Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 40, Number 54, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 March 1908 — Foolish People [ARTICLE]

Foolish People

Josephine Discusses the Gifts They Give S-

Suddenly my Josephine lifted het tuneful little voice, exclaiming: “Augustus!” To which we made response, as ever: - L .. / -■ _ “My love?” i y Whereupon Josephine clasped her knee, sighed, shook her head, looked at the fire again and murmured: “Augustus! .What f-o-o-o-o-o-oolish things some persons buy for presents!” She turned and lifted her wistful little mouth, tremulous for my judgment upon this the fruits of her philosophy, and I kissed her then and there right tenderly, knowing . that if I seemed to scoff or scorn the erudition of her saying or the depth of the view with which she regarded life her bright blue eyes would fill with tears and her gentle heart would break. “Those folks next door — ’’began Josephine with a sniff. She stopped so that we might sniff together a conjugal sniff of utter contempt and derision at the folks next door. “Those folks next door,” repeated Josephine. “What do you suppose he bought her?” “A new bonnet, I hope!” I cried with sudden energy, basking already in Josephine’s smiles, for the bonnets of the woman next door were to Josephine the theme for many a busy hour and a shining mark at which we ever aimed the polished darts of our irony and the daggers of our wit. “No, not a bonnet!” exclaimed Josephine, asd we laughed right merrily together until Josephine checked herself with a start of disappointment and murmured in sad reproach: “Augustus!” To which we lovingly replied: “My love?” “Augustus! You are smoking!” I looked at her in sudden guilt and with a premonition of what was now to come. “Augustus!” she breathed. “My love?” “Augustus! Your smoking can!** r With a feeling of despair and sorrow I arose to my feet, but Josephine’s eye was on me and Josephine’s mouth was drCoping and I knew that if I were to refuse her implied request she would wither an# droop like a gathered flower and her dream of love would end In darkest night.

Wherefore I went to the hall rack, placed my smoking oap upon my head and returned to Josephine. It was a -round smoking cap of light blue vel- ' vet (such, I believe, as the gentry of ! Turkey wear and call fezes) and it was trimmed with beads. On one side was a dragon rampant, with his tongue stuck out —this detail being ingeniously executed with beads of a scarlet I color —so that, being seen from this ! side, I was an inspiration of horror and the terror of all beholders. On the other side was a butterfly sipping honey from a flower and looking peaceful and pastoral beyond words —so that being regarded from that side, I mutely bore reference to a jocund life redolent with the scent of new-mown hay and musicaT with the lowing of the kine. This inspiring cap was crowned with a golden tassel which tickled my nose and my ears with a titllatlve impartiality that I could only escape by coiling the tassel upon the top of the cap and balancing it there. And thus equipped I sat me down to smoke. "f never —” cried Josephine, clasping her knee again In a transport. “I never saw such a handsome cap! Never! He looks so fierce!” “The butterfly, my love?” “Augustus! No! The dragon!” I turned the saucy dragon to the back of my head so that Josephine could feast her eye upon the butterfly, and then I smoked as though my tobacco were never so sweet as when I smoked It In my smoking cap. “The moment I saw it I knew It was for you!” cried Josephine, “and I was so afraid that It would be sold before I could find a salesgirl to wait on me.” “But It wasn’t.” “No! And, Augustas! She was the nicest salesgirl! I told her, love, that your eyes were blue and she said It was Just the thing for you. Oh, I was trembling with excitement. She said you would look so distinguished in It!” The tassel slipped down and tickled my ear. I colled it back and smoked on. • “And what do yoa suppose she bought him next door?" laughed Josephine, and breathlessly answered. *A walking stick!" “Never!" I cried. “Augustus! Yes! A silver-handled walking stick, and he came out swinging it this morning. Such a fo-o-o-oo-oollsh present. If It were something useful like that Jewel case you gave me—" The clock interrupted her by beginning to strike nine. It was the hour! Josephine gave me a solemn look and nod and immediately I fetched her jewel case. With another solemn look Josephine unscrewed her earrings amV placed them In the Jewel caste. Her ring followed. Dutifully then I gave her my scarfpln and sleeve links. Josephine solemnly locked the box and looked at me at last with a beaming eye. “There!" said Josephine. “There!" said I. “Now we can sleep in peace,” said my beloved, “and have nothing to reproach ourselves with either, like those silly persons who give each oth- | er walking sticks and fl-s-s-s s-s-sllvep mounted carrying sets!”