT XO LT

TKRRR-HAPTE SATURDAY EYBN1NG MAIL, DECEMBER 23J87I

A FIREPROOF MAN.

About the year 1889, one Lionetto, a Spaniard, (writea a French chsmis*,) astonished not only the Ignorant, but chemists and other men or science, in France, Germany, Italy, and EngUnd, by the impunity with which he handled red hot iron and molten lead, drank boiling oil, and performed other feats equally miraculous. While he was at Naples, he attracted the notice of Professor Sementeni, who narrowly watched all bis operations, and endeavored to discover his secret. He observed, in the first place, that, when Lionetto applied a piece of red hot iron to his hair, dense lumes immediately rose from it, and tbe ssme occurred when he touched his toot with tbe iron. He also saw hitu place a rod of iron, nearly red hot, between his teeth, without tiurning himself, drink tbe third of a teaspoonful of boiling oil, and, taking up molten lead with nis fingers, place it on bis tongue without apparent inconvenience. Sementeni's eflorts,after performing seve.al experiments upon himself, were finally crowned with success. He lound that by frietion with sulphuric acid diluted with water, the skin oiigut be made inseusible to the action of tbe beat of red hot iron a solution ot alum, evaporated until it became spongy, appeared to be aiore effectual in these frictions. After having rubbed tbe parts which were thus rendered, in some degree, iusenslble, with hard soap, be discovered, on tbe application of not iron, thai theii in sensibility was increased. He thea determined on again rubbing the farts with soap, and after this found that tbe hot iron not only occasioned no faiu, but that it actually did not burn tbe hair. Being thus far satisfied, the Profeasor applied hard soap to his toague until it became iusenstble to the beat of the iron and having placed an ointment, composed of soap mixed with a solution of alum, upon it, boiling oil did not burn it while the oil remaned on the tongue, a slight hissing was heard, similar to that of hot iron when thrust into water the oil soon uocled, and might then be swallowed wit lout danger. Several scientific men lave since, it is said, successfully repe»ted the experiments of Professor Seucbnteni, hut we would not recoinintad any but professionals to try theexferitncnts.

UEO&GE KREMER AND JOEN RANDOLPH. Col. Forney writes iu his "Anecdates of Public Men:"

A good siory is told of the celebrated George Kremer, who figured conspicuously during tbe "bargain and s4e" excitement, forty-five years ago. He was firmly convinced that Mr. Gay threw bis influence against Gen. Jaikson, by whicb tbe electoral vote of Kinlucky was given to Mr. Adams, f«ra consideration. Jno. Randolph, of Roinokedeclared upontl.eaccusaiion gaiis Clay to such an extent that the iSw Secretary of Slate was compelledjui lUt

challenge hi in to mortal combat. Jul 1 do uot propose a chapter on the "lirdn and sale." Ttiat episode is hamily ignored by tbe retiring generatite, and la no longer recalled as a reprogih on the memory of Henry Clay. I write simply to revive an incident betw4ji Randolph and Kremer, character! of both.

After one of the peculiar speeches^)! the eccentric Virginian, which larded with copious quotatto in and Greek, Kremer rose strain of well-acted indignaUoj ed forth a torrfentof Pen jfsylfiiW uian upon tbefeead of tbe amused' artd startled Randolph. His violent gesliu illations, his loud lioUterou* tones, bis defiant manner, were not more annoyin to the imperious southerner than the fact that be could not understand a word th was spoken. And when honest George took his seat, covered with perspiration, Randolph rose and lie^ged the honorable gcnlletn from Pennsylvania to enlighten the bouse »nd the country by translating wbat be id just uttered.

have

»nly to say in reply to my friend from Virginia that when he translates ibe dead languages, wtiich be is constantly usimr for tlie benefi of us country members, Into something like Knglish, I will le equally liberal in translating my living Pennsylvania Dutch into 'nething thai the house can understand The laugh was completely against Randolph.

JAPANESE UROQ SHOP. The grog-shops of Japan re neither inore or less than leu-shops. All along the public roads, at treqnent distances, are planted pleasant tea-houses. They •tea," according to a correspondent, when they must stop by the wayside, and in sn'cb little bits oi sups that one could drink the contents of twenty of ihem, stid then want more. Pretty tea-girls stand by ihe entrain*, snd (there teeth not yet blackened) witli pretty ways and courtesies so faacin »tingtn it tea even withoutsug or milk becomes agreeable. On pretty I u-quer-ed waiters the tea-girls hand you little tiny cups with a uiou'hftil in thcin, and you squ it down on the nlcecle tnals, if squ it you can, and you sip, and sip this mouthful of hot lea. as if the gods' nectar was going down your throat in infinitesim drops of microscopic Invisibility. The keeper of a Jap in teahouse picks out as pretty a place for the ten-house as he or she can gel. Tne keeper covets, if pos«itle, a view of and the air of the 11 ty of Yeddo, along which tbe most ot the way here runs the Toc-ddo. The grand tes-bouse is cut up into numerous little rooms, with paper partitions to part them, running on slides, but sll removable at wilt, to restore the whole to one grand room. Cakes, sweetmeats, and candies are brought in with tbe tea. all put on the clean matted floor (there are no seats), and all squat or stretch out on that floor.—[E. J. Paper.

Mr. Jamee Flak's sins

are more in nuinbttr tbsn the sands on tbe seashore, and each particular sin is ssarlet-hued but he has caused more litigation, and given tbe lawyers more business, and con used tbe brains of mors judges, than any other man alive. TV) bn sure he is not the first man who «s confounded the judges but with a railroad and a line of steamers in one

pocket, snd an Oper* House tn the oth er. and a judge and a whole bevy of! «°l*» doe*. Then* words lawyers in his hat. he has demonstrat- on a propM*™" ed tb hu is a talking man.—[Golden "I10.**«eek

Very well, DnoHttle, shoot

oat

sway,

LOWRTH FANCY CAT. Jim Stewart, sometimes called "The Commodore," is the moat noted darkey in Erie. He is good-natured, shrewd sort of fellow, somewhat addicted to doing bnsiness now and tben on the Jeremy Diddler style, as the following incident will testify: Living near the residence of the Hon. Morrow C. Lowry, he was frequently employed by the latter to do odd jobs around the honse and in tbe garden. One day Mr*. Lowry concluded that tbe peccadillos ot a worthless torn cat long an attache of the family, were such as demanded the infliction of a capital punishment, and Jim was called upon to play tbe part of executioner. After a long chine, the victim was captured and put in a basket over which an old shawl was securely astened. The next move was, h»w to dispose of the prisoner. Mrs. Lowry suggested drowning, but Jim, with (ears in his eyes, protested that he could no more drown "that ere cat" than could "drown bisseit that were be to do so, bis conscience, acting on a naturally tender heart, would trouble him so much at night that he was sure he could never sleep a wink thereafter. Not wishing to ruin Jim's peace of mind, Mrs. L. compromised tbe matter by giving him a dollar, and directiug biui to take ibe cat and dis pose of it any way he pleased, so that she should never see it again. Putting tbe dollar in his pocket and tbe basket on on his arm, Jim started down town. He hud noi got out of sight of tbe house, wheu be met Morrow walking leisurely toward his hoiuu.jttid the following colloquy cnaued:

Morrow—'-Hello, Jim, what have you got there Jim—"One of de celebrated Rocky Mountain oats, snh."

Morrow—"A Rocky Mountain cat! Why, Jim, where did you get him, and what are you going to do with him?"

Jim—"I golly, sab! Didn't you heab ob de big bunch ob dem cats dat cum to town yesterday from Kaliforny, wh! lies mousers in de wurl, sah, and dis is de biggest and best one ob de lot, sab. Dey are a gwiue to gib me foah dollars tor bim ai.de Reed'house, sah."

Morrow—(Recollecting, the "general cusnedness" of the family cat.)—'"Jim, we want a good cat up home, and

9on't

leaju

ues* I'll take this fellow, but—but— you think four dollars is steep for a cat?"

Jitu—"Why, all the res sold for five dollaba, sab." This decided Morrow, so he paid Jim the price asked, and told hitn 10 carry the "Rocky- Mountain cat" up to Mrs. Lowry. J1tn, however, had very important business elsewhere, and begged Morrow to take the basket himself, which the latter consented to do. Arriving at home, he took his prise inio the sitting room, carefully closed tbe doors slightly lilting the basket covering, and smiling benevolently at Mrs. L. a apparent astonishment, remarked: 'My dear, I've brought you a Rocky Mountain cat—the best mouser—"

At ibis moment the cat jumped out of the basket, and commenced rubbing himself against bis master's legs. Morrow stopped short, while his wife broke iu impatiently:

La, me, Morrow Why, that's the same old cat 1 gave Jim Stewart a dollar to drown, not more that ten minutes tigo."

What followed we know not, but a tew minutes later, th Hon. Morow C. Lowry might have been noticed on tbe treet-*.ftt Jfirie, urrned with a walking "why a man can uever firnd that nigger wben he wants to see him ba.ily."—[Beaver Radical.

[From the Ctinstiuu Union.]

BEECHER'S HOMJ YON A NEORO BABY. Riding iu a street car the other day, we had occasion to notice a colored woman with her baby. Tbu bonnie brown specimen of humanity was making the attnosi here vibrant with a yell of defiant protest against some of the limilaiioiis which oppressive maternity is wont to inflict on childhood. Somehow it seemed odd to us. We could not remember that we ever heard a negro baby cry before. They had always appeared such dumbly patient velvet things, almost justifying tlie suspicion that they were indeed of a different blood from ours. But this chap bowled as lustily as tbe spoildest wliiie baby In the world, and scratched ami kicked and bit to itch. Was this a type of the transition state of the oppreHsed race, oil its way to complete manhood?

And so we set to thinking on the rapidity with which our colored brethren are vindicating their claim to genuine kindred with the race whicb has kept them down so long, by a most successful mi at ion of its vices. It is not merely in the reproduction of the "linpitssitde" chignon, and a reasonable approximation to the noblest cut ot the "long-tailed blue," that our newly found relatives are justifying tbe title of imitative race," which has always been accorded to them. They are holding up to us, every day iu weightier ni 'tl rs, a mirror, which scarcely tends to inert ase our sell-complacen-cy. We have not only negro rowdies, and negro regulMtors, in the region where tor so mv years, negroes have suffered most trom those true scions of American liberty. Negroes stuff ballot boxes tnd brib- legislators, and plot in cabals to put up their own color and put down other colors. Yea, burnt umber leagues with sepia, and conspires gainst India ink. Colored churches quarrel, colored ministers put on airs, colored Lotharios "woo where they never mean to wed"—in short, in every p»riicul*r they reproduce a picture'of ihe highest and most exquisite white civilisation. It Is as though they bad said, "The evil that you leach us. we will execute, and it shall go bard but we we will better the instruction."

Th calls to mind Sam Johnsou, of New Orl-ans, a mulatto financier of an earlier day, but one who lived in advance ot bis generation. Sam was a

8ay

rent authority on the levee, and one he called his satellites together snd addressed them on tbe importance of adopting fiscal policy more nearly resembling that which bad raised to opulence tbeir Caucasian neighbors. "Nigae«." mid he, "if you w*nt to git rich, you must save your money. You must hive a bank. Dat's de way d* fell itious soil. Tbe project went execution, *i«t »n« earnings of th ins.

of lb were promptly fiirtbcom"Niggers," ys Mam, "I'll be.fej

SBOOTIJWJTHR WKOJMI H*?W,—A per-! cashier y«»u must" 'p»mlt tbe money Lh* with. In her last

sou tn a ptwion verv frequently jump* wtd me, and wben you want ny you non suited, the New Orleans eouri oe«t conettt»io»* sudd- nly. must draw onto li. D-u's de way de riding that she is not the legitimate I neighbor Snobs, If ywi don't white folks does." AH w«-nt inerriiy damrl.ter of D«n»el CUrk, end consek**p vnur hens out of mv garden. I for awhile, and the depositor* were quently revoking the will in wblcn ber will shoot them." highly elaied about "de h*bk." But cl dm was rested. The poor wom«iih«s

foul play day bjr day Increased, and the storm wan about to bunt on the head of the great operator, when he found it expedient to gather once more his Info Hated depoeiton, and "ffceo the music' frankly. "Niggera," said he, "dar ain't too use a mou'in' about it) De money's spent, and de bank's broke: and dat's de way de white folks does!"

Wi are indebted to a Concord, Massachusetta, correspondent for the follow' ing account of an old lady's first ride in the cars:

Miss Prudence Pettingill, at the mature age of sixty-one, made up her mind to visit New York for the first time in herlilM She bad never seen railroad, as sucb things had been unknown in Aroostook County until this summer, and tbe ancient farm house in which she lived was seven miles from the station. So she sits calmly upon a seat placed on the great wooden platform which surrounds the country aep t, snd gases with amaseinent upon tbe train which arrives, pauses a few moments 10 take on passengers, and tben proceeds upon its journev. Tbe ststion-master interrogates the old lady, who sits placidly watching the departing train. •'Why did you not get on, if you wished to go to New York?" "Git on says the old lady—"git on! I thought this whole consern went!"

Having explained to her that the

tlatforin was stationary, the man kindadvises her to wait for the express train, into whicb he escorts the maiden and finds for ber a seat by tbe side of a benevolent old gentleman. Clutching fhst hold of tbe seat in front of her, she is at first very much alarmed at the speed which they are going, but gradiidlly becomes ieilm, and much interested in the novelty o* her surroundings. The old gentleman answers her many inquiries very civilly, snd, among other things, tries to ex plain the use of the telegraph wires, and tells her that messages are sent over them at a much greater rate of speed than they are traveling. "Wa'al, wa'al," says the old lady, "you dpn't ketch me a-riden' on 'em, for this is as fast as I went to go, anyhow." She has seen so many wonder ul things that she makes up her mind at laat not to be astonished at any thing and when the train dashed into the one which had preceded it, owing to a misplaced switch, and the poor old isdy is thrown to the end ot the oar among a heap ot broken seats, she supposes it to be the ordinary manner of stopping, and quietly remarks, "You fetch up rather suddin, don't ye?" Being provided with a seat in tbe forward car, which was uninjured, she arrives without farther a -cident at her journey's end, and is surrounded by in eager orowd of hacktnen, and listens in wonder to their otf-repealed call of "Hack hack!" Grasping her umbrella in one hind, and her bandbox in tbe other, she looks down into the face of tbe loudest driver with the compassionate inquiry, "Air you In pain From tbe consequences of his wrath she is rescued ana carried safely home by ber nephew, who has come to tbe depot to look for her.—[Harper's Drawer.

IT is the fashion just now

ridicule

Vincent Collyer's attempt to pacificate tbe Indians of the South west, and crack poor jokes at bis expense. Of course, be has not succeeded in transforming these barbarous bronzes into civilised white men, nor in developing Indian instincts intp all the erases wild

rlrgi!

of the Christian character. Such things are not done in six months among civilized people, and it i* foolish to ex|ect Mr. Collyer to do with savages what our Metliodi»t and Presbyterian revivalists cannot effect with those born in Christian homes and nurtured in tbe best influences of society. A great policy of Justice and humanity cannot lie tested bv the results of a summer. Two hundred years ot injustice and degradntion cannot be erased by tho scratch of a secretary's pen, nor cancelled by a commissioners promise. Indian human nature is not easier to work upon than Anglo Saxon human nature but there is good reason for thinking that it is made of the same sort of stuff and amenable to the same laws, and moreover that it will yield to a policy of kindness as readii as other species of human nature. Perhaps this is wbat the croakers are afraid of. It is the Reservations they are chiefly anxious to convert and cultivate. The crime of the Indian is bis land The grievance is a real one, for it is a grievance of real estate. The whites ache for tho Indian's acres.—[Golden Age.

ROOKRS, the poet, seems to have been somewhat unfortunate in his servants. On one occasion, when in the country, bis favorite groom, with whom he used to drive every nay, gave notice to leave. Rogers asked him why he was going and what had he to complain of. 'Nothing," replied the man "bnt you are so dull In the buggy."

Speaking of France brought him to the following story, to which he gave considerable eff.-ct:

An Englishman and Frenchman had to fight a duel. That they might have the better chance of missing one ano'her, they were to fight in a dark room. The Englishman fired up the chimney, and, by Jove! he brought down the Frenchman When I tell this story In P*ris," observed Rogers,

I put the Englishman up the chimney."—[Harper's Drawer.

TBACH

TOUR

CHILDREN Mtrsie.—YOU

ill stare at a strange notion of mine if it appears even a mad one, dn not wonder. Had I children, my utmost endeavors should lie to make them musicians. Considering I have no ear, nor even thonuhl of music, the preference seems odd, and yet it is »mttraced on frequent recollection. In short, as my aim would be to make them bapuy, I think it tbe most probable method. It Is a resource which will last them their lives, unless they grow deaf it depends upon themselves, not on others always amuses and soothes, if not consoles and of all fashionable pleasures, is tbe cheapest. It is capable of fame without the danger of criticism— is susceptible of enthusiasm without being priest-ridden snd, unlike othT mortal

Eesven.—[Hoiaceof

issions, l« *ur* be ng gratified in W al pole.

MRS.OAI!*R»B

by-*nd-bv there begin lo be trouble— b.»d a hard struggle nd deeerves a bet-

only If you kill *ny of my hens, throw not with the deports but thf drafts. It ter I «te. But courting in sny or Its tb*m into my yard." was found M»i to gee funds Into this form* Is uncertain business.—[Golden Crack went ihe fow!lng-piecr, morn-! mod"l institution than to gcibemout \gr.

iss mhrr •turning, and l*r*e fat beo* again, and Sam was compelled to face *rn hah ail into neighbor Soobs' yard, the sngry customer* and explain. "It's They wnek«*d well. AfW a fortnight or all right.^ asys he. "de bank's onl

he, "de bank's

an, booliule discovered that Snoti* nev- suspended, and in few days shs will Callforni ~wUh onl er had any hem, and that he had been 'again resume dit's de way white bark. •ting his own, they having broken folks does." This expedient lasted but to business he has aocumnlsted omtr •T bis own coop. a little while, however. Suspicions of ten wtUHoma.**

more than

of trials,

MIMI

BTshare

likely to eom« out

of them with increas«Hl respect for .e lawvrs nor increased revenues U» f««y

SNIt

she was

An exchange tells that at "twenty rled at one shirt to his

ly years of age L-lsnd Stanford srriced at 11 Callforut with only one shirt to bis Sinoe then, by does attention

GOOD MEMORIJBS.

Who was it that said he memoir but good forge the wag's name, on

had a bad* ttary? Ws:

forget the wag's name. 6ut his statement might be adopted ny almost anybody, though eight people out of tenf will tell you that they have good memories. That is to say, they retain very clear and vivid impressions of certain things they never forget their" business or their social engagements: ., they can tell in what year or what month this or th incident oame under tbeir observation they remember conversations that took place long since, and are tolerably accurate in all statistical matters. But if you could compare what these people remember with what they have forgotten, you would be very cautious about crediting them with good memories. To apply this test is of course impossible but a little observation will convince on* that almost every man's memory is restricted within very narrow limits. One man remembers fiices and not names another names and not lacest* a tuird neither faces nor names butvoices. One pupil In a cl iss can give the date of certain historical transactions, but is wholly unable to state the attendant circumstances while anolh* er pupil, who canuot carry a date in his mind for half an hour, will have no difficulty in recalling tne minutest detail. We kuow ot an acior who can repeat a page of blank verse or of prose after reading It once, yet cannot remember to watch at night, and oould not hia life depend on bis doing it regularly. We read every day of won-:-derful instances of memory, but they are always instances of tbe faculty iity'

Wt'

ling in special directions this in a recent English jour^

workin fiud nal: "John Kemble used to say that he oould learn a whole number of the Morning Post in tour duya. Sealiger could repeat a huudred verseft or more after having read them a single time. Seneca could repeat tw6 thousand words on hearing theui oucs, Magliabecchi was once put to asevert'^ trial. A ntieman lent him a inant»-» script, which was read and returned.'. The owner, sometime attt-rwards, pre-r.'i tending he had lost it, begged Magli.i* beoahi to write outas much as he could remember whereupon th« latter, uppealing to bis memory, wrote out thewhole essay. Cyrus, ft some of ihe old' historians are to be credited, could member tbe natueuf every soldier iakm immense army. A physician ot Massachusetts,about half acentnry ago. con Id repeat the whole of'Paradise Lost' with-

If Um wMMty tu tBuwHobui1 tfro 'iHi le "things of every-day life were more codimon, we could very well do without such exceptional powero as were |Ks» sussed be Magliabecchi, Soaliger, Cyrus and the rest. Tbe world would bo spared of annoyanceif men and women were more generally blessed with iium-ble-dealing common-place memories.

out a mistake,although he had uot reud it for twenty years. Euler, the great, uiatheiimiciau, when he became blind, oould repeat the whole of Virgil's JBneid, and could remember the Irs

line and last line ou every page ol I lie particular edition which lie had been accustomed to read before he b«enme in a re a in I derful illustrations of the power of memory—memory playing like P.iga* nini, on one string but no doubt tbe'^ people who accomplished the various feats described had very poor memories in other matters. To be able to repeat a hundred verses after one reading is no proof of good memory—except so far as the verses go. A mau might fail lamenta ly under such a test and yet possess a good memory, by which we mean a catholic memory. This we take to be about the rarest of gifts. We have never met than two or three people who seemed possess it.

People who never recollect wbat they said or wba* somebody else said are always getting themselves and their friends Tnto trouble. The Wfll-tiiean-ing folks, wlio cannot for the life of

To STOP

THR

them repeat a thing as thev hear it.constitute a vey large class. The less dan* gerous but more absurd people wno always forget where they left a book, paper or nme such trifle, are of everybody's acqualntanco. Tbe people who forget that thtv owe you live dollar* are loo numerous ind almost too painful to mention. Good forgetteries are a great deal more common than good memories, and, as Hamlet saio to his mother, wo "would it were uot so." There is one thing to be said in extenuation ol us mortals. We all would have good memories it wo had our way about it. But memory is a faculty placed nearly if not wholly beyond our control It seems to work quite independently of ourselves. We often And it Impossible to remember the ihlugs that interest us most deeply, and ars made to burden our minds with matters to which we are entirely indllferent. This is a universal experience, and should render us charitable to peopie who have good forgeltories mid bad memories.

NOSK-BI.BBD.—There sre

two little arteries which supply the jr /ace with blood, one on each side, These uranch off from the tn dn srterles on each side of the neck, pissing over tbe outside of the Jaw-bone, about half of the way back from the chin to the angle of tbe *w, under the ear, upward toward the eye. Each of the si» teries supplies Jsut half of the face, the nose being tbe dividing line. Now, sup- |, posing your m:se bleeds at the right nostril, wii tbe end ol tbe foroAnger feel along tbe outer edge of the right Jaw till you feel tbe beating of the artery directly under your Anger, ths same as the pulse in your wrist. Then press tbe finger hard upon i:. The resuit will be that no drop of blood goes Into tb side of your face while ths •, pressure continues the nose Instantly stops bleeding for wsnt of blood to flow. Continue the pressure foi about five minutes, and tbe ruptured vessels In the nose will by this time contract that wben you let the blood into

tbein they will notlesk. Bleeding fro'it a cut or wound in sny part of tbe systern may be stopped by compressing the artery from which the blood flows.

Acting upon a knowledge of this slotpie fact should occasion require. y»a may nave tbe life of another or your own.

LATELY a large snd gentlemen in Bri

co moan dgeport.

of I tHa4 rt. Conii.| »rriei

got up a surprise party. They

qui

visions expecting to nave s~ tine supper. After theii arrival th* good- wers taken by tbe lady of the house and de

silted in the pantry, probably supposing the ed. Tbe party waited until ihre#

pos ing thei wern among the thum* donatTbe party wsltf o'clock in tbe morning for supper to be ready, bnt us no signs prcpir lion were visible, snd feeling a lit is modest aboat Inquiring whui (1ISJK»-I-tion bad been made of the "cake and things," they departed as hungry boars.

A 8AM FSAivotnoo girl recency undertook the arsenic treatment for procuring a clenrand beautiful complexion. She looked white enough in her fBn.

!SBSc*