South Bend News-Times, Volume 38, Number 93, South Bend, St. Joseph County, 3 April 1921 — Page 32

32 srvn.w. TMuii ir2t THE SOUTH BEND NEWS-TIMES

The Octopus Marooned-

By 0. Henry

"A t !-;: .' ;t v,. - -t 5 ' J ff P ! r ' Tf.a','' f I I. "... !. i k rn" cf th1"" 1 ; t . I '.!!.:;" ' r m ri.n f-u' h 5. 'Win- i ? a .:. :. m?" " "It H i:"t." ai ! :f. "Th'T" .ir" ro rvl.'it i-:. li'.-A'-:! .t tra.t. and a Jm Ilr m 1 n . My r-:.i fk v. a - an !'- pram an a . - - .1 kind of rr. t'-m in r irv". w:. i it i..- . i. th it 11 tn:t i Uk- .hi . g". .-in I St is r.'.t like ars t g-. If " i v. ,-iTit t' br tk n f - g y"i ?.i".- ! it from W'.f t.::-.. Th- '.' v...;. r l r.ik up r tniyt i f ri.i.i t!.- l:" K ; sitting" '-n i until r h 1 1-:. '. t"'k at the hrod of ;.!.: g f . '. g s a r.'J liIrariM that's chirping ar;.! p-'-pirg ill nvfr t!." (;:. try. Y .-ir. v.-ry lr';.-t hars in J - v n 1 '"'in th" t ! - i f i ! .- ( - r ' " ; I i ;t r"vt' r hat 'I'-A-. ! i -Tis'! i cohn d M e t h ! ; -1 . ; i ; i r. ;;.'. or a r jubJl'an am: n?-. g 1 i: f a candidatefor g' - n. r of T'.-" I ;:--kr-.l J. j. stm gly. If ha-; f( r, duii'g h: f r. ;; d. j-b:dd, jnr ttl. !. j-; ! a:: 1 dinpb l rar er, t 1 1 : ( ! ' 1 1 . i : ; i : a i J r ; - f t ; . i ! i J -t whin lh- r l "ti 'J-t" K "1 !" -n fi j 1 ! . S .n h 'i t to rn.'' ;rpri -" h- :.').-. ( ! -!.," 1 the r-rnr. ';if . " I.. . "At: -I thf srntf forl r,f J.-r.-!' y r. v-r l it into a ch a r t r r t it I u . t s 1 ; 1 r a : i i V Ivi-I . rythinr in ir favor v.-infl, wat-r, '.li' . n rvt an-1 a

'., f - -. in M'i -o .n t f. ir. trip ! ..!!;::: v, !,: h a I'l.i.'a IpV.i i raj ital-ii-t ) .!! i' i.-l im for a half Ji:r"t in a m! v. r mir:'- !n l.'hihu.ij ! ? a. ()). y.-'j. thf i. '.!::- was all ! n . '. Th" o: h..-r l-a!f i-.t-r -t rnuft , h ivo ,r-f n worth $ j . ;. o or $-r'".-; '. ! ".' r. von!r 'l who o'.vn'J . that mine. "In '.:u;r:' ha-U rh T "r-.i :-! 'svit'H in" an-1 Aniy ,-,uhh"'l our I to. h acan.n a littl" town in T' a

;oM th- har.l: of th- Iii ("ita'vl. Tho ! nam" of it w.i't Ihr! 'ity; but it,

: v.aj-n't. ThA toun l-.a-l a,out 2. 00 : inhahltant". Tr..-tly in'-n. I f.urtd

! out th tt th ir i!ir.' i:il la ans of j "':-t :;( w.i In living ci'K" t tall r 'Mi7' irraI. .ono: ' f ' :a w r fVck- ' ' rr. n at.-' .:i"ij an;!-rs .'itnl j-'omo j Ii";:-" s ; i a !a t ! a nl m nty Mtr1 inj t::' sr.i'JL'-'lir lit. .M- anl Araly j

f an .arti''!o lnli-

pn.th:o to t h" I'ni. TI ri want A trt;-l h ;'t r n th- !oh- that cril l :n" jn.iir.-J a w;il; .; t in "ir Fch-n.o. it ii: in' !:( ;: !' liar's i;tt;-l--ros.n1' ,, . in i : jo n lo',c lil:o a lili'-k'-t lio;.. I'.ut V" l'i-t O-Jt."' ".-'otti' u:.f or -n .jo.cit'i'n cam' Up. I I Haiti. "Nn. ;r. it wis m T a! 1. V Hr-rf If-rurh" !. It va a ri"1 rf i uto-su jijt .-'i'-n. Th!" v.'a a rift Tithin th" l""t, ns All" rt Tnnjsn 5a r. "You Tf,!n'mh,r I tM you tlnat mo priil Ar.Iy Tii'kfr w.n partnrrt fT orn jaais. T.hat i;,an was th" most ta I'-ntrrl rormi'.or at 5t ratactfin.'i I vor f aw. "'h n r r h" saw a dollar In .Tiioth-r man's hanls h" t)k it a a pp.'T'iral r:;'h- . if ho rouhhi't tak" it any oth r way. Anly was Iaratf ih f". I j r , hain; a lot of useful information. If- hal C i U f r c j I a 1.;: atnonn of j- ri" tiro Oiit of hooks. : i o'll 1 talk for l:ours on ar.' xnt'j' ''t ('; n tf 4 with Mras atvl ili.-' inji II" had i"-'!i in ovrry lim- of erat from ! tunni: ii I'ah-tir:" witli a of rami'' lantoj-n iirturo;; of th" annual Cus-toni-ma)-'Iothi. is' as v:ation runVfntion at Atltnti" '"i:y t f!oolircr C.onriorthnit with hons woo, I alcohol dlytiil 1 from nutm :,'-. "tmo xjiriny mo and Andy had

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"Mio wholo toAai Is listening to your Hldo-klrkoT make a .peecJi." put :ip at a hotel that was built liko p'iiih thinpr between a roof pardon and a sectional bookcase. It be.an t rain the day wo rot thTe. As the sal7icr i", Juniper Aquarius was sure turning on the water idus on Mount Aniphiliious. "Now, there were three saloons in I'ird City, thotih neither Andy nor M" drank. But we Could see tho tovn.--i'ooid making a triangular I n o c s m 1 1 from oiio to anothor all day and half the r.itrht. Kvcrybody s" ni (1 to kr.nw what to do with as mueh money as they ial. "Tho third day of th- rain It slackened up awhile In tho afternoon, so ir.o a nl Andy walked out to the f d.L,-o of town to view the mudsrape. lUrd t'ity was built be-t-"en th Rio (Iramle and a deep

vri le arroyo that used to be the eld h-l of the rncT. Tho bank te-tvvfr-n tho stream and its old bed was cracking and riving away, when wo fiw It. on account of the h!sh water caused by tho rain. Andy looks at It a long tlm". That man's intellect." was never Idl". And then h unfold to me a Instantaneous iden that has occurred to him. IMnht there was organized a trust; anl wo walked back into town and put it on tho market. "first wc went to the main saloon in Ilird City, called the Ulu Snake, and boucrht it. It cost xin J 1 .20 And then wo dropped in, casual, at Mexkan Joe's plac". referred to the rain, and bought him out for 5300. The other one carno ea.y at $4 Co. "The next morning Ilird City voke up antl found itsolf an Island. The river had busted through its old Channel, and tho town was surrounded by roaring torrents. The rain was still rain in sr. and there was heavy clouds in the northwest that presaged about six moro rnean anneal rainfalls during the next two weeks. Bit the worst was yet to come. ' "Ihrd City hopped out of its nest, waprrletl its pin feathers and strolled out'for its matutinal toot. L.o! Mexican Joe's place was closed and likewise, the other little Mobo life-sav-inc station. .o. naturally tho body politic emits thirsty ejaculations of surprise and ports helium for the Hluo Sn-ke. Aral what does it find there? "Jiehind one end of the bar sits Jefferson Peters, octopus, with a sixshooter on each side of him, ready to make change or corpses as the case may be. There are three bart -riders; and on tho wall is a 10foot sign rending :AU Drinks One Dollar.' Arvly sits on the safe in hi neat blue suit and gold-banded cicrar, on the lookout for emergencies. The town marshal is there with two deputies to keep order, having Icon promised free drinks by the trust. "Well, sir, it took Bird City just 10 minutes to realize that it was in a cage.v We expected trouble; but there wan't any. The citizens s-:nv that we had 'cm. Tho nearest railroad was .'50 miles away; and it would be two weeks at least before the river would be fordable. So they began to cuss, amiable, and throw down dollars on the bar till it sounded like a selection on the xylophone. "TKere was about 1,30 grown-up adults in Bird City that had arrived at years of indiscretion; and the majority of cm required from three to L'O drinks a day to make life endurable. The Ihue Snake was the only place where they could get 'em till

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warehouo listening to your sidekicker make a speech. He Is some gravy on delivering himself of audible funds relating to natters and conclusions.' says t h" man. " 'Well. I hope he ll adjourn. 5lr.o quo non. pretty soon,' says I, 'for trade languish"Not a customer did we hnve that afternoon. At 5 o'clock two Mexicans brought Andy to the saloon lying across the bfick of a burro. We put him to bod wHle he still muttered and gesticulated with his hands and feet. "Then I locked up th" cash and went out to see what had happened. I met a man who told me all about It. Andy had made the finest twohour speech that had ever been heard In Texas, he 5a id, cr anywhere els" in the world. " 'What was it about?' I asked. " Temperance,' .riys he. 'And when he got through every man in Pird City signed the pledge for a year'."

STUDENTS GO ON . SONG STRIKE TO KEEP INSTRUCTOR

Holv Roller Collcpc Men Ship; Nine Hours to Save Blind Pastor's Job.

NOUTH BEKGi:X, X. J April 2. Armed guards patrol t'.ic property and grounds of the Holy Roller

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thf intrrfsl ef Flee- I A tJtcr.l Drct'ofrier.t by J cn Institution thst trill J

J te hrlpeJ tv what- S evtr helft thttf A A . TT? f! s5 Nu Company

but the ugly little duckling grew up to be a swan

BACK uhen trolleys were poing to kill everybody and electric bulbs were mistrusted because they exploded when dropped, a pawky little industry wns here and there timidly thrusting out its pole-line tentacles to a few arc lights. Without money or credit, these puny electric light plants struggled for life nth competition in towns and lived on hope out in the sticks their own communities "sot" apainst them. Rut siuh adversity is fitted to form charr.ctcr, to sharpen vision and to solidify purpose and so it must have done in their case, too. In a short space of forty years they have grown into national prominence as a most vital arm to our progress ; and today bankers speak glowingly of the safety of their securities. "The Electric Light and Power industry needs consideration today needs fair play, goixi will and, most of all, it needs credit. That it is willing to pay for it, let us refer you to the interest rate on electric light securities. That it is able to pay and can safeguard its borrowings, let us ask you to try to recall when it had a panic, a strike, a secre reversal. What is the money for? To expand and meet the present shortage of 3,700,000 horsepower needed riozc to bring the power and light supply up to the pressing demand. Iet us not forget that when a Utility asks for a loan, or an increase in rate, tint it is in your employ under control of your own commissions, and receiving a wage that vou as a voter determine. Dont hamper yourself by hampering them.

the flood sul si led. It was beautiful and Rimpe as all truly grtat swindles are. "About 10 o'clock the slher dollars dropping cn the bar ."lowed down to playing two-teps and marches instead r.f jisr-. P.ut I looked out the windows and saw a hundreds or two our customers standing in line at Ihrd City Savings & l'an o., and I knew thev were

torrowir.g m're rnonn- to be u-ked

in by th? clammy tendrils of the ( octopus. ; "At the fashionable hour of noon everybody went home to dinner. We j told the bartenders to take advantage of the lull, and do the same. Then me and Andy counted the receipts. We had taken in We calculated that if IJlrd City would wily remain an Island for two weeks , the trust would he able to endow the Chicago university with a newdormitory of padded ells fur the : faculty, and present every' worthy J'oor man in Texas with a farm, prov.ded he furnished the ?lte for it. "Andy was especial inroaded by self-esteem at our success, the rudii ments of the scheme having originated in his own surmises and pre1 mention. He got off the safe and 1 lit the biggest cigar in tho house. " 'Jeff.' rays he, 'I don't suppose ; that anywhere in the world you could find three cormorants with ! brighter ideas at out down-treading I the proletariat than the firm of I Peter's Satan and Tucker, incorporated. We have sure handed the ! small consumer a iriant blow in the

sole apoplectic region. No?' "'Well.' says I. 'it does look as if

' we would have to take up gartritis and golf or be measured for kilt.s in ; spite, of ourselves. This little turn ,ip bug juice is-, verilv. all to the

!Skibo. And I an stand it.' says I. church and missionary college here. ' 'I'd rather bantcn than bant any j The tuwn is unse with exciteday.' . j ment. "Andy pours himself out four fin- The trouble started when the trusters of our best rye and does with: tecs decided to dismiss ltev. Krnest !it as was so intended. Tt was tlio i I,. "VYhiteomb. blind pastor of the

hrst drink I had ever known him to! Church of Jesu?, oflkial r.anie of the.

; take. ; " i5y way of liberation.' fays he, ! 'to the gods.' j "And then after thus doing urn- : brage to the heathen diabetes he I drinks another to our success. And j he begins to toast the trade, beginIning with Kaisull and the Northern j Pacific, and on down the line to the little ones like the school book combine and the oleomargarine outrages and the Lehigh - Valley and 'Great Scott (al federation. "'It's all right, Andy.' says I. 'to drink the health of our brother ! monopolists, but don't overdo the 'wassail. You know our mo.-t em

inent and loathed nuilti-eorruption-ists live on weak tea and dog biscuits.' "Andy went in the back room awhile and came out dressed in Iiis best clothes. There was a kind of murderous and soulful look of gentle riotousness in his eye that I didn't like. I watched him to see what turn the whisky was going to take in him. There are two times when you never can tell what is going to happen. One is when a man takes his first drink; and the other is when a woman takes her latest. "In less than an hour Andy's skate had turned to an ice yacht. He was outwardly decent and managed to preserve his aquarium, but inside he was impromptu and full of unexpectedness. "'Jeff, eays he, 'do you knowthat I'm a crater a living crater?" " 'That's a self-evident hypothesis,' says I. 'But you're not Irish. Why don't you say 'creature. according to the rules and syntax of America?' "'I'm the crater of a volcano.' sas he. I'm all aflame and crammed inside with an assortment of words and phrases that have got to have tin exodus. I can feel millions of synonyms and parts of speech rising In me,' says he, 'and I've pot to make a speech of some sort. Drink,' says Andy, 'always drives me to oratory.'

"Jf you've got to get rid of your i

excess verbiage, says T. 'why not go out on the river bank and speak a piece? It seems t me there was an old spell-binder named Canharides that used to go and disincoprerate himself of his windy numbers along the seashore. " 'Sn says Andy. 'I must have an audience. T feel lik o if I once turned loose people would begin to all Sen. Rev eridge the Grand Voung Sphinx of the Wabash. I've got to get an audleny' together, Jeff, and cet this oral distension assuag d or it may turn on me and I'd go about feeling like a deckle-edged edition de luxe of Mrs. L D. L X. Southworth.' " 'On what special subject of the theorems and topics does your desire for vocality seems to be connected with?' I asks. " 'I ain't particular nys Andy. 'I am equally good and vavic'. on

all subjects. I can take op the matter of Itussiau immigration, or the

poetry jf John W

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.lpt , .in u iii.tivc, iiiy a

cry, sob and shed team by turns.' '"Well. Andy.' wys I. 'if you are bound to get rid of this accumu'a- I ti-n of f macular Fuppoe u uTo : out in town and work it on sonu: 1 indulgent citizen. Mo and the boys will tak- tare of the buines. Everybody will be tiuo;jch ünner! pretty soon, and Salt pork and beans ' makes a. man pretty thir;y. We ought to take in $1,30'J limio by! midnight.' "So Araly goes1 out of the Blue ! Snake, and I see him stopping men j on the street and talking to "em. : Hy and by he has half a dozen in a bunch listening to him; and prct'y1 coon I see him waing his arn.s ar.d ' elocuting at a good-sized crowd on i a corner. When he walks away they string out after him. talking all the ; tim; and ho b.-ads 'em down the main treet of Bird City with mopmen joining the precession as they go. It rtmirided me of th"- id b-g-eidetiKiin that I'd read in books! about the Pied Piper of Hi ddieek ' charming the chiMrn aw ay from j the town. j "One o'clock came; and tk'vi J : ;

; and U got um; r the wire f..p pkic-; and not a Rird itirn came in f..r ! ja drink. Th- str t-,- w. jc d rtcd except for sme ducks and lidi ; going to the store. T!ht was only ! la light dvlzzU falling then, j "A lonesome man came abm and ! ! stopped in front of the Hluo Sr:ake '

to orape the mud off h t'0..t. " 'Pardner c ays I. 'wiiat hi hap-

' ptr.cd? This morning there was ! 1'ectic caycty afoot: and r.ow it ffm ; more like one of the?,! ru iri ! ci?i- ' 'of Tyre and S;ph n where the bn. ; Jli-trd crawls on the wall of the 1 ; main porteuKH.'

'"The w he-de town. sas the mudman, 'is up in Spcrry's- wo.d

parting frcm the tenets of the faith as laid down by Mrs. Gertrud? Moss, its founder." "It's nor. tru?." m!J r.ev. w.!tconb. "I believe, in demonstrative religion." "And so do we." said th Holy Poller students. "nd that's why we'll stand by theo to tho end."

"Blue laws must !?urely fall. Onlr the gospel rf Jesu Christ can make the wcrld better." Tho Iv. F. A. HertwJg. Detroit pflstor.

American Xavy Acting As Refugee's Guardian

Th AmT.'an rnvy h'is

to ke-p track rf ill -.f tve thu' separated from t?ie;r '

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CONSTAXTINOPI.n. Apr!'. 2.

The American raw : acting as . It guardian t the Crimean refugeo ir. 1 the hospitals - of t!:i cltv. w I'f ! rr

families b.io been sep.-atd fr- ni A:.-.erian Ited them. The absolute necessity of ' ir-adro,uaey of

evacuating refugees from ror,!.in- I f..r tlv ?.r. tinoplo has resulted in hundred !-j available fr parting from th city and ri i-.g half f tlie p kinsfeii;- beb.ir.d. ill in th h. spite's. th. fonr.

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.sect. Students, boys and girls, resented the move. They didn't want IIcv. Whiteomb let out, nor did they want Itev. Harold L. Moss put in charge, as the trustees decreed. The entire North Bergen police department made a sally on the church chapel

because 100 of the ttudents refused to steip their singing, i They had b-en singing for nine j hours without a halt! Sng as. SjK'evli. j The music was intended to drown I out an otiicial announcement which Pres t H. I). Smith of the boanl of i trustees was trying hard to make. ! The announcement once delivered

would remove Itev. Whiteomb and install Itev. Moss. Smith linally had his little say, but only after every one of tho students was marched down to the village police station .and haled before a magistrate. During their hearing on a disorderly conduct charge, the s-tudents continued their singing in the court room. Following their arraignment the students seized the college buildings and dormitories. They held forth for three days and nights and were only subjugated through starvation. Then the students retreated to the home of their .blind pastor and leader. From Distant I-uul.s. Many of the Holy Roller students come from far-off lands. India and Africa are represented. According to Miss Gertrude Harrold. treasurer of the church and college, the board of trustees ousted Rev. Whiteomb "because he was de-

Reasons Why You Should Buy Your Next Winter's Supply of

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First We are assured by all Mine Operators that their Prices on Coal for April shipments will be the lowest, and will advance each month thereafter. Second Railroads are in danger of being tied up on account of reduction of wages; also there is no assurance that Freight Rates will not advance. Third Unless Coal is purchased by the "People" during: the Summer Months when Coal and Cars are plentiful, a car shortage will without doubt again develop in the Fall, making an-

'Hisrh Prices'

other coal shortage meaning

S. C. Lontz & Sons Arthur L. Miller Jacob Hoffman Sam Pascoff Feaser Coal Co. T. B. Dutcher Kanouse & Phillips Knoblock & Martin Staples & Hardman

Nelson & Sons Coal Co. Grümmell Supply Co. C. H. Defrees Lontz Bros. Schuyler Rose Walter C. Mill er River Park Coal Co.

G. C. Hartman J. Schulman & Co. Community Coal Co. Cash Coal Supply Co. A. Smoger & Sons Leo Deka Coal Yard Coal Service

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ST. JOSEPH LOAN & TRUST CO. 1 iff P

money in that m

Before you put your

stock Ask Your Banker. He will gladly advise you.

Keats. fr th1 i CS ittire. fir drain- ! Yfr iti(ii( :i(e wt p, ; til t1

Use Your Head Ask the Salesman if his stock is approved by the Banks and Chamber of Commerce.

Beware oi "Blue Sky" stock offer-

ings. Before you put your monej

down ask your Banker about it.

OSEPH

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TRUST

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