Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 1, Number 43, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 22 April 1871 — Page 2

Page PDF (9.60 MB)

Back to issue view

4K,

Rural.

jculturif} "P1!'"?'

n1)

Early Rose on a Garnet

Chili, and also a Garnet Chill on nn

R^se»

like manner. I took a

Chili and scooped out every eve then "cut from an Early Rose a slice in shape somewhat like a shield, containing a line germ or bud. This shield was in-

111 11

Plowed for it in the

Chili, stink on with two 1 bound fast with bass.

pins,

and and

The bud

shield were made 10 lit as exactly as ^possible, and the grafted specimen im rr?i planted in tho usual manner. -The two sorts operated upon are both reds—the Chili a littlo darker, and round in shape, the Rose paler red, anil oblong. All the specimens came uj *and grew well. They were dug Aug j„24. The Rose grafted upon tho Chili

ave a fair crop—about one-half of tho lose type and color, and the other half of the Chili type, but pure white.

As to the Chili, grafted into the Rose, ivines wero extremely large, and, when dugf gave a largo yield of beautiful po.tatoes, but all of them with clear white *skins, except one or two to each point .which were red both colors were the Chili type, and no apparent sign the Early Rose among them.

It A IN AND

STOCK-RAISING

MOS

TANA.—A letter from Helena, Montana, Hpoaking of lie agricultural capabilities "of that section, says: "So rapidly has sthe growth of grain been developed at home, that Government contracts to ,supply posts and agencies are being, for the first time, let and tilled in Montana, and when in two or three years .more there shall bo hundreds of additional laborers throwing up tho grade and spiking down the track of the

Northern Pacific Railroad, we shall still have ample means to find them at least •with bread and beef. Stock-raising increases rapidly, and has been attended with such uniform success that it is likely to advance rapidly to first-class prominence. Largo herds liaro been driven in fie re from Oregon, California, and Texas, and on tho bunch-grass of oui foot-hills they become as rolling fat as in the stalls of New England or in the cornfields of tho prairie States. Sheep-growing has not been tried extensively perhaps the reason is the poor promise of success, for I have never seen any very line mutton here, oxept the wild mountain sheep and then, the wool is of no great value at present,."

TVINI: A CALK.—Roslielien, of Elniira, N. Y., writes: "As a slight contriIm'ion to-vard the efforts to suppress cruelties to animals, I send you a description of a way of tying calves, that '•iseasier than the old way, more secure, takes less time, and does not hurt the calf in the least, allowing it to lie at its ease with its lore legs curled under it, entirely free, and its hind legs in a natural position, and still, by the prompt cheek it gives, preventing all struggles.

This is no theoretical idea but a good thing, that is practiced daily by a humane butcher of my acquaintance. It is this: Take a string, long and stout onougli for the required purpose, tio tho onds together, catch tho calf, turn it on its back, hold its head between and against your knees. Holding the doubled siring in your right hand, turn the end up, and' hold it with your

the end up, and hold it with your 1

string ono over each hind foot having your (.huntIt pointing toward yourself, jjring your haikl forward, drawing tho string between tho calfs foot, and slip tho long loop over tho calfs head on to its neck, and tho thing is done, in less time than you could toll another how to do it."

CoNNwrirrT FAHM STATISTIC..—Tho census returns show that Connecticut has l,040,7f)2 acres of improved and 717,064 of unimproved land, including Woodland, making a total of 2,361,416 acres. The farms in tho Stato have an aggregate value of $124,241,382, farm implements 216,591), and live stock $17,645,038. For farui labor and board of hands in 1870, thero was expended $4,405,064. The value of the animals slaughtered during 1870, is estimated at $4,881,8T8, and the farm products of that year are estimated to bo worth $26,482,150, making a total of §31,304,008. In Hartford County three-fourths of the tobacco raised fn the Stato is grown Litchfield exhibits the largest yield of hay and dairy products and Fairfield and New Haven Counties of marketgr.rdcu products. tt

Cow IN TIIK HARDWARE BUSINESS.— The Corva I lis Oregon Gazette savs a cow was recently killed in that place, for beef, and as'themaw was thrown away, a dull jingle was heard, as that ol nails. It was opened, and found toeontain two pounds of nails, some of them over two inches long, a jack-knife, a chunk of lead a rock lie size of a hen's egg, a pice#' of a gold watch fob, a five cent piece, and seven oreight large coat buttons. The stomach where these articles wore deposited had almost worn trough.

Miss MACKV MAIUIN Middlobrook, a Young Maryland girl, raised last year fi.tKKl cabbages, and, as the papers of (hat State mention with pride, she weighs only 120 pounds. Chritmas eve she sold, in Baltimore, over 500 pounds of turkey, ot her own raising, at_20 cents per pounds ami, since the 15th day of O,-tuber last, has knitted over three dozen pairs of socks.

vt.iKoisNt papers states that a farmer on th Holsas liancho, near Ixs Angeles. .ised the past season 700 bushels of corn on five acres of land, or at the rate of I to bushels to tho acre.

A mors ITEMS.

Ninetv-eight merino sheep from Vermont were recently sent overland to California.

There are six millions of real estate owners in the United Suites, the farmers being four millions of tho number.

Bug-c Uehing is a distinct industry in the fruit regions around Oobden, 111., hud some of th« most active catchers imake three dollars a day.

There Is gentleman in the neighborbood of Norfolk, Va,, who has over fifty acres in strawberries. Tt is said that he will this year employ seven or *»ight hundred pickers, lie is, perhaps, the largest strawberry grower in that vicinity, but there are other extensive "berry "plantations there, making that Section famous for strawberry growing. I? I^arge quantities of the cheap wooden rpipes which are sold by tho tobacconists •as brier-root, are made from laurelyoot, which is found in large quantities in the lower counties of Maryland, and is dug at a slight expense. Sixty tons of laurel-root recently passed through

Baltimore from the Rappahannock, being consigned to Philadelphia, where it wfll be manufactured into pipes.

1. O

Were

thumb then take tho calf's hind legs bounded into the garden in a in your left hand, place the loops of the ^sc ...

1t1?fb,uaiitb

Young Folks.

('ROSS-WORD ENIGMA.

My first is in chair bnt 'tia not in table, My next is in hav but not in tho sti My third is in heiirt but not in the

My fourth is in ocean but not in the

My fifth is in evening but not in tho

My sixth is in June but 'tis not i" Mjiy, My seventh is in kitchen but not liitho cook, My eighth Is in Shakespoare but not in the book, My whole in the name of a flower or

HowVnigrunt and sweet, is tho beautiful thing!

WMFS OF ANIMALS ENIGMATICALLY EXPRESSED. 1. A vessel, an article, and a letter. 2. Two animals. .- 3. A sign and a consonant. 4. A verb and a preposition. 5. Part of a vessel, a letter, and a title. 1 0. A title and an instrument.

PROVERR PI.

Out of tho following 46 words make eight well-known proverbs: Mice are fools. Stitch monov and clean pitchers. Jack sweeps a lit*!0 cat's ears. Along fall soon saves their nine parted little boats. Keep tho broom near shore when prido gooth away. In time before all must have now"trades. The play of a will.

JAMES B. McG.

SQUARE WORD.

Square the word "MICE."

ENIGMA.

I am composed of 16 letters*. My 1, 7, 16 is a place in a barn for holding grain. My 14, 1"), 3, '1, 8 is a kind of goods made from flax. My 11, 10, 6 is a limb of tho body. My 12. 7, 16, 2 is one of the digits. My 4, 7, 16, 2 is the name of a Summer month. My 9, 5, 3 is used by ladies in the Summer. Mv 13, 7, 16, 2 means cattle.

My whole is the name of a man who did much toward bringing about tho confederation of these United States.

NORMANDY MARINO.

Belle. Plain, III.

ANSWERS TO ENIGMAS, CHARADES etc. IN LAST WEEK'S PAPER.

Anagrams.—1. Oliver Goldsmith. 2. James Beattie. 3. Robert Burns. Rebus.—Mated, mate, mat, ma, ted, mated.

Enigma.—Baby. Charade.—Misfortune. Double Acrostic.—Chess-Board, thus: aB, IloratiO, ErA, SilveR, StaineD.

SQUARE WORDS. 2. 3. S N O W

14PJtSSS

bv Col.

A N E

I N E

A A N A I E I

O N E W E E -Wonder.,:

O E E Logogripb.

COAX on DRIVE, WHICH?"—TWO

•. ,i nies got into the gargen, and Oscar and

sent to turn them out.

Jack the do„

Jackdidn't

rage, calling Jack, the dog. Jackdidn't hear bim call, and so ho ran after them just (m mac as ne couia, tbrowiug stones and sticks at them as ho ran.

Spencer didn't like that way of doing things BO ho stayed outside, to see what Oscar could do.

Tho pigs ran overy way but the right way, and at last, to hide from Oscar, they ran through a bit of hedge, and got into a corner where they knew they would bo safe.

Oscar tried to frighten them, but ho couldn't do it. Then he tried to coax them oht. llo said, "Pig, pig, pig," but they wouldn't come they wero afraid of him.

Now Oscar, lot me seo what I can do said Spencer. Oscar stepped back a littlo, and Spencer wont up near the hedge and began calling, "Piggy, piggy, piggy."

Now, although pigs don't know very much, these ones knew it was not tho same person calling them that had been throwing stones and ns they were quito tame, they ventured out. Spcnccr threw them a few grains of corn, and said, '-Piggy, piggy. pig^y," went toward tho gate. The pigs followed him out, and ho closed the gate gently after them, saying foOnear as he did so, "Which is tlie'best plan, coax or drivo?"

A UNCLE CHARLEY.

Iloi.n ON. BOYS.—Hold on to your tongue when you are just ready to swear, lie, or speak harshly, or any improper word.

Hold on to your hand when you are about pinch, strike, scratch, steal, or do anv Improper act.

Hold on to your foot when you are on the point of kicking, running away from study, or pursuing tho path of error, shame or crime.

Hold on to your temper, when you are angry, excited, or imiosed upon, or others are angry alfout you.

Hold on to your heart when evil associates seek your company, and invito you to join in their games, mirth, and revelry.

Hold on to your good nimc at all times, for it is" more valuable to you than gold, high places, or fashionable attire.

Hold on to the truth, fbr it will servo well, and do you throughout cternlty-

Hold on to your virtue—it is aloveall price to you. in all times and places. Hold on to yoitr good character, for it is, and ever "will be, your best wealth.

XrCKX. UfFJi OF THE It F.SID EXT-\ Alabama. Lizards. Arkansas,Toothpicks. California. Gold Hunters. Colorado. Movers. Connecticut, Wooden Nutmegs. IVlaware. Musk rats. Florida, Flv-np-tho Crocks. Georgia, Buzxards. Illinois, Suckers. Indiana, lloosiers. Iowa, Hawkcyes. Kansas, Jaykawkers. Kentucky, Corn Crackers. Ixnilsiana, Creoles. Maine, Foxes. Maryland. Craw Thumpers, Massachusetts, Bay staters. Michigan, Wolverines. Minnesota, Gophers. Mississippi,Tadpoles. Missouri, Pukes. Nebraska, Bug-eaters. Nevada, Sage Hens. New ltampshire. Granite Boys. New Jersey, Blues or Clam Catchers. New York, Knickerbockers. North Carolina, Tar Boilers and Tuckoes* Ohio, Buckeyes. Oregon, Webfeets and Ilard Cases. Pennsylvania, Pennaniites and Loatherlieads. -Rhode Island, Gun Flints. South Carolina, Weasels. Tennessee, Whelps. Texas, Beefheads. Vermont, Green Mountain Boys. Virginia, Beagles. Wisconsin, Badgers.

TKRMTOKIKS, ETC.—Dakot&h, Souaiters. Utah, PolygjuuuMs. New Mexico, Spanish Indians. Idaho, Fortune Seekers and Cut-throats. Nova Scotii, Blue Noses. New Brunswick, Wshheads. Canada, Canucks.

SUPPER.'

"Town T»ik," in tho Indianapolu Mirror tells tho following story ofthu vicinity:

Sneaking about press olubs, press banquets, »nd the l\ke always brings to iny mind tho famous story often toFd

llolloway, ot the Journal_ con

cerning a "press supper over at lerreitimto a few years ago, when the Stato St» ho.a,.ttho Prnlrlo City. I„. dianapolia was large represented thero the press gang including John liollklav, Llgo Halford, Pnnon Lozier, etc and they mado themselves so enitrtainlng and agreeable Ohio man, who had more, money than brains, concluded he must glvo tho boys a banquet at tho close ot tho fa r, oxpecting to reap a rich reward in the pleasure of hearing thorn talk. I ho banquet was determined upon, and Perry Wcstfall and Fletcher Meredith wero commissioned by tho Ohio man to make tho necessary arrangements, which they did, and exceeded their instructions by paying lor the supper themselves. Ignorant of this latter fact, tho party sat down at the appointed time, tho frhio man taking the head of the table, and issuing his orders to the waiters in tho lordly style of a man who paid his money and took his choice. The banquet being sorved in an extemporaneous eating house, got ftp for culinary effect during the fair, was not a decided success, so to speak, and the Ohio man blasphemed dreadfully. He sworo at everything and everybody connected with the refectory, while Westfall and Meredith sat abashed at the lower end of the table, and mildly wondered what tho Buckeye would say when lie discovered that ho was a guest instead of tho host. The boys talked a great deal, but ate little, and the confusion of tho Ohio man was almost overpowering when ho called for the bill and found it settled! But he was a trump, though, and late as it was ho took the party to the Terre-Haute House, waked tne cooks, turned tho larder insido out, ransacked the cellar, and gave "the boys" a square meal at two o'clock in the morning.

A REBEL DOCUMENT AND ITS RESULTS.

Some

complaints are now coming into

the pension office on account ot' the dropping from the rolls of the oflice of certain pensioners in the South. These pensioners were placed on the rolls in accordance with the various acts of Congress, and at the close of the war when not obnoxious in the terms of the law which forbade payments of pensions to persons who were "in sympathy with rebellion," tho payment of pensions was continued to them. But the officers charged with examining the archives of the rebel government found therein a memorial in the Confederate Congress signed by a number of persons who had, previous to the war, drawn pensions from tho United States. These memorialists set forth in their memorial that they were entitled to pensions under what they were then pleased to designate the "so-called United States government," but that they had abandoned all claim on such government, and asked pensions at the hands or rebel authorities. They professed unflinching loyalty to the "Confederate States." This document was at once transmitted to the Commissioner of Pensions, and the names of all the signers forthwith dropped from the rolls, as this document furnished indubitable proof of their "sympathy with the rebellion."

HERE are soma specimens of Southern journalism. They are from the Brandon (Miss.) Republican. We infer that the editor don't like carpet-bag-gers:

SPECIMEN FIRST.

There is a New York carpet-bagger in the Legislature from Lafayette county named S. V. W. Whiting, who needs a" little Ku-Kluxing. He looks like a fool on stilts, and lias about as big a pile of brains as a snow bird.

SPECIMEN SECOND.

Vaughn and Willing (members of lhe Legislature) may be white outside, but their hearts are as black as tho face of a full-blooded nigger in a coal pit at night.,

SPECIMEN TniRD.

Addlobrained Adelbert (Senator Ames), son-in-law of the Massachusetts spoon thief, who forced himself into the United States senate from this Stato by Yankee bayonets and base frauds, and who is a baser coward, a bigger liar and a greater scoundrel than his blear-eyed father-in-law, made a speech in tho Senate on Thursday last which, for mean, monstrous and malignant lying, would make the devil blush for shame.

ALICE CAR VS RELIGION. Tho fact that Alice Cary was buried from an orthodox church, and that the minister who officiated at her funeral is a well-known Methodist, has been urged as affording ground for a conjecture that she gave up her faith in universal salvation beforo death. Zion's Herald finds still and her reason for such an assumption or suspicion In the religions fervor of somo of her poems, as if Universnlism were incompatible with piety! One of the editors of the Christian* Union—an orthodox man, who knew her well—sets the question at rest, as follows! "As for Miss Cary, we know, from many a long and earnest conference with'her on such subjects, how immovable was her faith in the final restoration of all souls to the image and favor of God and now compatible was this faith, not only in her case, but in that of hundreds of

SATURDAY EVENING MAI APRIL 22.1871

others

(for what is true in ono instance is unlimited, of course, in its application,) with a genuine and most attractive piety. In view of tho fact that we who hold the doctrine of eternal punishment can not bear to dwell upon it, and dare not ask of God to help us realize it, is it not a grievous wrong that those who are impelled to withhold their assent to it should for that reason be set beyond the p:.le of Christian charity, not only, but too often of common courtesy?"

A i.EcrrrRER undertook to explain to a village audience the word phenomenon "Maybe von don't know what a phenomenon is. Well, I'll tell you. You have seen a cow, no doubt. Well, a cow is not a phenomenon. You have seen an apple-tree. Well, an appletree is not a phenomenon. But when you seo the cow go up the tree, tail foremost, to pick the apples, it is a phenomenon."

THE French Republic as represented by the constitution of the Roebefort party, lays down as a corner stone the political equality of men and women. In the fifth clause it declares "universal suffrage comprehends all citizens, men and women, enjoying the right to vote." Farther, when it uses the term "people," it alwaj-s explains it by adding "men and women.

WILLIAM HAZLITT.

With Id) his eloquence and subtlety of thought, Ha/.lltt was the prey of the most craijy fancies, dread1rut all the refinements of social life, anowritblng at tho thought of being considered strange and ungainly by tho footman whom he despised. Even with his oldest friends, like Lamb and Leigh Hunt, Hazlitt preserved tho wildness and shyness of a misanthropic recluse. He enterod a room, Mr. Paterson lias recorded, as if ho had been dragged there in custody, shuffled sidelong to tho nearost chair, sat himself down on ono corner ot it, dropped his hat on tho floor, and after his set phritsw, iiul nlwta appropriate!, of "It is a fine day," lapsed into dreary silenco and seemed to resign himsolf moodily to his fato. If tho talk did not pleaso him he sat half-absorbed and indifferent, till at last by a sudden impulse hrt started up, and with an abrupt "Well, good-morning." shuttled to tho door and blundorod his way out. His self-consciousness was morbid almost to madness, and his pride oxtremo. His daily lifo was of thatsuicidal character sometimes adopted by authors who despiso tho laws of health, and suffer tho inevitable penalty of softened brain or premature paralysis. Ho usually never rose till ono or two o'clock, anil brooded over his breakfast of intensely strong black tea and a toasted French roll, till fourorfivo in tho afternoon, "silent, motionless, and self-ab-sorbed" as a Hindoo Yoger. His tea was generally very strong, as he halffilled the teapot with tea. For tho last four or five years of his life, llaalitt drank no liquids but tea and water—of the latter he sometimes drank three or four quarts while talking alter supper. This moal, of meat or game, was invariably taken at a tavern late at night. His favorite haunt for his great talks was the Southampton Coffee-house, in Southampton Buildings,Chancery Lane. Any small slight, or the inero fact of the bill being brought him before he asked for it, scared him from a tavern or chophouse for years. If ho went to the theatre, even to see the wonderful Kean, Hazlitt hid himself in aback cornerseat in the second tier of boxes, and there he sat, like asullen owl, shrouding him self from view, and trusting apparently to mere quick glances and odd moments of listening.

A LIBERAL EDUCATION. That man, I think, has had a liberal education, who has been so trained in youth that his body is tho ready servant of his will, and does with ease and pleasure all the work that, as a mechanism it is capable of whose intellect is a clear, cold, logic engine, with all its parts of equal strength, and in smooth, working order, ready, like a steam engine, to be turned to any kind of work, and spin the gossamere as well as forge the anchors of tho mind whose mind is stored with a knowledge of the great and fundamental truths of nature, and of the laws of her operations one who —no stunted ascetic—is full of life and fire, but whoso passions are trained to comoto heel by a vigorous will, the servant off a tender conscience who has learned to love all beauty, whether of nature or of art to hate all vileness, and to respect others as himself. Such an one, and no other, I conceive, has had a liberal education for he is, as completely as man can be, in harmony with nature. He will make the best of her, and she of him. They will get on ogether rarely she as his ever beneficent mother he as her mouthpiece, her conscious self, her minister and interpreter. —JIuzley. i*

MR. GREELEY,in "Thoughts on Retribution," in the Independent, says: If I were asked what single error or misapprehension had contributed more than all others to the depravity and misery of this sin-sick world, I should unhesitatingly answer: "The belief that, at the end of this mortal life, each human being passes at once .and forever into a state of perfect bliss or unmitigated suffering." How unjust such a dispensation would be—how ill-adapt-ed to recompense the mingled good and evil of this tangled web of life—I will not dilate upon. All know that the good are not wholly good—that the evil are not absolutely and unqualifiedly evil—unless in rare instances. Tho best have failings the bad have generally redeeming qualities.

THE IRON BAR.—A bar of iron, worth ^5, worked into horse shoes, is worth $10.50 mado into needles, it is worth 9355 made into penknife blades, it is worth $3,285 made into balance springs of watches, it is worth £250,000.

What a drilling tho poor bar must undergo to reach all that. But, hammered and beaten end pounded and rolled and polished, how was its value increased! It might well liavo quivered and complained under tho hard knocks it got but were they not, all necessary to draw out its fine qualities, and fit it for higher offices?

And so, children, all the drilling and training to which you are subjected in youth, and which often seems so hard to you, serve to bring out your nobler anil finer qualities, and fit you for more responsible posts and greater usefulness in the world.

THERE is nothing which adds so much to tho beauty and power of man as a goo'l moral character. Tt is his wealt h, his influence, his life. It dignifies him in every station, exalts him in every condition, and glorifies him at every period of life. Such a character is more to be desired than every thing else on earth. It makes a man free and independent. No servile tool, no crouching sycophant, no treacherous honorseeker ever bore such a character. Tho pure joys of truth and righteousness never spring in such a person. It voting men but knew how much a good character would dignity and exalt them, how glorious it would make their prospects, even in this life! Never should we find them yielding to the groveling and base-born purjxjscs of human nature.

No COMMON VOTE.—General of Nebraska, a large, jolly sort of fellow, was a successful candidate for the Legislature of that State. After the election he took a trip to Omaha, to have a good time, and receive the congratulations of his friends, one of whom said to him:

Well, General, how did you run down there?" O," replied the warrior, "I did just eternally scoop em routed cm, horse, foot and dragoons."

How did the vote stand?" Well," replied the General, "it was none of your darned unanimous things I only got ono majority!"

YfOMAN^ war against thedram shops is fairly inaugurated in Ohio. One Mrs. Streeter recently recovered damages of three hundred dollars from a liquor seller for having supplied her husband with liquor, and the consequent injury to her means of support. A Mrs. Wilson also obtained a like sum for a similar cause. The venders of rum are getting frightened, and many dram shops have been closed.

THACKKRAY once wrote that he "al ways had rather a contempt for a man who, on arriving at home, deliberately take* hia best coat, from his back and adopts an old and ahabby one

GAIL HAMILTON says that when women uiidertuko to earn money mey becomo men. Does it follow, O, thou femulo Solomon! that when a man ceases to earn money he becomes a woman?

A WESTERN woman has invented "spirit brido photographs," in which the bashful bachelor sitter's physiognomy is surrounded by those of tho maids who would not bo averse to become his bride.

LADIES complain of the great and deplorable dearth of education among the majority of young gentlemen. They are suid to have a superficial knowledge of everything except billiards, dancing, club swinging and champagne.

AN English writer says in his advice to young married women, "that their mother Eve married a gardener." It might be added that tho gardener, in consequence of the match, lost his situation.

A SPIRITED girl observes that to her mind the women who want female suffrage because it will cause division in families, must bo a precious meek lot. A woman of any pluck can pick a quarrel with iier husband without waiting to split on votes,

THE following remedies are said to be valuable or infalliblo: For corns, easy shoes for bile, exercise for rheumatism, new flannel and patience for gout, toast and water for the toothache, a dentist for debt, industry and for love, matrimony,

A BACHELOR says that all ho should ask for in a wife would be a good tem per, sound health, good understanding, agreeable physiognomy, pretty figure good connection, domestic habits, resources of amusements, good spirits, conversational talents, elegant manners, money!

WOMAN'S sphere has been much enlarged in Prussia by a recent order of the Minister of Education: Women who prove themselves qualified are to be accepted as teachers of modern languages in the public schools, a profession hitherto monopolized by tho masculine gender.

TIIEY tell of a passenger car driver in Boston who recently wore a thick green vail to protect his eyes from dust. The Boston Transcript says' "ho was so attractive and deceptive that not a few

THE Round Table says: "If any woman's head grew into such monstrous shapes as may now be seen in all directions wherever women are congregated together, it would be a cause of mourning to her family, of consultation among eminent surgeons, and she would probably spend the greater part of her time in judicious seclusion."

A SPRINGFIELD (Mass.) lady left her little boy at home to amuse himself with matches, and when she returned met him in the street, crying. He said he only just made a littlo fire in the bureau drawer, and a lot of red shirted men came with a great big tea-kettle and squirted water all over the house. They saved the cellar door.

A LAWYER, who wished to cross the river on the ice, was told that it would be entirely safe to mako tho attempt if ho crawled over on his hands and knees. Anxious to go ho humbled himself accordingly, and had laboriously got half way across when he was overtaken by a man driving along leisurely in a buggy. The rapidity with which he assumed an upright position was startling to the river.

A learned philosopher informs us that the world is shrinking and becoming smaller every day, and that in two hundred thousand million years it will be reduced to nothing. How carefbl ought we all to be. then, not to indulge in sinful waste of it, digging out cellars and things, and throwing tho dirt away! Every pound of earth dug out and removed only brings the period ot the catastrophe nearer to us.

SOME timeago a woman was tried and proven guilty of murder in the backwoods counties of Mississippi. Her counsel could find

110

redeeming clans^

to save, and at last appealed to the chi valry of the jury, who gave their verdict as "Not guilty—because she is a worn an!" This sort of tenderness has fadec out of more civilized communities wit ness the recent execution of Mary Wal lis, in Maryland.

AN Eastern paper, discussing th» "boy nuisance,"says: "Parentalopin ion is divided as to the best method disposing ofboys. There are those wlv think that letting them play with load ed guns is tho most affectual, thougl sliding them do-.vn stair bannister in six-storv hotel has its advocates in fact three instances have been reported with in a few days, in various parts of tin count ry, where this latter method work ed with complete success."

A ooon story is told of a man who wont for tho first time to a bowling alley and kept firing away at the pins to tho eminent peril of the boy, who, so far from having anything to do in "setting up" the pins, was actively at work in an endeavor to avoid the lall of the player, which rattled on all sides of the pins without touchingthcrn. At length, the fellow, seeing tho predicament the boy was in. yelled out as he let drive another ball. "Stand in among the pins, boy, it you don't want to get hurt!"

ONE J. Downing sapiently remark?*: 'I think that the privilege "of depositing a strip ofprinted paper in a box will not change Fannic's ideas as to the desirability of marrying John." His opponent answers: "This is all tho argument needed to knock down every opponent to woman suffrage. It will not causa a beard to groiv upon her face, take the music out of her voice, rob her of her charms, nor her woman's loving heart it will not in any measure change her womanly instincts nor cause her to be any more 'manish' than she would otherwise be."

AN item in an Ohio paper informs 08 that "Mr. P. B. Du Chaillu lectured before the children of Columbus on the 10th inst., and the public schools were dismissed in honor of the occasion." This seems to us extremely strange. We had no idea that Columbus ever went to Ohio, but still less did we suspect that he had children living out there yet. They must be very old and Venerable, now—those children. Their father, C. Columbus, died in 1506, we think, and so the youngest of them must be at least three hundred and fifty years old. No wonder the public schools were dismissed! We would have taken a day's holiday ourselves, just to see those old gray-haired babes sitting around In a row. listening while Du Chaillu told them stories, abnnt the gorilla and things. We wish Mr. Du Chaillu would bring the little darlings on here, so that we could take them on our knee and interview them, and ask them questions about their pa.

THE DEAD OFOUR WAR. At the banquot of the Army of tiif Tennessee, Cincinnati, the other night, General Swayne responded to tho toast, "Our dead not dead but gone before," in the following impressive words:

Our dead are the true cost of the p. Silver and gold still multiply, and art and science grow. TI10 nation has new life in all its channels, and 'free and equal' lives forever in the flag where all the world may read. Only tho dead are dead. Sometimes, perchance in trial or distress, a wistfui thought has gone in search of them, at those who were permitted in one hour to sum up and discharge all that remained for them of life, and then realized that since antiquity it has been said that it was sweet as well as glorious to die in arms for a country. Still they are dead, hopelessly dead, for the mother and wife mournfully dead for the wayward boy bitterly dead to the hour of want and need of a strong hand dead also to our lovo and yet I they live as those whose works do follow them.

Innumerable colored children south of us are learning busily the shape and structure of the world learning to lovf their country and live like men. Many a time liavo I seen tlicm and romembored that our dead men teach thos» schools! So, too, it has been taught a pretty speech that 'liberty and union' were inseparable and wero one, and il was whistled down the wind until death followed tho denial, and men road the oracle involved. Let 110 man doubt it for the evils of to-dav. They are only the mill of tho gods^ slow grinding, and these dead may vet teach that truth to all tho world. "We count then dead and reckon up our loss. God simply seems to mako them of more use."

NOT A PARALLED CASE. On one of the marches ot the Army 1 the Potomac through Virginia the horse I of a well-known chaplain of a Now York regiment "played out, and wa* left at the side of tlib road, soon after which the dominie espied a fine looking animal grazing in a field near the road. It required but a few minutes' time to transfer the saddle, etc., to hi* back, and mounting him, he was riding out 011 tho road when ho met a United States quartermaster, when tho following colloquy ensued:

Whcro are you going with thai horso?" "Going with him? Why I'm going to rido him, of course," said the chaplain. "But you don't mean to say that you're going to stea' him, do you?"' "Certainly not but my own horse has given out, and wo arc in the enemy's countiy, and— '•Oh, that's all very well, but my duty as an A. Q. M. compels me to tak« possession of him besides, I don't think it looks very well for a chaplain to bo stealing a horse, if his own ha* given out." "But my dear sir," iid the chaplain, "don't you remember that on a certain occasion our Saviour commanded one of His disciples to saddle and bring him an ass, that ho might rido into .Terusalem?" S

Yes, I know all about that, but this isn't a paralled caso, sir you ain't our Saviour, we're not goin^ to Jerusalem. and that animal ain't a jackass, so you can get right down off his back just as) soon as you please."

Tho argument of the quartermaster was coo powerful, andan unconditional surrender of the samo wasatonce made, the poor parson having to jog along on foot as best ho might.

ARTEMUS WARD'S LAST. Tho following is said to havo beeii the last thing written by Arteinus Ward:—"Until quite recent I'vo been a healthy individooal. I'm nearly sixty, and yit I've got a muscle into my arms which don't mako my fists resemble the trade of a ca.iary bird when thej fly out and hit a man. Only a lew wook^ ago I was exhibitin' in East Showbovgan, in a bildin' which had formerly been bekepled by a pngylist—ono o! the fellers what hits from tho shoulder, and teaches tho manly art of self-de-fense. And he cum and sod he was goin' in freo in consequence of previ'slv ockepying sed bildin' with a largo yellerdorg. Hosed 'Oh, yes I sed'Oh. no.' lie sed, 'Do you want to be ground

to powder?' 1 sed, 'Yes, 1 do, if there is a powder grindist handy,' when hf struck me a disgustin' blo'w in my lolleyo, which caused that concern to close at once for repairs but he didn't hurt 5 meauy more. I wont tor him energoticallv. His parents lived near by, and 1 will simply stato that fifteen minute* after I had gone for him, his mother I seein' Iho prostrato form of lier son approachin' the liouso onto a shutter, carried by four men, run out doors, keorfully looked him over and sed, 'My son. you havo been foolin' round a thrashin" masliecn. You went in at the end where they put the grain in, and came out with the straw, and then got up in the thingumagigand let the horses trod 011 you, didn't you, inayson?" You can imagino by this what adisagreeablr person 1 am when I'm angry."

MRS. PARTINGTON,

Tho original Mrs. Partington was arespectable old lady, livuig at Sidmouth. in Devonshire, England. Her cottage was on tho beach, and the incident on which her fame is based is best told in a passage from the sp"ech of Sydney Smith at Taunton, in the year IS'U, on the Lords' rejection of the Reform Bill: "The attempt of the Lords to stop the progress of reform reminds me very foribly of tho great storm at Sidmouth,and iftlieeonduet oftheexcellent Mrs. l'art.ngton on that occasion. I11 the winter jjf 1&M there set in a great flood upon ,hat town—tho tide rose to an incrodi!o height, tho waves rushed in upon io houses, and everything was threat-

ned with destruction. In the midst of [lis sublime and terrible storm, Dime irtington, who lived uporf the beach, as seen at tho door of her house, with [op and pattents, trundling her mop. iueczingout the seo water, and vigorobsly pushing away tho Atlantic Ocean. Iy "Atlantic was roused. Mrs. Partition's spirit was up. Bnt I need not tel you that tin conduct was unequal. T»'Atlantic Ocean beat Mrs. Partington She was excellent at a slop or a puVlle but sho should not havo mcddlcTwith a'tempesl." Thisspeoch is repriced in tho collected edition of Sydnejfcmith's works, and as this is, wo beltye, the first time of Mrs. Partington! namo being mentioned, tho immorVlity she has earned must be set dovias due to Sydney Smith. I

IT Vu!d have been full as well if Mrs. Vnnie Breed of Norwich, Conn., whotfcd tho other day, had not left $30,00«o her faithful servant of twenty ye»' devotion, Miss Abby Nilkey: for A1W was so overcome" with her wealtbttiat HIU actually died of happiness inWs than two weeks after unc bocameyi heiress. When poverty if= life, 'tis ^Hy to be dead because 01 money.