Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 39, Number 59, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 March 1907 — New on the Golf Links. [ARTICLE]

New on the Golf Links.

Two young ladies were making their first essay at golf. “Dear me!” said the first young lady. “What shall I do now? My ball is In a hole.” The second young lady took out a book of instructions. “Let me see,” she said, turning the pages. “I presume you must now take a stick of the right shape and get it out.” “Oh, yes, of course,” said the first young woman. “See if you can find me a stick shaped like a dustpan and brush.”

If. “Gentlemen of the jury,” erupted the attorney for the plaintiff, addressing the twelve Arkansas peers who were sitting in judgment and on their respective shoulder blades, in a damage suit against a grasping corporation for killing a cow, “if the train had been running as slow as it should have been ran, if the bell had been rung as It ort td have been rang, or the whistle had been blown as it should have been blew, none of which was did, the cow would not have been injured when she was killed !”• —Ram’s Horn. One trial will convince;you of the peculiar fitness of Nature’s remedy, Garfield Tea. For liver, kidneys, stomach and bowels, for impure blood, rheumatism and chronic ailments.