Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 92, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 August 1909 — Four Pneumatic Cows. [ARTICLE]

Four Pneumatic Cows.

The town of O’Brien has four pneumatic cows, thanks to Freddie Kupp aged 17 years, who has seen fit to introduce this innovation to the barnyard world. Some little time ago Freddie became displeased at Seth Morris an O'Brien ranchman, and decided that Seth shculd be made to feel the weight of Freddie’s displeasure. Some boys might have heaved rocks through Seth’s windows, or “swiped” his fruit and vegetables, or put some of his live stock out of commission. This was not Freddie’s way, however. He hid his displeasure and waited for a chance to “get back at Mr. Morris.” A couple of days ago it came to Frederick’s attention that Mr. Morris wanted to buy five nice milch cows. Freddie, sitting on a fence and watching spring creep over the White River Valley, thought and thought. He knew of four cows for sale cheap, but they were not milch cows, and Seth Morris wanted milch cows. Then the great idea came. Frederick went to the farmer own Ing the four nonmilch cows and arranged for their purchase at S3O jer cow. Then he secured an ancient bicycle pump. “I’ll make them look like milch cows, for S4O apiece,’’ Freddie confidentially informed Mr. Morris. “But I must deliver the cows and get my money at. once. I need it.” The cows looked mighty good to Mr. Morris. They looked as if they could give gallons and gallons of milk He bought the cows, paid for them. The fiist time he tried to milk them, however, the net result was several cubic feet of compressed air. Expert testimony secured by Mr Morris is to the effect that he cannot prosecute Frederick Kupp, although at the very first milking ever the air supply has been exhausted from O’Brien’s first pneumatic cows.—Seattle Times.