Saturday Evening Mail, Volume 1, Number 31, Terre Haute, Vigo County, 28 January 1871 — Page 4

tBi.hxmossfromthe••draw. KB" IN HARP KIT 8 MAGAZINE FOR FEBRUARY.

A little hilarity waa enioyed a few daya Hgu ut the Supremo Court, where Judge Hra'dy wiw holding chmnberft.

A jiroiuiuent member of tho lar, having occasion to make a motion, HAT(1:

Your Honor, I have a motion to make iu a oaso where I have a littlo reapoiii»ibnitv*at ntake."

PHutM-tH," reapondod the JudK'*. I'erhapH 1 ahould liavu said, that I make the motion for the purpose of rttici ing myuelf from a Utile responsibility-"

Hut," promptly replied the Judge, "why come here for that purpose when you muHt be familiar with tho fact that there is a funding hospital up town

The point wan quickly taken, and for a moment Court, counsel, bar, and audiencc"tvreftthed themnelves in.smiles," as it were.

An ofllcer In tho Treasury at Washington thuH communicates: At ths commencement of our recent "littlo dispute" I was residing in Washington, and witnessed, with others, the hasty return of most of our army from tho first battle of Hull Run.

All was excitement, and, for a few hours, complete demoralization. Every man had an awfpl tale to tell, and he told it. Among others was tbia, «iven bv a colored teamster belonging to a Virginia regiment, to a large crowd in Wizard's Hotel:

Be fust ting we know'd we see de sogers comin', and I should tink dar war million^ on millions—de cap'n ob do regiment sing'd out 'drap down dar! drap down dar! but Lor'! 'twa'n't no use: de bung-shells como and took'dar heads clear off! Dls chile sink him doad for sunh, and in de confusement Mtwwa Gibbon's inules got loose wid si* nigKertt

orl ,?m

and run smack and

ttinoovo iuto Manna Linkuiu'tt lines and captured ourselves/"

UNWouritY men will occasionally find their way into the ministry of every deuomiuwtion. As a rule, howover, their misdeeds are generally discovered. The following instance of impertinent clerical officiousness, promptly rebukod, comes to us from a Kansas correspondent: (j|(j

£r-

(h a Kentuckian, fond of

cigar and a littlo game of cards. In his employ was a young man who, though professedly a Methodist, had so far backslidden as to play a littlo sometimes. Tho two were sitting in the house one rainy day having a game of euc.hro. Tho Rev. Mr. the resident Methodist minister, dropped in, and after glancing at the doctors hand passed a round behind the young man, took a MPat, and quietly watched tho game. Tho voung man was about to play a vrtuin card, when the minister whispered to him:

Don't play that if you do you you'll be euchred, sure." Whereupon tho doctor, waxing irate, said "See here, Mr. I ain't playing this game against tho whole Methodist Con fere tco." If the Conference wants to put up a V, I'll play them a rub."

Tins reverend brother was soon discovered to be a "mistake," and was deposed from the ministry.

WIIHN one writes invitations to dinjMr OIIO should be careful of one .phraseology. Wo hear of an Instance where a giver of nlco dlnnersHppeiicied his i«vitiUi|Mtfd»ff^0,^^ script: "OonftTttt seven, prii eleven.'

But one of the invited desiring to have what is sometimes described as a 'bonder," and noticing rather a wide space betwe the "go," and the "at," care—fcillv inserted hot ween them the littlo 'uWiosvllable it. Coming in high spirits our young friend ox pressed thanks to the host for tho lolly sort of invitation lie had received. On tho host's attention beingdireeted to it ho perceived, his astonishment, that it read, "Come at seven, go it at eleven It is understood that at the hour minted they went it.

Somk years ago there was stationed in Canaan, New Hampshire, a somewhat eccentric Methodist preacher, known as "Mappv John"—ft zoalous, dovout man, who had one littlo falling: when prcaching ho took no note of time, and would frequently broak off the throad of his discourse to allude to any thing that atthemomont might partienlarly attract his attentiou. On ono occasion, when walking up and down tho aisles between the services, exhorting, he noticed one of the leading meml»ors of the congregation quietly seated in a pew cleaning his nails with a pen-knife. Tho sight was annoying to "Happy ••John," who frequently cast his ores toward tho brother. At last, unaolo to endure it longer, he called out from across the house: "Brother Johnson. for goodness takr nut up that knife, and attend to these touts

A ciKXTKKMAN in Alabama writes tho Drawer that recently, in his town, a voung man was being examined by tho trustees of the townsnlp for the position of school-teacher. One of these officials asked the question: "Mr. IS do vou touch that tho worhl is round, or flat?"

Why, Sir," replied the aspirant, "sotuo people believe one thing, and jsouie another and I'll teach round or tint, jmt ms the parents please."™*

IN tho same town, not long ago, some l*oys, not so smalt either, wore reading t-ho Addre.-s to the Wild-Ooose," where occur these lines: II« who, from eone to *on«\ Ouldw through tho Itnundle** sky thy cer-

Uln night.

In tho long wav that I mu«t tw«d «kne Will lead my arlKlit. One of the lxys wss asked: "Who is meant by 'He who guides from aone to sonc

don't know, Sir," was the reply, "rtnless it means the old gander."

DoctuuJOHX Buknham, formerly a resident of the eastern part of Maine, was a man of high standing, and held several oftlres oi trust under tho National and State administrations, Besides attending to the duties of his profrtaion as a practicing physician, he hometimen "improved his gift" as a preacher. Originally a Baptist, he afterward embraced the doctrine of univ«waai salvation. In relating the story of his conversion, ons certain occasion, he said he resisted the assent of his heart to the truth of the doctrines of Universal ism for a long time after he saw light, because he wss "unwilling tb jgive up the ides that there ought to be a •hell for the Htlekneys down In Orland."

THR Right Kev. I)r. Clarfcson, Kpiscoi|pal Missionary Bishop of the Northwest, writes to his Mend the Rev. Dr. riTwing, "from the beautital land." which moans "DoJtota." that during his ilate visitation to that Territory he fbund ':himself snnoanoed in one locality as "The r«MroN« Bishop Clarkson" ^whieh was pleasant for so yoang a man as Bishop C.), and that in another he was greeted with the following no*

*trnr

tiee: "Elder Clarkson, of the Episco-

Eouse

al Scielety, will proaoh In the aohoolthis evening, and administer the Apostate Right of (ynf0rmotion."

WK havo from a fJoorgla correspondent, the following, of a" gentleman of Irish descent, a member of the Ijegislature, who, btdng seriously ill, sent for a lawver to draw his will. After devising liis estate, ho said: "I want It distinctly understood that I except fronj the will my favorite ninlo, .'JSOK,' and 'the old forked-tree Hold.'

The lawyer, as ho wus about to •depart, asked. "Hut what are you going to do with 'Jack' and 'tho yld forkedtree tlold

Tho moribund legislator slowly ro plied, "I kind o' thought I'd just keep them for myself."

1)1"hixo tho last term of tho United States District Court hold at Jefferson City, Missouri, thoro was pending nn indictment against one Wilk ins for forgery. There were four counts in the indictment, to the last of which the defendant's counsel filed a domurrer. The United States district-attorney admitted the defect, and, when the detnurror was called, remarkod to tho Court that ho desired to ignore that count, and the clerk was directed to muko the entry. Next morning tho record was road in this way

THE UNITED STATICS") -f aaaitut i* Yfr J. WILKINS. Now thin day comes tlift district-attorney, snd enters au igmoramut to the fourth cuuiil, etc.

That is tho Missouri form. _____ -s-j)!? PnoBAHi.Y wo shall keep on having stories told about our lato unpleasantness until the funny men who fought in it have gone tho way of all soldiers. One of the latest that comes to the Drawer Is of old Uncle Hob Watson, who resided during the war in Kentucky. Guerrillas of both armies kopt it so warm around his neighborhood that it was dangerous to belong to either side. Watson had tried to boon both sides, and consequently had sutlored from both. All guerrillas dressed pretty much alike, and ho was therefore dreadfully bothered how to act. At last he was overtaken by a party whom he couldn't make out, when the following dialoguo took ulace: "Sir, are vou a Union man?"

No, Sir,T' responded Undo Bob. Are you a rebel, then?" No, Sir, I'm not a rebel either." "Then what are you?" "Well, Sir," hesitated Uncle Hob, "to tell you the truth, I'm—nothing and but deuced littlo of that."

WK are indebted to one of the leading commercial houses of Georgia, for the following copy of an order received Irom a well-to-do planter in Florida, who seems to know well enough what l^e wants, but whoso style is aomowrhat mixed and irregular: To Mt-xtrt. l'lense send ino U. maccaronl bbl. brown sugar, J-j bbl. Irish potalors, '2 boxes Klv's plnk-etlgu Klin-wails Is'o. 11 1 bag No. 0 shot, 5 galls Robertson Co. whiskey (like the Hist sent), and 10 Ralls cheap whiskey for the monies. Heiul ine also 2 woolen un-tler-sbirts lor a lady quite thick, 1 hoop-skirt for a l'Hly of some em bom point, and 1 for a girl of la.

Tf\ S. Send two siielc- salt, a copy of Lewis Sermons, and the New Testament and J'salins bouud together, a neat copy of this with large print, and be particular about the Robertson Co. whiskey.

Tho articles enumerated in the last aragraphf remind one of two of Lord .Jyrou'a lines:

TliWu^ongl/( So much the spirit cheers As rum i\jia true religion.

LITTLK I-IARRY, N four-yoar-old, was standing on tho front steps, when an Italian organ-grinder, with a monkey, stopped and began to play. Harry's mother gave him a penny, which ho threw on the walk. The monkey pickedit up and put it into his master's hat. llarry clapped his hands with delight, and said, "Mu, ma, don't you think! the nioukey picked up tho penny an' gavo it to his fader

A few days after, while looking out of tho back window, lie B.IW a littlo playmate in tho adjoining yard, wh&p lie exclaimed, "Oh, Helen Day, your white neck dors charm met" Don't you think tho mother will have to look pretty sharp after that lad when ho gets a few

IN tho way of juvenile composition wo have had nothing of late more amusing than tho incloMd, from a mature youngstor of sGvon to his sister in Washington. It comes to us with high otUcial indorsement:

Mary tried on her shirt and It was to wide, It was wld enough for old Ben the ox FROM HAHRT W.

THIS from St. Albans, Vermont: When Jefferson was Vice-Presidont the Vermont Legislature bad a Scotchman for chaplain. He used every day to pray for the President, but not for Jefferson. Some member said to him one day that if ho did not mention the Vice President it would be attributed to politics.

Indeod," said he, "I did not know there was such a man." The member explained to him, and the next morning he prayed that the IiOrd would blesa tho President, and continued, "and tho Vice-President too, O Iiord, hitherto to us unknown."

HOLES A LB NOTIONS.

C*A.

•y .-

WITTICW

JOBBER AND

Commission Merchant IN MOTIONS, FAXCVG00D&

iMtf* 1 Hn«lish, Gsrltaa, and

American Cutlery,

Perfumary, Soap. Cotton Yar*, Chain, Bitting, Ac.

New stock sa4 prls»s It. Or it— It attended to. SUPERIOR rNDUCBUKrrTS ta er*, P«ddlat», Hockaton and! A

Main St. bet.

148

SIC, MUSIC*

In th« room formerly oetapM to Ou A Son. U-tf. OHN ARMSTRONtt,

LSCK A*» «1 •«-, Dsn KmA Man, TKIKI HAUTI. Repatrtngpromptly attwdel. I ataofe»vs a pafT^ Jffir MJf *CAr*mmr wetctilac On, H», aad pmmm» ksttt^ such weighing to da art IndM

ILL HftADBv —WoaueihlM new and tractive, atTerreHsoMPrfntt«gH«i 3 Mala Kmc O. J. aaitfe A OB.

Organs, Meiodoong,

Together with *11 klnda of smaller r,

Musical !Instrum«nts,

BOOKSELLERS,

Movember 7, 1X70.

DKAR SISTKU,—I havo learned to shoot and

1 Wl'Hl |UIUIIIIBIIMi UWT roten and shot at a rabbit. The other day 1 went a gunning and killed a plover. Th« goose Is better and It can drink without thntwlng his lied back. I have to write a composition every Friday. Marv said that she was making a slilrt for herself.

TK.RRK-H A UTK SATURDAY EVENING MAIL. JANUARY 28. 1871.

PIANOS,

Vsi ih

SHEET MUSIC,

INSTRUCTION BOOKS, *e.,

if A 5. iiW *t a I

Can be found at

vH 3 "•'s, •. «•/.

"I.-

'it.'-* 1 *n ,-r '»t|

KUSSN ER'S

,•

Ste*

ttt»m *, n*

r.i tr$ir

NOTIONS.,V*

'W *-r

fT4\l|u

-1

jViff* i'i

Fancy Goods Dealers, II

1 0 1

MAIN STREET.

DIRECTLY OPPOSITE

THE XEW OPERA HOUSEt

A-

TEKRE-UAUTE,

1-tf

Q.ROCEHIE8.

tJ-i fV

1 1

PALACE OF MUSIC

.-Cj'

-J J/k tl

48 OHIO KTRKET.

ujt v, i,r» c* i- WW :i 3f, it* .it. -.fif

IND

G. COX & CO.

a 4

BOOKSELLERS

AND STATIONERS,

NO. I59 MAIN ST.,

TERRB-HAUTE, INDIANA.

Our stock In all new and jmrchased at the loweM flgara.

We keep constantly on hand a full Una af

SCHOOL, MISCELLANEOUS, BLANK ANt

LETTER,

5th & 6th*

Was

r-.

r*?f{*sd.

a lane stock of Qrbterlea

rhleh will be aold at the

LOWEST RETALL PRTCK,

J. U. PATRICK & co.

t114

U* ii

,# 4,"

YANKEE NOTIONS.

-•J-' inp

A large and General Assortment of Yankee Notion*, which will be aold at

RETAIL AT JOBBING PRICES,

'T llern'n your chanee,

J. u. PATRICK & CO.

... PRODUCE,

*1.

The highest Market Price in Cash for all kinds of *t»f r?, if

COUNTRYVPRODUCE, "4i) h* J. u. PATRICK & CO.,

^0. 8i MA!N STREET,

18-tf. TERRE-HAI'JTEJND.

NION STEAM BAKERY.

FRANK HEINIG & BRO.

Munufucturers of all kinds of

Crackers, Cakes, Bread

-i*'

0 Svidh Side PuOiioXqumre,

,.Jir

jj rl f- 51 __ -c fij^" f, r-- ii. ."f*'1 j» tl. J,V

TEHRE-HAUTB. INB.

O. BAUTI.HTT. GEO. C. DDT.

ARTLETT&CO.,

1 A.q,

AND

A N

a. r.

DEALERS IN

Foreign & Domestic Fruits,

FANCY & STAPLE GROCERIES, LAFATKTTK STKEKT,

(lictween the two Rtiilroadi*,)

21-tf. Terre-Haute, Ind.

J^OSEMAN & BOBSSUM,

Merchant Tailors,

2 1 7 a in S a S

TERBE-HAUTE, IND. '.

W O O S

CUTTING AND REPAIRING done on short notice, and satisfaction guarauteod. 13-3m

HAS. L. FELTUS,

HOUSE, SIGN,

AND

'Hi .4 .ft *t

ORNAMENTAL PAINTER,

Cherry 8t. bet. 3d and 4tn, north side.

TERRE-HAUTE, IND.

Special attention given to 8ign I*ainttng, Graining, Paper Hanging, Calsomlnning, Ac.

iV. B.—All work warranted. 20-tf.

». LAMOREUX. S. S. STIMHSN.

LAMOBEUX

PASS BOOK*,

JkXD

LKAL CAP, AHD

SOTi PAPBtH.

MUCBLLAXBO U9 BOOM*

sa^yiipstBiuij Is la/tag ta* stMfc.

MAixmmmr.

IT.'

Vaisr Ha

J^^TASBEIIG, Proprietor,

,, 15# Main Street, Cj •talis, 38-tf Over B. G. Cox A CO'bBook Store.

C. CBAWFOBD, V^~~~ A I

BOOTS A N SHO 98

MAIH

BATHS, -ft"

ATTSl

Central Bathing R••**»,

And Bsrbsr 8h«p on Horth sldssf Ohl^bs twesa th snd Mh itwt

^TLDY A POTHS,

Carriage ManufiaclurefB, Cor. Sseoml sad WslMt Mnsls, TMKMM-HAUTM, IlfD. ByalrtM MI promptly snd st l*v mm

TmO,

BHAWJLS,

BLANKETS,

CLOAKDOS, *rv« 1 5

GRAIN BAGS,

"«V

An elegant stock of

GENTS' FURNISHING GOODS

^1$ Constantly on hand.

CALICO, SILKSi,

DRESS «OODS,

&e.. A«.

STIMSON,

TERRE-HA VTE

Marble & Granite Works,

Monui*cnts and TemlhStonefl

In every rarlety, coBt»«tly hnntf uJ made to ordsr.

SIXTH ST., ojyjmie

IBf Towu •sck,)

1-tf. TERRE-IIAUTK. INDIANA.

JOSEPH

KASBEBG,

Having established anew and COMPLETE BOOK BWDERY, Is prepared to do all kinds of Book Binding ana Blank Book manufacturing.

Magnainea Bound ii* the Best %lfPeraons liTing at a dlstanse can *»nd their

s»» W

i»} 1

J-

28-tf

'#.

r-*f *4 -.

sTRIET»'

«-tf. TKRM-HACm:

HOT

OB COLD

A N

CLEARANCE SALE

*e 1 sfk«n 5 1. --lit -l, 'rt 1 Hi 1 it

)HHiB8dgMF ___ Ul.W,PNlUp»ij*|t. «H.

°f WINTER. I

tlVfr

DRY GOODS!

trn

HEAVY SHEETINGS,

TUELL, RIPLEY & DEMINGr,

1- -Kii•** t®"1 «va» ic

T»K

THE REMAINDER OF

Ii Must be closed out, and will be sold regardlesw

ft' I- sT" '.jf 1

of Cost, and if necessary ./

WILL BE GIVEN AWAY.

E A A E S O O I N aj Ai t,{\i

JO.

1'- "j I!

MAIN STREET,

|-3,

IIRL'ANGER,

P. S.—Shirts made to order.

1 ficl. 1 fr •^T

S. PR A

r*t

J- tf I 1 fi 4 'j

HAS REMOVED HIM j.-. 1.

CLOTHING STORE,

•."••j-: *-'w '1^

Jt the Corner of Main anil Fourth Streets,,

In ths room formerly sV upled by Warren, Hoberg Co.

RAMK

rr .0 *1 $$*• A

•i' n: I if-

(J/(

Bipley & Denpg's,:

Wc are determined to close out every yard of W inUr

Goods, and will force sales at some price.

.»

"'ti 4}

«?t i$ »1 4 4

*5$"%

ies

-ii\

,~*-t I fjsiU* .A 4 1- -r

t*z

'.f tAr. ??,

t'r*

N- i- .-ps

Whatever Prices may be Fonn Elsewhere hf •m

OURS WILL

BE LOWER!

s. &

I 'fc*

i? 1 *s -x

"~i IS* I S9f -4

hti

nut

-5

Corner Main and Fifth Steets,

S«. }fK'H $

mniAaO.' ^4^

fi.'

cs n*

1 is 1 '!c ^, -jt

Qothing

r.J !fs,

',P'| I

If trt -tJ I": ..tvVxO -jif

t. t* -ii. 1 «iij- n. j? .rfj.

"jji 'i Jr ,f

*»i

REMOVAL!

U-

r- 1'--rt

T? Wt'

1 HAVING OW HAND A„ ,f ,.«T

LABGE ST0CK 0F WINTER 000DSI

I PROPOSE TO CLGBB THMI OUT

tit' r,

I •.

.4.:

,:'£

ipifcsfc's.* pistil

ff" *t xf -"f

WITHOUT REGARD TO COST,

TO If AKS BOOM FOR AN

I—lTr Btgk ofSprleg

Corner Main and Fourth*

rtj. 1

1* •i-f.Wf-

't,t A

fn (»,if _____

t' "i M-t*

^r* n.* i-iw

?J-