Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 114, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 October 1909 — Life Is a Funny Proposition. [ARTICLE]

Life Is a Funny Proposition.

Man comes into the world without his consent and leaves it against his will. During his stay on earth his time is spent in one continuous round of contraries and misunderstandings. In his Infancy he is an angel; in his boyhood he is a devil; in his manhood he is everything from a lizard up; in his duties he is a fool; if he has no family he’s committing race suicide; if he raises a family he is a chump; if he raises a check he is a thief, and then the law raises Cain with him; if he is a man. he is a poor manager and has no sense; if he is rich he is dishonest, but considered smart; if he is in politics he Is a grafter and a crook; if he is out of politics you can’t place him, as he is “an undesirable citizen;” if he goes to church he is a hypocrite; if he stays away from church he is a sinner; if he donates to foreign missions he does it for show,; If he doesn’t, he is stingy and a “tight wad.” When he first comes into the yorld, everybody wants to kiss him— before he goes out they want to kick him. If he dies young there was a great future before him; if he lives to a ripe old age, he is in the way, only living to save funeral expenses. Life is a funny proposition after all. You can’t climb very high so long as you think about falling.