Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 39, Number 43, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 1 February 1907 — HE WAS FOOLED BY THE NOISE. [ARTICLE]

HE WAS FOOLED BY THE NOISE.

Tbonsht the Firm Wai Prosperous Because It Made a Racket. “Some people think that noise and prosperity always go hand in hand,” observed the bill collector to a Kansas City Star writer. “I came within an inch of losing my job once for thinking the same thing. It was this way: A big planing-mill Company Sprung up in the east bottoms, over-night. No one knew who they were, or where they came from, but they showed a-big credit in their bankbook and put up such a smooth line of* conversation that every one was more than willing to extend them credit. They purchased so liberally of my company that the boss told me to pay them a visit and incidentally ask: for a settlement. “Well, 1 called that afternoon at the planing mill and had a very pleasant interview with! the president of the company. He was a swell looker, that fellow; sported a diamond horseshoe in his tie, and a big sparkler on his little finger. That jewelry made a big hit- with me —I was young and foolish then. The president told me they only . settled once a month, but if I had time he’d show me through the factory. And there’s where I made my grand mistake, going through that factory. It was the busiest place you ever heard of. And noise? Why, I thought my ear drums would surely burst. If all this hubbub counted for anything, thought I, that planing mill must be coining money.

“But my story didn’t take with the boss,” continued the collector dryly. “He said noise didn’t necessarily bring any money and advised me to try again.” “The next time I called on the plan-ing-mill company the sheriff’s crepe hung on the door—that is, his official notice stating that the firm had failed and he was the whole power. The silence around that place was something awful. I peeked in the window and saw a tall, thin man sitting in the president’s chair. He wore a slouch hat and smoked a corncob pipe. He said he was the sheriff and asked me what I wanted. “ ‘Where's the president?’ I gasped. “ ‘Dunno,’ says he. “‘Er —is this place actually insolvent?’ “ ‘Sure pop.’ » “ ‘But, man,’ says I, desperately, ‘this place owes my company nearly SSOO. Why, I was out here only day before yesterday and went over the whole factory. Never heard so much noise in my life.’ “ ‘So?’ from the Sheriff. T ‘‘Mr.Sbbrlff,' r Tsbouted, _ ‘what' amT going to get out of this?’ “ ‘Sonny,’ said the Sheriff, smiling, ‘you got more out of It than the other fellers.’ “ ‘And what did I get?’ says I, with sudden hope. “ ‘Why, the noise,’ replied the sheriff.”