Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 2, Number 5, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 29 July 1871 — Page 2
Jfc'*
Rural.
JOSH BILLINGS ON THE TjKEOR OF FARMING. -ii
What I kno About Pharmin."
What I kno about pharmin is kussid
llM?'bazzam
I
friend, Horace Greeley,
ban rit a book with the abuv name, and altho haven't had time tew peroose it, Vet don't hesitate to pronounce it /bully.
There is nothing like book laming, and the time will eventually
com®
when a man wont have to bav only one nf".Tosh Billings'Farmers'Alimanax to run a pharm, or a kamp meeting with.
Even now^ it ain't unkommon tew see throe, or four hired men on a pharm, with three or four
spans
of oxen, all
standing still while the boss goes into the library, and reads himself for the
dYf8I
was running a Pl'arm I wou.d .ther bayethirtjsix^ushels ov sum new breed of potato*J rTze on theory, then tew have eighty-four bushels got in the
n,e^"
benighted and underhand way ov our late lamented grandparents. Pharming, after all, is a good deal like the tavern bizzness, enny body thinks thev kan keep a hotel, (now daze), and «nny body thinks they kan
pharm it (now daze), and they kan,but tKis is the way that poor hotels cum
t^w be
8"l
so plenty, ami this is likewise
what makes pharming such eazy and profitable bizzness.
Just
take the theory out ov phan
ine and there ain't nothing left, hard work, and all fired lite krops. When I see so much pholks rushing into theorv pharming, az there is (now daze), and so menny ov thorn
out agin, think ov
•"t"'" liyjj/lu'•rler ov fie havo hu.i ii,
professor of
ru»h,"£
u!,l.\ror""J/i1®
skriptur, which remarks, illcd, but few aro chos-
pieco ov "Menny are
onst took a pharm, on shares miHOII,
and run her on some
U,0O.r:*' n"
the thing figured up this way, 1 dun all the work, phurnished all the seed and ma,aire, h!.d the ague for 9 ...on Js out of 12, for mi share ov the profits, and the other phellow paid the taxes on the nhurni for his share.
By mutual konsent quit the pharin at the end ov
!he
.' I 1 ,,i
wuth brnggin about, and 1 foe it duty to state, for the benefit ov in kreilitors, that if they «ver expekt
SURJX W«: MES
PlIfr«:man'nvdfy
anxlo"H ^orv^ho
ty much all the work hisself and support his familv what he kant sf 11 AND GO FMIUFT NIL
the time tow
'"i"k\,o ov ,.h:.VS. YilTt"
riirh't Ui-
This is what 1 call running science Into the ground. The fact ov it iz, that theories of all kinds work wel! except in Pr!,£t,s" they are too often designed to do UK work of nrnkt tsw.
They alnt no theory in breaking a mulo only tew go at him with a klub in your hand and sum blood in ynre oye, and brake him, just as you would
'SPWhat°1' know about pharmin aint wuth much ennv how. but I undertook to brake a kicking heifer once.
I read treat ins on thesubjekt and phollowed the dlrekshunn cluss nnd got knokt ondwaze in about "1'n,|
I then sat down and thought tho thing
Tmade up mv mind that the Pillow who wrote the troatiss was more in the treaties blzzness than he was in tin kiokinK heifer trade.
I cum to the konelushun that what ho knu about milking klkinrfholfore he S had learnt by leanln over a barnyard and writing the thing up
I ot out from mv retlekshuns strengthened. anl wont for that heifer. I will di iw a vail over the language used, and 1 he things I did, but 1 ^ent In wm. and won
The heifer never bekum a cow This is one way to brake a kicking heifer, and aOer a man has studyed all the book" in kreashun on the^ and trietl them on. he will fall back onto mi plan and make up his mind, as I did, that a kicking heifer is inon for l«ef than she is for theoretic ,nilk*
I hav worked on a pharm just long omiff tew know th.At there iz no pray on* so uood for ioor land as manure, and no theory kan beat twelve hours each day (Sundaz excepted) of honist lalnr applied to the sile.
I am an old ph i«hioned phelow, and heart 11 hate most nu things, bekau*e 1 hav bin »xat by them so orten.
I never knu a pharm that was workmuch hi theory, but what ,le ,»r to let in a few years, and
pretty
wa* for
W IX Mir "I I I I
never knu a ph .rm that war. worked bv manure and muscle, on the good old 'ignorant way ov our aneestoni.but what wan hundril down from father to fion, and alwm was noted for raising brawny-armed IHIVH and buxom lasses,
^KukM^lmrniin. n«th- ^1," «ld she after ing but ex,^Henv and experience now
d»*e ain't worth kuw». ..
I had rather h:iv a pwwl lo«kinR theo-
ry Vow ketch 11^
Give ne mi hot humbug, and
ov#' heard of.'
th cat riage.
I
TERRE-j
Young Folks.
PROBLEM.
The circumference of a circle jSs 113. 0976 what is the side of the greatest
1
RIDDLE.
I am a word of plural numbe A foe to ease and human slumber I \0w any word you chance to take,
By adding 8 will plural make But by addii
Pbarmin (now daze) is pretty ""och jfhe metamorphosis! all theory, and '5,•
Wh"tw™plur..l, plural then more,
1/1 rv.... And sweet what bitter was before. and also know aFxnit pharming. And sweet A pharm (now daze) ov one hundred akera will produce more lnckwheat and pumkins, run on theory, than it would sixty years ago, run on manure and hard knocks. Vwv„t lamina
NEW SUBSCRIBER.
CROSS-WORD ENIGMA.
Mv first is in Paul but not' in Ruth, My second's in falsehood but not in truth ,. Mv third is in Mary but not in Jane, Mv fourth is in water but not in rain Mv fifth is in goat but not in sheep, Mv sixth is in dream but not in sleep My seventh's in labor but dot in toil, Mv eighth is in can but not/in oil Mv ninth is in cats but not no dogs, My tenth is in cattle but ndt in bogs Mv last is in clean, also in fcieat,
Mv whole is something gbod to eat. 1 ISOLA.
BIBLICAL ENIGMA. 15 letters.
My 7*1M
Wf 1Wilts
I am composed of 35 My 2, 8, 28, 16, 31, 21, 11 was a man of distinguished valor. My 5,10, 20,13, 19, 1, 34 were an ancient
31» 14'
6, 22 wap a province
of Asia Minor.
My 11, 33, 20, 22, 16, 26, 32 was a range of mountains in Palestine. My 14, 10, 20, 29, 3, 22, 18 vfas a woman of eminent wisdom and ho""?5!8Mv 20, 10, 17, 28, 22, 32, 25 was a village of Palestine. My 27, 0. 13, '2A, 3, 21, 19 is an evergreen
My 30?33, 12, 7, 22, 3, 14 is a beautiful animal. .. My 35, 9, 23, 4, 18, 22, 16 was a citj of
Persia.
My whole verse in the Bible.
in part of a verse in ISOI.AJ
DECAPITATIONS.
1. IJohoad a kind of fish and leave a
1
year.
What know about P'ia.,'n'inf
*2. Behead a household article and leave what you become every d'iy. 3. Behead a household article and leave to fasten. 4 Behead a joy and leave a boy. f. Behead again and leave a process of mathematics. A. A L.
ANSWERS TO ENKJMAS, CHA,(U,l's AC. IN LAST WEEK'S PAP Eli.
Anagrams.—1. Originated. 2. Satu rated. 3. Inaugurating. 4. Anchored f, Persistency. 6. Acknowledged. 7 Incongruity. 8. Amplitude. 9. Conse crated. 10. Impeachment.
Transposed Cities.—1. Jaen—Jane. 2 Naples—panels. 3. Paris-pairs 4 Denver—vender. f. Lodi—idol. Moore—Homeo. 7. Newton—went on
Chanires.—1. Cousin, cozzen. 2. (*uilt 3. Ere, heir, air. 4. Pier, Peer ft. Not, knot. Logogriph.—Tear: tea. tar, tare, art rale, rat, ear ate, are oat, at a.
gilt, peer.
tl.V-
oon,and know p.v.^i.'iDnce that
(«r^r«Trl 1)1 HUM I anatomy tew see if the
Question.—With the letter R, a fiend in C'*iond. I ranspositlmis
r'lT)ticeaTed
Insects.—1. Butterfly.
Katydid. 3. Locust. 4. Spider. Bee! 6. Beetle. Puzzle.—Wear. 1. Bear. 2. ear,
Dear. 4. Tear. ft. Fear. H. Gear 7. Pear. 8. Near. J). Bear. 10. Sear 11. llear.
A STORY
KUOM
"is
kan
faaktmufct.nv the cxterience in this world ashamed ov itself.
\N Eastern letter-writer advise the "world's people" to »*rrow an Ule«
from
the camp nie^ings of the satnts. "What
could
be simpler mid cheaper
and mom whohwotne,
he asks, "than spirit
wnunwiiiii, ••1-
where thev «,'uld run loose under the treea. and'enhjy the aimnd 'hefm-dom SrtoiSnlshanyTnemastheycouhlin no other way that 1 rl_ f.miivnr
R*SK HKRSKK has not left 1he rnltw! State* this summer as she Intended to dio. 1. Jullen has persuaded her to remalo ami sing at his concerts. The fair VC9ti 1st has received unlK*und»Hl sp* lUJno. and the other evening in New
'sc. and me omer ... ,k« LV,V» of the fruit moat exposetl to two men were rr-qulred to
Ci"Tv
bouquet* present*1*! to her to her
OSROK ''Jo's BOY'S
On one occasion the children were all irathered in a room, when they made a decree that every one that entered should tell a story. Mrs. Jo had just been trapped, and made to pay forfeit when little five-year old Robby came in, having got out of bed to see what was the matter, and dragged his bed
cover
with him. lie was about to be turned ignominiously out, as one who could not pay the forfeit, when he pro tested vigorously against this sentenci without a trial, "and declared that li could tell "lots of ones" when he had "finked." Having deeply cogitated for a moment, "perched" on his mother knee, and wrapped In the gray eover let he told the following brief but tragic tale, with an earnestness that made it funny: i_„„ "Once a laftv had a million children and a nice little boy. She went stairs and said, 'You mus nt go in the van!.' But he wented, and fell into the pump, and was drowned dead,
that all?" asked Franz, as Bob used out of breath with his startling
IbcRinmnff.
1
ATTTRD
TT^
f^\,Knr,nd™e™l»™reo.ah"rw,"y»
simple. —.— •SS-VFRAL. of the most prominent col-
8
f1
there is another piooo of it,
and*
Bob knit his downy eyebrows in the effort to involve another mspira-
11"
What did the lady do when ho 11 into the pump?" asked his mother, to help him on.
O, she pumped him up and wrappod him in a newspaper, and put him on a shelf to dry for seed.' —hrom Little Mm. ^,4
PI*T SAI.T
IN IT.—"Mother,
So spoke observing Annie as she stood "looking on." "Well, Annie, I'll make you a little loaf of bread without any salt, and see if vou can find out." "O mother, it doesn't taste a bit he had tasted of
?ii
Y0.I
didn't put anv ilt in It."
4
the
twricncc even ov Methusler. a uood thing to lay d.nx-n Hud d?c With, hut VU kant do no biw.lne^ with it mow dare) it aint hot
Mother sjud Annie a day or two
X* nm rWtm
l. '".lane Wells is the worst
admit voung women
KodU on
i.
Ssrtsss Trustees of the institution, after
CuKftPon
a
P?°*
q^estiin oS of women
qfue,s"°"
committee consisting of
students to a coimu« Henrv President Stearns the
SwKSr" thesubje^andreport
SJJSr decided I year ago to admit womenasatudent3^mall^i^r^riouade-
reaoUcdvo'ry satisfactorily. The young ^ntlemen and ladies preserve precisely fhe same attitude toward each other socially that they would ordinary loc etv while in their studies the young tvomen have without exception held the"? "wn with their competitors. In mathematics, the phy^alsciences riroek Latin, medicine, and law, they are said to stand among the verv best scholars in the University and it is stated that in the rigid examinations ',S preceded the recent ment not one of the number made a poor figure. About thirty young^vomen entered their names on the niversity rolls last j-ear, and it is expected JhSi? consequence of.the gratifying character of their experience the num ber of women students will be increased to between two and three hundred this fall. ..
THK facts of Mr. Disraeli's failure as a newspaper editor in London, have just been told by another London editor Mr. James Grant, who, however has been a success in his profession. It is
forty-six years since Mr. Disraeli (then about thirty years old) assumed the editorship of a new Tory paper called the Representative, which he managed till its death half a year afterward, during which brief period its publisher].ost bj
IIOIU iue »..v. raeli's editorial rooms were fitted up •i style of splendor without parallel in the annals of the newspaper press and the reception room especially—the visitors to which were expected to belong mostly to the aristocracy—was furnished in gorgeous style, like the drawing-room of a Duchess. But Mr. Disraeli failed, notwithstanding all this, or rather, perhaps at least partly, because of it. It was much easier lor him to get elected to 1 arlian.ent, assume the Tory leadership, become' Chancellor of the Exchequer and rise to the position of Prime Mm-: ister of England, than to become a successful newspapes editor. Presumptu^ a ous man, cud. born to case
I know twb girla wealth. In their/early youth the} wero rich, careless, free. fhey waUuH and drove and rode, and hunted anc boated, and drank groat draughts oj happiness and health. I rcsently tioul" les came. Affairs were involved, stalwart father became to' h/'lnliiu" ', i1,. ,\o- lil 1ft (fVrW-
town, to keep a "dry-goods and grocery store." They wero always promptThey gave fair measure and right change. Tliev kept what people wanted and if anything was called for which they had not, they put it down on their list. They hud tho cleanest tyid n^pest grocery for miles around. They a clerk, and bought a horse, and built a house, and are at this moment independent property-holders, as well as most piquant and agreeablo women.— GnU Hamilton.
A
Coi.n
what
makes vou put salt in everything you cook? Everything you make you put in .. little salt, and sometimes a great deal."
her dttle
afterward, iriri I ever saw she slaps brother and pulls his hair, and acts rtvftl hatefn 1. When I told her it was nanvhtv to do so. and if she would be kin^ to'her brother he would be kind
to 'her' she'onl "s poke rough to me. and
tion is
anv
|he Wfam
coming guesti
Sen. oft fie family or anv
Jn wurw
lhc
i,t,« oMin W bv wop'1shetake my «tnnitclv to the sympathies of destitute b**e ,,f a grandparent. But it is ob\ hit him again. {£,• *„,{ homeless washer-wo-1
«iri. AiS ll «5oi fall to the {lim the use of all the apostolic
I spin 1 oi v.ui«w, —1 an| an annual
Don't forget to put salt in it, palace* free of char^ce, ^i« nmvt I juilary of $600,00". Gfiltlem Age,
A EVENING MA 11.. JULY 29,1871.
the uesti&n of jewelry. Dr. Dio Lewi9, in his excellent advice to young ladies in his book "Our Girls," ntterssoine truths which should be kept "in type" in some form continually. "What a barbarism," he aays, "to bore a hole in the flesh, and stick in a trinket! I have seen several ears in which the ring bad cut its wav out, making a slit, and a new hole baa been punched in one of the pieces. Men have fallen into this vulgar barbarism. American savages otter many instances of men with gold and silver trinkets in the ears. But among l°w®r savages, in different parts of the world, the custo'm is quite general, and many of them add an ornament in the nose.
He also speaks of the vulgar show often seen among the demi-monde a dozen great gold and jeweled rings on the fingers, two large rings or hoops about the wrists, a great buckle in the belt, a gold chain about the neck, a cold watch, several charms, a locket or two, a breast pin, and other parapher-
1
wo
St. Louis Republican points out
the moral of the latest victims to mental overwork, in the persona of Colfax, Colonel Thomas Scott, and General John A liOgan. General Logan's career it savs, "has required, besides a deal of shrewd management, an extraordinary amount of stump speaking—the most of it in the open air. Few who ever heard his magnificent voice, ringing clear and strong over tho largest audiences ever thought of the effort it cost, or the effects which might follow. But General Logan has recently had four severe hemorrhages of tho lunps, and though he will probably survive them, ho Is essentially a broken down man, and nothing but the most watchful care will enablo him hereafter to discharge the duties of his position. Let us have done with this overwork, and thereby avoid the supreme folly of playing a game where the player luis to die to win."
IN THE
HEAP.—Acel
ebrated French physiciani claims that he has discovered a new method^ of curing a cold in the head. It consists in inhaling through the nose the emanations of ammonia contained in a smelling-bottle.
If the sense of smell
is completely obliterated, the iK)ttl© should ne kept under the nose until the
pungency
of the volatile alkali is felt.
The nottfe is then removed, but only to lc reapplied after a minute the second application, however, should not be long, that the patient may breir it. This ea?«v operation hoing repeated seven or eight times in thecourseof five minutes, bnt always very rapidly, except the first time, the nostrils become free the sense of smell is restored, and the secretion of the irritating mucus is stopped. This remedy is said to be ,»ccullarlv advantageous to singers.
which are
nalia of vulgar barbarism, used by them to advertise their calling, and which modest, virtuous women should not imitate. The doctor advises all sensible girls to leave the wanton display ot jewelry to Indians, and thinks they woulcl be much more attractive if they
used
no other jewelry
than a neat small pin to hold the collar and a delicate small chain to guard the watch. The watch should be in a pocket, and not slipped under the b^'t. lhe belt must be very tight to hold the watch. To wear a watch half-way under the belt is to constantly expose it to accident, and at best to make a vain announcement of the fact that the person is the owner of one. In England.it is a common remark that you may know a nobleman by his plain dress, and bv the absence of all jewelry. Ana we will add, that everywhere yon may know a shoddy pretender by an excessive displav of jewelry. No person ot really fine* culture delights in an exhibition ot trinkets or gew-gaws of any kind. The refined soul cannot mak-. an ornamental parade.
CUAKI.ES BRADLAUOH, according to Air Conway, is quite the most notable man in England. A thorough reformthe great apostle of the radical
tion of rebellion against all respecta bilities and established orders. He lias reduced iconoclasm to a science. When he goes before an audience he glances around, individualizes a hundred laces before him at a glance, measures his audience, gauges how much they will boar, and then comes put u^conungly with words that burn*Jfnd flare like petroleum brands, or with cool, self-pos-sessed didactics and
en Ay*.
?ea&ired"Sf"h«Bt £be' riddle of the Sphinx irouldjffidl \nto insignificance beside it. At present sbo wanders in hopeless darkness.' She has been led through so many labyrinthine mazes that she has lost all clue to the truth. Man adores helplessnes and says it ruins him. He talks about economy, and raves over spendthrifts. He dec.ies frivolitv, and runs away from brains. He pines after bis grandmother, *ho could mrtke pies, and falls in love with white Wfcnds that can't. He moans over weakness, and ridicules strength. He condemns fashion theoretically, and tho lack of it practically, lie longs for sensible women, and passes them by on the other side. Ho worships saints, and sends them to convents. He despises pink and white woman, and marries one if he can. He abuses silks and lacos, and takes them into his heart. He glorifies spirit and independence, and gives a cruel thrust at the little vines that, want to be oaks.
In short, lie refuses to be pleased with uny thing unless it is himself then indites sonnets to "divine woman," calls her a general angel, fit only for an enchanted Paradise, and created for the cxpross purpose of waiting upon him, toothing his sorrows, sewing on his buttons, crowning his happiness, fitting him for heaven, and making him universally miserable. What would the eriticnflords like? Solvefthe problem who can.—Chicago Tribune
oooi) deal of pointless wit lias been discharged at strong-minded women, as though tho possession of' a dear, cool head and -CT ... fairs were a foible to be ridiculed instead of being a fortune to be thankful for or a merit to be praised. Lord Brougham savs of his maternal grandmother, "I owe her all my success in life." And he adds:—Remarkable for beauty, but far more lor a masculine jotellect and clear understanding, she instilled into me from my crad»e th* strongest desire for information, and the first principles of that persevering f-nergv in the pursuit of every kmd of knowledge which, more than any natural talents I mav possess, has enabled ae to stick to. and to accomplish, c\cry t-isk I ever undertook. So much for tie worth and work of one strongitinded woman. It is absurd to sup-
Wf, have heard a good deal of late respecting the poverty and persecution of the poor old Pope, who has been robbed of his possessions and turned out upon the world, like a worn-out would have been anv the less effective horse upon the bare commons to die of hid «die leen allowed the rights or citistarvation and exposure. His situa- L^^hip, and performed her duties
certainly appalling, and appeals »iM-n with the same fidelity j»»bedid
ot*at
IVrhaps vou don't put any salt In jor the Italian Parliament, be- was deprived of bv a fooli*Jj yar*s™ 2 the bark
fttfote
of The poor 1ope!
HKSKFACTORS
S S S S S iasn,
peacli. or apple, ai Ft hangs upon its doesn't either cheer or inebriate, this
branch, thia Is the way to carry out vour plan: Just before the fruit ripens. cut the desired letters frortl a sheet of thin, tough paper, and paste them on
aeason.
of the human race are
dhweminating the caltore of the castor bran in California, and that State will
"WON'T VOU
of time, yon
pajjer from the ripe sivr-
at long 1 (rl
take half of this
apple?" said a pnHty damsel. thank von. 1 would prefer a better half." "Klt» blushed, and referred the yonnft tuan to her papa.
hiiii
poor
"No I
OOFTY Q00FTISM8. JFKW
YOBICK, July der 25,1871.
Of dere efer vas a man in der voHd dot didn'd feel eckseckly like shlinging ink I'm dot feller. Chenerally as a cheneral ding, I'm habby like a big sun flour, but to-day I'm plue like indigo. Der droubl© is mit Katnna—she gidding kind of cranky, und she founding fault mitoud some cause doo. Of I shday out late she growls like a bear mit a sore head, und says dot I ained doing vats rightd. Of I shdav home mit her, und 1 don'd dolk to ner der hole dime, den she gids cranky, doo, und vants to know vy der dooce I dond say someding. She says I don do anyding else as buff avay ad mv old bipe, und dot's all I'm «oot for. I dell her all gread men don My anyding--all dey do is sebmoke und receife oresents. I dought dat vas a pooty goot joke, und dot der old vooman vood saw der poind und laff herself indo goot humor, bud I vas misdooken. She vas dwice so riley like she vas before und she shdraidened herself ub und sung oud dot I vas a Bresidend, und my frond name vas Useless dot she vood nod have anvding to do nut me. one dime she vas broud of me—Ivas a man in efery sense of der vord, bud now I vas going to der bad so fashd as I cood ged dere. Veil, I told der old vooman vot gan I do dot vill blease j'ou? vy, sid down ven you don'd god someding else to do und wride someding for Bomeroy's Demograd. Und here I am doing it chust to blease der old gal but 1 be blessed of I know vat I'm going to wride aboud.
Id's a loafly dighd oud, der shdars is 3hining brighdly ub in der shky dere musd be boud forty dousand of dem doo, und dey shbarkle like eferyding, der moon looks like a gread gold bunking-bie ub in der clouds, und der man in der moon looks as of he vas awful habby. und he didn'd care of school keebed or nod der leedle kady didn'd und der bull toads vas singing all dey know how, und der kidden cards are joining in der chorus. Id a loaflv nighd, und id's shusdder kind of a efening for any von to feel liabby ol dey kan only make ub der minds to done id. Katrina's shdobbed growling und she's sidding righd long side ot me
now,
humorous
sallies,
which surprise the audience with the comparative innocence of a man they expected to find a monster. Tins man of indomitable courage and tireless industry makes sueeohes every where, edits a weekly paper called the & ational fJorZ- which he stuffs full of radical republican sentiments, arraigns the government for its delinquencies and supineness, demands the iijipcaelimont of the "House of Brunswicw, -uid has uttered the plainest treason a thousand times- vet lie is let alone because the Powers "that Be are afraid to grapple with a man who has such a following, vrn declares thai England is undergo-
WOMAN'S BERTLEXIl'l It would be a carious problem for a an to find, but, from the average essiondf^ankiwVwhat really is
half soling und heeling der scad of little Fritzy's bandyloons, vor lie tore dem schliding down der cellar door He's a gread veller, doi leedle Fritzy,
v,)l dot
b°y (lon'd
Fritz ven I vas
know
don'd vas of some uso to any body. He's slnnard, doo, I vant you to undershtand. A'es, sir, he's so shmard like dev made 'em. Of he keebs on inkier vnv vot he's agoin und don'd god somo iinbediments in his shbcech, I dell you some day he's going to be a gread man. 1 kan saw dot shdieking oud already. Veil, like 1 ofden dell Katrina, of he only so shmard like he's daddy, den he needend be fraid dat he kan ged along und keeb his end ub. I vas chust like
boud'hissizoof
grows
age, und
I vas tier shinardest leedle roosder you efer did saw, und I growed up to be der man I am now. Dot leedle vellti he
bigger und bi all der
gger ike
dime, und he geds more lfke mo ciery
day. Some day he'll dook my blaee und den look oud for him. ile goin to be a shmard veller cause he can' hell. id. 1 dell you vat's in der flesh vouldn'd cornc oud of der bones. I in awful broud of him, 1 bed you, und Katrina says dot I'll shbilo him. I dell der old lat'iv of he vas a gal, den slu kan have all to say boud him, bud lie pov, and I'm going to broughd him ul in der vay ho shall 'FIFTY CENTS'SA
A correspondent writing from San Francisco is responsible for the following A good story or two is told of tho
Boston Party" which was hero last summer. The members of this parly were for tho most part men who were in the habit of knowing where their money went, and ot making and requiring .exact change. The trait led them into many prolonged and not wholly decisive contests, and eventually attracted a great deal of attention. A Californian was characterizing their small ways with more emphasis than good taste, when another Californian took up tho gauntlet in their behalf.
They can't help it," said he. "They don't act from penuriousness, but from education. They havo always boon used to close calculations and exact settlements, and they can't go back on a life-long training." "Well, thore's one thing, they can stay at home and not exposo their poor breeding."
Tho same party visited tho Nevada Silver Mines, and upon coming out of tho tunnel one of them offered their guide—who chanced to be one of the principal owners of the mine—a half dollar for his trouble. The miner looked at tho money a moment, and then turning to the man said "May I ask you how much you are estimated at home to be worth "About twenty-five thousand dollars," replied the Uostonian. "Well," said the miner, "I guess I won't take your half dollar. I made a quarter of a million here last month."
Bisitor WHITEIIOLSK finds his match in the wardens of Christ church, as well as in its rector." He sent a notice to one of the wardens late on Saturday night, announcing his intention of holding the Fpiscopal Visitation at Christ church on Sunday, August 13th. The warden replied that this was not the first time that ho had such important official communications at too late an hour to be properly acted on that Rev. E. C. Cheney is the rector of the church, in good and regular standing, and in the preparation of candidates needing no assistance from any other minister of the Church and that any arrangements the Bishop may make with him will be seconded by the wardens as their offices may require. There Is something humiliating in the spectacle this ecclesiastical xealot presents, and in the interest of religion, to say notb ing of the interest of the Episcopal Church, he ought to be suppressed. If he wants to bo the laughing-stock he
*that her nrecepts and influence mak"* himself, perliapi i,^., anv thrc lens effective consent to take iiiin into his traveling for consideration.—Qnhitm
museum A«jrt
HS
a
A
a gUnee how much mind-force under
IXKTOMOTIVs
the beat citizens themselves? Is yards and the human_%oiw.l,«»»yards.,
woman who'carTshap? a cl'iamcltr! A dinner horn in the countrj* is often lik- that of Henry Brougham unfit to heard five milea. wfite a ballot?—(iolden Aft. 5 SOMR clever fellow has invented _., „-,iu oew kind of ink callel "love-letter
the chivalry Orleans merchant, bearing that a fosner partner bad accused him of difconesty, shot him dead without giving
an opportunity for defense,
nt aays that if be had done otherwise be would liave been posted as a cowaHL The Msasninwtion, however, ha* tuiy vindicated hla honor and *ur-
Barnuin would
whistle can be heanl,
ordinarv circumstances, 3,300
all cases of breach of promise, as the ink fades away and leaves the sheet blank in about four weeks after l«ing written upon.
NOT on squeezing terms any more," |R the wav a l'rairie du Cliien yong ladv dea^ribe* the relationa between herself and her late lover.
FEMALE HEROISM.
V'|,
The record of the exploits of those la-:, dies who, rising above the timidity attributed to the sex, have, impelled byr religious or patriotic motives, emulated' the aeeds of the most renownod warriors and soldiers in the field, would be indeed a brilliant one.
We shouid behold the wives and maidens of the ancient Helvetia, tho worthy ancestors of the modern Swiss, rolling back the veteran mail-clad warriors of Rome in disastrous defeat we should see the matrons of Britain hurling defiance at Caesar's.legionaries, and, towering above the tide of baUle, Boadicea, the war-queen of the Iceni-
Coming down to later times, the Maid of Orleans would rivet our attention— that wondrous peasant girl of Domremi, who led the chivalry or France to battle who commanded armies, attacked fortresses, hurled back the tido of invasion, and perished at last, not tairlv overcome, but the victim of disgraceful treason. Joan of Arc transmitted her heroic spirit to many of her countrv-
In the campaign of 1703, on the Sanibre and Meuse, t)umorier had for his aids-de-camp two of the lovliest young ladies of France. Of datzling beauty, their figures showed to advantage their fine cavalry uniforms, and they inspired as much respect and enthusiasm by their valor as they won admiration bv their charms. They rode into the hottest of the battle, carrying
the orders of the general, cheering on the charge, and chiding the retreat. Aw eve-witness of their exploits tells us how he saw these girls, by their remonstrances, more than once check the flight of the panic-stricken troops. "Whither are you going, soldiers?' they cried, in tlieirslender voices. 'The enemy
are
A
not in that direction. Jollow
us'" and, waving their gleaming swords, they would lead in the path of danger and glory.
In almost every stricken held of modern times where the French colors have jH waved, we are told that women have been found where the dead lay thickest, sleeping beside the lovers, brothers and husbands thev relused to forsake in tho hour of deadliest peril.
Turn to Spain, that land of romance where the sunlight of chivalry lingered latest, and there you will find xnlundid examples of female heroism gilding the decav of that unhappy country, like flowers brightening a ruined wall. At the sioges of Saragossa, Valencia, Gerona, and Tortosa, the women enrolled themselves in battalions, and fought with unexampled bravery beside the men Conspicuous in the glorious irray, tho figure of the Maid of Sara-* irossu rises to our vision, that lovelvfcg heroine immortalized by Byron's muse ind Wilkie's pencil—she who took tlio ul ace in the battery, where her lovor was slain, and with her own fair hands pointed the gun and applied the match, when stern veterans fell back from the storm of shot and shell that poured upon them. The Greek and Hungarian revolutions were illumined by such valiant examples of female heroism and our own Revolutionary annals are not without numerous instances or female courage displayed in the holiest causes. It would require a. large volume to record in the briefest lnannei the service** wouiou hiivo renneiotl in tho hour of peril.
PKOFKSSOH MOHSK tells an unocdotc of his early struggles. in Washington, employing all! his enoitrios to obtain an appropriation from a io'il5mohs£rate to the members of Congross the feasibility of the plan. He says: "I talked to them, explained the working of the instrument hour after hour. I gained
many
STOPPING
adherents still
saw that in anv were incredulous, and many scouted at tho idea as preposterous,'and pronounced |«iy instruments the toy of a crack-brained enthusiast. It was toward the close of the session, and there wero still about two or threo hundred bills yet to be passed before they came to mine. It was late at night, and finally, 1 gave up in absolute despair, and left tho Capitol building with a sad heart. 1 was bankrupt, having expended all that I had on my discovery. I walked down the Capitol steps with exactly fifty cents, all I had in the world, and a more disconsolate individual it would havo been hard to find. After a wakeful night, I arose in tho morning to find my bill passed,and a now era in tho history of science commenced." Professor Morso is now in his eighty-first year.
A
NEWSPAPER.—One of our
exchanges has tho following allegory, which wo commend to the careful consideration ol those gentlemen, who the moment they see anything which displeases them in tho columns of their local journal, rush to the printing oflic/ and cry out, ''Stop my paper."
A certain man hit his toe against a pebble and Ml hoadlongto the ground, He was vexed, and under the influence of anger and self-suflicioncv he kicked tho earth right saucily. With iinpsrturbablo gravitv ho looked to seo the earth itself cfissolve and come to naught. But the earth remained, and only his poor foot was injured in the encounter. This is tho way of man. An articlo in a newspaper touches him in a weak spot, and forthwith he sends to stop his papor. With great complaceTicy he looks to see the crash, when he finds that ho onlv hit his toe against a world that does not perceptibly feel the shock, and injures no one but hiinself."
AT aVvrfain hotel in Ohio, a LARK° mirror is placed at the entrance of the dimng-hali, which is so constructed that vou see yourself a thin, cadaverous, hungry 'jxtrson but when you come out from the table and look again in the glass, your ltody is distended l" the extremity of corpulency.
Q3] QSO
T'iruadoTIircjtherK, layt"H PJtt«
Ttircshcrx, Hwrccjmtuk'-s Thresh* j,, at jov KM
A JOXKS.
Tlireshers an«l Powei*, Tlire«hr* alone, or Powers al»ne, at
JOSKS A-
JOSES.
I ood men can get Tlinnhers on
oiig time, and have three kind*.
»hoose from, at Jonrcs A J0KE8.
oa oa !J S0
be larxest display of 8eparat»i
nnd Powers ever In tho tttrite, U® JOXKS & J03FBS. iiw at
Jones it Jones lurninh Bepara-
iorswlth orwlthcmt Trucks, an*
Towers c-itber mounted or down.
I lave jrou seen the new Tornn*
lo with windlam to fold thi
(Mocker, ami lever to a JJust th^