Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 1, Number 31, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 28 January 1871 — Page 5

MEI.KCTIOSS FHO.V THE "DRAWER" IS HARPERS* MAGAZINE FOR FEBRUARY.

A little hilarity was enioyed a few duytt ujjo «t the Supremo Court, where Judge iJra'dy WHH holding chamber*.

A prominent meiniter of tho bar, having occmmioii to make a motion, jiaTcl:

Your Honor, I have a motion to make iu a ca»o where I have a little respoii8ibility*at Htalce."

PnKffd," responded tho Judge. I'crliupa 1 should have said, that I make the motion for the purpose of relicvimj myself from a little responsibility•

Hut," promptly replied the Judge,

•'whv eonie here Tor that purpose when with the fact that town point was quieKiy laKeii, and for a moment Court, counsel, bar, and audience "wrentlied themselves in smiles,'" as it were.

you InuMt be familiar there is n. funding hospital up The point was quickly take

at Waah-

A* oflicer In the Treasury ington thuH communicates: At the commencement of our recent "little dispute" I was residing in Washington, and witnessed, with others, the hasty return of inost of our army from the lirst Kittle of Hull Run.

All was excitement, and, for a few hours, complete demoralization. Every man had awfpl tale to tell, and he toid it. Among others was this, given bv a colored teamster belonging to a Virginia regiment, to a large crowd in Willard's Hotel:

De fust ting we know'd we see de sogers comin'. and I should tink dar war million? on millions—de cap'n ob do regiment sing'd out 'drap down dar! drap down dar! bat Lor'! 'twa'n't no use: de bung-shells come and tookjdar heads clear off! Dis chile sink him dead for suah, and in do confusement Mrtssa Gibbon's mules got loose wid si* niggers on 'em, and run smack and smoove iuto Manna Linkum's lines and raptured ourselves."'

Un wourii men will occasionally find their way Into tho ministry of every denominution. As a rule, however, thoir misdeeds aro generally discovered. The following iustauce of impertinent clerical officiousness, promptly rcbukod, come* to us from a Kansas correspondent

Olii Dr. is a Kentuckian, fond of a cigar and a little game of cards. In his employ was a young man who, though professedly a Methodist, had so far backslidden as to play a little sometimes. The two were sitting in the house one rainy day having a game of euchre. Tho Kev. Mr. the resident Methodist minister, dropped in, and alter glancing at tho doctors hand passed around behind the 3'oung man, took a sc it, and quietly watched the game. The voting man was about to play a certa'in ird, when the minister whispered to lii 111:

Don't play that if you do you you'll be euchred, sure." Whereupon tins doctor, waxing irate, said "See here, Mr. I ain't playing I his game against the whole Methodist Conference. If the Conference wants to put up a V, I'll play them a rub."

This reverend brother was soon discovered to be a "mistake," and was deposed frui 11 the ministry.

WIIKN one writes invitations to dinone should be careful of one's phraseology. Wo hoar of an instance a giver of 11 k-o dijiners ap where a giver of nice dinners appended *0 his invitation acript: "OonKTut soTon, rotSrcloVen."

#rr

Hut one of the invited desiring to have what is sometimes described as a*'b©ndor," and noticing rather a wide space between the "go," and the "at," care£illv inserted between them the littlo nWiosvllahle i7. Coming in high spirits our'young friend oxpressed thanks to the host for the iolly sort of invitation lie had received. On tho host's attention bcingdlreeted to it he perceived, to his astonishment, that it read, "Come at seven, go it at eleven It is understood that at the hour named they went it.

Sdmk years ago there was Stationed in Canaan, New Hampshire, a somewhat eccentric Methodist preacher, known as "Happy John"—a zealous, devout man, who had one little failing when preaching he took no note of time, and would frequently break off the thread of his discourse io allude to any thing that at the moment might partfcnlarly attract his attention. On one occasion, when walking up and down tho aisles between the services, exhorting, ho noticed one of the leading members of the congregation quietly seated in a pew cleaning his nails with a pen-knife. The sight was annoying to "Happy John," who frequently cast his eyes toward the brother. At last, unable to endure it longer, he called out from across the house: "Brother Johnson. for goodness sake put up that knife, and attend to these souls

A iiKJtTKKMAN in Alabama writes tho Drawer that recently, in his town, a vouMg man was being examined by tho trustees of the townsnip for tne position of school-teacher. One of these officials asked tho question "Mr. 13 do vou teach that tho world is round, or t\at?" "Why. Sir," replied the aspirant, "sotuo people believe one thing, and some another and I'll teach round or flat, just as the parents please."

In the same town, not long ago, some iioys, not so small cither, were reading t.hc"Addres to the Wild-Ooose," where occur these lines: lie who. from *one to none, through tho Itouniilca* sky thy tain flight, In th« long way that mutt trend atone \Vlll lead my Meps aright.

One of the 1kvs whs asked "Who is mean 1 by 'He who guides from gone to sone?' "I don't know, Sir," was tho reply, "unlww it means the old gander."

DoctubJokn Hi hnham, formerly a resident of the eastern part of Maine, WM a man of high standing, and held several oftlcos of trtist under the National and State administrations, liesides attending to the duties of his prt(taaion as a practicing physlHan, he sometimes "Improved his girt" preacher. Originally a Baptist, he afterward embraced the doctrine of universal salvation. In relating the story of kin conversion, on a certain occasion, he said ho resisted the assent of his heart to the truth of the doctrines of Universalism for a long time after he saw light, because he waa "unwilling to irive up the Idea that there ougM to be a Bell for the Ntlckneys down InOrlsmt."

Thk Right Rot. Dr. Clarkaon, Rpisco* inal Missionary Bishop of the Northsi weal, writee to his friend the Rer. Dr.

Twin*, "from the beaatiftol land," vrhich means "DtfJWrt," that during hia visitation to that Territory he found -blmaelf an no a need in one locality as ®m»e VenerxMm Bishop Clark son" which was pleaaant for »o young a

Bishop C.y. and that In another

he vu greeted with the following no-

tiee: "Elder Clark son, of tho Eplsoo-

Eouse

al Society, will proach In the sohoolthis evening, and adminlstor tho Apostate Right of t)nn formation."

Wk have from Georgia correspondent, the following, of a" gentleman of Irish descent, a membor of the Legislature, who, being suriouMly ill, sent for a lawyer to draw his will. After devising his estate, ho said: "I want it distinctly understood that I oxcent from the will my favorito mule,.'Jable,' and 'the old forked-tree field.'

The lawyer, as he wus about to •de part, asked, "But what are vou going to do with 'Jack' and 'tho old forkedtree field

The moribund legislator slowly re plied, "I kind o' thought I'd just keep them for myself."

Dunixo the last term of the United States District Court held at Jefferson City, Missouri, thcro was pending an indictment against one Wilkins for forgery. There were four counts in the indictment, to the last of which the defendant's counsel filed a demurrer. The United States district-attorney ad mitted the defect, and, when the de murrer was called, remarked to the Court that ho desired to ignore that count, and the clerk was directed to make the entry. Next morning tho record was read in this way:

The United States') "'y against eVfaj J. WII,KIXS. Now this ilay comes tne district-attorney, And enters an ignoramus to the fourth count, etc.

That is the Missouri form.

Probably we shall keep on having stories told about our late unpleasantness until the funny men who fought in it have gone tho way of all soldiers. One of the latest that comes to the Drawer Is of old Uncle Bob Watson, who resided during the war in Kentucky. Guerrillas ot both armies kept it so warm around his neighborhood that it was dangerous to belong to eith er side. Watson had tried to be on both sides, and consequently had suffered from both. All guerrillas dressed pretty much alike, and ho was therefore dreadfully bothered how to act. At last he was overtaken by a party whom he couldn't make out, wheu the following dialoguo took ulace: "Sir, are you a Union man?"

No, Sir," responded Uncle Bob. Aro you a rebel, then?" No, Sir, I'm not a rebel either." Then what are you Well, Sir," hesitated Uncle Hob, "to tell you the truth, I'm—nothing and but deuced little of that."

are indebted to one of tho leading commercial houses of Georgia for the following copy of an order received from a well-to-do planter in Florida, who seems to know well enough what I10 wants, but whose style is somewhat mixed and irregular: To Mrxsrt. .* .. l'lease send tne II). macomm!: hbl. lirown sugar, .' hhl. Irish potators, 'J boxes Klv's pink-edge gun-wads No. 114 1 hag No. (i shot, 5 galls Robertson Co. whiskey 1 like the (list sent), and 10 galls cheap whiskey tor the negroes. .Send me also 2 woolen un-der-shirts lor a lady quite thick, 1 hoop-skirt for a l«dy of some era bom point, ana 1 for a girl of i.

I\ S. Send wo sack* salt, a copy of Lewis's Sermons, and the New Testament and I'sal ins hound together, a neat copy of this with large print, ami be particular about the Robertson Co. whiskey.

Tho articles enumerated in the last taragraph remind 0110 of two of Lord oil's

lines:

ere's^nibflgTit so much the spirit cheeni As'rum ana true religion.^,' f) Litti,k Harry, a four-yoar-old, was standing 011 the front steps, when an Italian organ-grinder, with a monkey, stopped and began to play. Harry's mother gave him a penny, which ho threw on'the walk. The monkey pickedit up and put it into his master's hat. Harry clapped his hands with delight, and said, "Ma, ma, don't you think! the monkey picked up the penny an' gave it to

his jader

few days aftor, whilo looking out of tho back window, ho saw a little playmate in the adjoining yard, when lie exclaimed,

"Oh, Ifelon bay, your white

neck does charm me

Don't you think

the mother will have to look pretty sharp after that lad when he gots a few yoars older?

the way of juvenile com'positioYi we have had nothing of lato more amusing than the inclosed, from a mature youngster of sAvon to his sister in Washington. It comes to us with high official indorsement:

Jfovrtnher 7, 1S70.

Dear Sistkb,—I have learned to shoot and I went gunning last Saturday, and killed a rohen and shot at a rabbit. The other day I wont a gunning and killed a plover. The goose is better anil It can drink without thmwlng his hed back. 1 have to write composition every Friday. Alarv said that she was making a shirt for herself.

Mary tried on her shirt and it was to wide, It was wld enough for old Ben the ox From Habbt W.

Tins from'St. Albans, Vermont: When Jefferson was Vico-Presidont the Vermont liegislature had a Scotchman for chaplain. He used every day to pray for the President, but not for Jetterwn. Somo member said to him one day that if ho did not mention the Vice President it would be attributed to politics.

Indeed," said he, "I did not know there was such a man." The member explained to him, and the next morning he prayed that the I/ord would bless tho President, and continued, "and the Vice-President too, O Iiord, hitherto to us unknown."

^THOLES A LB NOTIONS.

A. C. AV WITTIG,

JOBBER AND-*-

Commission Merchant IN NOTIONS, FANCVGOOIKk

Huslish, Gsraiaa, ami ti

American Cutlery,

Perfumery, Soap. Cotton Yarm,

f5,Ohai«,

Batting, Ac.

New stock aa4 prtM it*. Onion 1 ly atteudml to. srPERIOR INDrrBMKXTH ta«k crm INxidlar*. Huckster* and Anwl—wm 148

Mtin St. bet.

JOHNck

l* ««nn Dmh KmU Mil*, TEtKIHAUTft. RepairingpmmpUy attwxird. I alsoMte a pair af SRW f£X TfRM hr wdghlni Cora, Hay. te, aad ptinw feMtn^ such weighing to do am loritad k«IL

ILL HFLADft. —^oeaKhlaa new aad rarU ve. alTVcro-Haots Prtatlag 43 Mala slrc«C O. J. Malik A Ot.

MUBIG

MW-

Together with all kinds of smaller

'(As

Musical Instruments,

-kt -t

8§i85

-f SHEET MUSIC,

*4 1,

INSTRUCTION BOOKS, &c., iint „»j wtffi

'4,

TERRE-HAUTE SATURDAY EVENING MAIL. JANUARY 28. 1671.

I A N O S

g-v -ri-' -r

Organs, Melodeqns,

Q.ROCEWE8.

which will b« Mold

III

Cau be fouud at

•i?

KUSSNER'S

PALACE OF MUSICi

49 OHIO STREET.

South Hide PuOtio Uqumre,

TERRE-HAUTE, INS.

O. BARTLKTT. GKO. C. DUT. IMS gARTLETT & CO.,

I 4' 1

BOOKSELLERS,

NOTION

NO. I59 MAIN ST.,

TERRE-HAUTE, INDIANA.

Our stock Is ail new and purchased at the loweM tgvra. i.f i._ •.

We keep constantly on hand a full lla« af

SCHOOL MISCELLANEOUS, BLANK AN ,-i

LETTER,

5th & 6th,

In th* roo« fonasrty ocsipM fey Son.

O01 U-tl

ARMSTRONG,

it*

i1ti

iiili siilp

Fancy Goods Dealers,

Slii

101

Main Street,

DIRECTLY OPPOSITE 4 ,tf »'f !r»-v.1

THE SEW OPERA HOUSED,

1-tf

TERRE-HAUTE, IND

BG.

COX & CO.

BOOKSELLERS

AND STATIONERS,

.* PASS BOOKS, AUD

LB8AL CAP, AHD

v. We am

NOT! PAPBIW.

MIMCMLLA NXO US BOOK*,

««.pnpHMaiy tate/Ugta'

MAiwmamr,

V»to Ha

»tock of Grocer lea

LOWH8T RETAIL PRICK,

J. U. PATRICK & CO.

YANKEE NOTIONS.

deneral Awortmeht of Tan

kee Notion*, which will b« nold at -V ft i'i RETAIL AT JOBI1INQ PRICES,

Jr:- Uere'it your chance, .•

J. U. PATRICK & CO.

PRODUCE.

The highest Market Price in Cash for all kinds of

COUNTRY PRODUCE,

J. U. PATRICK & CO.,

NO. 81 MAIN STREET,

18-tf.

is*

.i-rt

*4* **l

TEKUE-HAUTE, IND.

NION STEAM BAKERY.

FRANK HEINIG & BRO.

Manufacturers of all kinds of^

Crackers, Cakes, Bread

A N

DEALERS IN

Foreign & Domestic Fruits,

FANCY & (STAPLE GROCERIES, LAFAYKTTK STKEKT,

(Met ween the two Railroadn,)

21-tf. -i— .!.' Tcrre-Haute, Ind.

"pOSEMAN & BORSSIJM,,

Merchant Tailors,

217

Main St., near Seventh,

TERRE-IIAUTE, IND.

O O S

recelveiNtonstantly.

An elegant stock of

GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS v.- -r Constantly on hand.

CUTTING AND REPAIRING dune on short notice, and satisfaction guaranteed. 13-3m

HAS. L. FELTUS, HOUSE, SIGN,

And

ORNAMENTAL PAINTER,

Cherry St. bet. 3d and 4tn, north side.

TERRE-HAUTE, INI).'

Siecial attention given to Sign Painting, Graining, Paper Hanging, Calsominning, Ac.

N. B.—All work warranted. 20-tf.

a. UMORECZ. s. •. STIMHeN. J^AMOREUX & STIMSON,

TERRE-HAVTE

Marble & Granite Works,

Monument^ aiid wb-Stones

In every rarloty, constantly ea hnn4 »n^ made to order.

SIXTH UT., ojrptMe 9»wlin0 Mull,

't By Tow 11 Stock ,X ,, ,5

1-tl. TERRE-IIAUTK. INDIANA.

JOSEPH

KASBERG,

Having established anew and COMPLETE BOOK BINDERY, Is prepared to do all kinds of Book Binding and Blank Book manufacturing.

Mapeuinet Bound tf* the BeM Stylet. Persona living at a diatanee can send their Booka by Bxpreaa.

JC«. KASBERG, Proprlelor, 150 Main Street, Up BUira,

38-tf Over B.G. Co* A Co's Book Store.

C.CRAWFORD, .. «i

Boots

and

BHAWLS,

BLAKKET8,

Sho*«,

'W 98 MA III STREET,

e-tf. TERBB-HAUT1

TTOTORCOLD

A S ATTli

Central Bathing

Rhbi,

And Barber Nwp on Horth aldaaf OUla, be twees 4th end 8tb rt»«t TKTILDY A POTHS,

Vf a.-.,. Carriage ManuCactureea,

Oar. Beeoad aad Walwt Streela, TMMMM-BAUTM, UTD. Regalrtac daae proapUr aad at lev w*m

AVD HMATTIB09 A1T»OTIK, WE l« •llili

GRAND:

P, 8.—Shirts made to order.

38-tf

•i«* I»'

fefS 'i.'

1»v

CLEARANCE SALE

OF WINTER

DRY GOODS!

At Tuell, Ripley & Deming's,

Wc are determined to close out every yard of \Vint#r

Goods, and will force salos at some price.

'it

CLOAKHFOS,

ORAIHr BAGS,

CALICO, NILHi,

DRESS OOOD8,

HEAVY SHEETINGS,

dc., Ac*.

~'Uu

TUBLL, RIPLEY & DEMING,

Corner Main and Fifth Steets,

waiBE-aAtfit 1XPLMU.

THE REMAINDER OF

My Stock Of Winter Clothing

iNIust be, closed out, and will be sold,regardless#

S A N 1 HAH REMOVED HW

"t*

of Cost, and 11 necessary

WILL BE GIVEN AWAY.

HEADQUARTERS FOR CLOTHING,

MAIN STREET,'

CLOTHING STORE,

T* the Corner of Main and Fourth Streets,

'. In the room formerly •ocupied Wj W»rren, I|olerg A Co.

X4e*'-h

'•1?

having ow hand a

LARGE STOCK OF WINTER GOODS!

j. I

(V/j

•*v

mtk

•tui

•n

Whatever Prices may bei

jFound Elsewhere

OURS WILL

,N,

BE I0WER!

.tn

•**&***

JO. 'ERLANGERj

r.inil

'•Iff .•-%t I

,~J$t

p. 1

—tt

ilpBOPOdk CLOflB TUB* OUT '•47/

WITHOUT REGARD TO COST.

TO MAKI BOO* FOR AN

-'I

RANK

•Mr «T(rrta(

Corner Main and Fourth:

i*1 v*

r-1

-St

«£. -,

•fH*

Hxr,