Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 87, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 July 1909 — Deep Roots. [ARTICLE]

Deep Roots.

Before the days of anyone treatment in the extraction of teeth, an Irishman with a swollen jaw entered the dentist’s office. “Me good mon,” he said to the dentist, “I want yez to take out a tooth, but mind, it must be done nisy and wid no sufferin’.” “Certainly, my friend, certainly,” said the dentist, a bright resourceful young fellow. “Just make yourself comfortable in that chair for a moment.” He then called his office boy aside to the next room. “You saw that Mick?” “Sure!” “Well, I want you to station yourself behind his chair, and when I wink you just jab this hat pin through the cushion with all your might.” The office boy received his instructions, also a large hat-pin; and, unseen by the Irishman, sat down on the floor behind him. The tooth extractor then proceeded to tell the Hibernnian a joke; and as soon as Pat laughed, he winked his eye. His accomplice obediently jabbed the pin through the cushion; the victim sprang into the air with a cry of pain; * and the dentist, carefully watching his opportunity took occasion of the excitement to jam the forceps into the patient’s mouth and yank the tooth out. When it was all over, the dentist said cheerfully: “Well, Pat, it was perfectly painless, wasn’t it?” Pat shook his head dubiously, and then said: “I would never have thought the roots went down so far.”

Itching, torturing skin eruptions, disfigure, annoy, drive one wild. Doans Ointment brings quick relief and lasting cures. Fifty cents at any drug store. The contract has been let and the work commenced for the erection of a $17,000 hotel at Bremen. The town has a population of about 1,800. After a heavy meal, take a couple of Doan’s Regulets, and give your stomach, liver and bowels the help they will need. Regulets bring easy, regular passages of the bowels.