South Bend News-Times, Volume 30, Number 231, South Bend, St. Joseph County, 16 August 1913 — Page 2

fe1 , .

-V-

: ,, : ; : '- ..; ..: h : "v V .'' :-' ; r ' i-:'y'- I

Ono of the King' Wives Whom Ho Christened "Erie Pre- ' ferred" Because She Was Such a Favorite of His.

ATiniONB Is going bc-sslng for the lack of a man braTO enorigh to occupy It It la a perfectly good throne, fully Kl 'lipped rith all modern Improvements, Including thirty wives and Innumerable Fervants and retainers, and It Is quite centrally located. To be exact. It lies on the equator about four thousand miles to the southwest of Hawaii. This vacant throne is that of the kingdom of Aroral. ono of the Gilbert Islands. Its last incumbent was Archibald C. Everett, formerly a New York stock broker. Mr. Everett abandoned the stock broking business for the king business rather suddenly. He bad been on the "short" end of the stock market for some time that is to say, he had Fold a "whole lot of stocks that he didn't own. in the hopo that prices would go down and that when the time came for him to deliver those he had eold, he would be able to get them at reduced price. Instead of goln:; down, however, the market went up, and Mr. Everett lost out. It was then that he decided that the atmosphere along his beloved Broadway was too warm for comfort, and that, by comparison, even the tropical climate of the South Sea Islands might bo regarded as frigid. This was four years ago. Some few months later he found himself llrmly established on tho throne of Arorai and tho lesser half of thirty different wives. C Ho reigned most satisfactorily to all concerned until a few weeks ago, when he suddenly developed a desire to return to his former haunts along the Great White Way. At the present moment he is aboard tome merchant steamer in the Pacific, headed for these shores. It was all on account of three Parisian gowns but flnst a few words

Q in M4? pm&M m w mm, m&W4Ci 5 m t ; 1 J P mTw ll l lJ (I ' 1 n'

The

. 0 ' explaining Mr. Everett's kingly career. Mr. Everett, before he became a king, was a man-about-town, Beau Brummel and boulevardier. Lobsters, champagne and choru.. girls were his favorite dishes. Suddenly affairs in Wall Street left him in a shaky state of health financially, and ho started on a trip around the world. In tho course of his travels he came to Aroral. It Is In the midst of the mare of islands scattered through the Southern Pacific. The nearest centre of civilization lies in Samoa, over a thousand miles away. This was Just the place for Mr. Everett to start in anew. Fortunately for Mr. Everett, the king of the island, one Rovaka, didn't like hl3 looks, from a gustatory standpoint, and as it was not considered etiquette for the lesser dignitaries of the Island to take up what the king turned down, the New Yorker was not molested. On the contrary, his fine white flannels, his manners, and'; a phonograph which he carried with him, so charmed the old king that, before he had been on the island more than a few hours, the king begged him to accept Arawall, his only daughter, for a wife and named him as heir to the throw! Having given him his daughter In marriage and named him heir. King Rovaka then further, evinced his liking for the lucky New Yorker by dying, and thus giving him the throne. With the throne went some twenty wives, and in the year that followed King Everett, or King Eta Moroa, tl Immaculate One, ns he was called, gradually increased his wifely collection until he had an oven thirty. It was a long while Ixrfcre the American Kiner could master the snvage lingo, and he insisted upon nam-

"Never since the fig-leaf days of Eve were women arrayed as thece dusky queens were after their husband divided the three Paris outfits equally among the thirty. The king nearly burst with pressed laughter when he saw them. A pair of corsets and two bco sleeves hid what they cculd of 'Erie Preferredy amplo figure; Soup' was simply attired in a muff and silk stockings: and others unblushingly wore just a hat or a feather boa. or whatever biU of the finery had fallen' to their share,"

Unusual Domestic Problem

V:-. ? ov Hf vrjy X

-. X St I 'Y- "y,-Sj ' H -!$ The Wife, Kncvfn "S?iiita Fet" as She Looked in One of the Paris Gowns.

..-.. v v.. .. 'i- v V i :Tv:-. .

V :7 i : : : ' V V ,-v? W : : :-.y . : : : ' ' f xyj V- ; mr - 'tw x- z v : ::: y . y y : 4 ; S : ,: ..?s:A:. 'Vi?:.; : vs

kf k ormbus wad

:vAJr: MMop"--the W

..v '41 .or AfimiH

'-.fy.. . ,. - . . " -V. ' i , O

cause

Solve It

m rW::-; Whoso Ar-?.te ;'; Death

r-J' 1:fii Gave aiM the , :iWtBV American

. 4rf W Throne.

: V. 7" r-A . - l?r. - ' y

; ;: I &'rf3f Vv'-jiiS

lng things in his own fashion. Instead of the difficult-sounding names w'ith which his wives were endowed he dubbed them after stocks in which he had specialized in New York, selecting the names with more or less reference to the characteristics poshe christened. them who had an of hair he called all Street designation Pacific. Another who had a pnvJilectlon for mushy foods he called -Soup" (Southern Pacific). A third who was always on the Jump he christened "Alo" (American Locomotive). A fourth who was always jabbering he named "Con. Gas." One who had long since passed her first youth ho dubbed "Old Woman" (Ontario & Western). Another who highly prized a piece of rope he had discarded, and wore It as a necklace, he appropriately named "Clothes.Ine," the Wrall Street name for Cen tral Leather. Still another was "Katy," the nickname for Missouri, Kansas & Texas. The chief of police he called "Copper," and the rest of the popuiace of the island he named to suit his other whims. And now the throne of Arorai is vacant! King Everett has abdicated, and will ner return, and it was all secause of three Parisian gowns! One of the natives who had so aiuch copra fce didn't know what to

i sfssed by thoso

Tbxat Cost an

American King His Dusky Throne Be-

He Couldnt . . .

The Weird Medicine Men Who Vainly Tried to Settle the Troubles of the Royal Household with Their Magic.

do with it. bought of one of tbe traders three Parisian gowns and all the lingerie and other accessories which went with them, Under the laws of the island, everything purchased or otherwise acquired by the natives had to be offered to the king. These gowns and French finery were the first real signs of civilization Everett had seen in four years, and he promptly accepted them.

Calling "Soup,- "Mop" and MAlo

his three favorite wives, to him, the king allowed each of them to Felect one of the gowns and the filmy creations that went with It. There was a good deal of misapprehension among the women as to the exact functions or the various articles of clothing, hut the king, full of experience gathered in years gone by, was able to advise his wives, and they were soon attired in tho way the clothes were Intended to be worn. The king sat back on his throne, half closed his eyes, and as the turee wives paraded up and down the court imagined he was once again back on dear old Broadway and that three of his favorite musical comedy queens were waiting on him. His bliss was short-lived. In some Tvay the news of the arrival of the wonderful new powns spread through the royal domain, and the other twenty-seven wives quickly presented themselves at court, demanding apparel similar to what "Mop," "Soup" and "Alo" were wearing. The American king was in a quandary. Never before had his wives assumed such a belligerent attitude. The three favorites made no move to help him out, but kept marching up and down in their tightfittiug gowns end arousing the ire of the others. He summoned his medicine men, but even their magic was unable t quell the wrath of the envious twentyseven beauties. The situation grew more threatening every moment. Suddenly he had an inspiration. Turning to "Mop," "Soup" and "Alo," he commenced to laugh uproariously at them. "My good queens, how very funny you look!" he shouted. "You must really excuse my laughing, but I can't help it. What made you put those clothes on in that remarkable manner? That is not the way my people wear them." The fashionably gowned wives look-

WW w I

c3

,vr

"But the kinc didn't wait Snatching a suit-case, he fled for the boat, with tho enraged wires in pursuit" ed at each otlrr but said nothing. "No, no," wont on the king, "la cy country one woman doesn't wear all those clothes. You would b laughed at if an-one were to 6ee you dressed up like that. If you want to looli as the Parisians look, take off thou clothes and divide thein among the lot of you. There's enough for all!" Loud shouts of approval from ths rest of the wives greeted the king's announcement, and in n momen: tho three favorites were disrobing as fast as they had previously attired themselves in the filmy garments. As the various articles of dresa came o3 they were speedily pounced upon by the other women. In fifteen jplnutes every one of th thirty wives had confiscated ono of the articles and was cmbellisninar her person with it One drow a pair of shoes, another a hat, a third a pair of gloves, a fourth a petticoat, a fifth a slip, a sixth a pair of corsets, a seventh n belt, and so on. There wasn't one in tho wholo lot who had more than two or three of tho articles of clothing upon her, and mo3t of them had only one. When the distribution was complete the thirty wives paraded before the king, and although ho was nearly bursting from suppressed laughter, he complimented them all on their appearance and inwardly congratulated himself at having thus settled what might easily have developed into a very troublesome cituation. Again the king's bliss was short' lived. For a week or two his thirty wives went about attired in the various garments they had selected In the general distribution. They looked upon each other with more or less amusement, each considering herself to have drawn the prize and none of them suspecting for a moment that she looked any different from th women the king had associated- with In America and Europe. And then, some three weeks later, came another trading vessel to Arorai Island. Among the articles one of the natives purchased with his copra was a late issue of ono of tho monthly magazines. In it there were several colored fashion-plates which attracted his attention. When ho got back to his homo he showed the pictures to his women folk. Then, of course, he offered tho magazine to th king, and, as luck would havo it; "Soup" was c i the royal knee whea the fashion-plates were revealod"Soup" was quick to see tho way in which the French models were attired. Snatching tho magazine from the king, she shrieked for the other wives and waved tho fashion-plates in front of them. Tho king dismounted from his throne. His disgruntled wives wera angrily conversing among themselves. "Alo" was marching up and down, exhorting the women to have revenge on their king, who had lied to them and made a joke of them. The elders of the tribe were summoned, and it was decided to put the king on trial. But the king didn't wait Tha trading vessel which had brought the fateful magazine was still la tha offing. Its boat was on the shore, and, snatching a suitcase which h always kept ready for emergencies, he fled for the shore with the enraged wives in pursultl

sxrji-Iho

(

C C