Rensselaer Semi-Weekly Republican, Volume 39, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 September 1906 — Comrade Nelson Relieves His Hind [ARTICLE]

Comrade Nelson Relieves His Hind

City Of Churches. Sept. 4tb, 1906. Mb. Editor: Many of my friends want to know of me when I am goirg to start my private car on the Electric Air Line, which the Monon E. BF gave me for Skeering my Fig So bad that he neither ate nor slept for many days and nights. I am pleased to inform my friend that I have not yet fully made up my mind what I will do with it, some times I think I will make a steam boat of it and turn it loose in Col. Thompson’s Ditch, but I am not going to enter into any contract until I am fully convinced that said ditch will not fill up with quick sand. Speaking of my Pig would you believe me if I should tell you that some of the Lawyers of our City of Churches, tried to make me believe that I had a good case and I should commence suit at once, oefore the pig got to fat. I wanted to know about how much per cent they would charge me to take the case. About 92Jper cent would not be out of the way. I told them J thought not for it would be a clear case of hog all around. While I think of it I would like to inform the City Council that my Pumpkin Vines have crawled something like 15 ft. into the street, now what I want to know is this have I got to buy ro, e and tie them pesky vines up the same as I do my Cow. J. W; Nelson.