Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 39, Number 85, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 June 1907 — THE WEEKLY HISTORIAN [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

THE WEEKLY HISTORIAN

We are to thank the backward spring for the destruction of the locusts, which were about to hatch out in uncountable numbers. The same frost that laid Ha frigid fingers on the apple blossoms and the lilacs also gave a tweak to the locust eggs. At least this Is what rural personages who are posted on such things say. But the locusts probably wouldn’t have hatched out, anyway. There are two things that never happen when people say they will; one is the coming of the end of the world and the other is the appearance of the locusts. We have long given up th? end of the world as practically hopeless and have resigned ourselves to being deprived of that matchless spectacle which some more favored generation may possibly witness; and we have been so often disappointed in the locust prognostications that we now rank them along with weather bureau indicationsWe have heard stories by our grandsire* that once the “17-year” locusts filled the woods with roaring like the sound •! Niagara and that the bark of the treei was split asunder by the insects, and that the surface of the earth was made to lsok like a pepper box by the holes whence they had issued. And we have waited expectantly for a repetition of this wonder of nature; but, like the end of the world, It is always being postponed. The locusts appear to be great procrastinator*, or else their human prophets are great prevaricators. It may be, of course, that the locusts are mixed up in their calendar and not being able to decide whether the seventeen years of their “hibernation” has expired have decided to remain in seclusion until the matter is straightened out, rather than appear at a time that would ruin their arithmetical reputation. It is perilous to be premature, to arrive on the scene before the enrtain is np or the audienc* Mated, especially when your performance is so rarely given that the only thing that ranks with it is the- Oberamsnergau passion play which is presented only once in ten years. One can understand the deep mortification a seventeen-year locust would feel In appearing at the end of thirteen years or ten years, or any number of years except exactly seventeen. A miscalculation never could be forgiven. It would be as humiliating as Mark Twain’s experience in Switzerland when wrapped in a blanket he sought to witness the glorious spectacle of the rising tun and did not realise until he saw the ■miles of promenading ladies and gentlemen in afternoon costume that the sun was setting. Punctuality is of the utmost importance. Every properly reared locust known this. If the time set for the great periodical conclave is every seventeen years, then let it be observed to the lnstant. Tardiness is not to be extenuated. If they prove false to their name and appear any old year, they should be consigned to the ranks of the locusts which appear annually and have no ancient ancestry or traditions.