Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 40, Number 6, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 September 1907 — PULSE PRESS [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

PULSE PRESS

' 1 A woman always likes to have the telephone ring when she has company. —Chicago News. A bachelor can become very fond of spending his nights at the club by getting married.—New York Press. The country is too busy to fool with WalF street and too big to let Wall street' fool with it. —Philadelphia Press.

Secretary Taft must be coming to the conclusion that the man who gets the presidency earns it —Philadelphia Press,

The worst hasn’t come yet. Before the 1938 election we shall probably have the souvenir postal card canvass. —New York Mail.

What a demand for wireless telegraphy the present blockade of the wires should serve to create. —Philadelphia Record. “~t

A well known officer says the army Is no place for the automobile. No, indeed; war is bad enough as it la —Washington Post.

Another bad feature of poor country roads is that the autoniobllist is coifrpelled to' work off his speed mania lh. towru—Syracuse Herald.

The bubonic plague is spread by rats, which communicate it to fleas, which Inoculate human beings. Avoid all fleas. —Philadelphia Inquirer.

Benjamin Franklin would probably say that the whistle which calls men out ou strike is one that costs too much.—Philadelphia Inquirer. The Utah bear that held up a train is not such a novelty. Both bears and bulls frequently hold up entire railway systems.—Washington Herald.

A recent waterspout in Kentucky created great excitement. It Is doubtful if anything eould fill Kentucky with more horror. —Washington Herald.

A good many 6? us find it easier see good in a big trust than in the man who touches us for a dollar and tlieq forgets to return it. —Washington Post.

Marriage with a deceased wife’s sister has been legalized in Great Britain, enabling Britishers to keep, a good provider in the family.—Detroit Free P(;ess.

A scientist says the inhabitants of Mars are 15 feet tall. They need to be in order to fit in with some of the stories told about them.—Washington Herald.

Considering the fact that thread is hard as ever to get into a needle’s eye, the rumor of an increase in its price seems unusually preposterous. — New York Mail.

Heavy thinkers are still discussing the question, “Can a woman become an angel?” It is certainly a wonder if she can after being married a while.— Washington Post. Prof. Shaler Matthews says “marriage is too much Tike a picnic.” There is some diversity of opinion concerning the unalloyed joys of picnics, however.—Washington Herald. A new law in Alabama makes.lt a misdemeanor to carry a pistol less than two feet long. If that doesn’t cure some men of the gun-toting habit we miss our guess.—Washington Post. The other day a New York elephant swallowed a roll of bills amounting to S4OO. There doesn’t seem to be any use In cautioning people not to put money in a trunk.—Philadelphia Telegraph.

Lieutenant Colonel Ayres has been put on the retired list All army women who ore not ready to have their husbands retired will take notice and govern their tongues accordingly.— Philadelphia Record. *

A Baltimore man has been complaining of feeling a live frog moving around in his stomach. Perhaps if he were to swallow a toadstool the frog would take It as an indication to. sit down.—Washington Post.

A Brooklyn woman tvho has attained the age of 107 years is reported to be passionately fond of nutomobittng. An other proof of the oft-asserted fact that love of life disappears with the coming Of old age.—New York Tribune. Queen Wilhelininn has conferred tbs Order of Orange of Nassau upon Librarian Carnegie. There will be no lemon for “Andy” so long as his money lasts and he continues to entertain ills peculiar idea about the undesirability of dying rich.—Columbus EnquirerSun. Emma Goldman told an anarchist congress In Holland that the liberty of the masses In America existed only on paper. If die could make all Europe believe that the undesirable masses won’t be coming here so numerously in tbe future.—Philadelphia Tress.