Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 40, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 January 1908 — The Comic Side oF The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side oF The News

Money is suffering from bad circulation. Pennsylvania miser who spent only 3 cents last year is dead. He just couldn't bear the increase in living expenses. An Aurora (Ill.) physician has discovered that peanuts are a beauty diet: This ought to be a circus for some people. An Eastern banker says, “We. want more common, sense.” We want also more dollars, which are not so common now. If prices of bread and meat keep on coming down, pretty soon the average man can afford to eat three meals a day. Chief Sprybuck, the Indian who drank a quart of blue paint, is carrying the “decorative interior” fad to an extreme. With 1,300,000 divorce suits in ten years, the United States is plainly in need of a national “Stay-Married Association.” Secretary Corteiyou is trying to irapies's us with the fact that stockings were made to be worn and not to hoard money in. ' '■ James J. Hill says the., railroads need" billions of dollars. From present prospects, it will be sometime before they get ’em. ;•■•■ ~ •; After a while it may dawn on the army recruiters that the average soldier doesn’t look upon sl3 a month as any great graft An Italian count one American heiress married turned out to be an ex-convict S.ome of the other counts haven’t yet been convicted. . . Those people who will fail to notice the absence of “In God We Trust” fronr+hw now ten-dollar gold pieces will be largely in the majority, * \ Astrofctfmers are worrying over the fact that the rings of Saturn are disappearing. Maybe the hard times have eompeHed hat to pawn ’em.