Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 40, Number 72, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 May 1908 — ACCIDENT TO MERRY AUTOISTS [ARTICLE]

ACCIDENT TO MERRY AUTOISTS

Four Men En Route from Chicago to Cincinnati Have Bad Spill South of Rensselaer. Four men in a~White steamer automobile, en route from Chicago to Cincinnati on a purely pleasure trip, came to grief just south of Rensselaer Saturday afternoon. The driver of the big car went to turn out at the narrow sand hill cut half way to Remington to let a farmer pass, and as the car was being run at the rate of about 40 miles an hour; and the driver did not carefully reckon his turn, thd car shot into the side of the sand bank and climbed up the hill at the side of the cut. Two of the occupants those in the rear seat, were thrown violently into the air, one going a distance of 25 or 30 feet. The other two were not thrown so far, but fell clear of the car which was turned over on its side.

The men telephoned back to Rensselaer for assistance, and Delos Thomi son, Frank Ham and Dr. Washburn hurried to the scene, and aided in turning the wrecked car over on its wheels again. The car was not seriously injured and after it was back on its wheels it was run back down hill by its own power and was able to make its way back to Rensselaer, where it was put in dry dock until Sunday morning. The two men who had occupied the rear seat were severely bruised up by the accident and one of them was compelled to go to bed and to submit to a rigid examination and later to undergo a body massage treatment at the hands of Harry Wiltshire. They guarded their identity with great care from the newspaper reporter for the Republicn who called upon them shortly after the accident. “Are you much hurt?’’ inquired the reporter. “Not hurt at aH,” said the man in bed, “it’s just an old attack of lumbago come back again.’* “Where did it occur?’’ was queried “Right up on the Kankakee marsh,’ 1 said the injured man as he put his hands back of his body and gasped in pain, "struck me Just as we were coming, through the marsh, and its the worst attack I have had in three years.” “But the accident,” said the reporter, “where did it happen?” “Accident, sassafras and pipe stems,” only those are not just the words he used, “there was no accident. It was just my lumbago come back.” “But your friend here with the bleeding chin, was he not in the automobile, when the accident occurred?”

“Automobile,—— “ (more language like the above) “it wasn’t an automobile at all, it was a crane. Poor bird had its toe caught in a muskrat trap. We saw the unfortunate bird as it struggled for liberty there on* the banks of the Kankakee, and we rushed to its assistance- The trap was heavy, it was made of lead or iron or some other heavy material and it began to sink. We grasped for the bird to rescue it and ”

The injured man grabbed for his back again and let out a sigh of agony. The reporter was quick to

sieze upon the opportunity tpget back to the interview, and asked if the automobile was badly wrecked. “Automobile, t>lank,” came the response as the man let loose of his back, “it was a visit from my mother-in-law that drove me from home.” “And your friend’s chin,’ said the reporter, “why is it bleeding?” “That’s where the ungrateful crane that we sought to rescue bit him” was the quick reply. “Don’t jolly the reporter,” we said, "come to earth.” / "I did,” he replied, and we tried the man with the bleeding chin. “Give me a square deal, and tell me how it happened,” said the reporter. “Nothing doing,” said the interrogated, "my friend Jones,” indicating th< man in the bed who was again writhing with his hands over his kidneys, “does all the talking for the entire quartet. Sometimes when I go to talk, I get tangled up, but Jones there has an all day argument and never gets muddled; I think it was a sandhill crane, but you ask Jones, he knows.”

The man in bed was quick to see that he was going to be approached again and beat us to It. “Good-bye,” he said, “wish you didn’t have to go. Always sorry to see a fellow have to hurry. If you had time, I’d get up and do a ballet dance for you, but since you are really in a hurry, I’ll have to excuse you. If you ever run across us again, I’ll break a bottle of champaign for you. Now don’t let me keep you; Busbee there will let you go too. Do look me up if you ever come to Chi?’

We tried to talk. Don’t usually give up when we have a story in sight, but Jones beat us again. “Just call my pal Busbee, the one the crane bit, he’s a good fellow and won’t care. Excuse me for not going to the door, but my lumbago is giving me a bad chase.” He grabbed his back again and sank back In his bed. Unconsciously we were moving toward the door, but he looked so ghastly and so Innocent, and the sight was so pitiful that we turned and rushed to his bedside. A touch of pink came into his cheek, his eyes opened and he raised on his elbow. “Was it a steamer?” we asked.

"Nit,” came the answer, “Alexander is the only checker player in the crowd, and he didn’t come. Good bye, hope you have more time and can staj for the ballet dance whfen you see me again.” That closed the interview. The reporter rushed to a soda water fountain and admitted to himself that he had been bluffed, so he quaffed a raspberry buffalo. He undertook to hunt up the other two members of the party, but they were at supper, but the sick man had reached them with a telepathic message and they had left a list of ficticious names on the hotel register and the following message with the hotel landlord: "I I that reporter comes around, show him these, and let him guess the rest.” “Bluffed again,” thought the reporter, and gave up t the chase. The two less injured men started in the slightly disabled car for Indianapolis Sunday morning, and the injured ones left for that city on the 2:01 train. They were not seriously hurt, but had quite lame backs and a few other bruises.

"Buy up the extra editions of that fellow’s newspaper” called out the interview specialist as he boardec the train, "and I’ll settle with you when I come back.”