Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 129, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 December 1909 — THE MISTAKE OF SI. [ARTICLE]

THE MISTAKE OF SI.

After Reading the Paper Expressed His Opinion. Some passenger had left an old daily paper in the seat of the'passenger car, and when the old farmer and his wife got aboard and took a seat he picked up the paper and began reading it. It was dated the day after the last presidential election, and after reading for a few minutes and scratching his head in a puzzled way the husband said: “Martha, did you know that there was an election yesterday?” “Mercy, no!” she replied. "Well, there was, and Roosevelt was elected. By thunder, but I can’t make it out,” “It says so, doesn’t it?” “Of course it does. Look there.” "And you didn’t know a thing about it?” “No, nor iiobody else in our town.” He purzled over the matter for the next 10 minutes, reading the news again and again, but after a time his eyes caught the date, and the thing was made clear to him. Then he said: the last 20 years.” “Yes, you have.” “And I’ve claimed that I knowed all wuth knowing.” “Yes.” “Well, I’m goin’ to change it a bit. This is one of last year’s papers. You are a fool just the same, but this occasion I’ll give in that I’m mighty clus to bein’ ditto!” A Man and a Woman. His doctor said he had an iron constitution; His friends declared that he had nerves of steel; His uncle thought he had a wooden head; The girls all said he had a heart of stone; f His enemies declared that there was more brass to him than anything else, While others said he had a lot of sand. And his admirers maintained that he was all wool and a yard wide. She had diamonds in her eyes; her teeth were pearls, her lips were rubies, her ears were delicate seashells, her hair was strands of burnished gold; her skin was of velvet and she had roses In her cheeks. Verily, verily, they were mysteriously and wonderfully made!—Life.