Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 1, Number 49, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 3 June 1871 — Page 2

:!M1 5*

Young Folks.

CHARADE.

My liret is thought by gome, 'tis plain, To be a very common name Though good grammarians wont't reirain From calling it a proper name. .My second, I reget to state,

Are tools by which the gamblers' fate Is oft determined and which reveals, Oft-times, a fate he would conceal. My whole at times physicians please To term an obstinate disease The attack, though light, fails not, 'tis said, To bring its own peculiar shade.

SCHOLIUM.

BIBLICAL ENIGMA.

I arn composed of '2T letters. My 1, 8, 12, a, 20 is a Bible plant. My 7, 15, 23, 5, 1 was a seajort of Idumca. My 12, 22, 2, It), IS is a precious stone. My 14, 2, 22, 24 13 was an idol of the

Philistines.

My ir», 11, 10,U, 4 is a beautiful tree. My 21, 3, 0, 12, 13 was a distinguished Invito. My 25, 2, 17, 10, 14 was a king of the

Jews.

Mr whole is a Bible command. I so I. A.

PROBLEM.

A speaks the truth three times out of eight, live times out of eight, four tim«4 out ot five. Required, tlio probability of a statement being true which they all join in affirming.

SCHOLIUM.

ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS, HADES IFCC. IN LAST WEK PAPER.

CHAIR'S

Problem.—Solidity, 2,000,0*8 inches. Length of Rod, 78.54 Length of chain, 20 feet.

cubic feet.

HIIIMl'.U, SQUARE-WORD. A I) A I) O E

A E N E N 1).

Cross-word Enigma.—A Puzzle Miscellaneous Enigma.— Izaalc ton.

Wal-

()i Don INCH unru.—He was a littlo flustered on lirsL entering the chapel— so many people there, ana all sitting so quietly, In thjs thero wits something awesome for Our I log, and when out ot this unnatural quiet they rose suddenly to sing, Our Dog was frightened, and would have run out of doors, only the doors were closed. He soon recovered himself. They wero only folks, after all—such as he saw every day in .street and house.

Jin began to recognize one alter another. Tie tried to get up a little sociability with them, but they took littlo or no notice of him. Everybody seem ed strangely constrained and altered, our Dog is a pet, and this cut him. But hip is a self-reliant, reeuperativo nature, so he threw himself on his own resources for amusement. Ho was delightfully ignorant of the proprieties of church or church service. The choir is separated from the congregation only by a slightly raised platform. On this walked Our Dog. Again there was singing, lie smelt first ot the organ ho then smelt of tho organist, and wagged his tail at him. Tho organist looked with an amused and kindly eye, but ho could not stop. OuW*g'then smelt of tho bassp profundo fao smelt ot tho Itaimr k0ttW»lt tlmm f»J o» "o ami ttion on the other. I hen ho went buck and re-smelt them all over again also the Organ. That was a little, curious. There might bo a chorus of (.logs inside, and that man at the keys tormenting them. To him, at any rate, it was not melody, Ho walked around it and smelt at evey crack and corner, to get at the mystery, lie tried to coax a littlo familiarity out of that choir.

They seemed to bo having a good time of course, he wanted a bond or a pawin it himself. It was ol no uwe. He stood and looked, and wagged his white, bushv tail at them as hard a.i lie could. But, selfishly, they kept all their pleasure to themselves. So ho left tho choir and caino down again among tho congregation. There, sure enough, were two little girls on the back seat, lie knew them he had enjoyed man a romp with them. Just tho thing! lTp he jumped with his paws on that back seat yet oven they were in no humor for play. They pushed him away, and looked at each other, as if to say, "Did von ever see such conduct in*church?A

It was rebuff everywhere. Our Dog would look closer into this matter. Tho congregation were all standing tip. So he walked to the open end of a pew, jumped on it and behind the people's backs, and walked to got in front of the little girls, that he might have an explanation with them. Just then tho iiymn ceased. Everybody sat down with the subdued crash of silk and broadcloth. Everybody on that bench came near sitting on Our Dog. It was a terrible scramble to get out.

Still he kept employed. Thero was a line of chairs in the aisle. In one of theso deliberately sat Our Dog. If everybody would do nothing but sit still and look at that man in tho pulpit, so would he. But somehow he moved

one

hind leg inadvertently. It slipped over the chair's edge. Our Dog slipped over with it, and came as near tumbling as a 1 cing with four legs can. All this made noise, and attracted attention. Little bovs ami girls and big boys ami girls snickered and snorted and strained as only peoplo can snicker, snort, aud strain where they ought not to. Even some of the elders made queer faces. The sexton then tried to put Our Dog out. But he had no idea of going. He had conic with our folks, and he was not going until they went. The strange man grabbed for him, and he dodged him time and again with all his native grace and agility. This was something like it was fun. The sexton gave up the chase it was ruining the sermon. Our Dog was sorry to see him go aud sit down he stood at a distance and looked at liitn, as if to say, "Well, ain't vou going to try it again

No. No inore of that. Nobody was doing anvthing save that man in the pulpit. 'ur Dog would go up and see what ah that was about. So he marched up the main aisle, and as lie did so ho waved, in a im\jestic and patruniziug sort of way, his bushy tail, and it seemed to say, "Well, you can sit here, glum and silent, if you've a mind to. 1 do no such thing. I'm a dog: I need none of your preaching I'm superior to all that. Things go easy enough with me, without coming here once a week to sit silent, sad, melancholy, and stupid, and IK* scoldcd at by a man wliom you pay tor it."

Then, in an innocent and touching ignorance that he was violating all the proprieties of time and place. Our Dog went boldly up on the pulpit stairs while our minister was preaching, and 'stood and surveyed the congregation.

Indeed, ho appropriated much of that congregation's attention to himself. He stood thero and surveyed that audience with a confidence and assurance tvhich, to a nerrons and inexperienced

speaker, would be better than gold or diamonds. He didn't care. He smelt of the minister. He thought he'd try and see if the latter were in a mood for any sociability. No he was busier than any of the rest. The stupidity and silence of all this crowd of people who sat there and looked at him puzzled Our Dog.

Jle could seo no sense in it. Some little boys and girls did smile as lie stood there seemingly, those smiles were for him. But so soon as he reciprocated the apparent attention, qo soon as he made for them, the smiles would vanish, the faces become solemn. And so at last, with a yawn, Our Do$ flung himself on the aisle floor, laid his head on his fore paws and counted oyer the beef bones he had buried during the last week. Not a word of the sermon touched him it went clear over his head.—LijtpincoWs Magazine.

QUITE a romance attaches to the life of the young Marquis of Bute, the Catholic hero of "Lothair," one of the greatest land-owners in England, and the "greatest match" in the three kingdoms. His mother, the late Marchioness, was sister to the unfortunate Lady Flora Hastings, one of the maids of honor to Queen Victoria. The scandal concerning this unhappy lady was matter of delectation to the former generation, who knew nothing of the improved immoralities of modern day development. Suffice to say that Lady Flora Hastings was accused of unchastity, and, though the charge was abundantly disproved, was forced to leave tho Court, and died of a broken heart. For the the voung Queen's cold treatment of her sister, the late Marchioness of Bute cherished toward her sovereign the most implacable resentment. Not only did she refuse to pay her respects to tho Queen when the royal yacht lay in Rothesay Bay, but she ordered the very windows of Mount Stuart House, her residence, looking toward tho yacht to bo darkened, On her death-bed she implored her son, tho present Marquis, never to permit himself to bo presented at Court. He has fulfilled the request, and the fact of his quitting the Church of England for the Communion of Rome was due in a large measure to his hatred of the Queen as the head of the Anglican Church.

GRACE (JIUEENWOOD, in a letter addressed to Horace Greeley on tho woman movement, administersthe following anodyne to the great philosopher's nerves:

The good husband and father will find that the soul of a true home will survive the magnanimous granting of the rights we claim. Otherwise, wo were ingrates indeed. Dinners will be as well cooked as now—domestic servico will be no more uncertain—liearthfires will burn as brightly—easy-chair, dressing-gown, and slippers will bo conserved. If mamma goes quietly out on election day to vote for mayor or for governor if Miss Alice drops into the hospital clinic, and Miss Emma runs round to tho law-school to take notes ot a leeturo on the laws of divorce, I have the cheerful faith to believe that there may still come, now and then, to pater familias the old familiar milliner's bill, or the French bootmaker's little account, to console him with the assurance that 'lovely woman still stoops to folly."

A I'I.KA Foil TRUTH.—'The sin of this age is sham *jflul falsity. Whoro tho utterance of truth involves a little un-* popularity, it is not uttered by uie groat majority,'and, if the lio is not spokon in words, it is in acts. This falsity underlies all classes and phases of society —social, political, commercial, religious, Speaking of this sin as regards the press, Theodoro Tilton. in his new outspoken, sparkling paper, "The Golden Age," says, Tho press is forfeiting its influence by its falsity. At bottom, men and women love the truth. And if thev havo no intellectual instinct to tell tliem what is truth, they havo a moral instinct that tells them whether or no there is a purjipse 'to give the truth. They ej^nnot decide on what is truth or otherwise in fact. They cannot decide on what is true or otherwise in fooling. They cannot detect ignorance. They cannot detect insincerity. An insineero press will be discredited. Even great ability will not sustain it long. The press with half the wealth it now has, and twice the sincerity, would more than doublo its influence. Wo mean to add, if wo can, something of this clement as our contribution to the improved journalism of the future."

WHERE is MOUNT SINAI?—It has long been a study and wonder amoii(j biblical students* where Mount Sanai was. At a receipt scientific meeting in England, evidenco was furnished to show that this mountain was no other than the one now known as Gebel Musa. Here a fine cliff fronts an extensivo plain, in every way answering to the requirements of the sacred narrative. The tradition of the country points to a still higher peak in a portion of the mountain hidden from the plain, as the scene of tho delivery of the law, while the topography of the place points to the elifl before mentioned as the scene of the proclamation. According to writings and drawings furnished, Gebel Musa is the highest pinnacle of the many which form the mountain of Sinai, it is the only one which form the mountain of Sinai, it is the only one which has any traditional claims upon the faith of pilgrims, and upon it are built a Christian Impel nnd a Mohammedan mosque

ON Thursdays Rondout liverv keeper was ordered to furnish a carriage to convey a clergyman at Port Kwen, and the family of S.'W.Cornell,ofEddyvillc, I to the residence of a Mr. Dvnehart, near

Rhinebeek. When the clergyman arrived, he was informed that he was to marry Mr. llenrv Astor—son of Win. 1 B. Astor. of New York—toMiss Lavinia

Dvnehart, daughter of the gentleman I mentioned. The ceremony was soon concluded, anu the bride" and groom were driven to the elegant residence of the latter, near Barrytown adjoining that of his father. The family cf Mr.

Astor endeavored to prevent the ceremony, his brother William arriving just too late to enter his protest. Miss Dvnehart is described as oftine personal appearance her father works a small farm on shares, and is honest and industrious, but poor. As Mr. Henry Astor possesses an independent fortune of his own. he has had only his own inclination to consult in choosing lus wife.— Eagle, May KUA.

A CURIOUS FACT.—It is a curious fact. well known among our hat and rap manufacturers, that different localities u*e different sizes of hats and caps as standard sizes. Boston and the East

ern

dium to the largest »l*es, and Chicago and the Western States require the largest sizes. Goods manufactured fori one market cannot be sold fbr the other, only in exceptional cases. The South use a shape peculiar to theinselves, and of large alw.

T, r.

PIOUS

GAMBLING.

0l.m.

offo. on the occasion ot a

Baptist Fair in this city, wo culled tho attention of the religious world to the fninry done to their cause by so-called reffiimr and other unfair practices too common at such places. Sinoe then, we notice that a strenuous effort has tee? rnado by some of the churches to p^hibit any such illegal modes of money-making, and we notice also that they have lost nothing, even in a pecuni2y view, bv tho action, besides gaining immeasurably in moral position

Fair which i- now in progress in Brooklyn brings the matter before the public again. It is for the pest of purposes—a Hospital for women and Foundlings-and is under the conduct of ladies both Catholic and Protestant, whose devotion and charity no one can question. They havo a large and brillant display of goods for sale, and ought to have in that way an assured success. Wo scruple tho less, therefore, to remonstrate with them for introducing the element so liir^cly into their plans. It is natural for generous women eager in a good cause to overlook the ultimate effects ot the machinery they einplov. But the moro noble the purpose the" more requisite isit that it should not be accomplished by criminal means. Either gambling is wrong or it is not: if it is, we, for our part, can see little difference in a young man's winning SI,000 at a faro-table, or one to which tho name of St. Peter invites him, except, indeed, that in the later case the sanction of religion is given to what the law prohibits as a crime. The very women who would bo most appalled at the thoughts of their sons or brothers billing into such temptation, are the lirst to offer it here under tho cloak of pious charity, and with all tho allurements of winning smiles and bright glances. "Did you ever," said the confessor to tho penitent, "put green glasses on your horse to make him eat saw-dust for oats?" I never did, yer riverence." "Never do, then. It's tho meanest kind of cheating, that is." Next time Pat, having finished his list of sins, mumbled out, An I thricd the green glasses. Father." What! Did n't I tell vou that was the devil's own plan?" "Yes, sur. But it was yer riverence as brought mo tho news of it."

The siory is old and coarse, but it has its moating.—N. Y. Tribune.

THIS is what Harper's Weekly has to say about President Grant: The general opinion of tho President —the people's opinion—is, wo think, that he is a plain, honest man, who means to do his duty as faithfully and patriotically in the Cabinet as he did in the field whose administration has been eflicicnt, satisfactory and creditable, diminishing the debt, reducing taxation, restoring the union, and honorably and peacefully setting tho most threatening foreign difficulty. The President's maniv message" upon the San Domingo question has removed any party irritation upon that point, and the Ku-Klux bill, which tho Tribune approves, is undoubtedly generally approved also by the peoplo, although severely criticised in many papers. Undoubtedly General Grant is not considered to be a good "party" President. But that does not weaken him with the country so long as thero is no doubt— and there certainly is none—of his fidelity to tho principles of the party. This we believe to bo the.peoples opinion of the Pres,i'^frvyriflv ro babI of a vast' majafotjlCI' l,A-lSI~qQ£y^GB&f a while t-lie newspapers oppose1, the people support him, and it is that general confidence which makes his rortomination probable.

Ax anecdote is told of Yelpoau, an eminent French surgeon, who was a miserly, disagreeable man, and died a few years ago. ?Ie had successfully performed on a little child live years old, a most perilous operation. The mother came to him and said: "Monsieur, my son is saved, and I really know not how to express my gratitude. Allow me, however, to present you with this pocket-book, embroidered by my own hands." "Oh, Madame," replied Yolpoau, sharply, my art is not a mere question of feeling. Sly lilo has its requirements like yours. Dress, even, which is a luxury for you, is a necessity for me. Allow me, therefore, to x-efuse 3'our charming littlo present, in exchange for a moro substantial remuneration." "But, Monsieur, what remuneration do you desire? Fix tho foo yourself." "Five thousand francs. Madame."

The lady verv quietly opened tho pocket-book,which contained ten thousand franc notes, counted out live, and after politely handing them over to Yelpeau, retired. Imagine his feelings!

A QUART of water is daily passing through the skin of a sound person. It evaporates through the minute openings which cover the whole surface, and if these bo plugged ur, is compelled to travel through the kidneys, and gives rise to internal disorder." Ablution, herefore, if sound health is to be preserved, is a duty of tho lirst importance. Puro air is also essential to health, and at night a free supply of it is of especial moment. Each sleeper draws into tho chest a certain quantity of tho surrounding atmosphere, and returns it alter a change within the body, mixed with a poison. One hundred and fifty grains by weight of this poisonous ingredient are added to the air of a bedroom in one hour by asingle sleeper—more than one thousand during tho ni^ht unless there be a sufficient quantity of air to dilute this, or unless ventilation provides for a gradual removal of foul air, while fresh comes in to take its place, health must be seriously undermined.

TIIK New Orleans Pimyttnr tells the storv of a printer, who, when his fellow workmen went out to drink beer during working hours, put in the bank the exact amount which he would have spent if he had gone out to drink. He kept to this resolution for five years. He then examined his bank account, and found that he had on deposit In the five years he had not lost a day from ill health. Three out ofliveofhis fellow-workmen had in the mean time bwome drunkards, were worthless as workmen, and wtre discharged. The water-drinker then bought out the nrinting-office, went on enlarging the business. and in twenty years from the time he lxgan to put by his money he was worth 9100,000. The story, whether new or old, teaches a lesson which every young mechanic should lay to heart.

I JOHM BOYKR, a half-breed at Cheyenne, just hung for murder, made this dying speech. It is a model of brevity:

Me no squaw: me brave. You feel my leg he no shake my hand he no

States use the smallest sizes. New niv lee York and the Middle States use the me- tremble, nccdcr. Me damn good man,"

PAPER car-wheels have been patented. The paper is subjected to pressure, fastened with thin bars of steel, and then fitted with a steel-flanged tire. The wheel is cheaper, lighter, and safer than one of ordinary iron.

THE MAN A GEMENT OF CHILDREN. There is a tendency, we think, at the present day to put children too forward, not so mnch for the sake of showing oft their extraordinary merits to an admiring world, as irom the better motive of early accustoming them to the conversation of grown people and the usages of society, and of inspiring them with confidence, ease, and self-possession. $o doubt these results are very valuable but the mistake which many people make is in forgetting that children are something like, dogs, which require to be very well trained beforo thev can safe bo recommended to^ tho fiirriiliarity of strangers. And it is to he remembered that the moment children cease to respect any of the grownup people with whom they associate, not only is the whole benefit of the intercourse lost at once, but real injury is inflicted on the moral tono ot tho child. For this reason children should he brought as littlo as possible into the society of men and women who cannot command their respect while of those who can, the influence should be hedged round by all tho numerous impalpable harriers which judicious parents know perfectly well how to interpose between children and the most popular and cureless of their adult play-fellows. The confidence which well-bred children at onco repose in an eligible stranger, without being either rudo or troublesonio, is charming to everybody who has any natural taste for their so-

C1But closely allied with the mistake license allowed to children in matters like tho above, is the disposition to laugh at, and thereby to encourage all traits of singularity, oddness, cr affectation, which children may exhibit, as marks of genius which ought not to be sepressed. Of all the dangerous errors into which parents can fall, this, in our opinion, is the worst. For nothing so soon hardens into second nature as juvenile eccentricity and few things are more injurious to success in life than marked oddities of manner and gesture when thev reach tho point of Srotesqueness.

Trhe

world

majority of the

agree with Mr. Peter Magnus tlicv don't sec the necessity of originals. And what is more so, man "originals" are only sham ones after all. That is to say," their singularity is merely a bad habit which they can't shake off, and is only very partially innate. When you see a child doing anything unlike other children, anything queer, surprising, or uncouth, however comic or however clever it may seem, never laugh at or applaud it. Children naturally very self-willed, and with real natural peculiarities, can soon be broken of such tricks, if treated with absolute indifference. But soon let the idea find its way into their brains that such sallies, naughty though they be, arc regarded as marks of genius, and tho mischief is done.

To come back to the point from which wo started—the management, namely, of young children—there is one thing to bo laid down let there be no divided rule in a house. Don't let the children sec that the father means one thing and the mother another in thoirbringing up. Tliey seo the difference, if it exists, in a moinent and when they do, farewell to all wholesome parental influence. Husbands and mothers many talk too freely beforo their children, forgetful of their rising intelligence. And, indeed, nothing is moro common than to get a wink from tho head of tho

yHT^i^Hiy is listening openmouthed to yofriT witty narrative, while he himself the next moment, will offend against his own precautions in the most barefaced manner by plunging headlong into your domestic eontroversey, in which, to speak metaphorically, knives are freely used on both sides.

WHK£ the present Marquis of Westminster was Lord Grosvenor he was travelling through tho United States, lie happened to be one day at a station in the West waiting for a train. A Western farmer addressed him thus "Bin about theso parts consid'able, stranger?" "Yes, for some length of time." "Liko 'em pretty well, eh?" "Yes pretty will." "How long have ver bin here?!,' "A few weeks." "What's yer business?" "I have no business." "What aro yer travolin' for then?" "Only for my pleasure." "Don't yer do any business? IIow d'yer got yer livin', then?" £j"It isn't necessary for me to work for my support. My father is a man of property, and gives 1110 an allowance sufficient for my wants." "But s'pose the old man should die?" "Jn that case I dare say he would leave me enough to live upon."

Then came the supremo supposition made by tho farmer "But s'pose he should bust up?"

The idea of such a destructive explosion on tho part of a peer whose income according to poular legend, is £1000 a day, Sundays included, was nothing strange to the farmer, though it may have set Lord Grosvenor a-thinking.

METHODIST VS. BAPTIST.—In a certain town, in tho western part of Massachusetts, thero is a considerable rivalry between the Methodist and Baptist churches, and it te carried so far that the school children have taken it up.

A short time since two boys, of alout the samo age, got into a dispute about the churches, one being a Jiaptist and the other a Methodist. Words soon led to blows, and the scrimmage finally ended in the "close communion" boythrowing the Methodist into a brook near by. The latter crawled out of the brook,"dripping wet, and shaking his fist at "close communion," said "You "can lick me, but you can't make a Baptist of me." "Well, j'ou'vo leen immersed, anyhow," was the self-satisfied rejoinder.

WK hear that the absurd theory of the earth's rotation has at ln^t been exploded bv a German farmer in Berks county, Penn'a. He told his neighbors all along that he didn't believe any such foolishness as that about the

world

THE HINGLISHMANS FOX' VNT. The Washington Cupitol has a racy Recount of how the Joint High Commission wore treated to a fox hunt— a real fox and real (carriage) horses having been provided for the occa-' sion. The weather was bad, unfortunately. As a punning friend of our Washington correspondent remarked, it continued to reynard (rain hard) all day." But the jovial fox-'unters managed to keep us wet within and without, and so staved off the influenza,and rheumatism. On arriving at the residence of Mr. Suit, six miles from Washington, whero tho hunt was to take place, tho hunters punched and lunched—tho punches being 'ot, as the weather was "bhirsted cold,you know." Then tho party mounted, the fox turned out by the "boy, and started with a vim, and the hounds let looose. The Patriot tells tho tale of this lively dido: "The fox, with great good taste, kept running round the baronial castle, and as the hunters kept after him, it was hard to tell whether tho hunters were chasing the fox or the fox chasing the hunters. As for the hounds, they unfortunately took after some Southdown mutton that they happened to see in a distant lield, and they didn't get back for a week. "The hunt continued round tho house and the fox would undoubtedly have been caught, but for the singular and eccentric conduct of the horses. Whenever spurred to their noblest efforts, they would stop and kick, and several English noblemen, and all the members of tho Joint High Commission, were sent sprawling upon the grass. We aro pained to write that ISarl do Groy's gallant steed, and General Schenck's carriage horse, fell down, and when tho nobleman was set upon end, it was found that his aristocratic nose was severely skinned. When ex-Attorney General Hoar was thrown, he lost time looking for his spectaclcs, but when found, he continued tho cliaso on foot. Being somewhat bewildered, ho turned and ran in the opposite direction of tho hunt, and spoiled it all by meeting the fox, instead of taking after him, as ho ought to have done, like a genuine fox hunter. As it was, he nearly frightened the fox to death by making the animal believe that a low sort of stratagem had been resorted to instead of fair fox-hunting, such as he had been accustomed to.

As it was, the animal headed oil in this extraordinary way, took refuge in the stable-yard, and was about hiding himself in a hen-coop, when the ex-At-tornej'-Gencral caught it by the tail, found himself possessed of tho bushy narrative, for the fox was so weak aud exhausted that he let his tail go. All the gallant hunters rode up, and surrounding the ex-Atorney-Gencral, blew their tinhorns while congratulating him upon securing tho brush.

After this there was more lunch, moro hot toddy, and then all mounted and went off in search of another fox. There was no fox to be found, because Suit had only bought one. He said if he had known that fool of a Yankee was going to put an end to the sport in that way. he would have had another fox, so as to have a real, good, long hunt ... rs

turning over every day, and he

said that he would prove that he was richt. So he placed a pumpkin on a stump, and sat on the? fence watching it for twenty-four houre,and his neighbors sat there watching it with him. Sure enough the pumj»kin did not roll off and the whole party went home, convinced that the rotation business was a humbug.

GKACK GREKSWOOII has been taking look at the planets through the big telescope at the Washington Observatory and comes back at the human rac** with this string of conundrums, which we give up in advance: "They are bigger and brighter worlds than

n(i!-s—those

planets of the first order.

I wonder if they are really higher and It pAntt ti

happier. A re there no Red Republicans in Mars?—no prize-fighters in belted Jupiter?—no whisky rings in Saturn? —no Laura Fairs in Venus?"

A STUBBORN STRIPLING. Once upon a time, a big, strapping, awkward youth, fresh from tho Green Mountain State, .entered tho Drummer's Academy at Bayfield, Mass., for a littlo share ol' the erudition that was doled out nt this toinple of Minerva at economical prices. At that time—we do not know ilOW/ it nt, prfiamil—tli« boys and trie girls wore kept in a department, only the middle aislo separating them. "One day, this Ycrmont stripling, who had just been helping one of tho girls through a hard sum (ho was cute on ciphering), thought it no more than fair that he should tako toll for his valuable services accordingly ho threw his stalwart arm around the rosy damsel, and gave her a sly but rousing, smack, which startled the whole school. "Jedediah Tower como right up here!" roared tho preceptor.

The delinquent obeyed, his face glowing with blushes, like a red-hot warming-pan, and looking as silly as a ninny.

Hold out your hand, sir! thundered tho pedagogue. I'll teach you to act thus in this institution."

The huge paw was extended in a horizontal line toward the instructor, who surveyed its broad surface with a mathematical eye, calculating how many strokes of his small l'crulo would suffice to cever tho largo number of square inches which it contained. "Jedediah," at length, ho said, "this is the lirst time youliavo been called up for delinquency now, sir, if you will say that you aro sorry for what you havo done, I will let you off this time without punishment."

Sorry exclaimed tho youngster, striking an attitudo of priuo and indignation, "sorrv! No,sir! I am not. I will do just so again, if I havo the chance. So put it on, old fellow, just as hard as you like. By tho jumning Jehoshaphat! I'd stand here and let you lick till kingdom come, before I'd be sorry for that, by thunder, I would."

THE GOOD OLD DAZE.

BY JOHII UILI-INfiS.

IIow I dew long (onco in a while) for tho good old daze. Them daze when there was more fun in 30 cents than there is now in seven dollars and a half.

Them daze when a man married M5 pounds of woman, and less than 1»JS (awl told) of anything else.

How I dew long for them old daze when edukashun konslsted in what man did well.

Them daze when deakens were as austere as horse-reddish, it ministers preached to men's soles instcd of their pockets.

Them daze when polytyks was the exception and honesty tho rule. Them daze when lap dorgs and wet nusses wan't known, and when brown bred and baked goose made a good dinner.

Them daze when a man wasn bizzy he was watched, and when wimmen spun only that kind of yarn that was good for the darning of stockings.

How I dew lone for them old daze when now and then a gal baby was called Jerusha, and it 1»oy wan't spilt if he was named Jerryinier.

And vo who have tried the feathers and fusi of life, who have had the codfish of wealth without sense stuck under your nose, cum liencath this tree and long for an hour with me for them good old daze when men were ashamed to 1x3 fools,and wimen were afraid to be flirts.

X. II.—Tlicv used to make milk punch in theni daze that was very handy to take.

Dr. Gwin, Duke of Sonora" under Maximillian, is said be an aspirant for re-election to the Senate from California, in place of Senator Cole, whose term expires in 1S73. The Duke will aspire" for some time, we suspect, before he takes the certificate of election with him to Washington.

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HORACE GREELEY AS A PRESIDENTS CA NDIDA TE IN 1878. LEAVENWORTH, May 29.—Yesterday the Times published the following correspondence

LEAVF.NWOIUI CITY, KANSAS, April JR, 1871. To Hon. Iforace Greelcjf

DEAR SIR—Your many friends in Kansas desire to havo your views in relation to your name being brought before the next National Republican Convention, in 1872, for nomination for President.

Without any disrespect to General Grant, we believe that no living American statesman has the claims of yoursell for President. Very respectfully, your friend, WM. LARIMOKK.

NEW YORK TRIBUXK NEW* YORK, MY DEAR SIR: I have yours of the twenty-ninth ult., asking pointed questionswith regard to our political future. I must respond in great haste. I trust never henceforth to bo an aspirant for1 any office or political position whatever, but I fully propose also never to decline any duty or responsibility which my political friends shall devolve upon me, and of which I shall bo ablo to fulfill

TRIBUNE OFFICE, K, May 4,1S71.

the obligation without neglecting older and moro imperative duties. 1 have not yet formed a decided opinion as to the man who ought to bo our next Republican candidate for President, but it seems to me advisablo that there should bo a steadfast, constant believer in the good old Whig doctrine of one Presidential term, \ours,

HORACE GREELEY'.""*

Tho Times editorially remarks that Mr. Groeloy has many warm friends in Kansas, and iu the southeastern portion of tho State "Greeley Clubs" are already organizing. This letter itselP was evidently written for publication, and places Mr. Greeley squarely boforefi«! the public as a candiuato for tho Presidency

TIIE TRUE RELATION OF A PAPER TO ITS PARTY. In his address beforo tlio Indiana Ed-* itorial Association tho other day. Col. M. C. Garber, editor of tho Madison Courier, took lor his subject "Tho truerelation of a paper to its Party," and* treated it in a masterly manner. We'., would liko to publish it in lull, but want of space compels us to bo satislied$ with tho following paragraph:

Tho printing press is tho keen literature of progress. Yet it does not make public sentiment. Newspapers becomo influential, and, it may bo said, independent just in tho degree that they faithfully represent the reading and: thinking 'members of society. They decline in popularity and influence in just tho degree that they fail to pursue that courso which commends itself to tho intelligent judgment of their readers. For this reason no successful newspaper can afford to tio itself to any political party, to obey its decrees in, all cases, whether they meet with tho approval of its judgment or not, much less to any individual. Tho honest, newspaper must point out defects, however high tho authority of tho decree of tlio party or popularity ol tho leader. Tho newspaper must fulfill tho same duty which Edmund Burke demanded of tiio statesman, viz: "Thathe should bo strong, steadfast, supporting and iiw harmony with tho proportion and ol joct of the structuro, not a more weath-er-cock ou tiio top ot tWedilicc.,ugql'ul. only to point the veering and shifting of every fashionablo gale.",

GRATE GREENWOOD, in a very clover letter to tho Sunday Chronicle, answers* a good many questions put to her by tho editor of tho same journal. Wo wish he would go on catechising Grace indefinitely, for in answering him she is answering a million of objectors, and tho attacks of such an independent skirmisher, and through an organ of the general press, aro often more effectual Inn any other means of warfare. On the subject of voting sho says "Now, wero I still a Philadelphia!!, I think 1 could quite as modestly, properly, and pleasently walk to the polls.and drop in a ballot lor John W. For-* noy for Govcrnoriofthe Commonwealth,, as "go to the Academy of Music and sit through aperlbrmancoofLydiaThompson's blondes, or oven tho Opera Boulle, with Tostec and the Can-Can. It seem1 to mo that any woman, decorously shawled and bonneted, may sit in the* jury-box with men, with no moro sacrifice of feminine delicacy than the Long Branch belle, poor thing! has to make, every hopnight, when, in fash-' ionablo undress, she is whirled about tho ball-room, by chance partners, in. tho mad galop or voluptuous waltz."— Revolution..

GETTING EVEN ON A SELL.—George* Hardingol'the Louisvillo Ledyr is after Dr. Hawn, of Leavenworth, Crawlord county, by saying that tho doctor has recently performed a very extraordinary surgical operation upon a gentleman in Kentucky. Tho operation consisted in the ongraftation of a half grown rat's skin into a wound upon a man's hip, where tho skin had been torn off. O) courso the wound healed, and is now haired over, but there is a littlo trouble about it. Tho cats and dogs in the neighborhood constantly annoy tho man, biting at that portion of tho skin engrafted. Harding tells this story to offset one he published several yearn-* ago, while on aNew Orleans paper, on the authority of Hawn, which proved a sell. The doctor told him that a severe storm had passed over Matagorda.. Island, iu the Gulf of Mexico, and had* blownVlown a numlicr of trees, which killed a large number of troops. As there never was a free on the island, the joke. a« published, WJIH a huge one on Harding.

ONE of the most remarkably apposite parallels furnished in all history for tho* invth of Satan rebuking sin is attributed to Kaiser Wilhclm. it is said that while at Versailles, a deputation of hi*. Catholic subjects called upon the then King, now Kaiser, with an appeal for his aid in maintaining the temporary power of the Pope, and that his majesty replied: "I look upon the occupation of Rome as an act of violence and arrogation on the part of Italy, and after the termination of this war I will, in connection with other monarchs, consider upon steps to IK? taken against it." This, from a sovereign who lias himself, "by violence and arrogation," stolen half of Ienmark, absorded Hanover and Nassau, and reduced half a score of independent States to the condition of Prussian provinces, is certainly cool to absolute frigidity.

SOMEBODY who has been investigating the social evil says he is thoroughly convinced more girls aro seduced into a life of shame by a desiro to keep up with the times in fashionable attire than from any other cause. Therefore it seems plain that the example of extravagant rich women, in tho proluse, luxury of their dress, has led and is. leading thousands to destruction.