Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 41, Number 51, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 March 1909 — BITS OF HUMOR. [ARTICLE]

BITS OF HUMOR.

A tip-top resort —the supola. • * • A man of flighty disposition should neves be made the cashier of a bank. • • • When a ship takes her “trial” trip, is dt necessary to rig her with "jury” masts? • * • Excited Passenger —Do these cartrun on time? Phelgmatic Conductor —No; they run on rails. • • • Mary had a little pug, And everywhere would trot him; But she failed to pay bis tax one day, And the dog catcher got him. • » *vr- 1 Planner Hayrick-—How in the name of sense will I keep the crow* outen my Cornfield next spring? They’ve just doubled this season. Agricultural Editor —r That's easy enough, my rural" friend. You put crow bars up all around your field. * • • Pompous Professor (to his class in medical university)—"Tbe patient, you observe, young gentlemen, has one perfect eye, whereas the 6ther Is drawn Inward toward the nose, causing a painful ablyquity of vision. In this Instance you, Mr. Flnkboue, may rise mad tell the class What you would da" MV. Flnkbooe—(after s pause and seriously gazing at the patient)—"! presume I would look Just as crosseyed as he does.”