Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 1, Number 31, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 28 January 1871 — Page 9

RAIN ON THE ROOF.

1 BT OOL. COATES KIXKKY. ,f

When the humid shadow* hover Over the starry spheres, Ami the melancholy darkneas (Witly w«t» In rainy tear*, pf* What Joy to presa the pillow of a cottage chamber bed, And to listen to the putter

Of the soft rain overhead.

Every tinkle ni the shingle* Hsu* an echo In the heart. And a thou

Hand dreamy fancle*

In a busy being start, And a thouwnd recollections Weave their bright hue* Into woof,

nf 1 And I lUten to the patter Of the rain upon the roof.

Now In fancy cornea my mothei\ A* she used to years ngone.

•••.,.••• To surrey her darling dreamer* Kr-»he left them In the (lawn, O! I see her bending o%r me,

As I list to this refrain Which is played upon the shinnies By the |iatter of the mill.

Theh my little seraph *i*ter, With her wing* and waring hair, And her bright-eyed cherub brother—

A serene angelic jmir uide around ray wakeful pillow With their prtvi.se or mild reproof, As I listen to the murmur

Of the soft rain on the roof.

And another coines to thrill in«v WitIi her delicious blue, And forget I, gazing on her,

That her heart was all untrue. I remember but to lore her. With a rapture kin to pain, And my heart's quick pulse* vlhmt©

To the patter of the rain.

Then- Is naught In art's bravura* That can work with such a spell

In the spirit's nuredeup fountains, Whence the noly pasHions well, A* the melody of nature,

That subdued, sulxlulng strain Which is played upon tin: shingles By the patter of the rain.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.] GliORQE HARDING AHEAD. We fear that our relations with "Mark Twain" are becoming Horious. We uMcd to consider him a funny man, but we find him becoming as matter-of-fact HH a last year's bird nest. Hereafter when we wisli to be facetious we will select solemn people. Why, we might as well poke fun at a Covenanter clergyman as this professed humorist! Mut then these professed humorists all play themselves out sooner or later, and we are not surprised to ee our mountebank Slipping int* drivel and gibbering nonsense.

Mark Twain published in the Galaxy what purported to be a review of his "Inno ents Abroad," taken from the Saturday Review. He treated it with the greatest gravity, and wo professed to believe that he had been sold. Tho lion. Mr. Twain laughed at us, and declared upon his word of honor that he had written it himself. As lie li:ul lied about it in the first place we thought that there would be no harm in doing a little additional lying, and therefore we asserted that the article in question did appear in the Saturday Jtrview of October S, and oll'ered to show it to any inquiring porson who might call at our olllee. Nobody ever called. We kept a man at. the head of the stairs for two weeks to kick down the first confiding idiot who should be green enough to visit us on such revolting business.

Now we have Mr. Twain in the (1'atari/ copying our article, and crying in a loud voice as follows: "The abovo is from the Cincinnati Emjuirer, and is a falsehood. Come to

the proof. If the Enquirer peoplo, through any ageut, will produce at the Galaxy office London Saturday Revirnv, of Octoler Nth, containing an 'artlolo which, on comparison, will bo found to-bo identical with the one pub"2 lis hod In tho ataxy.''1

will paj to that

4 ageut flv»iiwiiMloi»rt caSETTVioi^ lover, if at any specified tlpie I fail to produce at tho nairie place a copy of the ljondon Saturday Review, ot October

Hth, containing a'lengthy criticism upon tho "Innocents Abroad," entirely different in every paragraph and sentence, from the one I published in the Galaxy, 1 will pay to the Enquirer's agent another five hundred dollars cash. I offer Sheldon «Vr Co., publishers, 500 Broadway, New York, as my 'backers.' Anyono in New York authorized by the Enquirer will receive prompt attention. is an easy and profitab'o way for the Enquirer poople to prove that they have not uttered a pitiful, deliberate* falsehood in the above paragraph. Will they swallow that falsehood Ignominiouslv, or will they send an agent to the Galaxy af\\cty? "In next month's Galaxy, if they do not send the agent and take this chance at making a thousand dollars where they do not risk a single cent, they will be "exposed. I think tho *»i-iniuiti Enquirer must be edited by children."

Now, this is all bosh. As Mark Twain nover told tho truth in his life, how are we to know that ho is not lying about his inordinate desire to gamble? lie knows, too, that this is not ourstyle of gambling. We will wager five hundred dollars that we have a man in our olllee who can beat Mark Twain playing poker—tho winner to build a chureii, or endow an orphan asylum, with his winnings. Tho game shall be draw poker, and shall bo played between sunrise and sunset. No limit. If Mr. Twain wants to gamble, we will

Slvo

him enough of it. By way of inueement. we will pay his expenses to Cincinnati. But to return toliisbom---—bnatio proposition. We are not to Iw "bluffed." We deputise George tho

Count Jonnnoa, to defend us Fn this fmatter. If he is convinced that our position is tenable, and that the Saturday Review, of October S, will bear us out, he is authorised to cover any money which he may find in the bands of Sheldon Co., to the crtMlit of Marcus Aurvdius Twain. As for Mr. Twain's threat of exposure, we care nothing. |,fl&ilHe is rich, and is a shining Mark for a lilel suit. He dare not attempt in oxpose us, because he knows that we have ft inAur power to prove him the biggcsl liar in America. Mr. Twain ought vto hare more respect for his infant son than to IH making a "noodle" of himself. I'pon the whole, we hare al»out concluded that the "Memoranda" of tlie (taiaxjf is edited by a lunatic.

WIDOW JUNKS CD II*.

Widower Smith's wngon atotp»d one morning before Widow Jones and he gare the usual signal that he w.inted somelwMlv in tho liouse, bv dropping his elbows on his knee*. Out tripped -the widow, livelv as a cricket, with a tremendous blade ribbon on her snowwhite eap. Good morning wns soon said on !*th sides, and the widow waited for what was ftirtber to be said: "Well. Ma'am Jones perhaps von don't want to sell oni or your cows, no how. not hi n*. no way, do you?" "Well, then\ Mr.Sttiith, you i-ouldn't have spoken mv mind better. A poor, lone woman like me, docs not know what to d« with so msnr creature, -*nd

I should be clad to trad* if we can fix it." So they adjourned to the tneadow—. Farmer Sinltn looked at Roan—then at ^jthe Downing cow—then at the widow —and so on over the whole frwty. «. .Tne same (All was made every day for •*^a week, tm Farmer Praith could not decide which row he wanted. At length.

on Saturday, when Widow Jones was in a hurry to get through her baking 1 or Sunday—and had ever so much to do in tho' house, as all farmer's wives and widows hare on Saturdar—she waa a little impatient. Farmer Smith was as irreesolute as ever. "That Downing cow is a pretty fair creature—but"—ho stopped and glanced at the widow's face, and then walked around her—not the widow, but the cow. "That ere short horn Durham is not a bad looking beast, but I don't know" —another look at the widow. "The Downing cow I knew before the Iste I)r. Jones bought her." Here he sighed at the allusion to the late Mr. Jones. She sighed, and they loth looked at each other. It was a highly in teresting moment. "Old Honn is a faithful old milch, and so is Brindlo—but I have known better." A long stare succeeded this speech—the pause was getting awkward, and at last Mrs. Jones broke out: "Law! Mr. Smith, if I'm the cow you want, do say so!"

The intentions of Widower Smith and Widow Jones were duly published the next day, as is the law and custom in Massachusetts, and as soon as they were "out published," they were married.

E A N S I

Whilo a Dutchman was reading the advertisements on the new postoffico fence, a professional "beat" came up to him and said: •'.Shon, if you treat to the whisky, I will learn j*ou a trick."

Shon agreed. "Beat" then placed his hand against the fence and told him to strike as hard as he could. Shon, not thinking any harm could befall him by doing so, struck a blacksmith's blow, but instead of hittii.g "beat's" ha the latter jerking

As there was no fence nor tree near, Shon put his hand against his mouth, and said: "Strike yitst so hard as yon can."

Mynheer struck, and Shon pulled away his hand and received tho blow on his mouth, and was knocked down. Shon jumped up, his mouth bleeding, and commenced dancing with pain. "Sherusalcni! a thousand tuyfuls dake dis goontrv! I goes pack to Holland!"

Ct'HK or ClIHONIC SOMXAStm'MSM.— A foreign medical journal mentions two instances in which chronic somnambulism was cured by administering bromide of potassium, the dose given in one instance varying from thirty to one hundred grains per day and in the othor ease fifteen grains wore given both morning and evening. The attacks in each ease gradually boeamo less and less frequent, and in a'short time entirely ceased.

0ALL AT

BROKAW BROS.,

109 Main Ntreat,

,4?- .-v" m. "^jjAnd puy something useful for your

Holiday Presents,

Wagon* and Carts, plain and fancy Painted. For the Hoys. Istilie*' (\nnpanian$,emplctely ttrnished.

LARGE

..filf

"Dears" nand,

it away, poor Shon

struck the fence-board, knocking it oft". "Mein Gott in Himmel!" cried Shon. What \-ou makes foolish? I knocks mine hand clean oiT up to tho elbow! Oh, soeker blitz! my poor frau, what will she say?"

Poor Shon was bound to. have revenge so one day as he was passing through the streets, ho espied a man. Going up to him, he said: "Myn beer, I show you one little trick for noddink."

For the (ilrls.

(Inch and Ilrackets, carved and plain. For the House. 1 'e.lvet and Hntxsef.v ItiKjx and Mats.

UK A VTIFl'I. OIL JiA .V/) I W I N O W S II A S

Rep aad Dtmiuk Cartalu (••odn. 11ANDKOMK

Looking Glasses & Mirrors.

All very suitable and will offered at reduced prices during the holidays, at Brnkmtr'* House Furmi*h»fnff Store. '•-3m

GAGG,

IjlCiJ i*.

Art Emporium 4

DRESS GOODS,

For a Lady's Trosent.

llnttdNotue Rrnssela. Velvet, anil Inirrntn

A E S

S O E

tm is*.*

No. PI .Vn.ii .ST., bet. 3d 4th.

ricrruBs. FKAMKS, I.OOKINO (5LAS8KS, ARTISTS' MATERIALS.

MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS,

AND S1IKKT MUBIC.

Plftaw I'raaili prim.

done to order at low ®-lm*

£JMFF SON,

Msnnfkctarrr* of

lXKIilOTITE, STATIONARY,

MARINE, TUBULAR,

,fcf

Cylinder Boilers.

Trim 1\uJbs, GJwtt Trim Work,

P- 'r:/ Pur At., 4

9 im Oar. QMMU tnd Main Mmt.

FLANNELS,

For your Wife.

Ladic.i' anil GentV Travelling Bags. For your Friend. Traveling, H'orA- and Stand Ilttket-9.

SHAWLS,

TERRE-HAUTE SATURDAY EVENING MAll. JANUARY 28. 1871.

Aud Very Deftiruble Stock of

DRY- GOODS

i's

X* I

FOR

SALE!,.

«i s* .v 3"

Want to Change Hiisfness!

A lai-ge and verj- desirables^

Stock of Fancy & Staple

DRY GOODS

TO BE SOLI)

At Private Sale

WITHIN THE

Next 30 Days at Retail,

AT COST

Without Reserve,

116

Main

Kext Door to Of»era House,

Consisting in part of

PRINTS, I

(HNGHAMS,

RLEACI1ED AND

15R0WN MUSIilNS,

CLOAKINGS,

CASSIMERRS,

HOSIERY,

WHITE GOODS,

BLANKETS,

NOTIONS,'

HATS,

BOOTS AND SHOES,

IN FACT

A COMPLETE STOCK

I!« AIX BRAHr^HEk

Being determined to CLOME MY BUSIin Dry Ooods I will oflfcr my

Entire Stock at Prime Cost!

I will also rent my store room, Wrk Is in a Mnb)« kmtlwi mt to tb« Oyorm Moose. And (Mr tor sale vary deslrsbl* Ixt south 8txQ^ ftreet, for I residence.

DM.SI,IM. A, V1PPEIT.

rpEKRE-KAUTE

Commercial College BOOKKEEPING,-

PENMANSHIP A ARITHMETIC,

CORNKH 5th A MAIN KTKBKTS,

Terre-llsute, Ind.,

It. OARVIN, Principal.

THH TERRE-HAUTE

COMMERCIAL COLLEGE

Olves Instruction in all the branches pertaining to a

Thorough Rtunneirs Educationi

A Scholarship in the Terre-Haute Commercial College Is Rood for life, giving the student the privilege of reviewing at nleasuro free of charge. .. *i®Inemler this

the oldent and moxt re

liable InNtltution of the kind in Indiana.

The Fall Term of the Terre-Haute

COMMERCIAL COLLEGE

CVwitn^ncM on the l*f Monday in SrjUembtr.

KUPPENHEIMER

TERRE-HAUTE, INDIANA.

6-tf

JAMES

B. LYNE,

HJUS on hand and for sale a full line of

pure KENTUCKY

COPPER- DISTILLED I

WHISKY,

Foreign and Domestic Brandies,

Gins, WIIIM, Ac-,

No. 299 Main Street,

Immediately opp. Terre-Haute House, ee-tf

EMOVAL.

JAMES B. LYNE,

Dealer in Pure Kentucky Whiskies and Foreign and Domestic Liquors has removed to his

New Building, 220 Main Street,

Immediately opposite Terre-Hamte House, ee-tf

Q.ENUINE BLOCK COAL.

J. R. WHITAKER Wt prepared to furnlah to coal eonaumernof Terre-Haute. during the Fall and Winter, the verv bent Hhaft Block Coal In the market In quanUUes to null purchaaem. Call and examine th*quality of hla coal, op *lte the Market House, corner 4th and Walnut street*, before purchasing elaewhere

EW BAKERY,

COR. FIRST OHIO STREETS. PA vis. having had an experience of 10 yeari, with W. H. Sage l» prewired to do all klndnof work In thin line on aWt notice. Particular attention given toHeddlngCakea.

Fresh BremtL, Cake*, Pies, dr.,

18-3m. Con*UntIv on hand.

PROFESSIONAL.

DR. HARLAND,

217 MAIN HTRRBT,

Between Sixth ft Seventh fltreeia. Orer J^ibtng'i Shme mrnrt. Con«iH»t1on free from o'cjoci A. M., lo •o'clock P. M.

THEwho

BBHTT FRINTKB »N U»«

s-tf.

PRAIRIE

BRO.

CLOTHIERS,

It'

"VS.

AND DEALKMS IX

Gents' Furnishing Goods,

"5 Si 9

p- m*"

No. 8o

MAIN ST.

W€FL*L^E

Tetre-Haate PrtnUng Haan,

CITY

piIE NATIONAL LIFE

Main

•trwt, devot«« hU entire time «nd attention to the better dmm at work. O. J. Smith A Oo.

Insurance Company,

WARREN, HOBERG & CO.,

:u-rtTi

HAVE REMOVED!

TO THEIR STEW WORK,

CHEAP DRY GOODS.

An Inspection of NEW GOODS and Priccs is Solicited.

PLANiNG MILLS.

arren, Hoberg Co.

OPERA HOUSE CORNER.

CLIFT & WILLIAMS, IC

JIanufacturevs pf,

Sashf'Doors, Blinds,

WINDOW & DOOR FRAMES,

Wholesale and Hetail d«*nlera in

Pine Lumber, Lath & Shingles,

Slate Roofing,

***1 9m

1 'j. '.

OK TILK S -S

United States of America.

Chartered by Congress July'Joth, 1868.

C'AHH CAPITAL ALL PA IP TX

Cnpitnl larger than that of any oihcr in the United Htati-s. Flnnneea managed hy Jay Cxke, E. A.

Rollins, and other leading flnanelerK. Rnle*» of nremlum» 25 to 80 per eent. below Mutual Companies. Plan free from complications of nolo and dividends. ContrnetN fleflnite and impossible to be misundorstood or mlsn-prfsent^l. Pollelea liberal and specify everything. Money received in each ntate Invested In the same. NoeeenM bevond that of any Company ever organized, over 12,(100 policies having been Issued in the twenty-seven months *of Its existence.

J. A.KOOTK,

Agent for Western Indiana.

OKKICE—NO. 8? Main street, Terre-Haute, J. B. ARMSTRONG, M. !., 2i-3m. Medical Examiner.

HUSHER'SHi

mm a®

'f#

Photograph Gallery,

BEACH* BLOCK,

COR. MAIN A SIXTH STREKVS.

Long experience and clo«eattenti«n to the boslnewi enablen me to furnish all kinds ot Picture* In the highest style of art. Particular attention given to the new style* of Photographs. including the popular Ileratorant and Hhftdow pictures.

Price® low. Hatisfnctlon guarantee*!. 7-tl. J7W. HUHIIKR.

J" COOK A SON,

Wholesale and Retail deatan In HARDWARE AND CUTLERY, Heavy Goods, Bar Iron, Nails, Ac, Al« rt»« celebrated Horney's Richmond Plow,

IS2 and 154 Mai* Ntre*,

ia-lT TKBRK-HAUTB, INT.

1LARK HOUSE,

yj cur. Fir* and CihU Stre«U, THF. TERRE-HAUTE fMNIBI*n AK1 HACK LINE will attend to calls for (rain* leaving both the Eastern and Northern Depot* alao convry pMsengeni to aay part oJ the city. All oraam left at the Terre-tlaoU Hooae, Postofflee. National House, Ituntin Hoone, or at the Clark Hooae will fx* pmrnnily attended to. Wi.

EW FLOORED STOCK *Y A DS

SALE AMD FEED YAKDM, Bet. First and Water Streets, and between Railroads, •7 J. I*. IInuulM, TUtm TEIIRE-HAT7TI!, INT.

$ I r-. i.

-i 1

's jr'

•:.= 4

Corner Room, Opera House Block,

And Opened with Elripini Mtork or

AS. SKATH. J. N. HAGKK. jyiGO

FOUNDRY ./

I TERRE-HAUTE f"

MOULDING BRACKETS 1 ••.•••Machinery and Castings.

STAIIt ItAILINC, 11AL1.USTKKS,

Newell Posts, Flooring, Siding,

S'f !t. ill* And all descriptions of

FINISHING LUMBER.

ANI) ROOFIXH FELT.

CuHtom Sawing, Planing nnd Wowl Turning done to order. All work warranted.

Cor. Ninth A Mulberry Sir cats. &

9-tf.

A R.

ms SKATH A II AGEIl, PiiOPn's.,

"h.-

Manufacturer of

Cars and Car Wheels

Of all kinds.

Highest price paid for Cast St-mp lion.

**f-»Rej)ftiring promptly attended to.

\v()UICS ON CANAL,

Hetwet-n Main and Ohio Sis.

ORDERS SOLICITED

»-t

1-tf. HKATH *HA(JKR.

Q.ULICK FE

BERRY,

Sueoes^ors to a

JIA RR, a ULICK A BERR Y,

J5KNKRAI. nKAI.ERH FN

DRUGS,

I 1

Chemicals, Paints,

vi -A.. tr 1

(«la.«^, Oib, Vanishes, Brusliet),

^1?

J'ISIt I'M Eli A. TOIL k'T A TJ F.H,

DYES, FINE LIQUORS,

PATENT MEDICINES,

flpicex, Twine*, Sponge*, Ac.

j. ., Cor. th and Main Mtreeta,

TKKHE-H AUTE, IN».

They have tho largest and most complete stock of everything ]crtaiiilng to the gcne»al Drug Huslneas, kept in the «lty of Tcrve1 Haute, mid respectfully aoliclt a sbare of the public patronage. 1-tl.

ATIONAL HOUSE,

COK. MAIN AND SIXTH 9TS..

Terre IHlaute, Indiana.!

5-«m. JA COn UTZ A BON, Prop?*-

DAMEL

BROWN,

(M'ccassoa TO mow* MHVW,) Wholeaale and ReMI Beoler in ,••„

Queenswarc, China, Fruit Jar.^ GIim, Oaxtor*, Tablm thuttery, «tt, No. 7 MAIN Srurr, 6-tf. TERRE-HAUTK, IND.

OSEMAN & BORS8UM,

MERCHANT TAIL0B8,

217 Main Street, nemr Mzv*n*h, TERRE-HAUTR, m®.

Cutting and Repairing dime en thcrt ttoUor

ft-tr. __,

•rpERRE-HAUTE HOU6E

mmK,*Terre-jr**'tf.

T. C. lUSTIN, FMdltxTOM.

I The Htrect f'ar» pass thin Home evuiy UlautM, ftotn tlie Drpot and River.* 77t Arteifqn lUrtha are tnmmed with 4hi* HtM.

DEALEItH

WILL DO WELL to call upon

B. i. Cms 4CO.,BookseUerawd Stationer*, before puretta^Ing elaewhev«# l-U.