Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 40, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 December 1907 — YULETIDE CYNICISMS. [ARTICLE]

YULETIDE CYNICISMS.

Remember the poor. The rich we have with us always. The merry Yuletide prompts us to hope that you’ll tide it over. With the indiscriminate giving of Christmas presents, it Is hard to believe that a fair exchange Is no robbery. Perhaps the reason the holly Is red Is because it blushes for the sins of the mistletoe. Thank heaven, it isn’t only the aristocrat who can have a family tree at Christmas. Be Christmas white or Christmas green, it’s all the same to you, if Christmas finds you all serene and doesn’t make you blue. Lots of us hang up our stockings only to discover the next morning that we have put our foot In it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but at Christmas it’s presents. It doesn’t take a magician to transform a small boy into a turkey gobbler. When Santa Claus comes down the chimney he chases many a man up the spout. It’s the vanity of the sex that prompts the female turkey to wonder how she is going to b'd dressed for the Christmas dinner. A girl asked me what I thought would be the nicest thing to put in her stocking. I told her I couldn’t think of anything nicer than what she already bad in it, and then she got mad. Some girls are never satisfied.—New York Times.