Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 40, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 13 September 1907 — THE Comic side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

THE Comic side of The News

The shortage of fruit makes this a sort of canned-goods summer. The.summer shoes this year bring us one step nearer to tHP*yellow peril. Schmitz, of San Francisco, is going run for Mayor as far as the penitentiary will let him. The United States has at last succeeded in shedding itself of its James Ilazen Hyde. Uncle Sam, it seems, has lost an island in the Pacific somewhere. Has Japan been searched? Astronomers have found a new canal on Mars. But the one on Panama is still subject to delay. Mr. Rockefeller’s knowledge of the affairs of his own company is almost as profound as his silence. Uncle Sam has a hard time in summer with pauper immigrants pouring in and American money pouring out. , Most of the summer hotel proprietors would give anything for a method for the painless extraction of pockctbooks. What is home without a Teddy bear? A New York child fell three stories, landed on its stuffed pet, and was unhurt. The King of announces that it is a very happy feeling to be a father. Just wait, Alf. till teething time begins. It was a woman who figured that os a result of the telegraphers’ strike the wires might become seriously damaged from rust. Men who have been trying to drink all the whisky In the country may feel encouraged to know that they consumed 11,4(10,252 gallons more last year than the year before. The Standard Oil Company has declared another $0,000,000 quarterly dividend. Reporta that the Standard was about to go to the poorhouse were evidently without foundation. • If the Standard Oil Company made $1110,800,000 in three years when its president wasn't able to attend to business, what would It make if John D. Rockefeller was in working trim?

How’s This? W« sffsr Oh* HaadreA DalUnf Bawasf for any case of Catanh that aaaaot M cured br Hall’s Catarrh' Cora. F. J. CHJENBY i CO.. Toledo, O. We, the nuarslxned, have kaowa W. I. Cheney for the last U years, had balirre Mm perfectly hsl&rafcle In all hnalnsa* transactions and financially able to carry ont any obligations made by his Urns. WALDING, KINNAN i MARVIN, Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, O. Ha)l’s Catarrh Cure Is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and ancons aurfacea of the system. Testimonials sent free. Price 75 cents per bottle. Sold by all Druggists. Take Hall’s Family Pills for constipation.