Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 87, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 July 1909 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 4 [ADVERTISEMENT]

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LEE ITEMS. Mrs. Gilmore and Mrs. Clark returned Friday night from a visit at Clyde Clark’s. Mrs. Belle Dodd died at 9:45 Thursday at the home of W. L. Stiers. She was about 60 years old. Frank McCoy, of Indianapolis, who has been visiting relatives here, returned Thursday morning. Charley Jacks, the Rensselaer barber, is now working on the railroad. He moved to Lee Wednesday. Sympathy. It was in the art muse ’.m. “Yes, Mandy,” said Mr. Hardapple, as he referred to his catalogue, “this be a stature of Venus. You see, she hasn’t any arms.’’ “Poor thing!” sighed Mrs. Hardapple. “I was just wondering.” “Wondering v what, my dear?” “vv hy, how in the world she ever carried her shopping bag.” Familiar Expression. The ferry acrosse the Styx was crowded to suffocation. “By jinks,” whispered a new arrival, “I believe at one time old Charon must have a conductor on a street car. “What gave you that idea?" asked another shade. “Why, I just heard him say: “Step lively, please, there is plenty of room up front!’” Up Against It. Pearl—“ Percy Cauliflower is having a hard time with his courtship these days.” Ruby—“lndeed?” Pearl —“Yes, he called on one girl and her father handled him without gloves.” Ruby—“gracious! ” Pearl —“Yes, and then he called on another girl and her brother happened to be a pugilist and handled him with gloves.”

Masculine Trials. Harry, is six years old. “Pa,” he asked one day. “If I get married will I have a wife like ma?” “Very likely/’ replied his father. “And if I don’t ggt married will I have to be an old bachelor like Uncle Tom?” “Very likely.” “Well, pa,” he said, after a moment of deep thought, “it’s a mighty tough world for us men, ain’t it.” —Success. Another Victim. 1 Two country youths were on a visit to London. They went into the British museum and there saw a mummy, over which hung a card on which was printed, “B. C. 87.” They were mystified, and one said, “What do you make of it, Bill?” “Well,” said Bill, “I should say it was the number of the motor car that killed him.” Thought It a Proposal. The pretty girl was soliciting for a charity publication. “I have come,” she exclaimed suddenly, “to take your name.” And the young man remembered it was leap year and jumped two feet. .“To take my name, miss?” he stammered. "Oh, er—tjiat is, this is so sudden.” ( | e A Possibility. “Why I Would Not Marry My Husband Again” is the title of a thoughtful cotnmunlcation in a magazine. One reason she does not bear strongly upon Is that*her husband might not ask her again. A Diagnosis. The Palmist —Your timidity is a bar to your success. You dread dangerous situations. You prefer to keep yourseifraway from the attention of your fellow men. May I ask your business? The Subject—Certainly. I’m a professional airship navigator. Making Literature. “What do you want with this automobile catalogue?” “I propose to write some dialogue for it, and then It will be a minor novel.” For Sale—Good renting property paying good Interest. Bargain If takWo** at this ofljce