Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 58, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 April 1909 — Gushing Gertie Discusses the 1909 Millinery Creations. [ARTICLE]

Gushing Gertie Discusses the 1909 Millinery Creations.

By Gushing Gertie.

“Lawsy, girls, have you tried on any of the new spring sky pieces? They are the swellest Sol shades that ever left the straw stack. Talk about size and shapes, why, bless me, girrils, they are the biggest and most marvelous that Lizzie has trimmed since she took a correspondence course in the art of assembling feathers, Sowers, fruit and Subdubs on braided barley stems. Gee, though, I thought pa would have a hemorrhage when I told him u that I gave thirteen and a que for the bunch the milliner tied up for me. He said he could get a pitch fork and go out to the hay mow and make a better looking brain shield than anything he had seen in the millinery glass fronts. But dad’s reasonable; he cooled down; but he limited me to one nickle show a night and said I couldn’t have more than three sodas and one sack of popcorn on any band concert during the.coming summer. But I know dad; he’s the easiest mark that ever shelled out cash for a family of spenders and long before the band concert season opens up he’ll forget all about his orders and I’ll go back to my old Thursday night diet of four sodas, two buffalos, a half pound of chocks and all the popped cow feed I can stuff. But that’s getting /clear off the millinery gush. You should have seen the jam at the opening. I only got to try on 43 hats, because I had to hold up every little bit for some one else at the quick-silvered reflector. I had tackled all the broad brims and tub shapes in the ready mades and the city trimmer who is putting on the finishing touches handed me an inverted canoe that you strap on crossways. I landed over in front of the plate glass and took a look, but it wasn’t on straight and I tipped it up a trifle on the star board side and told the cash getter that it didn’t strike my happy spot by a big site. ‘Why,’ says she, astonished like, ‘it’s the prettiest thing in the s-s-sheop,’ and she drew on the word until T thought it had a dozen letters in it. That’s the real wholesale house gag, and the modern trimmer that can’t use the city sale gush don’t pull down many greenbacks. I declared that the hat was horrid and said I wouldn’t be seen dead with it in the same block, but Lizzie held on with a calm serenity that made me look away from her placid blinkers and right into the reflector. ‘Charming,’ said the expert assembler of posies, ‘of all the girrils that have raved over that chick Parisian cre-ation, you have the best shaped head and figure for it.’ She was just starting. Really she put up an argument for that raven lock cover that would make the ordinary mermaid’s love song sound like a nickolodeon chirper. I always thought I had a pack of nerve, but that powder rag behind the Easter springers wilted me to a cooked lettuce stage and all I remember is that I said ‘Charge it to papa.’ I like it now, and on Easter Sunday I an going to wear it along with my new Princess spellbinder and if I don’t make tracks that will be noticed for a few weeks, I’ll miss my surmises. There is only one really annoying thing about the elongated weather shield and that is that I can’t gum with it. I had a couple of sticks between my ivories when I tried the straw frame on and it set up a tottering that resembled a see-saw board. But I have a notion to put gum eating on the blacklist anyway, for I have got the bottoms of all the chairs lined and there is no space left for the fresh cuds. Say, kiddo, if you haven’t bought your flower garden yet, you should hurry up and may be you can get that foot tub special that was my second choice. But if you are susceptible to soft, mellow and woozie argument you had better steer clear from the peroxided gabbler that hung me up for my joy straw."