Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 96, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 August 1909 — Did It Ever Occur To You? [ARTICLE]

Did It Ever Occur To You?

Our wife is gone. Gone to visit our mother-in-law. Gone back to the old home and the real cream, says an exchange. Back to the old oaken bucket and the mud pies of memory. We are not saying this to make other men envious whose wives are not gone. But it is a sort of whistle to keep our courage up. For a long time the opportunity to hang out all night and make a monkey of ourselves has looked good. Now, with no restraint on our conduct, no tearful wife waiting to throw her hooks into our hair, no one to lie to, nobody to pacify with artiful inventions, no person to care a whoop whether you go bughouse or not, now that the very hour and moment is pregnant with witchery and our horoscope is psychologically correct for a riotous period of debauchery, we get sleepy at 8:30 and mope off to bed like a mollusk.