Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 40, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 25 February 1908 — STRANGE ENGLISH WRITTEN BY JAPS [ARTICLE]

STRANGE ENGLISH WRITTEN BY JAPS

The Japanese certainly do try to learn the English language. They find the English language a pretty hard nut to crack, but that doesn’t deter them. They keep right at it and crack it An American gentleman, agent at Yokohama for a trans-Pacific steamship company, now on leave in New York, brings a quaint package of terial illustrating the efforts of the English schooled Japanese to gain a half-Nelson on the language of Shakespeare. A few months ago a young Japanese applied to the steamship agent for a job as clerk in the Yokohama steamship office. There being no vacancies, says the New York Sun, the agent civilly got rid of the applicant “d on the following day he received this explanatory letter from him: Dear Sir; Many thanks for your sparing precious time during business nour on my visit yesterday. I failed on that occasion, owing rather to my sly nature to speak out my principal motive for a clerk life, and should be much obliged if you will take it into consideration. The cause for my being clerk is that I am a lover of Charles Lamb, with whom I have many points in common. I have an affectionate sister for whose sake I will sacrifice my life and lead a single life, like the English humorist Was he not a clerk in the Indian company till his retirement through the approaching age? I said my sister, but to tell the truth, she was my cousin, and the past throe years was a tragic comedy to us, and from pure love, and by mutual consent, we will lead * brother and sister Ufa

My second motive is that I may become a gentleman through your favor, with whom I had no means to know each other hut such Insolent way on my pwt W How glad my parents and dear sister be If they hear some day that I get a position in your ofllce. I Intend to enter some school within two or three days and train myself in bookkeeping and in the practice of typewriter. -♦. ■■ Hoping you would not kindly forget me through an artless frontier (front?). Yours faithfully, KATSUTARO. Here is a letter from a Japanese shipping firm to the steamship company respecting—well, respecting whatever it means: . Dear Sir: According to your favor of November 28, 12-10th, with reference to a discrepancy of 275 sacks of flour, we send you the invoice No. 81, which you have not. We beg you to return the invoice when you will not be short of it —and to Inform us what it will be Intend by you in reference to this discrepancy’s explanation. One of the Japanese employes of the steamship office in Yokohama was summoned up-country by the illness of a brother. Here Is the letter which he wrote to the agent upon his arrival home: “My Honorable Mr. J. —I will never I'orget yoftr kindness. When I was hastening to return to my home I felt that train was excedingly slow. Certainly train was quick, but my thought rather sooner than its running. All things which caught my eye on the way were very beautiful and attractive in the past time, but now they seemed disagreeable, gloomy, clumsy and sorrewfnL—

Then in the future what appearance they will have to show me! All time on the way home I could not avoid to think fragments of the following phrases: What is life? What la human being? What is ambition? Life is earnest or life is an empty dream. From dust to dust. What is the immortality of the soul? Such uncontrolllng thoughts came to occupy their places in my mind. Phantom after phantom. Imagination after imagination, all time. I found such an irregular conception of thinking and could not get a categorical thought But for a moment I changed from business man to philosopher. When arrived at my home I saw three doctors and many relations gathering around my brother’s bed. At a sight of such a deplorable scene I thought that my brother has at last gone, so I hastened to see "Kim, but happily he was breathing but could not perceive me well, and only heard my voice. In that moment I thought all was gone, my tear dried, mind confused, only I felt as if I became a neutral being. But .fortunately he came to correct his mind, and to perceive objects well, after two hours by taking care of dootors. Thea how great was our glad. It was beyond description. But after that he is staying in a very perilous point, whether he will die or live, sink or swtm in so slight a change of condition Mi late la to be destined. Doetor said his deoUnatloa can be known in the course of a few days, then I want to know probaMs tendency of condition of his tdcknees. Will you please shew nso to stay home more a week? I have wished to write you as soon as I casse here but could not Please excuse my npohte word and crowded sentence. I remain yours, obedient fallow. k. M.